Owner: Goldmind's Unwind URL:http://goldmindsunwind.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Mon, 29 Oct 2007 22:54:33 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: Original, off-the-wall, humor, including spoofs, satire, pictures, and top 10 lists. Influenced by Monty Python, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Jim Gaffigan, and other wackiness. Don't expect anything serious on this site, it's totally nuts! Site statistics:Click here
10 Halloween Films You Cannot or Should Not See 2007-10-30 23:33:00 “Day of the Night” 50’s era schlock about invaders from Neptune who use laser technology to reverse the earth’s cycle of night and day. Global chaos erupts when nighttime lasts 24 uninterrupted hours. A normal 12 hour day ensues, however, and the night/day pattern reasserts itself and everyone forgets what happened. Stars Elvis Presley as the crooning Neptunian and Ann Margaret as the femme fatale who steals his heart.“The Six Cents” About a nickel and a penny; every time a person holds these coins they go slowly insane and commit suicide, after which they are plagued by visions of live people whom they've left behind; these live folks are happy, don't miss the dead, and are seen laughing about "how crazy was that sonnuvabitch."“Heck bound Heck Raiser 1- The not so nice bad guy” Tired of explicit titles, social purists got together to produce this “horror” movie about a somewhat grumpy guy doing a couple naughty things to some very nice people. After a serious he Read more:Halloween
, Films
Results of our Halloween Lame or Silly Costume Contest are IN. 2007-10-30 18:18:00 We didn’t lie to you folks. We told you we had living, breathing, monstrosities. You laughed at them...shuddered at them... But for the accident of birth, you might be even as they are! They did not ask to be brought into the world, but into the world they came. Their code is a law unto themselves: offend one, and you offend them all.Now folks, if you’ll just kindly scroll down this page and turn toward your left...you are about to see the most outstanding….the MOST incredibly lame and silly costumes. Read more:Halloween
, Silly
, Contest
Halloween Campfire Story Time: The Peculiar Tale of Old Man Cravetts 2007-10-30 13:27:00 Old man Cravetts was a crochety old geezer. Used to sit on his front porch and crochet everything from doilies and douche bag cozies to donut pillows and cat scrotum warmers. Now, since he was older than night time, Cravetts was feared and hated by the neighborhood children. Even so, he’d always try to crochet things for them as they rode by on their bikes throwing things at him he’d previously crocheted for them. “Ya know I try to be nice to those kids and they just don’t appreciate me,” he laménted as he cut into another bolt of heavy metal print fabric. “Maybe this Lars Ulrich afghan will get their attention.” He muttered cheerily to himself.One blistery autumn morning, Cravetts strolled out onto his front porch for another day of yarn wasting when there on his front lawn was little Bobby Youngonion lying unconscious and covered with blisters. “Now don’t lie to me you little wrapped scallion, I know you’re not unconscious and what are you doing all wrapped up in Read more:Halloween
, Story Time
, Old Man
Halloween Campfire Story Time: The Not So Scary Tale of the Possessed Kapok Tree 2007-10-30 13:25:00 Within the fiery catacombs of hell, there once lived seven tremendously evil demons. For sport, they would spin their heads around backwards, elongate their pierced tongues, speak drunken gibberish, or dance counterclockwise around horned beasts while chanting cryptic Latin phrases.Eternity is a long time so, despite their playful activities, the seven demons soon became bored. Eventually, the demons worked up the courage to approach Old Scratch himself—Satan—to ask permission to leave Hell in order to temporarily dwell in the space/time dimension of mortal man.“Okay,” whispered Lucifer menacingly, while playing Solitaire. So the seven demons left Hades through a spiral portal to reach the human dimension. Soon, they arrived in a remote forest in the central Amazon Basin between the Negro and Japura Rivers, the two main tributaries of the Amazon. The Amana Reserve contains spectacular and untouched biodiversity with the highest concentration of the endangered Amazonian manatees Read more:Halloween
, Story Time
, Scary
Top 25 Worst Things to Get in Your Halloween Trick-or-Treat Bag 2007-10-29 15:51:00 25. Cabbage24. Crystal Meth23. Dead shrew22. Edible panties21. Loose Kool-Aid powder20. Live Flyfishing bait19. Newtmuskateers18. Photographs of Naked Octogenarians17. Assorted pain relievers16. Confederacy currency15. Crack Rock Candy14. Partially decomposed dog13. Sharpies box filled with used syringes12. Nicorette gum11. Chocolate covered razorblades10. 50 credit card applications bound together with a rubber band9. Chain letter8. KC & the Sunshine Band 8 track tape7. Cheese whiz in a bag6. Lint balls5. Baggie of Purina Cat Chow4. Medicated suppositories3. Unpopped kernals from microwave pop corn2. Caramel kidney stones1. Condomints—Condoms that come in 3 minty flavors~Goldmind, numbsain, cheese Read more:Halloween
, Trick
Dog Dominion Threatened 2007-10-28 20:07:00 For centuries the conflict has raged. Even in peaceful interludes, there remains a subtle undercurrent of social unrest and political upheaval. Thanks to the recently established Miao Lin Temple and Martial Arts Training Facility, the balance of power in the age-old conflict between cats and dogs may at last have shifted.In an exclusive interview, Defense Secretary Cuddles stated: “Yes, it may be true that we finally have the edge. The canines have always been bigger. They have always been able to generate more explosive bowel movements. But their days are numbered. Why? Winged dragon drool kick chop chop. It's a clandestine technique so powerful; so utterly lethal; that focus group lab rats have chewed off their own faces rather than endure it. This technique is so fast and so deadly, we are able to actually kick the snot out of dogs and that is proving to be the decisive in the war between our species."To preempt potential political retribution, Coco Smoke, spokescat for the Feli Read more:Dominion
Ask Dr. Scientist - the smartest person in the whole world 2007-10-28 06:46:00 Dr. Scientist,Where do babies come from?TimmyDear Timmy,Certainly not from storks! We find them under cabbages.Dear Doctor Science,What exactly are earthworms? I think they are gross.NatalieDear Natalie, Earthworms are actually living independent entrails. In prehistoric times, a species of fish crawled upon the land, and was immediately devoured by a pterodactyl. The remains of the fish—it's intestines—remained on land and survived, and have since been known as the worm.Dear Dr. Science,My momma told me that if I don’t pick up my toys, a monster will come out from under my bed and eat me. Is that true?Jo JoDear Jo Jo,Yes.Dr. Science,I am going on a long vacation and I can't bring my cats with me. What is the best way to store cats safely for three-months?PhilbertDear Philbert,The best way to store your cats safely for extended periods is to pack them in mothballs. The proper ratio is 1 mothball for every 500 cats.Dear doktor Sients,Why duz my sippy cup not werk?GünterDear G Read more:person
The Great "Make me!" - "I don't make trash I burn it" Debate 2007-10-27 16:06:00 Transcript from regional finals in the annual "Make-me-I-don't-make-trash-I-burn-it-debate"Kid #1: Why don't you make me?Kid #2: I don't make trash, I burn it.Kid #1: No wonder you’re so black and crispy!Kid #2: Mine’s paint, yours ain’t!Kid #1: Shut UP!Kid #2: I don't shut up, I grow up. And when I look at you, I throw up!Kid #1: No wonder you stink!Kid #2: At least I ain’t dumb. You so dumb, you got lost in a grocery store and starved to death!Kid #1: You so stupid, you sat on a TV and watched a couch!Kid #2: You so ugly, when you was born, the doctor spanked your momma!Kid #1: Yo mamma’ so fat she wore a Malcolm X t-shirt and a helicopter landed on her back!Kid #2: My mamma is yo MamaKid #1: But you don't know who your daddy is!Kid #2: Which is why my doctor recently prescribed Ritalin.Kid #1: I’m so sorry to hear about that, has it helped?Kid #2: Yes it has, it has made me realize…that I love you.Kid #1. I love you, too.Kid #2. Let’s go to Iceland and raise Emu Read more:Great
, Debate
The Secret, Dangerous World of Bridge 2007-10-27 01:49:00 You've seen it—that small, unobtrusive section next to the crosswords dedicated to "Bridge strategies and puzzles." Friends, it is time we opened ourselves to a bitter truth: there is no card game man could invent that could possibly be so complicated—I once witnessed a world class chess player chew off his own fingers while vainly attempting to comprehend the game—and yet popular enough to warrant it's own section of a newspaper.So what is this "Bridge" section, really? What does all the convoluted code, the mumbo jumbo, truly reference? Ladies and gentlemen, it has taken me the better part of thirteen years but, at last, I have cracked a portion of the code, partly through the assistance of a Fruity Pebbles decipher ring. You see, by substituting certain key letters, by twisting certain key numbers into different shapes, and by slowly turning around counter-clockwise while clapping my hands and howling at the new corn moon, I have discovered, and can now unequivocally state, Read more:World
Helpful relationship advice from a dead, cynical existentialist philosopher: ASK SCHOPENHAUER'S GHOST 2007-10-26 23:39:00 Dear Schopenhauer's Ghost,I'm having a problem with my social life. Every time I find a boy I like, I get bored. Then I have to be mean to make him go away. The problem is, when he does go away, I get sad and lonely. The cycle repeats itself over and over again. What should I do? NoelDear Noel,Your problem is not unusual. Life is a pendulum that swings between frustration and boredom. You must realize that life is very bad and was accidentally created by an omniscient demon intent upon tormenting us. Try listening to Wagner. It will help you forget you are alive.Sincerely,Schopenhauer's GhostDear Schopenhauer's Ghost,You're an existential do-do head. I don't care if there is any truth to any thing you ever wrote or said. It makes me sad and therefore can't be true. I prefer Ayn Rand any time of day! So there, you scumbag!RachelDear Rachel,I do not listen to critics. Anyone who differs from my point of view is dumb. Even now, while I serve Satan in hell's dark catacombs, I am un
Today's Newsroom 2007-10-26 01:51:00 Officers have apprehended a possible suspect in a case where eyewitnesses say there were no reports of any incidents occurring at the scene of the alleged crime. The Department has the area under investigation, though forensics reports show evidence in connection to this case to be inconclusive and unsubstantiated. The suspect is being watched by investigators who are being placed under close surveillance by an intelligence task force. That concludes our top story.Now back to our studio for the weather.This week saw record breaking mids with winds gusting up to expected levels in the low pressure areas just off the inland coast. Highs in the upper mids with lows in the upper highs. Barometer should hold steady ranging in the high Sierras. Skies are expected partly mostly through the week with a chance of maybe clearing through Friday. If we're lucky we might see what looks like a possibility throughout the later part of tomorrow.In Sports today the local favorites played their final g Read more:Today
News of the Very Strange 2007-10-25 17:03:00 In September 2007, the owner of a restaurant on the corner of Main and Highland in Denver reported to police that a homeless man slumped in his chair in the non-smoking section of the eatery had not moved in three days and was beginning to smell. Police who arrived on the scene made a grisly discovery. It wasn’t a homeless man after all. Several stray dogs had disguised themselves as a human in an effort to obtain a meal at the restaurant. Unable to pay when presented with the bill, the canines panicked and, according to a local coroner’s report, were crushed when they attempted to flee the disguise.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~On his way to deliver a kitten to a homeless shelter, Tiny Tim Williams, a six year Cub Scout from Athens, Georgia, was brutally run down by a Harley Davidson traveling at a speed in excess of 100 mph. Pete “Pills” Powers, the driver of the motorcycle, was arrested at his Llama ranch in Farmington, where he was hiding behind a tro Read more:Strange
Blog Mailbag: Could a circus clown rob a bank with a handheld rubber horn and a flower that shot water at your face? 2007-10-24 19:39:00 Our Dedicated Staff Answers:We wish that worked. One of us tried it once himself. Walked straight into a bank, fresh from a hard day at the circus... nervously pulled out a rubber horn. His story:"I was fearin' they may not notice it wasn't a colt 45 so, faster'n you can say fruitcake, I squirt that teller right 'tween the eyes. Then I tells her a joke: "What did one eye say to the other eye, I say, what did one eye say to the other? Answer? Between us, something smells! Ahhh Yuck Yuck Yuck !" Then I toot my horn for good measure. Well, that ole' gal didn't laugh and, next thing ya know, I'm wrestled to the floor by an ole' copper, and thrown into the back of a paddy wagon and hauled off to jail.So warn your clown friend. Tell them not to do it. Tell them, a smile is just a frown turned around on the face of a clown in the slammer. I should know, I'm writin' this from the big house."~Goldmind Read more:flower
, water
Beatles Parody time 2007-10-24 08:50:00 My good friend "Cheese" recently asked me to come up with a song parody. Well, I always liked that Beatles
song, Hey Jude. So here's my two cent contribution (actually now that I read it I kinda like it, sorta rare when that happens. I'll add a little (c) copyright):HEY DUDEHey, Dude, don't feel so sadYou drank Mad Dog; but don’t feel better.Remember, you let her into your heartNow you’re apart. So much the better.Hey, Dude, don't be afraid,You were not made to go out and get her.The minute you start to go out with your kin,The DA begins, to write you a letter.And when it’s time that they arraign, hey Dude, refrainDon't carry that girl off on your shouldersHey don't you know that it’s not cool, to stare and droolI know, I saw, your rap sheet folder Hey, Dude! You put that downThat gun is loaded, I’m just the messengerRemember, you let her into your heartYou’re not so smart, don’t be a better. So let it out and let it in, hey Dude, beginYou're not to find cousins t
Are you so sure about your grits theory? 2007-10-23 19:20:00 EVERYONE has a theory about grits. Do they taste good, are they made of metal? Are they only appreciated by the southern genteel folk as they ride horses throughout the humid countryside drinking sweet-tea?Well, I have a theory about grits, and it's a long, complicated, absurd, theory. It's a theory so complicated it can only be understood in German. But I'm going to make a lame attempt to relay my theory. Tomorrow. ~Goldmind
Grumpy Sock's Corner: Time for a New Holiday 2007-10-22 23:00:00 Okay. I'm just a dirty, smelly sock puppet but, let's face it, it's high time for a new holiday. Even if a dirty, smelly, puss dripping-did I already say smelly? if not, smelly-sock puppet has to be the one who tells the world. I was right about gum, wasn't I? So trust me here! It's time for these new holidays, right now. Seriously. Pick up your cell phone and spread the gospel.Direct Day. Six months after April Fools, a whole day where you're forced to tell friends/spouse how you really feel. Hallmark idea: Front of card: "Would it kill ya to life a finger around here?" Inside: "No, not THAT finger."Tornado Day. For creative types. Everyone sits under a sturdy table or transom and takes turns exchanging facts and trivia about Oklahoma. "Okmulgee Oklahoma owns the world record for biggest ice cream and cookie party." First person to three wins.Umbilical Day. Celebrated nine months prior to your birthday. Have to tie a rope from your belt to your mom's waist, hide under under a b Read more:Holiday
Friedrich Nietzsche: Possessed Mannequin or Distinguished Philosopher? 2007-11-04 01:44:00 Few writers have inspired such fanatical devotion as has German scholar and phrenologist, Friedrich
Wilhelm Nietzsche
. But who was Nietzsche? The brilliant academic conversant in epistemology? Or the sagacious skull-measurer who built an empire trading exotic monkey pelts? A survey of the scrawl he left behind provides clues to the identity of the mysterious litterateur.1872 – 6A youthful and exuberant Nietzsche burst onto the European intellectual landscape with the publication of his dissertation “Tragedy, Destruction, and other Virtues.” Its style—simple, direct, and insipid, was designed to antagonize an indifferent public. Here is the origin of philosophy as we know it, with its fundamental assertion that “semen has no conscience other than an occasional guilt trip disguised as logical schematism.” (Tragedy, 214) It was only the beginning.While the western world mulled over the peculiar decrees in his dissertation, Nietzsche quietly completed “Meditations I’ve trie Read more:Mannequin
, Philosopher
, Friedrich Nietzsche
A DAY AT THE RACES 2007-11-03 15:28:00 And they're off!“Adrenaline-Rush” is first out of the gate,followed by “Steroid-Breath”.“Equestrian Mark” is in third, two lengths ahead of“Philly-Baloney” in fourth place.Pulling up fifth and sixth are “What’s-the-Hurry” and “Salt-Licked” respectively.Around the first turn it’s “Gal-Up-Front” rallying for the lead ahead of “Ooh-That-Must-Stang”.Now suddenly “Bee-In-The-Nose ” makes a break on the inside edging out “Quit-Shovin”,but closing fast is “Saddle-Light” with “Anne-Delusional” hot on his trail.“Gotta-Pee” is coming on strong in the outside lane nose to nose with “Leg-Cramp”.“Bad-Oats” still in seventh place behind “Appa-loser”.Now “Here-to-Whinney” takes the lead after the first lap followed by“Niegh-Sayer” with“Horsin’-Wells” and“Mane-Attraction” in third and fourth.All of a sudden “Spiked-Feed-Bag” makes a move with“Stable-Condition” trailing by a length. But“Eat-My-Dust” shuts
Relationship Classifieds 2007-11-03 10:54:00 editor's note: this afternoon this post was revised to include two new classifieds that contained, uh, some inappropriate language. This language has been removed (look for yourself, this is not a trick). The particular author who posted such does NOT work at a certain accounting firm but is in fact an artist who resides in Los Angeles. He has since been taken behind an Anaheim Waffle House, forced to listen to Joyce Myer CDs, then severely beaten with sugar cane until he agreed to join a convent. He now resides in Cochran, Georgia and says his prayers. We apologize for this event.Brilliant narcissist, 40, seeks woman perfect in every way who will treat me with the awe and respect my Ivy League degree, Mensa membership, and acting career demand. You must meet MY needs and realize that YOU are lucky I have even taken my valuable time to submit this request when I could be out being worshiped in some fashion by various people and through my myriad trophies and accomplishments. This is m Read more:Relationship
Ask Dr. Science—back by popular reprimand 2007-11-02 19:15:00 Dear Dr. Science
,I think my dog is dead. How can I tell?BubbyDear Bubby,Lick the dog’s nostrils a few times while inhaling. Turn in a circle. If it tastes like silver, he’s dead.Dear Dr. Science,My Uncle told me the moon was made of cheese and that a rat eats the full moon until it disappears. How does it come back?GraysonDear Grayson,The rat does not eat the cheese; he hides it.Dear Dr. Science,Do you feel that in a parallel time continuum, where the interdimensional phasing hysteresis was in a precircumvented intraparametric logarithmic inversion slope, a sustained thermonuclear reaction such as the sun would create a photon distortion field of significant intensity to cause cross-dimensional interference that would be detectable by instruments known to our current technology?BillyDear Billy,You are a very bad boy! Does your mother know you're using the computer to ask silly questions like this? In any event, any dolt knows intraparametric logarithmic inversion slopes are a type Read more:popular
Technological Advances of the Budget Cut Era 2007-11-01 12:29:00 Pictured Above: The all terrain tricycle, or ATT, comes fully equipped with "gun wagon". The total cost of this amazing product is only $800,000.00, saving the government almost four million dollars over the bulky truck model it used to use. Reuters-Recent military budget cuts have inventors and industrialists struggling to keep up with the demand for affordable, yet innovative, products for use by the armed forces. Even small “family” businesses and one man operations have created products that have been adopted for use in today’s Army, Navy, Air force, and Marines.“Oh yeah,” private industrialist John Chaney, the inventor of the coke bottle grenade, said. “It’s been fun ter make stuff fer them nice soldier fellers. I hope it helps em’ kill em’ tairists.“The design’s simple,” Chaney said, referring to the grenade he now supplies the Army. “We take an empty bottle as what like one ‘yer relatives drinks and we fill it with pre-stored pig piss. You ken throw
Mother Duck's Lesser Known, Odd or Disturbing Nursery Rhymes 2007-11-01 08:17:00 Dung and Stink PooDung and stink pooFell from a yewRolled down a hill till it ran into SueSue got hurtCalled out to BurtWho laughed until Sue filled his mouth up with dirtJabby JoJo Jo Jabby Jo, Jabby Wabba Jee,Can you show me where, a little boy can pee?Jo Jo Jabby Jee, Jabba Wabba Jo,Get lost kid, I just don’t know.Have you a rhyme?Have you any rhymes to ease my pain?Yes I’m a doctor, you might be insane.Have you any pills, to help with depression?Yes mam, Yes mam. Come to my session.Have you any rope, if I run out of hope?Just a bit of floss mam, you’d better cope.Have you a life, you’d care to say?Not really mam, that’s why I blog each day.Clap, clapClap, clapsee the baby rapChill, ChillSee the baby killRad, radnow the baby sadBye byesee the baby dieThe Pirate BoyTimmy was a pirateSailed the seaHe liked to take his cream with teaThen one dayHe said “I’m gay.”That’s why his crewmen walk that waySnot, snotSnot snotBlow it in a potStick it in the ovenAnd drink it hot Read more:Lesser
, Nursery
, Rhymes
The Jiblitz n’ Gravy Spanksgivin’ Special 2007-11-09 11:12:00 J & G: Howdy GastronautsJ: I’m Jiblitz!G: and I’m Gravy!We’re Jiblitz n’ Gravy and we’re here to ejumacate all you balls and curls out there in TV land how to whoop up a lipspanking linger flickin’gastro-intestinal-icious Spanksgivin’ Fiest that’ll knock yer hockey sox off like a ratchet loppers on cornstalk!J: And it won’t cost a chiggers nipple neither!G: ‘Ats right Jib’ cause we do the way them ol’pilgrims used ta do: cheek and eepanomical like. Ya see, the ‘grims didn’t have a whole heap a wallet wampum so they had to skrimp and save like a shaved squirrel in an acorn fire. But at the same time, show them Packachicklets a thing or two about gourmet cookin’J: Yep it was all about one-uppin them Nippantuckets, and they ain’t had no Souix chefs so they raped the villages and pillaged the women like teenage termites on a scrotum pole. But after a hard days a work, they come back with a whole honky heapa a helpins to make your eyes water and yer mout Read more:Special
The Littlest Justice 2007-11-08 14:04:00 As the history of our republic unfolds, our judicial branch continues to produce generations of scholars who cloak the profession in vests of honor: John Marshall…Benjamin Cardoza…Learned Hand. These juristic giants are, however, microscopic in comparison to the man who stood a mere 8 inches tall. A man whose hypnotically poetic name hints at an intelligence so vast it could only be understood in German: the little known, Cormorant Chewink Crane.Cormorant Chewink Crane’s meteoritic rise to our nation’s highest court began on Christmas in 1907. On that auspicious day, Crane witnesses his grandfather, a Yale-educated sugar baron, slip into a fatal coma while roasting acorns and playing his Jew’s Harp. The elder Crane had finally succumbed to rabies, a disease unwittingly contracted when the family’s pet Hungarian Partridge pecked its way through a sugarcane pen and, confused and emboldened by the rapid influx of sucrose, attacked the elderly Crane’s ear, mistaking it for a Read more:Justice
Cogito ergo sum: Interview with René Descartes' Ghost 2007-11-08 10:38:00 Thank you for joining us Mr. Descartes. For our listening audience, would you mind telling us a little bit about yourself? I think, therefore, I am. You think therefore you are? I am. I am? You are. You are? I am. You are what? I am aware. You are aware of what? That I am. That you are what? I think. You think what? Many things, therefore, I am. You are what? I exist. I can see that. Exactly. And you are. And I am what? And you exist. Of course I exist. But could you please tell our audience something about you? I am. Damn it Mr. Descartes, you are WHAT? I am aware. I think. There’s one thing I know, Mr. Descartes, this ridiculous interview is over. Good bye. I am no longer. ~Goldmind Read more:Ghost
2007-11-08 04:38:00 Numbsain's Daily Diary ...uhDear Diary ...uh, I had a terrible day, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed so after I crawl out from under there, I go to turn off the alarm but I realize it's outside and I figure the guys in the red truck will take care of it. But they're like in their own little world so I stick my head out the window and politely yell: "OKAY, I'M UP! WOULD YOU MIND TURNING THAT THING OFF?!" They ignore me. They're too busy watering the house next door, I guess it did look a little dry but it was raining for chrissake and by the looks of the dark cloud overhead, It was probably gonna be a real downpour. So I go to the bathroom, Ah, much better. Then I walk into the bathroom and I notice my pajamas bottoms are leaking. Okay it's early, I can't be expected to do everything in the right order at 11: 30 am... 11:30 AM?!?! Oops, I'm late for work! So I just go ahead and get right into the shower and start taking off my pajamas and I look over and see the neighbors
This post temporarily out of service 2007-11-06 22:58:00 Dear Reader, we are experiencing conceptual difficulties with the post titled "Sincere Dog Apostle." Please stand by for further information as to what the hell is going on, as we are unable to resolve this matter at present. There appears to have been a security breach. Possibly aliens from another blog have infiltrated Goldmind's Unwind and inserted substandard material. If you have read anything on this blog in the past 24 hours which was not at least a little funny, we sincerely apologize for whatever inconvenience this may have caused. Please continue to look to us for all your humor needs and we assure you, this matter will be resolved before you can say Papa ooh mao mao papa ooh moa moa papa ooh papa ooh papa ooh moa moa. Thank you for you patience.
Public Service Announcement!!! 2007-11-06 12:38:00 Just a Reminder From Your Staff at Goldmind's Unwind!Remember that Friday is Mother in Law Round up!The Salivation Army wants to remind you that it's that time of year again. The holidays are rapidly approaching and that means the needs of the many must once again be sated by the wealth of the few. Just remember, ladies and gentleman, billions of people the world over have been left to toil without a mother in law of their own. This is the perfect opportunity for you to donate yours so that the voids in their lives are filled. Just think of the Christmas joy you'll provide to some poor third world family when your mother in law is delivered to them in a specially gift wrapped cage!*Just leave mother in law at your curb, fully incapacitated, by 9 AM friday. Please also provide one box of oatmeal for sustenance. Salivation Army is not responsible for damage during shipment. Mother in law donations are not deductible for federal or state income tax purposes and cannot be used as net o Read more:Public
, Service
, Announcement
, Public Service
, Public Service Announcement
Recommend Site To A Friend
