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Funny Jokes
2008-03-12 00:41:00
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. "What type of bra?" asked the clerk. "Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?" "Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, colour and material imaginable. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from." Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleslady replied "There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them. The Saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple...The Catholic type supports the ma
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Funny Quotes - Insults
2008-03-12 00:39:00
If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies? - Charles PierceLove Quotes
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Funny Jokes
2008-03-12 00:32:00
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans! Diabetic Recipes
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Funny Jokes
2008-03-12 00:29:00
The ElephantA man is playing the piano softly one night in a downtown bar. In walks an elephant (told you) who goes over to the pianist, and suddenly starts to cry. "There, there", says the pianist "Do you recognise the song?" "No, no," says the elephant "I recognise the keys." Diabetic Recipes
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Funny Jokes
2008-03-10 16:06:00
SpellingTwo men are sitting in a bar. One says to the other, "I think it's spelled W-H-H-O-O-O-M-B."The other man replies, "No, wouldn't it be more like W-H-H-H-O-O-M-M-B-B?"The waitress is walking by and says, "You guys are both idiots! It's spelled W-O-M-B, you jerks!" and she storms off.The one man turns to his friend and says, "How do you like that? She's heard an elephant fart too!" Pancake Recipes
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Funny Quotes - Insults
2008-03-10 02:24:00
He was trying to save both his faces. - John GuntherTop Secret Recipes
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Funny Jokes
2008-03-15 18:51:00
What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with an atheist? Someone who rings your doorbell for absolutely no reason at all! Coloring Easter Eggs
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Funny Jokes
2008-03-15 18:14:00
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill." Coloring Easter Eggs
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Funny Jokes
2008-03-15 17:14:00
Words with Two Meanings...1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female......Any part under a car's hood. Male..........The strap fastener on a woman's bra.2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female......Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male.........Playing football without a cup.3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female......The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male..........Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n. Female......A desire to get married and raise a family. Male...........Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n. Female......A good movie, concert, play or book. Male.........Anything that can be done while drinking beer.6. FLATULENCE (
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Funny Jokes
2008-03-15 16:10:00
ScottishTo be told with a Scotish brogue and add gestures when telling this - don't know how it will "read".One day this young, very large, very handsome member of the Elite Scots Black Guard comes into the local Apothecary.He goes up to the counter, with his kilt swinging from side-to-side with each huge stride. Hung around his waist is a small leather pouch, which he places on the counter, and from it he withdraws a roll of snow-white cotton batting. As he unrolls the batting, the Apothecarian sees a neatly placed stretched out condom.Finally the Guardsman speaks: Whoo much ta be rrrepairrrin' ma rrubberr?The Druggist tells him an amount, at which time the skinflint Guardsman lets out a loud "Hrrumpp", neatly rolls the batting, replaces it in the pouch, pulls the draw-string tight, and S
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Funny Jokes
2008-03-15 13:27:00
He who knows not and knows he knows not is a wise man. He who knows not and knows not he knows not is a fool. James Volpe
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Funny Jokes
2008-03-15 11:42:00
Small Town I hadn't fully realized how much everyone in a small town knows everyone else's business until I moved back in with my husband after a short separation. Included in my mail one day was an envelope forwarded from my prior address. Instead of affixing an official change-of-address sticker, someone in the post office simply wrote on the other side of the envelope, "She moved back."William Campbell
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Funny Quotes - Insults
2008-03-15 11:39:00
His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere. - Mark TwainScottsdale Job NetworkVirginia Chang
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Funny Quotes - Insults
2008-03-15 02:27:00
If I found her floating in my pool, I'd punish my dog. - Joan RiversEaster Quotes
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Funny Quotes - Insults
2008-03-15 00:19:00
You have all the characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner. - AristophanesQuotes Quotes and Sayings
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Funny Quotes - Insults
2008-03-14 23:35:00
Her skin was white as leprosy. - S. T. ColeridgeSt Patrick's Day RecipesCorned Beef and Cabbage Recipes
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Funny Jokes
2008-03-14 23:10:00
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key. Diabetic RecipesRecipes for Diabetics
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Funny Jokes
2008-03-14 21:14:00
Be careful . . . a pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the a_ _. QuotesQuotes
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Funny Jokes
2008-03-14 18:51:00
Why do people make a list ranking snakes by the potency of their venom? Is it more prestigious to be killed by number one than number seventeen? QuotesRecipes
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Funny Quotes - Insults
2008-03-14 17:07:00
The gods too are fond of a joke. - AristotleQuotes Quotes
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Funny Quotes - Insults
2008-03-14 16:59:00
He must have killed a lot of men to have made so much money. - MoliereRecipesQuotes
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Funny Quotes - Insults
2008-03-14 16:50:00
She could carry off anything; and some people said that she did. - Ada LeversonEaster Recipes
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Funny Quotes - Insults
2008-03-14 16:47:00
He writes his plays for the ages--the ages between five and twelve. - George Nathan (about George Bernard Shaw)Easter Recipes
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Funny Jokes
2008-03-14 15:38:00
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. -Rita Rudner Funny Quotes
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Funny Quotes - Insults
2008-03-14 13:56:00
He is brilliant - to the top of his boots. - David Lloyd GeorgeMagic Reindeer FoodFruit Jokes
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Funny Quotes - Insults
2008-03-14 12:14:00
He was about as useful in a crisis as a sheep. - Dorothy EdenFamous Quotes Funny Jokes


Peace Quotes
2008-03-13 15:53:00
Peace Quotes Quotes about PeaceWe look forward to the time when the Power of Love will replace the Love of Power. Then will our world know the blessings of peace. - William Gladstone Jewish Recipes
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Science Quotes and Scientist Quotes
2008-03-13 15:51:00
Science Quotes Quotes About ScienceScience without religion is lame, religion without science is blind. - Albert Einstein Diabetic Recipes
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Funny Jokes
2008-03-13 13:57:00
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.-Rita Rudner- Recipes
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Funny Jokes
2008-03-13 13:51:00
A laugh is a smile with fireworksAh, another good day; my ISP is still working! A laugh is a smile with fireworks! Hookd on fonix reelly workd fer mee! A watchmaker is someone who doesn't charge extra for working over time. American kids have Nintendo; Japanese children have homework Don't be pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway. HowCanIBeCreativeWithSuchALimitedAmountOfSpaceToWorkWith? Go to work in your underwear and the dream will go away. Hocus Pocus' doesn't work anymore; I think they changed the password. I support Merit Pay and Piece Work for politicians. I'd whistle while I work, but all I know are happy songs. This eFriendship works out b/c I am Gemini and you are ridiculous. Please weight...Spell Checker at work.Easter Jokes
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