Owner: This Single Gal's New House URL:http://singlegalsnewhouse.blogspot.com Join Date: Sun, 30 Sep 2007 21:59:35 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: The trials, tribulations, and joys of owning a house as a single woman. Site statistics:Click here
On a furnace fiasco 2007-10-04 20:54:00 Tuesday night sucked swamp water. Or, natural gas, rather.I'm sitting in my living room, reading a magazine when the furnace stopped. Thinking the house had reached the thermostat's temperature, I thought nothing of it.That is...until it sounded like 14 airplanes were landing in my garage.Terrified (and also a little pissed), I went into the garage, hammer in hand, ready to hit something.That seems to be my all inclusive do-it-yourself technique -- hit it .Standing in front of the furnace, I watched the thing rattle and hum (and spark) during the next installation of the 14 plane salute.I dropped the hammer.I ran away.I turned off the furnace. Called my friend Teresa (who knows things -- she can paint) and she tried to calm me down. I refused.I called Beacon Heating and Pumbing. I called them because they offer a 24 hour service. I was done freaking out.From their television commercial, I have learned to stop freakin', I need to call Beacon.After I made the call, the furnace dude w
Wind storms 2007-10-19 01:47:00 It's 11:47 p.m. I'm tired. I just ate some ice cream. I'm shivering.Did I mention I'm tired?I spent the evening at the hospital. Everything's fine -- just annoying more than anything else.On the plus side, the hospital had warmth, TV, and a nice nurse named Ruthie who told me I was the most sane person she had seen all night.That made me warm inside.I had no warmth, I had no TV. The power was out when I got home at 6, and it just came back on about 10 minutes ago. I'm so happy I can hardly control myself.The Seattle area had its first winter storm today -- mostly rain and wind. By midwest and east coast standards, these storms are not the worst things in the world. However, they make me nervous.... I'm mildly convinced that a gigantic tree is going to blow over and fall on my head.You see, I've had a bout of bad luck. Well, a life of bad luck, actually. So many bizarrely bad luckish I couldn't begin to describe them, and recounting them isn't worth my energy (why is it so
Do you clean your bathroom regularly? 2007-10-17 19:17:00 My mother is an admitted horrible domestic -- can't cook for crap, and finds it "difficult" to clean. You know the type: packrat, lazy, blah blah.When I was a child, my family went to church regularly
. My father would peel us out of bed at 7 holy shit 30, we would climb into the backseat of my father's tan Buick Estate Wagon (oh yeah), drive the 2 miles to St. Augustin's Church, and sit together in one very small pew on the left side of the church (facing the altar) about 3/4 of the way back. We had to sit child parent child parent child because... well, we had to. And we always wanted to sit next to our mother. She wasn't as strict about all of the kneeling and praying.Every week. Kneeling and praying. Every week, I got through the hour by thinking about a boy I had a crush on.Kneeling and praying.After church, every week, we returned home to do chores. My assignment didn't vary much -- when it was nice outside, I got to wash the car(s), but most of the time, I had to clea Read more:bathroom
Greetings from Iowa! 2007-10-28 13:09:00 This place smells like dirt.No joke.And I like it.I'm here for the weekend to visit my ailing Momma (who is doing better, thanks) and help out around the house. My parents are in the process of moving, so the house is dishelved (more so than usual), I'm still struggling with back injuries (etc.) and so I'm staying in a hotel.The whole thing is slightly weird. The hotel staying thing, that is. In some ways, it's fabulous. I'm a tourist in my hometown. I'm slightly distanced from the parent visit so I am not 100% immersed into my 12 year old self (and behaviors) and at night, I can take a break and sleep in a bed.I'm a big fan of the whole enterprise.My brothers, however, are not pleased with me. Are they ever? Especially my middle brother -- for him, I can do no right. Never. Ever. I still remember him lovingly clapping as I'm carrying all of my crap to my car (by myself, mind you) on the day I officially moved out of my parents house. He, clapping, sitting on the cou Read more:Greetings
On being dumped... 2007-10-25 21:50:00 Dating sucks.I wonder: how many fucking times can I have the -- here's my most embarrassing moment story conversation? Maybe I need to make some shit up just to amuse myself. Who would know, right?I'd just like to jump into the third month of the relationship (when it's normal, as a friend said) and go from there. It's the before normal crap (the DATING) that is highly annoying, everything is volatile, insecurities are flying everywhere, and you can get dumped at the drop of a hat for no reason.I get dumped a lot.It happened again last night.Yep, it's true. The Single Gal was quasi unsingle for 2 and a half weeks. Now. Single. Again.Tra la tra la tra la.Insert image of an out of shape 30+ year old dancing naked around a maypole.Ok, don't.I do digress.Dating sucks. And getting dumped, and the preparation of the dumping is the worst. Whenever someone busts out the "we need to talk" line, you know what's coming. Gird your loins. Grab onto a pint of Ben and Jerry's, and
This old house part 2 2007-10-30 20:23:00 This is the last evening I'm in Iowa. It's been a surreal visit on a lot of levels, but pretty good, I'd say, considering the reason I came.The next time I visit my parents they may no longer live in my childhood home. I have mixed feelings about that -- part of me jumps for joy (they might be considered hoarders), and the other makes me very sad. There are so many memories in this house, leaving them makes me feel like I'm losing something in some way.And I haven't lived here in almost 20 years.Strange, huh?My parents have asked my brothers and I to go through all of the furniture, the boxes, the riff raff that my parents are not planning to take with them, and choose things to take ourselves. It's a strange thing, bargaining with my brothers about my parents' stuff, especially when they are still alive and are there to referee. It's really bizarre.My parents are buying really nice new furniture for their new place. I say, viva! live it up, you've worked too hard and t
Fireplaces 2007-11-05 23:05:00 When I bought my first house in Michigan, I wished it had a fireplace. Them cold Michigan nights would have been um less cold with a freakin' fee-ray blazing in my living room. Never mind that my friend Paul nearly killed me by smoking me out with his fireplace (the ding dong forgot to open the flue). I really wanted a fireplace.And now I have one.And I want to use it.My colleague offered to come over and check the fireplace to make sure nothing explodes if I light something in there. I'm concerned because the fireplace had a gas starter at one time which, in my mind = potential explosion. When I bought the house, the inspector said it was disabled. I should believe him, but I don't trust the inspector. HE failed to tell me my house was infested with rats.UmStrike fucking one.My colleague is busy as hell. He can't seem to get out here to help me. I'm impatient (fucking sue me), and I really want a fire. Whine whine whine.I'm really tempted to test fate and to light a fi
I'm going to hell, part 94 2007-11-04 21:37:00 I went to Iowa last weekend. Blah blah this and that and corn and pigs and...scene.While I was away, my dear pal Teresa stayed at my house and took care of my roommate. She brought her roommate, a golden retriever named Willow along with her. Teresa also brought all kinds of other things -- ice cream for dogs, dog snacks, a shit shovel, bags for leaves, work gloves, her laundry. Most of which (aside from the laundry) she donated to the Single Gal is pathetic and needs to take better care of her house / dog / self fund. So generous. In addition to the booty, Teresa started raking my leaves (I know -- don't you want her to housesit for you?) AND -- get THIS -- AND clipped Daisy's nails.A freakin' miracle. Usually it takes 4 people to pin her down. A freakin' miracle.Teresa is a miracle worker.She's named after a saint, don't you know. (Is that right, Teresa?)She did all of this generous giving despite her most likely grueling days at work... Never mind that she is a social w
A minefield, I tell you, a freakin' minefield... 2007-11-10 18:25:00 This morning my delightful colleague, Bob, came over to my house to take a look at my fireplace. He poked, he prodded, he taught me stuff about furnaces, gas crap, other stuff I can't remember, and soot. He has deemed the fireplace to be in working order.I am very excited. I light the first fire this evening, fire extinguisher in hand.Of course, I didn't have the correct fireplace props, so I went to Home Depot to buy such things. I swept, I shoveled, I de-sooted. I am psyched. I will burn tonight, baby. Burn tonight!While I was waiting for Bob to arrive, I got the brilliant idea that today was the day to rake my leaves. Afterall, it is fall, and I'm struggling to change my reputation from a lawn slacker to the shining neighbor that I aspire to be. That, with award winning perennials, six cats, and fear in small children.Oh yeah.So I'm raking. I'm bagging, I'm scooping. My dear friend Teresa hooked me up with leaf bags when she was here housesitting a few weeks ago, so Read more:freakin
The kindness? of strangers 2007-11-15 22:21:00 If you didn't see my last pathetic I want to throw myself on the logs in my fireplace dirge, my furnace died this evening. I was cold. I was grumpy. I had intended to have a productive evening of creating the greatest novel known to human kind, but my fingers got numb.I waited for nearly 3 hours, and then Beacon Plumbing and Heating came to the rescue!They came. They saw. They conquered.ANDThey didn't charge me a service call fee. ANDThey fixed my furnaceANDThey looked at/quasi fixed my horrible water pressure in the kitchen sink. For free.Yeah, I know. I was shocked. Beacon has a reputation of fucking drowning their customers in debt (ha ha -- get it -- drowning, plumbing, water, blah blah)But they didn't screw me. I'm mildly shocked. My week / month / year / life hasn't been the easiest. But they gave me a break.What the...?In addition to feeling confident that the chap did a good job, I didn't get screwed over -- I actually ENJOYED talking to the technician. The fu
Furnace fiasco part two 2007-11-15 18:02:00 My furnace is busted.It's cold in here.I'm not happy.At least I can build a fire.This has been a sucky mcsuckers week.Sigh.
Happy Thanksgiving! 2007-11-21 17:31:00 My home is sporting a new chimney cap. This pleases me. My house looks, just for a second, like an exotic homestead in the UK. Just for a second, and then you remember that you are definitely in the US there is a mobile home park down the street.I live on those sides of the tracks.I'm hosting Thanksgiving
at my home tomorrow. I love having people over, so I'm looking forward to the gathering. A few friends are coming up from Oregon, and we'll be joined by some folks who live in Seattle. Good times. I'm a bit nervous about preparing the turkey. As most of my friends know, I shouldn't really be let loose in the kitchen. Things happen. Fires happen.A few years ago, when I was living in a studio apartment near Seattle Center, I became obsessed with popcorn making. The chap I was dating? at the time and I had popcorn-offs. I was convinced my way of preparing popcorn was superior to his -- we got a little competitive (and I wonder why I'm single?). One evening, when he was doing somet Read more:Happy
Smokey the Bear 2007-11-26 20:47:00 Perhaps I should put this beautiful figurine on my mantle to remind me to um... open the flue.Okay. So, last night. Sunday night. I decided to relax in my living room, reading the newspaper, sitting in front of a roaring fire.I made the fire. It was roaring, and then it seemed a little smokey.I opened the glass doors on my fireplace and WHOOSH and I do mean WOOSH, this gigantic ball of black smoke came out and attacked me.I fell on the ground. I grasped for my fire poker, the fire alarm went off. Daisy started panicking.I poked the wood. I tried to put it out. That shit was blazing, I tell you, blazing. I ran into the kitchen, I looked at the fire extinguisher. I ran back to the fireplace. I almost died of smoke inhalation. The horror. The horror. After about 45 minutes of poking the fire and battling black smoke bombs, I realized that the flue wasn't open -- Good one.Only you can prevent... um... yeah.
So, I'm a control freak... 2007-11-25 16:56:00 It's a good thing I have a big ass hedge so I can hide behind it.Someone once told me you are harrassed more often living in a house than you are when you live in an apartment. I believe the harrassment is different -- intentional harrassment v. unintentional... In an apartment, you are harrassed by the jackasses who live above you and love to stomp around, or the morons next door who drink beer and sing lame pop songs until all hours of the morning OR by the couple who live underneath you who have sex loudly and often. Yeah, love that.Most often, you don't get the random pop in.But then you move into a house and people come over all the time. Random pop ins galore. These are people you have not invited. People selling things. Children wanting to climb your tree. Neighbors offering you power tools because your lawn looks like shit.You know, that.Often these random harrassments come at an inopportune time. And for me, any time is an inopportune time if I don't feel like talking to an
Feelin' groovy 2007-11-23 19:13:00 I'm happy to report that my turkey was not a disaster, and the first Thanksgiving at my new house was fantastic, fun, and filled with conversation, friendship, and joy.Loved it.I'm completely exhausted today. I ventured out mid-afternoon to take my dog to an off-leash park and then tried to rally to spend some more time with friends this evening who had come up from Oregon. Didn't work out so well. We're having breakfast together tomorrow morning. I find that to be a rightful compromise.I'm impressed with myself that I said I needed to relax instead of pulling my usual bullshit martyr crap and heading downtown, trudging through the evening, and being tired and pissed. It's not fun that way.I will most likely go to bed by 7. I'm not even joking. This whole Thanksgiving meal and prep really wore me out! Absolutely worth it, though. Wouldn't take it back for anything. Hard to replicate days like that.Truly. Even my friend the giraffe wants more of Deb's glazed sweet potatoes....
You learn something new every day 2007-12-03 22:03:00 Ok, so Brian Hoskins from Beacon is my current knight in shining armor. He came, he slew the furnace problem, he didn't charge me, he showed me how to slap it around if it happens again.He's a freakin' rock star.And, he donned me queen of the furnace -- he said he has never seen a furnace so bizarre -- the engineering sucks, apparently. Faulty fucking inducer valve or some shit.What to the ever...I'll just put on my crown (which, apparently was a requirement when I was being potty trained -- of course, duh)and sit in my warm house. Until the freakin' power goes out from a wind storm.Until then, you may call me Qu-a-FF... queen of the fucking furnace... thank you very much.tra la la laHope you are surviving the winter, wherever you are... Read more:learn
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Why I desire a machete... 2007-12-03 18:44:00 I wish Santa would bring me a machete for Christmas. Yes, I know this is ridiculous:1. I don't celebrate Christmas.2. It wouldn't fit in a stocking3. Santa is not real (oh, crap -- did I say that outloud?)4. Even if Santa were real, he doesn't visit single people -- don't believe me? bring it. 5. Machetes don't promote the sugar and spice and everything nice adage. I am a girl, you know.6. Where would I put it?7. Do I need a license for that?8. I am no longer a child of the corn.I don't care. I want a machete.I want to chop down my furnace.That's right folks. This is the THIRD time this year that my furnace has broken down. Thus:Do not try this at home. Trained machete user. (It's not me.) Imagine a furnace where the leaves are. See, you get it...Maybe it would be more practical to ask Santa for a freakin' furnace.
Why I am going to hell, part 950 2007-12-01 19:48:00 It snowed in Seattle today. The kind of super awesome big ass flakes kind of snow which stuck to the ground and is all wintery goodness. The view from my kitchen window...As I was frolicking around the backyard taking pictures, Daisy stood watching me in utter horror and disbelief. She said: Snow sucks. We moved out of Michigan to get away from this shit. I'm so fucking sure.Don't be fooled by her angelic demeanor. Daisy's got a swearing streak; that crazy little dog's got the devil in 'er. Screw Daisy. I love snow. However, I don't love driving in snow...As some of you may know, I was in a car accident over the summer. And, oh, last winter my car was NAILED by a dude coming down the hill. Thankfully, I wasn't in it when it was NAILED, I just got to watch it ping pong against the curbs while safely screaming from a nearby hill.This morning we had a department meeting at Elliot Bay Book Company (a good place, you should go there) and then I planned to go with a colleague back to
Daisy's misfortune 2007-11-28 19:33:00 This morning, as I was following my morning routine, I accidentally missed a step in the usual letting the dog out procedure.The usual system consists of:feed the doglet the dog outclose the dooropen the curtainswait for the dog to complete her dogly dutyopen the doorwipe the dog's pawslet dog slide on rugblah blahThis morning, I somehow got the steps out of order and, unfortunately, there was a price to pay. Daisy
paid the piper.That's right, I said:Shepaidthe piperTANGENTWhere the hell did that phrase come from? Anyone? Anyone? I think there should be a campaign to bring it back to daily speech. How cool would that be? You read it first here!Yeah, whatever.UNTANGENTSo I'm standing at the door. Futzing with the curtains, I believe, or some other random OCD task beckoning me at that moment, and Daisy made a run for the door. She was moving pretty quickly, I tried to open it in time but...SPLATshe ran into the closed glass door. At first and, oh, PETA is going to get me now, I though
i am woman hear me roar 2007-12-10 21:51:00 this is what i'm having for dinner this evening... yum yumimage courtesy of http://dclips.fundraw.com/ Read more:woman
Snow snow go away... 2007-12-09 12:38:00 Lookie here: That's right, friends. It is snowing in Seattle again. What the...? I moved out of the midwest to get away from this crap.It's making me very grumpy.Especially because I feel trapped! Trapped I tell you! Trapped like this picture I drew while in CHURCH when I was three (what does that say about me?)I feel trapped because when it snows I feel like I cannot leave my house. Well, I CAN, but I'm a little anxious about it. Perhaps it's paranoia, but crap, given my history with cars, car accidents, blah blah, one can never been too careful...My house has a driveway that is dippy, short, and slippery. If I move the car out when it's icy, there is a large chance that I might hit the hedge.Which, actually, may not be entirely too terrible. .. it needs to be put out of its misery, and may prevent me from having to chop that sucker down...
Historically, I've had some problems with Christmas lights... 2007-12-05 23:59:00 I called my parents the other day to see how they were faring after a winter storm that blew through Iowa.They were fine.My dad inquired about the status of my Christmas
lights.Are they up yet? Where did you put them?I laughed.No, Dad, I don't have lights up.You don't? When are you going to do them?Dad. You're not going to put lights up? Didn't you learn anything from your father?Yep. I learned not to do it.When I was a child, our house was one of the few in the neighborhood that didn't have Christmas lights hanging from its bushes. Every year my brothers and I would beg our parents to decorate the outside of the house.They always said no.After my brothers and I grew up and moved away, my dad started putting Christmas lights on the house. The day after Thanksgiving. Every year.I found this perplexing. Why was he doing it now? A replica of the Christmas star, guiding we three wise(wo)men home?I have to admit, after we all pray my father doesn't wipe out while standing on a hor Read more:problems
On elevators, power outages, and holiday music 2007-12-04 20:47:00 I think I died and went to hell this afternoon. Today was a karmic payback for I'm not sure what. Seems to be a continuing theme in my life. I must have really sucked in my past lives -- did some baaaad shit...I thought about calling in sick today. My sinus infection is still raging (although I am getting better, thanks), and I needed a good ole watch really bad television / sleep and drink tea sort of day.I decided to go in anyway, but begged out of a meeting later in the afternoon so I could go home early and sleep.This was the theory...The reality, however, became its own story... Dig this:I went to physical therapy. Arm, leg, nerve, back stretches, exercises, pain, car accident blah blah and that blah.I leave.I get in the elevator with two other women. They get out on P2. I needed L. The door closed. The elevator made like it was moving. The elevator stopped.The door did not open.I laughed.I pushed the appropriate buttons. I waited a minute or two. I pushed the appropr Read more:power
A mouse in the house 2007-12-20 20:38:00 The rat man came: 6:49 a.m. on Wednesday, thank you very much.The rat man saw: a decapitated mouse in one of the traps in my crawlspace.The rat man conquered?: not yet, but he's coming back. Apparently, creatures have found a new entrance to my crawlspace. I was not crazy when I heard the scratchity and the squeakity. Ya dig?In other news:The Single Gal needs to find some serious cash to buy some new windows. It's freakin' cold in here, and my gas bill last month was COMPLETELY insanely out of control expensive.Donations?Anyone?Maybe I need to start a foundation: it shall be calledth "the single gal's fund to live a life without being broke and wishing every second that some fabulous magical prince would decend from the heavens and rescue her from poverty".And it was done.www.joanndesigns.comThe sad thing is, I'm really not kidding...There's a country / gospel song in there, somewhere...
The Ratman cometh 2007-12-17 19:44:00 I called Myzzer (my rat company) today because I have had enough of my recent nightmares of rats coming and attacking me during the night. I am convinced they have returned to my crawlspace. So. I need a check up. Just to make sure.The rat man cometh. On Wednesday.Rat-Man is a creation of Leo Ortolani and staff. Image courtesy of: http://www.arezzowave.com/comicswave/ The rat man's return to my house has the potential to be...interesting. At the apex of the deratification of my house over the summer, I developed a crush on one of the rat men. He was nice, intelligent, and I hadn't been out on a date for awhile. Oh, and he was cute. That, too.One morning, when he was coming over for the post super de-ratting 2 week check up, I arose early and began to beautify myself for the arrival of the rat man. At the time, I had friends visiting who were sleeping in the guest room, so I tried to remain quiet and keep my lovely border collie-ish roommate Daisy under control. My solution to curb
Rat attack and other assorted joy 2007-12-16 19:02:00 Tis the season to be jolly...I woke up at 4 o'clock in the morning because I had to use the bathroom. As I was lying in my bed thinking -- I don't want to get up -- I can wait -- I heard this:scratchscratchscratchscratchscratchity scratch scratchetc.And then I hearand I swear to youit was a squeak.A FUCKING SQUEAKhttp://www.electric-chicken.co.uk/images/portfolio/3D/mickey.jpgNOOOOOOO! RATS RATS RATS!So I begin sweating profusely -- I'm freaking out -- partially wanting to get my tennis racket and beat the shit out of the intruder, and partially wanting to pretend this was all a very sick nightmare ...I get up -- the excitement inspired a now desperate bathroom trip -- looking to and fro for the intruder and its trail of fucking sugarplums.I bust out the flashlight. I'm sneaking around, stalking if you will, hunting the damn thing at 4 o'clock in the morning. Daisy, still lying on her bed feigning sleep...I see nothing.I sat down next to my still sleeping dog (oh, she rocks as a g Read more:attack
Dude, where's my car? 2007-12-14 16:49:00 I think I'm losing my mind.I drive a bright green car.Many have said that I'm lucky to have such a unique mobile because it's easier to find. And see. And get speeding tickets.Today after work I strolled to my car, parked some distance from my institution of employment only to find it was not where I parked it.Dude, where's my car.I strolled around a bit. I decided not to panic.I was amazed at my calm when I called the tow truck place (at this point, I had assumed I had accidentally parked in an illegal parking space but was also doubtful of this). The tow truck man was very kind. He looked through volumes of paper, computer files, asked Bill in the next room if he had seen my car.Nothing.Dude. Where's my fucking car?Um."Very Confused Mom" -- http://kazuya-akimoto.comThe tow truck man told me not to panic and that I should call the police. He said that because they didn't have it on their lot, the car was stolen.I laughed.You have GOT to be kidding me. I am a walking freakin' va
a date 2007-12-13 23:16:00 I had another first date this evening. Apparently my version of the movie 50 First Dates is with 50 different men.It was a medium date -- not good, not bad. Sadly, there is nothing more to say.I remain,The Single Gal
Some thoughts on downness downity downering 2007-12-12 21:53:00 Okay. She says with a big sigh.I'll admit it.I'm feeling a bit down.Perhaps it is because I'm still (yes, that's right folks) dealing with the car accident injuries from June -- my arm really hurts today, FYI. If there was a machete around, I don't know what I would do...Perhaps it's because several of my friends are quite ill. Like in the hospital ill...Perhaps it's because I'm burned burned burned out and desperately need a vacation.Perhaps because it's cold.Could I go on? Why, yes. I will spare you with my continual rant, gentle reader. Just insert moaning and complaining about the holidays and being single and wanting a diamond necklace and someone to help me pay my bills and walk my dog and clean the bathtub and do my laundry and deal with insurance.I watched Tales of Mere Existence: "How to Deal With Depression." And now I feel better. Maybe I need a Ford Mustang. But maybe that won't work. I like dudes.Viva holiday vivaness.hearts and candy,The Single Gal Read more:thoughts
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