Strawberry Quick/Strawberry Meth: Talk to Your Kids
2007-05-24 12:49:12
Last Wednesday night at dinner, Dylan told us they had been talking about drugs at school. My first thought was that this would be a great opportunity to talk about drugs with him. And so we did.
We listened as he told us about the drugs they discussed. He told us the police would be coming to the school to show the various forms of drugs. He mentioned pot, heroin and cocaine.
“Did they mention meth?”
“No.”
“Did they mention Crystal? E? Ecstasy?”
“No.”
I looked at Daren. Meth is the most popular drug going right now. I KNOW Dylan is only 8 and a half, but he goes to school with kids up to Grade 8. They are mostly separated from the older kids, but I’m sure that paths cross in all sorts of places: the bathroom, auditorium, the buses. I don’t think he is too young to learn a thing or two about drugs and how to protect himself.
I dove into the conversation. I know from experience with a very close family member (who
Read more: Strawberry
, Quick
2007-05-24 06:46:05
Listen to Your Kids. An iTunes Podcast about what your kids are really thinking. Very enlightening.
Stick Humour
2007-05-24 06:39:09
My favorite is “You’ve put on weight.“
Read more: Stick
, Humour
We’re Doing a Good Job with This Offspring
2007-05-23 15:24:56
For lunch today I made bacon and tomato sandwiches for Thomas and I. When offered mayonnaise, Thomas replied, “Yes I would like manners on my sandwich, please and fank you.”
Read more: Offspring
The Jump Off Post Whereby This Blog Magically Morphs Into a House Blog
2007-05-23 07:17:09
You know how some bloggers go through things like getting married or buying a house and suddenly that’s all their blog is all about? HELP ME NOT DO THAT.
We are putting this joint up on the zee market. I’m excited as a pig in shit. I LOVE our house, but wish I turn into a giant, pick it up, and move it to a better piece of property. And add a pool. With a fence. And a wet bar. And what the hell, maybe a pool boy and a nanny.
Our house is a 4 level side split, 3 bedrooms, hardwood floors, central air, a workshop, and a recently finished family room.
What we’re going for is 4 bedrooms, a pool, a fenced yard, a finished family room, hardwood floors, central air, and a sweet kitchen. I found all of that and more yesterday, and emailed Frank, our real estate God. And by God, I mean GOD, he is gorgeous. My mother-in-law thinks so too. As we went through the process of buying this house, she joined us for some of the viewings. Her voice really carries and as we
Read more: House
May Day
2007-05-25 17:43:00
My Papa is having surgery on Wednesday, so the kids and I are heading up to spend some time with him and my Granny for the weekend. We leave in the morning.
He’s fine, he’s just having some tightening in his chest so they are doing that dye thing to see what’s up.
Thomas, Ruffy and I spent some time outside today…wanna see?
Click the Canine Shnozz:
Underneath Your Clothes….There’s a Manly Story.
2007-05-31 09:50:13
That’s what I used to think the lyrics were to that old Shakira song. If you’re a member of my family, you might as well close up the page here, because I’m about to talk about The Sex. Off you go! Yes Shannon, YOU TOO. In the words of Shrek, “Bye bye now. See you later.”
There is a fine line us women walk. I’d love to grab the edge of that line and rip it out completely. It’s that line between “being a lady” and enjoying sex. It’s such a common misconception (less now than in the past) that if a women enjoys sex, she’s a whore. Now you hear song lyrics like “I want a lady in the street but a freak in the bed.”
When I worked, I had this one client who got up TWO HOURS before her husband, just to shower and put on her makeup. This was the kind of lady who clearly used a trowel for the job, and nearly knocked me out with her perfume every time she came in. I often wondered if she ever woke up one mor
Read more: Underneath
, Clothes
, Manly
Bypass for Papa.
2007-05-30 19:52:43
Turns out my Papa has a 90% blockage in his main artery. He mowed the frigging lawn yesterday - the day before surgery. Remind me to smack him in a couple of weeks, if for nothing else but coming into the house in pale shades of grey and scaring my Granny. Granny called tonight and sounded very upbeat, but tired, and she had a headache, poor thing.
The hospital put Papa at the top of the list for the bypass and labeled him critical. The nurse told Granny they use the word critical to scare the old men because old men think they are tanks. Daren says Papa IS a tank and definitely the kind they don’t make anymore.
I’ll say.
He sat up in bed like some kind of Irish King and ate the hospital lunch all up: Shepard’s Pie. He requested a 21 year old blond nurse and a shot of whisky. Some things never change. He has always been a regular riot, surrounded by friends and laughter.
The other day when I was there, he walked up to Granny and said, “Why are your ey
Read more: Bypass
Bring The Love.
2007-05-30 16:41:44
When you click here.
Question for Ya.
2007-05-30 01:24:31
So you know I’ve lost weight. And I have more to lose. Gone from an 18 to a 12, and lost over 50 pounds. I’m finding that I’m not happy with the direction my belly is going. In talking to Daren, we concluded that surgery may be in order, to get rid of extra skin. I mean, when all is said and done, a mere few months from now, I will need to lose the skin. We’re talking about a 100 pound weight loss at the end. Not to be gross, but it’s GROSS. I feel like a floppy rooster chin is in my pants. That isn’t the cock I had in mind. Oh…bad joke…but nice deflection, no?
If you lost this amount of weight - would you get rid of the skin? Does anyone have experience to share?
Read more: Question
Better Than “Pour Some Sugar on Me.”
2007-05-29 14:59:52
This is my new favorite site. I love mashups. And I cannot stop listening to this one. And no sooner did I post this, they post a sweet mashup of Kate Bush and Pet Shop Boys. *Sob.* So good. I spent last night sending this dork lots of music and he wants more.
Men.
Always. Wanting. More.
Kaiser sent me home with 6 CDs of stuff that I didn’t have and I’m still getting through it. Among the fray: Everclear (yum, remember them?), Pagans, …And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead, Brainiac, The Decemberists, and his personal favorite (I think), Yo La Tengo.
Some of my favorite songs at the moment include (and look! I YouTube’d you up with videos where I could! WHO’S YER MAMA?):
The Rapture - Whoo! Alright - Yea…Uh Huh
Radio Birdman - Snake
Yo La Tengo - Can’t Seem To Make You Mine
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Hard to Concentrate (Oldest cousin is considering this for her first dance at her wedding!)
The Decemberists - July! July!
Gregory
Read more: Sugar
Creative Photos by Chema Madoz
2007-05-29 06:38:28
Absolutely. Amazing. Photography.
Garbage In, Garbage Out
2007-06-06 08:22:20
Our school cafeteria was enormous. For a long time in high school, it was considered uncool to hang in the cafeteria, so it was often nearly empty. The food wasn’t great. Grey comes to mind, and I never ate there. I lived in Scarborough, Ontario with my grandparents and couldn’t justify eating at McPukes across the street every day, so I brought my lunch, like most of my friends. When we weren’t in the school cafeteria, we were hanging out in the halls, outside, or sometimes in the yearbook office.
I brought my lunch because the options at school were horrendous. I think back at the crap they were slagging at us kids and shudder. While my own kids aren’t in high school yet, I have seen some changes in the school system since I was a kid. A few years ago, our school board got rid of pop machines and replaced them with juice and water machines. That was a joyous day for Dylan, as he doesn’t drink pop at all. There was talk of a milk program but I&
Read more: Garbage
I Should Take Pictures of My House Right Now
2007-06-05 07:39:28
Because dudes, it’s SO CLEAN! The real estate agent was scheduled to come at 7 last night and guess what? After sweating my balls off trying to make this house ship-shape, sorting toys, clothes, packing, scrubbing, vacuuming, dusting, washing, drying, putting-away-ing, blah blah blah, 7 o’clock came and went, 7:15, then 7:30. I called the real estate office and had him paged.
Frank is a friend of ours and thankfully as professional as he is fun. So him being late was completely fine with us (Daren was mowing the meadow lawn anyway) and also, completely uncharacteristic of him. Once he called me back, it all became clear: he had locked his keys in his Jeep. In his driveway. And didn’t have our number to call us.
After I chided him and we had a good laugh at his expense, we re-scheduled for tonight at 7, with my reasoning being that I will not be able to contain the tornado that is Thomas for much longer than that without self-medicating. As it is, the l
Read more: Pictures
, House
, Right
True Dad Confessions
2007-06-04 10:29:03
True Dad Confessions is up and running. It amazes me how many Dads do not feel appreciated, and the ones that are positive are really heartwarming.
Queen of the Hill
2007-06-04 07:33:52
Late last night we had a very abrupt power outage that interrupted my kid-free internetty-goodness and forced me to write this with PEN and PAPER. <— That first sentence alone took 12 minutes to write. I mean, does anyone write anything anymore, short of scribbling out spouse notes for Kotex, the long kind with no wings, and Good God, UNSCENTED, not those Spring Fresh pieces of shit you got last time making me smell like a goddamn nest of rabid squirrels.
Ahem.
The shittiest part about this power outage is that the whole freaking neighbourhood comes outside, Stupid Signs hanging ’round their necks, standing around like an episode of King of the Hill.
“Power’s out eh?”
“Yeah it is.”
“Wonder what’s wrong?”
“Probably the whole grid, eh?”
“Ya think?”
At which point, I’m sitting in my house, scrawling this by candlelight, whisper-yelling through my teeth at Ruffy, to shut-the-fuck-up it’s
Read more: Queen
2007-06-04 00:26:41
Red Hot Chili Peppers Mashups from Mashuptown.com. Awesome. I’d love to see Hard to Concentrate though.
The Latest Nigerian Scam: Pets
2007-06-09 20:05:52
“Lovely English bulldog puppy needing a loving and caring home, full of wrinkles, she is up to date on all her shots. Fine with kids and other pets, AKC and will come along with all her papers and toys, she will make the best house pet, will bring much love and joy to your home or family. Contact for more if you want to add her to your family.”
Read more: Nigerian
Darwin’s Theory Hard at Work
2007-06-09 12:58:25
The last three sentences of this article had me howling. Captain Obvious to the rescue!
Read more: Darwin
, Theory
Bodyslam!
2007-06-09 09:52:10
Yeah!
better. nicer. smarter. prettier.
2007-06-08 13:47:28
Yesterday, in comments, someone posted a blog entry that was written by an angry, angry, troll who sarcastically called me:
better
. nicer. smarter. prettier.
I’ve been called worse.
So lately you’ve noticed I’ve been a bit more outspoken and said what I want. What suddenly made me go from vanilla to Wild Franken Berry? I guess part of it is that I’ve changed in real life, in that, since the crazy episode, I realized that a) life is too damn short to be pussyfooting around; and b) only you can make this life the way you want it. I truly believe those things.
I recently had a tough love session with a very close friend who was having the same problems over and over, and really wasn’t doing anything about them. I’m sure depression was at play, and so I asked a lot of questions, and waited for her to get to the answers. It involved a lot of calling her out on bullshit, and she is still working through some major things, but hopefully soon she will s
Dead Horse
2007-06-07 07:19:38
So yesterday was fun wasn’t it? I love taking a simple idea and mangling it. Feeding your children healthy food? Fuck that!
I stand by what I said. Nothing is impossible. I’m not going to argue back and forth about how poor I once was, over the fact that I could do it if I was faced with it, and how I could do it better. Anyone in any situation has the power to change their situation. Period. If you honestly believe you can’t, you’re an idiot so please do me a big favor and hit the little red X at your top right. Please. If the only thing you’re good at is arguing, go into politics.
Having said that, I know I’m not aware of every policy and social program in the States. I KNOW. I said, about 6 bazillion times yesterday that I don’t have all the answers. Sue me.
Something really pissed me off about yesterday is that I got criticized for linking to VA for what? Attention? Are you serious? High school called, they want their socia
Read more: Horse
, Dead Horse
10 Bold Faced Lies?
2007-06-12 18:20:19
I’m going to post 10 things about me that may or may not be LIES. Your mission is to figure out which ones are lies and which ones are fact. (You can just post in the comments on this thread if you like.) Each day, for the next 10 days, I’ll reveal the truth to each one, and the back story if there is one.
So - TRUE OR FALSE?
1. Daren and I broke up and got back together more than 5 times during our first year of dating.
2. I asked my doctor for a hysterectomy at age 18.
3. I play the piano.
4. I’m really shy in person.
5. I LOVE country music.
6. Though I love my kids, 0-3 years are my least favorite time.
7. I started college at 17, in the nursing program.
8. I drink every day, which is why I re-named this site Vodkarella.
9. I once peed my pants in front of entire classroom of Kindergarteners.
10. I am madly in love with foods from other cultures.
WANNA PLAY? Decide whether these 10 things are TRUE or FALSE, then post your own list and link in the comme
Sweet, Sweet, Sigh of Relief
2007-06-12 12:38:47
After a triple bypass, Papa is home, and recovering.
I hope to see him very soon.
Read more: Sweet
This I Believe
2007-06-11 09:04:50
A while back, my friend Karl wrote This I Believe, and I swore I would do the same exercise, but I kept forgetting. I’m sure there are a million things I could touch on here, but I have to get something out of the way first.
I have been calling Karl, Hot Karl for some time. I heard his nickname last year before BlogHer and when I met him, it was only natural to call him this nickname bestowed upon him by God Knows Who (actually I DO know who, but I’m sure this person would rather crawl into a hole than admit this). Thing is, I didn’t know when I made the “Send Hot Karl to BlogHer” button just WHAT a Hot Karl was. This next sentence is not for the squeamish, the sane, or even something I would normally write. In fact, I’m not sure I can write it. I mean, a Hot Karl, by definition of the urbandictionary.com, is pretty disgusting.
(more…)
Passive Agressive Notes
2007-06-10 14:56:16
We all have passive-aggressive people in our lives. It’s what makes the world go round.
Read more: Passive
, Notes
High on Hype
2007-06-10 09:38:29
Last night, Daren and I were curled up with Dylan watching “Dirty Jobs” on Discovery. On the commercial break, we watched in awe as two young children walk into their home, and witness Mom’s eyes glazed over, big, toothy smile on her face, her whole body swaying back and forth with pleasure. I’m thinking Soccer Mom on Meth, but alas, no.
“Mom’s at it again!” one child exclaimed.
(more…)
Bold Faced Lies, et cetera.
2007-06-15 20:51:31
Since #3 and #5 have to do with music, I thought I’d take #4 and make a music sandwich.
So, yes I play piano, since I was 10.
Fuck no, I am not shy in person.
Yes, I hate Country Music.
I was raised on all kinds of stuff from Rock ‘n’ Roll to Reggae. My mother had a real love for female artists like Kate Bush, Cyndi Lauper, Joan Jett and Pat Benetar. Now those old favorites are in my iTunes along with Lily Allen, Bat for Lashes, Amy Winehouse, Ana DiFranco, and Leslie Feist. The kids love to sing along with me to these and so much more.
The one band that always stuck out for me was The Pretenders. My mom even kind looked like Chrissie Hynde in the 80’s, with the dark hair, bangs and heavy makeup.
Heather, Jon, Leta, Tracey, Jamie, M., RSM, Y, Amy, Rob, Schuyler, Jay, Danny, Julia, Stephanie, and even Tucker - these two videos are for you:
(more…)
Denny’s Waitress, I Heart You
2007-06-14 21:04:52
10 Reasons why you need to tip your Denny
’s Waitress
really well.
Read more: Heart
TRUE: I asked my doctor for a hysterectomy at age 18.
2007-06-14 07:12:52
Even before I had a serious relationship, I did not want kids. My mother was the only example of how I might be as a mother, and I didn’t want that for any child. At age 18, I asked my doctor how old I would have to be to make my choice permanent. She convinced me to wait until I was 25, and that if I still felt that way, to come back.
Obviously I didn’t.
Otherwise I wouldn’t shed tears every time I heard this song. I sing it to the boys all the time now. It makes me think about how hard it will be to let them go eventually. I know that is a long time from now, but time really does fly when you’re having fun, raising children, living life.
(I can’t find the original video, if one exists, so this one will have to do.)
Boats And Birds
Artist: Gregory And The Hawk
If you be my star
I’ll be your sky
you can hide underneath me and come out at night
when I turn jet black and you show off your light
I live to let you shine
I live to let you shine
b
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