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An obsessed patient 1970-01-01 00:59:59 A middle age man had an obsession with women's breasts. So he went to a psychologist and told the doctor about his problem.- "I am going to do word-association. I am going to say a word and you will say the first thing that come to your mind," explained the doctor; "Oranges," said the doctor. - "Breasts," replied the patient
.- "Apples."- "Breasts."- "Watermelons."- "Breasts."- "Wipers."- "Breasts
Read more:obsessed
The value of time 1970-01-01 00:59:59 To realize the value of ONE YEARAsk a student who has failed his exam.To realize the value of ONE MONTHAsk a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.To realize the value of ONE WEEKAsk an editor of a weekly.To realize the value of ONE DAYAsk a daily wage labor.To realize the value of ONE MINUTEAsk a person who has missed the train.To realize the value of ONE SECONDAsk a person who has
Actual statements found on insurance forms 1970-01-01 00:59:59 The following are actual statements found on insurance
forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the detail of an accident in the fewest words possible. The instances of faulty writing serve to confirm that even incompetent writing may be highly entertaining:Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.The other car collided with mine without giving warning
3 engineers and a broken car 1970-01-01 00:59:59 This joke was sent to us by Tigre Marino3 engineers travel on a desert road in a good old '76 VW Beetle. One is a mechanical engineer, the second one is an electric engineer and the last one is a computer engineer.The VW Beetle starts making weird engine noises and stops. Then, the mechanical engineer goes back, looks at it for a couple hours and gives his veredict:"This thing needs a
Is it a typo in Google startup page? 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Google's startup search page has an image specifically design for today's valentine day but if you watch a bit closer it seems like they've forgotten the L letter from the word Google.
What do you think? Click here to see Google's startup page
Read more:Google
The I files (or the definition of luck) 1970-01-01 00:59:59 The Insurance FilesThis is an actual report that was turned in by a brick mason after an injury.This is what he said to his employer:When I got to the building, I found that the hurricane had knocked off some bricks from the top.So - I rigged up a beam with a pulley at the top of the building, and I hoisted up a couple of barrels full of bricks.When I had fixed the damaged area, there were a lot
Read more:files
Outer space zero gravity authors 1970-01-01 00:59:59 During the heat of the space race in the 1960's, the U.S. National Aeronauticsand Space Administration (N.A.S.A.) decided it needed a ball point pen to write in the zero gravity
confines of its space capsules. After considerable research and development, the Astronaut Pen was developed at a cost of about $1 million U.S. The pen worked and also enjoyed some modest success as a novelty item back
Read more:authors
, Outer space
Beware of the chocolate peanuts 1970-01-01 00:59:59 A preacher visits an elderly woman from his congregation. As he sits on the couch he notices a large bowl of peanuts on the coffee table.
- "Mind if I have a few" he asks.
-"No, not at all" the woman replied.
They chat for an hour and as the preacher stands to leave, he realizes
that instead of eating just a few peanuts, he emptied most of the bowl.
-"I'm terribly sorry for eating all your
Read more:Beware
Alexander Graham Bell telephony invention 2008-03-03 14:23:56 Celebrating the AlexanderGraham
Bell's birthday (3 March 1847 – 2 August 1922), we dedicate the following jokes in his memory :Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone,"Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir."Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he asked, "What do you want?""Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "I'm just here to hook up your telephone."One night, Jim and Betty were fast asleep when all of a sudden the phone rings. Jim wakens and goes Read more:telephony
For the birds - short comic video by Pixar 2008-02-17 15:54:34 I love Pixar
. Each and every video
from those guys is a masterpiece. I really am a fan of their creations and i cannot hide it.So here it is. One of the best short comic videos i've ever seen.I really enjoyed it. I promise you will too.
Funniest drowning prank on the web 2008-01-19 17:42:26 This prank is one of the funniest i 've seen on t.v. The poor victims have gone crazy seeing the guy sinking in the water. I was a bit anxious to see what's going to happen and the video clip never showed what that sinking guy did underwater. It was a cool prank though. One of the funniest around. Enjoy :)
Read more:drowning
January 1 TCP/IP celebration joke 2008-01-09 05:45:39 The following joke is dedicated to the celebration
of the birthday of internet in January
1, 1983. In the early 1970's Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) gave birth to the Internet Protocol. In 1975, two TCP/IP communication tests were carried out between Stanford University and the University College of London (UCL). In November 1977, three network TCP/IP tests were conducted between the United States, United Kingdom and Norway. Between 1978 and 1983, several other TCP/IP prototypes have been developed at many research centers. The total changeover to TCP/IP from the ARPANET was held on January 1, 1983In memory of that day, we dedicate the following joke :A grade school teacher was asking his pupils what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first. What does your mot
Office remodelled 2008-01-02 03:00:28 Lot of work lately... not much time left for bathroom..Well, say hello to my new office.... it was lately remodelled and redecorated with state of the art gadgets and devices...PS: Does the word : hemoroids means anything to you??
Anecdote: Thief ensnared by stolen pager 2007-12-28 01:13:03 LONDON (Reuters) -- A British man trapped the thief who stole his pager by leaving a message saying he had won 500 pounds ($835) in a competition. David Withers lost the pager when his car was broken into. Builder Justin C.......k, ensnared in the simplest of stings, was fined 150 pounds ($251) for being in possession of stolen
property after answering the message. Withers told reporters: "I was fuming when I found my car had been broken into. I called police and then decided to leave the message. Not long afterwards, my mobile rang and a shady-sounding voice asked about the prize. "I told him he had won 500 pounds in a church fete and that I had paged him because I did not want to send the money by post.The police arrested the idiot when he came to collect the prize.I could not believe a Read more:Thief
Anecdote: NEW VIRUS WARNING 2007-12-28 01:12:45 If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of "Badtimes," delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it.This is the most dangerous Email virus yet.It will re-write your hard drive.Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer.It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream melts and milk curdles .It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, reprogram your ATM access code, screw up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number.It will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.It will drink all your beer and leave its dirty socks on the coffee table when there's company coming over.It will hide your car keys when you a
Anecdote: Revenge of the husband 2007-12-28 01:10:33 Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."The husband says, "WHAT??"The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman.The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. She can't decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them. Then they go over and get matching shoes worth $200 each. And then they go to the Jewelry Department where she gets a set of diamondear rings.The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out -- but she does not care. She Read more:Revenge
26 quick training courses for women 2007-12-28 00:59:33 1. Silence, The Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before.2. The Undiscovered Side Of Banking: Making Deposits3. Combating The Imelda Marcos Syndrome: You Don't Need New ShoesEveryday4. Parties: Going Without New Outfits5. Man Management: Discover How Minor Household Chores Can Wait Until After The Game.6. Bathroom Etiquette 1: Men Need Space In The Bathroom Cabinet Too7. Bathroom Etiquette 2: His Razor Is His8. Communication Skills 1: Tears - The Last Resort, Not The First9. Communication Skills 2: Thinking Before Speaking10. Communication Skills 3: Getting What You Want, Without Nagging11. Driving A Car Safely: A Skill You Can Acquire12. Party Etiquette: Drinking Your Fair Share13. Telephone Skills: How To Hang Up14. Introduction to Parking15. Introduction to Petrol16. Advanced Park
10 Reasons why Greeks could not be responsible for Sept. 11 2007-12-28 00:59:10 10. 8:45am is too early for them to be up.9. They are always late, they would have missed all 4 flights.8. Pretty people on the plane distract them.7. They would talk loudly and bring attention to themselves.6. Food and drinks were on the plane.5. They talk with their hands, they would probably have put their weapons down.4. They would all want to fly the plane.3. They would argue and start a fight in the plane.2. They would have told everyone a week before doing it.1. They would have put the Greek flag on the windshield.
Read more:Reasons
, Greeks
Weather man VS cockroach 2007-12-22 08:42:44 Someone had the idea of throwing a cockroach in the studio. The weather man came on the set and a happy acquaintance took place ;)Very funny. Enjoy :)
The environment has a chance : Kangaroo farts 2007-12-10 15:08:50 (As seen on metro.co.uk )According to scientists, the environment has another chance
with kangaroo's gas emitions.Studies show that their farts
are fighting global warming. Thanks to a special bacteria in their stomachs, kangaroos do not emit harmful methane gas when they let off a stinker. Australian scientists are now planning to transfer that bacteria into cows and sheep to make their flatulence eco-friendly.
Divorced Barbie doll takes all 2007-11-27 12:47:42 A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter's birthday and he hadn't bought her a present.He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager:-"How much is that new Barbie
in the window?"The Manager replied:-"Which one do you like? We have"Barbie goes to the gym" for $19.95,"Barbie goes to the Ball" for $19.95,"Barbie goes shopping" for $19.95,"Barbie goes to the beach" for $19.95,"Barbie goes to the Nightclub" for $19.95 and"Divorced
Barbie" for $375.00 ....- "Why is the Divorced Barbie $375.00 when all the others are $19.95?",the father interrupted...The store manager replied:"Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's car, Ken's house, Ken's boat, Ken's dog, Ken's cat, Ken's furniture and all of Ken's savings."
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