Owner: Immoral Matriarch URL:http://immoralmc.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Tue, 08 Jan 2008 13:15:58 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: Thoughts, experiences, ramblings and opinions of a 23 year old married mother of two - sometimes parenting related, often not.
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Confessional Haiku 2008-03-07 10:00:17 3, 4F, 2, 4, 3, 8my measurements back then -too embarrassed nowSo my Haiku
'ic - Friday Confession is that I've gained a shit load of weight since I had my 2nd child. It's not baby weight. It's lazy-overeating-never-get-off-my-ass-possibly-hormonal-because-of-the-tubal weight. I need to lose...I want to say...60 pounds. J. and everyone else says that that's way too much and that I'll look anorexic but I pay them no mind.The only time you pay attention to someone telling you that you want to lose too much weight is when they say "You don't need to lose a pound!"If they say anything like "oh, that's too much!" or "maybe 10 or 15" or "you could just tone up a bit!" then they're full of shit; they think you're a walrus and are trying not to hurt your feelings.Trust me.My tits weigh 10 pounds ea Read more:Confessional
I know they love me. 2008-03-07 08:29:09 I woke up in a fucktastic mood today. Just really irritable for no reason. They didn't help. My day today - summed up in three interactions, all before noon.The Bella wanted breakfast.Get your own goddamned breakfast. You're 4 years old! It's time for you to learn how to work that stove! I cooked her breakfast: eggs, grilled cheese, vegetarian sausage."I wanted cereal."Goobie asked for her crayons and coloring book.Get your own friggin' crayons and coloring book. You're 27" - that's plenty tall enough to get it down off of the refrigerator. I gave her her book and crayons.She scribbled all over the glass front door.J. came out @ 10am."I thought I smelled breakfast. I waited in there for it."Maybe if you had come out and maybe, I dunno - taken the trash out you would have seen that I wasn't
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! 2008-03-07 08:28:04 Patrick Swayze has CANCER?Oh cruel Gods why do you always want the good ones?What did The Sway ever do to you?? You've already demolished the appearance and reputation of my childhood hero, Joseph Dredd. Why go after Dalton too? Fucking A! And I swear; you'd better be done with Frank Dux or I might have to start slicing up priests.You take mine - I'm gonna go after yours.Actually, I might have to do that anyway if you really let Leonardo DiCaprio tarnish the good name of Kaneda. I'm just sayin'...----I watched a fairly good film yesterday entitled The Lookout. It's about a man who was a high school hockey star before causing a horrible car accident that killed two of his friends, decapitated his girlfriend and left him with severe brain damage. He lives a sequenced life: dependent on patte
My Life. Hollywood Style. 2008-03-03 16:17:21 First, I must start off by saying that I'm in love with Mr. Lady. Oh, you don't know Mr. Lady? Well, you should. She's over at 'Whiskey in my Sippy Cup' [no, I don't believe she really gives her kids Jack Daniels] and she's another example of how all the coolest bloggers are Canadian. Well, she was sweet enough to share with me a juicy tidbit of HTML. Hover over a link. Hover over this link. Cool, huh? I love it. So, from now on, hover over the links. You'll find sweet little surprises from yours truly there.Now, on to the day's post.I'm joining Janet in offering up a synopsis for a film loosely based on my life. You'll love it. I expect to win Best Actress, Best Director, Best Adapted Screenplay, and Best Editing at the 2009 Academy Awards.The role of Joaquin will be played by Joaquin Pho Read more:Hollywood
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Ask Anything 2008-03-01 19:07:10 So. Ask me something. Anything. Seriously- anything.I'll answer it, truthfully and completely. No secrets here.Ask as many questions as you want.Ask for more information about a previously answered question.Ask 'why are you such a bitch?' or 'what do you think about back hair?'An-Ee-Thing.Do it in a comment here or use the contact form that's linked in the navigation bar up top. Whichever is cool. You can always come back and ask something new if you'd like, or read the latest by clicking 'Q & A' up there too.Latest questions answered on 03.01.08.What is your biggest regret in life, romantic relationship wise? I don't believe in regrets. Seriously. I very rarely apologize for anything or look back on the past worrying about what shoulda coulda woulda happened. But, I do wish I hadn't b
Poetical, Confessional, Multiple Craziness. 2008-03-01 18:59:05 So, I participate willing and happily in only one particular MeMe; Haiku Fridays. This is due to my own annoyance at blogs that shield their lack of content with paid posts and memeatic [ Read more:Confessional
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I will Crush You 2008-03-01 12:00:32 Yesterday the FedEx lady brought me some new tulips. There was no card. I asked J. why he bought them and he said "because your Valentine's Day ones died". Then he told me that I owed him a blow job anal 'something'. He said he was joking. I called his bluff. Sweet, huh? I was astounded, and elated. He's coming along nicely. This is 5+ years in the making of course, but, progress is progress!We had a shaky therapy session this week. I was cramping like a summamabitch and not in the mood to hear anything negatory about myself from him, or any 'constructive criticisms' from our counselor. I must have made that obvious because at one point the good doctor told J. "Well, I see how she can be difficult to deal with..."Wha'? Me? Nooooo!We pettifogged over a couple of things that had been botheri
My Mind is in the Gutter. 2008-02-26 19:57:23 While everyone, or no one, according to those pesky Nielsen ratings, was watching the Oscars both of my televisions were tied up recording The Tudors, The L Word**, and Law & Order: Criminal Intent so I sat watching Perfect Stranger.Two words. Giovanni Ribisi. Holy hell. I have never found him attractive, previously. Cute, maybe, but nothing worthy of swooning or exceptional remembrance. Holy hell. Holy friggin' hell. He was hot. He was everything I fiend for besides tall and tattooed. He was all geeky-best-friend-stalkerish-hiddenly-hot-innocent-freakazoid.I was done when he had Halle Berry cybersexing him unknowingly and he said "put your fing-"- no. Watch the movie. When you get to that part, if you don't feel a tingle you need to get checked out. I'm just sayin'. I'm not even one f
The Rest of 'em. 2008-02-26 14:29:16 Almost 2 months ago I posted 43 things about me.It's time to finish that list now.But this time it won't be alphabetical order.I present:57 [More] Things about Maria...1. I had to use a calculator to make sure 100-43= 57. Sad, eh?2. One of the things I pride myself on is my ability to appreciate the opinions of others. That's why my tagline is 'You don't have to agree with me...'3. I vacuum every single day.4. I think Goobie sucked all the Mexican out of me. I mean, every time we pass a Latino on the street they start doing head counts on their own children, making sure I didn't snatch one up.5. I worry that I'm not providing enough diversity in the lives of my girls. It's important to me that they recognize and identify with the struggles of minorities, whether they can 'pass' or not.6. I
Week Ending Poetry. 2008-02-26 14:19:15 silence in my housesignifies trouble afootFilet Mignon - gone.[Yesterday, as the steak was resting Goobie decided that she was still famished after two heaping bowls of Penne Arrabiata, took it off the cutting board and devoured it. At least I know it was tender.]Facebook: depressingall my classmates college gradsI'll stick with MySpace[So I dropped out and didn't finish high school until just a couple of years ago. I chose a different path, marriage and kids: it's not like I've accomplished nothing but really - what have I accomplished? I take solace in the fact that I was more intelligent than all of them. Hehe.]mystery shoppingdinner hotel stay moviesI really like free[I signed up with some 'secret shopper' organizations recently out of boredom and desire to make a quick buck here and t Read more:Ending
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Mmm Hmm.... 2008-02-26 14:19:15 I went to Taco Bell and was a bit amused and slightly disgusted to see that the capitalist pigs are even invading Lent. I mean, you can't be satisfied with Christmas? And Easter? You need to invade those 40 sacred days with refried beans and mass produced processed cheese products? Yes, let's signify the days that Jesus spent suffering in the desert by encouraging muffin tops and thighs that giggle when you jump! That'll really show our dedication to Christianity!One of the best shows on television, in my personal opinion is Nip/Tuck. If you haven't seen it, it's not too late to jump on the bandwagon. It's not Lost - crazy and confusing to even the most faithful of followers - it's easy to catch on and fall in love. It's graphic and distorted and fantastical and amazing. Sometimes it's dis
Numbered for your Pleasure!! 2008-02-26 14:19:15 So I'm mixing a bit of random, stupid bullshit in with some weird confessions of mine. Click the icon to the left for more [and probably quirkier] confessions from less awesome other people. I may add on to this tomorrow - but it's 1am so I think I'll keep it a bit short.[Did you see my new little Favicon in the address bar? It's Meeeeee! Aren't I better to look @ than that big orange Blogger logo?]
Marvel @ My MeMe... 2008-02-24 14:24:19 Avery Gray tagged me. So friggin' honored.The rules :1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).2. Open the book to page 123.3. Find the fifth sentence.4. Post the next three sentences.5. Tag five people & post a comment here once you post it to your blog, so I can come see. [You guys know I don't tag, I just want to be tagged. Seeeelllllffffiiiisssshhhh!]Alright, here goes:So everybody went to look at the car. When they found what was inside it, one of the men - maybe it was Al Dewey - said to him, told this Jonathan Daniel Adrian, 'Well, mister, seems like we've got something to discuss.' Because, inside the car, what they'd found was a 12-gauge shotgun. That was an excerpt from In Cold Blood by Truman Capote. My favorite book, by my favorite author, and it's an autographed Read more:Marvel
If you have a shitload of kids... 2008-02-24 10:21:53 you may not want to read any farther, lest you get offended. If you can't help yourself, just know that I warned you and don't expect me to apologize for or amend my personal opinions because it hurts your feelings. My blog. Remember that.I love Angelina Jolie. I have since first watching Gia, long before she became who she is. Before Girl, Interrupted, before Tomb Raider. Before Brad. I admire her as a person, as a woman, as a humanitarian, as a talent and as an open soul. I've been nothing but happy for her and the fact that she truly seems content with life.But yesterday after seeing her at the Spirit Awards I found myself a little annoyed at her. More kids, Angie? More? What is this? Maddox, Shiloh, Zahara, the other one, now this one - or these two? That's like 5 or 6 kids! In a very
Week Ending Poetry with a Political Spin. 2008-02-22 08:34:16 no stance on issues? have you watched any debates? what am I missing?I'm really tiring of hearing people say that Obama can't make up his mind. I'm really overwrought of the same thing coming out of everyone's mouth - he has no stance on issues, no plan, no whatever. Are you serious people? I watched last night's debate halfway with my mouth hanging open at the fact that people will use that for a reasoning not to support him. It's. Just. False. You don't like him - okay - so what - you don't like him. Cool. But make sure you have a reason outside of what you heard some idiot interviewed on Fox News say. What you read in a blog or the newspaper. Research and form your own opinion. Please. If you don't you're probably postulating nonsense.Hilary Clinton so what if she's a woman?I won't vote Read more:Ending
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Out of the Mouths of Idiots. 2008-02-21 12:31:17 I'm a MySpace snob. I don't add most people and I do weekly friend deletions to weed out those who aren't contacting me enough. I've deleted family members and real life friends. I don't care - if you don't talk to me via MySpace you won't be on my list for long. *shrugs*My profile is public, with the exception of a few photo albums and many blogs written there. It's probably because of the fact that my page and my 'Me' photo album are public that I get so many messages. They make me laugh. They make me roll my eyes. They piss me off and they sometimes give me the vain lift I need. I've noticed that I get the most messages when I have this picture set as my default. Maybe I just look so gangsta with my organic headscarf that they can't help themselves. Maybe it's that you can see all. up. Read more:Mouths
, Idiots
By Order of the Queen... 2008-02-19 16:30:23 Qweenie tagged me. I'm honored and obliged.Here are the instructions and my answers:A) Each player answers the questions about themselves.B) At the end of the post, the player then tags 2 people and posts their names, then goes to their blog and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog. [READ: Not doing it. I don't believe in tagging people. But I love it when tag me. I'm selfish like that.]10 years ago:*I was developing breasts.*I was living with my mother for the first time since I was 2, in upstate NY.*I was 80 pounds.*My hatred of snow began.* I was intent on naming my future son D'Jzahvion. Don't ask.5 Things that were on my “to-do” list for today: * Catch up on my Google Reader subscriptions.* Change the sheets.* Mop th Read more:Order
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'80's Flashback!! 2008-02-18 16:12:00 Yesterday as I got out of the shower I heard J. shouting "Hey! Flock of Seagulls!" over and over in the next room.'Well, Maria," I thought to myself [yes, I say my name to myself in my head - don't you?] "He's finally gone batshit crazy."I came out to find him chasing a snorting, giggling, Goobie [whom I had last seen napping in my bed] around the house- flailing his arms and still yelling it. I was puzzled until Goobie took a turn and starting running full speed at me.Do you see it? Are we both nuts? Here's a comparison:*And it's a camera phone picture. She's way cuter than that.
So. So.... 2008-02-14 17:21:22 I'm not a *huge* fan of Valentine's Day. I never have been really, but even more so because the past few have sucked tremendously. The only one worth remembering was before J. and I were married. He bought me a $400 life sized teddy bear that the Hallmark store was giving away as a prize in a contest, just because I said it was cute as we passed the window. Said teddy bear was later sliced open with a box cutter [READ: There's that anger problem again]. But that's my best Valentine's Day.Wait, then there was the year we left The Bella with my family the first time overnight and went out of town. We conceived Goobie and he took me to the zoo to cry over how small the gorillas' habitat was. Eh, 2 outta 5 ain't bad I guess.Actually last year was pretty good too because even though I didn't re
It Never Ends... 2008-02-14 12:47:28 On my iGoogle front page, in my news gadget I noticed this story, and against my better judgment - I clicked. Why, oh why?Fucking PeTA.Are you serious?I mean are you seriously, really, serious?You liken breeders to the Klu Klux Klan? The KKK?Do you not see the more valid comparison of your organization to them, rather than that of breeders and dog shows? Well...I'll be happy to break it down for you.Domestic dogs were created. They were bred, selectively for particular traits over hundreds of years. Those that are recognized by the AKC have been established for decades. Breeders - good breeders, reputable breeders, responsible breeders - are ensuring that the lines and characteristics of these breeds are not lost amongst the inferior specimens resulting from backyard breeders and puppy mil
Highly Combustible. 2008-02-12 15:29:45 I'm no longer facing those assault charges.So gather 'round and hear the tale of: The Girl who almost lost everything she holds dear because she couldn't keep her hands to herself: A lesson in Turning the Other Cheek. J. and I have never gotten along well. Even before we were married our relationship was volatile and tumultuous, always either the consummate love or the epitome of divorce validity. We've spent the majority of our marriage living in separate houses and I credit the fact that we're approaching our 5 year anniversary to that.I have a temper problem. A very serious one that I recognize. The only ones who are immune to my anger issues are... well... everyone but J. Before him I would blow up on anyone and everyone that rubbed me the wrong way. Since I've been with him I've disc
Week ending poetry [and another MeMe to boot]. 2008-02-09 15:28:59 drank a Spike todayheart attacks? jitters? headaches?didn't do a thing----------Stacey @ RealWorldMom tagged me because I'm the awesome and she realizes it. Wait - no, because she's the awesome and she knows I that I realize it. Here are my lists of five things I love and five things I hate. Sooo easy - I love or hate everything - there's no gray area for me; I'm drastic!Things I Love1. My girls [that's mushy and cliché] Dog Rescue. It's my passion. I specialize in the rehabilitation of bully and brachycephalic breeds. I've been involved with over 6 dozen successful placements so far. I'm on sabbatical right now though. I've kind of had my fill of abused Pit Bulls and tepid Boxers for the time being.2. Strawberries. Except, I don't get why people view them as sexy or as an aphrodisiac. I
What I do Best. 2008-02-05 17:59:14 I think too fast. I think too much. I've been told this by everyone from my grandparents to my favorite English Literature professor to my husband to people on MySpace. Because my brain works @ an unimaginable pace I am very good @ babbling off randomly. I'll give you an example.I just read an article about minorities supporting Obama simply because he's a minority. So I'll comment on that, and then I'll talk about everything that crosses my mind thusly, in order. We'll see where it ends up. I'm not promising it'll make a damn bit of sense.I do not support Barack Obama because I'm 1/2 black. I support him because now that Kucinich is officially out of the running, he is the candidate the most closely matches my personal opinions on different political topics.I do not believe in creating pa
I've come to realize...[Semi-Photo Blog] 2008-02-04 09:56:44 that I don't have enough pictures up. That's to blame on the fact that I *still* haven't replaced my lost/stolen digital camera. It was attached to my wrist and I never went anywhere or did anything without it. I'll probably be replacing it with a Canon Powershot G9 this month. Is that a good camera? I dunno. I don't want an SLR because I wouldn't get full usage out of it [read: I wouldn't know what the hell I was doing] but I want one that takes really great pictures. What do you all use, and how do you like them?I'll share some photos, some recent and some not. Just because - people like visual stimulation. And I always use too many words - that's boring...The BellaAin't she a doll? Dude, that's rhetorical - I already know the answer.GoobieThose teeth are the result of her constant thumb Read more:Photo
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Self Reminder. 2008-03-12 09:05:02 You're not going to counseling this week because of schedule conflicts. But what's transpired this morning needs to be brought up at next week's appointment so make sure to check back to this entry before next Wednesday.-------You were attempting to explain the plot of of Grindhouse: Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof to Jason as you sat in the Chik-Fil-A drive thru. He seemed to be listening to you, as much as he ever is in the beginning. Then, an alert flashed on the Sirius screen [Ringo Starr's 'Oh My My'] and he decided to turn up the radio. While you were still talking.Of course this pisses you off and you stop talking and start looking out of the window, to which dipshit says "I turned it just a hair for The Bella, I'm still listening - keep going!". You ignore him.After you get your fo Read more:Reminder
Nipples, Suction Cups and Bottle Brushes. 2008-03-11 15:35:55 Click the images above for more baby feeding stories.Disclaimer: The following entry contains lots of boob references. But fellas- not in the good way. They're all about breastfeeding. So if you don't find that sexy or if talk of leaking nipples and lumpy tits disgusts you, move along.You're welcome.Breastfeeding The Bella was never optional. It was what I was going to do, and I knew it - even before deciding to concieve her. I wasn't even aware of all the potential dangers of formula feeding; the toxins, the ingredients that only pharmaceutical reps can pronounce, the other yucky stuff. I just knew that breastfeeding was something I wanted to experience. I scoffed at J.'s daughter's mother not nursing for whatever reasons she had without even being aware of them.I bought the books, the
My Laminated List 2008-03-10 13:36:02 So I was getting updated on my blog subscriptions and I came across this post. I loved it so much that I stole it. Fuck a Friends - I didn't really watch the show - but I love the idea of a Laminated List.Here is my group of 5 men [one really a woman] that if I ever get the opportunity to bone, Jason would have to step aside and let it be. It's picture heavy because I'm a total hot man [and woman] whore but it's so worth it. I expect to get like 1,000 hits on this entry within the next 24 hours - 950 of them from me.I'm also including honorable mentions. Like I said, I'm a whore. *shrugs*Number one is Jonathan Rhys-Meyers. Judith and I are currently arranging the terms and rules of wrestling match over him. I love her, but I'm going to kick her ass. Get ready bitch. [After drinks though, t
Haiku Confession. 2008-03-14 11:15:56 google reader hasseventy eight blog entries and it's only noonI've been slacking this week, spending all my time and energy on something else important to me. The kids?No, not my kids - are you serious?Pfft!! What do I look like?Something else...I'm going to do my best to catch up on your blogs. One can't expect to keep readers if they aren't active in their community, you know? I take that button in my sidebar very seriously.
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Dun duh duh da!!! Super Ant!! 2008-03-13 12:43:26 Ever since I was young, I've always admired ants. They are so intelligent, so hard working, and they have that team spirit thing down. If we could all be like ants, always working together and lifting one another up - we'd be set. I'm just sayin'. I actually get angry at people who smash anthills for fun, just to watch them scramble. Poor little ants, you know?I respect the ant.Except when they don't respect me and mine.Today, there was an ant on my counter. An ant that looked like he'd been suckin' down some HGH because he was friggin' huge. So I balled up my fist and I smashed him:BAM! BAM! BAM! He was in a little ball, arms and legs squirming and writhing . Instead of finishing him off, I left him there. To die a slow, painful death for daring to invade my home. Daring to go near my Gre Read more:Super
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