Owner: The Butter Stick URL:http://thebutterstick.wordpress.com Join Date: Mon, 12 Nov 2007 10:50:36 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: The Butter Stick; A raw Conservative rant of fake news, satire, and tabloids. Today's youth is misled. One bite of the Butter Stick, and their morals, values, and method of thought will be renewed, rejuvinated and fattened.
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Suicide Bomber Crashes into Hotdog Stand Killing Hundreds 2007-11-17 14:38:35 Around 100 people have been killed, many more injured and hospitalized, as an Islamic suicide bomber crashed into a traditional New York City hotdog stand in Manhattan. Police confirm the attack was part of the Islamic “jihad” begun after September 11th.
At approximately 4:35 pm Friday on East 53rd Street, Manhattan, NY, an enraged taxi-cab suicide [...] Read more:Bomber
, Crashes
, Hundreds
, Killing
, Stand
, Suicide
US Mint to Release One-Sided Coin 2007-11-15 19:55:49 The United States Mint is proud to release its newest line of 24-karat gold and silver coins. The new American Buffalo Coin, to be in the public’s hands by September 2008, is unique in that it is abnormally “one-sided.” A three-dimensional object unconditionally lacking a reverse side.
Since their primary roll into banks in June of [...] Read more:Release
Woman Gives Birth to Herself 2007-11-13 20:09:33 Sondra Waldron was the first woman in known world history to give birth. To herself. Following a brutal forty-seven hours of labor Yellowpoint Community Hospital, in Yellowpoint, Quebec, the woman’s newborn turned out to be non other than herself. Scientists, doctors, creationists, and religious leaders around the world are bewildered and baffled by the unexpected [...]
Family Locked in Supermarket Over Veteran’s Day Weekend Starves 2007-11-12 16:09:14 A family of four was found starved to death in a Save-A-Lot in Indiana this morning by two employees. It was said they were locked inside the grocery store over Veteran
’s Day weekend and died of malnourishment.
Carmel Indiana is a rapidly grown suburban city near Indianapolis. Ian Fairfax opened Save-A-Lot just two years ago and [...] Read more:Family
, Locked
, Supermarket
, Weekend
Brawl Between Spanish King and Hugo Chavez 2007-11-11 12:27:16 The King of Spain, Juan Carlos I, and the Socialist President of Venezuela, Hugo Chavez
, were inches and words away from a bare-knuckle fist fight at a Latin American/Iberian summit that included European nations Spain and Portugal. King Carlos furiously ended Chavez’s communist rants shouting, “Why don’t you just SHUT UP?”
On multiple occasions, Chavez angrily [...] Read more:Brawl
, Spanish
Al Gore Checks In to Overeaters Anonymous 2007-11-10 14:52:50 The Global Warming fanatic who recently won a Nobel Peace Prize for his environmental scare tactics was spotted at an Overeaters Anonymous Los Angeles meeting by a rehab member. Since Gore’s humiliating public defeat to George Bush in the 2000 Presidential election, the former Clinton Vice-President has put on an overwhelming 103lbs.
Food binges are common of depressed individuals [...]
Tony Blair to Move to United States 2007-11-08 17:21:05 Following his termination of office as third-term Prime Minister of Great Britain, and replaced by the Conservative Gordon Brown, Tony Blair
wishes for a new lifestyle, a cleansing. In a recent interview, the moderate ‘New’ Labour Party member has stated his complete withdrawal from British politics and the isle all together.
A close relative of the [...] Read more:States
, Tony Blair
, United
, United States
Chavez Preaches Wiccan Book To Venezuelans 2007-11-06 19:09:24 Hugo Chavez
has openly declared his new conversion to Wicca, a nature-based religion, early Monday morning. To the astonishment of many followers, or Chavistas, he has already begun pushing the conversion of the entire nation to Wicca with a fully televised announcement.
Wicca is an ancient nature-based religion with converts scattered all over the world. Wiccan
s, meaning “naked [...]
California Blaze Creates Tree-Hugging Ceremony 2007-11-06 17:32:33 The most recent northern California
forest fire, caused by an eight year old boy on a family hiking trip, has started mass rallies of environmentalists, conservationists, and other Californians in an effort to save the burning trees. This afternoon, at least fourteen thousand members of the Californian Green Institute, the Save Mother Earth Group, and [...] Read more:Blaze
, Ceremony
, Creates
, Hugging
Keep Lethal Injection! 2007-11-05 20:30:16 Since 1968, when Texas first introduced this efficient method of execution, the lethal injection has had minimal, if any opposition. Why? Because it works, does it not? This year however, one will find it hard to commute to work and back without hearing about another tragic story of murderers suffering hours of excruciating pain whilst [...] Read more:Injection
, Lethal
Communism Found in Imported Chinese Toys 2007-11-23 18:02:18 In the most recent wave of Chinese
imports to the shores of California, a surprising shipment discovery will lead to more secure border, economy, and manufacturing inspection controls. The trade agreement signed with the Chinese dictatorship ultimately backfired when it was found that imported children’s toys were coated not only in dangerous lead-based paints, but [...] Read more:Communism
Editorial: Thank The Pilgrims For Thanksgiving 2007-11-22 12:56:05 Thanksgiving is the day we give “Thanks.” In 1629, exiled Pilgrims from the shores of England landed on Plymouth Rock for one thing: helping the starving Indians and spreading the word of the Lord for salvation.
Most of us do not think of it as more than “Turkey Day,” when families gather around the dining room [...] Read more:Thank
, Thanksgiving
Editorial: The Illegal Immigration & Terrorism Deal 2007-11-20 20:45:52 Illegal immigrants are terrorists and terrorists are illegal immigrants, 98% of the time. How can we combat both efficiently, cost effectively, and ethically? It is called the Illegal Immigration & Terrorism
Deal, and here is how it goes.
Immigrants who swim the Rio Grande and jump the fence to get into the country do so illegally. [...]
Mexican Trees Found To Be Invading American Soil 2007-11-28 21:08:55 A recent discovery made by Southern mountainman Drew Alanzio showed that Mexican
trees are far more common than our good ol’ American
trees. We followed Mr. Alanzio out into the wilderness on a hot summer day near the Southern American border only to be shocked at our speculation - Mexican trees had indeed started their invasion. Out [...] Read more:Trees
Ron Paul Introduces Get Rich Quick Scheme 2007-11-27 17:59:08 2008 Republican hopeful and representative of the Fourteenth Congressional District of Texas, Ron Paul
, is the media’s most popular and publicized candidate since Howard Dean’s speech meltdown four years ago. A professional in the field of fund raising, and currently the holder of more than $53 million in campaign funds, Paul is releasing the latest [...] Read more:Quick
, Scheme
CNN/YouTube GOP Debate 2007-12-01 21:30:43 In case you missed the CNN
/YouTube
Republican Debate
, The Right Place has a full summary of the aired event.
It can be read here
Drinking Age Lowered to “This Many” 2007-12-01 20:56:59 In an act of independency from the rest of the United Kingdom, the Irish Parliament (Oireachtas) recently passed a novel federal bill which lowered the nation’s drinking age to “this many.” The bill was passed 54 to 6 on November 30 by the Seanad Oireachtas (senators of national parliament).
The bill, titled the “Drink If You [...] Read more:Drinking
, ldquo
, rdquo
Buddhist Monk Counts to Infinity 2007-12-15 21:21:15 Sung Moon, a Buddhist
monk from Tibet, China spent his entire childhood and adulthood doing one thing: reciting numbers. Since first learning how to speak and count numbers, it has been the only thing this holy man has done for the past 78 years of his life.
At four A.M., Saturday morning, the numerical whispers rhythmically [...] Read more:Buddhist Monk
, Counts
, Infinity
Editorial: Kucinich Wants Hammer & Sickle Healthcare 2007-12-10 19:50:00 Universal healthcare. Socialized medicine. Dennis Kucinich
for President. Multiple synonyms for one thing - communism in the United States.
Dennis Kucinich, a Democrat, is the only candidate in either party with a plan for universal, single-payer, not-for-profit healthcare. But let's take a look at his credibility - he was also the only Democratic candidate that voted [...] Read more:Hammer
, Healthcare
Editorial: Mitt Romney is Our Preacher 2007-12-07 17:54:44 He’s a Mormon, and I’m a Catholic, but we’re both the common Christian conservative fighting for a moral high ground and the establishment of good, clean, family values in the homes of every American. Romney
.htm">Mitt Romney
’s defense of a religious America at the last Republican debate was nothing less of heroically outstanding.
The GOP rectified most [...]
The Butter Stick Goes to Romania 2007-12-16 20:08:39 Pack your bags, the ButterStick
, your favorite neo-conservative news corporation, is visiting formerly Communist Bloc Romania in Eastern Europe, the lesser and more deprived of the two Europes.
Walter Craig, Editor-In-Chief of the Butter Stick, is taking a two week tour of Romania as part of a multi-national reporting campaign of the country's history, culture, [...]
Sex & Porn Industry Outsourced 2008-02-21 18:04:13 The United States economy of the 21st century has hit a new low with the current economic recession. Surprisingly, the latest industry to suffer is the porn and sex industry, which is outsourced daily by cheaper “sex slaves” in Asia and Latin America and by the changing preferences of the American consumer.
More and more Americans, [...] Read more:Porn Industry
Mitt Romney: “Running Was a Waste of Money” 2008-02-15 18:35:27 Recent Republican Presidential dropout candidate Romney
.htm">Mitt Romney
announced Friday that running for a seat in the oval office has officially been a “complete waste of money” for him and his corporate sponsors.
Romney announced his withdrawal from the Presidential race Thursday, February 7th, two days following Super Tuesday. Having lost a majority of the states to [...] Read more:Money
Interview with Dropout Presidential Candidate Giuliani 2008-02-01 22:01:40 The Butter Stick, like many other political news establishments, has requested an interview with former mayor of New York City, President of 9/11, and US Presidential
candidate dropout Rudolph Giuliani
for three months. Following his resignation from the race to the White House, Giuliani gladly accepted a short interview with the Butter Stick’s own Editor-in-Chief, [...] Read more:Candidate
, Dropout
Scientists Conclude: Salt Contains Dangerously High Levels of Sodium 2008-01-26 15:58:25 Pizza, burgers, and soda are well-known health risks for anyone - young or old. But how many people have actually considered the dangers of the preservative and condiment we all regularly put into our diet? Health experts are talking about salt as recent studies have shown this dietary mineral to contain dangerously high levels of [...] Read more:Sodium
Editorial: Cultural Studies of Romania 2008-01-23 18:37:28 First off, I’d like to say happy belated Christmas and New Year on behalf of all the staff of the Butter Stick. I, Walter Craig, have just recently arrived back from my one month holiday “vacation” in Romania, an have an obligation to pass on the knowledge gained of my cultural studies in this formerly Communist nation [...] Read more:Cultural
, Studies
Hooker Resigns As President of Whorehouse 2008-03-21 18:50:59 During the latest governmental scandal, in which Eliot Spitzer was charged two to six years in federal prison for his $80,000 worth of prostitution “hiring” practices over the course of a decade, two individuals were forced to resign from their executive posts in New York state. One was Spitzer, resigned as Governor of NY. The [...] Read more:Hooker
, President
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