Owner: Bee\'s Musings URL:http://beesmusings.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Fri, 04 Jan 2008 20:30:14 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: You will not find the answers or guidance but you just might giggle, smirk or at least smile! Site statistics:Click here
Hand job 2008-04-12 21:03:00 They are hand rolling cigars!...
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Dean Martin 2008-04-12 20:33:42 Now I'm listening to Volare. I feel like cleaning....
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Read more:Martin
Can u say LOUD!! 2008-04-12 20:04:43 Right next to the speakers. at least I can pretend not be able to hear!...
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Wha???? 2008-04-12 20:00:17 Andy's male coworker just offered a thousand dollars for a night with him!!...
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No title 2008-04-12 18:04:27 Standing around in for inch heels waiting...
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No title 2008-04-12 14:44:43 I've decided to post anything <i>I</i> might find interesting in real time from Scarlett while at the wedding. I promise typos!--==================================================================This mobile text message is brought to you by AT&T...
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Rob Jim French Fries Birds Asshat Wedding. Not in that order. 2008-04-11 22:38:26 -Day 102.-Is it me or do Vanilla Ice and Jim Carrey look like they could be brothers?Rob Vanilla Winkley Ice was arrested but... he looks extremely happy about it. I used to have such a crush on him! I had a great day on Friday! I did very little real work, nobody pestered me... HEAVEN!I cleaned out my folders, both virtual and real worldly, shredded incriminating evidence, sent love letters to myself and a bunch of other stuff I can't remember.I was in such a relaxed happy state of mind, not even losing the Caption Contest at Diesel's, (I came in second thanks to all my reversible psycholibis) made me cranky. You know what the great thing about that was? I now show up on Technorati THREE times on King Diesel's blog. Yup! I am on a sweet, chocolaty high!So ummm, yeah, you'll have to settle Read more:French
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Dearly departed... 2008-04-13 22:17:38 -Day 104-You know what I learned this weekend? That I can't trust you guys! You told me the wedding would suck and I'd cry all night while hiding under the table! You lied to me! Here I trusted you and instead you abused our friendship and exploited my anti-social fears.You should be ashamed of yourselves!What? You thought I'd take the blame for building up the dreaded wedding and then actually enjoying it? Then you don't know me very well!.It began shaky when Andy introduced me to his coworker:"Bee this is the other Andy, this is my wife"I shook his hand and said "Wow! I bet it's not annoying to keep getting called 'the other Andy'!"SILENCE! No, not silence, I could hear crickets chirping..Hey man, if I hit a nerve, say so! man up and tell people you don't like being in my Andy's shadow! Read more:Dearly
Last one of the night 2008-04-13 00:00:38 Safely home my Andy is tired.It's passed our bedtime, G'night!
Woman's anthem 2008-04-12 22:46:06 Gloria Gaynor's I will survive. All women on dance floor!
I once was lost but now I’m at Target. 2008-04-14 22:36:42 -Day 105-You know, I sometimes wonder what posses parents to bring their untrained offspring with them everywhere they go.Stop. No need to send me hate mail. I know YOUR kids are angels and YOU’RE the perfect parent blah blah blah…I went to Target
to get some of my essentials, stuff that keeps my hair radicus and my skin blemish free and glowing.There I am, minding my own business, trying to decide between -gel extra strength antiperspirant- or -no stain solid antiperspirant- (always go with the gel, that way you don't have the problem of half the deodorant breaking out of the container after a brisk swipe of the pits), when all of a sudden! Two little kids run by me nearly toppling me over! Okay, not so much toppling since my center of gravity is so low to the ground (my butt) but I d
I took a Pol and named him my husbandy! 2008-04-15 22:43:46 -Day 106-It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.- Friedrich Nietzsche .So… today is the anniversary of the day Andy and I committed ourselves to this loony existence. You'll be surprised to learn we did so willingly, sober and on purpose!We normally don’t celebrate it because our love for each other is a daily celebration filled with loud expletives, vase throwing, and yes, sometimes even dog feces.To my surprise, my knight in electrical armor, asked me if I wanted to go out to a fancy schmancy dinner. I told him it hurt my nose hairs to spend money on expensive food so I suggested the following places:.KFC: Meal for 2- $10 + taxIf we order the 3pc (Thigh, Leg, Breast) extra biscuit (giving us a total of 2), 2 sides which would be potato wedges Read more:named
A lawyer walks into a bar and orders a beer... 2008-04-18 00:49:05 ... only replace *bar* with *my office* and *orders
a beer* with *yells in my face*!Thursdays are usually the days OZ does surgeries so he never shows up at the office. You would think it'd be the best day of the week to work, right? Wrong!Usually the bats think it's socializing time. I call it Social Thursday.The day wasn't bad so far, I'd had my coffee. I was filling pretty mellow, especially cuz it was treat day and I decided to have a BROWNIE for breakfast, YEAH I SAID IT! I heard the door open and CL talking to a man. The man started getting louder and louder. I hid walked close to the front desk to hear what he was saying, that's when I heard my name.WELCOME TO FUCK OFF FRIDAY ON A... WELL, FRIDAY! Picture with permission of All Fantasy ArtTurns out he was an attorney who was pissed Read more:walks
This is not about Madonna's big dick. 2008-04-16 23:26:07 -Day 107-The anniversary dinner was a success! A success I tell you! It also made me realize the reason why Andy and I will be together until the day I have to change his diapers (hopefully a very long long time from now!) (I need to build a resistance first) is because we haven't changed! Sure, our salaries are higher since we no longer have to live off a fast food nickles and pennies paycheck, but us? We're still the same.What were we doing 9 years ago? You ask.Well, I can guarantee I went to pick Andy up at Brown's in my car (he didn't have one back then), then he drove us to his comic book store while I waited in the car. We went to Baker's Square for dinner. I had a pita, he had a burger and we shared pie a-la-mode. We also imagined winning the lottery...He then did a one man reenactm Read more:Madonna
Under going maintenance of the... 2008-04-18 22:21:54 Needed so I don't end up looking like a homeless Olivia Newton John.My imagination is trying to make me believe there was an Earthquake Friday morning (while I was dreaming about flowers) which is impossible because I know for a fact I moved from California in 1990.
Dashing through the snow... 2008-04-19 22:23:30 Do you realize it's April TWENTYETH??? Next thing you know we'll be singing Christmas Jingles!So... I started my gardening. It's been therapeutic but exhausting! My brain is still going thru some shit. Hopefully this ugly dude will fix the screws by Monday.
Damn my delicate skin and sweet blood! 2008-04-20 22:23:47 Normally I bitch about Mondays because it's the day I have to go back to work. Now I'm bitching about it because it's THE DAY I HAVE TO GO BACK TO WORK!Okay, yeah, I guess there isn't anything different.I have some news for you. News that will shock you to your very apple core! I.AmNotAs young as I was last year!!I'm not!Last year, when I was cleaning out my garden and planting, it took me until about mid June to feel too tired to close my eyes. You know, back when I was THIRTY-FOUR??Now, after just one weekend, I'm sunburned (sunburnt?) and achy breaky but... I'm loving every minute of it!My local home improvement store didn't have all the flowers I wanted (which made Andy's wallet happy) so I still have allot to do but so far, I'm happy.We also had our first customer in our bird bath. Us
By George, I think I've lost it!! 2008-04-21 22:06:06 More ranting.I’m sorry. I thought I was okay but I’m obviously still festering the hate within my gut!Glynda came in and told me OZ wants me to walk to Subway and get his fuckin' sandwich! Last I checked I wasn’t in the catering business!! I was going to say no but it’s so beautiful outside, I thought it’d be good to step out for a minute.Right before I left I was told 3 times BY THREE DIFFERENT PEOPLE that someone needed help with translating. I've said how much I love helping people that really need me. I know it goes against my cantankerous personality but I don't mind at all.But! Having one person after another come remind me about it really pisses me off! Do you know how much they used to pay for a translator before my humble little butt worked here? $120 AN HOUR!!If Oz made Read more:George
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Crackers Ice Boobalicious Gnomes 2008-04-23 22:08:29 Okay! Enough crabbiness!This post is going to be about love! One of the bats brought these delightfully delicious crackers and I fell head over heels in love! Do you see the heart? That means it loves me and wants to take me home to meet momma Triscuit!▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬In other news.Crazy Ez, my sister in law, is one of the finalist at Diesel's caption contest. VOTE FOR HER IF YOU THINK HER CAPTION IS FUNNY! I'm not trying to force you because you are all add-ults. I mean, if you can pick your own socks/underwear, I'm sure you can decided on your own what's funny or not. Beware though because that Stushie dude is a finalist again so cover your tracks so he doesn't know I mentioned the contest. Shhhhhh.▬ Read more:Crackers
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♫ ♥ ♪ What a man what a man what a mighty mighty good man! ♪ ♥ ♫ 2008-04-22 22:07:36 What the hell?Andy and I were watching South Park on Comedy Central. A commercial for Girls Gone Wild comes on.3 minutes later, the freakin' commercial is still on and steam is coming out of my ears since Andy's gaze has not left the screen where SKANKY HALF NAKED BITCHES ARE FLASHING THEIR BOOBS! (granted they're nubbins are being covered by a postage stamp sized blur)Then! Bee [shocked]:Did they just say [::whisper::] titties on basic cable television?????Andy:I'm not sure, let's find out.WHAT DOES HE DO? HE REWINDS IT TO THE BEGINING!! What. A. Guy!By the way, they said CITIES.Lights over Phoenix.That's all I'm sayin'!
My life in 3 segments... 2008-04-24 20:38:03 Home-More joyous martial experiences.Monday night approximately 10:20 pm:Andy: [excited]Bee! I was just elected Guild Master of my Wacking Wizards and Ogres World Clan!Bee:Impressive! How much does it pay?Andy:Uh. Nothing.Bee:Well, that’s okay. Congratulations!Tuesday night approximately 9:30 pm:Andy: [sad]Bee! I was just impeached as Guild Master of my Wacking Wizards and Ogres World Clan!Bee:The hell?? Didn’t you just get appointed last night?? It’s not even 24 hours and you’ve been Nixoned?Andy:Nixon resigned. I was grabbed by the collar and kicked out the doggy door!Bee:Well shit! You want me to go over there and kick some fuckin' geek ass??Andy:… … No.... ... Well, maybe. You're not going to blog about this are you?Bee:Babe, you have my word!(What?!? I didn't say he had my
Aloha! Mahalo! Only 30 more years till retirement! 2008-04-28 13:47:55 The hubs and I went to see:Forgetting Sarah Marshall I recommend you go see this movie since I thought it was hilarious! The crotch shots were totally worth it! I am not going to explain that sentence..Anyway, a few weeks ago, I had a horrible nightmare in which my dream of living in Hawaii went up in smoke because I was dipped in lava and... well, died.After that, I decided maybe Hawaii was not the place to live out my last days on Earth. Maybe I could relocate my fantasy retirement
somewhere less combustible.But!This movie was filmed in Hawaii and my fear of melting was quickly replaced with "Screw it! I've gotta die from something why not end up like all the food I enjoy, fried, charred, broiled, seared. There are worse ways to spend your twilight years."In other world shatettering news Read more:Aloha
This seemed carnivorous to me! 2008-04-26 23:19:10 I know I said I wouldn't post but then I saw in the news that Friday was the anniversary of Thriller! I was all "what? how did this momentous day pass me by?" Then I thought "oh yeah! I work in a fuckin bat infested hellhole and it's all I can do to keep my marbles in my head instead of using them to choke people... ::breathe::..."Anyway, they had a Bollywood remake of Thriller that had me laughing so hard the dogs were howling! Curiously, Andy didn't even come to check to see what was going on. Good to know!Normally, I get all my video laughs from The Poke Show but he seems to be MIA. I don't think anybody gave him the memo that said vacations or absences are a big no-no when I need laughs.WITHOUT FURTHER ADO! Indian Thriller:
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