Owner: Observing Hermann... URL:http://hermann.blog.com/ Join Date: Mon, 01 Oct 2007 11:50:46 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: Obviously dazed and confused about Germany in general and Berlin in particular, an amnesic American (or so his claim) observes the world around him in quiet (not) desperation. Site statistics:Click here
Attention Media Markt shoppers: Drop your weapons and come out with your hands up! 2007-10-01 02:35:00 It doesn’t really add up, does it? On the one hand you have German shoppers literally kicking, gouging and shoving their way into “consumer temples” like they did at Media Markt during Berlin’s Alexa shopping center grand opening recently (windows busting, tons of cops, 15 injuries, the whole nine yards), and then on the other hand you have the regular report ritual about how German consumers refuse to buy anything.
Well it doesn’t add up at first glance, maybe. Word is that a whole lot of this heavily discounted Media Markt stuff landed on eBay the following day. And now things slowly start coming into focus. We’re back to the German obsession with bargain-hunting again. And when you put this together with the German obsession to refuse to ever even think about much less touch his or her savings, incidents like this start to make sense, sort of.
It appears that unemployment can drop here all it wants to (and it has dropped dramatically during the past two years),
Berliner Currywurst 2007-09-30 02:31:00
alt : http://www.youtube.com/v/v0tF52fJ_0c
Unpopular American journalist tells Germans what they want to hear (not) 2007-09-29 04:29:00 Seymour Hirsch, the “presumably most unpopular disclosure journalist” the White House can possibly imagine, has exclusively disclosed to Germany that 1) George W. Bush believes in God and that 2) he believes he is doing said God’s Will. I mean, who would have thought that?
These shocking revelations come on the heels of other brand new, unexpected and thoroughly shocking disclosers, like Bush actually wanting to “build Democracy in Iraq” and “this President has put it into his head to remodel the Middle East. He really believes in this.”
Still reeling from these Revelations-type revelations, German readers’ jaws dropped even further when subjected to even more shocking news, although this time coming more in the form of tacit Hirsch admissions about how the so-called Surge is actually working even though everybody with any brains knows that it couldn’t and can’t and how he still refuses to let go of his personal Vietnam obsession he has been obsessing with for the Read more:American
, tells
, Germans
Who says women aren’t good with tools? 2007-09-28 01:19:00 Women over here sure the hell are. Or one of them in Hamburg was. “Acting in a state of mental confusion” and high precision, a Chinese woman went on trial in Hamburg yesterday for ramming a 35 centimeter drill into the ear of her sleeping ex-husband.
And then it gets weird. She denies she was attempting to kill the guy, who unfortunately didn’t die, because she still loves him. Damn. That must be that "hard love" everybody is talking about these days. I mean, I can understand ramming a drill into your husband’s ear because you still love him, but ramming one into your ex-husband’s ear for the same reason? That just doesn’t seem right.
And even though it seems as if her ex-husband had come to her home to make sexual demands because he wanted her to bear him a son, the real crime for me is how the dumb ass could have been stupid enough to allow himself to later fall asleep there. Falling asleep at your ex-wife's house can never be a good idea, eve
Heuschrecken ohne Ende 2007-09-27 02:50:00 The locusts are coming! No, wait. They’re already here. Or they are still here, I should say. Just when you thought that all of those evil American imperialistic McJob McGlobalizers had already sucked the life blood out of Germany and must have moved on to greener pastures down south (out east?) by now, word leaks out that US companies are continuing to invest heavily here.
According to an American Chamber of Commerce survey, a top 50 list so-to-speak, US firms are still pumping billions into Germany and directly employ over 800,000 people here, many of these actually believed to be so-called “Germans” themselves. Global Empire of Evil flagship McDonald’s employs most of these powerless, walking dead McZombies, of course, but it is closely followed by other American bloodsucking exploiteurs like Ford, ExxonMobil, IBM, Coca-Cola and Hewlett-Packard.
Many concerned German politicians now fear that these jobs are here to stay, too, most of these companies already having t
Merkel not offered a seat at the UN 2007-09-26 04:24:00 After a rousing speech in which German Chancellor Angela Merkel
openly threatened Iran with further sanctions should that country not put a lid on its nuclear program, UN dignitaries were stunned when nobody offered her a permanent place to sit in the Security Council.
“Like what is that?” asked a dumbfounded delegate from Panama. “This is her first speech here and everything and nobody even bothers to offer the lady a place to sit? Hopping around like that from one temporarily vacant seat to another is totally demeaning and degrading and ungentlemanly-like of us or something. Although it is also sort of funny, if you think about it. In a way, I mean. But I am like so ashamed.”
A representative from the Japanese delegation begged to differ, however, pointing out that the seating protocol at the United Nations has never been properly settled and that the whole arrangement is still pretty much a first come first serve kind of setup.
Although many here, the Germans included, be
Bruce Darnell refuses to go away 2007-09-25 01:41:00 Some people are destined to have more than their obligatory fifteen minutes of fame. Bruce
Darnell understands this and has acted accordingly. So be the first (not) to get your original “The Handbag Must Live” t-shirt here. And if you’re not sure you want that t-shirt just yet have a look at an exclusive collection of some of Bruce Darnell’s way coolest videos here. You can even find posters of this guy pushing friggin’ cell phones at LIDL now, too, for crying out loud.
Yup, everybody is absolutely crazy about Bruce around here these days. It's a veritable Bruce boom. And it even looks like Germany’s Next Top Model show may soon have to start looking for its next top model catwalk trainer dude because of this. Bruce is off to bigger and better things. Was, noch besser (what, better than that)?
Why not? The sky’s the limit. After all, he did turn out to be the “secret star” of Germany’s Next Top Model show and somehow managed to outshine Heidi Klum and all
German to prove America sucks once and for all 2007-09-24 02:00:00 “I used to think America
was dreadful,” says German
media artist Florian Thalhofer. “But now I’m going to actually prove just how sucky it is.” “And I’m going to tell everybody all of the awful things they think they already know about Germany,” says his American counterpart Mark Simon. “Not that anybody out there could care less or anything.”
The two touchingly naive artist types are planning to spend their own kind of biblical 40 days in the desert, traveling through their respective enemy territories on a quest for something they like to call “authenticity”. Worse still, they are actually going to film all of this nonsense and show it to others outside their close circle of friends or immediate family.
An authentically bad idea, anybody out there who has ever taken a step outside his own Dorf or cow town already knows what the two will find: Thalhofer will come to the realization that authentic Americans really are loud, pushy, superficial, overweight and Read more:sucks
Everything you always wanted to know about Klaus Wowereit but forgot to ask 2007-09-22 02:07:00 Or never thought of asking, I should say. What is it with these public people out there these days anyways? First Eva Hermann commits reality TV hara-kiri by using the N-Word tantō, then Gabriele Pauli decides to switch careers and become a standup comedienne/cabaret artist by suggesting that marriages get stamped with a seven year shelf life, and now Berlin’s party-animal-self-made-gay-man-SPD-flip-flop-I-am-bored-with-the-city-of-Berlin-now-and-want-to-be-Chancellor-instead-but-don’t-tell-anybody-just-yet mayor Klaus Wowereit has published his memoirs. Thank goodness he made it in time too because he just turned 54.
Klaus (some call him “Wowi”) has been subjecting his Berlin subjects (and others like me who just happen to live here) to annoying little tidbits about his less than fascinating life in the Bild all week long now already already already and shows absolutely no sign of slowing down at the moment. In fact, he appears to just be “warming” up. Hardy, har, Read more:Everything
, always
, wanted
Beamte bashing 2007-10-12 02:58:00 German Beamte (civil servants) rightly have a rotten image here and are viewed as belonging to a privileged class, which of course they are. Actually, calling them civil servants is really a little ambiguous. A classless society like Germany actually insists upon putting its public employees into two classes, namely ordinary employees Angestellte (bad) and Beamte (worse), and the Beamte, being officially beamtet (officially worse) don’t really serve anybody at all other than themselves maybe, and that probably not all that well, either.
The original idea was that whoever represents the state by doing official duties like issuing official documents or making official decisions should have a special kind of official employment with the state, officially. So now it is official, as is the fact that about 61% of those asked during a recent survey (3000 total, 1000 of these being Beamte themselves) do not like Beamte. This is strange because I was under the impression that Beamte m Read more:bashing
Brown shoes don't make it, Eva 2007-10-11 02:24:00 Germans just can't “talk” to one another anymore. And I don’t suppose that they will ever be able to. They are simply not souverän (confident, poised) or gelassen (even-tempered) enough. Think of two emotionally-charged Americans facing each other across the Grand Canyon of our beloved American political divide who attempt to calmly “discuss” George W. Bush. Only that Germans get hot about everything they discuss. They get this way when talking about “issues” like introducing longer store hours or having dog owners dispose of the crap their dogs produce.
And then there are the “real issues”, or the real issues which are perceived to be real issues over here. And that’s when the German sausage really hits the fan. News reading celebrity Eva Herman either very stupidly or very cleverly stuck her finger into such a real thing recently when putting “family values” and “Nazis” together in public. She was then promptly fired and then publicly executed two nig Read more:Brown
, shoes
German fisherman absolutely sure 2007-10-10 01:39:00 A fisherman
in Bavaria claims to have seen a two-meter long crocodile approach him while he was fishing from the shore of a small lake near the town of Amberg. Standing up at the sight, the fisherman startled the creature which then turned and quickly swam away, violently splashing the waters behind it with its huge, reptilian tail. Local police are taking the man’s story quite seriously as he says he is “absolutely sure” of having seen the thing. They have begun a thorough investigation of the incident and are now searching for the animal.
When interviewed later by reporters the fisherman, still clearly exited and with not a little bit of liquor on his breath, said that in all his years of fishing in Bavaria, this was only the second time he had ever seen a crocodile of this size and color. “The other ones are usually much smaller and pink with little yellow poke dots on their snouts,“ he said.
Another local fisherman warned police that this was also the same guy wh Read more:German
Even Germans tiring of Moore Mania 2007-10-09 02:38:00 That the people’s pedagogue and Mr. Politainment himself missionary man Michael Moore
“has a lot of bad qualities to flaunt… He is populist and polemical, oversimplifies everything, plays the patriot propagandist and is also fat and vain” was not really news to me. But that this could be written in German by a German and published in a “serious” German newspaper is quite shocking and revealing and news in and off itself.
Let’s face it. This guy could do no wrong over here for years on end. There was a veritable Moore Mania
breakout outbreak in this country and everybody who was anybody (and that’s practically everybody I know, by the way) proudly leafed throw his or her latest Michael Moore brochure in the U-Bahn on the way to work each morning - although I did actually catch a couple fans holding the things upside down once or twice.
But times change and people change (not) and even everybody’s favorite American Nestbeschmutzer (one who dirties his own nest) gets b Read more:Germans
Wanna bet you can’t guess what this guy’s bet was? 2007-10-08 01:53:00
And I couldn’t agree with you more. Why would you want to? But over 11 million German-speaking viewers, many of them surely not wanting to know what this guy’s bet was either, watched the Wetten, dass..? broadcast from Basel over the weekend and now do, the poor devils.
And why am I telling you this? I’m not sure, really. Other than this particular broadcast was not only the 170th broadcast of Wetten, das..? (they "air it" only once every two months or so), it was also a kind of 20th anniversary celebration of Thomas Gottschalk hosting the show, the poor devil. He tried to escape once a few years back and start a new life after Wetten, dass..?, but he didn’t get very far before they caught up with him and drugged him and brought him back and put him in captivity again.
But like I said, I’m not really sure why I am telling you this. So while I’m at it, I’m not really sure why I won’t be telling you what the guy’s bet was after all.
Ich wet
Volksarmee Mimes 2007-10-07 04:37:00
alt : http://www.youtube.com/v/JrbxDJ-DOrM
PS: Thanks for the mime link, Indeterminacy.
Green wolf very gray geworden 2007-10-06 03:04:00 Joschka Fischer, legendary rock-throwing peace activist of old (and boy do I mean old) and onetime “dazzling, currish Zero Wolf” of the German Green
s who also did some part-time work as standup world statesman caricature comic (take your pick he was both – he was a minister for something once, and it wasn’t the Methodist kind, either) has written a book. Yup, a “relatively” big one, too. With words and everything.
In it he is said to reveal many revealing things. You know, like how the Greens are even more clueless today than they were when he had anything to say about it way back when during something called the "red-green" era (they always seemed more "yellow" to me) or how his old boss the Teflon Chancellor wasn’t wirklich (really) very good at being a boss, especially when it had anything to do with questions concerning character or integrity. And Fischer is of course a highly sought after expert in these two fields, as we all know. He has also revealed that h
And Chrysler didn’t even get the house? 2007-10-05 01:29:00 All I can say is it's a sin for you to get a Mexican divorce.
Let us sing.
Down below El Paso lies Juarez
Mexico is different, like a travel folder says
Cross the Rio Grande and you will find
An old adobe house
Where you leave your past behind
One day married, next day free
Broken hearts for you and me
Takes no time, for you to get
A Mexican divorce
As I came into this lonely house last night
I looked at all my windows but I couldn't find one light
I found you on that road to Mexico
And now, my love, I beg
Please, oh, please, don't go
One day married, next day free
Broken hearts for you and me
It's a sin for you to get a Mexican divorce
Finding love takes so long
Walking out must be wrong
It's a sin for you to get a Mexican divorce
One day married, next day free
Broken hearts for you and me
It's a sin for you to get a Mexican divorce
And where the #!*?“*#! is my Benz?
Kommentare auf Deutsch? Logisch. Read more:Chrysler
American strikebreakers threaten German solidarity 2007-10-04 02:28:00 In a heroic effort to help save the Umwelt (environment) and not spend any of those less than hard earned euros sprudelnd (bubbling up) so impressively from the booming German
economy, German consumers have instinctively and spontaneously begun an open-ended strike and now steadfastly refuse to buy any of the gas guzzling and environmentally threatening German automobiles which are so wonderfully manufactured here.
Unfortunately for them, mindlessly big spending American
globalist strikebreaking punk dogs could care less about German environmental concerns and keep purchasing these way cool German automobiles at record numbers. “You want green?” asked one annoying American Porsche fan. “I got your green for you right here,” he said, tossing pockets full of American greenbacks at a baffled Porsche dealer in his neighborhood (don’t worry though, none of this money actually belonged to him).
In other words, the Germans purchased 11 percent fewer automobiles in September than
Those were the days 2007-10-03 04:27:00 Or daze is actually more like it. While lots of German party animals will be out there doing their thing this afternoon at the Brandenburg Gate, although most of them won’t be able to tell you why (German Unity Day), a considerable number of German Muffel (sourpusses, uh, like twenty percent of the population – and that at the very least, friends) have expressed their wish to have the good old Berlin Wall back again. Still, I mean, after 17 years of reunification. Or at least that’s what the results of one recent poll indicate.
And touchy-feely-maybe-the-GDR-wasn’t-so-wonderful-after-all movies like “The Woman from Checkpoint Charlie” aren’t going to change anybody’s opinion here, either. Why should they? We all believe what we want to believe in the end anyway, don’t we? No matter what, right?
You know, like the GDR was actually just a goofy and somehow niedlich (cute) little place where everybody drove around in those silly cars and never stopped helping each ot
Tempelhof’s referendum rescue? 2007-10-17 04:55:00 Ist Tempelhof doch noch zu retten? Does this airport have a chance to survive after all? It appears that if enough Berlin voters care, good old Flughafen Tempelhof might just beat the odds and be allowed to stay in operation after Berlin Brandenburg International airport opens in 2011.
Three business associations have begun a campaign to keep centrally located Tempelhof open. And who should know better than they if this airport can hold its own or not? They believe that Tempelhof should be dedicated to smaller business aircraft and regional operators which will otherwise play second fiddle to the bigger airlines at Brandenburg. The businessmen argue that Brandenburg “will not have enough capacity from day one… Tempelhof has around 200,000 movements a year, which could easily be increased to 1.5 million.”
At any rate, if 170,000 signatures in favor of a referendum can be gathered by February 14, the real referendum can be held some time next year. And should 25% then vote
Climate change is like so totally stressful dude that I need another vacation 2007-10-16 06:55:00 If Al Gore HIMSELF only knew this. It seems that despite all of the overwhelming concern about the worldwide climate change catastrophe going on this very moment as we speak and which, as we all know, is being caused primarily by the United States of America and everything that it stands for, Germans vacationers still would never think of changing their travel plans in order to play their small if nevertheless crucial part in saving the world as we know it just in the nick of time, or even earlier for that matter. Or is more like, gulp, it’s already TOO LATE and so hey, let’s go down partying?
The later would at least explain the results of a “summer vacation study” taken by the European Tourism Institute (ETI) in which we learn that 93% of those German vacationers asked see absolutely no reason to change their politically incorrect habit of flying all over the place all the time in those “bad” el cheapo carrier airplanes and not taking the “good” el cheapo trains Read more:Climate
, totally
, Climate change
Dalai Lama, Lama Duck and Co. 2007-10-15 04:26:00 Clearly envious of the way cool reaction Chancellor Angela Merkel got by ignoring Chinese warnings and being the first German Chancellor to openly welcome that treacherous Tibetan trouble-maker and no good bodhisattva of compassion incarnation the Dalai
Lama himself, President George W. Bush has decided to up the ante and become the first sitting US President to appear publicly with the inscrutable separatist revolutionary, too. Worse still, the Dalai Lama will be awarded the Congressional Gold Medal the following day, the US Congress’s highest civilian honor.
Taking place at a time of increased tension between Tibetan monks and Beijing, and we all know what unpredictable violent jerks Buddhist monks of any kind can be, much less Tibetan ones, White House aides figure that with any amount of luck this move will piss off the Chinese at least twice as bad as the Germans did, maybe even a whole lot more.
Merkel’s meeting with the Nobel Peace prize recipient (Al Gore will stop by nex
The Noory Interview 2007-10-14 10:31:00
alt : http://www.youtube.com/v/82b9x8tki3I
Gore + SETI telescope array = ? 2007-10-13 03:39:00 I just don’t get it. I just don’t get it because none of you out there seem to get it, either. There simply HAS to be a connection between Al Gore winning the Nobel Peace Prize and the firing up of that Allen Telescope Array (ATA) the evening before. You know, that huge array of telescopes specifically designed to seek out alien life? And I am not just referring to the strange “coincidence” of these two announcements being made within a few hours of each other, either. Think about it. You can bet that I sure the hell am.
As I mentioned in a previous post (and none of you out there were paying any attention then either, of course): “Has anyone ever taken the time to verify where Al Gore was on July 4, 1947, when the first ship was sighted? And don’t give me any of this he was born in 1948 crap, either. That won’t fly with me. That’s right, think about it: It’s been 60 years now since the term “flying saucer” was first coined and now this year’s coined phras
U-995 2007-10-21 03:21:00
alt : http://www.youtube.com/v/VCPZj3wPtXU
German geeks steal solar decathlon title 2007-10-20 03:16:00 As if their country’s tireless pursuit to produce a small army of elitist, preppy snobs was not tasteless enough, a team of German
students from the Technische Universität Darmstadt (insiders call them the Darmstadt Dorks) just won first place in a competition to design and build the most attractive and energy-efficient solar-powered house. This competition took place in the United States of America, of all places, on the freakin’ National Mall, for crying out loud, at Al Gore HIMSELF’s birthplace or something, so-to-speak.
Clearly blinded by all that sunlight reflecting off the solar panels, judges failed to detect just how it was that the Teutonic technicians were able to aussteche (trump) our teams (20 teams in all) and take first place right from underneath our running noses, but anybody with any sense out there knows that it could not have been done in a fair and sportsman-like manner – even though many of these students must surely also take drugs, as well.
The Ameri
Seeking illumination? 2007-10-19 03:31:00 Try looking here.
And maybe consider bringing sunglasses this time. But don’t forget to ask yourself if all of this Berlin Festival of Lights stuff really is such a bright idea. I mean, living in this new religious era of Klimatismus (Climatism) we now find ourselves living in like we do. Siehe “Ich bin Dein Gore… ” von Josef Joffe, Die Zeit, Seite 42 (Wissen). Audio hier.
Nah, just lighten up and go out there and have a brilliant time.
Sind Sie auch von den Illuminati?
Kommentare auf Deutsch? Klar. Read more:Seeking
Save “Alarm für Cobra 11”! 2007-10-18 04:17:00 American cultural hegemony has gotten so out of hand on German television these days that there is only one German-made TV series left on private television to watch during primetime: A show about autobahn cops on RTL called Alarm für Cobra
11. Now this is alarming. That this show is the one that somehow managed to survive, I mean. I have to admit that although I haven’t actually watched the program, I maintain that I don’t have to in order to know that it is totally rancid and horrible and billig (cheap) beyond belief. I’ve seen the other shows like it in the past, you see.
Certain German politicians are now so alarmed about Alarm für Cobra 11 and co.’s plight that they are suggesting the introduction of a quota for foreign (meaning American) TV series allowed to be shown in Germany. That a whole lot of American series you can watch here now are also totally rancid and horrible but teuer (expensive) doesn’t seem to bother these guys that much, they just want the Germans t
The CO2 Chancellor 2007-10-26 01:20:00 Strange, isn’t it? On the one hand she is the crusading Chancellor
against greenhouse effect continually flying around the globe to talk about saving the world’s climate, on the other hand she is unable to live up to her government’s somewhat ambitious plans to reduce CO2 emissions by 40 percent because of all of the new coal-burning power plants she plans to build. Lesser souls might tend to think that building such plants is not wirklich (really) compatible with having a serious climate protection policy, but then again lesser souls obviously don’t understand what is really going on “up there”.
The words or our fearless leaders are often veiled in ambiguity. And even when they are not, they can remain confusing all the same. Take these, for instance: "Chancellor Merkel is a strong voice of reason calling upon nations around the world to face up to the dangers and seize the opportunity to find a solution”, recently said Gore HIMSELF. "I, MYSELF, am optimistic that
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