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More Blogging Tips
2006-12-06 17:18:00
Class, you have inundated my email box with your questions about yesterday's posting, and I'll do my best to answer them all---eventually. Most of you wanted to know about the blogging tips I shared with my countrymen/women. Here are a few of my favs: 1. K.I.S.S. which I will interpret for the blogging newbies as Keep It Superficial Sweetie. In other words, keep your blog as superficial as possible for upmost popularity. Mention the blond divas like Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson as frequently as possible. The more you follow this advice, the more read(red) your posts will be. I have done my research, and I know whereof I write. If I were to refer to string theory, quantum physics or anything even close to being intellectual (which I have done so in my past), my blog popularity plummets. That is why it is important to dish about the divas. No one wants to read anything else but why and how Paris and Britney get out of limousines without their panties--this is
Read more: Blogging

Bin Gone, But Back Again to Market My Blog
2006-12-05 22:37:00
Yoohoo Class, your absentee teacher is back and with a BIG Smile on her face! Did ya miss me? Of course, you did! The Blogging Blues had me so down in the dumps that I needed a trip back home to my native country where I am an internationalpseudostar. In my native country of Blondissigaya, I am hugely popular and have received the Entertainer of the Year award a record of ELEVEN times, no small feat considering that in my country everyone is a s uperstar and have their own television shows--something that will eventually catch on in America which is just a tad behind the times. My latest production which was a combination of a skit, some song and dance (done by your very own Blondalicious Teacher of course), and news was an enormous success. I presented the Forbidden Blog-Blond Report, an expose on How To Cash In On Everything Through Blogging. Naturally, everyone took to these tips I shared in my report like ducks to water, and now everyone in Blondissigaya is blogging their fann
Read more: Again , Market

Singing The Blogging Blues
2006-11-26 05:14:00
Class, I'm back. Aren't you thrilled to have your blondalicious teacher back with her fabulous blog quips, gossip, slags, and tips? You haven't read a post from me lately because a. I've been busy and b. I had a bout of the Blogging Blues . Yes, tis true! It even happened to me, the Blog Queen! How do you know when the Blogging Blues Bug bites ya? For me this is how the blogging blues manifested: I had zero desire to post because everything seemed futile and nothing excited me, not even my super-expensive, gorgeous La Perla lingerie, my new black over-the-knee Jimmy Choo boots, or my invitation to the party of the year to celebrate the end of the Federline Era. Snarky blogs which used to make me laugh out loud now seemed tame and ho-hum. (Thank Goddess for Go Fug Yourself or my depression would have been way worse! This blogging team has kept me from totally going over the edge.) Movies, tv, and parties were boring because frat boy humor had taken over--the world appeared to be tem
Read more: Singing

Questions about Blogs, Bloggers & Blogging
2006-11-19 20:18:00
Good Morning Class! I was pondering the deep questions sent to me by Bobcha at this link and it prompted me to post some questions of my own. Maybe you can answer them for me? Why is the anagram of blog the word 'glob'? Do you suppose there's a hidden message? What do you get when you cross a blog with a dog? Answer: God Blog! Har Har! Where do blogs go when they die? Is there a blog Heaven, Hell and Purgatory? Or are we already experiencing all of these three categories? Why are there more male tech bloggers than female? Who actually uses Blog Directories? Who has the time to read blogs besides retirees, mothers, the incarcerated and the unemployed? Help me out here. I really want to know! Technorati Tags:blogs, bloggers,blogging, good questions
Read more: Blogging , Blogs

My Lunch with Sacha
2006-11-17 22:34:00
Class, I had lunch recently with my fabulous comedian-in-crime buddy, Sacha , better known to the world as the notorious Borat. Hmmm...Borat rhymes with rat. And spat. Why did I not see this rhyme before now? Oh well...moving on with my story. So Sachy-poo (my pet name for him) and I were slowly spooning some homemade borscht into our mouths and gulping down mangotini after mangotini, and this is what I recall of our conversation. I thought you might enjoy a recounting. Sachy-poo: I really don't understand why my audience and yours don't get us! (Big slurp with one tear falling into the martini glass) Blog-Blond: I always had faith that there would be more who see us and know we are really good people who merely enjoy making others feel uncomfortable for laughs. Does this make us horrible sadists? (Wiping away a tear so as not to smudge her perfect makeup) Sachy-poo: I like to hide behind masks and moustaches. Does that give others a right to beat me up like what happened to me the ot
Read more: Lunch

Which Blog-reality Is This?
2006-11-15 23:06:00
Class called to order! As most of you are hip that I play around with so-called REALITY on this blog and goof about reality , I was fascinated to discover a site which bills itself: "Your World. Your Imagination." The name of the site is Second Life. Read here to discover what this virtual world is all about. In this alternate universe, you create your own virtual avatar self, interact with other virtual selves, own land, make deals, party at a multitude of events, and do whatever your imagination can dream up. Those living in the Second Life even have their own currency exchange. Now when our wives or boyfriends or s.o.'s complain about our blogging addiction, we can shrug off their complaints with a sassy come-back like, "Well, at least, I'm not spending all my time at my Second Life!" Between gaming, blogging, living a Second Life, email, reading other people's blogs not to mention writing our own, who has time to have a FIRST LIFE or even work anymore? I suggest we are in dang


Zune Rhymes With Tune
2006-11-10 21:07:00
Class, I received so much email from you regarding Zune yesterday. What's wrong with your fingers that you can't just leave comments, eh? Anyway, let me give ya some links to Zune since obviously you can't figure out how to do the research for yourself! Sigh! You are obviously stupid AND naughty! I guess that's why you LOVE your Blondalicious Teacher so much. I take it most of you never go to the Battle of the Blogs to vote for me because I lost another battle. So I'm done with the kiddies. I have more important things to do like download my new Zune and hang with Lindsay and Paris! Most of you don't even know what Zune is. Here, I'll make it easy for ya, ok? Zune is the new digital mediaplayer with the release date of Nov. 14th by Microsoft as their answer to the iPod. I like some of their features like wireless sharing, a bigger screen and other things I can't remember right now. Links: Zunerama Zune Arts Zune Net Generation Zune Zunemasters And I'm absolutely no
Read more: Rhymes

My Blogging YouTube Gift To You
2006-12-08 22:39:00
Class, are you still here? I never know where you are anymore. If you aren't here, well then--where are you? It's hard to say after so many eggnogs, isn't it? Oh well, I will contribute something today before I head off for a weekend shopping jaunt to Paris. There have been SO many questions about blogging and about my native country I really don't know where to begin. First, let me say this:
Read more: YouTube , Blogging

Dear Santa...I Promise To Be Naughty, Not Nice
2006-12-13 05:01:00
Dear Santa , I just returned from Miami Basel, and I viewed lots of art I want for Christmas such as the expensive Wangechi Mutu pieces. Do ya think you could put some of those under my tree for free? I've not been a very good girl. I wear naughty underwear--I tease--I lie a lot and embellish for a good story--I am tricky, sly, and overt, BUT I'm also truthful, candid, in-your-face for a good cause and not one to be messed with. Does this combination make me a candidate for some good art gifts? Or not? Please let me know so I can suck-up to the right fella and not waste any more of my time with you if you're not going to fetch this art for me, ok? Lovingly, THE One, the ONLY BLOG-BLOND Technorati Tags:Miami Basel, Miami + Art,Santa Letters, naughy and nice
Read more: Dear Santa

The Sexiest Geek Contest
2006-12-14 05:25:00
Class, this is right up my alley since it is so silly. You can now vote for the Sexiest Geek at Body Hack . The last I looked Jade Raymond (a beautiful lady geek) was winning. I checked them all out, and all looked great. However, I liked what Tom Szaky is doing with his hair and his company Terracycle . He's got them both going on! Technorati Tags:sexiest geek , Body Hack,geeks, Terracycle
Read more: Contest

Global Orgasm For Peace
2006-12-15 23:59:00
Class...I don't often do this, but this email link and demo makes such profound SENSE that I am devoting a whole POST to it! Imagine! Check it out at Global Orgasm for Peace and feel free to join in if you feel like it. Consider it my GIFT to you! With MORE to come! Happy Holy Daze! Here's more from the email: o/)(o/)(o/) Peace Times (o/)(o/)(o/)(o/) Orgasm for Peace (o/)Solstice, Dec 22nd, 2006Peace Through Global Ecstasy (o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/)(o/) You know...Let's all come together, for peace.Love is all there is! Check the following link for a great flash presentation on this event:http://www.globalorgasm.org/demo.html Then visit the main site at:http://www.GlobalOrgasm.org Mission Statement The mission of the Global Orgasm is to effect change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible surge of human energy. The intent is that the participants concentrate any thoughts during and after orgasm


Tag Game of 6 Weird Things About Me
2006-12-19 19:42:00
Ok Class: I was tagged by Tisha to play this game and list Six Weird Things About Me. I have struggled with this game, and here's why: I am so d****** weird naturally that I have pondered what others might find "weird" about me which I just take for granted as being normal for me. At first, I was planning to do a little 'show and tell', but then I couldn't rustle up my objects. They were nowhere to be found, even though I have scoured my home. I must tell you: I have a big home, so they're probably hiding in some drawer somewhere. Thus, I had to change my Six Weird Things About Me plan, and now I've got this grand idea: what if I were to simply re-arrange random bits of information about myself to make me seem 'weird' by other people's standards? Is this cheating? I don't know what the ethics of this game are, so since Blog-Blond's philosophy is that what is called so-called "reality" really isn't real anyway, who cares?! Do you follow the logic? So here goes (after th


My Breakfast With Santa
2006-12-20 21:33:00
Basic set-up: Santa 's tres expensive Hickey Freeman suit is neatly placed on the mahogany valet near the bed because he will soon be off to Wall Street to distribute their mega bonus's. He is wearing red silk pajamas (with an elastic waist) which I have graciously provided for his comfort. No hat. No slippers. No underwear. Just pajamas. I am wearing my tres expensive ivory cashmere robe from Neiman Marcus-- the color looks good with my wheat-colored hair and canary diamonds. No hat, slippers or underwear. Mrs. Claus is off shopping somewhere. We are noshing on vanilla organic goat cheese yogurt, blinis, and sharing a bottle of Cristal (that's tres expensive champagne for those of you who don't know). I'm mouthing off a bit to Santa because frankly, he could do more for the poor people. Claus: I hear you've been very naughty this year. I see you haven't straightened up your act. Blog-Blond: Hey, one of these days, my act will pay off. You'll see--just like those friends of
Read more: Breakfast

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows!!!
2006-12-22 19:44:00
OK class...I'm gonna share a lil secret with ya. And it's not about my brunch with Mrs. Claus for the re-telling of that will be on another post. (Hint: he's not that into her anymore, but she's cool with this!) This is about my buddy Dave Taylor's email which arrived this morning in my crowded email box. Actually, I'm surprised I read it because there are so many things on my LIST to do, and sometimes I wait on the more serious reads if you know what I mean. I subscribe to Dave Taylor's blog because he's a smarty pants, and I learn a lot from him. Today I learned about his hazardous drive home to try and reach his family for Christmas which touched my heart and ALSO about his wise tip about Harry Potter ! What is that you say? Yes, this is why I have titled my posting the way I did. You can blame it all on Dave
Read more: Deathly , Hallows , Deathly Hallows

Merry Christmas
2006-12-25 19:14:00
Wishing all of you the Merriest of Chrissmakka's and Noel Nosh's! I will have much to report about my caroling, my brunch with Mrs. Claus, and I'm working on my "Blog-Blond's Top 10 Best Things in Blogdom in 2006" posting as well. Don't do anything I wouldn't do today! You know what that means! Technorati Tags:Merry Christmas , Christmas,noel, Mrs. Santa Claus
Read more: Merry Christmas

Blog-Blond's 2006 Year In Review
2007-01-02 22:54:00
Class: You've heard the saying: "Hit the ground running!"? Well, Jan 1st 2007 could be summed up for me like this: "Hit the ground crawling!" Yes, tis true I drank way too much champagne after we (Blog-Blond & The Blondies) performed at the Coliseum on New Year's Eve. We just kept rockin after performing some of our rap anthems: "I Don't Want Yo Boyfriend--He Wants Me!", "Off The Hook--Into The Hay", and "FlyChick--Fly Away" to a sell-out crowd. You know how it goes...we just kept wanting to do our thang, and so we partied way too hearty. Especially your blondalicious teacher!I'm recovered (somewhat) now and ready to give you My Year In Review. For me it was a SIZZLING year. For one thing, I began this blog in which I deliver blogging tips, sass, sarcasm, snide interviews, snark, quips, satire, bad puns, and lies served up with hot peppers.January


Blogging for Money? What a Joke!
2007-01-09 22:19:00
Class, I know I've been absent, but I have a perfectly good couple of alibis which I'm sure you probably could care less about. In any event, I'm gonna tell you anyway just to evoke some pity and sympathy and perhaps succeed in guilt tripping you. I've been re-thinking this bait called "Blogging for Money ". After careful consideration, I'm not so sure this is a likely 'done-deal', at least not


The Blog-Blond Best of Blogs Awards
2007-01-17 01:40:00
As I sat watching the Golden Globe Awards last evening, I had an 'aha' moment. I thought to myself, "Why don't I hand out awards too?" Of course, mine will be blog awards, not your NORMAL, run-of-the-mill kind which are usually handed out to your best buddies or those who bribe you! No, my Blog-Blond Best of Blogs Awards would be totally legit with none other than your Blondalicious Teacher as the sole judge and jury. Most of these bloggers are strangers to me. They know me not, and so why not?! I've looked over enough blogs to know a thing or two and been around the Blog Block so many times it's now ROUND.My blogs won't come with a cutesy generic code saying Best F@*king Blog or anything that boring. I don't plan to make something for you to post on your blog unless someone actually wants one and begs me. Then I might possibly consider giving a copy of a a dirty martini glass. Probably no one will even give a rat's a$$ anyway. This Blog-Award Thing is for My Fun and Your Educa


Is Zune Coming Too Soon?
1970-01-01 00:59:59
Class called to order! I realize that much of what I post here is over the heads of many of you, but I want you to stretch and reach for the stars. This is the best way to learn...and I try to teach you with humor to make it fun for you.In any event, there is a rumor going around which applies to my Headline Of The Day. You can read about it here on Engadget.Now I love juicy gossip and rumors as much as the next person, but I am disheartened to read about this possible premature ejaculation. As we we all know, when this P.E. happens, it's usually rather a sad thing. So hopefully, Zune Won't Come Too Soon!Here's another great link for you from the handsome Italian Robin Good (or is it really Luigi?). His site offers really great information. I ordered something from him this week which has been very helpful.Ta-ta....Technorati Tags:engadget, Zune,Robin Good, gossip


Yet Another Test!
1970-01-01 00:59:59
Class, I had so much FUN giving you yesterday's test, I decided to do it one mo' time! So pull out those powerful PENS and get down to business. I wanna see if you've got what it takes! You don't need to email me...it wouldn't kill ya to make a comment ya know!David Sifry is the founder of:a. eBayb. Funk & Wagnallsc. Technoratid. AmazonHow many weblogs are created approximately each day:a. 30,000b. 100,000c. 1,000,000d. 1 trillion taking into account off-planet blogsWhat is a splog:a. a newly born blogb. a blog imposterc. a blog that fell flat on its faced. a demonic bloge. none of the aboveHow often should one post to create a successful blog:a. every other dayb. every other hourc. once a minuted. none of the aboveWhat is the most popular blog language:a. Englishb. Spanishc. Chinesed. Farsie. KahaghastaniWhat is sping-fighting:a. spider warsb. splog battlesc. garbage collectiond. yesterday's newsCliches such as "getting our duck's in a row":a. make a blog more popularb. discred


Quiz Tyme
1970-01-01 00:59:59
Class, I suddenly had a harsh realization today: I haven't given you a test in a long, long time. So put on your thinking beanies and get to work answering these questions. If you've been keeping up with the blogosphere, you should have no problem getting an A from me. If not, you know what comes next! Thwack-thwack!Is Dave Taylora. the twin brother of James Taylorb. a famous bloggerc. someone you met in a bar once a long time agod. all of the abovee. none of the aboveAnna Nicole Smith a. blogs under the pseudonym of Poopsieb. doesn't blog, but forces Howard to blog for herc. doesn't know what a blog isd. could care less what a blog ise. all of the abovef. none of the aboveWhich famous blogger's comeback are you most excited about?a. Mr. Tb. Marilyn Mansonc. Roseanne Barrd. they have blogs?e. all of the abovef. none of the aboveWhich blog turns you on the most?a. Blog-Blondb. Plumbutt Chroniclesc. Fetish-Testd. Dispatches from the Wyrde. None of the Abovef. All of the aboveBlog-Bl


Stik Stuck It To Me
1970-01-01 00:59:59
Class: we're back in business. Yes, I know it's a Sunday, but you're lucky to find me posting because there are many days when I'm just too busy. Today I wanted to share with you a Big Event: Blog-Blond Lost Her Blog-virginity...and on purpose! (Seductive, sneaky Smile!) Want the details? Sure you do! THE Blog-Blond selected her favorite cartoonist known as The Stik to be the first one she battled in a Battle of the Blogs on Blog Explosion...knowing full-well that Stik would win. I figured if I was going to loose my blog-viriginity, I might as well do it with the famous, right? Another reason-- where else could I get a post header such as the one above: Stik Stuck It To Me? Third reason: it only cost me 58 credits! Where else could I buy that kind of publicity and shameless self-promotion?Some bloggers on Blog Explosion Battle of the Blogs pride themselves on being the Biggest Loser like Chris Hamburger for example. He rants about losing, but I sense that's a feeble rant. He's c


You Can Take This To The Bank
1970-01-01 00:59:59
Class called to order! Now Listen Up! I have news that you want to pay close attention to. It has been reported in the New York Times (read the story here)that "one of Hollywood's top five talent agencies have created an online unit devoted to scouting out up-and-coming creators of Internet content--particulary video--and finding work for them in Web-based advertising and entertainment, as well as in the older media."United Talent Agency isn't just looking for video talent...they're looking for blogging talent, and that could be you! Yes, you with the Doritos bag in one hand and a beer in the other reading my post. Have you been posting anything of merit on your blogs? Or have you been half-a***** it & whining again in your posts? If so, then it's time to get your a** in gear, for the opportunity may soon present itself to you to get a paying gig. The article quotes John Moshay, head of business development for Whittman Hart, an interactive advertising agency, "...we're at a tippi


Revolt of The Spiders
1970-01-01 00:59:59
Class called to order! Listen Up! I want to speak about serious matters today. Here's what I think is happening over at Technorati: the spiders have revolted and aren't doing their jobs anymore. I have informed Technorati that they haven't updated certain of my blogs, but NO REPLY. I think it's because the folks at Technorati don't know what to do about their revolting spiders. Perhaps the spiders got ahold of some drugs. It's entirely possible. Look at the webs at Cannabis. As you can see, these webs are pretty messy, not at all like normal high-designer symmetrical webs most spiders weave who haven't been fed drugs. Why would some 'freak' feed spiders drugs is beyond me, but as you know, scientists are sometimes way freaky! Check out the Einstein email on my Blog Blond Media Center!In any event, perhaps one of these aberrant scientists slipped drugs to the spiders at Technorati because Technorati isn't showing my different blogs updated --even though I update most of them e


Shopping For New Blogwear
1970-01-01 00:59:59
Class called to order! As you can see, the Blog-Blond Blog has a FABULOUS new look, thanks to the artistry of La Luna of Luna's Templates! She gave me what I wanted and more: three columns instead of two! She rolled up those straggly links and organized everything! Now that I've got this spiffed-up blog, I've been thinking I need NEW blog attire to wear while I'm blogging. You know how it goes--one thing leads to another!So I've been doing a little online shopping at places like Bluefly, Intrends, Fashion Chateau, eBay and Amazon amongst others. Oy vey! Online shopping is so awesome I could spend all day shopping!However, I often become disoriented and confused because I can't remember where I saw what! Lucky for me/us, Mozilla Firefox has this nifty new tool you can download for free and add to your toolbar called StyleFeeder. If you like something, you just add it to your (already downloaded) Stylefeeder. It's "like a giant wish list for the whole internet". And you know what
Read more: Shopping

I'm Back With More Blog Awards!
1970-01-01 00:59:59
Can you believe it? I haven't posted in ages because I fell down the deep rabbit hole of BLOGS! And what a very deep hole it is! One blog led to another blog and then to another--a maze of ever more beguiling blogs offering amazing information, education, insights, and humor! Climbing out of this blog-hole (worse by far than any man hole!)has taken me like forever--as you may have noticed--then again, maybe not. You've probably been very naughty in my absence as I would expect that from you. You have to be naughty for me, right? In any event, I have lots to share with you today.Before I begin anew with another installment of Blog-Blond Best of Blogs Awards , I want to point out two nifty items in my sidebar. Check out the phone. Plusmo is the place to go if you want one of your own. This way others can download your blog right on their cell.The second item I added is Sonific. I compared it to Best Audio Codes, and I prefer Sonific. I found an extremely racy song which I deliberated ad


Happy Valentine's Day!
1970-01-01 00:59:59
Click the above Message for My Valentine 's Day Card to You!
Read more: Happy

Even MORE Blog-Blond Awards & Gossip
1970-01-01 00:59:59
Photo: Charles PfeilYooohoooo Class, I'm back! (Cue music from Jaws) Yes, I've been on another LONG journey within the massive Blogosphere. I've taken tons of notes (lost them probably five times), scoped-out a gadzillion blogs (some of you may have seen my photo in your sidebar via MyBlogLog), left brief comments (ok, one LONG one!), and have juicy blog gossip to share with you today.Before I hand out more Blog-Blond Awards , I want you to know I wasn't serious when I posted the Valentine on my last post. BECAUSE I DO MISS YOU! I don't know what got into me! Smile! You all rock! Especially Mushy!I want to fill you in on the controversial 2,000 bloggers project. If any of my astute students wish to add to my version, please feel free to make a comment-- even though your blondalicious teacher attempts to get things right, sometimes (rarely) I'm wrong. With that said, here's my (somewhat skewed) version of what came down:Tino Buntic had a brilliant idea one day while petting his ca
Read more: Gossip

Blogging The Oscar Buzz
1970-01-01 00:59:59
Have you caught the Oscar buzz yet? Ya know, it's TOMORROW! Listen up! It's very WISE to blog about current affairs, and NOTHING is quite as BIG as the Oscar Circus! So get your blogging butts in gear and start blogging about this subject. Why? Cause I told you to! Isn't that what parents and teachers always say? (How boring I KNOW!) If you truly despise the Oscars, blog about that! Leave me the link to your post, and I will award the best one a Shout Out!Have you entered the Oscars sweepstakes yet? You still have time (but not much!) if you read this post in time! Here's the link: Oscars Naturally I've chosen my favs of the nominees for the sweepstakes grand prize. I like to get IN everything. Wink! Isn't the rockin' little Bubblesnaps photo tool fun? It's just one of many new blog toys I've been discovering and playing with, and when I return from the Oscars, I'll post about these red-hot widgets and computer toys.And have you've noticed the Spicy page on my right sideba
Read more: Blogging

Oscars Preview
1970-01-01 00:59:59
So I'm here in Hollyweird and hanging out with Ellen and her posse brainstorming some last minute quips for her opening monologue at the 79th Oscars TODAY! While putzing around with some photos of her and Oscar, I came up with this delightful collage. Hint: it has something to do with something. Did ya get that? If not, you will. Here's another hint for you lamebrains: Ellen likes to dance right? Who else likes to dance?We've been trying to figure out which suit she should wear. Black---or white? Or black AND white? Decisions, decisions! It's a tough call, and maybe she'll end up wearing all three.We've been placing our bets on the winners. Of course, I always go for the underdog (because I'm a softie in some ways, but don't get any ideas!). So everyone thinks Little Miss Sunshine or Babel will win, right? What is the least likely one to win? Why that would be Letters From Iwo Jima! So I'm going against the grain, against trends, and I've got my monies riding on the dark hors
Read more: Preview

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