Owner: Imaginary Binky URL:http://www.imaginarybinky.com Join Date: Fri, 30 Nov 2007 14:54:26 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: I'm a mom, a cynic, a sassy wife, and lots of other things. I write the first thoughts that spew from my head, so forgive me of my trespasses.
My blogs tend to focus on funny little moments shared with my husband The Stand-Up Comedian and our new Site statistics:Click here
The eyes of Texans are seeing my backside 2008-03-13 11:54:19 While Andy takes my baby away for a tour of the house, I am writing to you from the lovely home of my friends Allison and Andy in Austin. Yes, Amos n' Andy are together again. Har har har.Sorry to disappoint, but I am on my way home. I will likely fly to Denver tomorrow. Things just became... too much. My dad will either pull out of this or not. There is nothing I can do to sway the scales.It was a hard decision, but several outside family members, my love Phil, and friends have stepped up to say, "Sarah, enough. You don't need to kill yourself, too." Well, then. Okay. It's nice to have someone else making the decisions for a bit.So, home for Amos and me. Today, I will relax in Austin, drink coffee, admire Allison's gardens, and breathe without worrying who it affects around me. Read more:Texans
The salty wind cries... Sarah 2008-03-16 15:05:13 Okay. Here is a disclaimer, as my previous plans went awry when I thought I would be going home. I may or may not be going to the Texas coast for a couple of days. There, Fate. Are you happy now?With that disclaimer out of the way, here goes...Since my father is not going anywhere and his condition is stable and unchanged (meaning, sedated and relying on a ventilator to breathe), I am considering taking Amos down to Rockport, TX for a few days to visit with my sister. I've never been to Rockport, although Phil and I spent a great deal of time in the Corpus Christi and Port Aransas areas when we were young pups in love. Now, I have the chance to take the pup of our loins to see the ocean for the first time. How cool is that, eh?Rockport is a bayside artist colony. I want to eat on a Read more:Sarah
You crazy kids 2008-03-15 12:05:29 Haha! Thank you for your contributions yesterday. I appreciate the mirth.No need for folks to drive forever to come tend to me. I am okay. Sort of. But mostly okay. My sister is here as well, so that takes some of the burden off of me.In the meantime, Amos has discovered that he can prop up on his legs and do a crawl-walk. He uses this maneuver to try to pull himself up onto chairs, tables, and everything else that his head likes to bang into. So far over the course of two days, he has two big bruises on his forehead with another on the way. I am beginning to look like a bad mother.Maybe we should have ordered the corrective helmet for him, eh? Heheh.Back to the hospital today. Dad is still sedated and is "sleeping" every hour of the day. Oh, the fun part? He is in restraints
No sleep till Brooklyn 2008-03-14 12:54:32 Going back to San Antonio today. No news yet or updates, but that's probably because I'm delaying calling the doctor so that I don't hear one more bad thing. Avoidance, anyone?I'll be back on here eventually. How about in the meantime, you tell me stories of mirth and fun from your own life? Let's hear of joy around here. Read more:Brooklyn
Parting the sea 2008-03-18 15:15:45 Well, well. Even bad weather follows me to my seaside paradise.Tornado warnings are popping up everywhere. Funnel spotted on the ground, headed toward Port Aransas. Head to the hills, spring break kids!I'm guessing this is not the best time to take my tot to the sandy beach for fun and sun. I can hear the winds whipping around outside. The weather radio screeches occasionally, warning the locals to head for shelter and/or laugh at the unsuspecting tourists. Ah, spring break. What a fine mess it is.I wonder... do the pelicans strap themselves to the piers when tornadoes pop up? Do they huddle together and form a windbreak with their beaks? Do they lick their webbed feet and stick them in the air to test the wind direction?I think I have a thing for pelicans. I hope they survive th
George Strait says hello 2008-03-17 19:56:45 He lives over there, in the house with the yacht.Coming at you in salt-O-vision. I am indeed in Rockport, TX! I have seen the bay, and ye, it was deemed good.Amos put his tiny tootsies into the Gulf of Mexico waters. At first, he would tremble as the wee waves lapped at his feet. Then, I picked him up slightly so that he could stomp his feet into the sand. After he regained his moxie, he stomped at the waves and swayed his face in the brisk breeze. The boy is a mariner, after all.I held on tight to him, lest a stray giant pelican come by and steal him away to a lonely pier. I will not lose my child to a bird with a shopping cart for a beak.My dad is starting to pull through. He is on an oxygen mask now, off of the ventilator. No pneumonia has been found. There are sprigs of hope Read more:George
, Strait
And so it goes 2008-03-20 13:50:27 Headed back to the family homestead today to deal with more and then more. Bleah. At least we had fun while it lasted.Yesterday, Amos stomped on the water, tiptoed through the little waves, and ate sand. That last one was not condoned by his mother. I showed him how to operate his little shovel and bucket, but every once in awhile the temptation was too great. The sand was meant to be nibbled.I've determined that in some distant future, Phil and I should come back down to Rockport to let our wee babe run wild across the beach. Amos loved the bay so much that when we returned after our long day of walking and beaching, he looked up to me several times with an expression of wonderment that said, "Did we REALLY just DO that?!" My wee man is a lover of the sea.Spring is just around the
Pelicans, cranes, and booze... oh, my! 2008-03-19 13:10:27 Here is an audio/visual feast for your senses. The pics are courtesy of my cell phone, so please excuse the lack of quality.Mobile post sent by imaginary binky using Utterz. Replies. mp3Mama and Amos at the bay, enjoying the breeze at Off the Hook restaurant.Look out! Pelicans! Look out! Hide your babies!One has a beach afro, the other is contemplative.Amos loves his aunt and the ocean!Sarah loves her sister and shiraz!Hope that satisfies your picture needs for the moment. More to come after today's beach romp. Read more:cranes
Words cannot say 2008-03-22 22:54:06 Stanley Russell Farris - my father, my hero, my troubles, and the reason I met Phil - is gone.Today at 5pm, we turned off the machines. At 5:39pm, my father passed away. It was a peaceful passing with many family members present. I held his hand and stroked his face and forehead and he slipped away.I could say more about why we needed to turn off the machines, the talk I had to have with my father last night about the fact that he was dying and we were asked to make a choice... but I am spent. Phil is here. He started driving here last night and arrived about 1 1/2 hours after my father died. You have never seen a more joyful yet sorrowful reunion between a wife and a husband. Phil viewed my father with me.We are in the process of making arrangements. I'll post them for anyone who Read more:Words
Details and such 2008-03-24 22:41:53 I think I'm going to become a funeral director. Apparently, it is the way to riches. I watched enough episodes of "Six Feet Under" to know what to say. Start with, "I'd like to offer our condolences, and also our current special on forever memorials with DVD and website, along with a keepsake pendant and the Sports Illustrated football phone..."Before I go into my spitfire rant about arranging a funeral, I will post the necessary info for those of you who may want to attend the viewing, the service, or send whatever it is that people send during these times. It's all new to me, my friends.Viewing: Thursday, March 27, at Goetz Funeral Home in Seguin, TX (Seguin is east of San Antonio) at 714 N. Austin St, Seguin, TX. Viewing hours are 2pm - 9pm. I'm sure I'll be there the entire time. Thi
Stan the man 2008-03-23 21:18:51 I don't have much to say. Kinda empty. When alone, I fall apart. I try to stay around Phil, Amos, or other family.Here is my dad, my mom, Phil, and Amos back in October of 2007. Phil and I drove down to Texas with Amos when he was 4 months old, and my parents met him for the first time.Yes, that is an orb in the photo. If it isn't a speck of dust floating in front of the camera, then I suspect it was my very vocal grandmother giving us a big shout out. Word, Grandma.
Stan Farris memorial 2008-03-27 00:43:49 For anyone who is interested in signing the guestbook or viewing the obituary for Stan Farris (Stanley Farris), you can go to these links:San Antonio Express News - Stanley R. Farris obituary and guestbookMarshall News Messenger - Stanley Russell Farris obituary and guestbookI'm posting this in case anyone is looking for my father via an Internet search. He was very fond of family history, geneology, and the like.(Phil and I wrote the obituary. I hope it made you proud, Dad.)
How to have a reunion 2008-03-26 23:21:20 How to have a reunion
:Let a beloved family member pass away. Add funeral arrangements, obituaries printed and online, and a million phone calls and e-mails. Shake until stirred. See who shows up.It looks like every person my dad, my family and I have ever known will be sending condolences or showing up in person. I've had many, many conversations with people who worked with my father, some of whom I knew as well when I was yay-high with blonde curls. The airplane people are the funny, crazy ones. Some remember stories about flying me upside down in their planes, or buzzing our little airplane and scaring the hell out of my dad and me as we tried to land. Oh, you crazy pilots. How you love to almost kill each other.I bought clothes today for the services. Although I packed for craz
Home again, home again, jiggity jig 2008-03-31 23:20:50 Home. Home is where the heart is. Home is where the cat is. Home, most importantly, is where The Bed is. I am back, snuggled into the large and ample bosom of Denver.I'm really too tired and overwhelmed to be witty and chatty and clever. It's been one heck of a week. Folks, I buried my dad on Saturday. I watched my father being lowered into the ground. I hugged relatives, friends, and folks I haven't seen in ages. Funerals are the most bizarre way to have a reunion.I even met someone named Cornbread (or Tommy, but my dad always called him Cornbread). And, as Phil is quick to correct, we discovered that Tommy is actually Little Cornbread. That's the kind of family history that every clan should relish. Mmm, cornbread and relish...I'll get back to you tomorrow. In the meantime,
Three little monkeys jumping on the bed 2008-04-02 18:38:12 One fell off, and then the batteries disappeared so that Mommy wouldn't have to listen to those damn monkeys anymore.Kids' toys. Gotta love 'em.Today has been productive. I have accomplished washing the dishes, watering the plants I collected from my dad's funeral, and laundry is a'launderin'. I've washed the funk off of Amos' little
bed, and I cleaned the bathroom sink. I almost had a meal planned, but then we decided that a bag o' shrimp from the 1930s is probably freezer burned. Oh, well. I can't be Martha Stewart every hour of the day.Oh, and I had some business time. Meow! Rawr! Pfft!After a month of living in other peoples' houses and sleeping on weird, hard mattresses or on my all time favorite, the air bed, I am finding myself to be more open to cleaning, fussing, and ge Read more:Three
What purpose do I have? 2008-04-01 18:09:03 That's the question I keep asking myself. For the past month or longer, my purpose had been to save my father's life. In a strange way, it was my job. Despite whatever logic there is and what Phil tells me, I feel like I failed in that mission. After all, the patient is gone.So, I am home. Today is surreal. Being away from Texas is surreal. My father being dead? Well, I think you know the way I feel about that.I think that I've come away from this experience as a very changed person. I see the ways in which I have let others down over the years, and I see the strengths I have that I never knew existed. I hope that for myself there is a renewed purpose to my life. I think there is. There are a million things I need to do now that I am home. I'll make that my purpose now.Sorry f
Big wheels keep on turnin' 2008-04-05 16:02:15 Just when I thought I wouldn't have anything to say today...Last night, as I was watching the final moments of one episode of the incredible "John Adams" series on HBO, my doppleganger Laura Linney was about to read a dramatic letter from her dear husband when... Psssshhhh! Bleah! Bleah! Pssssshhhh!The lights went out and the TV made crazy noises as it sputtered to its death. Amos and I stared in wonder into the darkness. It was around 10:30pm, and our house was scary black. I wandered to the front door and realized, hmm, I can't open the door. The key is somewhere around here, but I can't find it in the dark. Just as I made it back to the couch by feel with baby in tow, the TV and lights came on full speed. Psssshhhh! Bleah! Bleah! Pssssshhhh!Amos was entranced, scared, or
Incredibly geekful and nerditudinal 2008-04-04 11:50:22 Apparently, I'm a teenager.I joined Facebook today. Why? Because Phil has a profile there, and Phil can't have a profile on a social network without me spraying nonsense all over his stuff. That's how we use Myspace. I write nonsense, and he spits more nonsense back at me. That's part of the marriage contract, right?So, I suppose if you are in the neighborhood and would like to spit nonsense upon my Facebook, then have at it. I'm still learning how to work that ding dang contraption.It's not like I have anything better to do...
Brains, must eat brains 2008-04-07 17:37:15 I've spent today goofing off. Let's rephrase that. Today was Brain Gym Day. Good. That sounds better.Since joining Facebook, the majority of my online time has been spent playing word, trivia, and geography games. Yes, I am a nerd. I was so pumped up last night over my Traveler IQ Challenge that I stayed up until late o'clock trying to identify the location of such places as Timor and Antwerp. Woohoo!I have an ulterior motive for playing these games. During my pregnancy, I was quite shocked and angry to discover that my memory was failing me. I would forget words, places, people... everything that I held dear to my nerdy little heart. This is a cruel effect of bringing life into the world. Why must a woman's brain shrink when she is growing a person inside of her? Why must this
No title 2008-04-07 01:13:40 Kinda lazy today. Not much to say. Amos performed cute maneuvers. That is all. Until tomorrow...
Reasons to go bald 2008-04-08 20:24:22 I am a bad mother. A very, very bad mother.Today, we took Amos to the doctor for his checkup. He was especially fussy last night, so I was worried that he was teething and would be grumpy for the appointment. In fact, it took everything possible to try to get him to sleep last night. He cried, he kicked, he screamed, and he yelled, "Mama! Mama!" Finally, sounds from the hairdryer helped him to fall asleep around 2am.And then we went to the doctor today.After undressing him to weigh him at the doctor's, I started inspecting him. I suspect that I inspected him so that there weren't any boogers or stray bits of food on him that would tell the doctor, "Hey, these people don't wash their kid." No one wants to have a dirty baby at the doctor's office, right?And then I saw it.His toe. Th Read more:Reasons
There, there. There, there. 2008-04-09 14:49:26 Sorry to have alarmed you all. (Or y'all, if I was still in Texas, but I'm not, so there.) All is well in Porterland. Amos' toe is less swollen and much less red, and I am not a twin to Sinead O'Connor. Phew!It seems that many folks thought I might be going off the deep end in my blog yesterday. Fear not, patriots. I am well. I was trying to relay a moment-by-moment momentary freak out that I had, using a bit of melodrama to play the tune. I guess with recent events, it seemed like I was going batty. Not so. I really do appreciate the thoughts and kind words, though. Really, I do.While Amos' toe incident (or syndrome, if you believe the documents) was a bit scary for a short time, I find it to be on the cool side. Why? Because I'm a big fan of freaky biology. If there's anyth
Get your sex toy away from my child 2008-04-11 14:40:14 Today's e-mail collection was full of the usual, until I stumbled upon an offer from my local, fancy baby shop for their latest gadget. Ooh. Ahh. Behold, as we are asked to spend $599 on something that will improve our lives SO much and cause us to be the envy of every materialistic parent on the block.I present to you: The Vibe"The Vibe By Phil & TedsIntroducing a new stroller with a a whole new aesthetic: sleek urban style. The Vibe!New elliptical shape aluminum frame features a smart handle with one touch brake, smart fold, 5 point safety harness. Phil&Ted's inline buggies actually grow with your family. The unique double kit (sold separately) attaches to both front and back allowing 2 kids (from lie-flat newborn to upright 4 years) to ride inline in a buggy barely larger t Read more:child
Let the sun shine down 2008-04-14 23:51:56 Ah, spring. How I love thee. Let me bask in your sunshine and comfortable temperatures, and let me delight in the popping up of bulbs and tree flowers. Ah, spring.We've started a new philosophy of life here at the Porter Compound. I'm tired of being Fatty McGee. I'm bored with Saddy McSadderton. Bring in Happy McHappersberg and Giggles McChucklehead.As of yesterday, we've been walking our collective asses off. Denver is a haven for healthy people, and I do not want to be left behind by my healthnut neighbors, strutting around in their spandex and Gortex. We live in a neighborhood near downtown. It happens to be surrounded by lovely parks, trails, hills, and yes, dales. We've decided to walk every day. Weekends will include more difficult hikes and climbs, perhaps in the mountain
The talking dog says your fish don't stink 2008-04-15 18:01:12 Parks and crazies. The two go together like peanut butter and bananas. Like fried okra and ham. Like beans and cornbread.Amos and his mama traveled far and wide today to Rocky Mountain Lake Park, about 4.5 to 5 miles round trip. We huffed it with the trusty jogging stroller to the park, then Phil met us there on his dandy bike. We ate a nice picnic on a table sprayed with graffiti, then we played on the playground. I think I was the only mother there among about five nannies. Then, a horde of 9-month-old babies showed up (not on their own, mind you). It blew Amos' mind.Phil trucked back home on his bike while Amos and I played some more. He giggled and squealed while swinging, and he kicked at my face when I helped him to hold on to a higher level of the jungle gym. Parental abus
Burn, baby, burn 2008-04-17 13:29:15 So, yes. I am not of sound mind. There, I said it. Why have I come to this conclusion?I have a sunburn.Not just any sunburn. No. Possibly the worst sunburn of all time, of all mankind. No person could possibly be more red, more in pain, and feel more sorry for themselves than me. Except for the people who tend to blister when they burn. Maybe except for those people.Remember that long walk I took around the lake with Amos after running into the pedophile? Yeah. I had slathered up Amos with sunblock. Then, creepy loud pedophile guy was becoming loud again. That is when I was supposed to slather myself up as well, but I wanted to truck on out of there instead to get away from the creepy clutches of a guy who dresses like it's 1982 and still thinks that puppies make great child-ca
Incurable quotables 2008-04-18 15:02:14 For your Friday enjoyment, I refer you to the lovely site of Blogtations. Various things that have been uttered by yours truly are featured on Blogtations for the next few days. Woohoo! Just like some college kid throws out various quotes from Shakespeare or Emily Dickinson, you can now impress your friends at parties this weekend by using quotes from Imaginary Binky about Yugos and laundry. Lucky you!Blogtations is a blog created by the very interesting Jeannette of Bohemiology. She unschooled her kids, became a published writer, and learned Japanese! How cool is that? She just might be my new hero.Happy weekend, folks.
Monkey see. Monkey do. 2008-04-24 14:54:14 A little reminder for us all. Also, how did they know that I often puke in the alley with Amos?
Thirteen of those things 2008-04-24 14:40:47 I will participate in a list of thirteen things
on Thursday because I have no idea what to write today. I suppose I could write Amos' 10 month letter, but that would be work. I'm not here to work, ya dig? So, I give you thirteen random items and units that are found in my head.Tonight, I celebrate my love for you. How? By dining with other bloggers. I will eat delicious Indian foods in your name, dear reader. I will sup and drink in the lovely visages of Inherent Passion, Greeblemonkey, Tiddleywink, and Villanovababy. Don't say I never did anything for you.I actually have a full weekend planned. It's like I'm back in the world, or some such. Whodathunkit.Today and tomorrow, I will go through our house and find things to sell. I've developed a recent lack of attachment to inanima Read more:Thirteen
When bloggers come out to play 2008-04-25 18:21:52 Ding dang! Last night was a festivus if there ever was one. I had a smashing time with the ladies. A meeting of minds, wits, and cleverness occurred between Greeblemonkey, Inherent Passion, Tiddleywink, Villanovababy, and lil' ol' me. Woohoo! If you are not reading the blogs of these fine writers (and drinkers), then you are missing out. Despite exorbitant prices charged by India House, we were able to mingle, laugh, guffaw, nod our heads, and generally cause mayhem in the span of three hours. Three hours was definitely NOT enough time for us to raise mischief, so more gatherings must take place. MUST.How much mischief did we cause? Enough for all of the other diners to leave and for the staff to "politely" usher us out by filling the restaurant with the smells of PineSol and the Read more:bloggers
Recommend Site To A Friend
