Nationally touring Christian band SEEKING PART-TIME BASSIST
2007-12-03 08:06:00
My college-aged rock/worship band has a few week-long gigs ready to be booked in September 06. For us to agree to these, we're in need of a simple, solid bass player, who can quickly pick up new songs. All of these are out-of-state, so be ready.Email me with any questions.To: college-age rock/worship bandFrom: PART-TIME BASSISTDear band,Thank you for writing SEEKING PART-TIME BASSIST in all caps, or I would have missed it.I do have a couple questions:If you choose me for the gig, do you have transportation back in time to September 2006? I'm afraid I do not.I am not sure how quickly I can pick up new songs if they are located out of state. Can I arrange to pick them up closer to where I live?I apologize in advance if these question make me seem even more simple than the type of person you have asked for. Eagerly waiting for your reply.
Read more: Christian
DJ for party on Friday
2007-12-02 15:41:00
Interested in learning how to market and promote yourself as a nightclub DJ? Listen to pros for great tips, advice, and self promotion strategies that will increase your chances of landing quality, paying gigs at great nightclubs. Find out how to approach club owners/managers. Guerrilla marketing and mix CD promotion techniques, press kits, contracts, genius networking strategies and much, much more. Learn from DJ's who have been in the industry for over a decade. [website_removed] Looks like an ad for a DJ, but instead is an ad for some crappy DJ book they made up I guess.Don't have much to say about this one except: what a dick. Annoying. Especially because I see this one over and over everywhere, posted in the wrong places.
Read more: Friday
100 CDR $45 w/Thermal Print $75
2007-12-02 10:22:00
[removed] provides many duplication and publishing needs. People choose our services because we sell 100 CDs at at 1000 CD rate. Bands and induvidual marketers love this because Our CD duplication rates are some of the lowest in the country per hundred. Check out [removed]As we all know, cd printing and duplication companies that don't spell check their own advertisements are grossly under-represented in the marketplace. Even more so are the ones who duplicate words in their ads but somehow miss that in the final draft as well.Or, maybe a high school kid bought a thermal cd printer from Best Buy and the credit card bill just came in. Either way, as an individual, I would be very afraid to trust this "company" to print anything on a cd or otherwise for me.Bonus points: I clicked on the website. Broken link! SCORE!Look for their new campaign, "We put the "duh" in "induvidual".
Read more: Thermal
, Print
Drummer Looking For Band
2007-12-01 07:23:00
Older drummer looking for already formed band or soon to be formed band who plays blues, funk, classic rock, and/or light jazz. Into SRV, Tommy Castro, Eric Clapton etc. If you are not looking for an already formed or soon-to-be formed band, then what kind of band would you be looking for?"Older drummer searching for band which has broken up" I guess.
Funeral Singer/Vocalist
2007-12-16 09:25:00
Fill your loved one's farewell with the beautiful music of [removed]. Classically trained with over 20 yrs experience. Musical selections include classical, broadway, sacred, traditional, and gospel. Military burials include patriotic and national anthems. At churches/chapels, funeral homes, graveside, and in-home. Rate $150. For more information, email [removed]We're all looking to find our niche, I guess.FUNERALS ONLY. I wonder why this person has chosen to only sing when there is a dead person in the room?I want to hear what Broadway selections are chosen at funerals. That would be worth $150.
Read more: Funeral
country-blues jazz improv. lead guitarist
2007-12-14 08:47:00
Hi there,I am guitarist looking for workin country or blues-jazz band or talented muscians to form one. I do have experience and nice gear. If interested I can send you an audio clip of my playing through email. (Please no drugs..) Thank you for looking. Email [removed]Even though you have politely stated otherwise, I must insist that you send me a clip of your drugs through email as well.
bassplayer needed
2007-12-13 08:07:00
can you play the pockit and to a click endless influences serious inquiries only email [removed] originalsSometimes, I just don't get it. Why did the writer even bother with this one?Maybe I'm just in a bad mood today, so I'll make my comments brief.Seventeen words, that's all you had! Only seventeen, how tough do you think this is? READ IT. Just look it over! For 10 seconds! Why would anybody read this and take it seriously! I mean, come on!Come ON! You have got to be KIDDING me!And thus ends my constructive criticism of the day. Sorry for the outburst. This might be the most poorly written ad I have ever seen.Unreal.
Note to bands: Play good shows!
2007-12-12 12:38:00
All of the GOOD bands I have seen in this area DO NOT consider themselves "Rockstars"and have 5 good shows to 1 bad one. Those that do will have 1 good show and 5 mediocre ones but say they were all GREAT! Just an observation.At first glance, I made the assumption that the writer was basing this observation on the Pareto principle. Could this be the case? If so, this could be more than "just" an observation by our writer. But, the problem is that just because it fits 80% or so of the cases of one band (in this example, "a GOOD band"), it would also need to be understood that only 20% of the resources are used in the case of the GOOD band.So, what is the writer saying?"80% of all the GOOD bands play 20% of the GOOD shows""80% of ROCKSTARS are in 20% of the bands"Neither, I guess. I apologize for making that assumption before thinking it through.So, thinking it through. Consider the case of two bands; one good and one bad. There are a total of twelve shows played. According to our writer
Need female singer for New Years Eve gig...
2007-12-12 11:08:00
Hello, I have a good paying New Years
Eve gig (wedding) from 9-1am in [removed]Ok, you got her attention. So far so good.I need a female singer
who can sing some tunes from the short list below and KNOWS THE WORDS or brings a songbook.RespectI Will SurviveSomeone To Watch Over MeBoogie Oogie OogieIf I Ain't Got You BabyAin't No Other Manetc...A little sarcastic for seemingly no reason, but she's still reading, ok...I also have to ask that you be relatively decent looking and resemble a woman.You just lost her, dude. WTF kind of comment is that?Elegant dress, no guests, fed a meal, 3 breaks, roughly $250.00.But you're willing to pay a lot of money, as long as she SHOWS UP ALONE. Can you reel her back in?Send mp3's, links to website, pics, vids to me. Thank youAND. . . that's a wrap, later. Sounded like a request you might get in a chat room or on myspace.What might have turned this from "stalker ad" into "musician ad" is some information about the writer.Who are you? What's the b
Read more: New Years
National touring act needs musicians
2007-12-11 08:41:00
Need immediately guiarist,bass,keys. This is a national touring act. Its a Steppenwolf tribute band. Need players for upcoming tour immediately. Contact [removed] or call 555-555-1212 for more info.Ok, this one is too common; that's why I named the blog after this situation.If you are one person looking for everybody else, you are not a band. Or act. You are not touring anywhere.Maybe you are looking to form a band, or become an act, and then tour. Right now, you're just one or two guys putting an ad on a website. Call it what it is.A good title might have been "Looking to form Steppenwolf tribute band- tour dates available". Instead of coming across like you are touring around the country and your band suddenly quit on you or something.Unless that's what happened. In which case, what did you do to make your whole band quit on you at once?
Read more: National
, musicians
Hard rock cover band looking for Bass and Vocals
2007-12-10 08:06:00
Startup hard rock cover band looking for a Bassist and a Vocalist. Currently, we have drums and 2 guitarists. Bassist with some vocals would be a plus. The bands we are looking to cover are in the vein of Godsmack, Metallica, STP, etc. Pretty much anything 90's to now. Practice once a week in [removed]. We are looking to get the last 2 missing pieces to play out. Email me for more info……Thanks, [removed]Location: [removed] and surrounding areasExcellent. A great example. Makes me wonder why so many other ads sound like fifth graders wrote them. See how easy it is? It's just that easy!Who they are, where they are, what music they like to play, how often they practice, and contact info.And: everything is spelled correctly.They sound like they actually give a crap about finding people to finish their lineup. I'm going to buy a bar and hire these guys to play there.Only one thing: why capitalize the words "bassist" and "vocalist"? Only capitalize proper nouns.
US Army Hiring Musicians - Full Time/Part Time
2007-12-09 07:59:00
This is a long one. I shouldn't even post this, as a matter of principle. You would be crazy to join the freaking army just for an opportunity to be a musician. So disclaimer: don't do it. But unfortunately, these guys know how to write ad copy, and this is a very well written ad. They know how to sign people up. Let's say you're a young struggling musician, how could you not call? And see how they put it; you are not calling to enlist, you are calling to audition!The U.S. Army currently employs over 5,000 musicians throughout the Continental United States as well as in many locations like Alaska, Hawaii, Germany, Belgium, Japan, and Korea.Work as a Musician in the U.S. Army and you will receive the following:*$65K for College Loan Repayment*$38K for College when you finish serving*Free Tuition Assistance while you serve*Receive a Significant Sign-On Bonus*As a musician you will enter the Army at a much higher pay grade, starting salary will be $39K*Receive Free Health/Dental Care*
Read more: Hiring
, Full Time
Guitarist/Drummer looking
2007-12-07 08:35:00
Guitarist and drummer looking for a semi-serious fold. 13+ years of experience. Only serious inquiries please.Location: [zip_code_removed]What is a fold? What makes a fold serious or semi-serious?Don't forget, there are about 13 million different styles of music out there. List a few that you enjoy playing in your ad.I'm also not sure what 13+ years of experience is. Is it ... 14 years? People usually use the plus sign with normal counting blocks, as a ballpark amount of time. 10+ years, etc. 13 is an unusual number to use there.I like that the location is listed as only a zip code. At first I thought "why would you want to make people look up your zip code?" But actually, this is a good idea. If you know the zip code right off the bat, you probably live close by, which is probably what they are looking for.I think that was unintentional, but good idea anyway.
Read more: Guitarist
Seeking Male Vocalist
2007-12-22 07:56:00
or back up/some leads and Duets in a jazz/blues/soul/r&b band. Send info and songs you already know. Must be willing to learn duet material. Possibly can be apart of our New Years Eve Gig, if can learn the songs in time. But will definelty need you for future bookings. Thanks, Hope to hear from the right one that can complete our band.I think Yoda wrote this one. "A part you be, if learn songs in time you can".For whatever reason, there is a segment of people who think that to write professionally, you need to eliminate articles and pronouns.This would have sounded much better:You can possibly be a part of our New Year's Eve gig, if you can learn the songs in time.See, no-need-to-sound-ro-bot-talk.Or at least be consistent and write every sentence that way. The last sentence should have read: "Hope hear right one complete band" to follow form.What's the deal with eliminating words as if they are unnecessary? I think this a throwback to the telegram age, where you were charged by the
Read more: Seeking
Rock Drummer Available
2007-12-21 07:21:00
Drummer looking to start a cover band playing rock / metal. Not quite classic rock...not quite hair metal. Mid to late 70's to mid 80's stuff. Early VH, Iron Maiden, Rush, Zeppelin, early Ozzy, etc...I have rehearsal space in my basement. 25 - 40 years old...give or take a bit. I'm not really looking to play top 40 hits. They all have much better tunes than you usually hear on radioI'm sorry, but I am looking for a much younger rehearsal space. *rimshot*Not quite classic rock or hair metal, but instead late 70's - mid 80's Van Halen, Rush, And Led Zeppelin. I think that pretty much covers classic rock and hair metal, doesn't it? I mean, I understand what the writer is saying, but that mindset has always been interesting to me.The point is, don't over-think it.For example, to me, all country music sounds the same, but I'm sure there are fans who would love to have a few beers and explain why Garth Brooks is miles away from George Jones you stupid city-boy let's take it outside
Kick ass orig. project seeks guitarist
2007-12-20 07:54:00
influences are tool, godsmack, alice in chains, stp, and more. we have written a ton of new songs since this but here is the myspace page you can sample some of what we have done. all the new stuff is more toward the hit the ground style, heavier and solid. hit me up at [email_removed]In a short ad, how do you bother saying "Here's my myspace page" then forget to put it in there?DID YOU KNOW: by typing "orig." instead of "original", you save three keystrokes?
Read more: Kick ass
Looking for a drummer? Inquire within myspace!!
2007-12-19 08:00:00
[myspace_page_removed]Leave me a message or pull my email off the board and shoot me a message.Make the message somewhat detailed as to what you're looking to do. If you are not a noob you'll understand my point.Thanks,[removed]The writer won't just put his email or phone number here in the ad. Why not?If I was looking for a drummer, I would hope that person would say "here I am, here's a little about me, here's how to contact me" instead of making me go on some scavenger hunt.And everyone knows it's spelled "no0b", right? With the zero in place of the first or second letter o? Unless you're a no0b. In which case, you won't understand my point. MySpace for-evah.
Read more: within
Classic Rock Lead Guitarist Needed
2007-12-19 07:03:00
5 piece band seeks mature lead guitarist to round out lineup for classic rock act doing 60's thru present. We are looking to expand the set list to include more danceable and uptempo influences such as Steely Dan,Styx, Kansas, Yes, Floyd as well as some "eclectic". Some older some more modern. Play out only on weekends. We offer a full P.A.,8 track digital recording at westside rehearsal location.Pro gear and attitude (lacking drama, ego and willing to commit)please.This is a good ad. Very straightforward.Only a couple things.Don't be afraid to break up those sentences into paragraphs, there's at least three different thoughts in there."Danceable" does not equal Steely Dan, Styx, Kansas, Yes, and Floyd.I have an awesome picture in my head of a packed dance floor with people showing off their best moves to "Carry On My Wayward Son". Not gonna happen.I'm also picturing an episode of Family Feud. Cue Richard Dawson:"Name a danceable, uptempo song by Pink Floyd.""...three seconds..."
Read more: Classic
, Guitarist
Giving my equipment away
2007-12-16 10:19:00
Yep, the titles right. There has been so much whinning on here about this place screwed me over, the soundman hates me, the girls won't show me their boobs. Alright the last one I made up but you get the picture. Anyway, I've had enough so I'm going to start giving my stuff away. First on the block is a Hammond organ. It's a full size, double keyboards, tabs, drawbars, foot pedals. Everything works. 100%. Please note: I am giving this organ away so don't expect me to haul it too. Get one of your buddies with a truck, buy him a 6 pack and drag his ass over here to help you. First one here takes the prize. Check out the pic.He makes an editorial comment about whiny band ads, and possibly gets rid of an ancient Hammond organ in the process. Score!I hope the next giveaway is his 59 Les Paul. Come on, Les Paul!
Read more: Giving
Need [city_removed] classic rock drummer
2007-12-16 10:15:00
Well established and working classic rock band in need of a drummer. Experience with good dynamics and attitude a must. Vocals are a plus.Please respond with years of experience, background info, availability for practice and telephone number.The band is seeking someone who does not rely on playing to make a living.Absolutely no drugs and no drinking during gigs.TKSSo wait. We won't make any money playing, and we can't even have a few beers in the meanwhile?ROCK and ROLL. Who wouldn't want to play in this band?This band sounds like my job.
Read more: removed
Know when to stop talking. Or writing.
2007-12-26 08:29:00
Sometimes, you can just try too hard. This usually happens when you run out of things to say. You end up saying... anything, which usually ends up being something so obvious there was no need to include it.So, if you are writing
your ad and you run out of things to say, you're done. That's it. Or, you run the risk of including statements such as these actual lines I pulled out of the ads:would be more than willing to travel for practices and gigs if need be.Possibly interested in near future gigs.I desire to add to and compile a list of material to market to various media.---huh?Must be willing to practice and gig.This kind of thing is not uncommon; I didn't search long for these.I worked for a short time in the admissions department for a small tech school, and was reviewing a resume for a student. At the bottom, she had written "This resume is personal and confidential". When we discussed this sentence, she agreed that there was no reason for it, she just felt like something neede
one
2007-12-24 07:56:00
twoThat's all, folks. The key to good music is practice. Maybe this was band ad practice.
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