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Blonde patient 2007-01-10 11:30:00 A girl says to her doctor, "You have to help me. I hurt all over."
She touches her right knee with her index finger and says, "Ow! That hurts."
She touches her left cheek with her index finger and says, "Ouch! That hurts, too."
She touches her right earlobe with her index finger and says, "Ow! Even that hurts."
The doctor says, "Are you a natural blonde?"
She says, "Yes."
The doctor says, " Read more:Blonde
, patient
The secretary 2007-01-09 21:48:00 A guy's going on a business trip and he has to take his secretary with him, and she's really crazy about him. The first night on the train, she's in the top bunk and he's in the bottom bunk.She says, "Mr. Forsythe! Mr. Forsythe! I'm chilly! I think I need a blanket!"- He says, "Miss Schmitt, how'd you like to pretend you're Mrs. Forsythe for a little while?"- "I'd like that, Mr. Forsythe!"- "Then
20th mile 2007-01-08 21:20:00 The phone rings and the husband answers the phone.He just listens and then says "how the heck do I know... I live 20 miles from the ocean!" and he then hangs up.His wife asks what that was all about.He said," oh some idiot wants to know if the coast is clear."
Teacher watch your questions 2007-01-08 20:42:00 Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question.
- "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun how many would be left?"
- "None" replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away".
- "Well the answer is four" said the teacher, "but I like the way you are thinking".
Little Johnny says, "I have a question Read more:questions
, Teacher
, watch
Blond men 2007-01-07 16:41:00 Two blond men were sitting outside a medical clinic.
One of them was crying, tears pouring down his face.
The other blond man asked, "Why are you crying?"
The first one replied, "I came here for a blood test."
The second one asked, "So? What are you crying for? Are you afraid?"
The first guy replied, "No. Not that. During the blood test they cut off my finger."
Upon hearing this, the second man Read more:Blond
Couple of good ones on engineers 2007-01-07 14:01:00 These two jokes where sent by our friend Mack who has a beautiful blog here
Q:"what does an engineer use for birth control?"
A:"His personality!"
Q:"What is the difference between and engineer and God?"
A:"God doesn't think he's an engineer!"
Compiler 2007-01-06 17:56:00 This definition of "compiler" must rank as the BEST of the possible wrong answers.
Written by a student in a introductory Computer Science course.
"A compiler's primary function is to compile, organize the compilation, and go right back to compiling. It compiles basically only those things that require to be compiled, ignoring things that should not be compiled. The main way a compiler compiles,
Engineers bicycle 2007-01-06 17:52:00 Two engineers were standing in the park.
One had a new bike.
The other said, "Nice bike. How much?"
The first said , "It was free."
The other asked, "Wow, how did you get it for free?"
The one with the bike said," Yesterday a beatiful girl rode up on this bike, took off all her clothes and told me I could have anything I wanted."
The other enigneer said, "Good move! Her clothes wouldn't have fit Read more:bicycle
, Engineers
Fire department on fire 2007-01-05 16:38:00 A lady phones the fire department and says, "I want to report a fire in my house."The fireman on the other end says, "Where is it, lady""It's in the kitchen," she replies."No," he says, "I meant, how do we get there?""Well," she explains, "you can either come up the front walk, across the porch and through the living room, or you can come around back and up the stairs and it's right there.""I'm
The airline pilot 2007-01-05 16:24:00 An airline pilot with poor eyesight had managed to pass his periodic vision exams by memorizing the eye charts beforehand. One year, though, his doctor used a new chart that the pilot had never before seen. The pilot proceeded to recite the old chart and the doctor realized that she'd been hoodwinked.
Well, the pilot proved to be nearly blind as a bat. But the doctor could not contain her
The skirt and the zipper 2007-01-04 17:23:00 A woman was wearing a very tight skirt
.When she tried to board the Fifth Avenue bus she found she couldn't lift her leg.She reached back and unzipped her zipper
.It didn't seem to do any good, so she reached back and unzipped it again.Suddenly the man behind her lifted her up and put her on the top step of the bus.- "How dare you?" she demanded.- "Well, lady," he said, "by the time you unzipped my
Watch that fly 2007-01-04 17:14:00 There was a fly above the water.
A trout looked up and said, "if that fly drops 6 inches, I'll have myself some dinner."
There was a bear looking at the fly and trout. He said to himself, "If that fly drops 6 inches, the trout will jump up to get it, then I will have dinner."
A hunter was staring at the bear. He thought to himself, "If that fly drops 6 inches, the trout will jump and bear will
Questions for thinking 2007-01-03 20:42:00 - What is the speed of dark?- Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?- If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair ofearrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?- What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?- After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting outof the water?- If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?- What happened to the first Read more:thinking
Bobs assessment 2007-01-01 23:58:00 My boss asked me for a letter describing my partner Bob Smith, and
this is what I wrote:
1. Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
2. hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
3. wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
4. thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
5. finishes given assignments on time. Often Bob takes extended
Hello to all. 2006-10-09 11:17:00 Hi everyone and welcome to this laughing blog.
e Laughs's only purpose is to provide a happy break to our lives.
I will post every funny mail i 've been sent to share some laughs with you.
Feel free to post your comments.
Cheers everyone.
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LINK EXCHANGE PROGRAM
------------------------------- Read more:Hello
Desparate women and lonely men 2007-01-11 18:08:00 A woman is fast approaching 40 years of age and is without a partner. This situation has her rather depressed due to her long history of failed relationships. After much debate she decides that the best thing to do is to take out a personal ad in the paper:
Wanted: A good lover to be my friend; who won't beat me and won't run out on me.
After a week or so no one has responded to the ad.
Tail Tale 2007-01-11 23:56:00 A mother, father and young son are visiting the circus.
The elephants walk out into the circus ring and the little boy says to his mother,
- "What's that?"
- "That's the elephant's tail," she replies.
- "No, under the tail," says the youngster.
The mother is clearly embarrassed and says,
- "Oh, nothing."
The boy turns to his father and repeats the same question. His father looks and says,
- "
Hierarchy in action 1970-01-01 00:59:59 When the staff goes out together after work, they talk about football or basketball.When middle management gets together, they talk about tennis or baseball.Top management discusses golf.Conclusion:The higher up you are in management, the smaller your balls are ;-)PS: I hope my manager hasn't subscribed here!!
Read more:Hierarchy
Sweet home Alabama kid 1970-01-01 00:59:59 It was the first day of Grade Three in a new town for Johnny. As a test, his teacher went around the room and asked each of the students to count to 50.Some did very well, counting as high as 30 or 40 with just a few mistakes. Others couldn't get past 20.Johnny, however, did extremely well; he counted past 50, right up to 100 without any mistakes. He was so excited that he ran home and told his
Read more:Alabama
, Sweet
Bald people 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Two friends are talking while having their coffee
- "I feel bad when i see bald people
" says the one
- "Why?" asks the other, "Are you afraid of becoming one of them?"
- "Nope. It's because i have a comb factory"
Sorry blogger 1970-01-01 00:59:59 We are sorry for the error that occured earlier at blogger but i am afraid this will happen againSo backup your work ladies and gentlemen 'cause there is going to be lots of lol bouncing coming up ;-)
Slip into something comfortable for the IRS 1970-01-01 00:59:59 A Jewish debtor, called in for an audit at the IRS (International Revenue Service), asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. "Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper."Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. "Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie."Confused, the man went to his rabbi, told him of the
Read more:something
Voices in my head 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Howard had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. Even at night, he could find no solace, and turned fitfully in frustrating attempts to fall asleep.But, every once in a while, he'd hear that soothing voice trying to reassure him -"HOWARD, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. YOU AREN'T THE FIRST DOCTOR TO SLEEP
Read more:Voices
Scientists at their best 1970-01-01 00:59:59 An astronomer, biologist, an engineer and a mathematician were crossing the border into Scotland from England on a train when they saw a field with a black sheep in it.
The astronomer said, "Look! All sheep on Earth are black."
The biologist said, "Look, in Scotland the sheep are black."
The engineer replied, "No, in Scotland some of the sheep are black."
The mathematician rolled his eyes to
Castaway 1970-01-01 00:59:59 A hurricane came unexpectedly.The ship went down and was lost.The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, nosupplies, nothing. Only bananas and coconuts. Used to 5-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do, so for the next four months he ate bananas,drank coconut juice and longed for his old life and fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship.One
Road trip 1970-01-01 00:59:59 (Note: This joke was sent to us by our friend Chuck)
Leaving Minnesota for Colorado, I decide to make a stop at one of those rest areas on the side of the road. I go in the washroom. The first stall was taken so I went in the second stall. I just sat down when I hear a voice from the next stall...
- "Hi there, how is it going?"
Okay, I am not the type to strike conversations with strangers in
Train slap 1970-01-01 00:59:59 This joke was sent by the Champion Wrestler and honorable member of our blog, Tigre Marino
4 people are on a train ride, an old lady and a beautiful woman facing forward a dandy american and a mexican.
The train gets into a tunnel, and everything inside it goes dark.
Then, a long kiss sounds followed by a slap.
The train goes out of the tunnel, and the dandy american is rubbing his right
Read more:Train
Smart kid 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Bill and Marla deceided that the only way to pull off a quickie on Sunday afternoon, avoiding disturbance from their ten-year-old son in the apartment, was to send him out on the balcony and order to report on all the neighborhood activities.
The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation.
"There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he said.
"An ambulance just
Read more:Smart
The One ticket experiment 1970-01-01 00:59:59 3 engineers and 3 accountants are travelling by train to a conference. At the station, the 3 accountants each buy tickets and watch as the 3 engineers buy only a single ticket.
- "How are 3 people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant.
- "Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer.
They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers
The brotherhood of Irishmen 1970-01-01 00:59:59 An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would
taste better if you bought one at a time."
The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers.
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