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When A Raise Is A Wedgie
1970-01-01 00:59:59
These cartoons came from a variety of places. There have been too many times management didn't give out raises because budgets were just too tight. We grumbled a bit but didn't say too much, except for the times they got bonuses anyway. That stunk.But one time we got a nice letter saying how bad things were and how sorry management felt that we weren't getting raises. I made a note but couldn't figure out how to put it into a cartoon. Then I visited a small town where they had a big rodeo. I was listening to some of the cowboys who ran the rodeo talk about it the next morning. One of the bull-riders had been hurt when he fell off, but had drug himself to the side and sat there for quite a while before anyone noticed him. They said they felt really bad, and then someone popped up: "but not as bad as the cowboy."I connected it with how management felt about our raises being cancelled and out popped this comic strip.The next toon is with Slider getting his raise. It was pitif


Open Mouth - Insert Foot - Don't Bite!
1970-01-01 00:59:59
Well, everyone knows someone who puts their foot in their mouth occasionally. None of us do it ourselves (of course!)Actually, it was my dear sister-in-law describing a certain person she knows who makes a habit of contradicting himself. On this occasion he did it worse than usual and came away with a ton of verguenza (embarassment). She said he bit his foot clear off.It hurts! Ribet.Check it out at Foot In Mouth CartoonToady's Office Humor Comic Strip


I Know Why I'm Having A Bad Day
1970-01-01 00:59:59
This was a favorite line in one of the departments I worked in. Whenever someone was having a bad day, we told the victim he or she should have gone to church on Sunday. Likewise, if something good happened we told the lucky partyit was a good thing they went, or if there was potential for a disaster we said we hoped they went. It was always good for a chuckle in a tense moment.I don't know where this originated, since they were doing it before I got to the department, but I give credit to one of my friends there. She said it before I did but we all used it sometimes. We had a lot of tense moments, but there was usually some fun to be had since the "root cause" was ALWAYS someone else. Little quips like: I hope you went to church on Sunday" helped keep things in perspective. I should note that we rarely knew, or cared, who went to church on any given Sunday. It was not a religious statement, but thought of concern for a friend in a tight situation, and a subtle acknowledgement
Read more: Having

Sheltered Shop Out-Performs The Birds
1970-01-01 00:59:59
You can guess where this came from. We ordered some silk-screened t-shirts from a local (handicapped) sheltered workshop. The came back ahead of schedule and were perfect. Someone comented that we got better work out of them than we did out of management. Someone else pitched in with a why, and I was writing. Future 'toons will be related to a local prison workshop and the chain gang labor which also worked pretty well.Click here to see Toady's cartoon about Sheltered Shops.Toady's Office Humor Comic Strip
Read more: Birds

Pay Attention or Pay the Consequences
1970-01-01 00:59:59
It was a good day, in a good week, until my dear mis-guided boss came in with a project he said would be perfect for me. We were ready to buy a new design from a new supplier. All I had to do was get engineering to sign off on some specs and order the parts.It wasn't 5 minutes before the phone rang. Engineering wanted samples. I thought they had samples; "yes, but that so-and-so who was my boss knew a week ago they were bad and hadn't ordered any more." Now they had a deadline with the customer and the product wasn't ready to approve and if I didn't get them some parts the Sr. V.P. was going to shoot all of us. (Why me?)The supplier feigned complete ignorance but managed to pull the proverbial rabbit out of their hat and after a significant amount of cursing, head knocking and grumbling we got the product approved only a few days late.I went in to see my boss but couldn't talk to him. He was on the phone discussing his hunting lease. I know where his attention was focused.
Read more: Pay Attention

Rotten Cookie
1970-01-01 00:59:59
I suppose I am the only one who ever has this problem. My computer hates me, and it does this...I was logging in to a financial site and couldn't get in. I had been in a few days earlier and knew my passwords were right, so I called the company. They told me to clean out my cookies and internet history and it would probably work. There had been a change to their site. They said my computer had saved the cookie from the last log-in and wouldn't let the new site up.I deleted my cookies and history and everything worked.So, I decided I'd had a rotten cookie!A RIBET for that one...Check it out at Rotten Cookie Computer humorlet the new site up.Toady's Office Humor Comic Strip


Decisions, Decisions, Decisions
1970-01-01 00:59:59
It doesn't matter what the decision is, we just need to know!!!It happens all the time. Gully is such a fud. He couldn't make a decision if his life depended on it! If he had a brain he'd take it out and kick it! (but he doesn't)The current problem is that we need to decide whether to use supplier A or B for this particular little electronic chip. Each supplier has it's advantages; some people like one and some the other. But it doesn't really matter. What matters is that we get parts ordered in time for production. Gully won't get blamed if we are late, we will, and he is sitting on a decision.There are several theories about why. It may be that he hopes one of the suppliers will take him golfing. It may be that he likes one better but is afraid some big bird out in production likes a different one. It may be that his girlfriend is trying to get set up as a supplier's rep for one of them. (Dumb theory; Gully never had a girlfriend that smart!) Probably it's just tha
Read more: Decisions

HALLOWEEN CARTOON - OFFICE WITCH FROM CORPORATE
1970-01-01 00:59:59
It was Halloween, October 31st, 2003. Mary was dressed as a witch. Billy was a dashing pirate with his black mustache and wavy Rhett Butler hair style. I had put out my head collection for the occasion. A very real looking shrunken head from the Jiveros of Ecuador, a carved wooden skull which I told everyone was my first boss at Corporate, and a tiny miniature toilet. Everyone was impressed with the comode.Then we got called in to a surprise meeting with someone down from Division HQ.It was a petite little blonde in a black mini-skirt with a gold chain around her waist. We'd heard of her because whe was well connected. Her father was a VP at one of our customers and played golf with some of our big birds. She had living arrangements with her boss and had been promoted regularly. She started out with a sweet and demeaning tone in telling us of a new proceedure we were to institute which we all thought stunk. We had to send her copies of certain types of transactions which she


Boss Takes A Big Bite Out Of My (Hide)!
1970-01-01 00:59:59
This happened a long time ago, I wrestled with how to make it funny. Based on feedback it is one of the better 'toons.There was one manager (Tom) who always seemed to be eating something or sucking on something when you got him on the phone. It was a bit of a gossip subject for break: "I wonder what he was sucking on today?" Or: "He must have been eating a sour pickle today; bad mood!"Then one day Twinkles was mentioning how Tom must have gotten a rock in his cookie this morning. Slider said: "No, worse than that, he got a piece of my tail." I said: "No wonder he was feeling nasty; your backside probably tastes really bad." Everyone laughed but poor Slider.Take a look at Big Bite From My TailToady's Office Humor Comic Strip


The Dartboard Of Customer Opinion
1970-01-01 00:59:59
We have one customer from the dark side. Every time we take them to dinner on the River Walk I try to get them to sit under a tree full of pigeons, but they haven't been birdied yet.One day as I was listening to their whines on the phone I started feeling like they just liked to throw darts at me because I was a defenseless target. I had this image in my mind.Only thing is, I wanted to put a dart IN me somewhere. Couldn't figure out how to make that funny. It would just hurt, like reality.Check it out at Dartboard of Customer Opinion CartoonToady's Office Humor Comic Strip


Ode To A Toad, from Square Toed Shoes
1970-01-01 00:59:59
Darling Toad... Oh darling toad of the slimy skinCould there be more to you within?I'd like to believe you are a princeBut that fairytale died for me long since!Oh darling toad all covered in wartsCould you be a prince of sorts?I can't imagine you on a shining steedBut to believe in you I feel a need!If I should deign to give you a kissWould I get warts upon my lips?Could a slime like you make my heart sing?If I'm to find out I must do this thing!*Mwah* There! The deed is done!Damn! I knew you wouldn't be one!!!Author: Andrea Da Costa - Poetry Site From Ode To A Toad Collection at Square Toed.com Uniting all the toads of the world, one amphibian at a time. The site has an Ode to a Toad section, toad links, toad products, toad collectibles, and square toed shoes (a play on words that started the site).Toady's Office Humor Comic Strip


I Work For A PEST!!!!
1970-01-01 00:59:59
It was a stupid, insignificant report. I don't know why they wanted it since no one looked at it. My cube mate was bugging me for my input. It would only take 5 minutes to get it for him, but I kept repressing the need to do so, since it was such a waste of time anyway.So today, he says, "Toady, when are you going to get me that information?" "Twinkles," I say, "Why do you keep bugging me about this rediculous garbage?"He answered: "I'm sorry to be such a pest, BUT I WORK FOR ONE AND I CAN'T GET HIM OFF MY BACK UNTIL YOU GIVE ME THIS STUPID PIECE OF INFORMATION!"I gave him the info.It wasn't funny at the time, but we had a good laugh over lunch.See the 'toon at: Work For A Pest; AAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!! Toady's Office Humor Comic Strip


The Cartoon of the Smoking Break Parrot
1970-01-01 00:59:59
It really happened...One day at smoking break, (no I, Toady was not out there) a lost soul (our "friend" Slider) was grieving for his poor, departed parrot. It seems that the parrot had died just a few days before and Slider was very sad. This was outside at some picnic tables which had been set up as a smoking area for those who insist on wasting everyone's time in such activities.So, as Slider sat there blowing smoke and gossiping with his smoking cronies, a parrot flew up. It appeared to be a friendly parrot and Slider coaxed it onto his hand. He was so excited; it was like this parrot knew he was grieving and came to calm his broken heart. He posted signs and called the radio station, but no one ever claimed the parrot so he kept it.Several of us were talking when Slider came in to tell us his great story. We were all incredulous at his good fortune. As soon as he left we stood looking at each other. Then someone had a parting quip: "Poor parrot, it will most likely die t
Read more: Cartoon , Smoking , Break , Parrot

Customers Play Ring Around The Rosie
1970-01-01 00:59:59
Back to the Customer Abuse Zone. We take such good care of our customers and they act like they own us, which they do. But sometimes they really get on my nerves.In this case they were sending back perfectly good product. Someone in their Quality Assurance (fancy name for reject heaven) department was trying to get noticed by increasing his rejection rates. They were also having some problems at their test sites with false failures so they just sent all our parts back.Twinkles came in with a few of these good parts and says: "What kind of games are they playing at the customer?""Same as always," I told him. Poor Twink raises his eyebrows; "You know about this?""Sure," I said, "It's Ring Around The Rosie . Only our little angels call it Ring Around The Returns." Everyone withing earshot died laughing.Check it out in the Customer Abuse Zone Toady's Office Humor Comic Strip


Team Building Captain Is An Anchor
1970-01-01 00:59:59
It was a long time ago, I had a boss whose was a real low flying type who liked the glory but not the work. He went for all the flashy things and there was a new team building exercise on a boat so he signed us all up. Well, he followed the script and had us do all the dumb things to get us mingling and concentating. He was a real "prig in the gig" so we got kind of sick of him strutting around giving orders.Of course, when the going got tough we pushed him out of the way and met our goals and had a great time of it. The memorable line was when we were just finishing up and the boss was not around. There were several seagull comments about his style and then we came to the part where we had to drop the anchor and finish. We had built some good rapport with each other and were feeling pretty good about the team. Someone said, "Instead of the anchor, lets drop our captain." Then Twinkles added: "Yeah, he's more like an anchor anyway."After that we added anchor jokes to our seagu
Read more: Building , Captain , Team Building

Too Tense? It could be worse...
1970-01-01 00:59:59
It was Ms. Liz who one day uttered: "I'm just too tense today."I popped over the cube wall: "Are you going to be 3 wigwams tomorrow?"In case you still don't get it, tense/tents are like tepees. Technically there are major differences and I must beg license from my distant Native American ancestors for comparing the two, but it made a great joke.Liz was able to laugh and loosen up. Slider didn't get it until someone explained it to him and he was so disgusted he took an extra smoking break. (Sent some smoke signals I suppose.)Two Tents Today It may not appear in the archives.Toady's Office Humor Comic Strip
Read more: Tense

BRAINS? Scrambled, Fried, or Just MIA
1970-01-01 00:59:59
You never know. Is it one of those days when you just can't put two good thoughts together ( like trying to write something that makes sense right now!) Or is your brain really fired up and in full scale production of what might be good thoughts, only to find out you were on the wrong track.Life is tough when you're a toad!Brain Scramble Not in archives...Toady's Office Humor Comic Strip
Read more: Fried

Circular File Method Of Management
1970-01-01 00:59:59
This 'toon shows our me, Toady, seated in front of a big seagull who is at his desk with some stacks of paper in front of him. It seems that Toady had given him a project which the bird can't find. Toady knows the guy threw it away because he uses the "circular file" method.This is based on stark bureau-crazy reality. The bird is a VP and one of the better ones I ever associated with. People used to get so frustrated because they would track things to him but he would not have them and not recall them. What we figured out is that he put everything in one of three stacks on his desk. Each day the stacks moved to the left and the oldest went straight into the garbage. If no one came by to follow-up on a given piece of paper it simply disappeared. Anything routed for a series of signitures was particularly vulnerable. Of course, he just gave you the dumb/lost look if you asked him about something.Kind of makes you want to scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Circular File Method * This too
Read more: Management

Toad Cartoon
1970-01-01 00:59:59
I should probably just appologize for ever putting this one in. It is an original joke, kind of a premutation on the old: "what's black and white and red all over..." joke.Told in the right sequence of elephant jokes this can be funny too. I hop you think it is. It's a clean joke, anyway. Not the kind a manager would tell at lunch. Toad's Green And White & Hops Cartoon Toady's Office Humor Comic Strip


Layoff or Lay Off, It Never Makes Sense
1970-01-01 00:59:59
Management says it makes cents. Having been through many layoffs, it seemed that in 3 or 4 months we were out looking for more people. I know, cause I was in recruiting and they pulled all openings at a layoff announcement, then didn't fill them but laid off a few people, then we started looking again real soon.Ugh, lets not get stuck on the negatives. I recall a woman from AT&T did a paper in grad school about how not to do a layoff. She was kept on and if she is still there is now part of SBC AT&T and probably worried about it again.The first cartoon at Layoff Cartoons is about management not getting laid off. It seems like it was not usually management that got hit, just the workers. And they lost so much productivity worrying about the layoff, then they could justify hiring more managers. Obviously they needed more leadership so they wouldn't have to do another layoff. With over 1000 VP's making a minimum of 1/4 mil per year, you wonder why they don't start at the top
Read more: Sense

Is your bonus like a cartoon?
1970-01-01 00:59:59
Yep, These cartoons are both based on reality. The Swell Company, about 50 miles up the road and a recent raider of some of our good employees, announced their bonus. It ammounted to several thousand dollars and a free computer to most of their employees. Boy were we jealous of everyone who had left us. Then one our customers announced a layoff. We knew they were in trouble so that wasn't a surprise. It didn't really make anyone feel better.Now there were a number of years that our big birds tried to make the bonus based on some kind of performance. I should say that they always had that stated target. But everyone knew that the objectives were somewhat subjective and if there wasn't enough flexibility in the goals there certainly was in the financial measuring process. And everyone knows that 2+2=5 if the corporate bean counters say so.So, one year we knew that the performance to goal was incredible, and figured that the bonus would be great. But itwas late. Now why woul


One Face To The Customer?
1970-01-01 00:59:59
Yes, we actually paid some bright bureaucrat at corporate headquarters to put together a whole class on "One Face To The Customer ." At least it was interesting and well presented. We wondered about educating 500 people for 4 hours each on a concept that seemed rather straight forward, but training folk need jobs too. If the cost was 50$ per hour or $200 each, that's only $100K. Now if you consider the plant produced $1M per day and we took out 1/2 day of productivity it gets a little more expensive, but a little extra work will make up for that, and management doesn't have to sweat our extra hours.So enough rambling...When we were discussing the course among ourselves I asked Twinkles what the customer might think if their "one face" was that of our boss. He agreed that might be a problem, but said it would depend on which of his many faces they saw. Slider was there and he pulled the ugliest face he could make (pretty ugly) and said he likes to keep his "one face" face for the


Babysitting Your Boss
1970-01-01 00:59:59
One of the engineers, Deano, was very frustrated: "All I do is follow my boss around and clean up his mistakes! Babysitting is not part of my job description!" It was about 4:00 in the afternoon and my sweetheart called to see if I would stop at the store on the way home. "Please pick up some diapers and wipes for the baby," she said.So I asked Deano if he would like me to pick some up for his boss. He was delighted.See the cartoon version at Babysitting The Boss Cartoon Toady's Office Humor Comic Strip


Mother's Day Cartoon
1970-01-01 00:59:59
I never know whether to do a holiday cartoon dedicated srtictly to the holiday, or to try and mix the office perspective. Sometimes I do one, sometimes the other.I was working on the fowl mouth thing a few weeks back and decided it would work for Mother's Day. My mother thought it was a funny approach so I went ahead and developed it.I have found that when language gets fowl (I know; "foul" is correct spelling here, but "fowl" at Work R Fun has special meaning.) it is best not to complain. However, a few choice complements about a person's vocabulary always get the language to tone down.I have used a few, like:"Your mother would be proud of your extensive vocabulary." "Were you a sailor in your former life?" "No, why?" "You have a sailor's knack with words." "Could you teach me how to talk so effectively?""If you talk like that when the boss comes by I'm sure she'll be impressed."Toads mostly just use ribets! But ribets are not fowl or foul.Hooray!!!!!!See Toady's contrib
Read more: Cartoon

Fast Car Passes Gas Stations -NOT
1970-01-01 00:59:59
'Toon shows me with a new car which isn't happy that it can pass everything on the road except the gas stations.That's not quite how it happened...Twinkles was talking to some big-buck manager one day. The bird had just purchased a new hot rod which was absolutely the type of car young boys dream of having. It was everything. Fast and sleek and hot. They went out to the reserved parking place and the manager commented that it would pass everything on the road.The punch line came when Twinkles told me about passing everything on the road. I said: "I bet it doesn't pass the gas stations." Everyone thought that was a funny one for our high rolling management friend. When it was repeated to him he didn't even crack a smile. He said it hit close to home.Fast Car Passes (no) Gas * May not still be in the archives.Toady's Office Humor Comic Strip
Read more: Stations

Twice Weekly Toon - Free to Your Site
2007-03-02 17:28:00
Would you like a cartoon on your site? One that changed constantly and gave viewers a chuckle?This one can be had by going to Free Site Cartoon. Toady's Office Humor Comic Strip
Read more: Twice , Weekly

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