Owner: Senior Citizen Humor URL:http://seniorcitizenhumor.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Sat, 20 Jan 2007 17:40:04 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: The Lighter Side of Getting Old. Funny photos, cartoons, jokes, videos, stories and much more. Young and old will appreciate. Site statistics:Click here
Awesome Coca Cola Commercial 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Commercial about an old man in a retirement home who never tasted Coca Cola before. He then imagines all the other things in his life he has never done. Funny. A must click. Any comments? Read more:Commercial
Scam Artists preying on the elderly. 1970-01-01 00:59:59 The Senate is investigating deceptive sweepstakes practices. These companies target the elderly
and make them think they will receive a bunch of money, but in reality they never see any of it. The most popular of these scams is called Social Security.MORE NEWS: Social Security System Overhauled To Provide 'Early-Death Incentives' WASHINGTON, DC—Overwhelmed by a dearth of funds and a glut of recipients, the Social Security Administration unveiled a new "Early-Death Incentives Plan" Monday. Under the terms of the program, senior citizens willing to sacrifice additional years of life will be eligible for larger payouts. Read more:Artists
Senior Citizens leading carriers of Aids. 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Government research studies show that Senior Citizens
are the nations leading carriers
of Aids! The report, published by the U.S. Administration on Aging (AoA) shows that senior citizens are the leading carriers of Hearing Aids, Band Aids, Rol Aids, Walking Aids, Medical Aids, Government Aids, and most of all, monetary aid to their kids.
65-year old woman has a baby. 1970-01-01 00:59:59 With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65-year old woman
has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the 65-year old mother says, "not yet." A little later they ask to see the baby again. Again the mother says, "not yet." Finally they say, "When can we see the baby?" And the mother says, "When the baby cries." And they ask, "Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?" The new mother says, "because I forgot where I put it."
FDA looking for generic name for Viagra. 1970-01-01 00:59:59 In pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and a generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol has a generic name of acetaminophen. Aleve is also called naproxen. Amoxil is also called amoxicillin and Advil is also called ibuprofen. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of mycoxafloppin. Also considered were mycoxafailin, mydixadrupin, mydixarizin, mydixadud, dixafix, and of course, ibepokin.
Medicare May Help Seniors Stop Smoking
Dec. 30, 2... 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Medicare May Help Seniors
Stop Smoking
Dec. 30, 2005 - The public comment period is now open on a new proposal by Medicare to provide new coverage allowing certain senior citizens covered by Medicare who smoke to receive counseling services that will help them quit the habit.
Emergency 911 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Shortly after the 911 emergency number became available in her town, an elderly and quite ill lady appeared in a hospital emergency room, having driven herself to the hospital and barely managing to stagger in from the parking lot. The horrified nurse said, "Why didn't you call the 911 number and get an ambulance?" The lady said, "My phone doesn't have an eleven." Read more:Emergency
Good advice for living longer. 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Q: I'm 65 years old. I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it ... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Golfers Live Longer 1970-01-01 00:59:59 An 80-year old man goes to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, "How do you stay in such great physical condition?" I'm a golfer," says the old guy, "and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways." Well," says the doctor, "I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your dad when he died?" "Who said my dad's dead?" The doctor is amazed. "You mean you're 80 years old and your dad's still alive. How old is he?" "He's 100 years old," says the old golfer. "In fact he golfed with me this morning, and that's why he's still alive. He's a golfer too." "Well," the doctor says, "that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your dad's dad? How old was he when he died?" "Who said my grandpa's dead?"Stunned, the doctor asks, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather is still living! Incredible, how old is he?" "He Read more:Golfers
The Elderly Tailor 1970-01-01 00:59:59 The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad new is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles." Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need... a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the busin
How's the patient in room 302? 1970-01-01 00:59:59 A sweet grandmother telephoned Mount Sinai Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient
is doing?" The operator said "I'll be glad to help, Dear. What's the name and room number?" The grandmother in her weak tremulous voice said, "Holly Finkel, room 302." The Operator replied, "Let me check. Oh, good news. Her records say that Holly is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back as normal and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged Tuesday." The Grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful! I was so worried! God bless you for the good news." The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Holly your daughter?" The Grandmother said, "No, I'm Holly Finkel in 302. No one tells me shit!"
A Good Exercise For The Elderly. 1970-01-01 00:59:59 You know how important exercise is, as we grow older. Here are a few suggestions. I start by standing outside behind the house and, with a five pound potato sack in each hand, extend my arms straight out to my sides and hold them there as long as I can. After a few weeks I moved up to 10 pound potato sacks, then 20 pound potato sacks and finally I got to where I could lift a 50 pound potato sack in each hand and hold my arms straight out for more than a full minute! Next, I started putting a few potatoes in the sacks, but I would caution you not to overdo it at this level. Read more:Exercise
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