Owner: Six Pack Sports Report URL:http://sixpacksportsreport.blogspot.com Join Date: Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:48:17 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: Sports news, rumors, opinion, humor, with a dash of current events, and other brainless rambling. Site statistics:Click here
Travel Day 2007-12-20 08:27:00 Alright I've got to head into the city this afternoon so I won't be writing much. Instead of just leaving you with nothing I thought I'd post this video that I saw on Barstool Sports which makes me laugh on so many levels that I think you'll all enjoy it. Read more:Travel
Yikes 2007-12-19 08:35:00 Last night I'm watching some ridiculous show on E! I think it was one of the six hundred The Soup awards shows that they've been running non stop when I was interrupted by a flashing "BREAKING NEWS" logo. Naturally I wasn't very interested in what this breaking news on E! could possibly be unless someone told me that Tom Cruise was right and the aliens living under the Earths crust had risen up and begun destroying all of Hollywood. It turned out that E! thought they should break into their regularly scheduled program to inform me that 16 year old Jamie Lynn Spears was pregnant and keeping the baby with her 19 year old boyfriend. My only thought on this has to be that if I could go back in time like Marty McFly to a high school dance somewhere I'd drop an anvil on Lynne Spears head to keep her from unleashing this pox upon humanity.Look I know that someday I'm going to have daughters - it's simply God's way of getting me back for the things that I did as a teenage and I've come
Stand Up, Throw Down: Murphy/Lawrence 2008-03-12 07:09:00 I have a feeling this will be a good battle because as our first (3) vs (6) match up and coming from the Redd Foxx Division for some reason I fee like Martin and Eddie appeal to the same people. I don't mean black people, although that's a given - I mean their style is so similar that I think they might split the vote. This is a highly anticipated match up and it's up to you the fateful members of the Nation to decide who shall advance.Eddie Murphy
: Homemade BurgersMartin Lawrence
: JailOpinion Polls & Market Research Read more:Stand
, Throw
Hey Governor Spitzer 2008-03-11 11:04:00 So your wife won't let you near the computer without standing over you shoulder huh? Well if you're looking for a place that isn't talking about seven diamond quality whores then maybe you want to learn how to play blackjack. Sitting at home, sleeping on the pull out sofa might not be as fun as putting your tongue in the naughty parts of some twenty something working girl but at least learning how to play blackjack will keep you out of the news for awhile.Look everyone makes mistakes, and while the parental control on your computer won't let you visit that one site that you really want to check out - at least by learning how to play blackjack from our friends at Party Poker you might be able to make back some of that money that you spent transporting ladies of the night from New York to Wa Read more:Governor
, Spitzer
Stand Up, Throw Down: Round 1 2008-03-11 08:20:00 It's our final (1) vs (8) match up and this one comes from the Legend's Division. It's not easy to find an actual video of Rickles doing stand up but there is a lot of video of him out there and I think you'll enjoy the ridiculous amounts or racism that he sprinkles throughout everything. On the other hand we've already shown Bill Hicks around here because we love him and it's my site so blow me. Don Rickles: I Love My WifeDon Rickles Loves His WifeUploaded by HBOclipsBill Hicks: Non SmokersOpinion Polls & Market Research Read more:Stand
, Throw
Stand Up, Throw Down: Round 1 2008-03-10 16:13:00 It's our third (1) vs (8) match up in the Stand
Up, Throw
Down March Madness Tournament and this one should be a great fight. It's Steven Wright one of the most original comedians I've ever seen, against David Cross who is one of the funniest men on the planet. I'll admit that if a (1) seed is going down it'll be right here.Steven Wright: Baby MonitorsDavid Cross: Gay's Ordering PizzaOpinion Polls & Market Research
Stand Up, Throw Down: Round 1 2008-03-09 12:48:00 It's our second (1) vs (8) battle in Round 1 and this one comes from the Opie and Anthony Division. Denis Leary is a legend in the Boston Comedy Scene, and one of the few comedians to branch out into successful serious roles in TV and movies. Bob Kelly is best friends with Dane Cook so ultimately he probably makes more then Leary for doing almost nothing. Voting will continue in this match up until Tuesday.Denis Leary: Doctor Denis LearyBob Kelly: How To Scare SomeoneOpinion Polls & Market Research Read more:Stand
, Throw
Stand Up, Throw Down: Round 1 2008-03-08 08:03:00 Stand Up, Throw
Down March Madness Tournament 2k8 kicks off with a bang as number one seed Richard Pryor goes up against Tracy Morgan. This poll will be open until Monday morning so all votes will be final at that point. I will put up a new poll tomorrow so there will be a fresh round of voting everyday for those of you who want more comedy, but today it's Pryor/Morgan so check out each of their video and then cast your vote for who should move on.Richard Pryor: Thank God We've Got PrisonsTracy Morgan: SuperheroesTracy Morgan - Superheroes (stand up)Add to My Profile | More VideosOpinion Polls & Market Research Read more:Stand
Stand Up, Throw Down: Grab Bag Division 2008-03-07 19:43:00 Alright we're down to the final 8, and this group has nothing in common but they all earned their spot in the dance. Obviously some of these choices might not sit well with people - and to head off this argument at the pass let me just get this out of the way first. Yes I understand that there are no women in this tournament, maybe next year ladies. I appreciate that there are some funny women out there, I think Maria Bamford is talented and funny, Bonnie McFarlane is fucking hilarious but this is my tournament so in the immortal words of Cedric Maxwell get back in the kitchen and make me some bacon and eggs.(1) Steven Wright vs. (8) David Cross- David Cross is really underestimated as a stand up because he is so well known for all of the other stuff that he does. I mean Mr. Show speaks fo Read more:Stand
, Throw
, Division
Stand Up, Throw Down: The Legends Division 2008-03-07 12:58:00 This might be the most controversial of all the divisions becasue it implies that the men listed here are Legends
of the business. Now could there have been others chosen? Of course. Might there be an argument that a few of these guys aren't even qualified to be Legends? I wouldn't doubt it. But again, this is my contest and I thought this was an interesting field so here comes the Legends Division
.(1) Don Rickles vs. (8) Bill Hicks- Rickles is the man. Last night he was on Letterman and he absolutely destroyed the room, talking about Sinatra and how if he wasn't dead he'd be making jokes about Jerry Lewis instead had Letterman wondering if they should quickly go to commercial. I've also always loved Bill Hicks, but it'd be very difficult to overthrow Rickles in this battle.(4) Jerry Seinf Read more:Stand
, Throw
Stand Up, Throw Down: Opie and Anthony Division 2008-03-07 10:18:00 This is a misleading Division
if only because not all of these comedians are known as regulars on the O&A Show. However, most of their comedy gels with the type of humor that you'd expect from Opie and Anthony
and as such we're going with this name for the bracket. In my mind this is one of the most clear cut brackets as I know immediately who I want to see emerge from this one but we will leave it up to you, the home audience to determine the outcome.(1) Denis Leary vs. (8) Bob Kelly- I would put Denis Leary up against anyone when he's on a stage. I realize that most people don't even recognize Leary as a stand up comedian anymore because of "Rescue Me" and the movies, and everything else that he does but I still love his stand up comedy and it's my contest so go screw. Bob Kelly mean Read more:Stand
, Throw
Stand Up, Throw Down: Redd Foxx Division 2008-03-07 07:11:00 The Premise: It's simple really, I've chosen 32 of my favorite comedians (for the most part) thrown them into four divisions and set up the ultimate Stand
Up Comedian March Madness Tournament. Throughout the day we will reveal the the opening round matches up starting with the Redd Foxx Division
.There will be some controversy with this division as eight of the top African American comedians battle it out for a shot at winning the Stand Up, Throw
Down Tournament. Without further ado the first round match ups:(1) Richard Pryor vs. (8) Tracy Morgan- This is a really difficult draw for Richard because Tracy Morgan is completely batshit insane. Richard was on the verge of being a part of a different bracket which you'll see later on but wound up as the #1 overall seed in the Redd Foxx Division
Stand Up, Throw Down: The Premise 2008-03-06 19:09:00 Alright this has been an idea that I've been toying with for some time and I'm going to go ahead and get it going. It's March, the season of tournaments and because of that we're going to go ahead and do a bracket of our own. Most hack sites do a hottest chick tournament during March so we're not going that route - because frankly as much as I love hot chicks, there are better sites at covering smut. But I do consider myself a huge fan of stand up comedy and while in an ideal world this tournament would have had about twice as many people involved for the first annual Stand
Up, Throw
Down Tournament we're going with 32 of the most well known, and funniest comedians in history.I'm going to reveal the four brackets tomorrow throughout the day and then announce our first match up which you wi
A Better Picture 2008-03-06 13:46:00 Lets not pretend that you stumbled onto this website because you love sports and you got my link through one of the bigger fish out there who happily send table scraps my way. We both know that you were looking for pornography starring little boys with six packs and you wound up here. So before you answer that knock at the door Cardinal have you even though about purchasing dvd players?Think about it - the grainy footage available on the internet is fine, and the short thirty second clips might be enough once in awhile but wouldn't you rather watch crisp, clean, full length feature pornography on your television in the comfort of your own living room? I think it's time for you to buy a couple dvd players.Even if you have a house full of dvd players, are they next generation? Are they high Read more:Picture
I Got Nothing 2008-03-05 12:15:00 So it's been a bit quiet around these parts lately and that is mainly due to the fact that absolutely nothing has happened to get me to think about anything other then my own miserable life. I have a few ideas on the burner that I just need to sit down and write and those are coming including some stuff that I think is really going to be interesting -- of course I'm an ass and don't have a clue what other people enjoy. I just picked up MLB 2K8 for the Xbox 360 and I hope to have a full review up of that once I've actually played more then one game.In the interest of full disclosure I am working on something centered around American Idol which is a guilty pleasure of mine and this season is absolutely horrendous. They keep calling it the best season to date and that might be true if only be Read more:Nothing
Sending Some Props to Amherst 2008-03-02 07:51:00 I understand that my blatant UMass fanboy attitude is going to become tiresome for some of you as we approach the A-10 and NCAA Tournaments but you'll just have to deal with it for another few weeks before it's all over. I don't want the basketball team to overshadow the rest of the student athletes at the school I still owe a bunch of money to so after a monstrous day yesterday for the Mass Attack I thought it was only proper that I give them their proper respectMinutewomen Softball Stuns #2 Texas TechAlright I will admit to knowing nothing about the UMass Softball team. I used to know a couple girls who played but that was a long time ago so I have no connection to this year's team who currently stand at 5-8. However, yesterday they pulled off what in a men's sport would be the lead stor Read more:Sending
Weekend Standup: Louis Black 2008-03-01 08:25:00 I've seen LouisBlack
live and he is basically an insane person. He went after someone to the point where he just said "look motherfucker, how about I leave, turn the lights on so that everyone in this place can see what you look like - they'll follow you outside and fuck you in the ass and then I'll come back in ten minutes how does that sound?" I knew immediately that I was a fan for life so here's Louis on Hunting. Read more:Weekend
The Internet Is MIA 2008-02-28 21:34:00 Alright so I have a bunch of stuff that I'd love to be writing about but as of right now the internet on the SPSR Homefront is missing in action. For some reason my wireless network driver just disappeared from my laptop and because it's my only computer for school/work I can't afford to send it away to the magical notebook PC repair kingdom for six weeks so I'm operating on a limited basis right now.I will try to be back tomorrow with something actually relevant and until then you can suck a dick if you've got a problem with the site not being updated. Thanks for listening. Read more:Internet
Kimmel Strikes Back 2008-02-26 07:36:00 By now almost everyone has seen this video but if you haven't I hope you enjoy the "Feed The World" type quality of "I'm Fucking Ben Affleck" by Jimmy Kimmel
. Without a doubt the funniest part of this video is Harrison Ford at the gas station, but Don Cheadle deserves some credit too for his role in this thing. If you want to check out how this whole mess started I suggest checking out the Sarah Silverman video that started it all before watching this follow up. Read more:Strikes
A Minuteman Moment 2008-02-25 06:15:00 Here is something that I really did not anticipate writing this season but with three games left in the NCAA College Basketball season there is a very good chance that my Alma mater the University of Massachusetts Minutemen will be playing in the NCAA Tournament this March. Obviously for the majority of people out there this means nothing, ESPN Bracketology has them getting into the Big Dance as an 11 seed, so I don't think most people will be picking the Minutemen in their office pool -- but for someone who went there, who sat through some of the worst seasons in school history, who had to stomach Steve Lappas, Anthony Anderson, and Micah Brand this is a monumental occasion.Last year UMass had two of the best low post players in the country in Rashaun Freeman and Stephane Lasme. With them Read more:Minuteman
, Moment
Weekend Standup: Mitch Hedberg 2008-02-22 17:26:00 The great Dr. C from Chicago Bull requested Mitch
Hedberg for Weekend
Standup and if you ask you shall receive. Mitch is possibly the funniest man ever and he will be missed. (Note: I know I didn't write a column today but I'll have something later this weekend)
Happy Moments: Repost 2008-02-21 08:33:00 (Note: It makes no sense for me to repost this article here since all of the readers here have already seen it but I'm tired today so deal with it.)Well if the antibodies were on a mission to drive us off the edge with pathetic MBSR Idol articles you've succeeded because it's all puppy dogs and heart shaped candies around here now. Up to this point the only thing that we've admitted to enjoying are horribly gay reality television shows, and AIDS, so this whole "HappyMoments
" experiment seems less likely to succeed then a government that can't find a six foot tall Arab hooked to a dialysis machine shooting down a satellite speeding towards Florida at thousands of miles per hour. You can hear that gem and others like it at your local Chinese food restaurant this weekend told by any number o Read more:Repost
Poor Choice of Words 2008-02-20 09:07:00 I'll admit that I'm not alone in my hatred of Bill Simmons. I feel the same way about Simmons that I feel about Howard Stern - he deserves respect for what he has accomplished, but his peak has long since passed. One of my major problem with Simmons other then the fact that he is personally responsible for the majority of New England sports fan hatred that goes on in the blogosphere is that he recycles columns and jokes while making the most obvious observations in the world. Most people like his dumbed down approach but excuse me if a thirty something talking about Real World/Road Rules Challange doesn't strike me as anything other then a creep.So when I saw that Simmons had made the trip to New Orleans for the NBA All Star Game I knew what we were in for. You had to assume that you'd hea Read more:Choice
, Words
NBA All Star Weekend Thoughts 2008-02-18 08:13:00 The NBA
has the best All Star Weekend
out of any sport right? I mean the baseball All Star game is fun becasue of the home run derby but even that event has begun to get old and tired. The NHL used to have a great All Star weekend but ever since they closed down professional hockey in this country they don't count, and I'm pretty sure we can all agree that the NFL's Pro Bowl is waste of time. Well this weekend the NBA did some things very well, and some things really poorly in pulling off a gun battle free NBA All Star Weekend.- Kudos to Jason Kapono who absolutely demolished the Three Point Contest with 25 in the finals. Kapono shoots like he's in a video game just draining threes but not doing anything else particularly well.- Can we all agree that while Dwight Howard was awesome in the
Spot The Error - ESPN Style 2008-02-14 13:48:00 Race StatsLaps Completed: 31 Laps Left: 29 Lead Changes: 7 Leaders: 6 Fastest Lap: 191.967 mph Fastest Lap: 46.883 sec Avg. Speed: 166.789 mph Cautions: 1 Race Details Track Length: 2.5 miles Purse: $-2,147,483,648 Track Shape: Tri-Oval Pole Speed: 187.075 mph Defending Champion: --------------------Ok so I'm sitting in class watching the ESPN RaceCast of the first Gatorade 150 and this is one of the graphics that they've got up - can anyone spot the error on that page? If this is true I should have driven by Ford Focus in this race because the guy who finishes last is going to win about $15 million. Read more:Style
Valentine's Day 2008-02-14 07:49:00 Valentine's Day blows -- there I said it. If you're single it sucks because it's this special day in the middle of the most unbearable month of the year reminding you that you're a worthless drain on society and nobody will ever love you. If you're in a relationship it's even worse because it's another day where you are reminded how inadequate and unromantic you are because some asshole who lives down the street just bought his wife a puppy dog and a ride on the Virgin Airlines Spaceship, meanwhile you're carrying a heartshaped boxed full of half eaten coconut flavored chocolates and the last card you could find at CVS in to your wife or girlfriend. Does anyone win on Valentine's Day? But in the spirit of the season here is Stephen Lynch's "Love Song" Read more:Valentine
Wanna Get Away? 2008-02-13 16:13:00 Hey guys it's your old friend The Rocket.I'm not sure any of you caught me on the news this morning but apparently my wife did -- and it seems like the locks on my mansion have been changed and the keys to my Hummer were destroyed. I guess she didn't appreciate what I told Congress but I had to be honest and she was the one using human growth hormone in our house. So it looks like I'll be taking a vacation and I've been looking at visiting the famous Netherlands canals and staying at one of the finest Amsterdam hotels since I need to find a place that allows me to store my suitcase full of hypodermic needles. Although I've heard that the anal injection business in Greece is pretty popular so I guess I should check out some Athens hotels and take a trip to the Temple of Olympus - these B12
Stand Up, Throw Down: Schimmel/Pardo 2008-03-14 17:51:00 It's our second match up from the Grab Bag Division and I have a confession to make. I'm a Jimmy Pardo fan. I subscribe to his "Never Not Funny" podcast, and I just find the guy to be incredibly funny. I know it doesn't fit the rape inspired mold that I've formed around here but screw it, the man can tell a joke. Unfortunately, there just aren't a lot of clips of Jimmy on youtube so while he might not stand a chance here, you should all check out his podcast to hear him, just give it a whirl. On the other hand I don't care much for Schimmel, not because he isn't a funny guy - he is. I just think that he's number 66 in my NCAA Tournament bracket, just misses the cut for whatever reason. So here we go with another (3) vs (6) match up and hopefully it'll be as good as the Norton/Lewis one fro Read more:Stand
, Throw
Stand Up, Throw Down: Norton/Black 2008-03-13 15:10:00 First and foremost we've had a really good response for the Stand
Up, Throw
Down 2k8 March Madness Tournament and I'm excited about that. Also I'll have the brackets on the sidebar by the end of the night so you can keep up with all the goings on. Our next (3) vs (6) match comes from the Opie and Anthony bracket and features everyone's favorite mushy nothing Jim Norton
. I love Jimmy on the radio, I think he's brilliant and I don't see how he could lose this round. I will give my first plug for this competition and say that if you like Jim Norton head over to iTunes and you can purchase some "Best Of Jimmy" stuff from the O&A Show, it's all gold. On the other hand I must confess that Lewis Black
is amazing as well and I can't stop saying "my life is rich and full" after hearing him say it o
The Story That Keeps On Giving 2008-03-13 08:01:00 I realize that I'm posting consecutive four diamond quality stories here but this one is just too perfect. Apparently Ashley Alexandria Dupre is not only a quality whore, but she's also a horrendously bad singer. I don't often tell you guys that certain things are gifts from God - but the Ashley Dupre album "Unspoken Words" is obviously a gift from the big man upstairs.First off let's talk about the title for a minute - "Unspoken Words" would have been a great title had she followed through with this and not actually wasted my time making this album. Some things are better left unsaid. What do you think those unspoken words were? Dear little Timmy your mom is a high priced hooker?But without a doubt the highlight of this two track unfinished gem is the song "Move Ya Body" which contains, a Read more:Giving
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