Owner: M in Manhattan URL:http://minmanhattan.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Sun, 14 Jan 2007 21:27:42 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: Meet M. The manic, somewhat neurotic, mid-twenties Manhattatnite. Listen to M. See her thoughts,ideas and and random musings. Watch M. As she tries to make money, meet men, find Mr. Right, tries to manage mid-adulthood ennui, rages, waxes poetic, cries, s Site statistics:Click here
Happy New Year's? 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Target, the mom-and-pop crushing giant, is once again up to its pr tricks. I'd just love to hate the way they do all these big stunts for press, but god damn it if they aren't impressive as shit. I went to for their "Go International," campaign last year and even the toilet paper was printed with Bull's eyes. Yep, that's right. I literally wiped my ass with the Target logo.Compared to its rival Wallmart, who has never done anything even remotely cool, Tar-jet looks even sweeter. This New Year's in Time's Square they will be distributing 30,000 pairs of 3-D glasses to onlookers who will be subjected to a fireworks extrvanganza of glowing bull's eye logos.I will be no where near the spectacle being that a) I am not a tourist, b) I am not a burglar looking to mug and rape tourists and c) I am not certifiable insane. The whole are area is mass chaos with people arriving early in the morning and staking their small space inside of blocked areas that resemble cattle pens. Yo Read more:Happy
, Happy New Year
Happy Thoughts 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I can't sleep. It's been happening a lot lately. I think I might be stressed from work. OrA) I am suffering from paranoia of having restless leg syndrome or B) I am busy searching for the Beaver and Abe Lincoln in that space a foot from my bed and a foot from the wall that I refer to as my "kitchen."People have been telling me to ease stress and relax myself I should think happy thoughts. I should probably pay less attention to pharmaceutical commercials. As for happy thoughts this is all I could come up with.Tell me that this man should not run for President and I will debate you for eternity. Can you imagine how happy everyone would be. Just dancing around, sweating to the oldies. No more obesity, pain or sorrow.I want to hug him. I want him to adopt me.He makes me giggle and feel warm inside.I love him. He loves me. Peace. Peace. Sweet, sweet dreams. Zzzzzz.
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A Late Recap of A Happy Chanumas 1970-01-01 00:59:59 First thing is first. My father is Jewish, my mother is some sort of Christian denomination. She does not and has not since I popped out of her womb (prior to that-I have no idea) go to church or pray. The only thing she has ever said to me even remotely religious is "Spirituality is a deeply personal thing and you need to come into your own decisions on what you practice and believe"Wise words, but when your five it's like basically telling your kid "There is no god. Everything is made up" But my struggle with religion and spiritual crisis is a tale for another day. What I am trying to get at is that my mother, despite her aversion to anything religious, celebrated X-Mas. So as a child my family had a beautiful blend of Judeo-Christian celebration called Chanu-Mas (Seth Cohen-You and your piddling Chrismaka can kiss my ass).Chanu-Mas can be broken down thus: The Chanu portion includes lighting the candles, getting a small, usually crappy present on the 8th day and having t Read more:Happy
, Recap
My First Post from Work! 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Wow...I feel nervous and my palms are kind of shakey. I'm ultra aware of any noises that may come from around the corner, just waiting for someone to walk in and discover...I'm blogging.Yes, the above does seem ridiculous to me. I bet you thought I was masturbating right? The feeling is akin to being in high school, all nervous one of my parents would walk into my bedroom and find me in a compromising position of ecstasy.The fact that I am that nervous right now makes me feel like my emotions are not on par with reality. I understand that blogging is a firable offense and that many hardworking people have lost their jobs for just that, but come one. It just seems to me that when people where sneaking around working in the past, they were committing much more sinister offenses like money laundering or jacking off in their office.Side note:Maybe I could blog and masturbate? Or be like the naked blogger. That would maybe get me some audience? Once when I got stuck in the rain on my way Read more:First
New Year=New Blog 1970-01-01 00:59:59 As 2007 approaches and I begin my Resolutions List, alternatively titled "The Complete List of Everyting That is Wrong with My Life that I Promise to Change Every Year and Inevitably Fail At," subtitled "Why Do I Suck?". I feel it is is time to add something new to standard list. So this year along with dropping those twelve, okay fifteen, odd pounds, quitting smoking, learning to paint, making a million dollars and working towards world peace, I am resolving to write daily in this blog.I had no idea two hours ago when I started how consuming a process it is. My initial plan was to get on and bitch about what a shitty day/week its been between the snot that is continuously running from my now severely chaffed nose to my impatience and near brawl with the tourist in front of me at the deli salad line today who was taking forever ("Oooohh, do you have cheddar cheese. Mmmkay. Wait no. Do you have mozzarella? Yes! Okkkayy..what else? What else?). Yet, just creating the template and picking Read more:New Year
Office Party Survival 1970-01-01 00:59:59 'Tis the season to get wasted in front of your coworkers, make prolonged and awkward conversation with the guy from the mail room and make out with the intern. Yes, you guessed, it, it's the dreaded holiday party. That one night per year that inhibitions are throw to the wayside and common sense eludes you with abandon.This year,I promised myself to be good. Three moths into a new job, forgiveness would not be so easily forthcoming for dancing the electric slide and YMCA. Plus, I had to rise above my history of my singular office party at this company where I got loaded, made awkward conversation with the guy from the mail room (whom I can't for the life of me remember what I said, but it caused him to give me dirty looks for weeks following) and brought the intern home.Yeah, I'll admit it. I was "that girl." But tonight was different. I slowly sipped my very light vodka and cranberry and watched what I have looked like in previous years. And man, was it a sorry sight to see with s Read more:Party
Obesity and America's Youth 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Welcome to the first "Obesity in America
's Youth," subtitled "Your Kid is a Fat Ass." Why you might ask. Am I making a political statement about the delbilitating disease of obesity that is ravaging the youth of America because Hostess and Pepsi own our educational systems. Am I reaching out to the children whose parents idea of a four-square brown bagged lunch is cheetos and pizza? Am I making a plea for those who eat their feelings or are born into the unfortunate destiny because they come froma family with big-boned genes?In a word: No. In a sentence: Fat kids are funny and really freaking cute.Except for this one. He's digusting. If this is your kid...shoot him and then yourself.
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Obesity and America's Pets 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I know I was going to focus on fat babies because they are cute and funny. But you know what is even more cute and way more funny: FAT ANIMALS!
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Bringing in YK7 with Shitty Movies 1970-01-01 00:59:59 So today, the first day of the New Year, January 1st yk7, was spent doing nothing. Absolutely, positively unproductive. Mr. X and I spent the entire day in bed, naked watching movies, smoking pot, making out and at one point eating a themed 'cheese' delivery of cheese fries and philly cheesesteak in bed-a perfect start to the diet and my resolution to actually do something worthwhile in 2007.In my defense I did get up four times to go to the bathroom and all in all it was a great way to recover from a hangover. It also made me realize, and I am probably the last person with eyes and half a brain to reach this conclusion, that the current Hollywood movies are absolute and utter crap.Sure there have always been crappy flicks. I shamefully sat through BioDome, Freddy Got Fingered and Rich Kids. But you expected nothing from those film. Bottom scrapping sub-nothing. Movies currently get so hyped up, so over publicized that there is no way a person's expectations can match the actual fil
Home for the Holidays 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I haven't lived at home in Ohio for seven years and go back less than I should. It's depressing and joyous all wrapped in to one. My parents look a little older, greyer and saggier around the belly each time I see them, so while it is good to be near them, it hurts a little at the same time.My parents, in the wisdom of their old age, have somehow perfected a way to treat me like a ten year old (did you brush your teeth?) and like an adult--although a failure (how can you still be broke?) --all at the same time. Yet, now that I am older and removed from them, I feel like I exhibit the same behavior in return, questioning how they live and certain decisions that they make.Let me clarify though: My parents are odd. I have always known this. They were never like anyone else's family. Throwbacks from the sixties, my parents would listen to old Janis Joplin records and burn patchouli while meditating. They spouted Dylan quotes like most people quote the bible and were always open and free Read more:Holidays
Paging Capt Kirk: Amazon is taking applications 1970-01-01 00:59:59 A few days ago I was laughing my oblivious ass off about a journalist's request for opinions on holding meetings in space (Scroll to the bottom: http://bigappleblonde.blogspot.com/2007/01/morning-recap-of-nightly-insomnia.html) . At the time it seemed ridiculous. Apparently though, with the modern world's accelerated speed of technological advancement, I owe her an apology.The legitimacy of space travel as a viable option in the near future came to my attention yesterday when reading the New York Post. (It was also picked up by the AP and reported by everyone from MSNBC to The St. Petersburg Times). It seems that cyberspace Goliath Jeffrey Bezos, founder of Amazon
.com, is looking to make the journey into outer space, proving that with billions of dollars you can make even the most impossible dreams a reality.His company Blue Origin (see http://www.blueorigin.com/), whose novel goal (I'm sure the starving populations in third world countries and our equipmentless troops in Iraq would Read more:Paging
Morning Recap of Nightly Insomnia 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I was late to work today. I woke up at 6am as scheduled, felt all snuggly and warm in bed and proceeded to hit the snooze button with abandon. I arrived at work a full four hours later feeling like an asshole.On my seven block walk to work I recounted in my head the late hour in which I finally fell asleep. After I signed off the computer and I laid awake until 2am pondering the Rozerem commercial. Now I know that I am a little late on this one, but seeing as their web site still features Abe and the Beaver, I feel that it still holds relevance.Much has been made of this commercial and its out-of-the-box use of these two figures. ( Check out a couple at http://brandstory.typepad.com/writer/advertising/index.html) For a drug commercial, which usually features an uncomfortable looking man or women suffering from whatever ailment the pill cures followed by the long list of horrible side effects, this is revolutionary. Almost all ad people will tell you they hate it because its gimmicky an Read more:Recap
, Morning
, Nightly
, Insomnia
Obesity and America's Pets 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Garfield would either be very impressed or deeply ashamed.
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Thank you Juanita Sanchez! 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Thank you, thank you, thank you. Instead of addressing "my nonexistent readers" I can now address you. I checked out your blogs and as soon as I figure out and take the time to create a blog roll I will be sure to include you.
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Goodbye: A Tribute to 2007 and Beyond 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Today I accidentally wrote 2008 on a fed-ex slip. A Freduian blip, it was the written manifestation of my mindset since the weeks pre and post January 1st, in which I feel like I am constantly moving forward with a velocity not my own making, mouthing lost words of "Slow down," and "wait" while I feel a sense of loss for that which never really existed but could have, as things pass by without my will or consent.The New Year has never affected me before, especially two weeks into the new month. My only concern about its arrival was what sex-kitten outfit I would deck myself out in to watch the ball drop and who I would kiss during those first few seconds of fresh possibility. I would annually make and break my light-hearted resolutions with a sense of youthful invincibility. "I'll get around to quitting smoking next year" may as well be tatooed on that space in between my index and middle finger where a burning cigarette perpetually resides filling my lungs with tar and n Read more:Goodbye
Tired 1970-01-01 00:59:59 So tired that...my bones are literally aching,anchor heavy bones with lead marrowweighing me down with each step.A struggle between life and drowningas I try my best to make itto the 2 train...andjust miss it.Every fucking time.Seriously-every fucking god damn time!Nothing to do but sit downand slumpnext to woman slumpedlike shabbily dressed statue,her treasures overflowing out ofpush cart tenement,mobil mess absorbing me,washing over me in waves,becoming a part of my tired.Train comes bursting out of horizon,ten minutes to Union square,then up steps like currentsMore walking. Pushing. Pushing some more.Get the fuck out of my way!My arms hurt, my feet hurteven my sole hurts.My bones ache, heavy with lead.Anchor weighted bones dragging me down.On the street like water at midnight.Big puffy parka man shuffling tohis ipod, techno music blaring.Camel colored boot girlon cell phone announcing her drama. She's got her period. Lady with baby stroller... Love me.Please, please, please,can I
M Gets a Lesson in Buddhist Philosophy; Learn Hiprocrasy 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Flashback to Saturday night:My friend, the Political Animal, who is leaving New York to go and pursue a career on Capitol Hill was having a going away party at Bowery Bar. I invited a group of my friends to come and join the festivities. This group consists of four friends: The Urban Hippie, his girlfriend Stilleto J, Miss Priss and her roomate Fabulous Fashion Guy. They all went to college togther and have been friends since their freshman year. I met them through one of my college roomates who transfered to their school. This is the group that I usually spend holidays and birthdays with. We could almost be compared to the television show 'Friends' excluding the ridiculous large apartment and daily coffee breaks. The night was going greaet, all of standing around drinking one to many Red-Headed Sluts (we were at B-Bar afterall). While everyone else continued to drink, Urban Hippie and I got into a conversation about the new meditation class he is taking. A vegan who spends Read more:Buddhist
, Philosophy
M Turns Up Her Gaydar 1970-01-01 00:59:59 In New York it's damn near impossible to meet a closeted gay man. If a guy says he's not gay, you pretty much believe him no matter how shiny his shoes are or how many times you see him inappropriately eyeing other guys. For a long time I thought my friend FFG (Fabulous Fashion Guy) was closeted, a walking anomaly produced by a strict Catholic upbringing and Midwest values, but I have since changed my mind. How can someone live in New York for an elongated period of time (four years in his case) and not come out? Then today one of my coworkers friends stopped into the office, briefly said "hi" with an overtly dramatic wave of his hand (Wipe the window, wipe the window) and then left. Later during lunch my coworker made it known to another coworker that her friend thought she, SHE meaning of the vaginal biology, was "hot."All of us at once looked up from our deli salads in disbelief. "He's not gay?" was said in unison and pitch perfect harmony like some new pop song from Lance Bass.S
M Deals with Addictions, Longs for Chemicals with Flavor 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I am addicted to Parkay Spray Butter. Addicted. It is my edible nicotine, my liquid crack, my sweet, sweet, flavorful eight ball of meth. I love it so much, no meal is complete without it. I much prefer it to real butter (what is this thing-"real butter") and will spray it on anything, from toast to baked Doritos to chicken to vegetables and sometimes even cereal (when eaten milk-less and by the handful as a snack).With many of the above listed foods, I am only after the taste of the butter. The actual substance I am putting it on is just a holding place and a cover-up for this gross and disgusting habit. For example, instead of toast with Parkay, I will ask for Parkay with a side of bread. I have resisted shooting it right into my mouth, because hell, I do have some sense of self-discipline.I have been on the downward spiral with the sauce for around four years and can't quit. My parent and friends have expressed concern and I am aware that it is pure chemicals and will probably giv Read more:Flavor
M Questions Madison Avenue 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I just stumbled across this 1960's ad on the Internet and let me tell you that as a Jew, it made me somewhat nervous.While I've always known that Jew's love Levy's bread, I never realized Asians did too. What's next? Will they begin to hoard our matzah balls or add sweet and sour fish to the menu at Golden Wok #225? Somewhat disturbing seeing that they already have a pretty big slice of the ethnic food market.Editors note: Since no one actually reads this blog, if you see this it is probably for the first time. Please be aware I am not racist and completely joking.
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, Avenue
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