Owner: frumstepper URL:http://frumstepper.blogspot.com Join Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2007 19:28:38 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: A Frum (Jewish) Twelve Stepper (12 steps) writes (using "meditation books" as an inspiration )about how she is continually reminded that "Hashem is driving the bus", and about her efforts to "let go and let G-d" in dealing wi Site statistics:Click here
Patience is a virtue 2007-10-27 17:09:00 From Easy Does It, Oct. 27: "Patience is important to our growth and peace of mind. Without patience, we would have difficulty holding down anxiety, anger, envy and unreasonable pride...When we set goals that we can reach and are patient with our progress, we save ourselves a lot of anxiety. "I remember reading a sign that said- G-d please grant me patience, but I want it right now! Well, I am guilty of impatience. Guilty of wanting what I want. And yes, it has proven to be a problem for me, in holding down all of those things mentioned above: anxiety, anger, envy and pride. Amazing to think that all of those might be solved with a little patience.Do you know where I learned a lesson about patience? It was something I learned from two doves who took turns sitting on the little eggs in their nest, right outside my home. I learned so much from those birds that summer, long ago. First of all, I noticed how whichever one sat in the daytime stayed until the other one flew back to take its
Right Here, Right Now 2007-10-25 02:51:00 From Twenty Four HOurs a Day, Oct. 25 : "I have finally realized the great fact that all I have is now. This sweeps away all vain regret and it makes my thought of the future free of fear. Now is mine. I can do what I want with it. I own it, for better or worse. What I do now, in this present moment is what makes up my life. My whole life is only a succession of nows".When I can think about life this way, stress takes on a whole different picture. Most of my stress comes from worrying about the future, and all the "what-if's", or the "what was", meaning- that I usually torture myself over all the things that I 'could' or 'should' have done differently.So, between the future stuff and the past stuff, there's not much time left for right now. And essentially that's all I have. There's nothing I can do to change what's already happened (except to regret it decide that I want to act differently the next time), and there's no way that I can really do anything about the future Read more:Right
It's not for sale 2007-10-24 11:51:00 From Easy Does it, Oct. 24 : "If honesty is the best policy, most of us were delinquent in following it before we found recovery. We were reluctant to tell the truth because we were afraid of the consequences. Our dishonesties led us away from our true selves. We felt we were living behind hundreds of masks.... When we honestly look at our life now and account for our actions, we reclaim our identity".One of the best things we learn in the 12 Step program is how to be honest- not only with others, but also with ourselves. The masks that we wear- all of us- are hard to keep track of. So are the lies we tell to cover up what we do, what we think, sometimes, even who we really are.When I first joined the program, I learned that a sponsor was someone I could trust with all my "stuff", and she would still accept me and love me, despite it all. It's not unlike a therapist, but with some remarkable differences: ; A sponsor is someone who had the same type of problem that we have, and w
Is That My Smile, or Yours? 2007-10-23 00:26:00 From The Promise of A New Day, Oct. 23: "How tempting it is to make another person responsible for our happiness, an d how absurd. To give such power to others means we're at their mercy; it does not mean we're happy. Whereas, accepting full responsibility for our own acts and feelings does give us the power to be as happy as we choose, as often as we choose".Wow. Although I've heard this before, it reminds me of how much power and credit I used to give to others: "You made me angry; that salesman got me so upset; why did she get me into such a bad mood; etc.," These days when I hear someone say something like this, it doesn't even sound right to my ears. But there is another area where we don't even realize that we are doing the very same thing- that's in resentments. One of my favorite program sayings is "resentment is like letting someone else live rent-free in your head". The person whom we resent doesn't usually know what we are thinking about them. If they did, they prob Read more:Smile
, Yours
Stop Fooling Yourself 2007-10-22 07:06:00 From Seek Sobriety, Find Serenity, Oct. 22: "A fool may be open to learning, whereas someone who thinks himself wise will never learn anything- as it says in Proverbs 26:12- 'A fool is better off than someone who considers himself wise' People with years of sobriety state: ' there has never been a meeting at which I didn't gain something'. People who abandon the program say , 'there was no point in going to meetings. It was the same thing over and over again'.The former are are open to learning, the latter are not".Well, that explains why despite all my smarts, before program, I often got stuck in the same rut over and over again. How many times had I promised myself to stop doing something, and then, before you knew it, I was right back in the same situation, doing the exact same thing I had sworn not to do anymore? In fact, in program, we often say " Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is the definition of insanity". Mmm, I guess that sanit Read more:Yourself
The Smallest Doorway 2007-10-21 10:50:00 From 24 hours a day, Oct. 21: " Keep a listening ear, an ear bent to catch the sound of the gentle knocking at the door of your heart by the spirit of G-d. Then open the door of your heart and let's G-d's spirit come in". The first thing that comes to mind is the old riddle- Where is G-d?.... Wherever you let Him in.The second is the famous quote : "Open for me an opening the size of a pinhole, and I will widen it to a doorway the size of the world"Both of these are saying essentially the same thing: Hashem is there, waiting for me to call on Him, waiting for me to let Him in. The catch is, that I am usually too stubborn to want any help with my problems; I keep fooling myself into thinking that I can handle it all on my own. Not only that, but there are so many things that I mistakenly think are my responsibility to solve, when they really are not even my job.So, what is this "knocking on the door of my heart"? Well, things happen to me all the time that can't possibly be "chance"
Your Mission, should you decide to accept it... 2007-10-20 15:28:00 From 24 Hours a Day, Oct. 20: "If you decide to accept whatever happens as G-d's will for yourself, whatever it may be, your burdens will be lighter."I'm glad that I just read this, because it is helping me already; Today, we read about Avraham and his trials. That got me thinking. "I've had trials- lots of them; maybe even more than 10. How does G-d think of the way I've handled them, the way I still believe in Him, despite, or maybe even because of, my trials?- And why is He testing me so much?"I don't mean to be sacrilegious, nor do I want to compare myself to Abraham aveinu, but all of us have been through lots of tough times. How are we supposed to view our own experiences and difficulties?That's why this little quote was helpful- it put things back into perspective for me. When I can recognize that whatever happens to me occurs for a specific reason,and was planned out by my Higher Power Himself, then it's easier for me to take life's challenges- Because then I underst Read more:Mission
Who Moved? 2007-10-19 07:56:00 From 24 Hours a Day, Oct. 19, "The grace of G-d is always available for every human being who sincerely calls for help".Was the author of this little book reading King David's words? Dovid said long ago " Karov Hashem lechol Kor'av, lechol asher yikrauhu be'emes". -(Hashem is close to all who call upon Him- to all who call upon Him sincerely- as translated by Artscroll).I guess the operative word here is "call". Surely G-d is around all the time, in every single place in the world and even outside the world. There is no vacuum where G-d isn't, no atom which G-d isn't a part of. Which means that G-d is also inside me, and inside all of us. So what is the "chidush" the new point, in this idea?It's pretty simple, but more complicated than I want to admit; Yes, "Hashem is here, Hashem is there, Hashem is truly everywhere", like the little kindergarten kids sing. There are actually 2 problems here, though.1. That I don't always recognize His presence, and therefore I may not act acco
Humility is not Humiliation 2007-10-18 01:53:00 From 24 Hours a Day, Oct. 18: Not until you have failed can you learn true humility.Humility
arises from a deep sense of gratitude to G-d for giving you the strength to rise above past failures. Humility is not inconsistent with self-respect. ... The humble person is tolerant of others' failings and does not have a critical attitude toward the foibles of others....This is certainly true. Failing at things puts everything in a different light. When I have failed at something, it teaches me that life isn't always so slick and easy. It teaches me that I have to work at it, often failing numerous times before I can learn a skill or "get it right". When I think of a baby who is learning to walk, I can see her taking one step, then falling, but getting right up again. She doesn't give up and say "I think I'll just keep crawling for the rest of my life".By failing and then trying again, I learn to appreciate that others will also fail at the things they attempt, and this gives me tolera
How are the Temple guards doing? 2007-10-17 04:42:00 From Seek Sobriety, Find Serenity, Oct. 17: "A person is composed of a physical body that houses a divine soul. The body is thus a temple that contains the Divine, and as such should be accorded its due honor..... Just as sobriety restores respect for the body so that we no longer deface it, it must also restore the dignity of the body's action. And our behavior must reflect the sanctity of the human being."I can't even count how many times I've done things to myself that would never be done to or inside a temple. Whether it was eating or drinking too much or the wrong things, staying awake way past the time when I should have gone to sleep, or using something that I would never give to a baby, it's all just as bad. And this doesn't count behaviors that I sure wouldn't want an audience in a temple to watch on a large screen. When I began to learn about this "divinity" of my soul and body, I realized that I had to start acting differently. Dr. (Rabbi) Abe Twerski tells the story Read more:Temple
, doing
Faith and Trust Are What It Takes 2007-10-16 14:05:00 From Twenty Four Hours a Day, Oct. 16th: "Since we cannot see G-d, we must believe in Him without seeing. What we CAN see clearly is the change in a human being, when he sincerely asks G-d for the strength to change".My faith in my HP is what keeps me going even when the world, and my life, seem to be a mess. But my trust in Him, that things are going according to a plan, His plan, is even more important. It's kind of hard to differentiate between the two. Faith
is the belief, trust is the way I count on that belief- because when push comes to shove, if I have faith and don't act accordingly, then it isn't worth all that much.It's kind of like when we were kids, and a friend would stand behind me and say, "come on, just relax and fall back and I will catch you". Well, I don't know about you, but I wasn't too quick to do that, and didn't really trust that I would be caught. Probably because once or twice I wasn't! And that doesn't even include the time when someone pulled ou
Walking on the Right Road 2007-10-15 04:01:00 From Twenty Four Hours a Day: Oct. 15, 2007 "Live with G-d in that secret place of the spirit and you will have a feeling of being on the right road. You will have a deep sense of satisfaction. The world will have meaning and you will have a place in the world, work to do that counts in the eternal order of things. ...I pray that I not only work for now, but also for eternity". This reminds me of "The Promises"- especially the part where it says:"That feeling of uselessness and self- pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change". In the many years since I began program, this promise has come true for me- the world has taken on new meaning and my days are different- my own feeling of purpose is different. The road I travel on is different, because I know that I am not alone on this road. I know that I am being directed, guided, loved, on this road, a Read more:Right
, Walking
Progress not perfection 2007-10-14 07:10:00 From A Day at a Time: Oct. 14: "Fundamental progress has to do with the reinterpretation of basic ideas..... we make progress each time we get rid of an old idea, each time we uncover a character defect, each time we become ready to have that defect removed and then humbly ask G-d to remove it. We make progress, one day at a time, as we shun the first drink, the first pill, the first addictive act that will so quickly swerve us from the path of growth to the road back to torment and despair. Have i considered the progress I've made since I've come to the program".Sometimes I think I am too tough on myself. If things aren't fixed completely, then it's never good enough for me. How come in program, it's enough to just "uncover" the character defect, or just to become willing to let it go? Why are my own standards so high? Why do I think it must be "all fixed" when for program, and for Hashem, it's enough to make that first move, or even just to have that first realization that som
Keep on Striving and Climbing the ladder 2007-10-13 15:23:00 From 24 Hours a day, Oct. 13: "Keep striving for something better and there can be no stagnation in your life.... Do not misspend time over past failures. Count the lessons learned from failures as rungs upon the ladder of progress".I have heard it said many times in Shiurim- Life is like a down escalator- if you're not climbing up, then you will be pulled downward-. It's all about striving to become a better person and according to the Ramchal- working at growing closer to Hashem. Program would agree with this, because, it usually is in synch with Torah Values. If I don't keep aiming higher and higher, then I will just be pulled down.But recently I also heard someone say that even when we climb up the rungs, we should remember to keep one foot on the lower rung (to keep us steady), and also remember where we came from. This helps us not to fall all the way down if we have a slip- it keeps us balanced. In program it's known as "keeping the memory green". This means that I have to r
Working program is a high! 2007-10-12 08:17:00 From A Day at a Time- October 12- "Many people we meet in The Program radiate a kind of special glow- a joy for living that shows in their faces and very bearing.They've put aside alcohol and other mood-altering chemicals and have progressed to the point where they're "high" on life itself".I always talk about my life in terms of two portions- BP and AP- Before Program and After Program. Although the larger part was BP, it pales in comparison to the current part- the AP part. It's hard to explain to someone who isn't in program what these changes are made up of. How does one describe recovery when much of it is "invisible" to the eye?Many years ago, I wrote my own definition of what recovery is for me, and I will paste some of it here: To me recovery means learning how to deal with the daily situations in my life without turning to substances instead of finding solutions. It means being able to have healthy relationships with close friends and family members, being honest with m
The Serenity Prayer revisited 2007-10-10 22:22:00 From A Day at a Time, Oct. 11-" May my HP show me new and deeper meaning in the SerenityPrayer
....(G-d grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference) May I realize that serenity, courage and wisdom are all that I need to cope with living, but that none of these three have value unless they grow out of my trust in a Higher Power".I never cease to be amazed by the writings in these little books- by the power they have to evoke a spark of agreement and recognition in my own heart. As I grow in years and in program, I realize more and more that facing life and its challenges takes great courage, and wisdom, and also the ability to "accept the things I cannot change" with serenity. But unless I first trust that the world is not a haphazard place, where meteorites are wildly careening out of control , but rather, that there is a Loving Father who is directing the galactic show, I will live my
Is annoyance worth the price of inner peace? 2007-10-09 21:30:00 From 24 hours: "Try not to fight back......If you are burdened by annoyances, you will lose your inward peace and the spirit of G-d will be shut out".Yesterday I was listening to a shiur which quoted the Gra' about how to deal with anger. "If you respond to someone else's anger with a retort, you will only make the situation worse by egging on the other person even more", the speaker said. He took his words from the ways that Yaakov responded to Lavan and to Eisav.So how does this affect my own life? I've noticed that when I jump at people (even if they "started it"), their automatic response is to cringe- well, who wouldn't?I also need to realize that if someone else is angry, they might have a valid reason. In this case, I need to step back and do a min- 10th step;Did I do something wrong that angered them?And I need to think- does responding with a retort do anything to heal our relationship, or does it merely, as the Gra suggests, just get them angrier?And what are these "annoy Read more:price
Do I serve my Master well? 2007-10-09 19:55:00 From 24 Hours a Day : Oct. 10: "You are G-d's servant. Serve Him cheerfully and readily. Nobody likes a servant who avoids extra work, who complains about being called from one task to do one less enjoyable. A master would feel that he was being ill serve
d by such a servant.....Try to do your day's work the way you believe G-d wants you to do it, never shirking any responsibility and often going out of your way to be of service."Whew. I never looked at it like that. Sure I know in my heart that I'm not the one in charge, and that Hashem is the Master
. I've been in program for years, and I've been "talking the talk" that teaches me this. But do I honestly realize that this means not kvetching or complaining about the things that "fall in my hands" to do? Do I begrudgingly do them, or do I shirk and try to get someone else to do my jobs? Do I always greet people nicely, do I make them comfortable? Do I help those in my day who seem to need help, or do I secretly wish that someone
Stop second-guessing and start letting go! 2007-10-09 13:21:00 From Oct. 9, A DAY AT A TIME- "May I no longer second-guess G-d with my specific solutions, but pray only that His will be done. May I count my blessings instead of my beseechings".Yup, that's something that I keep doing- making lists for G-d of all the things I want Him to take care of. Seems like it should be a good thing to do.... except that I don't really know what is best in most situations...even though sometimes I'm pretty sure that my solution is the best one, in hindsight, it usually turns out that I was way off base.If I look back on the many times that life presented challenges, and on the answers that I thought were the right ones, I can see much more clearly that I know absolutely nothing about running the world. But that's okay, because I'm not really the one sitting in the director's chair. The problem is that I keep forgetting this. So, when I run around like a "chicken without a head" trying to get things done my way, or issuing instructions to everyone el
Do I still pray for the courage to change? 2007-10-03 09:20:00 From Oct. 4, Seek Sobriety Find Serenity: "The concept of change is important to the veteran in sobriety as well as the neophyte. It is easy to become complacent after several years of absinence, and to think that we have already made all the essential changes. Obviously, this is not true. Why else do we still say the Serneity Prayer? Why else do we pray for the courage to change?This is a really good point.Although I continue to struggle on, despite years of abstinence, sometimes I forget that change is not so easy and not always so desirable. Unless, of course, I want someone ELSE to change! That one is always easy- if he or she would change, then things would be so much better- right?!My personal mantra is "to grow and discover, to change and become". If life isn't about growth and change, then what am I doing here, anyhow? Of course, the Jewish Masters (such as the Ramchal) tell us that the purpose of life is to grow closer with our Creator (otherwise known as HP), which can best
Priceless gems are never free 2007-10-01 23:00:00 From Seek Sobriety find Serenity, Oct. 2:"Few nonaddicts take a personal moral inventory, and still fewer bare their souls to another person. Consequently, few people ever achieve a self-awareness.... perhaps being an addict is a high price to pay for self-awareness, but things that are truly precious and valuable do not come cheap."When I first came into my 12 step program and heard the expression "grateful recovering addict", I could not understand what people were saying. How could they possibly be grateful for having such a problem? What a delusion! It was only after I began to reap the benefits of working a program that I began to understand; Program has helped me to know myself, to improve myself, to be honest and to be willing to change. It has brought me closer to my HP than I had ever been before. It has enabled me to find meaning and purpose in my life.Could I have achieved any of this without having first been addicted to things that allowed me to hide from life? Perhaps, bu Read more:Priceless
Do the challenges I face hurt or heal me? 2007-09-30 00:14:00 From Seek sobriety, find Serenity, Sept. 29: ..."G-d may remove our undesirable charachter traits, or it may be His will for us to continue the struggle, because as we struggle to acheive and maintain mastery (0ver our biological drives), we grow in character and spirituality"So this explains why He doesn't just take it all away and make our lives easier; We are meant to grow from our struggles, to grow from the trials we go through. From each difficulty, I get stronger. It's almost like growing a callus on my finger when I try playing the guitar. At first, the skin is soft, and aches from the pressure of the strings. But as I continue to play, the tone becomes more clear, and finally the string no longer hurts me. Does this mean that I grow "callused" to life's challenges, and care less about things, or become less sensitive? I don't believe so.Instead , I become stronger and more able to withstand the difficulties with each effort that I make to overcome them. After all, why I
Where does humility fit in? 2007-09-26 09:04:00 From Growing Each Day, Sept.26,2007 (Tishrei 13)-How can one remain humble when one exercises great authority and is the recipient of homage and adulation? "Simple," said Rabbi Moshe of Kobrin."If a king hangs his crown on a peg in the wall, would the peg boast that its extreme beauty drew the king's attention to it?....one peg may be higher on the wall than another, but that does not make it a better peg. "This sounds amazing. It puts people in their place, which is exactly where each of us is supposed to be. Since we each have our own job to do, it doesn't really matter which job one has, as long as we each do it to the best of our ability right now at this moment. That means that if I have a headache, and I can only function at 80% of what I might usually be able to do- that's okay, because it's the best I can do right now. More than this, it also means that if someone else is the manager, and I am the worker, it doesn't mean that his job is more important than mine is; it just
The seeds of our efforts 2007-09-24 00:49:00 Sept 25- From A Day at a Time: G-d give me the patience and the perseverance to keep on hoeing the long row, even when the end of it is out of sight..... The harvest will come, abundant enough to share, if I can stick to my garden-tending". So much like the stories I have always heard of the man who was seen planting trees that would take 70 years to grow and asked why he bothered. "I am planting for my children's' future" he answered.I have learned that the important part is the working on myself and the growing that I do. Just like a flower can only be seen to grow if we use time-lapse photography, so too, do I grow in my spirituality and in my personal development at a pace that is almost indiscernible. As it is happening, sometimes the little pieces seem almost useless, as if this kind act, like making a phone call to someone who would appreciate it, or that little change in my demeanor, such as not getting angry quickly this time, don't make much difference at all.And yet, as
Does Yom Kippur count as a (program style) Spiritual Experience? 2007-09-23 00:16:00 From 24 Hours a Day, Sept. 23, 2007 A Spiritual experience is something that brings about a personality change.By surrendering ourselves to G-d, we are changed."Yesterday was Yom kiuppur. I cannot think of a much more spiritual experience than spending the day talking directly with my HP, without food or drink, showers, or other physical pleasures getting in the way. For me it was a day to talk with my Tatte, to tell Him all about the things that I need in the coming year, about all the things that worry me, about my regret for any wrongdoing that I did in the past year, and mostly, about my wish to become closer to Him. Looking around the shul, I could see everyone else doing the same thing.I was reading during shul about teshuva, and the main point that I came out with was- Teshuva is about creating a relationship with my HP. Instead of being distanced, which is what happens when we sin, teshuva is literally "returning" to Him, i.e. erasing that distance caused by our sins.During my Read more:count
How Noisy Is It Today? 2007-10-31 10:12:00 From Twenty Four Hours A Day:" In all of us there is an inner consciousness that tells of G-d, an inner voice that speaks to our hearts. It is a voice that speaks to us intimately, personally, in a time of quiet meditation. It is like a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path. We can reach out into the darkness and figuratively touch the hand of G-d ".The existence of G-d, Hashem, is a reality. Whether or not I can sense His presence, whether or not I can hear His voice, is entirely up to me. Do I keep so busy that I have no time to feel Him close to me? Do I make so much noise that I can't hear His voice?I can keep busy every second of every day, by talking on the phone, listening to my mp3 player, reading a book, working, writing, using the computer- etc. And when I do this, it's hard for me to Hear G-d, because, unlike music or sound, His voice gets louder when there is silence. But how much "quiet time" do we have in our lives? An old riddle asks: Where is G-d? Wherever You Read more:Noisy
, Today
A Good Deal 2007-10-30 12:03:00 From Easy Does It, Oct. 30 : " Self confidence is an important lesson we learn in our recovery. Most of us start our Program with little confidence in ourselves. As we work the Steps, we begin to be confident that we can be whatever we choose to be, if we want success enough and if we keep on growing". Yes, that is something that I can surely attest to. Before program, I had no self confidence at all. How much confidence can someone have when they can't even stop behaviors that they keep vowing to stop? when they end up hating themselves for this lack of discipline? Or perhaps for the very behaviors themselves!You're probably wondering how 12 little steps can make much of a dent in this type of thing... Well, first of all, they are not really little steps. Even though some of them might sound pretty simple to those who are unfamiliar with them, like "made a decision to turn our lives and our will over to the care of G-d as we understood Him" (step 3) - after all, how hard can it be
If Truth Be Told.... 2007-10-29 01:05:00 From Seek Sobriety, Find Serenity, Oct. 29: " For many people, truth is a virtue; for people in recovery, it is life saving... no one has ever maintained truthfulness while being an addict.... Lying can generally be avoided if we resolve never to do anything that we might later have to deny. This dedication to truthfulness yields rich dividends, because not only does it eliminate the need to lie but it also avoids doing things that we might wish to conceal".MMm...good point, there. If I don't do anything that I would want to hide from anyone else, then there is no need to lie about it. Seems to me that this wouldn't only apply to addicts; How many of the "normal" folks out there use the "white lie" instead of being straight with friends and co-workers? How many tell their kids "say I'm not home" when they don't want to talk on the phone?Okay, okay, I'm not here to accuse anyone else, but simply to speak about myself. Yeah, I did plenty of lying in my time, especially when it came Read more:Truth
I got the Hint 2007-10-28 07:24:00 From For Today, Oct. 26 :"Other people's faults invariably match my own. When I notice some particularly objectionable shortcoming in a person, I can generally be sure it is a defect I detest in myself ".Uh oh. Sounds pretty ominous. Is that why I always notice all those annoying things about my friends and family? I guess it's a sure sign of what I am guilty of myself. It's easy for me to see all those faults in other people, and to nudge them to start changing, but quite another thing for me to go about making changes in my own life. But Hashem is really smart, And although I've often felt that He has a really great sense of humor, it's amazing how Hashem gives us hints about what we need to do to improve our lives.When I see someone who is short tempered, or someone who is busy "orchestrating the show" and telling others what to do, it usually pushes my buttons, and that's because I am guilty of these very same character defects.Thanks to my 12 step program however, I've b
Fear and Faith are Mutually Exclusive 2007-11-05 13:47:00 From 24 Hours a Day, Nov. 5 :" As a result of my new way of living, I have lost much of my fear. It used to control me; it was my master. It paralyzed my efforts. Fear always got me down... when fear was replaced by faith, I got well ".One of my old sponsors used to say-"fear and faith are mutually exclusive- they just can't exist at the same time". When I first came into program, I really thought I was fearless- nothing scared me. I was pretty tough and had weathered some very difficult things in my life.It was only when I began to examine myself a bit (by working the steps, etc) that I realized how very scared I really was- scared of the future, scared of the past, scared of other people, and mostly- scared of myself and my 'out of control' behaviors.So what helped me? Like my sponsor said- it was my new found trust and faith in my Higher Power- my faith that He was always there with me, taking care of me; That He had big plans for me- that nothing could happen without His being a Read more:Faith
, Exclusive
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