Owner: SuburbanDaddy URL:http://www.suburbandaddy.com Join Date: Mon, 08 Oct 2007 07:25:24 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: Parenting advice and struggles of a dad with three small children Site statistics:Click here
Can Parents Really Be Like This? 2007-10-05 07:30:36 I can’t believe what I read in today’s Family Almanac column in the Washington Post. A mother of a 10 month old is asking how to get her toddler to listen to her and stop being so curious. I especially like this:
When we were on vacation, the rental home was full of objects he shouldn’t touch and I was bothered by all the “no’s” we had to give him. I also get upset when he won’t sit in his car seat.
What!? This has to be a joke. He’s 10 months old! I’m sorry you were so “bothered” by your kid on your vacation. Maybe you need to read about my vacation. If I had a dollar for every “no” I’ve given in the last 4 years, I would be RichDaddy instead of SuburbanDaddy.
Seriously, can someone be this clueless about raising a kid? I can’t wait until this parent has to deal with the terrible two’s, potty training, and all the other goodies waiting for them.
Read more:Parents
Student Bus Driver 2007-10-04 07:02:18 Here’s something you don’t see every day. A StudentDriver
sign on the back of a school bus. I was lucky enough to be behind one (going really, really slooow) so I took this picture. I guess things are different today. When I was a kid riding the bus to school, they didn’t let us take a turn at the wheel.
How To Win A Test Of Wills With A 4 Year Old 2007-09-24 20:21:29 It started as a normal Saturday. The usual weekend errands and activities. Then, it was as if all the forces aligned to form the Perfect Storm, or in this case, the Perfect Four Year Old Meltdown.
Around 5:30pm, Thing 1 got into a scuffle over a toy with his brother, Thing 2. Again, nothing new here. Except this time, after I took the toy away, Thing 1 expressed his anger by peeing in front of me, soaking his pants and creating a puddle on the floor. There were previous incidents where he had “intentional accidents” to get our attention. But he had never been so bold as to look at me while he was doing it! The test of wills had begun.
He was immediately sent to his room to change his clothes and stay there until I finished feeding Thing 3. It was pretty quiet for the next 20 minutes so I was prepared to go up to his room for “the talk”. Getting angry = OK. Peeing on the floor because you are angry = not OK. But when I went into his room, he had pulled Read more:Wills
Vacationing With Kids Is No Vacation 2007-09-14 19:42:58 We just returned from a so-called family vacation. When I went to work Monday morning, I heard comments like “Welcome back. You must be so well rested.” and “It must have been so hard coming back to work today.” These were obviously not people with three kids under 4. When you have young kids, there is nothing relaxing about a vacation. For the kids its a vacation. For the parents, a vacation is actually a lot of WORK!
Our trip (I won’t use the word ‘vacation’ anymore) was to Sandbridge, a quiet beach area just south of Virginia Beach. We rented a house for the week. The house was actually quite nice, with plenty of room for all 5 of us and our minivan stuffed with gear, toys, clothes, snacks, books, DVDs, and everything else we could squeeze in.
The thing about a trip like this is that it still has many elements of a real vacation, the kind of vacation that existed pre-kids. Except those moments are very short lived, or they are combi Read more:Vacation
, Vacationing
A Better Way To Rock Your Baby To Sleep 2007-08-16 13:45:36 In the “why didn’t I think of that” category, enter The Settle Pedal. A nifty contraption that turns any ordinary crib into a foot powered rocker.
From their website:
The Settle Pedal is a product of the wisdom accumulated from having three kids. A tired engineer Dad decided a tool was necessary for helping get child number three to sleep so there’d be some energy left over for numbers one and two. Thus, the Settle Pedal was born.
Like this guy, SuburbanDaddy is a tired engineer Dad that has accumulated wisdom from having three kids. But, I’m still waiting for the invention light bulb to go off in my head.
Read more:Sleep
What Are Babies Thinking? 2007-08-10 08:04:05 At two months old, Thing 3 is able to smile. It’s a major milestone for parents. This bundle, aka blob, of joy that has done nothing but eat/cry/sleep/poop for two months, is now aware of his surroundings and able to interact with us. Everyone comes up to him now and tries to get him to smile. I wonder, what do babies think when parents try to get them to smile? Are they as amused as us?
Read more:Babies
Day vs. Night 2007-08-03 07:55:49 Since the arrival of Thing 3 about two months ago, I have developed a bit of a split personality. Day SuburbanDaddy is the guy that gets up around 5am, gets the kids dressed and fed before rushing them off to preschool, then goes to work, followed by a final flurry of dinner-bath-bedtime. Night
SuburbanDaddy is the one that comes out once the kids are finally asleep, hopefully by 8:30pm, and enjoys the relative quiet until the cycle repeats starting at 5am.
Day Daddy eats meals in 12 seconds, standing up, over the sink, while Things 1,2,3 are screaming, fighting, crying, or breaking stuff. Night Daddy sips a glass of wine and catches up on the day’s events, while quietly waiting for dinner to cook.
Day Daddy must maintain a steady flow of caffeine while at work to prevent falling asleep with his head on the keyboard. Night Daddy enjoys a bowl of ice cream every night before going to sleep.
Day Daddy is the responsible one. If there were no Night Daddy, Day would go to bed as
Kids Say The Funniest Things #3 2007-07-20 20:12:00 Thing 1: Would a dog be a good pet?
SuburbanMommy: Yes
Thing 1: Would a cat be a good pet?
SuburbanMommy: Yes, a cat is a good pet
Thing 1: Would a whale shark be a good pet?
SuburbanMommy: Probably not
Thing 2: An Oreo is a good pet!
Kids Say The Funniest Things #2 2007-07-20 20:09:07 [after a successful potty attempt]
Thing 1: Going poopie helps your penis get bigger
SuburbanDaddy: What?!
Thing 1: When your penis goes up, the poopie comes down
SuburbanDaddy: Where did you hear that?
Thing 1: From you, daddy
Kids Say The Funniest Things #1 2007-07-20 20:03:11 [Car passes us while driving]
Thing 1: Daddy, why are you driving so slow?
SuburbanDaddy: I’m not driving slow. He’s driving fast.
Thing 1: The policeman will stop him and give him a timeout. That’s what happens when you go too fast.
[thinks for a little bit]
Thing 1: Do race cars get timeouts?
This Song Says It All 2007-10-11 08:08:16 Another dad sings about “all the crying and the whining” that’s part of putting kids to bed. I couldn’t have said it any better…
What An Oreo Can Tell You About Your Kids 2007-10-10 07:21:09 The way someone eats an Oreo can give interesting insight into their personality. There is even a psychological test on the subject. Thing 1 and Thing 2 eat Oreos in very different ways, and it’s right on with their different personalities.
According to the test, Thing 1 fits into the Twisted apart, the inside, and then the cookie category.
You have a highly curious nature. You take pleasure in breaking things apart to find out how they work, though not always able to put them back together, so you destroy all the evidence of your activities. You deny your involvement when things go wrong. You are a compulsive liar and exhibit deviant, if not criminal, behavior.
Thing 2 is clearly in The Whole Thing category.
This means you consume life with abandon, you are fun to be with, exciting, carefree with some hint of recklessness. You are totally irresponsible. No one should trust you with their children.
This video shows the two different styles in action. Regardless of how they eat
Sometimes This Parenting Thing Is Easy 2007-10-19 13:18:04 Once in a while…and it isn’t very often…I actually think I’ve got this parenting thing under control. I’ll be out with one or more kids, and get an almost out of body experience, where I can see myself and think wow, that guy makes it look so easy.
I had Thing
2 and Thing 3 (toddler and infant) to myself one evening after picking them up at daycare, so I decided rather than go home as usual, we’d stop at a new pizza place for dinner. Thing 3 usually sleeps in his car carrier, and Thing 2 loves to eat. How hard could it be?
There was a long line to order food. Thing 2 started to wander off. My arm was about to fall off from holding the baby carrier. We ordered a slice of pizza and a sandwich and found an empty table. When I went back to the counter to get the drinks, and Thing 2 couldn’t see me anymore, he started crying and everyone was staring at the dad who looked to be in way over his head. Then Thing 3 woke up and needed a bottle Read more:Sometimes
, Parenting
Ridiculous Recall: Water Shoes Slippery When Wet 2007-10-29 07:05:50 Here’s another in the category of ridiculous product recalls. H&M stores voluntarily stopped selling a pair of water shoes because, get this, water makes them slippery. There have been no reports of injuries but H&M felt compelled to remove them anyway.
Want to make some easy money? Get a pair of these shoes, run outside when it’s raining, and then sue H&M for big bucks for not telling you water makes the ground slippery.
True Origins Of Santa Claus 2007-10-27 08:18:33 There is much lore about how SantaClaus
came to be. And lots of cynics will tell you it’s part of the commercialization of Christmas, a plot by the retailers and greeting card industry to get people to spend lots of money each year.
I have my own theory on the origins of Santa Claus
. The whole concept was devised by a parent, probably one with at least three kids like me. Think about it. Santa only brings presents to good little boys and girls. Parents are always looking for some enticement to get kids to behave. And, Santa is always watching to see if you’ve bad or good. Simply brilliant! Now we just need to work this into other times of the year…
Read more:Origins
Bumbo Chair Recall. Are We Going Too Far? 2007-10-26 07:43:34 News yesterday of yet another child product recall, this time for the Bumbo
chair. We’ve used the Bumbo chair for years and it is a great product. It allows babies to sit up before they can do it themselves. Thing 3 loves to sit in his Bumbo and watch his brothers play. It’s like he’s one of the big boys.
The reason for the recall is not due to some product defect. Rather, it is due to misuse, and frankly, lack of common sense on the part of some parents. While the Bumbo is good for keeping babies “stuck” in the chair, it isn’t fool proof, and babies can sometimes get loose. It clearly says this when you buy the product. Not to make light of serious injuries which have occurred, but it seems obvious not to put a Bumbo on a table or counter, or anywhere the baby could get hurt if he falls out. If you put the Bumbo on a carpeted floor, the baby won’t get hurt when he falls out.
So the company will now put large warning labels on the Bu Read more:Chair
, Going
Help! My Kids Don’t Watch Enough Television 2007-11-05 09:45:34 Yes, you read that right. I want my kids to watch more TV. I’d like them to sit, quietly, for about an hour and give SuburbanDaddy a few minutes to rest.
I tried to have “movie time” on both days this weekend. On Saturday I built up the idea of watching Finding Nemo, a movie my kids have seen (at least short sections of it). They already know all the characters thanks to product marketing. We barely got past the previews when Thing 1 started asking for the shark part, and Thing 2 was jumping across the couches. Movie time over.
Sunday I tried again with Toy Story. This time, we set up in the basement. We pulled out the sleeping bag and turned off the lights. Both kids had skipped their naps so they were primed for movie watching. If the amount of time they devote to talking about it is any indication, they love Toy Story. They know all the characters and have seen enough to know what it is about. This time, ten minutes into the movie, after ten minutes of Read more:Enough
, Television
Daddy’s Dirty Little Secrets 2007-11-15 20:12:53 The weight of these two secrets has been building and building, and I just need to get them off my conscience. You must promise never to tell my kids.
Secret #1: When reading books to my kids, I often skip words, paragraphs, or even entire pages. Especially at bedtime. We have some Thomas the train and Dr. Seuss books that take a really long time to read. Sometimes, I just flip through the pages, avoiding the words altogether, and just make up a few words of my own.
Secret #2: I sneak candy out of their Halloween bags. Not from Thing 1’s bag, because he counts all the pieces and knows exactly how much he has. But Thing 2 is too young to realize it, so I keep doing it.
Ok, so I’m a terrible parent. But can you honestly tell me you haven’t done the same???
Read more:Daddy
, Secrets
It’s All About The Routine 2007-11-14 21:36:03 Routine truly is the key to handling a 2 year old. Take bedtime. Usually, a source of stalling, tantrums, coaxing, coercing, and finally, a lot of crying. But when a routine is established, bedtime can actually go fairly easily. Here is the current routine with Thing 2. No detail is too small to repeat every day.
Starting at 7pm, put on pajamas
Watch either Backyardigans, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, or Little Einsteins
Tell Thing 2 to stop jumping on the couch…six times
7:30…Get a drink of milk or apple juice. Thing 2 must open and close the refrigerator door by himself or all bets are off
Piggy back ride upstairs
Brush teeth. First daddy brushes, then his turn. Thing 2 rinses the brush off and puts toothbrush into holder himself or all bets are off
Read the same book we’ve read the previous 4 months. Twice.
Two “running hugs” where Thing 2 runs across the room at full speed to hug me while saying “CHICKEN!”. I have no idea how this st Read more:Routine
Finally A Place For Dads 2007-11-13 16:18:47 With all the mom-focused parenting magazines, websites, blog networks, and marketing, you’d think there was no such thing as a dad. Well, the guys at DadLabs have created a voice for dads everywhere. From what looks like their basement studio, they put out several internet TV episodes each week. Basically, Wayne’s World without the bad hair. Recent topics include a debate about Beer at kids birthday parties, and a product test of a Touch Free Diaper Pail. Go Dads!
Read more:Finally
, Place
Kids Say The Funniest Things #4 2007-11-12 16:19:09 On the way to a birthday party with Thing 1, I made a wrong turn and we were not going to make the party in time.
SuburbanDaddy: We turned the wrong way. We’re going to be a little late.
Thing 1: Daddy, did we go the wrong way because the directions said to go that way. Or because you went the wrong way?
SuburbanDaddy: [no answer]
Yes, not even four years old yet, and my son is already a wise-ass.
Four Years Just Like That 2007-11-20 06:54:24 Thing 1 just turned four. I go back and forth on whether the time has gone by fast or not. In some ways, it has been a blur, and I remember clearly when there was just one Thing and that was about all I could possibly handle. Now there are three of them, and I probably handle better than I did back then. Then, there are times 4 years seems like a very, very long time, and I can’t even remember what it was like before kids. Oh well, I’m sure the next 4 years will go even faster.
Here is some video from the party, held at a kid’s gym. A bit much for a kid’s party? Are you kidding? Do you think I’d have that many kids in my house? The video is from the end of the party, where they have the birthday boy put on a crown and hand out the all important goody bags.
Read more:Years
, Four Years
Santa Makes House Calls 2007-11-26 07:28:15 Every parents knows the misery of the yearly trip to the mall to see Santa
. Waiting in a long line of hyperactive kids. Your kids start crying the minute they sit in Santa’s lap. Then, you have to waste money on pictures of kids with tears all over their faces.
Well, here’s a better way. Why not have Santa come to you? You schedule a time for Santa to call your kids on the phone. They will be amazed that he knows so much about them. Of course, you could just have your Uncle Bob do the same thing, but then you won’t get a CD recording of the call. And, can you really trust Uncle Bob not to tell your kids they’ll be getting the loudest, most expensive gift in the world?
Read more:House
Recall Antibacterial Soap? 2007-11-26 07:08:45 I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the next class of products to be infected with recall-itis. Studies have shown that antibacterial soap is no better than regular soap and water when it comes to stopping bacterial growth. And, they could lead to super germs that are resistant to antibiotics.
A ban on antibacterial products would be huge. But what I’m more concerned about are these super germs. We have every antibacterial product you could imagine - soaps, wipes, toys - so my house is probably ground zero for super germs.
Read more on super germs…
Read more:Antibacterial
SantaSpeaking Giveaway 2007-11-28 20:26:14 WIN a live phone call from Santa Claus courtesy of SantaSpeaking.com (value $26.95). Your kids will be in awe, and you’ll be the talk of the playground.
Just add SuburbanDaddy to your blogroll and leave the link in a comment. Don’t have a blog? Then leave a comment explaining why you think you should win.
Winner will be selected December 10th.
Why Procrastination Is Bad 2007-11-28 07:34:20 When Thing 2 stopped using his high chair, over a year ago, we were happy to get it out of the kitchen. They were always climbing on, pushing, or bumping into it, and it freed up some much needed space. I should have given it a good cleaning before moving to the basement storage room. But, I figured I could just clean it the next time we needed it.
That next time was this weekend, when Thing 3 had his first attempt at solid food. That is, if you can consider rice cereal solid food.
Before we could get those adorable pictures above, I had to deal with what happens when you leave food on a high chair for a year. All that nasty-baby-stuff, which gets into every nook and cranny of the chair, turns into even-nastier-impossible-to-get-off stuff.
Read more:Procrastination
Come On People. Free Stuff Here! 2007-12-10 20:26:52 Today was the final day and not a single entry in the SantaSpeaking giveaway! There really is no catch, folks. I’ll wait a couple more days then I’m taking it down for real this time.
I really thought there would be some interest. I’d use it myself but my kids won’t talk on the phone. Let me rephrase that…they won’t listen on the phone. They are more than happy to press all the buttons and scream into the receiver. I can’t subject Santa to that.
Read more:Free Stuff
The Perfect TV Moment 2007-12-09 18:59:27 In a recent post, I complained that my kids don’t watch enough television. Well, it doesn’t happen often, but today we managed to get all three to watch at the same time. They held this position for only 15 or 20 minutes, but it was great while it lasted.
Read more:Perfect
, Moment
Kids Say The Funniest Things #6 2007-12-08 10:01:04 Thing 1 and I were at a window table at Starbucks. He was enjoying his chocolate milk and cookie. I had my blueberry muffin and grande green tea. We were watching the cars in the busy parking lot go by, as the first snow of the year came down. I guess it was a reflective moment in the mind of a four year old. Out of the blue he remarks:
“There are too many girls in the world. We need more boys.”
Then he took a sip of his chocolate milk.
By “world”, I think he was referring to his pre-school class, which happens to have more girls than boys.
Celebrity Look-Alike 2007-12-06 11:49:52 I just found this very fun site which finds celebrities who look like you. Here is the look-alike match for Thing 2. The personality is a pretty good match, too!
I’ll be posting celebrity look-alikes for the rest of the clan soon…
Read more:Celebrity
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