Owner: Goldmind's Unwind URL:http://goldmindsunwind.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Mon, 29 Oct 2007 22:54:33 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: Original, off-the-wall, humor, including spoofs, satire, pictures, and top 10 lists. Influenced by Monty Python, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Jim Gaffigan, and other wackiness. Don't expect anything serious on this site, it's totally nuts! Site statistics:Click here
Little Deer (click to enlarge) 2007-11-25 10:45:00 Goldmind recently discovered the cartoon at left, titled "Little Deer," in the bottom of a dusty drawer in his California condo. Turns out, Goldmind first assembled this cartoon in 1997. This discovery was quite baffling. After all, the lines delivered by the hapless deer were recently attributed to a yawning rabbit in a post that appeared on this Blog just 2 weeks ago.According to Dr. Scientist, the odds of this coincidence occurring are 1,456,292,109,200 to 1. It is, therefore, the opinion of Goldmind's Unwind that it is the destiny of the U.S. to see this cartoon and that it will initiate a global change in consciousness that will create everlasting peace. Read more:enlarge
Harold the Talking Dog 2007-11-25 10:41:00 by numbsainIn the future, canine linguistics will become a national obsession and after 13 years of breakthroughs in genetic technology, scientists will find a way to make dogs talk. Unfortunately they'll overlooked one minor detail: Dogs don't have anything to say. And so in the future we'll be stuck with a lot of talkative dogs everywhere, babbling mindlessly about nothing in particular.Harold
: "Helpy Helpy! Gimme a penny. Pokey moo gimme spots! People feathers helpy, okay? No! Okay? No!"The Human: Shut up Harold, stop bothering people, Don't listen to him, he doesn't really understand what he's saying.Harold: "Bother people under stand really gimme gimme gimme a penny"The Human: Shush I told you!Harold: "Sorry sorry sorry gimme a meat. No? Now? No? Now? Meat? Gimme? Now? Now? No no no no. Now? hello, Now? No gimme sorry"The Human: Now Harold, I have to go in the bank, wait out here and be good.Harold: "Sorry good bank gimme spots go to the bank gimme? Sorry meat now? Okay oka Read more:Talking
Smoking Lungs - America's Latest Addiction (click image to enlarge) 2007-11-24 18:49:00 This realistic police sketch of a 16 year-old girl smoking lungs, illustrates a growing addiction among our youth. Not LSD, not Mushrooms, not Ecstacy, not Cocaine, not Crack, not Speed, not whatever trendy drug we're not hip enough to know about because those days are behind us or are too lazy to research because we've been drinking wine. No folks, smoking lungs is one damn big problem.Amateurish Drawing by Goldmind Read more:enlarge
, Smoking
, Lungs
, America
THE EVOLUTION OF REALITY TV 2007-12-05 19:13:00 by numbsain[editor's note: the following is "satire," and should not be interpreted as reflecting the view of Goldminds Unwind. If you are offended, sorry! We are, in fact, quite liberal. The point where we can no longer make fun of everyone in this country, most of all, our ridiculous selves, is the day we have mutated into a fascist state. Thank you!]8:47.52 AM:Robin is awakened by a leaf blower one block away.Robin: (Ugh! I hate Mexicans... God I really am racist, that sucks. Shit, my arm's asleep... I gotta pee really bad.)As she gets out of bed, she realizes her panties are kinda bunched up in her crack so she pulls them most of the way out and walks into the bathroom rubbing her eyes.Robin: (That's weird, Eddie actually put the seat back down... )SPLOOSH! Robin has perfect timing on her release. As she pees, she really lets one rip, it kind of hurts a little, she starts to doze off, bumps her elbow on the sink which wakes her up. She wipes, stands up, looks in the mirror, her
FAMOUS QUOTES QUIZ 2007-12-03 21:05:00 Here's a multiple choice quiz to see how well you remember unimportant things famous people said. If you remember every one of these quotes correctly, chances are you've forgotten something important. Like how many children you have. To check your score, you'll find the correct number to the left of the right quote. Good luck!-by numbsain... Well, do ya punk?!Charlton Heston said:1. SOYLENT GREEN HAS TRANSFAT!!!2. SOY BEANS ARE EVIL!!3. COLLARD GREENS EAT PEOPLE!!!4. SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!!Charlton Heston said:1. Get your greedy hands off my butt you damn dirty ape!2. Take your filthy sandwiches and never come back Mildred!3. Get your filthy paws off me you damn dirty ape!4. Unhand me you big hairy gorilla!Jack Nicholson said:1. The fruit?! You can't HAVE all the fruit!2. Vermouth?! You can't be all out of vermouth!3. The flute?! You call that playing the flute?4. The truth?! You can't handle the truth!Jack Nicholson said:1. Yeah, hold my chicklets between yer tits!2. Yeah, ho
Numbsain's Commercial Break 2007-12-03 02:34:00 -by numbsainOpening day of Little League...*BOTTOM OF THE FIRST*Ump: BALL FOUR!! ...Hey Dawson, isn't that your son on the mound? Better go talk to him.Dad: What's the matter son?Son: Aw gee dad, i just don't feel...Dad: Fresh?Son: Golly, yeah.Dad: That's okay son. Masculine hygiene problems are nothing to be ashamed of. Try new Testy-Breeze® Masculine Hygiene Spray! When used as directed Testy-Breeze® helps stop masculine odor, itch, and wetness with a new powder fresh formula that leaves no greasy residue and keeps you feeling fresh and masculine all day long! I use it everyday!Son: But you don't have masculine hygiene problems...Dad: Exactly!*THIRD INNING*Ump: BALL 1! ...Dawson?Dad: Did you try the Testy-Breeze® Son?Son: Sure dad, I only have one ball...Dad: Second one hasn't come down yet eh?Son: Naw! And the doctor say's I might have to wait until puberty, gee whiz...Dad: Don't worry son, you need Testy-Breeze Light Days®! Specially formulated for when you're not play Read more:Commercial
, Break
MY LUNCHEON WITH MR. STEVEN HAWKING by Dr. Numbsain Phd. 2007-12-01 21:14:00 Numbsain: Wow! Mr. Hawking I can't tell you what an honor this is. I really appreciate you having lunch with me. (That's fine just roll him right up there) Oh, I mean, If that's okay with Mr. Hawking?Steven Hawking: Gnyehh... gnyehh... nehhhuengN.: What? Oh! Sorry, you need your little stick for the robo-voice. Here you go... open... wider.... now bite!... the-e-ere... got it? Go-o-od.S.H.: Fine... that is fine... it is okay... I can do it... just let go please... thank you.N.: Oh, okay, your fine, okay (oh I'll just have, like, a ham on rye, hold the cripplesPICKLES!!, cole slaw and maybe a vodka tonic, over and keep 'em comin' yeah, thank you.) Oh and what are you gonna have big guy... er, Mr. Hawking?S.H.: I will have the same except without the vodka tonic...N.: Ahah-ha-ha oh yeah... you don't want that! You got enough problems as it is, heh heh-heh...S.H.: Bring me two Long Island Ice Teas, Doubles, thank you.N.: Well uh-hawlright Steve! Ha-Ha-Ha oh! Can I call you S
Unwinds' Investigative Reports: The Bill Gates, Stephen Hawking, Woody Allen Conspiracy 2007-11-30 10:58:00 by CheddarAt Goldmind’s Unwind, we frequently receive kind letters from you, the viewer. Some is congratulatory in nature; others contain random death threats; some, marriage proposals. (no means no drtygrl69@Spewmail.com!) Recently, however, I (Cheddar) received an odd email that may expose one of the greatest fraud scams in the history of the world. I am copying the email below.Dear Cheddar,I’ve been searching the web for weeks looking for the right candidate to whom I can unburden myself with information so explosive, it could shake the very fabric of space and time. I occasionally enjoy Cheddar Cheese, and realized it was destiny’s hand leading me to you. You cannot know my identity, so please do not attempt to trace this email and ignore my name, cell number, and home address in the signature line.For three years, I have been shadowing famed physicist StephenHawking
. I’ve followed his wheelchair through malls, campuses, back alleys, and unsightly gas station restrooms con Read more:Gates
, Woody
, Allen
, Conspiracy
, Stephen Hawking
, Woody Allen
Investigative Reports: A followup 2007-12-16 02:00:00 by Cheddar Ladies and gentleman, I, Cheddar, recently posted a startling email that began a chain of events that can only be described as earth shattering. I have all but confirmed that Stephen Hawking, Bill Gates, and Woody Allen are one in the same individual, running a triumvirate of power unequaled in any other facet of society. But, ladies and gentlemen, this discovery is merely the tip of the iceberg! It turns out that we, the general public, have been duped by other individuals playing multiple roles, and all for very different reasons. In each case, the magic number appears to be three; as in three different personas. Nevertheless, the cunning involved is monumental! I can confirm beyond a shadow of a doubt that the following individuals, whom I hereby dub "The Axis of Evil," are all pulling the wool over our eyes! Pay heed! Truly notice the similarities.If these photographs aren't representative of the "Axis of Evil," I don't know what is. Now, separately, these photos may
MODERN CULTURE QUIZ 2007-12-15 01:03:00 by numbsainWhich of these is not a breakfast cereal:1. Post Sugar Crisp2. Kellogg's Corn Flakes3. Hall and Oates4. Fruity PebblesWhich of these is not a wine:1. Cabernet Sauvignon2. Pinot Noir3. Hannibal Lecter4. Merlot Which of these is not a car:1. Pontiac Lemans2. Buick Skylark3. Daewoo Leganza4. Carmen ElectraWhich of these is not a dog breed:1. Doberman Pincher2. Irish Setter3. Jack Russel Terrier4. Luke SkywalkerWhich of these is not a personality disorder:1. Manic Depressive2. Passive Aggression3. Worker's Compensation4. Obsessive CompulsiveWhich of these is not a soft drink:1. Coca Cola2. Sprite3. Dr Jeckle4. Fanta Which of these is not a venereal disease:1. Gonorrhea2. Hepatitis B3. Syphilis4. HerculesWhich one of these does not play the blues:1. T-Bone Walker2. Blind Lemon Jefferson3. Salvation Army4. Jimmy WitherspoonWhich of these is not a breath mint:1. Tic Tacs2. Hemorrhoids2. Altoids3. BreathsaversWhich of these is not a dinosaur:1. Stegosaurus2. Diplodicus3. Thesaur
Odd After-School TV Specials 2007-12-13 21:01:00 by GoldmindWe've all watched them - those helpful after-school TV specials educating us on the potential dangers of accepting soggy pornographic magazines from pantless strangers driving decrepit station wagons. The following is a list assembled by our dedicated staff of some particularly memorable specials.Lemur Star WarsTV executives in the disco-era received a report indicating that kids between the ages of 10-14 were primarily interested in (1) sex, (2) murder, (3) animals, and (4) the movie Star Wars. Tying these together, Grayson Blown Away Productions released "Lemur Star Wars," which feature red laser blasts, graphic animal mating, and territorial battles in outer space.You're in hell Charlie BrownOriginally designed to convey traditional Christian values, "Peanuts" generally featured subtle moral lessons. That is, until Charles Schultz released "You're in hell Charlie Brown," designed to serve as a gentle reminder that failing to love Jesus Christ could mean one day waking Read more:School
, Specials
Mr. Saturday Night Special 2007-12-12 22:30:00 A Night
in the Life of Yours TrulyLeft: I had the misfortune of running into "Suzette" here at the Arlington Heights Playboy Club. What made it unfortunate was that I was quite inebriated and am now apparently engaged to the chipper fellow pictured. It could be worse, of course. He DOES shave his legs.by CheeseIt's Saturday
night. A time when a young man's fancy turns to his pants, or more pointedly, what's in his pants. Now, I am no longer "young" by most definitions, but I am not quite knocking on death's door either. I can hear the calling of the frothy mug. I feel the desirable tug of a night spent painting the town. I can taste the freedom of neon lights, gorgeous women, beer nuts, and endless testosterone. So I call my closest friend Mike, grab my fedora, and start driving towards the Arlington Heights Playboy Club.It's been years since I've set foot in the club. I figured by now there were new employees and I resemble the picture of myself on the wall less t Read more:Special
, Saturday Night
Rome, Circa 25 B.C. 2007-12-11 22:00:00 Bonus and Meniscus at the Vomitorium, Part I by Guinness"Hail, Bonus!" shouted Meniscus from across the forum. "Where you beheaded?""It's Sunday, you fool, and as customary, I intend to conjoin with Ignoramus at the vomitorium to gorge myself until filled to the gullet, purge, and repeat until my esophogus is squeaky clean.""Oh, but of course! My cousin Virus is visiting from the rivalous region of Gaul, and would enjoy an orgy of food and drink...may he attend?""Virus? Never heard of him and do not care to have my purge ogled by strange Gauls.""Oh, it is but my regret. What thoughts have you of the young fellow, Stimulus Terminus?""Ah, yes, indeed, bring that one along. I could use a bit of purging at the other end, provided either Ramses, Trojan or Magnum are packing the sheepskins, that is." Bonus dismissed Meniscus with a brusque wave of his heavily braceleted arm."Very good, we shall see you at XII sharp then!" called Meniscus after the retreating toga.The vomitorium teamed with Read more:Circa
Ask Schopenhauer's Ghost: The Video 2007-12-10 15:27:00 Helpful relationship advice from a dead, cynical existentialist philosopher.
by Spec & Goldmind Read more:Ghost
Bigots Are All Alike 2007-12-09 19:45:00 by numbsainAh! Heah we go princess, Lou-weegee's Gawmay Cuizeen, eh? Eh? Ya like Eye-talian food don'tcha? Well don'tcha? Ya gotta eat, I mean look atcha, ya nuthin' but skin and bones fuh cryin' out loud. So you could eat, right? Right? Y-e-e-s mother-r-r.Uh-right. Eye-talian food is good. I hope it's not one o' them Mafia owned joints, Yaw fathuh would NEVUH go eat Eye-talian. "They're all mobsters," he'd say...Oh Mom, please!...Ooooh! Red cawpets! Classy joint eh?... Pahty of two please.Spit out your gum, mother.Uh-boy, lookit, ya see dat guy? Ya see Skah-face ovah theah? Mafia written awl over 'em. Oy vey.Mother, he's a waiter.Oh no, Scah-face is a hit man fuh the mob ahm tellin' ya. Look at his eyes... (bas-tuhd) Oh, hello, ah'll have the... um, louey-gweeno crab-on-aro an' do you have Manischevitz? Oh, then just a house white, thank yew.Oh... Moy... Gawd! Lookit, look at dis what just wawked in! It's Chahlie Chan an' the Dragon Lady. Lookit huh; She's prah-bly 95 Read more:Bigots
, Alike
Computer Advancements Surprising the Hell out of Grownups 2007-12-08 20:41:00 In the photo above, a middle-aged man is startled by the functionality of an imac computer. Here, he is viewing a real-time image of himself in "Photo Booth." Such ridiculous expressions have become increasing common and have contributed to a national decline in lockjaw fatalities.by GoldmindAP Reports. Computer
Advancements are increasingly surprising the hell out of grown men and women, a new federal study reveals. Once the exclusive realm of post-depression era Luddites, even America's Atari generation has become aghast at the latest software/hardware developments and the number of otherwise dignified grownups holding their mouths open and wagging their tongues while uttering ridiculous phrases like "this is more real looking than space invaders" has substantially increased. Â "In my day, Intelevision was the cats pajamas," said David Lindholm, a confused gentleman in his late 60's. "My portable phone & carrying case was the shiznit back when I was listening to the Fat Boys
From the Book of Guinnessis, Ch. VII, vs. XI. 2007-12-07 11:43:00 By Guinness "How Jesus Christ was Named"The True Story - abridgedSayeth the Lord:Circa 0 A.D., a virginal vessel who was so nameth Mary, conceived by the hand of thine Lord, a Child. With haste, she was, by the hand of thine Lord thy God, betrothed to the able and gifted servant of thine Lord, the town carpenter, Joe, who believeth, through the wisdom of thine Lord, that she remaineth intact. Some nine months passeth, and whilst the Virgin was able to conceive without spermatazoa, and the Carpenter wielded his hammer with God given potence, and wast never without good wood, they foundeth themselves without a crib for the approaching Child.The Virgin and the Carpenter undertooketh to seeketh a birthing place. They knocketh upon several doors of thine Lord's servants, and were consistently refuseth admittance, they hath traveled for some time, and reeketh of body odor, mule and fowl breath. By the will of the Lord our God, they didst happen upon a meager residence of beasts."A manger!"
When the self aware need time repair, Quadrax is there! 2007-12-23 05:22:00 Quadrax has only a few nanoseconds left to go in a critical photon-cell recharge sequence, when he's assigned another maximum priority mission. The dispatch beacon flashes his dock release sensor, instananeously thrusting his transport luge into a hyperslide foldpath. Four picoseconds later, the luge is repositioned 427 light years away in a distant galaxy. "Travelling, even at thousands of times the speed of light, just takes too damn long."Instructions simultaneously reach his cognition ports preparing him for the situation just 8 picoseconds before the arrival of the anomaly. It's a temporal splice de-synchronization in the carbotertian sector M386 where the sentient inhabitants are highly dependent on perceptual continuity, especially when it comes to the sequential linearity of their precious time continuum."The very structure of their minds would disintegrate without it." Quadrax must mend the splice almost instantaneously or Dennis Baxter, CEO of Genentech Corporation, Planet
ZOOBREAK! 2007-12-22 04:46:00 Baboon: Alright listen up! The eagle flies at midnight. That'll be your cue, big cats. You need to have the perimeter secured by 12:15am. We're looking at two guards. So you have five minutes to stalk 'em, ten minutes to polish 'em off. Lionesses: Baby, that's fast-food for us! / Yeah, the UN-happy meal! Hah! / Hee-hee-hee, you know that's right, girl!Baboon: Then we spring the zebras, okapis, bongos, antelope, gazelles ...y'know, the "legs." The simians are next, so swing by here and we'll follow you guys to the main gate.Zebra: Okay, Babs. We'll lead the way, but make sure your 'mates stay with the herd.Chimp: Hey, don't worry about us: monkey see, monkey do... just like clockwork baby.Baboon: Okay, next order of business is the main gate. Who's taking care of that?Elephant: What's the load rating on that bad boy?Spider monkey: 4000 lb iron gate, 2 ton steel latch, so I'd say... 2500 lbs of pressure should snap it, if you hit it right at the latch. Elephant: Sheeit! Thi
20 Worst Christmas Gifts 2007-12-20 22:48:00 20. Cat Velcro ... Kitty will never stray again19. Ronco mash-o-matic fingerprint eliminator 18. Toothpaste Bomb Set 17. Fart in a Box 16. What's O.J. Done Now? Board Game 15. Bionic Sphincter Kit 14. Dr. Scientist Kit: Rusty nails, hypodermic needle, 10cc tetanus 13. My Pretty Piercing Parlor—Hours of piercing fun for your tongue, ears, nose, and more! 12. Beanie Afterbirth 11. Potty Mouth Pam Doll - Pull her string and she shouts "Doo Doo Head!" and more! 10. Squirrel Farm 9. Pray Station—Cyberchurch game console plays all your favorites: NUN-chuck, The Sermonizer, X-treme Confession, CyberBible 2000, Rabid Dogmas, PriestMeat Escape, Sunday Mass Murderer and more! Virtual morality for home or pew! 8. Slip 'n Fall—Rooftop Outdoor Water Slide 7. Electronic Handheld Ways-to-Commit-Suicide Suggester 6. Severed Chihuahua head key chain 5. Johnny Tweaker: My First Meth Lab!4. Streetwalker Barbie & Big Pimpin' Ken3. Children Buri Read more:Gifts
, Christmas
The Mashugga Megillah of the Bialy 2007-12-20 01:22:00 by numbsainA beautiful thing, a real bialy is. It's like a bagel but without the hole in the middle. A good thing, that; If I'm shelling out my dough, Some schmuck taking dough out of the middle of my bagel, I don't need! What do they think, out of my tuchus there's money flying? I should be so lucky. To impress a lady, I would just moon her. God forbid I should be robbed by a homosexual pervert.But as I was saying, No, instead of a hole, a little indent and some chopped onions and poppy seeds for an extra bonus they put in there. But the starter dough they use, is what makes a bialy "a bialy." And from my mouth to your ear, 150 years ago, in a little town in Poland called Bialystok, that starter dough was first created. Just a little putz, my grandfather was, when one day, from the bakery he owned, his father came home and the most delicious bread rolls they ever ate, he had with him, a basketful of. To my grandfather, a little wad of dough, he handed and said:"Menachem, dis doug
Fashion Faux Paws—Road Kill: All the Rage! 2007-12-17 08:28:00 numbsain presentsHowdy Holler-Day Shoppers!I'm Jiblitz!And I'm Gravy!We're Grablitz and Jibbly er, Jablitz and Gribbly... (Jam it Grablitz!)Jiblitz: And today we're here to stand up and make ya Holler-days about a squa-jillion times easier with some blew-it-yer-self, ex-mess gift eye-deers that'll git them li'l plate-lickers so excited they'll pee in their poop-jay's and just start ricky-shayin' off the walls like bumblebees in a nuke-ro-wave oven! Gravy: Ooh-weevils, Taint no bow to doubt it, Jib, and it ain't gonna cost ya a hot squat on a porty-pot neither. Cuz we manufabricate everything outta common extra-ordin-every-day items.Jiblitz: You shed a mouseful there, Gravy', Santa's little heifers ain't got skaddle on us.Gravy: Today we're gwine to show-n'-tell ya how ta make a fashion mistake-ment outta unlucky jaywalkin' varmints who, through no asphalt o' their own, wound up squarshed under the wheel o' misfortune while trying to live life in the oncoming lane. Ahm Read more:Fashion
Numbsain's Eyewitless Newsflinch HOLIDAY EDITION 2007-12-24 05:07:00 THOUSANDS OF SANTAS ARRESTED!Across the nation, thousands of innocent men in Santa Claus costumes have been arrested and are being held on an array of charges. Public outcry is being ignored as Salvation Army representatives, department store employees and even fathers with young children have been locked up without the possibility of release until after the holidays. Additionally, all sleds, toys and even reindeer are being confiscated as "evidence" at various checkpoints throughout the country, putting a huge damper on the holidays.Following the imprisonment of 2500 Santas and confiscation of over $3 billion in toys and other holiday merchandise, the White House released the following statement:"What we are doing at here is the most biggest smack-down in history there ever was done to the most meanest terrorist threat to ever threatened the American people of America since those buildings were blown up."A White House correspondent who couldn't take it any more, forced his way onto t
DAN'S DISCOUNT SURGERY EMPORIUM ...We cut into you, not your budget! 2007-12-22 15:14:00 (Jing-a-ling-a-ling-a)Dr. Ralph: Howdy Folks! Welcome to the Dan's Discount Surgery Emporium. Can I interest you folks in an appendectomy? We're having a special sale this week!only $399.99! Whattaya say?Bob: No, My appendix is fine. I just...Dr. Ralph: But you never know when it's gonna go bad on ya and you won't find a better deal. How about you miss? Do you ever get headaches?Julie: Oh, Occasionally.Dr. Ralph: I highly recommend a hysterectomy! And guess what? if you get a hysterectomy today, I'll throw in the appendectomy FREE! That's an $899.99 value for just $499.99! How about it miss?Julie: No.Dr. Ralph: Well let me ask you this; do you have any kids?Julie: Yes.Dr. Ralph: Do you plan on having any more?Julie: No.Dr. Ralph: I really think you should try our total abdominal salpingo oopherectomy! We take it all out, the whole reproductive system. You'll feel younger, lighter (easiest 20 pounds you'll ever lose), no hormones to deal with, no hot flashes, you'll be outta h Read more:budget
Amazing “Bird” Dog Learn New Tricks 2008-03-12 09:28:00 Did you ever know that you're my hero,and everything I would like to be?You can fly higher than a beagle,'cause you've got wind beneath your ears....Thank you, thank you, thank dog for you,the wind beneath your ears.Barney Clentcher of North Flummox, Ohio has had a dream since he was a child. For the past twelve years, he's been shouting at Shepherds, screaming at Scotties, yelling at Yorkshires and antagonizing Afghans in an attempt to incite them to flight and render them airborne by any means.“I used to just tell them repeatedly, "You can fly!" Then chuck them out my fifth story window thinking, if these dogs do have the inate ability to fly, wouldn't now be a good time? I mean how stupid do you have to be to not realize, it's fly or die?”His methods are a trifle unorthodox, but, Read more:Amazing
The Banned/Not Banned book list. 2008-03-11 10:10:00 (Continuing our crusade to protect your freedom and bring awareness to your lives, we here at Goldmind's unwind have collected the great banned/not banned book list. For every banned book that you cannot get your fingers on here for various reasons, we offer you a feasible counterpart that you can read with pleasure and depravity while thumbing your nose at the government)1. Banned
- Uncle Tom's Cabin- Harriet Beecher Stowe- Banned for promoting stereotypes about African Americans, this literary classic of the civil war era is no longer attainable.Not Banned- Uncle Joe's bedroom- Colon Polker- still available as an "Adam and Eve" pocket reader, this literary "classic" will never be banned as doing so would set off a flurry of protests from gay activists everywhere.2. Banned- Where's Waldo
Trendsetters of Bangadesh 2008-03-11 08:57:00 Faruq: Please, Sajid, Do not speak of this. I know full well what I have done. I am already regretting my foolishness.Sajid: Of that I have no doubt. I just have one question, Faruq...Faruq: No, Sajid. I know the question you wish to ask and the answer is resoundingly no, it is not reversible.Sajid: Ugh! I am utterly disgusted with you, I warned you.Faruq: Yes you did and I did not heed your warning. I have disgraced and dissapointed you. I throw myself at your mercy. I can only hope that someday you can find it in your heart to forgive me.Sajid: I would not hold my breath. If that day comes, it will not be for a long time. As of now, I officialy disown you as my brother. The grief you have caused me is unthinkable. I can no longer show my face among my peers, I will be forever mocked and
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