Owner: Oh, The Joys URL:http://othejoys.blogspot.com Join Date: Mon, 08 Jan 2007 13:11:08 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: My husband and I have two babies. They are fifteen months apart. The work load is crazy. When it all gets to be too much, we look at eachother and say sarcastic things like, "Oh, the joys" and "Our lives are so rich and full - are you experiencing the ric Site statistics:Click here
The Name of the Rose 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Now back to our regularly scheduled butt and poo programming...
Not too long ago The Mayor learned that everyone has a little hole in their butt for making poo poo, himself being no exception.
Since that time he's become a little obsessed with his own little hole and all that the hole... um, accomplishes. Lately, when he gets a diaper change he wants to incessantly talk about his "
More Evidence of True Dorkhood 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Last night after we got under the covers...
[way too late for people with children who rise at 6:00 a.m.]
K and I were talking about concerts we had seen way back when we were young, wild and free.
"My first concert was the best," K said. "I saw The Who and The Clash at Shea Stadium in 1983.
"I am, fer shure, like, so totally much cooler than you," I told him.
My first concert was Sha Na Na Read more:Evidence
Chillin' with Dana 1970-01-01 00:59:59 This morning The Mayor asked K to get him one of the blue cold packs from the freezer.
"What do you need it for, Mayor?" K asked.
"I want to rub it on Mommy's boobies."
[Ho no you ain't neither!]
"I don't think Mommy would like that Mayor."
"Okay, then can we put it on my butt?"
...and the next thing you know The Mayor was strapped into an ace bandage holding an ice pack on his rear.
Dana
Shut Up About Park Rangers Already You Freak 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Alas, another Valentine's Day passed without any Park Ranger action.
No one can accuse me of not giving it my best effort - even in the eleventh hour...
-----Original Message-----
From: Oh, The Joys [mailto:ohthejoys(at)gmail.com]
Sent: Wednesday, February 14, 2007 9:02 AM
To: Mike (K's former boss and former chief ranger in charge of large U.S. National Park)
Subject: Happy Valentine's Read more:Rangers
, Freak
Hurry, Hurt My Ears 1970-01-01 00:59:59 The Little Nut Tree tagged me for a meme.
She asked me what would be the last three songs I would listen to if I could only listen to three more songs and then never hear music again.
[No more music EVER?]
For about 13 seconds I tried to think of the coolest songs, the bestest songs, the songs that would make the whole world gasp for air upon fully understanding my ultimate coolness.
And Read more:Hurry
Ho, Prah Joys 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I was shaving in the shower the other day...
Voice in my head #1:
I need my eyebrows done.
(Sigh)
It would be so much easier if women could just shave their eyebrows.
Voice in my head #2:
Put. The Razor. Down.
Step away from the razor.
Cuff her, girls!
Voice in my head #1 (to #2):
Did you say "Cover Girls?"
I like it.
Nurture, Nature, Schmurture, Schmature 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I was on the floor engaging in some of my signature horizontal parenting when suddenly I was beseiged by children giving me rasberries on the stomach.
Then The Mayor moved up to look me in the eye and said,
"I'm gonna lick yer face!" and proceeded to give me a giant slobbery lick up the whole left side of my face.
He's just like his father.
Though, I guess there is some of me in him as well.
Living with Loons 1970-01-01 00:59:59 The Husband
K was getting undressed for bed...
"I didn't set up the coffee for tomorrow. I'm NOT going to. I'm living on the edge. I'm CRAZZZZY," he said.
Then he did a naked, gyrating booty dance of craziness (which I really enjoyed!).
He's mad, MAD I tell you!
(Updated: A photo of the naked, gyrating booty dance is sadly unavailable, though I can assure you if there were one it would be Read more:Living
Wench Meme 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Per the request of Christina the Wench:
Things I Want to do Before I Die
1.) See my children grow to adulthood
2.) See my grandchildren
3.) Poop alone
4.) Get Kevin alone in a Park Ranger uniform
5.) Buy new underwear
Things I Can Not Do
1.) Wink my right eye
2.) Climb a rope or do a pull up
3.) Kill bugs
4.) Get my son to stop picking his nose
5.) Eat cake
Things I Can Do
1.) Swim butterfly
Halloween meme 1970-01-01 00:59:59 This meme is provided at the request of Domestic Goddess...
1 - What was the scariest movie you have ever seen?
Angel Heart
2- What was your favorite Halloween
costume as a child?
My best friend's mom hand-beaded her an Isis costume.
Zephyr winds that blow on high...
Life me now so I can fly...
Oh, Mighty Isis!I was way jealous.
3- Given enough money what would be your fantasy Halloween
Chicken & Cheese for Six 1970-01-01 00:59:59 The great mother of The Poo asked me to do that meme where you provide a list of six weird things about yourself.
The thing is, Melanie in Orygun asked me to do that awhile back and you can see it here.
Since I've been tagged for this by a few other bloganistas, like the great and powerful QueenBadd, I decided to try again...
Because having a National Park Ranger Fetish, coming to Jesus the Read more:Chicken
, Cheese
True Love & The NEW Floss 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Not much to report today from The House of Joy...
Only this little exchange between two tired, old married people brushing their teeth at the late, late hour of 9:43 p.m. last night...
K: My nipple itches.
Me: (with a mouthfull of toothpaste) Wan me ta scatch it wiff my teef?
Love is a many splendored thing. Read more:True Love
How Long to Nurse Your Wolverine 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I love looking at the site meter to see what wacky google searches brought people to this web site.
The best one this week was:
How long should Wolverine
babies nurse?
I had to look for a Wolverine photo online.
I thought a Wolverine was a college team mascot or something.
Me so genius.
This is a Wolverine:
The Wolverine has little pointy teeth and sharp claws.
[Think of tender, Read more:Nurse
Cary and Isaac through Time and Space 1970-01-01 00:59:59 My Granny grew up on a dairy farm in a very rural part of southern Virginia, so rural that even now you have to drive twenty miles to buy a can of coca-cola.
When I was growing up my Granny's brothers ran the farm and my cousin Cary grew up there.
My brother and I worshiped Cary. He was our hero.
When my brother and I would visit the farm Cary would fill our days with country adventures.
From Read more:Isaac
, Space
What? Who Me? 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Oh, the startled blogger!
BethGo at It's Really Me has nominated me as a thinking blogger.
That really surprised me.
Some of the bloggers I read and love that I have seen nominated already are consistently great writers.
Bub and Pie
Under the Mad Hat
One Plus Two
Fluttercrafts
These bloggers always take time to write thoughtful, insightful posts and when I saw each one of them
Sunday Linky Mo-Jinky 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I've been reading some powerful and amazing posts lately.
The Powerful
Have you seen Melanie's amazing piece on making time slow down? Wow.
Ever the great writer, Fluttercrafts wrote a bold piece on forgiveness that blew me away.
BethGo got me with this piece about being adopted.
I have been a complete SLAVE to Memoirs of a Dysfunctional Housewife's series that starts here. (There are links Read more:Sunday
Flavorful Fiber for $100, Alex 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I am so HONGRY lately.
Ever since I confessed on the internet about how Mom-O-Matic and I were going to roll in the hay together, everyone has known that I'm a slave to the effing weight watchers points lest The Lady Flabina rear her ugly head.
Counting the points.... grrrrrrr.
I lift half of my upper lip in a snarl of disdain at the points.
Ha!
[And then I totally come groveling back and Read more:Flavorful
, Fiber
A Post to Follow the One about Fiber 1970-01-01 00:59:59 "Please don't let me poop on the table!!"
This was the mantra of my "pregnancy group", which later became my "new mom's group" and is now my "weary, run-down mom's group."
When we began meeting, we were five women, all pregnant for the first time, all scheduled to give birth within four months of each other.
In the months leading up to our due dates, we shared the good, the bad and the ugly Read more:Fiber
Starting Early 1970-01-01 00:59:59 At the end of each work day I hang out at The Mayor and Rooster's daycare for a little while.
Sudden transitions are not popular with The Mayor.
We take our time.
The other day I waited for him as he wrapped up the "Mr. Potato head has 4,000 sets of teeth" activity he invented.
I absent-mindedly watched The Rooster smash graham crackers on the play table. (Is that wrong of me?)
Other mom's Read more:Early
Keeping My Teeth Out of My Intestines 2007-03-02 14:12:00 This family of baboons shops at an amazing international farmer's market. (Which can get parents of toddlers in trouble with women in burkas.)
Yesterday I went into the small packaged food section of my farmer's market to buy loose leaf tea.
I have been recklessly abusing the loose tea and getting myself all hopped up and wigged out on the caffeine each and every day.
I AM THE CAFFEINATRIX!
Perfect Chicken, Perfect Cheese 2007-03-01 13:00:00 This month I nominated Chicken
and Cheese
for a Perfect
Post award for this post which covered a universal emotion all parents share.
Mrs. Chicken is a lovely, talented writer and it was hard to only nominate one post. Blasted RULES! Arg.
I also loved her writing on grief and home.
I read her blog every day.
Props to the Chicken! W00T!
Click on the award button to see all the winners!
Joyzilla: Terrifying Naked Woman! (and more about butts) 2007-03-05 13:57:00 It wouldn't be Oh, The Joys if I didn't talk about butts again today.
Butts, butts, butts!
This blog is a veritable Butt Fiesta!
Yesterday I was in the locker room at the YMCA changing into my clothes after a swim and a shower.
A young girl was helping an even younger boy, presumably her brother, use the bathroom.
As he was finishing she said, "Now let's go and buy some chips!"But the wee, Read more:Terrifying
Local Flavor 2007-03-06 14:01:00 I don't know that much about the state of Idaho.
I only traveled there once for my pal Hal's wedding.
When my friend Deana and I arrived at the airport rent-a-car place we were really hungry.
So we asked the rent-a-car staff if they could recommend a restaurant where we could enjoy some of the local Boise flavor.
They scratched their heads.
They tilted their heads to one side and then the Read more:Local
, Flavor
Lie To Me, Sweet Pants 2007-03-07 14:19:00 The jeans I'm wearing today come up OVER my belly button.
Hellooooooooooo, Mom jeans!
Call me a loser, call me a dork.
I don't care.
These jeans LIE.
They lie in a good way, but liar, liar pants on fire do they lie.
Lyin' britches.
They are lying flatterers, these pants.
The little number inside? The SIZE number...
...is a size smaller than I REALLY wear.
Big, fat LYING Mom jeans I Read more:Sweet
, Pants
Love Lives Forever 2007-03-08 13:00:00 K's father passed away just hours after Christmas Day ended the year K was sixteen years old.
I have many friends who have lost a parent at a young age and all of them continue to grieve.
I know K still misses his father -- on both extraordinary and ordinary days.
Days like the ones when he graduated from high school from college.
The day he got married or the days his children were born. Read more:Lives
, Forever
George The Blog Monkey 2007-03-09 18:53:00 Momish asked me, "Why do you blog?"
I’ve been struggling with the answer.
A few years ago I went away for the weekend with my girlfriends from college.
My friend Ponygirl told the rest of us she was spending too much time reading blogs.
She got blank stares from the rest of us.
Huh?
What’s a blog?
An online diary?
Who would want one of those?
Psshhhhhhh.
Months later she sent me Read more:George
They're both Greek, but is SHE so FUNNY? 2007-03-09 15:39:00 Have I told you lately that I plan to build my retirement home right up in Kevin Charnas' nostrils? It's true.
Once again, I have to bow down before His Royal Funny-ness and lick his very royal baby toe for making me laugh and laugh and laugh.
Just look at the lengths he will go to make your whole day. Seriously, look here.
I nominated him for a February ROFL for going the distance on Read more:Greek
When I Grow Up, I'm Gonna Be Old 2007-03-12 12:56:00 When a man is nearly forty the time comes for him to spend $29.95 so that he no longer has to carry his tennis things in the bag he used as a bicycle courier in Washington D.C. nearly twenty years ago.
Oh, great moment of moments! You finally arrived at The House of Joy!
Let us go then, let us venture forth to the sporting goods super store. Hallelujah!
The Family Joy thusly ventured forth to
Real Moms Need Support 2007-03-13 13:01:00 So... Crank Mama tagged me to carry on Kristen's Real Mom's Meme.
I am a real mom.
I get up at the butt crack of dawn and pick noses.
[...and not just my own.]
This Real Mom Picks Boogers
Each morning I wrestle with two, larger-than-average, feral cats and dig the goo out of their noses and eyes.
Each evening, I cook a nutritious and delicious meal.
This Real Mom Cooks
Then I leave Read more:Support
, Real Moms
Joy On Demand 2007-03-15 13:00:00 Amy at Spina Bifida Moms asked me to write a post on the theme of Joy as part of the MSO Theme of the Week.
I've been totally perplexed by this request.
You know why?
Because I, "Oh, The Joys" have spent the week wondering what I could POSSIBLY post on the theme of joy.
Oh, THE IRONY.
Particularly ironic considering that clicking on my post tag: "The Joys" leads to 47 nuggets of completely
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