Owner: frumstepper URL:http://frumstepper.blogspot.com Join Date: Mon, 29 Oct 2007 05:33:23 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: A Frum (Jewish) Twelve Stepper (12 steps) writes (using \"meditation books\" as an inspiration )about how she is continually reminded that \"Hashem (G-d) is driving the bus\",and about her efforts to \"let go and let G-d\" in Site statistics:Click here
Freedom From Bondage 2008-04-13 23:54:00 Like all the other Jewish Women, I am overwhelmed these days with Pesach preparations. Although most of these seem to be physical preparations, like cleaning my house and ridding it of all chometz, I am reminded at every shiur (Torah class) that I attend, that the chometz we are symbolically removing is that of the "evil inclination" from our hearts.It is hard for me not to recall my very first seder after beginning my 12 step program, where I suddenly began crying, with tears literally running down my face. I did this without much inhibition, despite the company of others at the table.What was it? The fact that for the very first time in my life, I could actually understand what "freedom from bondage" meant.Those who have never really been addicted to something can still probably identify Read more:Freedom
Blog Writing- Why? 2008-04-14 22:22:00 My sponsor reminded me the other day why I began writing this blog. Although many people have written to me to thank me for the inspiration my blog has sometimes given them, it's important for me to remember that I write this blog for my own recovery. It keeps me grounded, as well as connected with my Higher Power. It hammers home for me the reasons why I work this 12 step program, and why I NEED my program. Writing is one of the tools for working the 12 steps. And, just like my meetings and my sponsor(and the other tools), if I don't use the tools, I will lose out and my recovery will slacken.In program we have many tools, and even though there may be times when one tool is more effective for me, I need to have them all in my toolkit, so that I can reach in and take out the one that will
Straight Talking 2008-04-20 23:54:00 And so, it happened again. I can't say I was really surprised, but the truth is that I was. When I got to the part in the Seder (Nishmas) where it talks about gratitude to Hashem (my HP) for helping me in every area of my life, as well as for taking "us" out of egypt and slavery, I started crying again,just like my first seder in program. Now, I know it wasn't just the hour, and it wasn't just the atmosphere. It was the words themselves: "To You alone we give thanks. Were our mouth as full of song as the sea, and our tongue as full of joyous song as its multitudeof waves, and our lips as full of praise as the breadth of the heavens, and our eyes as brilliant as the sun and the moon, and our hands as outspread as eagles of the sky and our feet as swift as hinds- we still could not thank You Read more:Straight
, Talking
The 1-2-3 Dance 2008-04-24 16:37:00 There are times when I totally forget to turn to , or to talk to my HP. Sometimes when life gets overwhelming for me, or when other people push all my buttons, I find myself getting antsy and nervous. Fortunately, I don't "pick up" anymore in these situations and have carved out some fine "red lines" for myself. Not only that, but these days I even connect with my sponsor or with other friends to talk over some of these issues. Before I began to work my 12 step program (over a decade ago!) these are the exact types of situations that would trigger me to act out with various addictions. It is only through program that I learned how to turn to others for help and support. So I'm grateful that I've learned how to come out of my own shell of frustration and fear, and look to other people for h Read more:Dance
Start Sweeping Already! 2008-04-28 11:11:00 From The Promise of A New Day, April 28: "Our treatment of others in the home, at work or play is our invitation for similar treatment. In fact, our every action, be it overt or covert, is noted by someone. We are always teaching someone how to treat us..... How I'm treated today will mirror how I'm treating others. Will I be proud?".Wow. When I went to look through my "meditation books" before writing just now, I somehow knew that something really relevant to my current state would pop out at me. I just didn't know how loudly it would shout in my ear.Lately I've been in a situation where another person has been literally "giving off" waves of anger. It took a lot of soul searching on my part to realize that I was doing the very same thing. A good question for me might be- which one of us Read more:Start
Being Green But Not about the environment 2008-05-11 15:35:00 From A Day at A Time, May 11: May I tackle only those things which I have a chance of changing And change must start with me, a day at a time. May I know that acceptance often is a form of courage. I pray not for super-bravery, but just for persistence to meet what life brings me without being overcome by it...courage is meeting one day at a time".It's a good thing that I decided to sit down and w Read more:Green
Never Weary in Prayer 2008-05-16 08:41:00 From 24 Hours: May 15:" Never grow weary in prayer....prayer changes things for you... practice praying until your trust in G-d becomes strong....until prayer seems to become communion with G-d ".Last week someone told me that when she prays, she feels like she's talking to a wall, that no one is there, or listening. I asked her if she thought that connecting with G-d means presenting him with our Read more:Prayer
Flip of a Switch 2008-05-19 07:16:00 From The Big Book of AA, pg. 302: "I had a lot of fun... I enjoyed it immensely, and then, on one day that I can't recall, I stepped across the line that alcoholics know so well, and from that day on, drinking was miserable... ".I don't quite remember when that switch took place- from my thinking that I was having fun, to my realizing that I had a serious problem; when I went from wanting 1 to ne
Inside and Outside 2008-06-05 14:56:00 From Twenty Four Hours a Day, June 5 : " Very quietly G-d speaks through your thoughts and feelings. Heed the Divine voice of your conscience. Listen for this and you will never be disappointed in the results in your life. "Recently I heard a lecturer ask: Where is G-d? The audience answered- "everywhere". He continued- "Where in this room?" They said - "all around". "Is He in the air, or in this Read more:Outside
Inner Journey 2008-06-12 22:05:00 From 24 Hours a Day, June 13: " If you are honestly trying to live the way you believe G-d wants you to live, you can get guidance from G-d in times of quiet communion with Him, provided your thoughts are directed towards G-d's will and all good things".Yesterday, I had an opportunity,once again ,to spend an extended period of time "actively" meditating. In this experience, there was a leader f Read more:Journey
Poppa Can You Hear Me? 2008-07-06 02:18:00 From A Day At A Time, July 6: " May I realize that I am a child of G-d. And His loving-parent promise to give me what I need, not what I might want, is His way of teaching me to be what I am, not what I dreamed I should be ".I like this, because it says so many things to me. First of all, it's so important for me to remember that I don't really know what is best for me. I might think I do, but I'
A Little Child's Faith 2008-07-02 13:09:00 From 24 hours a day, July 2 : " I pray that I may become like a child in faith and hope...".In deciding to write now, I picked up this book first. Although much of today's writing comes from a religion other than Judaism, I could relate to this last quote on the bottom, as it reminded me of a true story I read.Once there was a young couple with two small children. One day the 4 or 5 year old ask Read more:Faith
Who's Expecting? 2008-06-29 22:47:00 Expectations are Premeditated Resentments; I know I've written about it before, but it's time to talk about it again. It's important for me to remember not to have any expectations-either of myself or anyone else- because all they do is set me up for disappointment.If I don't expect anyone to act in a particular way, then I will not get angry or frustrated if they don't. Being judgmental of mysel Read more:Expecting
I'm a Believer 2008-07-16 14:36:00 From 24 Hours a Day," G-d can be your shelter from the storm. Each day, seek safety in G-d's secret place, in communion with Him ".The other day, I had the opportunity to see a magnificent view from a very "high" vantage point. The person I was with said- "Can't you imagine that this is the way G-d looks down on us?" I answered- "actually, no. How can He be looking down on us, if He is right down
Climbing Straight up The Sturdy Ladder 2008-07-15 13:47:00 From 24 Four Hours a Day, July 15:" You are climbing up the ladder of life, which reaches into eternity. Would G-d plant your feet upon an insecure ladder? "Many years ago, I was privileged to help an immigrant adjust to his new country. He had undergone many difficulties, and had suddenly hit a new one. I asked him a similar question: Do you think that Hashem (Higher Power) has brought you this Read more:Straight
, Ladder
Time to Refill 2008-08-06 11:16:00 From 24 Hours a Day, Aug. 6: " Refill
ing with the spirit is something you need every day. To do this, you need these times of quiet communion, away, alone, without noise, without activity. You need this dwelling apart, this shutting yourself away in the very secret place of your being, away alone with your Maker. From these times of communion you come forth with new power".I love the analogy of
Fine Attunement 2008-08-01 05:59:00 From 24 hours a day, Aug.1:You should strive for a union between our purpose in life and the purpose of the Divine Principle directing the Universe…I pray that I may become attuned to the will of G-d.I'll buy that one. Even though they are using a "funny name" for G-d, the message fits. Torah sources have long said the same thing. My job on earth is to become close to G-d, to cleave to Him by d
The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow 2008-07-30 19:24:00 From 24 hours a day, July 30: The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow, with its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise, and perhaps its poor performance. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control... it is as yet unborn".Yes, tomorrow holds nothing but promise- the sun will rise and will set, the day will bring much happiness to some, as well as much sorrow to others.
Surrendering it all 2008-08-19 09:18:00 From Twenty Four Hours a Day, August 18: "To realize G-d's presence you must surrender to His will in the small as well as in the big things in life."I think most people are more willing to trust in G-d for the big things in life. They recognize that G-d is in charge of health, sickness, life and death. They often recognize that G-d will determine their mate, their job, and other important issues.
Faith Is The Soul's Breathing 2008-08-18 05:20:00 From 24 Hours a Day, Aug. 17: "G-d's grace is like the sunshine. Let your whole being be enwrapped in the Divine spirit. Faith
is the soul's breathing in of the Divine Spirit. .. it heals and cures the mind".This is true, because there are times when I can easily let life "get to me". It gets me down; it gets me upset; it gets me aggravated, frustrated, angry, disappointed. So what is the cure? T
Rediscovering Our Dignity 2008-08-17 06:10:00 From Seek Sobriety, Find Serenity, Aug. 17 : "We do things during active addiction that are beneath our dignity, probably because we do not feel dignified. As we recover, our increased sense of self-worth not only prevents our relapse into use but also disallows all indecent and unethical behavior".When I used to hear the saying "Love thy neighbor as thyself", I couldn't understand this. Why would
I Think I'll Let Him 2008-08-16 15:22:00 From Twenty Four Hours a Day, Aug. 16: "Will power and self-knowledge will never help in the strange mental blank spots when we are tempted to drink... The spiritual answer and the program of action are the only hope".Yeah, there were many years when I kept telling myself that I could get rid of my problems on my own. I could do it, if only I really wanted to. I could do it, if only I tried to, ha
A Spiritual Body Scan 2008-09-12 09:46:00 From Seek Sobriety, Find Serenity, Sept. 12 : " A true self awareness may prevent addiction.... Some of us are very self conscious. When our self is okay, we don't think about it. Self consciousness is a symptom that something is wrong. ... With emotional discomfort, the pain is often because we think or feel something is wrong, even when there isn't ".I like the differentiation between self awar
We Lucky Folks 2008-09-10 23:40:00 From 24 Hours a Day, Sept. 11 :" The grace of G-d is that power which enables a human being to change from a useless, hopeless individual to a useful, normal person. G-d also manifests Himself as love- love for other people, compassion for their problems, and a real willingness to help them. The grace of G-d also manifests itself as peace of mind and serenity of character We can have plenty of pow
The Wrong Club 2008-09-10 13:00:00 From The Promise of a New Day, Sept. 10: "Did nature (read- G-d) really make us so that we despise thouse who love us? Groucho Marx's joke- ' I wouldn't belong to any club that would have me for a member' implies the same thing. But this can't be; we're children of the universe, each of us exactly as lovable and fallible as all the others ".Yesterday I had the opportunity to meditate for a long s Read more:Wrong
There IS a choice, you know 2008-09-09 01:10:00 From The Promise of A New Day, Sept. 9:"Painful situations, relationships that hurt us, memories of experiences that pinch our nerve endings need not imprison us.... However... we become obsessed with it.... we choose to wallow in the pain , rather than learn from it ".I think the important word here is "choose". That implies that there is another way. We have an opportunity to learn from the thi
Shelter From The Storm 2008-09-07 08:30:00 From 24 Hours a Day, Sept. 7 : "Human beings, in their troubles and difficulties, need nothing so much as a refuge, a place to relax where they can lay down their burdens and get relief from cares. Say to yourself: 'G-d is my refuges'. Say it until its truth sinks into your very soul... Nothing can seriously upset you or make you afraid, if G-d is truly your refuge ".Animals can sense when they ar Read more:Shelter
, Storm
Rosh Chodesh Elul- The last month 2008-08-31 07:26:00 August 31, Rosh Chodesh Elul:How do I get my head around the fact that we are approaching the new year? How do I recognize that this is both a new beginning and an end to the previous year? Am I satisfied by my behavior during the last year? What do I want to accomplish during the coming year? What do I wish for? Am I in sync with what my HP wants me to be? Have I accomplished what I wanted to dur
Write Yourself In The Book Of Life 2008-09-28 14:35:00 It is the day before Rosh Hashana, and all around me I see people getting ready. I ask myself: am I ready? What have I been doing to prepare myself? What have I not yet done? Mostly I am busy with the food preparations, planning the meals, buying the necessary items etc. That's what a woman is supposed to do, no? But this is a very different type of chag, and although there are the usual food pre Read more:Write
, Yourself
Counting Your Change Instead of my Own 2008-09-25 08:27:00 From Seek Sobriety, Find Serenity, Sept. 26 :"Some people have no problem taking a 'moral inventory', because they take other people's inventories. It is quite simple to discover what everyone else is doing wrong, but rather difficult to pinpoint our own defective behavior. Our rationalization capacities work overtime to justify everything we do ".That's for sure. It's so easy for me to see what Read more:Counting
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