Owner: Sarcastic Mom URL:http://www.sarcasticmom.com Join Date: Sun, 09 Dec 2007 16:34:37 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: I'm a sarcastic mom ready to share my views on the simultaneous joy and hell of being a new mommy, a wife, and living my life in general. Anything's game. Getting offended is a possibility. Laughing is required.
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Fit me for my straightjacket, please. 2007-12-11 15:18:25 So, halfway through today I noticed my comments have stopped being e-mailed to me.
I am officially SICK TO DEATH of bugs.
Is anyone else with a self-hosted wordpress blog having this issue today?
*jams pencil into eye*
Here’s Your Chance 2007-12-10 23:50:56
I’ve been pretty busy this week and I’m seriously behind on my blog reading. It wasn’t until today that I read this post at Daring Young Mom, and my heart goes out to the victims.
No. More than that. My heart aches, it seizes up, it trembles.
I can close my eyes and mentally picture my entire home covered in mud. Everything ruined. A little blonde haired boy stands in the middle of the room I picture, smeared with mud, looking for his paci. My lip quivers as I truly empathize with these people.
Please - read the entire post. If you can, please help. We beings who live and breathe, work and love on this earth can do nothing better than love one another in a practical way whenever there is opportunity to do so; whenever there is need, and we are capable. Often we get too rushed, too tied up, to see those opportunities. Slow down for a minute and look. Show your Humanity.
PS: If you can’t afford to make a donation, you could always post
You can slap me around if you want to. 2007-12-10 19:35:45 9:15PM, CST: UPDATE! I will NOT be dicking around with anything, so no worries! And put yo’ slappin’ hand away!
AND, have I mentioned how much I LOVE Le Binky Bitch? SHE ROCKS.
So, this is a HUGE APOLOGY to everyone who has already changed their subscriptions for me. It was SO VERY, VERY NICE of you who have done that to do it for me.
But I am going to be messing with my feedburner feed address in just a little while, and if I do what I think I’m going to do, you will have to re-subscribe AGAIN.
I KNOW, I KNOW! I suck! But please, please bear with me while I figure all this stuff out. Some things have occurred to me tonight that didn’t occur to me yesterday, because I’m sometimes, well, an idiot.
If I do change it, you will have to come to the site via the address and resubscribe. PLEASE!
And like I said, you can slap me around if you want to.
I might actually kind of like it though.
Mexican Gone Wild 2007-12-10 16:47:13 The dog has clearly gone nuts.
It is contagious, so Braden launches his submarine and then dives out of the bathtub.
Read more:Mexican
Help, The TV Retarded My Baby! 2007-12-10 01:02:47 I recently read a True Mom Confession on Sweetney.com about letting infants/toddlers watch television, and it reminded me of this post that I published way back on August 16. I decided I’d dust it off and bring it over here, where I have many different and new readers, to get some fresh comments on the topic, because I’m really interested in what people think.
What do you guys think about this whole tv business? What do you do with your kids?
***********************************
August 16, 2007
Recipe for Disorders?
So, I’ve been thinking a lot about this whole no TV for babies thing. I’ve been worrying and feeling guilty about it. You know, The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends absolutely no TV exposure at all for children under 24 months of age. I knew this, in fact, before I had Braden, because I read a CRAPLOAD of books, magazines, pamphlets, online resources, etc., about pregnancy & babies. However, I decided it was bullcrap, to put it bl Read more:Retarded
Shazam! 2007-12-09 17:29:32 Well, here I am at my self-hosted, Wordpress blog!
People, I am already LOVING IT.
HUGE thanks to:
Anthony Baggett at Antbag.com (designer of this template, and generally cool guy)
Veronica at Sleepless Nights (I owe her a boff for all her help)
Dawn at Alex Year One (puts up with my endless emails, and offers lots of ideas and suggestions)
Jennifer at Playgroups Are No Place For Children (gave me some great tips and support)
All of these people had to put up with hearing from me way too many times in the past couple of days, and all of them were incredibly nice to me about it. They all made suggestions and helped me in different ways, and I love them for it!
TIME TO BEG.
Please, oh please… ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease help me gain back my lost linky love! I am shamelessly begging you to make me feel loved all over again!
Please:
*subscribe to my new feed!
*update your current Sarcastic Mom links with the new address: www.sarcast
Weekly Winners 2007-12-09 00:13:00
December 2nd - December 8th
Come On, Get Happy….
Whispy
A Plumber In The Making
Pill Popper
Me Like Shiny
Mexican Santa Knows If You’ve Been Good Or Bad
How The Grinch Stole Cuteness
As Always, Even if you’re not “participating,” COMMENTERS ARE STILL LOVED!
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Now That’s Long! That’s What She Said. 2007-12-08 02:09:00
Theme for December 8th, 2007: “Long.”
Long as in, this picture was taken a LONG time ago, my hair sure was LONG, and awww, why the long face, Loter?
Haiku Blah Blah 2007-12-07 09:30:00
Feeling too gloomyTo post with any substancePlease forgive me, guys.
Read more:Haiku
The Beginning of The End 2007-12-06 18:40:00 I am currently in HATE with Blogger.
I think it’s time to begin my move away from here. I’m feeling particularly whiny and upset about losing my linky love that I’ve built over the past 3 months. Maybe when I move, all of you cool and groovy cats who have linkied me will be so fine that you’ll change your linkies to suit my new address.
Just maybe you will.
A girl can dream.
"The Scours" 2007-12-21 17:17:30
So, food poisening
Was mine, all mine, all Thursday.
Still feeling weak.
From seven A.M.
Until late into the night
I struggled with pain.
John calls it “The Scours”
When exploding at both ends.
I am very “scoured.”
Dads Rule 2007-12-20 00:01:26
Since I’ve been flitting around - okay, stomping and smashing my way foolishly throughout - this cool bloggy world on the internet, I’ve learned that there are LOTS of Mommy bloggers. And we are kind of all over the golly place. We strive to shoot from the hip, be cool, funny and tell it like it is! We want to be honest, fun, and sincere. We want to get the message out to everyone what our experience is like. We’re all, “this sux, but I <3 it!” Some of us stay at home, some of us work… some have just one (that’s a handful!) and some have multiples.  We all hope to be unique - if that’s still possible with so many of us crowding around the table lately. ;-) And every one of us (come on, admit it) hope that we reach (lots of) others who can identify with our writings, and enjoy them.
You know what else I’ve discovered? There are some amazing Dads blogging out there, too. I mean REALLY amazing.
Let me tell you
OMG, What Happened To My Taint!?? 2007-12-19 00:01:29
From my bathroom cabinet:
Now THAT’S a serious hygienic personal wipe.
GO VOTE FOR MY CAPTION!
Prove your love… 2007-12-18 22:15:40 “…got to prove your love… if you want to be with me tonight!”
(If you understood that, you are old like me.)
My Fabulous friend, the Wonderful Mrs. Fussypants, is having a caption contest!
Show me how much you love me by going over there and voting for my caption!
Seriously! This is your chance to make sure I get a piece of her awesome hand-made jewelry!Â
And, you know, if you “buy” me jewelry, I’ll be forced to put out.
Updated to add: Of course, if you think one of the other captions is better, please vote for that one instead. But just vote! And check out the rest of Fussy’s page and her jewelry designs! She rocks.
Read more:Prove
I am way cooler than Mommy. 2007-12-18 00:01:08 That’s right, peoples. This is Braden James. It’s been awhile since I’ve hijacked Mommy
’s super-silly-space to talk to you internetz. I see that she has made some improvements. She is still blabbing on and on, though. *sigh*
You are lucky I am here to save you from her for a day. At least she spends a lot of time talking about ME, which is excellent. And if you like that, this will be right up your alley.
If you don’t like that, you are OBVIOUSLYÂ slightly retarded.
Kim tagged me for a Meme, where I’m supposed to tell 8 things about myself, and then tag 8 others to do the same. There are really way more than 8 things that you should know about me, but for now, I’ll just stick to 8, since the doggie is way more fun to play with than you guys, and he’s waiting for me.
1. When I came out of Mommy, I broke the umbilical cord myself. Daddy wanted to cut it, but see, that was between me and Mommy, and I wanted her to know the Read more:cooler
Weekly Winners, D9-D15 2007-12-16 00:01:48
December 9th - December 15th
Me in The Bells
Serenity
Wind in His Hair
Mirrors to His Soul
Cheesy Mac Night
Jumpin’ Jacks In The Sky
Smile in His Eyes
Neener, Neener
Yup. It’s a Spout.
So, what’d ya think of my week?
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My Wiggle Bean 2007-12-15 00:01:07
Theme for December 15th, 2007: “Small”
March, 21 2006. The first time we ever saw Braden James Carroll. And he was, indeed, very small - about an inch long. The picture says,”9 weeks, 2 days.” That is actually the time since the start of the last period I had had at the time. It had actually been 7 weeks and 2 days since Braden had been conceived.
He was not even a full 2 months old. Just 7 weeks. And his little heart was beating. I saw it.
Seeing my son for the first time since I had learned that he was alive inside of me was an experience which sparked a feeling in me that I cannot find the words to describe. Such emotion washed over me as to literally take my breath away. It was something like having a part of your brain and your soul that was dead for your whole life just suddenly awakening and coming to life.
He did a little wiggly, squirmy dance for us while we were looking at him. From that day on, we called him “Wiggle Bean.”
I thank God
Nice Guy vs. Crazy Crotch Lady 2007-12-14 17:33:29 A few quick notes:
Picked up the bow for John’s Christmas present today.
To the woman who saw me “trying it on,” I am sorry you had to see that. Also, I am sorry your kids saw that, too, because I am sure they asked you, “Why was that lady holding a bow up to her privates?” And it’s not like you needed ONE MORE question to answer from the kids.
To the man who ran all the way from the register to where my quick walkin’ booty had gotten by then, thank you SO MUCH for bringing me the two bags of groceries that I paid for and almost completely lost. You reminded me that there are still nice people in the world. Rock on, Mr. Running With Bags Man. I love you.
That is all.
Read more:Crazy
Then you put your junk in that box. 2007-12-14 00:01:01
The current budget
here at the Carroll houshold
may result in this.
Suppose my version
will have to be something like
Cooch under a bow?
[Edited: Um, about the suggestions on putting my ‘box in a box.’ I’m wondering how you put something concave into a box? *scratches head* If you can do that, I’m scared of your vagina, yo. I’m stickin’ with the bow, ya’ll.]
PS: A belated thanks to Bill Gathen for reminding me of this video last night. Yes, Bill, you are the inspiration, the meaning, in my life. *chuckle*
Merry Crotchmas 2007-12-25 22:13:46 Keepin it light, so I’ll give you a brief tour of our Christmas with pictures.
A taste of Christmas Eve Activities.
An idea of how spoiled Braden is.
Breakfast.
Test Drive!
Fire Engine Siren Testing.
Tootsie Adoration Moment.
Taking a Break.
The Posse Ventures Outside.
After that, Momma’s trigger finger kind of went numb.
This was the best Christmas I can remember in a long, long time. Having a child really brings the magic back to the day. I think he had a lot of fun today. I know I sure did. He’s fast asleep and I look fondly at these pictures now. I hope your day was as great as ours was.
Oh, and John still has one more present to unwrap…
Merry
Crotchmas!
Just say NO! to Santa Hats 2007-12-24 20:54:27 Night before Christmas pictures…
This kid is seriously opposed to hats.
Taking Santa
hat off.
Throwing it at me.
Being cute. Aren’t his Christmas PJs spiffy?
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!
I like to bring out my balls. 2007-12-24 10:22:32 Tell us about your balls, Pete.
*
Merry Christmas to you all, my friends.Â
May you all enjoy such wonders as Schweatty Balls this season.
Weekly Winners, D16-D22 2007-12-23 00:01:20
December 16th - December 22nd
Day Moon
Berry Bush Leaves
Always On The Floor
Cool Mist
Deranged Madman
My Favorite Trees
Insane Sky
Me
My Own Personal Rudolph
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
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Lotus Update, AKA Whining 2007-12-22 18:37:37 It has been a rough week for me, guys. I’ve been sick since early Thursday morning, and I am STILL not well. It was food poisening, of my own stupid design. I was working with raw chicken on Wednesday night, and I think I probably got some contamination sickness. I’m usually very careful, so this just sucked big time. In the past 3 days, I have consumed 1.5 bananas, half a piece of peanut butter bread, a bit of milk, a few bites of salad, a few wedge fries, and lots of gatorade. If I’m not a svelt 135 lbs by Christmas, I’m complaining to SOMEONE. Heh.
Had a gyno appointment on Friday, which wasn’t horrible, but it’s not the favorite activity of my life.  Finally also had some blood work done to check up on my thyroid. I have a confession to make, and that is that I have some rather poopy health issues that I have not been sharing with the blogosphere very much. I was diagnosed with Goiter and  Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis i Read more:Lotus
, Update
My Dear, Er, Deer. 2007-12-22 00:01:13
Theme for December 22nd, 2007: “Light”
Since I haven’t posted any pictures of our Christmas Light Decorations, I couldn’t resist the chance to do it now. This animatronic deer is my favorite part of our setup. Notice how I changed the bulb near his nose from a white to a red bulb.
Cause I’m cool like dat.
The rest of the story… 2008-03-14 00:02:09 This past week has been
very long and so tiring.
There is much to tell.
To make long story
short, please read this post and then
come back and finish.
Okay. Now you know
the heart of the mold problem.
And you are outraged?
Asked to terminate
lease last Friday, but we were
ignored all week long.
We figured that we
will leave here no matter what;
need a [...]
Weekly Winners Mar9 - Mar15 2008-03-16 00:01:52 March 9th - March 15th
If you dig my photos, I’d appreciate your vote.
His Smooshy Lips
The Crooked Truth
Peekaboo!
I Can’t Eat Things Off The Ground!??
Delicate Beauty
A New Season Is Arriving
All WeeklyWinners
Posts
Check out my Re-Vamped Photo Sites:
All Lotus, All The Time
A Braden A Day
Weekly Winners Mar16 - Mar22 2008-03-23 00:01:55 March 16th - March 22nd
Do you dig my photos? I need more votes! Click below, PLEASE!
It has been one HELL of a week, guys! And we are still in moving/storing/unpacking/sorting hell. And moving with a (sick) toddler? The icing on the Poop-Cake, my friends. Ahhh. But it is SO good to be out of “Mold [...] Read more:Weekly
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