Owner: Sarcastic Mom URL:http://www.sarcasticmom.com Join Date: Sun, 09 Dec 2007 16:34:37 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: I'm a sarcastic mom ready to share my views on the simultaneous joy and hell of being a new mommy, a wife, and living my life in general. Anything's game. Getting offended is a possibility. Laughing is required.
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I guess I should go look up ole’ Baldie. 2008-03-27 00:01:32 When I posted about how Braden ventured to improve the (obviously) drab paintjob in our new rental home yesterday, I got a RESOUNDING response in comments:
“BUY THE FRIGGIN’ MR. CLEAN MAGIC ERASER. REALLY. BUY IT OR WE’LL RAPE YOU WITH A BROOM HANDLE, YOU IDIOT!”
Okay, so I added that last thingie. But just mostly because I’m [...]
Because Monsters are assholes. 2008-03-29 11:42:10 The anniversary yesterday was lovely, and I thank you all for your lovely words and wishes on the post.
The only crappy thing about the past couple of days is that I’m having a wicked arthritis flare-up, my upper back and neck are a mess of pain (don’t make me turn my head or [...]
A decidedly different post than this past Friday’s. 2008-04-01 01:52:31 I am sitting here, at my computer, with my brow furrowed, writing.
It is 1:18 am.
About 30 minutes ago, and after struggling fitfully for some time, my eyes opened wide (imagine the cartoon sound-mixture of breaking glass and squealing brass horns, and picture red veins in my eyes) and I gave up trying to go back to sleep [...] Read more:different
, Friday
Weekly Winners Mar30 - Ap5 2008-04-06 00:01:04 March 30th - April 5th
Guitar & A Smile - All Ya Really Need
Soft, Resting, Sleepy Lashes
>
On a Platter
A Delighted Squeal
Weeds Are Fun Sometimes
She Was So Restless
Love Between Mother & Daughter
A Stolen Moment
Soapy Cuteness
The Lovely Underside
All WeeklyWinners
Posts
Check out my Photo Sites:
All Lotus, All The Time
A Braden A Day
Coming soon… My Nature Photos Site! Stay tuned. [...]
You would scream, too, if you had to live with me. 2008-04-08 00:01:12 I do the most horrible things to my son. I do things that make him scream in anger and cry his heart out.
Like taking the potty insert away after he’s peed in it without letting him splash in and play with his pee.
And offering him his play cell-phone back after he handed it to me.
And making [...]
Do you think this will mentally scar him? 2008-04-09 00:01:46 *
My kid is clearly beautiful… and feminine.
Really… If you didn’t know… would you know?
Cause, apparently, even when he looks like this?
People don’t know.
“I love her shirt!”
“Really? I love his penis. Cause it’s right between his legs. Where penises grow. On boys.”
PS: At least I didn’t paint his fingernails pink, so leave me alone.
Next time, though, [...] Read more:think
Because I’m long-winded, even in Haiku. Geez. 2008-04-11 00:01:03 [Written Thursday night.]
Ugh, I am so beat.
It was a very long day.
So ready to crash.
[Please ignore my zit.
Stop looking at it, I said!
My skin is ‘teh suck.’]
This afternoon, John
left for the road once again.
Only home two days.
But, you know, at least
he was home for those two days,
and we had some time.
On [...] Read more:Haiku
I just won’t shut up about it, I know. 2008-04-15 00:01:07 Yup, it’s another long one, folks.
While I was writing this post the other day, my thoughts kept reaching further and expanding and dividing and growing.
I want to take a moment, first, to make sure you all realize that I did not mean to put down working parents at all. What they do is just as much [...]
I never did like odd numbers. 2008-04-21 00:01:11 Every Sunday when I post my Weekly Winners, it is my full intention to share with you all my favorites out of all the pictures I’ve taken the previous week. And normally, I do.
It seems, however, that yesterday I left out a picture.
I left out my very FAVORITE photo that I took all week, in [...]
Where I go on and on about baby making and blahblahblah… 2008-04-22 00:01:24 So, if you read yesterday’s post, you know that I am pregnant. *smirky face bursting with happiness*
Or, as John enjoys saying, “I banged you and got you knocked up!”
Either way.
A few of you have asked if we were trying. The answer to that is actually both yes and no.
See, when I got pregnant with Braden, we were [...] Read more:making
They reflect times we may have forgotten. 2008-04-26 00:01:35 Kids, that is.
I’ve been spending more and more time with my son outside lately, as the weather has improved steadily.
I love being outside in the warmth and the sunshine. It makes me feel alive in a way that nothing else does. In Spring, it is especially enjoyable. I can look around and see the green [...] Read more:reflect
Holding On To Hurt 2008-04-28 03:01:41 The other day I watched some ridiculously random, stupid movie: 13 Going On 30.
And I cried.
Wait. I cried more than once.
And what’s really pissing me off about that is that I was crying because I thought of my Swan.
I’ve been carrying a hurt in my heart for some time now. The “hurt” is a residual effect of an event that transpired [...]
Young Punks Drawing Results 2008-04-28 00:01:05 The lucky winner of the Young Punks T-shirt Giveaway chosen by the Random Number Generator is “kelli” who said her favorite was the Classic Smiley.
Congratulations!
kelli, Please e-mail me at thelotuscarroll@gmail.com and we’ll get the ball rolling on getting your shirt to you.
And if you didn’t win… well, why are you still here instead of over at [...]
Don’t take a pass on love. 2008-04-29 00:01:57 It was August 2001.
I had been in Grad School for two years. In 1999, I arrived on the campus of Wake Forest University with a full scholarship and a fantastic, freaking gleam in my eye. Beaming with pride and excitement, I was ready to Get My Masters Degree On. Here I was, ready to start real research and studies [...]
Da Feet 2008-05-05 00:01:07 It’s time for a video of Da Feet, containing absolutely no agony.
In fact, this should start your Monday off with a smile. Unless you don’t love baby feet.
And really, if you don’t love baby feet, what the hell is wrong with you?
Enjoy…
Braden and the $300 Torture Appointment. 2008-05-06 00:01:14 What do you do when your kid gets rashes all the time? When he has diarrhea and cries a lot? When he has a history of food issues/possible allergies/intolerances, and you’re ripping at your hair trying to pin them down?
What do you do when you’ve tried the trials and you came to one conclusion only [...] Read more:Torture
When I hated both my vagina and my mom, simultaneously. 2008-05-10 00:01:49 I remember when I first started getting armpit hair.
I was mortified.
My mom? Was excited.
I was sitting on her bed, with my hands behind my head, all chilled out, leaning back. I can remember her noticing the armpit hair and pointing it out, smiling and gesturing. The expression on my face had to have been one of complete and total [...]
I need to find something I don’t care about so I can forcefully break it in lots of pieces. 2008-05-14 22:00:30 I just spent several hours working on my PSBN post - the one I was planning on publishing at midnight. It was almost done. I opened a new window and started working on a very emotional draft of a post about the rollercoaster of my feelings since experiencing a miscarriage.
Apparently, when VISTA decides to lock [...] Read more:something
, pieces
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