Bass Player James...
2007-11-30 08:04:00
James--I’ll be brief, since I don’t want to abuse this forum... I did send a response to you via the e-mail address you wrote from. However, apparently that address only sends and does not receive since you have written me again with indication that you never heard from me. I know you gave your cell number, but experience has taught me not to call people I am unfamiliar with.Simply put, I do not know if you and the band I am part of would jive well or not -- I would need to know more about you. (In my reply you didn’t get, I addressed the fact that one of the potential problems is your location -- [removed] is about an hour away from where we are.)One thing is for sure: my group and I always have something new to review or discuss... if you do not have e-mail, it would be arduous to communicate as a group. Sorry, but that is the reality of the situation.Best wishes to you.Poor James. Getting dumped over the phone is bad enough. But to get dumped through a classifed ad?At least th
Read more: James
, Bass Player
Promote you band with BABES!
2007-11-29 09:37:00
We have a wide variety of female models to help with any Promotional task you may need like....-Dancing-Modeling-Handing out information-Videos*******Rates as low as $15/HR**********If interested Email us at [removed]Thank YouAnd for an extra charge. . .So if you're paying $15 an hour, how much is the girl getting? Half? Let's be generous and say $10. Come on ladies, I'm sure there are plenty of, uh, service companies that will pay you WAY more than that.
Read more: Promote
Blassic Rock!
2007-11-29 09:25:00
Hey! We're a shitty rock band who was supposed to play some hole-in-the-wall bar on New Years Eve, but the bar closed down. Now, we have the date wide open, just like our mouthes are when we kneel in front of some dude and unzip his pants.Location: DudeSomeone's upset. They have another ad a few posts down with the same theme:Great Blassic Rock band unexpectantly has this new years eve open for booking !!!!!Think all the good bands are taken for NY's Eve? Well this one was,, but isn't now......contact for details.....................hurry !!!!!!!!!!So, give them a ring if you have New Year's Eve open and you're looking for Blassic Rock! I hear they're available.Bonus points for taking out their frustration on an internet classified ad board.Update: they have another one. This one sounds much less angry, with much less punctuation:Great Classic Rock Band unexpectantly has this new year's eve open for booking....ou thought all the good bands were taken ,,,,, this one was .. but i
Power Trio searching for BASS PLAYER / HEAVY BRUTAL blues !
2007-11-28 12:26:00
hellocan a bass player help with recording ?2 to 3 gigs a mouthMUST know walking bass lines , hard thumpin beats, shuffles ,we must hear you play these BEAT FIRST!MANY CANNOT PLAY HARD .PLEASE give your number in email .thanks wil only converse on PHONE.have A GREAT day..Location: [removed]From the school of thought where you put a space before ending punctuation. This is done too many times to be an accident. Weird.Anyway, we've got the random capitalization with alien English:play these BEAT FIRST!MANY CANNOT PLAY HARD .3 gigs a MOUTH.I would dismiss this person as a nut case if he or she came up to me on the street and spoke like this. Why write disjointed sentences with weird emphasis on words for no apparent reason?MANY CANNOT WRITE HARD .When you write a musicians classified ad, read it aloud afterwards. This is the time for you to put your best foot forward in terms of personality and professionalism. Does the flow of the ad sound normal, or more like an alien trying to learn t
Read more: searching
singer available
2007-11-28 12:18:00
will consider any band that is ready to play out now. no original music. copy only for fun and money. 41/2 octave range. prefer older guys. 30's to 40's.With a 4 1/2 octave range (I'll assume it's not 41/2=20.5 octaves), why is this singer
looking to jump at the the first band with a paying gig? Something seems strange here.Is this a male or female? This person must have the mafia after them. "I need money- NOW. THEY'RE GOING TO TAKE MY THUMBS."
Read more: available
Metal guitarist looking for band!
2007-11-27 10:55:00
24 years old, located in [removed]. Looking for a band or musicians to start a band. I have pro equipment, 14 years experience, and a professional attitude. I don't do any drugs. I currently work full time sun-thur from 4:00pm-12:30am, so I only have fri and sat off for practice and shows, however I would be willing to change jobs for the right band. I'm looking for something pretty close to me for now, but again I'd be willing to relocate for the right band.I'm looking for something heavy, kinda guitar driven, very groove oriented. Nothing too technical, I like to be able to move around on stage and not have to focus so much on what I'm playing. I'm not great at writing riffs, but I'm pretty good at working with another guitar player to make an okay riff better. I'm a solid live player, with lots of energy. Been listening to a lot of Soilwork, In Flames, All That Remains, and Killswitch Engage lately. I'm into a lot of different styles, and have influences in many genres. so
Read more: Metal
Drummer looking to play
2007-11-27 10:41:00
Drummer in [removed] area looking to practice with other musicians.When I read this ad, I think "Yep, this guy is everything we've been looking for!" He's a drummer, AND wants to practice.Even though I know nothing about him, how much experience he has, his skill level, age range, what style of music he plays, how often he wants to gig, what his contact information is, if he has a practice spot for his drums, or anything else, he is absolutely the guy I'm going to call to set up an audition. He wants to practice! With other musicians! And obviously doesn't talk much! Sign him up. or her.
Metal vocalist needed.
2007-11-26 13:21:00
Metal band in need of a vocalist.2-3 songs are complete - need someone to put lyrics/vocals over them.Audible vocal style a plus, but no singing.Must be able to pay rent for a practice spot and have own equipment. It would help if you had some sort of sample of your vocals/lyrics so we could determine if you are what we are looking for before you try out.'Please respond if interested.Vocalist wanted, must be audible.This is real close to making the Hall of Fame on just that sentence.And let's not be crazy here; you don't have to actually be audible. . ."Audible vocal style a plus."That is beautiful. They ask for a sample, so I thought for awhile about responding to the ad and sending them an .mp3 of silence, with the note that my style is not audible. I was really close.
Read more: Metal
Looking for blues Guitarist
2007-11-26 09:51:00
Old style Blues GAuitar player wanted.(although we do newer type stuff too)Want older, more mellow style guitar player for reforming blues band. (Not necessarly old player, though, The rest of us are old enough already)A little distortion and effects are OK but would like to see somone who plays the Guitar and dosn't have the electronics play them. (Some Jazz experience would be nice)Age is unimportant, but be advised, you will be playing with hardened old musical veterans who have played all kinds of music and have 20 and 30 years on stage. The key is we only care about tallent and not your birthdate!Hope we don't sound too sanctimonious, but we want a Kenny Burell / BB King type and don't want to waste the time of a bunch of death metal only players.Location: [removed]I like these guys already.This is a great example of writing reflecting a person's true personality. You can tell, these guys are friendly, older, funny/ sarcastic, and just want to play the blues without some dumb
Read more: Guitarist
Looking for a fill in drummer this friday jan 4
2007-11-24 07:53:00
We found a fill in for the other one. This is basic bar rock. Beatles, stones, bad company eagles, three doors down, some blues. Very basic.Please send your rate for that fill in night. And a couple of sentences about your background.ThanksWhat other one?About influences: obvious this is a classic rock band. They list 4 of the most famous bands in the world. . .then Three Doors Down?Unless, to quote Office Space, they celebrate the band's entire catalog?What they most likely mean is, "we play a lot of classic rock by the usual famous bands, and one song by Three Doors Down".I see this happen in ads all the time with the band Puddle of Mudd. I know they are not an actual influence, like the Rolling Stones or Led Zeppelin. They don't have a unique style that has been copied by other rock bands for years. But the band likes that song "She Fucking Hates Me" and that's it. No need to list them as in influence with the likes of Floyd and the Beatles in your ad.I wonder what the stipulatio
Guitarist Looking for Blues Ban
2007-11-23 09:01:00
No need to quote the ad, just the title. I assume he means "blues band", and simply couldn't be bothered to proofread those 5 words.But if he means it literally, I am behind him 100 percent.
Read more: Guitarist
, Blues
Raven X is currently seeking a drummer & bass player.
2007-11-23 08:27:00
Raven Xis currently seeking a drummer & bass player
.Requirements Include:- professional equipment and reliable transportation- the motivation to do your homework and show up on time- the ability to play odd time signatures and with dynamics- professional attitude,talent,image,creativity and dedicationInfluences Include:Emperor,Opeth,Arch Enemy,Meshuggah,Black Sabbath,Gojira,Rush,Arcturus,Dimmu Borgir,The Gathering,Otep,Pink Floyd,MudvayneRehearsals to be determined according to the situation.A professional keyboard player would also be considered.Any interested keyboard player must have programming ability.Contact us for more info & audition details.Serious Inquiries Only. 18 and over.Contact info:email:[removed]or send message to:http://www.[removed]This ad isn't too bad, really. Plus, it's the day after Thanksgiving and I really need to get moving this morning. Just a couple points:Don't list your band name in the ad unless you have a huge following"Metallica searching for bass pl
female vocalist needed
2007-11-23 05:18:00
guitarist and disc jockey in his 30,s.....seeks female vocalist for music and fun...........i write wy own music...own p.a.,......and live in [removed]......reply with contact # for quicker responce.......Location: [removed]For "music and fun"....I'm not certain who responds to these ads, but they must work, because there are tons of them out there. But again...........I could be way off base here...........just callin' it...........like I'm seein' it
Wanted Drummer $ BASSPLAYES for EGALES jam night
2007-11-22 11:12:00
HELLOWANT TO MAKE SPARE $ DRUMMERS BASSPLAYERS?BLUES TO CLASSIC ROCK .HAVE KEYBOARD SINGER LEAD PLAYERS NOWSO 555 555 1212SAT 8 TIL 12PMWE STOP EARLEY ALOT TO DRINK BAR CLOSES 12 PMI promise, this is the actual ad, in its entirety.ALOT TO DRINK is right.I always wonder, for example, the person who wrote this ad: did he or she finish writing it, look at it once more, and think "You know, I just couldn't write this any better. It's a keeper?"Is it an "Eagles" jam night? The body of the ad makes no more mention of the cryptic EGALES.Amazing ad, well done. Bonus points for all caps, in CASE YOU CAN'T HEAR THE WRITING VERY WELL.
So close, yet so far away
2007-11-22 10:30:00
This happens more often than you might think:Just look down! Your prayers have been answered! Only one post away!Like two ships passing in the night.
WANTED: Sound man w/ gear
2007-11-21 15:13:00
[band_name_removed] is looking for a new sound man W/GEAR. Become an equal member of [removed]'s most popular Country band. Responsible for all front end transportation, set-up, & control of sound & light.This is the musical equivalent of an after-school special where the jocks become friends with the nerd because he has a car or a hot sister or something."We'll let you be in our band, so long as you drive us around, buy all the equipment, and do the set-up and tear-down. Then you can be popular too!"Except in the after-school special, they learn that the nerd is really a cool guy, and they become real friends and live happily ever after, and maybe the nerd gets the hot cheerleader at the end. That's what would happen if I wrote it, anyway.
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AVAILABLE: Music writing for film, etc.
2007-11-21 14:52:00
[name_removed]Original Imaginative Music
:His authenticity will blow you away. From creative scores to rythm sections to back up any vocalist or instrumentalist.Flexible Diverse Music Collaboration:From scoring movies, to backing up rap artists, to composing music for commercials on tv. His versatility will taper to almost any musical need.Creation of music to fit to your exact need:- Films / Tv- Commercials / Jingles- Video Games- Singers / MCs- Bands / Solo Artists- Music Festivals- Internet SitesGo to [removed] to listen to a wide variety of music demosAnd now, in the tradition of "The Press Release" ad...Don't write an ad and pretend someone else wrote it.Just write the ad and use "I" and "me". It's obvious, ok?At the very least, if you want us to believe you hired someone to write this for you, then teach your highly-paid public relations professional to spell "rythm" correctly.It's "rhythm". R-H-Y-T-H-M. And thanks for letting us know you're unemployed. I mean, "available".
Read more: writing
fun outgoing drummer SEEKING fun female VOCALIST/KEYBOARDIST!
2007-11-21 14:07:00
lets jam!! hard rock,metal and country..u name it!..must be willing to make some time to have fun and jam!!:)Location: [removed]What? Is this a personal ad? What is this?Take out the musical instruments in the title and you get:fun outgoing person SEEKING fun female!And of course, I am assuming this is a guy. But guy or girl, still weird.
Recording and Production Services
2007-11-21 13:40:00
Nashville, Tn based professional recording engineer with 25+ years experience offering recording services for all styles and budgets. Musicians and arrangements available, guitar vocal demos to full orchestration.Resume available upon request.[name_removed][email_removed]555-555-1212Location: Nashville TNExcellent. here's who he his, where he's located, what he does and to what extent.Ending with clearly stated contact info, with the promise of sending a detailed resume as well.Take note. This is how you present yourself if you want to come across like you know what the hell you're doing.
Read more: Recording
, Production
, Services
stand-up
2007-11-21 12:21:00
im a stand up bassist currently looking for a rocka/psychobilly band to play with.im pretty new to stand up but i've been playing electric bass for 5 years so if you have no need for an upright player feel free to talk to me about bass guitar id be glad to set somthing up with that insteadand please god no metal band replys i dont wanna hear about how kick ass/fast/heavy you are or how the guitarist can play impecable slipknot solos your band is played out and unoriginal.
Guitarist for hire-or start a project
2007-11-21 11:58:00
First and foremost, I'm a ROCK guitar player. That would mean no jazz, country, hip-hop, rap, disco. Rock would mean, bluesy-classic rock, modern progressive-alternative, metal, and even southern rock styles. Generally dig, music that is guitar based (ie no techno crap). would be up to starting a band (have connections on other players)or joining a band. Have done originals and covers, a fast learner. Have played both lead and rhythym, it's all guitar anyways ain't it? Experience is over 20 years. Plenty of professional equipment to play small bars to large arenas. I also have a full PA system, always nice to have on hand. You can e mail me at rebelrokker@[removed]. Give me your phone number so I can talk with an actual person, or else you will not receive a response.If you're a band, it would help if you provide an idea of where you're musical paths are leading you. Do you have a website? Looking to rock soon.Hello. I am REBELROKKER. I rock. As you can tell by my email nickname,
Read more: Guitarist
Searching for musicans for major label project
2007-11-21 08:47:00
We are a vocalist & guitarist in search of some musicians to fill our line-up for a project that has major label interest.Sound: The sound of the project is basic good time rock 'n roll....radio play songs with some blues and country influence mixed in.We need:DrummerBassistPossible 2nd guitaristWe are looking for professionals (visually & musically) between the ages of 21-29 NO YOUNGER, NO OLDER. You must have great gear, the knowledge of how to use it & of course the ability to play!If this sounds like you, awesome...contact us with a myspace site, or demo...or just to meet up. If you do not meet the above requirements, DO NOT waste our time and yours.Location: [removed]This ad has many classic themes. Nice job guys.1. The "we call ourselves a band but we're really just a couple kids, one of whom owns a guitar" theme2. The "really really vague style of music description" theme3. The "age range for no apparent reason" request (plus they MUST MEAN IT SINCE THEY UNDERLINED IT AND EVER
~WANTED~bassiest m / f
2007-11-20 14:45:00
HIbassiest NEEDED FOR 2 GIGS,recordng/ FESTIVALS & TAVRENS EVERY OTHER WEEK END.WE Are TEXAS STYLE, ROCKIN , BOOGIE /BLUES.email with your number please.=THANKS ELocation: [removed]You might be bass, but we want the BASS-IEST!Even after decoding the child-like writing of the ad, I've read this a couple times and still can't figure out how many gigs they play.2 gigs every other weekend, either recording or playing out?Festivals and taverns every other weekend, plus 2 other gigs?2 recording gigs, then some festivals and taverns, all within 2 weekends?I guess you'll just have to write E and ask. At least this person saved valuable seconds of time by not typing out his or her full name. Thanks E!UPDATE: They have since re-written their ad to make it much easier to understand.HIbassiest NEEDED FOR F.T.W BAND2 GIGS,recordng/ FESTIVALS & TAVRENS EVERY OTHER WEEK END.WE Are TEXAS STYLE, ROCKIN , BOOGIE /BLUES.check out www.youtube.com/ eric sardinas /jay hooks /lance lopez " izabella.email
Lead Guitars Wants Band
2007-11-20 14:39:00
NEED A BAND!Well alright then.Is there more than one lead guitarist? Or is it a misspelling by using "guitars" instead of "guitarist"?I guess if you say "guitars" after a few beers, you can slur it just right into thinking it's "guitarist".Guitars
sssssth.I'm a lead guitarssssssth.
Singer wants Band
2007-11-20 14:28:00
ROCK VOCALIST Lead vocalist is seeking a working rock band that plays cool material. No shitty set lists please.Thanks for the info. I too like cool material and non-shitty set lists.And Piña Coladas.And getting caught in the rain.My name's Rupert. Call me.
Read more: wants
Why this site? Read this first, please.
2010-12-31 23:00:00
This site is not here to pick on people or make fun of them just for the hell of it. This site is a commentary on goals.People can have something that is very personal to them, very near to their hearts, something they want to do for the rest of their lives, something they want as a career, a way to have fun, share experiences with others, or maybe just a way to pick up a little cash on the side. These ads are a way for them to reach out and achieve whatever goal they have. Yet, they put little or no thought into it. No plan. Just hastily typed sentences they don't even bother to proofread. It amazes me.This blog could be about personal ads, used car ads, resumes, or any number of things where people are looking to reach out to others to achieve a goal. But I'm a musician, so I chose this. I will hope that you read some of these and have a few laughs. I will also hope that you think about how you go about achieving your own goals. Does your plan differ?Plus, some of these ads are jus
Classic rock cover band needs singer/songwriter!!!
2007-12-06 09:20:00
[removed] area classic rock cover band needs lead vocalist/lyricist. We cover bands like; Alan Parsons, Sweet, Foreigner, Styx, etc... We have practice space and PA. We practice in [removed] every Saturday @ 7:00pm. If you have any questions or are intrested in checking us out, please contact [removed] (555)555-1212, or myself [removed] (555)555-1212 (both are cell #'s). We want to be ready to play out the summer of 2008. We just need you!!! So lets play and make some music! Thanks, and ROCK ON!!!!This is more about the ad title; talk about an easy job. I wonder how much you get paid to be a songwriter
for a cover band? Do you just bring a cd of your favorite band to practice and say "here you go"?Editorial comment: I would never audition for a cover band that can't be ready to play out for 6 months. Summer of 2008, if all they need is the singer
?Back to the title. That would be a funny thing to put on your resume, just to see if anyone noticed:"5 years experience as songwriter for c
Read more: Classic
20+Yr. Experienced Singer/Frontman Seeking SERIOUS MINDED Rock band!!!
2007-12-05 10:40:00
I am an early 40's male vocalist currently fronting a [location_removed] band. Although I like the guys I currently work with, I would like to move onto something a little more on the dance rock type theme, ie. modern rock tunes like Puddle of Mudd, My Chemical Romance, older 80's hair rock like Poison and so on, gotta keep the women on the dance floor type music, but still rock, no sausage fest Pantera stuff (sorry Pantera type fans, but chicks don't stand around and bang their heads). I am leaving the band I am in because of band member wife ruling problems, been there too many times and don't need it anymore, I just want to play and sing, I have enough drama issues at work, rock & roll is supposed to be a release, anyway, I use a wireless mic system and I am a serious crowd worker, Girls have to be on the dance floor or I go get them and dance with them while I do the song, also I am a stickler for perfection so professionalism is #1 on stage, my vocal range is pretty versital,
Read more: Frontman
, Seeking
Calling all HOT Rock Bands!!!
2007-12-05 10:17:00
Im a manager based in NY. Looking for an all girl rock band as well as a band ala fall out boy/plain white t's.This ad was placed in the Seattle classifieds. So, HOT Seattle bands, if you're looking for a manager who's qualifications include:Saying he's a managerLiving a couple thousand miles awayWriting two sentences and still missing an apostropheThen your prayers have been answered.
Read more: Calling
, Bands
Drums we have a drummer we don't have.
2007-12-04 07:58:00
pratice saturday @ 12:00 http://myspace.com/[removed]What? Who?What?Is this an open casting call, where anyone can show up? "Practice Saturday, let's do this." It sounds as if you just have to show up and you're in. But the trick is they don't tell you where practice actually is. It's their way of thinning out the candidates. If you can figure out where they are, you must be good.I assume they are looking for drums? Or a drummer?Oh wait, I just got it. Really, just now. They have drums, they need a drummer.Let's see how a little punctuation changes the title:Drums
we have, a drummer we don't have.Drums: we have. A drummer? We don't have.Drums, we? Have a drummer? We don't! Have!One little punctuation mark changes everything.
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