Owner: Old SM URL:http://sarcasticmom.blogspot.com Join Date: Thu, 11 Oct 2007 03:06:01 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: A sarcastic mom ready to share my views on the simultaneous joy and hell of being a new mommy, a wife, and living my life in general. Anything's game. Getting offended is a possibility. Laughing is required. Site statistics:Click here
The Rack In Danger 2008-03-05 00:05:01 Braden’s Hiney has the day off, folks.
I knew you would be disappointed, so I’m whipping out The Rack to soften the blow.
Apparently, an upside-down ketchup bottle can build up some pressure…
Look at how The Rack narrowly avoided disaster!
Watch out, Rack! *gasp*
As for the mess, I got up most of it with my finger, but there [...] Read more:Danger
Where’s Mr. Bubble when you need him? 2008-03-04 00:01:09 Quick Announcement:
Next PSBN Post: March 10th
Breastfeeding Carnival Post scheduled for Tuesday, March 11th.
Birth Story Carnival Post scheduled for Monday, March 24th.
(see here and here for more info)
Link in with your related story on those days. I’ll post buttons soon.
On to today’s post:
Since I’ve been vomiting on you people all of my feelings and states of being for [...] Read more:Bubble
Anyone else, I’d kill. 2008-03-03 00:01:16 My son: already uber skilled at making me wish, Forrest Gump Style, that God would make me a bird so I could fly far, far away.
Yeah. Either that, or just jam a very sharp pencil into my temple. Whatev.
Braden finds several ways each day to make my soul feel tired, from peeing on every inch of carpet [...] Read more:Anyone
Weekly Winners Feb24 - Mar1 2008-03-02 00:01:40 February 23rd - March 1st
If you dig my photos, I’d appreciate your vote.
Fallen, But Nestled
My Other Chunky Thighs
Expressive Much?
My Happiness, Captured
Boob Tubin’ It
Each One Unique
Alone, It Floats On
Before Being Pulverized
All WeeklyWinners
Posts
Check out my Re-Vamped Photo Sites:
All Lotus, All The Time
A Braden A Day
Not Words 2008-03-12 22:42:33 I was going to forego writing a post tonight for tomorrow, something I never do, because, well. I’m just really tired.
My mind hurts, my body hurts, my heart hurts.
I felt that if I wrote, I needed to tell you the most recent developments in the House Hell Saga, and if you can forgive me, the truth [...] Read more:Words
That thing that sometimes eludes us: Happiness. (Now with less spelling errors!) 2008-03-15 00:01:41 Okay. This post was up all day with “alludes” instead of “eludes” in the title.
WHY DIDN’T ANYONE CRY, “IDIOT!?”
*ashamed*
************************
Since I really haven’t been doing enough complaining lately (refer to the first part of my site name), I thought I’d mention something to you guys today.
Braden is sick AGAIN.
Yup.
It’s the third time in a month and [...] Read more:spelling
That’s what I get for letting him watch tv before age 3. 2008-03-18 00:01:10 If you have a young child, you have no doubt put some thought into the example you set on a daily basis. You have probably considered that maybe there are certain words in your vocabulary (shitpissdamnhell… and, um. Etc.) that you don’t want to hear repeated in a cute toddler voice. Probably 60 - 100 times [...] Read more:watch
17 Months 2008-03-17 00:01:47 Dear Braden,
Yesterday you turned 17 months old. This past month was a rough month, my son. It was the month of 2 bad colds, and the suspicion that the mold in our home was either causing your illness directly, or lowering your immunity so that you were more susceptible to the ickies. But we’ll worry about that no [...] Read more:Months
Facehole Cramming Stuff 2008-03-20 01:01:12 Once again:
Today, I’ll also answer all of the food related questions that you guys asked me on my Questions Post!
(You can still leave me questions on that post. I’m going to answer them slowly in a series of posts, so you still have time.)
Secret Agent Mama asked me, “What would you cook for me if [...]
Self-Portrait Truthiness - Alternate Title: At Least You Can’t Smell My Breath 2008-03-19 00:01:59 Is this Wednesday Wordless? Well. Not really. But at least it will have photos in it…
Back on Monday, March 10th, the always awesome Sweetney showed us her real, first thing in the morning self.
That’s right. Just after waking, no make-up, no hair primpin’ - no nothin’ extra.
Can I just say I LOVE a woman who’s not [...] Read more:Portrait
, Title
, Smell
, Breath
Freak-Me-Out-Elmo 2008-03-22 00:01:11 My sweet, fun-loving brother and lovely sister-in-law have purchased for Braden some of his favorite toys.
From his baby registry, they got him the BE Musical Turtle Crib Toy, which he LOVES.
When we visited this past summer, they gave him this little guy:
Its sings the ABCs, which is one of Braden’s favorite songs.
And for Christmas, they [...] Read more:Freak
Don’t get me wrong, I’m MORE than happy to be unpacking. 2008-03-21 00:01:05 Been scheduling posts
all week amidst the moving
chaos we are in.
So many of you
have already helped us with
gifts, words, and support.
We thank you from the
bottom of our collective hearts.
It means so much.
New internet should
be hooked up sometime today.
I won’t hold my breath.
What will I be doing?
Taking a bath in front of
a window, for fun?
At some point, [...]
Birth-Story Carnival 2008-03-24 00:01:44 Here’s the (re)post of Braden’s Birth-Story as the kick-off to the Birth-Story Carnival
. As with the (Breast)Feeding Carnival, this is a way for us to share emotional stories with one another. It can help us learn about one another, and it can definitely help educate.
Adoption stories, or ANY stories about how your family grew, are [...]
I love you, John. 2008-03-28 00:01:27 Online we first met
and he wrote a word that I
found hilarious.
In that old chat room
my future husband typed out
the great word, “brown-eye.”
Just friends at that time,
but his use of that silly
word made me like him.
A little over
two and a half years later
we were united.
The ceremony
was simple. All that mattered
was our real, shared love.
We celebrate now,
our [...]
Giving up carefree toilet time? Yeah, it’s worth it. 2008-03-31 00:01:47 So, there are clearly plenty of posts on this website where I whine and complain about the things that Braden does that drive me nuts. Heck, he even stepped in and gave you his outline of The Plan, and anyone reading that can see that the first couple of years can be just a little [...] Read more:Giving
Weekly Winners Mar23-Mar29 2008-03-30 00:01:11 March 23rd - March 29th
Chocolate From First Easter Egg Found
A Natural Model
They Came And Went So Fast
Stages of Life
Johnny Jump-Up And Play With Me!
In Swim Pose
Double Your Mutated Pleasure
Bathie-Time, Reflected
All WeeklyWinners
Posts
Check out my Photo Sites:
All Lotus, All The Time
A Braden A Day
Coming soon… My Nature Photos Site! Stay tuned.
This is probably how Britney felt the day she shaved her head. 2008-04-03 00:01:53 Wednesday morning it became evident that it was going to be one of THOSE days.
You know, one of those days when my inherited tendency to act like a MENTALLY DERANGED LUNATIC is blatantly obvious to anyone within a 32.7 mile radius.
So, this is kind of like an update to let you all know that getting off [...] Read more:Britney
They’re bringing our kids quality, educational programming. 2008-04-02 00:01:45 But as far as teaching them how to count, well…
Wait for it…
Wait for it…
Wait for it…
Or maybe they’re just making sure our kids are as depressed as we are about aging.
I like to kill 2 birds with one stone. 2008-04-05 00:01:20 I’m working on a post about how some people in the blogosphere are annoyed with Mommy Bloggers, particuarly those who tend to discuss their offspring’s fecal habits and/or post “inappropriate” photos of their kids.
And, well, I’ve clearly done the first, and been accused of the second (of course, that is in the eye of the beholder, [...]
It’s the little things. 2008-04-04 00:01:51 [Written Thursday night.]
This afternoon I
was given a trip back in
time with my sweet son.
I was able to
take part in something with him
not done for months now.
Today my Braden
laid on my chest, slumbering.
A nap on the couch.
Perhaps his butt-rash
made him need Momma Snuggles.
I had them to give.
We used to do that
every day at naptime,
when he was [...] Read more:little
, things
I guess what I’m saying is, can’t we all just get along, bitches? 2008-04-07 00:01:29 Sometimes, when I’m surfing around Ye Olde Blog World, I notice, here and there, some rather harsh words relating to the whole “Mommy Blogger” Trend. The harshness seems to be multiplied when referring specifically to the Stay-At-Home breed of MB’s.
I try not to get offended. It ain’t easy, because:
1) I’m stupidly sensitive and ridiculously, pathetically easy to hurt.
2) Ack. I’m a [...] Read more:saying
, along
Why I hold off on killing him. 2008-04-10 00:01:50 On Tuesday, I gave you ‘Braden a la I-Scream.’
It is always good to achieve balance in life, and so I give you a video of how he redeems himself.
Aren’t they cute together?
For your nipple viewing pleasure. 2008-04-12 00:01:05 Yup. That’s right. Today, I am going to go all out and show my nipple.
You see, some time ago, I asked everyone around these parts to ask me some questions.
I said that I would answer them all.
You are probably thinking (if you’ve been around awhile, or especially if you asked a question)… “Yeah, Lotus, you [...]
Weekly Winners, April 6th - April 12th 2008-04-13 00:01:56 Don’t forget to get your posts ready for Project Support Beauty In Nature! My next post goes up TOMORROW - Monday, April
14 - so be ready to link in. Thanks!
April 6th - April 12th
Short Beauties
Resisting The Lapping Waves
Quiet Contemplation
Look Deeper Than The Surface…
Big Boy, Careful Daddy
Centerpiece
Waiting For The Wind
I Felt Like A [...] Read more:Weekly
, Winners
Scrubba Dub Dub! 2008-04-14 00:01:58 It’s that time o’ the month again… no, not time to whip out your “WOMEN’S PADS!” Rather, it’s time to talk about the positive changes we’re making in our lives that will benefit us and our planet!
I wanted to mention that we are still loving the BumGenius diapers that I talked about in my last [...]
Technical Difficulties… Please Stay Tuned 2008-04-16 21:39:06 John arrived home late Sunday night - soon after, he fell ill. VERY ill.
It seems John brought a friend home off the road with him - YAY!
Have I mentioned that I’m not the best at hospitality? Well, I’m not. I’m socially retarded in so many ways, and that is one of them. And when the guest [...] Read more:Technical
, Please
, Technical Difficulties
Don’t act like it’s never happened to you. 2008-04-18 00:01:43 Well, my friends, it looks
like Gastroenteritis
Fest ‘Oh-Eight is done.
I never knew that
my butthole could imitate
a waterfall. Wow.
And did you know that
after forty-eight hours of
nothing but fluids…
Dry toast tastes kind of
like the best gourmet meal that’s
ever been prepared?
And I wanted to
mention to all of you guys
that you should never
post about something
that you “hope doesn’t happen.”
TEMPT YE [...]
My brother rocked the Punky Brewster shoes. 2008-04-19 00:01:37 Theme for April 19th, 2008: “Thirteen”
So, maybe I should share with you all photos of myself when I was thirteen?
Like this one of me and my lil’ bro sitting on the washing machine with our bike helmets on, singing together while we eat our popsicles? I never would have admitted it then, but my little [...] Read more:Punky
, Brewster
, shoes
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