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Royal Mail + Broadband = Bad connection
2007-10-31 16:16:42
If you haven't seen the adverts, the Royal Mail is now doing broadband. The thing is, if you sign up for it then you don't know what will happen, one day you might start up your computer and click on the browser, and then it won't work, it'll be on strike. read more
Read more: connection

Road works are after me!!!!! [:O
2007-10-29 16:00:52
Road works are after me! I'm sure there's a conspiracy to annoy me and turn me into another Delmorpha clone! I drive to Preston from Lytham every day and there is road works on Blackpool road where it splits into two where one goes to the docks. They have been there since I started my job at the start of September and every day I've see the sign saying Delays possible till Nov 2007. Now today, 3 days till Nov what do I see? read more


Bonfire Scum
2007-10-29 13:23:37
Had the following call about 1 hour ago from an "Intelligent Fucking Customer". This is real. "[Dr Hamhock,] sorry but it's really to do with the state of our country at the moment. Could you arrange for your final skip to be collected as soon as possible. The skip you were using outside my store, some little scummers pulled all the wood and stuff out of it last night and proceeded to make a big bonfire up against the wall of our shop. The old man [the shop owner's Father] luckily managed to take some photos of the them in the act....BUT...... read more
Read more: Bonfire

Automobiles Anonymous
2007-10-29 08:33:21
Well I'll start my blog on my utter hatred for the the greatest social mobiliser, yet the greatest bane on mankind, the Automobile. There is perhaps no lesser example of human intolerance and arrogance than the various forms of the internal combustion engine powering our atrophied, fat, lazy bodies through the dead corpses of millions of years old sea life. read more
Read more: Automobiles

GRAMMAR NAZI
2007-10-29 07:14:26
It's been bugging me since it's creation. Delmorpha, here is the missing apostrophe (') that should be located after the 'K' and before the 'S' in the word 'FUCKS'. That is all.


I have a job. Part 2:
2007-10-29 07:10:18
I don't have a job anymore. Again. I only did one day there. Basically, I accepted the job to sell computers and the like. They actually wanted me to sell contract mobile phones instead, but forgot to mention this to me during the 3 minute interview I had. They also had no idea exactly what they were doing. They just left me standing there on the shop floor, with no instructions. After a 30 second induction period, where I was hastily shown where the photocopier and shredder were located, I was left to single-handedly run the store alone. read more


clocks
2007-10-27 18:40:10
they go back today, but if they go back at 12 does that mean they actually went back yesterday? then shouldn't that mean that the governments got it wrong again and the correct date of the clocks going back is actually the 27th rather than the 28th? thanks a bunch for confusing us twats much love! xXx


OMG!
2007-10-26 08:43:40
"Oh my God Oh My God"; Diana Dross, Princess of Whores, made the front of the daily rags today. Again. read more


The future's bright...
2007-10-25 04:29:53
According to some Evolution Theory Prof. the future of the human race is that we split into two groups- a good looking, tall, athletic, well hung/pertly breasted (delete as appropriate for yourself or your sexual preferences) upper class and a race of stupid, ugly goblins. The full article: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6057734.stm read more


woot
2007-10-25 04:09:34
back from rhodes, was the shiznaz well not really first night we get a powercut at the hotel...then some thick twat decides to start a fire the rain was shite the gals were shite and i almost drowned playing water polo in a freezing outside pool! xXx


My Tribute to Halloween
2007-11-05 11:17:37

Read more: Halloween

As Phorenzik has shown us his skills...
2007-11-03 11:19:40
I thought i'd have a go: http://www.isarapix.com/pix93/1194106424.png or http://www.isarapix.com/pix8/1194108072.png the face is a bit crap but, http://www.isarapix.com/pix31/1194141000.png added a real face, http://www.isarapix.com/pix73/1194173250.png


Logo thing
2007-11-03 07:42:42
If you're wondering who did that shit Oh FFS logo then wonder no more. I did it. It's far from spectacular, but It's marginally better than the default image. I didn't want to spend too much time on it as I don't know what colour/theme the blog will end up using.


Job hunting:
2007-11-03 06:22:35
It's shit. All jobs are wank. I'm really fed up with job hunting . It's becoming more tedious than actually doing a job. Ironically, It's kind of become a job. Albeit, an unpaid one. I'm really getting depressed now. I know that I need to get another job, but I can't bear it. I know that the next job I will get will be utter wank. I'll hate it, have to force myself to go and feel depressed constantly. This isn't living. It's existing. Bollocks to everything.


Christmas games according to AOL
2007-11-02 14:52:03
This is what greeted me when I got on the internet today: read more
Read more: Christmas

My first site
2007-11-02 07:56:01
I've just stumbled across an old web effort that MarioMark and I did before SFC. It hasn't been updated for ages. I did, however update the main page today. I'm sure you'll all appreciate it. http://groups.msn.com/LegendaryLegends/legendarylegends.msnw


How to use the National ID Card for something good - Variable VAT Rate on Purchases for Immigrants
2007-11-01 09:18:54
Some would say life in the UK was becoming a little Draconian to say the very least. From cameras watching our every move to National ID cards, our freedoms as a nation are being whittled away on a daily basis in the name of Fighting Global Terror. read more
Read more: something , Variable

Royal Mail and the 40 Thieves
2007-11-06 13:46:54
It was recently my birthday, I get the odd thing from relatives, in many ways not that fussed but there we go, I am getting old :) Still I got home from holiday and there was a delivery card indicating I had something which did not have enough postage on it. Apparently 1.06 worth of postage. Okay I thought perhaps it is a parcel or something, easy to perhaps incorrectly apply the required postage for something like that. But... read more
Read more: Royal

My boss is a fucking cunt *updated*
2007-11-05 20:01:27
Title says it all really. I'll blog about it properly when I'm at work tomorrow. *CUNT* I rang in sick on Saturday. Its only my second sickie in twelve months, so hardly a regular occurrence. I left a message on her answerphone at 6:45am, so plenty of notice. Right? read more
Read more: fucking

Who Deserves the Coverted "OFFS Twat of the (last) week" award - YOU DECIDE
2007-11-12 10:22:26
* Kerry Katona - For feeding beer and tabs to her foetus. * Alex Ferguson - "for being a hypocritical Scottish Bastard!" * Rachel Underhill - The dead Joey mum who refused a blood transfusion. * "Celebrity" Advert Cash In - ie "What the fuck has he [Alan Hansen] got to do with Morrisons?" * God, Allah, et al etc - For being omnipresent twats of the week.


More driving shenanigans. USE YOUR FOOKEEN EYEBALLS!
2007-11-10 11:34:58
Need your eyeballs to drive right? Well not according to the way alot of people drive. Especially at higher speeds or during maneuvering. One initially comical but worrying incident happened when I was driving to Halifax earlier on this year. I was on the motorway and I could see two trucks just ahead, read more
Read more: shenanigans

Children in Need
2007-11-16 17:42:36
what the hell is children in need all about I mean come on donate a shedload of money to people in a foreign country? I say we should sort out the UK first and then POSSIBLY think about helping other countries!
Read more: Children

Paper... scurge of the office
2007-11-16 11:41:44
I'm sick of shuffling around pieces of paper for one lifetime. I still get letters from my bank or from the tax office on paper and it drives me mad. I tidy my room, free of clutter then suddenly some more "important" letters come and I have to faff around retidying again. They sit on the side for half a week before I get round to them. read more


OK, there giving them away now.
2007-11-24 10:38:59
http://myaolbroadband.co.uk/broadband/broadband-wireless-plus-playstatio... Says it all really.


Fucking Wikipaedophiles!! Sort your Cunting Life Out!!
2007-11-22 21:07:05
THIS TIME.....SHIT IS REAL....


Get back to work, you lazy Fucks!
2007-11-21 06:45:47
Well, after enjoying 2 weeks off in Canada I am most definately back to work. As much as I hate that fact, and however soul destroying it is here, at least I have some income coming in and I'm not sucking dick for crack... well, thats what I keep telling myself and it gets me through the day... read more


Ten modern CDs you should be ashamed to own...
2007-11-30 07:05:37
I would consider myself a connoisseur of music and as such have the right to force my opinion on anyone trying to listen to a crap CD. I've been guilty of this for years; on more than one occasion have I removed a turgid piece of pop drivel from someones music collection and placed it behind a radiator/used it as a coaster/"accidentally" scratched it with my keys. I just figure I'm doing their soul a favour and with a bit of luck they'll give up searching for it and pick something else... Of the CDs I've happily destroyed, I've seen some pretty horrific offenders sat by them. Wham. Abba Gold. Meatloaf. Bon Jovi. They all stare at me, grinning away like some dumb shit on a bus needed a pop in the mouth, but of all the bad CDs people own, a lot were produced within the last decade. If any of the following 10 discs are in your collection, don't invite me around and expect to find them in good condition after I've left! read more


Winter Danglers
2007-11-28 13:49:54
Like arsegrapes, they appears swiftly and silently overnight, revealing themselves at the first sign of a cold snap, dangling painfully, looking loosely attached but if you gave them a tug, one would find that many have been there since last year: their roots just hidden away from view. Sticking out like a sack of sore thumbs, bringing them to one's lips a sour taste would be left. It hurts to think of what evil force create these hanging disasters, let alone how one would remove them silently and quickly. read more


Royal Mail are a bunch of SOFT KNOCKING FUCKS
2007-12-07 04:38:54
Another day, another missed parcel card. . not the end of the world you say, just go and collect the parcel from the sorting office, where the friendly staff will take care of you, no worries.. read more
Read more: Royal

A Slow News Day....
2007-12-06 11:52:18
..gets on my fucking tits. There's no such thing as a slow news day nowadays, just a lazy journalist day. Yesterday, on the BBC News website, one of the top stories beggared belief. TOP FUCKING STORIES!! It was about an old man who farts. read more


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