Owner: just sick jokes URL:http://www.jokes.justsickshit.com Join Date: Thu, 11 Oct 2007 00:22:35 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: jokes of all kinds, video and pictures of silly shit, sick shit and insane humor funny laws and crazy politics Site statistics:Click here
No 911 prank, and no joke either… hmmm 2007-10-04 13:53:48 The story goes that there is someone so dumb in Seatle that he apparantly called police to complain that boy scouts may have stollen his bag filled with cocaine&hellip
; yes folks, lets hope he has no offspring because dumb asses should not breed…. or thats what my mother says
Federal agents thought there was something fishy about Leroy Carr. On four occasions since last December, Carr either
crossed the Canadian border or was found near it with thousands of dollars in cash, according to a complaint filed in U.S. District Court. He also sometimes carried night vision goggles and a GPS device programmed with coordinates for a well-known drug-smuggling trail.But Carr refused to speak with Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents, and they let him go — until he called to ask if they had seen his cocaine.
Ahh, Say what
According to the complaint, he told agents that on Aug. 3, he had stashed two blue backpacks containing 68 pounds of cocaine by the entrance to a Boy Scout camp n
You may wanna pass on this bargain… hear it comes with a small limb as an extra 2007-10-03 21:43:49 A man who thought he had picked up a bargain at auction got a grisly surprise - when he found an amputated leg inside.
The buyer snapped up a food smoker at an auction of abandoned items - but may be wishing he looked inside before handing over the cash.
When he finally did, he discovered what he thought was a piece of driftwood wrapped in paper.
But unwrapping it revealed a human leg, cut off 5 to 8cm above the knee.
The barbecue-style smoker had been sold at an auction of items left behind at a storage facility in North Carolina.
Investigators in Maiden contacted the mother and son who had rented the space where the smoker was found.
Peg Steele explained her son had his leg amputated after a plane crash and kept the leg following the surgery “for religious reasons” she knew little about.
“The rest of the family was very much against it,” she added.
John Wood now plans to drive to Maiden to reclaim his amputated leg, police said.
Read more:comes
, hellip
, wanna
Kung Fu Kitty and the shoplifting bird.. tag team 2007-10-03 21:18:12 Now here is a cat no one wants to run into in the dark alley.. now I have had some sick cats in my life, as in claw your ass if you geed them too late, but this is just too much of a bad ass cat, not really a great joke or anything… but a way sick animal picture.
The other pic below is a seagull with a taste for Doritos… yep, the bird loves his or her chips.
Apparently, so I read, this one bird came into a minimart one day and ran off with a bag of chips, the store crew, stunned by it, just let the seagull run with the “prize”. Anyway, outside they came to find the open bag and other birds feasting.
A few days later, the bird walks in again and does the same crime of “chip lifting”. No one calls 911 to get the bad bird sent to the pen, so birdie gets away again…..
Now, its become routine, bird comes in to get the chips, goes outside and shares the wealth… Kinda like the Robin Hood of the bird kingdom.
The shop owner says, they let him Read more:Kitty
Sick Michael Jackson? 2007-10-03 21:12:19 Michael and Debbie were in the maternity ward just after Debbie gave birth to their first child.
Michael asked her “How long do you think it will be before we can have sex?”
Debbie replied, “Jeez Michael, give it a chance to walk first!”
Read more:Jackson
, Michael
A day in the life of Ralph 2007-09-30 19:12:09 Makes me glad I was not born a bug, however, I would get way more rest
The sun is coming up and I, Ralph
Roach, hate light. I think I’ll camp out in one of my favorite places: under the dark toaster.
Goodnight, diary. Your pal, Ralph
its 7AM and Yowch! Someone toasts a bagel and wakes me out of my quiet slumber. Gotta get away from the noise and heat. I barely escape with my life as an angry human tries to swat me with a newspaper. A mad dash along the counter, a sharp turn down the side of the fridge. Ahhh, peace at last. A small dust bunny blows under the fridge. I check it out with an antenna. No biggie. Back to sleep.
3 pm. Tragedy!
The boy comes home from school. He yanks open the fridge, grabs a soda and spills a half gallon of milk. Me and my roach pals have to scurry before we drown in this growing lake. On our way to safety, the cat catches Clifford, my brother. I can’t even stop to give him a proper burial. Luckily, I escape into
Celebrity mug shots 2007-10-11 16:00:55 Knowing celebrities take much better mug shots
than the average joe, can you pick out the Hollywood stars from the criminals below?
[Show as slideshow]
Read more:Celebrity
Why do the Hollywood stars take such great mug shots? 2007-10-11 15:44:07 Everytime we see a Hollywood
star in a mug shot, they seem to look great. So why is that so and how do the rest of us achieve the same goal.
lets check it out and answer this question once and for all… Why do the Hollywood stars
take such great mug shots
when the rest of America does not?
lets do a small comparison
So we have the Paris Hilton Mugshot above and we have “unknown woman who likes to party” Who looks better? hmm, thats a no brainer there. But the question and answer here is simple. The girl at the bottom could not manage her time well. She learned how to party hard, and just did not have the time to figure out how to do the hair and makeup while partying. Paris on the other hand has it down…. She does her hair and makeup before she goes out partying, that way she gets the great mug shot if she gets busted at the party. So for our first comparison, it comes down to who can manage thier time better.
Mel Gibson and unknown “non alcoholic&
No 911 prank, and no joke either… hmmm 2007-10-04 13:53:48 The story goes that there is someone so dumb in Seatle that he apparantly called police to complain that boy scouts may have stollen his bag filled with cocaine&hellip
; yes folks, lets hope he has no offspring because dumb asses should not breed…. or thats what my mother says
Federal agents thought there was something fishy about Leroy Carr. On four occasions since last December, Carr either
crossed the Canadian border or was found near it with thousands of dollars in cash, according to a complaint filed in U.S. District Court. He also sometimes carried night vision goggles and a GPS device programmed with coordinates for a well-known drug-smuggling trail.But Carr refused to speak with Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents, and they let him go — until he called to ask if they had seen his cocaine.
Ahh, Say what
According to the complaint, he told agents that on Aug. 3, he had stashed two blue backpacks containing 68 pounds of cocaine by the entrance to a Boy Scout camp n
You may wanna pass on this bargain… hear it comes with a small limb as an extra 2007-10-03 21:43:49 A man who thought he had picked up a bargain at auction got a grisly surprise - when he found an amputated leg inside.
The buyer snapped up a food smoker at an auction of abandoned items - but may be wishing he looked inside before handing over the cash.
When he finally did, he discovered what he thought was a piece of driftwood wrapped in paper.
But unwrapping it revealed a human leg, cut off 5 to 8cm above the knee.
The barbecue-style smoker had been sold at an auction of items left behind at a storage facility in North Carolina.
Investigators in Maiden contacted the mother and son who had rented the space where the smoker was found.
Peg Steele explained her son had his leg amputated after a plane crash and kept the leg following the surgery “for religious reasons” she knew little about.
“The rest of the family was very much against it,” she added.
John Wood now plans to drive to Maiden to reclaim his amputated leg, police said.
Read more:comes
, hellip
, wanna
Kung Fu Kitty and the shoplifting bird.. tag team 2007-10-03 21:18:12 Now here is a cat no one wants to run into in the dark alley.. now I have had some sick cats in my life, as in claw your ass if you geed them too late, but this is just too much of a bad ass cat, not really a great joke or anything… but a way sick animal picture.
The other pic below is a seagull with a taste for Doritos… yep, the bird loves his or her chips.
Apparently, so I read, this one bird came into a minimart one day and ran off with a bag of chips, the store crew, stunned by it, just let the seagull run with the “prize”. Anyway, outside they came to find the open bag and other birds feasting.
A few days later, the bird walks in again and does the same crime of “chip lifting”. No one calls 911 to get the bad bird sent to the pen, so birdie gets away again…..
Now, its become routine, bird comes in to get the chips, goes outside and shares the wealth… Kinda like the Robin Hood of the bird kingdom.
The shop owner says, they let him Read more:Kitty
Sick Michael Jackson? 2007-10-03 21:12:19 Michael and Debbie were in the maternity ward just after Debbie gave birth to their first child.
Michael asked her “How long do you think it will be before we can have sex?”
Debbie replied, “Jeez Michael, give it a chance to walk first!”
Read more:Jackson
, Michael
A day in the life of Ralph 2007-09-30 19:12:09 Makes me glad I was not born a bug, however, I would get way more rest
The sun is coming up and I, Ralph
Roach, hate light. I think I’ll camp out in one of my favorite places: under the dark toaster.
Goodnight, diary. Your pal, Ralph
its 7AM and Yowch! Someone toasts a bagel and wakes me out of my quiet slumber. Gotta get away from the noise and heat. I barely escape with my life as an angry human tries to swat me with a newspaper. A mad dash along the counter, a sharp turn down the side of the fridge. Ahhh, peace at last. A small dust bunny blows under the fridge. I check it out with an antenna. No biggie. Back to sleep.
3 pm. Tragedy!
The boy comes home from school. He yanks open the fridge, grabs a soda and spills a half gallon of milk. Me and my roach pals have to scurry before we drown in this growing lake. On our way to safety, the cat catches Clifford, my brother. I can’t even stop to give him a proper burial. Luckily, I escape into
These Kids know whats up 2007-10-24 23:34:15 More proof that the education system may be better overseas
that dirty rat 2007-10-24 23:29:46 Dirty rat, This chump really does not care about the fact that his little mate there probably has a serious headache. Nor, does he seem to care if there is a pulse
Read more:dirty
This carrot may make men cry 2007-10-24 23:18:42 Hey, This 3 legged carrot gives new meaning to eating all of your veggies
Guys, we finally know the truth behind this one 2007-10-24 19:34:47 Everyone always wonders if anyone really wears underwear under those Scottish Kilts. Now, uncovering the truth took some time and extensive research, but finally the wait is over and we have now found out for sure!
Read more:behind
Reading the signs on the wall 2007-10-24 19:31:10 We all know its normally a good idea to read the signs
. Here are some great signs that really are telling you something very important
[Show as slideshow]
Read more:Reading
who is she really? 2007-10-22 18:18:50 So who is this girl really?
Well, she can be your next door nieghbor
or the the preachers wife
This is pretty cool, radical makeover picture gallery using only one model. This one girl goes through many transformations looking like dozens of different people from a teenage girl, to elderly lady.
[Show as slideshow]
12►
The real threat to the Terrorists - revealed 2007-11-05 05:01:47 Holy Shit! I think they are serious now. Bush really does mean to destroy us.
The western infidels have shot us, bombed us, tortured us, taken our land, goats and oil… but this is going too far.
Read more:Terrorists
, threat
Jihad Joe Vs. The Turbanator 2007-11-05 03:37:44 Who would win in this Hollywood “will probably be made” flick?
In 2 opposite corners of the Globe - We have 2 men of the people
2 different lands.
One wants to remove all hatred from the “oil production holly land” the other wants to remove, well, everyone in the western hemisphere.
On one side we have The
He’s bad
He’s well financed
he’s mean
He is well armed with large, fancy guns
He likes to blow things up
He looks good in sunglasses
He has the support of the original, The California Governator.
On the other side we have (Terrorism poster boy) Jihad
Joe
He is mean
He claims to have God on his side
He has the support of his military troops
He has many followers all devoted and suicidal
Knows his terrain and the best caves and foxholes to hide in
Has many websites devoted to his cause, unlike the Terbanator who has many websites mocking him
Stay tuned for a sequal, and the bloody fight over the oil rights.
The New cast of Star Wars and the Empire strikes back 2007-11-05 01:39:10 People are constantly saying that there is a political side to Star Wars
. So we took the liberty of looking for the connection between Star Wars and the Middle East. Some connections are based on character, some are based on looks.
Bush is Luke
But is Rice really Princess Leia?
Is Hillary really the Emperor?
Is Saddam really Darth Maul?
Is bin Laden really Darth Vader?
Bush 41 makes a great Obi-Wan
Powell is played by Samuel L Jackson
C3P0 = Tony Blair
Cynthia McKinney is Jar Jar.
Suicide Bombers = Stormtroopers.
Couldn’t hit anything with a gun.
Ewoks = Northern Alliance
Tom Daschle is Boba Fett.
R2D2 is Stephen Hawking
Al Gore = Trees of Endor
If you would like to speak with Al Gore, Click Here.
Common Component:
Looks, Character
Comments:
He’s old and bald, so the visual connection is pretty clear. He’s wise and also a teacher. In addition he’s done his sha Read more:Empire
Dr. Jerry consults President Bush on policy 2007-11-05 01:28:47 PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT CLARIFYING ONGOING DEVELOPMENT OF THE PRESIDENT’S ISRAEL POLICY
“God bless you in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord!”
This official Department of Faith announcement is intended to eliminate any confusion American citizens might be experiencing regarding the President
’s (America’s) stand on Israel. Since electing George W. Bush as our President for the next four (God willing, eight) years, our nation has come to expect that none of his International Policy decisions are made without a cursory review of relevant Biblical Prophecies. The President is a True Christian®, and that’s just what True Christians® do before they make any life decision. Whether it be deciding which kind of toilet paper to buy or how long to wait around while Ariel Sharon fertilizes the gardens of gated West Bank Jewish communities with Palestinian body parts donated by Yasser Afarat’s harem of pyromaniacs, President Bush Read more:Jerry
DisneyWorld Jerusalem… the way to peace 2007-11-05 01:21:06 PRESIDENT BUSH UNVEILS BOLD NEW BLUEPRINT FOR PEACE AND HAPPINESS IN THE MIDDLE EAST
Remarks by the President to a Hand-Picked Audience of Supporters
THE PRESIDENT: Good afternoon. As a few of you may have heard, the situation between the Israeloids and Palestiniacs continues to deteriorate, despite my administration’s best efforts to appear effectual. Of course, until recently, our Middle East policy was built upon the assumption that the only Americans who give a damn about this conflict were the Jews - and inasmuch as they all voted for Al Gore (or at least meant to), Karl Rove felt it best if we didn’t get too mixed up their little blood feud. But today, not only are an increasing number of non-Jewish Americans telling pollsters that this war might impact how they vote in the mid-term elections, but some prominent petrochemical tycoons are starting to suspect that the situation might escalate to a point where the entire region is destabilized, and ou Read more:hellip
, Jerusalem
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