Owner: Global Apathy URL:http://www.globalapathy.com Join Date: Thu, 18 Oct 2007 15:52:57 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: General unhappiness and unrest. Life sucks, and the world is dying. Come and laugh along. Site statistics:Click here
the nullo story 2007-10-20 23:16:51 I had posted this back in 2003 when the old site was up. It got pretty popular, and spread around in some places.This story
still gets about 80 hits a month.. So I figured instead of people getting 404 errors I’d repost it… Enjoy.
Bill McHenry is a 26-year old white male with a stocky build and a beard. His head is shaved. He responded to my ad to be interviewed for this article wearing only leather pants, leather boots and a leather vest. I could see that both of his nipples were pierced with large-gauge silver rings.
Questioner: I hope you won’t be offended if I ask you to prove to me that you’re a nullo. Just so that our readers will know that this isn’t a fake.
Bill: Sure, no problem. (stands and unbuckles pants and drops them to his ankles, revealing a smooth, shaven crotch with only a thin scar to show where his genitals once were).
Q: Thank you. That’s a remarkable sight.
(laughs and pulls pants back up). Most people think so.
Q: What made yo
I Hate Ellens Ex-Dog, Baseball, and That Bitch at The Miniature Golf Place. 2007-10-19 00:14:12 I’m really sick of seeing Ellen crying on the news about a dog she gave away, that someone else took from the people she gave it to… or something like that.. Who knows.. Lesbians are so fucking complicated, you never know what they’re up to. Either way, I’m sick of hearing about it. Just like I’m sick of baseball being on every channel when I’m trying to watch reruns of family guy. I also don’t care that the yankees manager turned down millions of dollars… Who gives a fuck? Fuck him and his bulbous fleshy clown nose. Offer me millions.. I’ll blow goats for multiple millions. Who needs dignity? I’ll buy a yacht.Also, to the lady who wouldn’t give me the “spooky glow golf balls” because it was 6:38PM instead of 7:00PM when “spooky glow golf” officially started. I commend you for your strict adherance to the rules.. You’ve really taught my 8 year old son (who is dying of cancer and smallpox Read more:Bitch
, Place
Everyone has had this moment. 2007-10-17 23:04:05 So you’re with someone, and suddenly they say “Don’t Move!” while approaching you. Instantly you know something is wrong, and your imagination floods your senses with everything from bugs, to creeping leprosy, to that devil on your shoulder who is supposed to appear at the same time the angel does, to who knows what. So you freak out a bit, and suddenly things go into hostage negotiation mode as this other person tries to “talk you down” before they can swat the whatever away. That’s always a freaky experience, and it happens to everyone. It’s like a tiny little baby crisis where no one gets hurt. I had one of those today… And nobody got hurt. But a good time was had by all.I caught a Pickerel on my second cast today. That was the only fish, but it was still nice. It ranked in somewhere between “Large” and “Big Ass” Probably a “Hot Damn!”. I also saw a turtle crossing the path way up ahead of
Fishy Fishy 2007-10-17 14:32:23 I’m about to go fishing in a local canal. Should be fun.I finally got the RSS feed problems worked out… It had to do with line breaks before the PHP initialization in the index file. Fascinating, right? Probably not… But it was totally pissing me off. So I’m glad to have taken care of it.I watched that Maynard from Tool video last night where he flips a fan over and then chokes him out.. I thought it was pretty crazy the first time I saw it, since he didn’t miss a word of the song, but the video I saw a year or so ago was only 1 or 2 minutes long. Here’s the extended version that I watched last night. He basically dry humps the dudes back for another 10 minutes after the original choke out… Reminiscent of prison rape, it’s awkward to say the least. But the weirdest part of it is the reaction of the choked. Towards the 7-8 minute mark he’s still pretending to nod his head and be into the music… But he’s gotta be fee Read more:Fishy
Another FULL Day. 2007-10-16 14:49:25 I’ll be taking out the garbage, doing laundry, and cooking dinner today. I’m living a full life. Does anyone even read this? And if so, Why? The world is falling apart, and our days of comfortable living are numbered… Stop wasting your time. I’ll handle the time wasting for everyone.Time to peel the potatoes.
Another Day. 2007-10-11 15:24:24 There was a black family on Family Feud today named Boutte (Pronounced Boo-Tay). That made me laugh. They didn’t win.I do alot of daytime TV lately.. Well, Afternoon TV that is. It’s really uninteresting for the most part. But I saw that the security guard from Jerry Springer has his own show. The Steve Wilkos show is basically the same shitty inbred guests as Jerry Springer, but instead of passive aggressive Jerry asking stupid questions and muttering digs at them, Steve yells, berates, and threatens them… Peak Oil, Nuclear War, Pandemic, and now Steve Wilkos. Yet another sign of impending apocalypse.I’m totally ready for 2012. Seriously.Oh, And I was just realizing that the shitty rednecks at a local card game I go to once in awhile are still saying “Git-R-Done”. Now, I totally hated that shit the second I heard it. And Larry the “Cable Guy” can blow me. But then I saw this and this video, and it made me hate it times 10. He’s
I’m Thinking Of A Number… 2007-10-10 14:04:39 I hate those fucking commercials.
282 Yep&hellip
; 282. This has nothing to do with being diabetic, or credit scores. It’s all about how much I’m going to get per week through unemployment while sitting on my ass. Awesome!
Read more:Number
Numbers 2007-10-09 15:35:10 My Fasting test came in at 193 this morning (Should be around 100-120) . I ate breakfast and took my first pill, and 2 hours later my reading was a few points over 300… So I’m guessing it’s safe to say these pills aren’t working like they should. Wack.
I’ll update later with some content..Possibly.
Read more:Numbers
Diabetes SuperStar! 2007-10-08 21:37:41 I planned on updating this more often, But I found out on Saturday I am Diabetic… It feels great. I now take pills twice a day, and have to go back to the doctor in 2 weeks so they can recheck me.. If you can call it that. I spent 3 hours in waiting rooms on Saturday, and talked to a doctor less than 5 minutes total.. And in the end, when he was “explaining” the disease to me, a nurse came in and told the doctor that another doctor was on the phone for him.. He totally stopped what he was saying, and told me to ask the nurses any questions I may have on the way out.. When I stopped him and asked him to finish what he was saying, he said he couldn’t, and insisted I talk to the nurses when I pay my bill. Which I pay out of pocket… No insurance. So I really got my moneys worth. Thanks Douche.
So anyway, I take these pills now, And I think I’m going through Glucose withdrawal on them, because they make me tired and even more ineffective than ever. I al Read more:Diabetes
Thirty And a Day 2007-10-04 18:44:18 Well, 2 days actually… But I’m still awake from yesterday, So I’m counting it as one. Turning 30 was about as uninteresting as the 29 years that proceeded it. I got drunk and watched the movie Vacancy on demand.. Well, Half of it. Then I lost interest.
I’ve been up for 27 hours now, and am feeling completely retarded. But I’m hoping I can get back on a normal sleep schedule tonight. I will however totally miss the late night infomercials… And I swear to christ if I were rich I’d buy all that useless crap. I really want a Magic Bullet. And I love how they invite all these silly stereotype douchebags over for a bullet party.. A few random normal people, and the stars of the ensemble cast, The old hungover drunk (Berman?), and ex MTV DJ Kennedy as Hazel equipped with super long cigarette ash.. I’m sold.
I also enjoy the faith healing due to the “Free Miracle Spring Water”. Basically it’s a small tube of spring water that Read more:Thirty
Crank Dat - Soldier Boy Tell Em 2007-10-27 00:36:19 Just when I think shitty southern rap can’t possibly get any worse, a new breed of inbreed proves me wrong. I just watched this douchebag “Crank
Dat” and let me tell you, I’d like to Crank Dat bullet into my brain… It’s hardly even rap.. Not to sound like every old person you’ve ever met complaining about young whippersnapper music, but it really is just people yelling. There’s no rhyme structure or anything, just timed outbursts in unison. I fucking hate 95% of music.
This is why America is no longer the leader of the free world. And I’m not saying “things like this are a contributing factor to Americas decline.” I’m saying I blame Soldier Boy Tell Em’ for every single one of our problems. Read these lyrics and just try to disagree… You can’t. And if you can, then you’re a god damn terrorist.
“I Got Me Some Bathin Apes”, “They Be Lookin At My Neck”, and an o
Wolves fear me 2007-10-26 08:32:56 Well, one specific wolf anyway. She was being boarded at a kennel that my girlfriend works at. I had no idea you could have a wolf as a domesticated pet, but it seems you can. Because this friggin thing was totally afraid of me, and super submissive. I felt bad freaking it out, so I left it alone for the most part… But it was still cool seeing a full grown wolf within touching distance.
I also listened to Master of Puppets and ate the early bird special this morning.. So, it’s been a pretty hot day so far.
Read more:Wolves
Jimmie Kimmel and my miserable failure. 2007-10-26 00:03:02 Jack LaLane is on JimmieKimmel
right now, and that crazy old coot is hyper… But he’s getting this wierd foam in the corners of his mouth. By the end of the interview, I’m imagining Jimmies set to look like a washing machine overflowed. He’s a frothy old fucker.
So as you may or may not know, I’m a huge loser. Seriously, I’ve never achieved anything in my entire life. And it’s really past the point of annoying… You’d think it would come as no surprise when my newest internet marketing venture fails, but yet i’m still bummed about it. I’m going to keep plugging away at it.. But it doesn’t look good.
Also my diabetes blood sugar numbers are always through the roof. Fuck it. 2012.
Read more:failure
Dear Fucking Christ. 2007-10-25 09:58:45 Here’s a challenge… Go to youtube, do a search for the word cyst… look at every video you can there.. The horse one, the “at home” one, the sebaceous knee, all the surgical ones, the fucking syringe one, etc.. Let it lead you to the zit ones, and eventually to the most disturbing ones ever titled pusI-pusIV or whatever. You’ll see.. Watch them with the sound on. watch them all.. Then be as disturbed as I am right now. What the fuck?! Don’t even get me started on the spider bite kid.
I’m deliberately leaving links to specific videos out, because half the fun of this game is the journey.
I’m amazed how many people decided to publish their “draining” videos. These cyst/boil/zit having people have some loyal friends.. I would never take someone else’s lumpectomy into my own hands. (hahaha a pun, on cyst day.)
Read more:Christ
The trampled cheerleader video, Google AdSense limiting my creativity, and celebrity vagina trendsetters. 2007-10-31 05:04:44 The cheerleader getting run over video
made me laugh before I went to bed yesterday.
Other than that, I’m totally stocked up on candy for the neighborhood kids tonight. And I’m also ready to watch 6 Halloweens in a row.. Ummm no, not really. But I wish I could do that. I don’t have the fortitude for that many consecutive hours of any film franchise.
I applied for Google
Adsense for this mess of a site. I doubt I’ll get approved for it, but it seems like everyone’s doing it.. And they’re all getting super crazy rich, like Wayne Newton or some shit. It’s about time I Newtonized my wallet through googles wonderful money tree… So this is my open letter to Google… Please forgive me for my language. I am but a wayward youth trying to get by in this crazy world. I’m really trying to be a good person here, and I’d like to be considered by your decency board of review, as rehabilitated. I’m sorry about the link to 2girls1cup a
The Linking Post. 2007-10-30 06:08:54 I don’t understand page rank, or technorati… But I was told if I reviewed Entertainment blog EzineBlog.org They’d link back and improve my pagerank, and many other things such as penis size and income tax refund… Hah! Like I’m getting a tax refund.
So Anyway I looked at their site.. And it seems super fucking great. I guess.. I dunno, I really didn’t get that far because I enjoy links to porno, guns, and nut scratching.. But I read up on michael vick and what a shitty scumbag he is.. so it’s an informative site… Have I whored this enough? Can I have my stamina and girth increasing link now?
Great.. Thanks.
Read more:Linking
Horror Movies and Soulja Boy still sucks. 2007-10-30 01:21:39 From the looks of my Google search referrals alot of idiots search for Soulja Boy. Of course I spelled it Soldier Boy, because I’m not a netspeak douche… But now those same retards looking for their soulja boy info should get led to this post. Instead of THIS one. And to them I say, “Please Fuck Yourself With A Knife.”
Since it’s close to Halloween, They’re playing tons of horror movies on TV today. I watched Freddy vs. Jason for the first time, and it was REAL shitty. They shouldn’t have bothered… Although now I can say I think I’ve seen every Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street movie ever made. But I might have missed Jason goes to Hell.. I don’t know. It’s tough to say, because they’re all the fucking same, and I don’t remember anything about that one.. As much as I loved watching these teenagers get killed when I was younger, now I find them to be living too long for my liking. I need their te Read more:sucks
Halloween Parade 2007-10-29 03:40:20 I went to a tiny towns halloween parade with my kid today, and it was fun for awhile, But the shit lasted 2 hours.. 2 fucking hours. It was cold as hell, so we spent the last 45 minutes in the car waiting for it to end.(The parade goes over the only bridge to get across a stream that we had to cross to get home. Pretty great layout… drive 20+ miles out of the way to get home, or wait until the parade ends. Great thinking.) My son got a shitload of candy, mostly tootsie rolls, because noone throws good candy at these. It’s tootsie rolls, the fruit version footsie rolls (which are named after the feet that flavor them.) smarties, and dum dums. All the shit candy only kids will eat. I guess that’s good though, because I’m totally jealous of the Twix and Peanut Chews everyone who isn’t diabetic get to pig out on. Speaking of which, I ate ice cream and felt like I was going to die the other day. It was really sick… I don’t think my body is read Read more:Halloween
, Parade
Shocktoberfest is dope, Jason’s Woods is not. 2007-10-29 03:31:52 Ok, First of all… Jason
’s Woods
is gay. Fuck it. Don’t go there. It’s $25 a ticket, and your shoes will get ruined. At least after it rains anyway. Their combo pass includes 2 “free” attractions. One being a museum… Which was a pole building with a bunch of old horror movie stuff, like freddys glove and jasons mask and stuff. Then they herd everyone into a maze. A maze with an open roof. A maze with an open roof that has been rained on for 2 days straight with a dirt (MUD) floor that has basically turned into 2 inch deep muck filled slippery train wreck. So you’re in this mess, and the line moves 2 feet every 20-30 seconds, and it’s pitch black. It totally sucks, and makes you hate Jasons Woods. Not because it’s muddy, But because the people working the door of the mud maze don’t tell you before you go in it.. It’s a shitty free attraction that ruins your clothing. Everyone standing in the line that they fu
Google Loves Me, I Love the PedEgg 2007-11-05 15:44:55 So google totally must’ve skimmed over this page, because I was approved for google adwords… So Now it’s time to get rich son.
I saw a wierd commercial the other day for something called the Ped Egg and It really made me wish my feet had some sort of dragon scales on them so I could buy one. You see the Ped Egg is a tiny, ergonomic cheese grater that is designed to shave the dead flesh from your feet. It shaves your skin away, and then turns it into powder which can be poured into a garbage can, or packaged and sold with cocaine. I’m nominating it for product of the week. Here’s a flash ad from the site.
This video works with firefox. If it doesn’t work for you, click here
I say go buy this if you have some crazy, scaled, turkey claw feet.. It looks fun.
Read more:Google
Stumble Upon link post. 2007-11-02 19:53:03 I just signed up for stumble upon, and decided to post the first 10 sites it has lead me to. So here they are.
Mouse Party - A fun flash animation that shows you how drugs affect your brain.
Webtender Drinking Games - Bartending mega site’s list of drinking games.
Pranks.com - Newest Toy Recall from china - Mildly amusing
Icon War - Stupid flash animation.. Sucks
Hummer Limousine Test Answers? - Meh
Steal This Book by Abbie Hoffman - Awesome, I totally approve of this.
Prickmag.net - Tattoo and Piercing Magazine
Politics Explaned - not great
Anxiety Culture - Artsy type adbusters-ish content
Urban Grower - It’s a page on growing things.
So Not too Bad for the first 10.. I’d say only 2 or 3 totally sucked.. You can see some I’m undecided on. Either way, stumble upon seems fun.
Why whores are my heroes 2007-11-08 18:13:56 I found this pdf and it totally makes me laugh.
My favorites are number 34 and 38.
Hooray for whores!
Read more:heroes
Divorce Letter 2007-11-08 17:52:53 I guess this is old… But I had never read it before, and it made me laugh… So I figured I’d repost it.
Dear Connie,
I know the counsellor said we shouldn’t contact each other during our “cooling off” period, but I couldn’t wait anymore.
The day you left, I swore I’d never talk to you again but that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride’s cost me a lot of things. I’m tired of pretending I don’t miss you. I don’t care about looking bad anymore. I don’t care who makes the first move as long as one of us does. Maybe it’s time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt.
This is what my heart says: “There’s no one like you, Connie. I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but Read more:Letter
Stop hugging, Slut. 2007-11-08 17:42:50 My blog postings have been automated here. So now you’ll never even need to bother reading this page again.
I saw this story on CNN last night. It’s funny that they called it the girls second offense, because she hugged 2 people. Now I’m annoyed by hug whores as much as the next guy… You know the type.. That girl who hugs everyone. You see her running across a room, arms outstretched, practically leaping onto someone to deliver her saccharinely sweet hug hello, or hug goodbye, or hug whatever. She’s constantly touching random people, because “they’re her best friends”. Notebooks covered in heart doodles and glitter. Well, I hate those needy idiots. So enjoy your in school suspension. Future raver slut. Here’s another weird story about a hug suspension.. Do you think some people are nit picking douchebags? I do. (In both of these stories.. Even the one with the slut.)
I’ll be going to apply for another super important job tomorr
Not a Part of The Postal Service 2007-11-07 18:46:00 Not that shitty emo band, But the actual post office. I went there today to fill out an application, because the ad in the newspaper said SEASONAL TEMPORARY HELP WANTED. It’s bound to be a shitty job, but I need money. And the pay is decent for a part time job.
Well, there was a big problem, because my pen was blue. Apparently only black pens are acceptable at the post office. I’m not sure why, but the application said Blue ink and pencil not allowed.
The shrew behind the counter wouldn’t give me a black pen because “everyone keeps stealing their black pens”… Which I can understand, because the black ones are so freaking rare and important, that everybody wants one. I’d probably turn to a life of crime too if I got a shot at one of those amazing dark Bics. She must’ve known that, because she totally ignored my story about the blue pen situation I was in, and the 45 minute drive to the postal hub. I didn’t press the situation, due to the whole shooting sp Read more:Postal
, Service
The State is not here 2007-11-06 14:31:08 I noticed someone searching for Booger Booger and Farty Butt in statpress. That can only mean a state fan is searching for the old State
episodes. And I can’t blame them… Because The State is awesome. However, It was such a bandwidth draining endeavor I had to stop hosting the videos.
I still have all of them in shitty wmv format, and I have them all on 4 VHS tapes. Which is pretty cool for me. If for some reason you want copies of them, it can be arranged. But I would want some form of compensation, because I can’t think of anything more boring than dubbing 8 hours of VHS tapes.
What I really should do is transfer them to DVD. But that’s not gonna happen, because I’m a lazy fuckface. Also MTV is supposedly releasing a DVD sometime.
Google Loves Me, I Love the PedEgg 2007-11-05 15:44:55 So google totally must’ve skimmed over this page, because I was approved for google adwords… So Now it’s time to get rich son.
I saw a wierd commercial the other day for something called the Ped Egg and It really made me wish my feet had some sort of dragon scales on them so I could buy one. You see the Ped Egg is a tiny, ergonomic cheese grater that is designed to shave the dead flesh from your feet. It shaves your skin away, and then turns it into powder which can be poured into a garbage can, or packaged and sold with cocaine. I’m nominating it for product of the week. Here’s a flash ad from the site.
This video works with firefox. If it doesn’t work for you, click here
I say go buy this if you have some crazy, scaled, turkey claw feet.. It looks fun.
Read more:Google
Stumble Upon link post. 2007-11-02 19:53:03 I just signed up for stumble upon, and decided to post the first 10 sites it has lead me to. So here they are.
Mouse Party - A fun flash animation that shows you how drugs affect your brain.
Webtender Drinking Games - Bartending mega site’s list of drinking games.
Pranks.com - Newest Toy Recall from china - Mildly amusing
Icon War - Stupid flash animation.. Sucks
Hummer Limousine Test Answers? - Meh
Steal This Book by Abbie Hoffman - Awesome, I totally approve of this.
Prickmag.net - Tattoo and Piercing Magazine
Politics Explaned - not great
Anxiety Culture - Artsy type adbusters-ish content
Urban Grower - It’s a page on growing things.
So Not too Bad for the first 10.. I’d say only 2 or 3 totally sucked.. You can see some I’m undecided on. Either way, stumble upon seems fun.
The trampled cheerleader video, Google AdSense limiting my creativity, and celebrity vagina trendsetters. 2007-10-31 05:04:44 The cheerleader getting run over video
made me laugh before I went to bed yesterday.
Other than that, I’m totally stocked up on candy for the neighborhood kids tonight. And I’m also ready to watch 6 Halloweens in a row.. Ummm no, not really. But I wish I could do that. I don’t have the fortitude for that many consecutive hours of any film franchise.
I applied for Google
Adsense for this mess of a site. I doubt I’ll get approved for it, but it seems like everyone’s doing it.. And they’re all getting super crazy rich, like Wayne Newton or some shit. It’s about time I Newtonized my wallet through googles wonderful money tree… So this is my open letter to Google… Please forgive me for my language. I am but a wayward youth trying to get by in this crazy world. I’m really trying to be a good person here, and I’d like to be considered by your decency board of review, as rehabilitated. I’m sorry about the link to 2girls1cup a
The Linking Post. 2007-10-30 06:08:54 I don’t understand page rank, or technorati… But I was told if I reviewed Entertainment blog EzineBlog.org They’d link back and improve my pagerank, and many other things such as penis size and income tax refund… Hah! Like I’m getting a tax refund.
So Anyway I looked at their site.. And it seems super fucking great. I guess.. I dunno, I really didn’t get that far because I enjoy links to porno, guns, and nut scratching.. But I read up on michael vick and what a shitty scumbag he is.. so it’s an informative site… Have I whored this enough? Can I have my stamina and girth increasing link now?
Great.. Thanks.
Read more:Linking
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