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Tagged
2007-10-01 09:57:00
I have been tagged by Timepass to do a tag to list one fact related to my life for every letter of my middle name. My middle name is my maiden name and I don’t want to give it away and relinquish my semi-anonymous superhero second life. So, I choose BigGeek as my middle name.The three rules to be followed are:a) The rules must be mentioned in the beginning of the tag.b) You must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.c) At the end of your blog post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.B – BenignTo borrow a term from Douglas Adam’s H2G2 - I am mostly harmless. But try pushing me too hard and too far and you will unleash the unrelenting, sarcastic monster.I – IntrospectiveAnd not in the right doses. It’s good to
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Maid in India
2007-09-28 09:45:00
Rohini wrote a follow up post today, about maids and such and while I agree with her for most part, I feel coerced to put in my point of view, especially regarding cultural differences. But first to the points I totally agree with. Child labor. These children would have much horrid lives if they did not work. By working, they are getting square meals, a roof over their head, and security. I am sure there are exceptions to this, but by and large the young girls I have seen employed are just that. Playmates to a kid or light housework. They are not expected to do anything more. My mother taught our maid’s two kids and she, not wanting it for free would send them to our house to help out – watering the plants, folding the laundry. The older one (my age) has a degree in Business Management, and the younger one (a girl) works as a technician in a Pathological Lab. I agree with the political incorrectness too. That’s just plain silly. About trusting working moms, on the whole, I do fe
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A Bizzare Incident
2007-09-27 14:31:00
Last Friday or should I say early Saturday. I am not quite sure myself. But BigGeek was in his hospital bed, I was trying to sleep on the broken recliner close to him. BigGeek had a temperature that was freaking me out. The nurse came in every two hours to check his vitals, taking care not to disturb his sleep. Another patient down the hall screamed his lungs out. “Help, help. Someone please help me, help help.” I drifted in and out of sleep, not sure if the cry for help was real or imagined. Real because I could hear it loud and clear. Imagined because I could hear the faint chatter of the nurses at the nurses’ station. How could they not hear this man? I thought to myself. Surely they won’t leave him in pain. I remembered how earlier that evening, a nurse had rushed in less than 5 seconds after she heard a crash in our room when BigGeek knocked down a cup. The nurses were attentive. Could they not hear this man?It was close to midnight, I was tired, yet alert, my body must h
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To shave or not to shave
2007-09-26 10:41:00
BigGeek hasn’t shave d in a week. He has scraggly looking stubble and I can’t say I like it. It makes you look old. I plead. Really? He is truly astonished. It’s not all one color now, you know. I say. I really don’t want to point his attention to the white specks but he just made me. I thought it made me look dignified, he tries to tell me. He is looking in the bathroom mirror, admiring himself. No. I sigh. You only look that way in the mirror. Hmm. He is thinking. Do you mean to say I look the mirror image of dignified? There is no winning with this guy.He rubs his hand over his chin and tells me he thinks he looks like Steve Jobbs. You know, a cool geek not a corporate geek, he has a glint in his eye. I already have the rimless glasses, all I need are a few black turtle necks. (Ah. He conveniently forgets the shrillions!)This post is so bad, that it made me cringe. But I have promised my self to write everyday and so it shall go up. I am trying to get out of my blues, but it


Trial By Fire
2007-09-24 13:08:00
We are not quite out of it yet, but BigGeek is on the mend. He still has some fever (which truth be told is freaking me out a little, but he is on antibiotics) I am so scared that I don’t want to say anything more. BigGeek is a very, very strong guy. This happened so suddenly, that it left me struggling to cope with day-to-day issues like caring for Chip. BigGeek was scheduled for the Cath procedure (angiogram) at 9:00 am Thursday. They were going to transfer him from the local ER to the Cardiac Institute at INOVA, Fairfax at 5:30 am on Thursday. It would have been difficult for me to drive to the hospital 25 miles away in the ugly rush hour, while getting Chip ready for daycare. So I asked a friend to be there before 9.00, to meet with BigGeek and Cardiac surgeon. I really did not want him alone. But they started the procedure at 8:00, so BigGeek was all alone, but look at his indomitable spirit. I would have been shi**ing bricks if I were in his place, but he told the surgeon he w
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Living Nightmare
2007-09-23 09:15:00
BigGeek had a heart attack early Wednesday morning. He is only 33. It was obviously a huge shock and we still think it is unreal. He drove himself to the doctor and was then rushed to the ER. They found a clogged artery and they did a cardiac catheterization procedure and put a stent in him. He was discharged yesterday and is at home now.
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Your loving son, Chip
2007-09-18 09:50:00
Dearest Baba,About time we talked, you know, man-to-man. About stuff. I don’t know what’s wrong with Aie these days. She is just soooo difficult to deal with. Gets angry at the drop of a pin and puts me in a corner for minor offenses. It’s like there is a constant battle between her and me. It’s impossible to talk to her. Just take this incident yesterday. I was examining this bottle of water I found in the (may I say, dusty) laundry room. The bottle is almost full, the cap twisted open. Surely you will agree that such opportunities present themselves rarely. So, I open it, take a swig, replace the cap, go into the kitchen, open the bottle again and am about to take another drink, when I see my red truck. I wasn’t really thirsty so I set down the bottle and decide to ride the truck when Aie who is doing I-don’t-know-what by the counter turns back without looking and topples the bottle. I look at her in utter dismay. Couldn’t she be a wee bit careful? And here is the cli


New School, again
2007-09-17 08:01:00
Chip starts his first day at the new school today. He woke up crying he did not want to go there. So, not a good start. I am crossing my fingers, toes and whatever else there is to cross. I am stressed (duh). Don't think there will be much blogging done today.
Read more: School , New School

The Perfect DotMom
2007-09-14 08:37:00
So, after having tried very, v.e.r.y. hard for the past three months, to show my infallible, courageous, near perfect self, I am being tagged by Moppet’s Mom to list my own quirks. This was very difficult, believe me. I could not think of any, so had to email BigGeek who replied with this-You don’t have any. You are perfect. So enjoy your day.So, I slept on it for two days, and finally by divine destiny or heavenly providence, my quirks were revealed to me in a very lucid nightmare last night.Edited to add: Yes, these cartoons are done by me. In Powerpoint.
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The man of many quirks
2007-09-13 08:37:00
Winkie tagged Chip about his quirks. Chip is a little man but he is a man of many quirks. Some inherited from his Aie, most from his Baba. Here they are in a chronological order.The SneezeThe first thing Chip did after he was born was to sneeze. Tired and amused then, little did I know it would later turn into a habit. After every feed, Chip sneezed. Thrice. Never more, never less. Drink milk. Sneeze. Burp. Hiccup. Repeat.The (cute) Head TiltWhen Chip was about 5-6 months hold, he got into this habit of tilting his head to one side when observing something intently. Nurses, me, the reflection in the mirror.The NoseAround the same it, he developed a strange fascination for noses. People, dolls, the neighbor’s dog. He would try and bite of every nose he could lay his eyes (rather his teeth on). He would hold a stuffed doll-cum-mitt by her nose by his teeth and shake her vigorously like a cat shaking a mouse.The Nose, againHe screws up his button nose when he smiles, especially when he


This be the 50th
2007-09-12 08:36:00
This be the 50th.I can’t believe I wrote 49 posts. I had promised myself I would write something every day. Well, at least 5 times a week, 20 mins. a day (god, this sounds like the gym), and it was made a lot easier by warm comments left by those who stopped by and then stopped by again. Thank you.So I think I deserve a little post-break today. Therefore, instead of writing something of own, I am going to print something written by Marguerite Kelly. Among the many people I admire, as a parent I probably admire her the most. She writes with fortitude and compassion, so unlike other parenting gurus that point a perpetual finger at us, the parents. She also writes with grace and wisdom that is very much in paucity in this day and age. So every time I am weary dealing with the arsenic hour day after day, fighting many battles with Chip and with my own self or get muddled, not knowing which way to go, as a parent, I turn to the Mother’s Prayer.A Mother’s Prayer by Marguerite KellyHelp


Faithless
2007-09-10 14:40:00
I come from a slightly peculiar family. Well, we all do in some way or the other, don’t we? But my family is odder than most. We are quite faithless in matters of religion. By Indian standards anyway. There. It’s out in the open now. We don’t flaunt it, but we don’t hide it either. My grandmother, my father, me and thankfully BigGeek. BigGeek is a self confessed agnostic. My folks and me, we are not quite sure. We are definitely not atheists. We are not agnostic. I don’t think we are religious skeptics (though we do harbor a healthy skepticism for all religions) Heck. There is not even a real term for people like us. Because most terms apply to religions of the book, and also because nobody genuinely inquires into mainstream Hindu practices, no matter how antiquated they maybe.My earliest vivid memories of our unreligious-ness is my grandmother when I was around 3 or so. Bored in the afternoons with nothing to do, I would often ask to bathe and do a pooja of the little idols
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The Observer
2007-09-07 08:42:00
The Observer Wandering the many parks and malls,City streets and its hallsThe curious watcher looks aroundIs there no more excitement to be found?The lights and sounds are not so new,Extraordinary sights so far and fewLaments the watcher with a sighAs the evening slowly draws to nigh.Green and checkered, with frills and bows,An infant snug in halcyon reposeA baby carriage passes by,Not missing this curious watcher’s eye.A look of joy draws upon his faceAt last! Something worthy of a chaseUpon his visage a look of prideHe follows with a resolute stride.Enraptured by the face so sweetOh! Charming baby he must meetThus the watcher sets his mind,But the carriage leaves him far behind.Crestfallen he turns awayNot knowing how or what to sayA wail is heard by the passers byTaken aback by his plaintive cry.To the scene a lady rushes,Holding the watcher she gently hushes.Yet, with a pout he flings his shoeFor the watcher is no more than two.This is for Chip, who resolutely follows strollers an


Home again
2007-09-06 08:12:00
Chip is most unwell. The pooy guy threw up several times last night, has abdominal cramps.. and I have no idea why. He is usually like that when he suffers from an egg allergy. But no accidental egg ingestion yesterday. I am worried about his fluid levels, since he can't even seem to keep water in.


To the Y Chromosome
2007-09-05 07:58:00
Even as a baby Chip never was never still. A very wiggly baby, he managed to shake his head in protest at the age of 8 days and slither down because he hated the rolled up blankets his grandmother put to support his head (as a result his head always flopped to one side and has a flat spot). While I enviously saw other babies sit happily in their baby bjorns, Chip would tug at the snaps, kick in our groins and flail his arms, until we took him out and carried him in our arms where he had better access to everything around him. He wasn’t very happy with the stroller either (thank god we did not buy the pricey-fancy travel system). He would kick and whine until we took him out and later when he was a little older, would simply slither down a bit and hold the wheel by placing his foot on it. He learnt to come down the stairs using his famous tummy slide even before he learnt to crawl. He would climb on the sofa and crawl on the wide ledge of the living-room picture window before he cou


Back to the square one
2007-09-03 15:27:00
The last two days have been not-so-good. BigGeek was away at school and Friday evening, Chip’s teacher told me Chip refuses to sit in one place wants to do things on his own, is defiant. Well, he is two, I wanted to tell her. Instead I asked her what she would suggest. She just shrugged her shoulders. I was upset, instead I said I will tell him to be a bit more obedient and told her to be firm with him. But honestly, this has left a bad taste in my mouth. Not because it is an isolated incident, but it is the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back. There had been the allergy incident. Then there had been a time when I went to pick up Chip and he was burning with fever (102F) and the teacher had no idea. A couple of weeks ago, when I was picking up Chip, his room smelt of a cleaner/solvent. When I asked the teacher if it was safe for the kids to be around such a smell, she just shrugged. I asked the vice principal and she said it was fine. The smell was pretty strong and with t


Tryst with the Breastfeeding Nazis
2007-08-31 08:40:00
You can never really be prepared for things like this. 3rd day after Chip was born, BigGeek and I were required to take a class about taking care of new babies before they allowed me to go home that afternoon. As I sat on my donut cushion, surveying the windowless hospital room full of tired looking moms and dads not really wanting to sit through an hour of wisdom aimed at the slightly dense – always hold your baby while giving her a bath, lest she slip and drown. Or don’t shake your baby or drop it on its head (really, I am not making this up), don’t drink because you will be breastfeeding (what you can’t feed a good single malt to the baby? There go our plans) and suchlike. The Euro-looking instructor was a registered nurse and a certified lactation consultant and most importantly a mother herself. She dourly introduced herself as such from the head of the conference table and handed us thick folders filled with information. After the presentation, she asked if anybody had an
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Inertia
2007-08-30 08:55:00
Chip is inertial. Just like his father. He hates change. Chip doesn’t want to get out of bed in the morning, he will happily cuddle and pillow fight for an hour. Once in the shower, he doesn’t want to come out and get dressed. But once dressed he wants to get out the door that minute. Remind him of breakfast and he will come to the table but take his own time eating it and then telling his Baba (who handles his morning routine) he has to go to the potty where Baba will read a shrillion books to him until Baba runs out of patience or realizes he is late for his meeting.Once inside the car, he will not want to go to school. He sheds a tear every day when Baba waves him good bye. But one hug from his teacher and Baba is forgotten. In the evening when I go to pick him up, he is usually reading by himself, or singing with the other kids, or playing outside or doing a craft, or as I have caught him on several occasions, holding down a squirming kid (usually his Korean buddy or one of the
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Tuesday
2007-08-29 09:25:00
Last night Chip was in a lot of pain. He had a bad bout of diaper rash. He would not sit on his bum. He sat on his haunches with a frown on his face and pointed towards his bum and cried plaintively “Doongi Baoo, Doongi Baoo (my bum hurts)”. There was not much I could do except air it and distract him. We read his favorite books, made towers out of lego blocks, ate a ripe peach but the ouchie would not go away. Chip wanted to go to the park, on the swing, like we do on most evenings, but how could he with an inflamed butt? We saw some cars come in as neighbors returned home from work, saw the kids play with their skate boards, and tried to guess which neighbor was mowing his lawn. We called Baba to talk to him and ask him when he would come home, but the ouchie would not go away.Dinner time was fast approaching and I asked Chip what he wanted (A moot question, really, since dinner was ready). Chip promptly replied “Pizza.” I hesitated. Dinner was ready and junk food was usually
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Made in India, but quite badly
2007-08-28 08:52:00
BigGeek and Chip went to the India n Grocery Store on Saturday and brought back a jar of Horlicks, some frozen parathas, a packet of cumin seeds, and a small jar of asafetida. All much needed items and all very, very user unfriendly. Take the jar of asafetida, for instance. It has one of those covers that you twist to reveal a small opening from which the asafetida can be dispensed. Sounds great in theory. But the little opening has to be either carved out with a knife or you need to poke a jagged hole in the marked space. Every time I run out of asafetida I groan. Because it takes me more than five minutes to get the jar to work, not to mention the hazard of trying to poke a hole through sturdy plastic using a sharp knife with a toddler playing around. What could be a better design? Precut the hole and cover the jar with foil which can be peeled away. Is that so hard to come up with?Speaking of peel away foil covers, the Horlicks jar has it – very thoughtful indeed - but I still have


Updating Raksha Bandhan
2007-08-27 07:12:00
Raksha Bandhan is almost here. The day that celebrates the love between a brother and sister. I am inundated with offers of sending online rakhis to my brother in Mumbai. Silver rakhis. Rakis with pearls. Rakhi with free Tilak, Roli and Chawal. Rakhis with pooja thalis. Rakhis with with a box of shuddh-desi-ghee-soan-papdi. Rakhi with cards. Rakhi with flowers. Rakhi sets. Rakhi bracelets. Auspicious Rakhis (aren't they all supposed to be?) All from about $1.20-$30. And of course the online, free Rakhi e-cards. No tying required. This is what about.com says about Raksha Bandhan The chaste bond of love between a brother and a sister is one of the deepest and noblest of human emotions. 'Raksha Bandhan' or 'Rakhi' is a special occasion to celebrate this emotional bonding by tying a holy thread around the wrist. This thread, which pulsates with sisterly love and sublime sentiments, is rightly called the 'Rakhi'. It means 'a bond of protection', and Raksha Bandhan signifies that th


Chiponomics
2007-08-24 08:10:00
Chiponomics“Look. That’s real money.” Big Geek whispers. Chip isn’t impressed. He peeks at the stocky Mexican guy pulling money from his wallet and carefully counting cash to pay for the groceries. Chip is perched on the sales counter trying to swipe his “credit card” though the credit card machine. “No that paisa (money).” He grumbles. “I want Chip paisa” The credit card machine comes alive with an error, Chip signs on gleefully, holds out his hand for a receipt. “Thanks” he smiles triumphantly. The checkout girl is a cute African-American teenager who opens her eyes wide in mock surprise. “But I still have to scan these.” She scans the items swiftly and bags them. Chip gives her a shy “Hi” and grins. BigGeek pays for the groceries amidst Chip’s attempts to pay for it himself and we step out of the store.Chip has not seen cold cash. We rarely carry more than $20 in cash and for most purchases we pay with our cards, so to Chip, paying for something ess


Unchased
2007-08-22 14:15:00
I had always thought of myself as the been-there-done-that-person. So when I read this post by Usha, it made me reflect. I was a passionate twenty-something with a taste for adventure. Took a few years off after college despite the promise of well paying jobs and crossed the line into the artsy world. Jaded and a couple of years later, took a flight to the US, searching for new adventures and to go to a Grad school that had an excellent ranking in the artsy field. I was going on a mission of self-discovery, after all. Nothing was unattainable, not if I wanted it badly anyways. There were mountains to be scaled, rivers to be crossed and roads to be uncovered. Metaphorically, of course. And I had to do it on my own. No second-hand experiences for me, thank you very much. After all, the map was not the terrain. How far could I go? What would or could stop me? I was my own master. Surely, the answers to the questions of the soul could not be found in the ennui of mundane life. I shuddered


His and Hers
2007-08-21 19:57:00
When I moved in with BigGeek, I was completing my thesis, so I was home all day, save for biweekly drives to Philly. I had a tiny scholarship from the University and a couple of small grants, but they barely covered my half of the rent. True, I had moved cities, quit the job at the University - all for love (we weren't married, but engaged to be) and with BigGeek's complete and unequivocal support, I nevertheless felt guilty mooching off of him. So, I cooked gourmet meals, did the laundry, ironed his shirts, cleaned the house, shopped for groceries and ran errands. BigGeek bought in most of the moolah. Maybe it was because we were not married or maybe because I have a heightened (and sometimes misplaced) sense of justice. But I could never be like the many stay-at-home wives/fiancées who expected their husbands to help cook and clean. The division of labor was very simple.A year later I had graduated, working full time with a longer commute, we were married and I still ended up doin


Play
2007-08-20 20:49:00
It is late afternoon on a dry, windless summer day. Chip is trying to pedal his trike – he pedals a few times, but whines in frustration. "Dhakal, Dhakal" he orders me. I bend down once again and push him on his trike. He shouts in glee and we trundle down the sidewalk on our way to the little tot lot. The typically empty tot lot has a few kids today. One is a toddler; the other two are a bit older. Their parents – a pudgy woman in her late thirties with plump pasty legs and a small, dapper man with a balding head and a goatee are sharing orange juice from a bottle, absorbed in talking. They hardly glance as Chip dives with a roar in to the tire chips on the ground and picks a handful. I am watching Chip with my famous Mommy stare – chin down, eyebrows raised ever so slightly, lips pursed. He catches my eye and drops the grimy chips to the ground. "I want to bas zhopal." He hops to where the swings are. I lift him, put him in the bucket and give it a gentle push. "No, no Aie. A


Greener than thou
2007-10-12 12:42:00
I was all set to do a post today about my wonderful neighbor V and A who have been helping so much during these past few weeks. I know V and A visit here occasionally, so apologies. I’ll do a post on you guys next week. Rage before praise.Which brings me to the point of this post. Be warned, there is a rant coming up. And while I am at it, screw objectivity. Whoa. This is oddly liberating. As I was pulling into my work campus, I tuned to BBC World to know what’s going on with the world, but mostly to just amaze the security by not listening to loud hard rock for once, I caught a half-sentence. Something about Gore and the IPCC being awarded this year’s Nobel Peace Prize. This was as expected as Chip throwing a nuclear tantrum at the grocery store I suppose; with Gore’s film winning the Oscar and everything, and Climate Change the hot button topic of the century, but one, well, hopes against hope.I don’t know what tortures me more. The fact that the guy who once claimed to hav
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Our Song
2007-10-11 11:51:00
Family Room 9:30 pm or so.The room is painted in a deep wine red. Watercolors of a Parisian streetscape fill the wall on right, a huge poster of Monty Python fills the left. A black couch sits in front of the TV, a futon mattress with zillion cushions is spread under the Parisian streetscape. The TV is tuned to a music channel playing Red Hot Chilli Peppers. DotMom and BigGeek are watching TV, Chip is fast asleep besides them. BigGeek’s mother is sitting by Chip’s side, watching the shirtless guitarists on TV.DotMom (suddenly remembering): What’s our song?BigGeek: What song?DotMom: What’s our song?BigGeek: For what?DotMom: What’s our song?BigGeek: Who wants to know?DotMom: What’s our song?BigGeek: Depends on the time and place.DotMom: What’s our song?BigGeek: Depends on the mood too.DotMom: What’s our song?BigGeek: Paradigm Shift DotMom (pauses): Why do you think Paradigm Shift is our song?BigGeek: Because it has no lyricsDotMom: Why did you pick a song with no lyrics a


Awarded
2007-10-10 09:54:00
First GTN, then Moppet’s Mama sent this my way. WHOA. Wait a minute. Are you sure you got the right person? Jokes apart, I am touched by the award of course (and my first one too) but more than the award I am touched by the warm words you wrote about me. And so, small thank you notes to both of you.Thank you. You have been so very generous and charitable. Really. I admire GTN for her fortitude and her dry wit. She reminds me so much of myself sometimes. Maybe I should pay her a visit on one of my shrillion trips to CT. Moppet’s mom, I love your infectious spirit and your way with words. Very creative. Very clever. Always lifts my spirits.And so passing Da Rockin’ Award to:Kodi’s Mom : I admire her for her grace. She writes lucidly and is charmingly funny. Always reminds me of the very proper Victorian lady.Parul : I admire her for her sarcastic, over the top wit. It is never overboard, never offensive and that I feel is such a difficult balance to maintain.Sue: For her honesty.


The Dream tag
2007-10-09 13:50:00
Many moons ago, DDMom tagged me to do list of my dreams (she, I think meant the variety you have when you are asleep, not the I-dream-of-being-very-rich-and-very-thin type). With circumstances being what they were in the Kingdom of DotMom, this tag slipped from her mind, but was caught just in time before it was forgotten in the unknown abyss of her dusty, cobwebby brain. So. I am not much of a dreamer. There were complex, vivid dreams in hi-def resolution and color when I was pregnant, but since then I don’t think I have fallen into whatever stage of sleep (REM, alpha, gamma and all that dull nomenclature) one needs to dream. Or maybe it’s my hormones. Who is to know? So I am going to narrate two of my dreams – one my oldest, the prophetic sort and the other one from 2 days ago. I will also provide, for your entertainment only, since you have been awesomely great readers and such, an interpretation of the dream a la dream interpretation sites* that have slightly more sophisticat
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Tower of Babel
2007-10-09 08:54:00
“Aie, Look! It’s a bitch.” I don’t think there is a faster to grab any mother’s attention than a statement like this. Here I was on a lazy Sunday morning. Having eaten breakfast, enjoying the cappuccino delicioso made lovingly (and excruciatingly slowly) by BigGeek, reading Joel Achenbach’s achingly funny article in the Washington Post, sprawled on the couch. Ditto BigGeek on couch #2, but going through Best Buy and Circuit City flyers and Chip dear playing with his duplo blocks. “It’s a bitch, Aie” Chip is shouting excitedly, repeating himself, incase I hadn’t heard him the first time.“A bitch?” Where in the sweet God’s name did he pick this word from from? Thousand thoughts arise. School, neighbor fighting with her ex, BigGeek, not me- I don’t cuss, must tell his teacher, the TV, how can BigGeek read without a care while his 2 yr old is cussing? Chip is holding up a structure made with his blocks that suspiciously looks like a tower. “Whoa. What a nice
Read more: Tower , Babel

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