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Violent 2007-11-02 05:47:29 Everytime he and I fight, he gets more violent. I have no money and no where to go. He is in the military, I’m stuck in a foreign country.
I wish he would go to Iraq, but he probably won’t. I wish he’d go, and not come back until he was in a body bag.
I wish I’d not been stupid enough to marry him. He was so nice, calm… now he throws things and yells and calls me names and pushes me.
I’m sorry I wish he were dead but I do. I would be a big weight off my shoulder. I would never have to be frightened when I hear him enter the room, ever again.
I want to pose nude 2007-11-10 16:35:58 I study art and am at the college level now. We do all mediums, including photography.
My class is mostly women and I am also. We did a series of life studies, you know, figure studies in charcoal. Models come in and pose for us. It was hard at first, but it’s pretty normal now.
The weird thing is, I secretly hope that one day the model doesn’t show? And, then they would ask if any of the students would like to stand in. My weird fantasy is that it’s me and I take off my clothes and take up my spot under the sky light completely, absolutely naked. And then my class mates would study me and stare for a very long time. I don’t know why, I’m very modest and really cover up my body normally. But I seriously want to be painted or sketched without clothes.. I’m tired of drawing other people.
I think this goes back to when I was twelve and the Titanic came out, when she posed for that drawing, I had a serious desire to have someone ask me to get na
i don’t love anyone 2007-11-09 13:02:52 i’m cold-blooded
don’t i have the ability to love somebody?
i hate myself
funny uncle 2007-11-09 00:19:59 I was always told to watch uncle fred and tell them if he ever did anything to me. He did things to me, but I liked what he did, so I never told. I guess they thought that he wouldn’t mess with a 16 year old boy.
Nicole thank you…and good bye 2007-11-07 02:22:29 You know when I was a kid everything was way easier I didt barely knew about love, I remember I wanted to be an Astronaut, a Football player, a Magician, just eat my favorite Icecream and have fun day in and day out.
I wish I could have 5 lives! Then i could have been born in five different places, and eaten five lifetime’s worth of food, and had five different careers, and…fallen in love with the same person, five times.
I am really the worst.
MOOVIN DOWN DA ROAD 2007-11-07 00:33:30 ME AND MY FAILY ARE GONNA BE MOVIN TO TEXAS END OF NEXT SUMMER AND IM SCARED BECAUSE IVE HEARD SO MUCH NEGATIVE INFO AND I DONT KNO WERE OUT THERE IS SAFE TO MOVE TO BUT WE HAVE TO MAKE THIS MOVE THIS IS THE AREA WE CAN ONLY AFFORD WHAT SHOULD I DO I DONT WANA BE AROUND ANY VIOLENCE
Untitled 2007-11-06 12:32:03 Do you still think of me,
that night
together
Do you still think of me,
the butterfly’s
in my belly
Do you still think of me,
that sweltering
kiss
Do you still think of me,
because
I
Still
Do
Read more:Untitled
A girl inlove with a woman 2007-11-15 22:31:48 Ok so heres the deal, i’m 15 and she’s 21/22.Crazy huh…
So everysince i met her, i’ve started having these strange feelings towards her, that i never felt before.
When i was 13, i started having strange feelings toward other girls and every since then i’ve tried to hide it. I was doing great, until she came into my life.
Now it’s hard for me because i really like this person and may actual be inlove, but can’t tell her because i don’t want her to think i’m some kind of an idiot. She doesn’t even know that i’m not straight, so what do you think her reaction would be if i told her i liked, liked her? it wouldn’t be good. that’s not the only problem, She’s straight. How am i suppose to hide my feelings from her when i’m always around her? Also if you know about the bible, then you’d probably know that a girl and a girl and a guy and a guy being together goes against gods word. She happens to b Read more:woman
i love her 2007-11-15 14:25:08 I love a girl so much i cant descibe. she had a breakup with her x. but she is floating and have crush on somebody else as he very gud looking. But she is closest to me and we r the ones who talk most…..i’m afraid….very afraid to ask her as i don’t want it to go the other way and even loose the friendship that i have…
i’m hurting 2007-11-15 01:54:09 i know that i was wrong to not have listened to you. i know i wasn’t there the way i should have been. i know the arguments were too much to handle. i know that you needed me physically and emotionally and i know that you are still in love with me. we can make this work if you would just trust me with your heart again. i swear i will never hurt you again. i love you too much. after all of the tears, arguments, and pain, i’m still in love with you. change doesn’t happen over night, but trust me, it does come. and i am doing this all for you.
Read more:hurting
I think I’m bisexual… don’t tell my boyfriend 2007-11-14 13:24:42 I love my boyfriend
to bits and could never imagine my life without him. We have a great sex life. However I frequently fantazise about women. I read lesbian erotica and it really turns me on.
There. I said it.
And on top of that I’m a Christian and I have lots of very Evangelical friends. If they knew how I sometimes feel about women…
Read more:think
I’m in love 2007-11-14 04:29:08 I am deeply in love with my ex girl friend. I am also a girl. I would give my life to tell her this.
scared,scared,scared 2007-11-14 02:39:49 I’m pregnant and I’m scared. I never ever wanted kids and this kid was not planned. I have not told anyone. I hate that I’m scared to tell someone. My mom will be dissappoted in me and I don’t want that. Im afraid that I’ll grow to hate this kid because I dont want him/her, but I can’t bring myself to get a abortion.
why does it hurt so much? 2007-11-20 00:40:39 my “father” was kicked out of our home when I was 11. He never spent time with us or sent us anything. He had left us 7 kids and our mom to fend for ourselves.
I had seen him 3 times since then. When I was first married (he acted like he was there all alog). Once when he visited my sister and once when he was on his death bed.
I am now 51. Why does it hurt when we went through his stuff to get it all ready to sell? Especially the photos of him and his wife, who he had an affair with before he was out of our home, going on cruises and the like wwhile we were left literally living on day old Dunkin Doughnuts that my mom would bring home from her overnight job?
She had to work so hard to raise us all.
His wife would claim that she was a brave woman for what she did. The nerve of her!
Why does this all hurt so much still?
Lost without her 2007-11-18 00:04:16 I haven’t seen her, not really, not more than a passing glimpse or work-related conversation, in two weeks. We’ve only had a few short telephone conversations and exchanged some hurried text messages. I tried to arrange a meeting sometime in the last two days, but it hasn’t worked out. Our spouses have gotten in the way.
It’s probably best that we didn’t meet, that she didn’t call. Ultimately, this is my problem. I’ve got to figure it out myself somehow.
They separated us at work, said we were spending too much time together. Since then, I haven’t been sleeping well. Nothing seems right. She said in a text that she finds work to be a lonely place without me. I find my entire life lonely without her, completely devoid of anything good or right or worthwhile–it’s meaningless. I love her. I miss her. It’s as simple and as complicated at that. I haven’t gotten over her, though I’ve been trying for years. I&rsquo
LOVE IS IN THE WAY YOU TREAT PEOPLE. 2007-11-17 17:01:35 YOUMAKE ME FEEL SOME TYPE OF WAY, I JUST CAN’T EXPLAIN IT.LIKE I FIND MYSELF SMILING FROM JUST LOOKING AT YOU. FOR SOME REASON, I’M STARTING TO FEEL LIKE ALL MY DREAMS ARE STARTING TO COME TRUE.
i hate change - warning rambling at times 2007-11-16 17:43:43 i have been with my boyfriend for nearly 7 months, and it is my longest relationship by far, but since august he has been in hong kong for a gap year. i managed to raise the money to go see him for 2 weeks, and im going in about 5 weeks
but i get irrationally scared sometimes
the past 3 months have been so hard already, and recently we nearly broke up because we kept arguing, but we solved it the day after luckily
i get scared because if these 3 months have been this hard, what about when i come home and have to be away from him for another 7/8 months - over twice the time ive struggled though to date
and i get scared that it will changed him. hes in the year group above me so im doing my last year at college - high school for american readers - living with my mum, without a job etc, hes working nearly everyday, in a foreign country with completley different cultures
im afraid that when he comes back he will be a grown up while i’ll still be a child
im afraid that he’ll out Read more:warning
It’s Still You. Still You. 2007-11-24 16:34:18 First, I wrote a letter to you on LJ for a community which has people put in letters, lists, and whatever on stuff they’ll do before they go. Here, I confess again. I love you. I’m getting sick of typing that. I actually want to say it. But hell, what if I do? What happens to us? Do you even like me? It’s painful, you know. And confusing as hell. There are times when I just want to break down and cry. Last night, I put the songs on my computer on shuffle, and all the songs that began playing reminded me of you. I almost cried. When we spend time together, I act as if there’s nothing. They tell me I shouldn’t do that. I shouldn’t, probably. Yet again, I return to that particular night when we both got drunk, when they said we kissed. Did I kiss you? Or did you kiss me? Okay. I should stop going back to that. And I should stop this. I need sleep. I’ll see you anyway tomorrow. Another day with you. Right. Let’s see if something else happens.
I Love Him (Sahey) 2007-11-23 13:52:14 We fight a lot, then we’re happy again. It’s always like that. But every time we fight, it feels like love’s gonna end completely between us at that time! and I HATE THAT! And sometimes we doubt each other! I wanna throw those doubts away but I have problems in trusting people and he wish he could trust me but because of what his ex-gf did to him, he finds it hard to trust girls! Like WTF! I just wanna be happy! We don’t call, text, chat or even go out as often as we used to! It’s like watching everything falling apart! I wanna let him go but I can’t coz I still love him so much! Feels like I’m caught in between! And I just wish I could show and tell him how much I love him and that I’m far different from his damn ex! He’s been the best thing that’s ever happened in my life and I wish he knows that! I’m not even sure if he still loves me or not. I get so ******* sad and broken just thinking about us acting this way! Coz
GG 2007-11-22 22:32:43 I love a man who is already in a relationship. I had my chances with him when he was single but I let him go. My own fault! I find it diffucult to move on. I told him yesterday that I still loved him but his response was silence as he didn’t know what to say. I blew it! :(
My work 2007-11-22 12:00:34 I hate society, my work is all about persuade people to adquire things they dont need, or that are just bad for them…
The most part of my work is against my personal values :(
Capitalism SUCKS! We are living in a time where people buy buy buy buy and trhow away all the time, this is bad for everyone, exept for the ones who make money from it (and not so much)
I just want to kill… 2007-11-22 01:13:52 [mature content]
I really wish to kill someone.
(more…)
Fraud 2007-12-01 04:34:38 I bought a whole bunch of stuff on the company credit card, include paying into my paypal with it. I thought I could create invoices to cover up the spending and I would have gotten away with it if I hadn’t been sacked for something else before the end of the month. Now I’m waiting for the axe to fall. I got a letter last week basically saying that they knew and the money has been reversed out of my paypal. I looked up the penalty and it’s 10 years for embezzelment. My husband has no idea that I’m about to go to jail and I’ve just started a new job.
Why Do I Even bother??? 2007-11-28 02:09:31 I’m inlove with an older women, she’s 20 something and i’m 14. I’ve tried so hard to impress her, and she still can’t tell that im inlove.It could be bacause, she’s not lez like i am, or maybe because I haven’t tried hard enough. I don’t know. All i know is that i’m crazy out of the world inlove with her and the one thing that really bothers me is that she doesn’t even know. Why can’t i just tell her. You know, say,”Elizabeth, I im in love with you.”
Why did i have to fall for someone older then i am, someone who isn’t like am, and someone who prbably doesn’t go for the whole bi/homosexual, because she’s a christian who follows the bible?
Suicide 2007-11-27 14:04:52 About a year ago I tried to kill myself. I felt as though nobody loved me and that my life was worthless.I was getting bad grades and was being sexually abused by my neighbor. I also ws having feelings toward the same sex, and I knew my parents would disown me if they found out.I felt like I had nothing to live for and just wanted to “checkout early”.I was already on medicines for depression and ADHD but they wernt helping so I was taken off them.But they were still in my cabinet. So on that night I took about 45 antidepressants and about 30 ADHD pills and waited to die. At about 2am my mother heard me throwing up and took me to the hospital.She didnt know exactly what I did but she knew it was bad. It was too late to pump my stomach so I was put on an IV and given charcoal to make me have diarreha. The doctor said if I would have come in an hour or so later I would have died. After 2 weeks in the ICU I was taken to a mental instutution for another 2 weeks. Since then my l Read more:Suicide
dogs 2007-12-08 03:36:45 I was the oldest of 5 kids, I hated being around them, and my parents fought all the time, I hated that also, so I grew up closer to the yard dogs than any of my siblings, I’m 62 now and still love dogs better than them.
Sizzlin-Affairs!! 2007-12-05 04:48:00 I have been with my first love for 5yrs.Since,I was 17yrs old.At 23yrs old.I had cheated on him this year 2007.One guy who was my boyfriend who I met online and the other’s too.But..I used them all for sex.I have not got caught and I told him when I left him for 2weeks that I was doing drugs(I was with my lover)So now I have to attend rehab to cover my affair.I got a DUI so I can’t drive or get a job-I have to take this to the grave but this guilt is killing me.When he say’s he love’s me.I won’t NEVER EVER tell him.I have a daughter and now..I have to think of her before my lust.I broke up with my ex online boyfriend since..I think he was fallin in love and he was or wanting more…So had to let go of him.I feel so bad and sick of my being.But I promised myself I would not cheat ever again no matter how tempting it is.His the love of my life and I have to live n learn from my mistakes and not repeat them again.
Read more:Affairs
Does he know? 2007-12-17 12:17:44 I go to work everyday and wonder if he knows. I go to bed thinking about him. I am too afraid to say something or approach him. I need to touch him.If my girlfriend found out she would leave me.
The REAL Reason Why I LIke My Job 2007-12-15 21:53:00 Well, whenever somebody hears me say that I can’t wait to go to work, they automatically assume that I enjoy working retail. I haven’t quit it yet because it is the only place where I can be myself. I like girls and I work with a girl that finds me attractive and I feel the same towards her. We share the same personality and we have both realized that we do not have to pretend to be happy when we a are not. I LOVE MY JOB!!!
Read more:Reason
i m lovin girl who is love with someone 2007-12-14 15:47:43 i m lovin girl who is love with someone but she accepts me as best friend but i dont like friendship coz i love her and i m getn jealous of that person tell me how to interact with her she calls me & i also call her but within 4 days i proposed her this is 1st time i m in love well i ll do anything for her but after doing this if she didnt get me i loose everything well i m particular about time & money so please suggest me what to do???????
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