Owner: Nintendo is Right, Nascar is Wrong URL:http://www.sportsthatareright.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Tue, 16 Oct 2007 17:00:29 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: A blog about nothing. A humorous look at everything that is right and wrong with girls, sports, and everything in between. Site statistics:Click here
Where art thou, Neighbor? 2007-10-16 11:49:00 Firstly, we have a new feed on the blog, so you can now SUBSCRIBE! Check out the column on the right and subscribe to an RSS feed or receive Email updates. If anyone wants to help promote the blog, let me know. I have a little banner/button for you. Now that the business is out of the way, it appears my loving neighbor has moved out. The last time I saw him was a few weeks ago, carrying things down the hallway, starting straight ahead, making sure not to make eye contact with me (the devil). I thought it was just me he hated since I was the one who tired to talk to him in the elevator, but Michelle said she saw him in the hallway by herself, smiled, and he pretending like she didn’t exist. Now, I know what you’re thinking. This guy hates all people, he doesn’t believe anyone exists. Wrong, I would say. On the bus, he sometimes sat with the same girl, and they would talk (rather loudly) the whole ride. This guy has the weirdest voice ever, by the way. Since then, h Read more:Neighbor
Dear Dick 2007-10-15 16:48:00 Dear Dick Stockton: Please leave Chicago, and never come back. You are BAD LUCK to Chicago Sports. Anytime I am watching the Bears, Cubs, Bulls, Blackhawks, or Fire on TV, I don’t want to see your face or hear your voice. You bring the worst luck an announcer has ever brought to a Chicago team. Exhibit A: The Cubs. Here we are in September, kicking ass, winning the division, enjoying the games with Len and Bob…and then, all of the sudden, we’re in the post-season, you take over the play-by-play, and the Cubs go to shit. And every single time that lead off asshole on Arizona was up to bat, you brought up the homerun he hit in Game 1. Thanks, for that. I really wanted to remember that moment over three games. Exhibit B: The Bears. The Bears come off a great win in Greenbay, we seem have things under control against the Vikings…then I notice who’s announcing the game. Minnesota comes back, Peterson rips us apart, and Longwell hits a filedgoal with no time on the clo
Spectacles, Testicles 2007-10-11 15:48:00 It’s weird. I’m 26 years old, but I still have a third grader inside of me. I recently had to start wearing glasses. In fact, I forgot them today, and I’m straining my eyes writing this. Glasses are so simple, yet amazing. My eyes slowly got worse over the past few years, but it’s amazing to see the difference on what I can see again that I forgot about. I can read small street signs from way further way, and even the TV is much crisper. I’m sure glad my girlfriend was still hot!In the past, the only glasses I’ve worn were Sunglasses, which I would take off as soon as I stepped indoors (unless I’m with my Aunt Gin, Jack Nicholson, or at the final table of a poker tournament, in which case, ship it.) But it just felt weird to leave them on walking inside a building. The first few times I walked into a store, I took them off out of habit. The first time I wore them to work, I was self conscious. It’s completely ridiculous, but it’s true. I knew nobody wa Read more:Testicles
A Foo Finish 2007-10-09 10:42:00 The Foo Fighters new album, Echoes Silence Patience & Grace, is a must buy. The single that came out before the CD was okay…but you have to hear the complete story. They are just so good at finishing a CD all the way through. In many CDs of bands I love, you get to about tack 8 or 9, and you find yourself changing the disc. The Foo Fighters are so good at finishing an album (kind of like how the Bears were good at finishing the Packers) you can listen to it more than once and continue to be surprised by great track after track. “Oh, I forgot about this one” is a very common phrase. There’s a great mix of their hard rock badass style, and some amazing acoustic guitar songs, and, they even mix those together in a great way. Check it out. Read more:Finish
Lost in translation, indeed 2007-10-07 13:30:00 I gotta say, Japan is something else. Definitely a strange and different country, and I already live in a strange and different country. A couple random stories:After landing in Tokyo and getting to the station where I had to change trains (and rail networks, requiring me to go outside) I saw a really hot girl, wearing a really short skirt, calf-length boots, and one knee pad. Just one. This was in a non-hip neighborhood at like 3 p.m. It was cool.Once I was outside, I decided to smoke a quick cigarette. Smoking in Japan is basically the opposite of the rest of the world. Restaurants don’t have smoking areas, you can smoke anywhere, even in McDonalds and Starbucks. But, you can’t walk and smoke outside, there are designated smoking areas outside that you have to stand by. While smoking my first non-airport cig in Tokyo, I stood next to a large ashtray that had a “Smoker Team” logo on it. Just then, a minivan pulled up with the same logo, and two guys wearing matching
Wrigley is Dark 2007-10-07 12:21:00 The first pitch of the game was a homerun, but not for us.The Cubs made it so far, and were red hot in September. To watch a team crumble like that, especially in our house, was awful. It's really depressing actually. Yeah, last year they finished in last place in their division, and this year in first, but hopes were so high in Chicago. Walking around Wrigley
ville 5 hours before the game started, people were excited. This town was on fire. High fives in the street- everyone smiling. By game time we were so fired up, the game was already won in our minds. But, the baseball gods had other plans last night. They wanted the other team to celebrate on our field. Next year, it will officially be 100 years since they've won a World Series. That could make a good story...
Part Set 2007-10-04 23:10:00 Part III - Korean BaseballTeams that are RIGHT:Kia (Gwangju) Tigers - Really, the team I randomly decided to like, mainly because they have the hottest cheerleaders.Doosan (Seoul) Bears - Gotta go for a hometown team.LG (Seoul) Twins - But, I have no loyalty here, so may as well go for both hometown teams. Tehy play in the same stadium. If one of them played on the north side of the river where I live, I would certainly cheer for that team wholeheartedly and hate the other one. The knock on this team - they're called the Twins, and I really don't care for LG products.Teams that are OKAY:Hyundai (Suwon) Unicorns - I mean, they are called the Unicorns. That's just hilarious. Hanhwa (Daejon) Eagles - I really don't care about this team at all.Teams that are WRONG:Lottte (Busan) Giants - I'm just jeolous that Busan, Korea's second city with 1/3 the population of Seoul, seems to draw more fans than the Seoul clubs. Samsung (Daegu) Lions - The Evil Empire of Korean baseball, they
Part Deux 2007-10-04 16:08:00 Part 2. Pro Baseball. Teams that are RIGHT:Chicago Cubs (Obviously.)Kansas City Royals (I think they give you ten bucks and a free hat if you go to a game. It was also the first stadium I ever went to. And they beat the red birds in ‘85 for the series, straight up.)Teams that are OKAY:NY Mets (The correct team to cheer for in NY, as long as they are not playing the Cubs)Baltimore Orioles ( I have to admit, I like the stadium and the tradition. Plus, the team is not a threat to any of the above.) Teams that are WRONG:St. Louis Cardinals (Pure Evil.)Boston Red Sox (after spending time in Boston and seeing 96% of people on the T wearing “B” hats and talking like dickheads… and really, I just hate New England fans. I think my friends Jay (due to his terrible Boston accent) and Alyson (due to her love of sports) are the only exceptions.) NY Yankees (If you hate the Red Sox, you have to love the Yankees right? Nope. I’m sick of them. And Fuck Johnny Damon and his Yanks
Baseball Playoffs 2007-10-04 11:06:00 Ah, baseball playoff time again. Or, as I know it, the sports gods’ annual middle finger at me. I must have been a 1920s Yankee fan, or maybe I was in fact Shoeless Joe Jackson in a past life. Clearly, I did something to piss off the baseball gods, which is probably why I’m shackled for life to the Royals and Cubs. Not surprisingly, the ball always rolls back down the hill before I get to the top. A brief and recent history for the recent baseball playoffs: Last year, against all odds, St. Louis won. Prior to that came the White Sox, the Red Sox, the Marlins, the Diamondbacks, and the Yankees (11 times or whatever). Every possible way to piss me off, the baseball god have found it. Unquestionably, my favorite World Series winner in the last 15 years has been the Angels in 2002, who I am completely indifferent to. Really, I’ve learned that the best baseball result I can hope for is mild bemusement. This year, I am obviously cheering for the Cubs, and everything else is Read more:Playoffs
For Titles Sake 2007-10-01 12:01:00 It’s time I gave it to you straight. These lists are in no particular order. Okay. Part 1. COLLEGE.These schools are the correct ones to cheer for. The University of KansasEmporia State University (though I expect them to win, but always fun to watch, and yeah, I know, Leon Lett went there.)Notre Dame (only in football…well, that and badminton.)Dartmouth (come on, give them a chance to win the Ivy League like they deserve)These schools are Evil, and wrong to cheer for:SyracuseUSCNorth Carolina (obviously)Duke (who doesn’t hate them?)Any team from Florida, especially the Gators. KU Still has the last laugh on the Gators, by the way, beating them when they were number 1. Missouri Kansas State Penn State (mostly because it’s in a town called University Park…idiots)Yale (I partied in Cambridge, I didn't want to get out of the car in New Haven)Washburn (that’s right, they made the list, the bastards)Princeton (ever met anyone from there? I bet they were smarmy) Ohio Stat Read more:Titles
One Year 2007-09-28 13:39:00 So, it’s been a year, as the title indicates. As of only a few hours ago, I’ve been in Korea for one full year. Which means a few things, I guess. Lots has changed. Lots hasn’t. I spent my first night in Korea in a shady love motel, and thought that I was in some sort of Seoul red light district, due to the fact that my hotel came equipped with an abnormally large number of massage oils, condoms, and two crappy porn channels. I’ve since learned, of course, that this was simply a yogwon, a small family run motel, and that such motels are almost as ubiquitous in Korea as are internet cafes or convenience stores. As for that red-light area, it turns out my motel was actually in one of the highest-rent districts in all of Korea, a 20 minute walk from Apgujong, Seoul’s (and really Korea’s) land of Prada and Gucci stores. Of course, when I first got here, absolutely nothing made sense, ever. Now, I would say, I can generally go at least an hour on most days without bein
Dash! 2007-09-27 22:39:00 In case you haven't seen the trailer yet...
People I can do without 2007-09-20 13:07:00 (with apologies to George Carlin for the title)I saw a guy in Bangkok, a cliche backpacker walking around with clothes that it looked like he made himself. He looked like an asshole. Worst of all, he was carrying a diggery-do. What the fuck? You can’t buy those in Thailand, and he clearly wasn’t Thai, which means he’s actually carrying a fucking diggery-do around with him on his trip. A loud six foot long wooden instrument that cannot possibly have any practical value other than to let people see that he has a diggery-do. It reminded me how much I hate people. So, here’s who I can do without at the moment:-Diggery-do guy-Anybody who is not in fact an Aborigine that owns a diggery-do, or at least anyone that takes it out of their house.-White guys with dreadlocks-Asian guys with dreadlocks-Girls with dreadlocks. Sorry Megan, but this is just a bad look.-Really, anybody with dreadlocks that isn’t an ethnic Rastafarian Jamaican. -Any guy over the age of 11 that wears a
Travelers and Tourists 2007-09-20 13:05:00 I’m going to drop a couple blog entries tonight, just because I’m heading to Tokyo tommorow and thus all the blogs I have in the hopper will feel dated after that. This topic: travel. Big surprise. I’m starting to feel different about the “traveler” verses “tourist” divide. I’ve long fallen on the “traveler” side, because it seems to be the more authentic experience that falls more into my ethos. For the un-indoctrinated to this debate, “traveler” means that you travel with a backpack, wear a bandana at all times, you stay in the cheapest hostel available, and your ideal trip would involve a 243 hour trip on a non-air-conditioned bus in August through every country that ends in ”stan”. “Tourist,” on the other hand, means that you tour with a roller-bag, wear a fanny pack at all times, you stay in 4 star hotels that were pre-aranged by your tour company, and your ideal trip involves either a cruise, a week at Disney World, or a 7-day bus tour throug Read more:Travelers
Das Bus 2007-09-18 15:07:00 *There is a Dickbreath sighting in this blog. So, for the past two years in Chi-town, I've been a train person. I've picked places to live based on how close it is to a convenient train stop, i.e., not the blue line. Now, I live far from a train stop, but close to Lake Shore Drive, so I can take an express bus downtown. In the past month, I've picked up the correct Bus Etiquette, but it appears some people haven't. 1. If there's an open seat, take it. Don't sit next to me. I know I'm having a great hair day, but seriously, take THAT seat that no one's sitting in. I don't care if there's an old newspaper there. Move it and sit down.2. Move the newspaper off of the seat next to you. Once you're in that seat, you inherit everything that comes with it. Paper, gum, piss. Whatever. It's your paper now, and you look like an asshole. Ship it.3. Do you really need to take your5 kids in strollers on the 8:30am bus? Make some fucking pancakes, put on some cartoons, and
first crappy survey of the new blog 2007-09-14 13:54:00 1. Who were you with last night at 4:00 a.m.?watching lost on dvd, drinking cass red.2. What woke you up this morning?a garbage truck. damn dumpsters. 3. Where are you?sitting down and facing front.4. Is tomorrow going to be a good day?depends on the potential use i may have for my a.k.5. Did you kiss or hug anyone last night?a pillow named sheila.6. When was the last time you cried?august 23, 1996. 7. Ever thrown up in public?i prefer on public. one time, i went to a pisser in this after hours bar, and puked all over these dudes that were hanging out in front of the urinal. they even said it served them right for hanging out in front of a urinal. i got some puke on myself, of course, but when i got back to my people, i pointed out the same dudes and said that one of them had puked on me. true story. 8. Where would you like to live?a brothel.9. Ever been skinny dipping?exclusively. it goes unnoticed though, due to my natural pubis speedo.10. What do you want to be when you gro
neighbors 2007-09-14 08:32:00 on the neighbor tip, let's not forget the guy down the block in lawrence that burned his parent's house down in an effort to kill them. i never met the cat, but he had to have been a strange one. right now, my neighbor situation is quite different than it was in lawrence or chicago. it's a building of large studio apartments that they call an officetel, each apartment pretty much the same. the mix in the building seems to be korean families (which i have virtually no contact with ever) and people like me. and by people like me, i mean 20-something foreigners (i.e. non-koreans from english-speaking countries) that live alone and work as english teachers. so really, my living situation now is closer to dorm life than anything, only everybody is old enough to drink, everybody does drink, and nobody has a roommate. so, unlike usual, i'm actually friends or co-workers with many of my neighbors, and of the people in my building that i hate (it's just this one dude) i don't hate
Hate Thy Neighbor 2007-09-13 21:42:00 File this blog under idiots I've encountered.It's Chicago in September. The last month with a few days of perfect weather, so it's great to walk around on those nights. Me and Michelle were leaving our place, and caught the elevator, already opened, with our neighbor inside. Now, we've never officially met this neighbor, but he takes the same bus that I do, and works in the same neighborhood I do. We even get on and off at the same stop, but we've never spoken. I found a perfect opportunity to change that. I follow Michelle into the elevator.ME: Hey man, hows it going? NEIGHBOR: ...(He looks right at me. Awkward silence. He looks away and stares at the ceiling. Beat. The elevator doors slowly close. Much more Awkward Silence on the long trip down four short floors. The doors open up. NEIGHBOR gets off first, exits towards the back door, out through parking garage on foot.) WHAT THE FUCK?Now, Keith came over a few weeks ago, and asked if we knew who our neighbor was Read more:Neighbor
summer - asia style 2007-09-13 08:54:00 i agree with mr. kickass. while this sumer certainly, easily beat out the summer of 2005, when my entire summer of fun was condensed into one overnight roadtrip to indiana beach, this summer certainly lacked in any sort of "north to the lake" adventure. though i didn't have an apocolyptic event like the mr. kickass's aforementioned flood to dampen my summer (quite a pun there, eh?) most of my summer was brought down by the little things. maybe my expectations were too high, coming off the best spring of my life. but, i was ill for much of june, and then i bought a computer, so i was broke in july, and i had to save money in august for my thailand trip. and yeah, i know that any summer that includes the phrase "my thailand trip" cannot catagorically suck. but, sadly, no winnie, no kara, but at least no margaret fahrquhar.
Summer 2007-09-11 16:58:00 It’s not that the summer has gone by too fast, though it has, or that I took it for granted, though I did a little…But this summer lacked adventure. I’ve been watching The Wonder Years lately (2 episodes every night on Ion! Thanks Julia) and Kevin Arnold is always looking for excitement. Instead of going to work, he turns his car around and drives north to the lake.This summer started out promising. I took a trip with the guys to Atlantic City in late May. A great start, but it was pretty much downhill from there. I started a grown-up 9-5 job in mid June. Granted, we lost a lot of our summer when our apartment flooded…But, yesterday, when I felt that first cold wind, I couldn’t help but start to miss the Summer
s I haven’t had for a while. Summers that included drinking beer on my front porch, house parties next door, everyone outside listening to music. Things are different now. Weekends are shorter. Work has eclipsed summer fun. At least football season has sta
The Worst Day in Sports Ever? 2007-09-10 22:25:00 Yesterday. Sunday. September 9th, 2007. What went wrong? Everything.1. To start the day, the Kansas City Chiefs (granted, not a good team, but should be able to RUN over the Texans) almost get shut out after missing a 30 yard field goal to open the game.2. In the middle of the day, the Chicago Cubs get spanked by the Pirates of all teams. Really? The Pirates? Last I checked, they were in last place...well, now they're second last. And we lose our first place status in the tightest division race I've ever seen. At least the Cubs could have won, for Gods sake. Give us some hope.3. The Bears. What the fuck happened to our offense? We used to have one. A pretty good one, one scored touchdown(s). I need some answers on this one. Sure, they were playing the best rushing team in the league, a team that went 14-2 last year, an even better record than the Bears. But, we SHUT LT DOWN. They did it. They did their jobs. He got maybe 12 yards in the first half. That's unheard of. But our offense Read more:Sports
Fauxlorado 2007-10-18 12:16:00 A couple more notes on the baseball playoffs:I’m extremely happy about the current national backlash toward Dane Cook. I, for one, hated him before it was cool. Some work buddy at Sprint showed me a clip of his on the interweb years ago, saying check out how funny this guy is. I was instantly repulsed, and haven’t wavered since. I still hate the Rockies. They aren’t a real team, and don’t come from a real city. Buddies of mine back home, like Daniel and Toast are apparently huge supporters of them. Big shock. It’s getting to be impossible to argue with Daniel about sports, because he hops on the bandwagon of contemptible teams every season, because he will like “the style of play” or “the way they play the game” or some such horseshit. That’s simply not what sports are supposed to be about. In 1987, Daniel and I had a wager on a Browns-Broncos game. He had the Browns, I had the Broncos, in a game that turned out to be Elway’s famed “Drive.” I had n
The Lone Talker 2007-10-18 10:27:00 So, I’m in line for Potbelly’s the other day. Great Sandwiches. Next time you’re in Chicago, check it out. Anyway, in the loop, there’s always a long line, even though there’s a Potbelly on every corner. To speed up the process, they ask you your order way before you get to the counter. (the sandwich does have to go through a toaster, after all) They ask me what I want, I shout my order. That’s how it works.They ask the woman behind me what she wants, she says she’s not ready. Then, she says, to no one in particular “I’m not going to yell my order.” I never know what to do in these kinds of situations. Is she talking to me? Is she talking to the guy behind her? Was that meant for the cashier? I have no idea. She’s just throwing dialogue out there, hoping it will stick to something. I chose to ignore it, and act as rubber to the floating dialogue (monologue, really). If I would have agreed with her, perhaps I would have given an awkward sympathy la
Eighth Grade Man 2007-10-17 13:14:00 It’s occurred to me that a buddy of mine here has been reverting to or has fully reverted to junior high status. I’m actually a bit worried about this. I know the cat is young, a good couple years younger than my brother, and he was not alive during the peak of the Michael Jackson / Thriller era, which I have memories of. Still, this could happen to you too. Lets look at warning signs that your buddy may also be stuck in eighth grade-1) He is “dating” a girl that he has never kissed.2) He ditches his drinking buddies to stay home and talk on the phone to said girl (again, that he has never kissed.)3) When he does go out drinking, he is guaranteed to get a call from said girl and to be on the phone for at least 20 minutes.4) When he is hanging out with friends and not on the phone from said girl, he is texting her every 14 seconds. By the way, I don’t get this new-fangled “texting” thing. I use the text messages, more so here because I have a ghetto pre-paid phone an Read more:Eighth
, Grade
El Baño 2007-10-25 14:42:00 Something just isn’t right with our bathroom. If you ever find yourself on the 15th floor of our building, pee elsewhere. Trust me. The following stories are true.1. The weird guy in the stalls.So, there I am taking a wiz, when all of the sudden I hear this faint, but familiar music. There is some dude in the stalls behind me listening to his iPod so loud that I can hear it clearly. And he’s playing Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing. What better song to listen to when you’re on the pot?2. There’s an old guy, wears a suit everyday, who pee’s on his shoes. We have no idea why. He doesn’t accidentally miss. He literally does this everyday, at the same urinal, whenever he takes his first trip to the John. I don’t know. I call number 2 Insane guy who pees on his shoes.3. I’m in the bathroom washing my hands, and some guy in a stall pulls out his cell phone and makes a call. This guy is doing business on the shitter. The only people allowed to make calls in this situation ar
The DMZ is our home 2007-10-24 12:44:00 Last weekend, I finally made it to Korea's number one "tourist attraction." The world's most fortified border, and easily one of the strangest places on earth. The Seoul USO office and the bus to the DMZ was surreal on it's own. Not only was it pretty much all white people, it was pretty much all Americans. Being on a packed, I don't know, 70 person bus where 80% of the passengers were Americans and English was the only language being spoken was definitely strange for me. Plus, while my people, English teachers, were certainly well represented, the bus was chock full of middle aged people from places like Atlanta that were in town for reasons other than teaching English, and were staying for periods considerably shorter than one year. People who didn't even know what bibimbap is, based on conversations I over heard. Bibimbap, by the way, is an extremely common and tasty rice dish. It's like being in France and not knowing what a baguette is. I dare say, maybe even actual
Not That Kind of Green 2007-10-23 10:16:00 So, I’m walking to work from the bus this morning when it happens again. A bearded man with a green tie-dye bandana approaches me. Now, my mp3 player is broken, but lately I have been wearing the headphones and just faking it, but today I forgot. Bandana: Hey, another fellow environmentalist? Me: No. Bandana: No? Don’t you care about the Earth, man? Me: Get away from me mother(earth)fucker.That’s a mix of what I actually said, and what I wanted to say.The problem with these jerkoffs, well, one of the problems, is that there is no doubt in my mind if I actually gave them money in the morning just so they will leave me the hell alone, another one is going to approach me at lunch. “Care about saving the planet?” Yes, but I’ll do it my own way. I’ll throw away my trash. I’ll recycle. I’ll go to Bonnaroo. But I’m not giving some guy on the street a dime. It’s probably not a scam, but I don’t know where that money goes, and I don’t care. If I give Read more:Green
Stop 2007-10-29 16:32:00 Before I get to the exciting elevator blog (you know you can’t wait), I wanted to talk about a more serious issue – The Bus Stop. Since I’ve been working a day job, I wait at the same bus stop every morning, around the same time, give or take. Naturally, you start to notice the same people. But what’s really weird, is that these are the exact same people who waited with you for the big yellow school bus when you were a kid.The cast of characters is all there. The rich kids, wearing their thousand dollar suits. The girl that really shouldn’t be dressing herself yet. The guy that looks a little bit too old to be in your grade, but he’s still wearing a backpack.I’m not sure where I fit in. I think I’m somewhere in-between the awkward girl with glasses and the computer geek that needs to get a teen movie make-over so he can become the quarterback of his high school football team, and therefore, sleep with all the cheerleaders. Then we would only be missing the class clown,
DMZ/North Korea pics 2007-10-26 11:00:00 The building is on the NorthKorea
n side, a couple KPA (Korean People's Army, or North Korea
n soldiers) and some obviously high ranking dude in a suit. Can't quite tell, but one of the KPA's rifle may be pointed right at me.This guy is South Korean Military Police, and hard to tell by the pic but probably 6'6. I didn't want to move in any closer for the picture. This is the room that straddles the border between north and south. The soldier is standing right on the line, I am north of him, technically in North Korea. The door to North Korea. The world's tallest flag pole. Good thing it was a windy day, apparently the North Korean flag weighs 600 pounds. This is the "Propaganda Village." None of the buildings have windows. The MDL, or border proper. The small concrete divider between the buildings marks the border. The soldiers are South Korean. Like I said, I was hoping to see the classic stand-off I'd heard about, but the KPA border guys must be on break. In fact,
Stock Broker 2007-10-31 23:34:00 Here's what I think of my StockBroker
.And here's what She thinks of hers.
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