Owner: Journey Mama URL:http://www.journeymama.com Join Date: Tue, 18 Sep 2007 18:23:11 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: My life cultivating joy and creativity with my husband, kids, and community. And laughing at myself. Like a hyena. Site statistics:Click here
Still wandering around the Land 2007-10-22 19:09:29 Because it beats packing. Actually, this was a few days ago. I have no life at this moment, other than files and boxes of things that I am sorting through. Oh, and really interesting people that drive through. Let’s talk about them later. But here are more beautiful trees!
That’s one of my favorite ones to look at. It’s really big. And the leaves are golden when the sun shines through them.
Here’s a fun path to wander down.
I’m smelling something good. We’ll head to the kitchen.
Where we find Renee making vegetarian lasagna, which is one of our favorite meals! Yippee!
Need more ice cream. 2007-10-25 11:24:38 We are moving to Sacramento in one week. It is one of the next steps on our way to India, and it feels incredible that we are actually on our way.
One week, people.
I am going to take a break, my head is doing that thing where it spins in circles. I wait for the day when I will be able to focus on creativity again, the day when boxes and phone calls and endless paperwork don’t stretch before me like a long line of buzzards, waiting to take a peck at my eyes.
That day will come soon. I will be back here on November 1st, the first day of the month during which I will be posting everyday. Poor you.
One 2007-11-01 10:04:36 Well, today is November 1st, Moving Day and also the first day of that thing people do where they post every day for the month. I don’t post every day, as you may have noticed. Some people already post every day. Good people like blackbird. But me, I thought, hey! It’ll be fun.
Little did I know.
I think this upcoming month may be one of the busiest of my life. Good busy, but crazy busy. So, we’ll see how my posting every day goes. I have the best intentions, of course.
So, today is Moving Day. And I’m still here, after an insane week of packing and sorting and purging and burning and cleaning. Do any of you clean under your couches? You really should, because then you won’t be like me and be embarrassed when people pick them up and put them in the truck and it looks like a littered beach has been left behind on your floor. A beach littered with small toys. But who has time to move their furniture?
A bunch of stuff, including all seven pieces
A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words 2007-11-05 14:08:17
Car wreck 1, originally uploaded by journeymama.
I am still feeling so thankful. When we landed we landed on the nose first and then flipped onto the passenger side. That window is where my little girl was sitting. The back window and passenger windows were shattered.
I forgot to mention that the cause of the accident was unsafe tires. My mom had recently taken the van to Big O Tires, where she requested winter tires. The man assured her that putting snow tires with studs on the back, while keeping regular tires on the front, was perfectly safe. However, everywhere that I’ve been researching this today insists that for safety, the same type of tire should be installed on both axles. As far as the guy advising my mom that what he was installing would be fine, I think it is a case of preferring what is legal, over what is safe. Since my mom was putting studded tires on her car, any employee at a large tire store such as this one should be aware of the dangers of uneven handling.
Read more:Picture
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Five 2007-11-05 09:38:46 I guess you never really know how things will turn out. One moment you are driving along, listening to your kids talk in the back, watching the snow come down, and the next minute you are skidding out and you cannot stop yourself.
Two hours from my starting point, yesterday, our car skidded out on some slush and hit the barrier to our right, which propelled us across the highway, where we flew over the median and across the lanes of oncoming traffic, plunging down a fifty-foot embankment and crashing down at the bottom. We flew. We literally left the ground and landed, fifty feet down, crushing the nose of the van and then landing on the passenger side.
And then our angels dusted themselves off and we miraculously all walked out of it.
I mean, it was crazy. There were screaming children and YaYa’s hands were bleeding, and I couldn’t get them out of their car seats, and the van was filling with the smell of gas, and we were in the snow, and I didn’t know if a
Four 2007-11-04 07:38:26 I am up at an ungodly hour, which thankfully isn’t really an ungodly hour, thanks to Daylight Savings (ending? beginning?), although I hate the fact that this means it will get darker earlier. Wow, Rae, not a futile thing at all, there, railing against the shortening days year after year.
But I have to get myself and children in the car for another road trip. So I will only say two things:
1. I hope I see a bear, or a moose.
2. I hate my passport photo. And I think it’s time for some new hair color or something, something to liven my face up a bit, because if I look like the girl in that photo, well… that’s totally not okay.
Three 2007-11-03 17:31:01 I’ve saved up a couple of memes that have landed on my lap, tags from the netherworld of the internet. Perfect for a rainy day in November. Today I think I’ll try to tackle my Five Writing Strengths, a tag from dear Charlotte.
(By the way, we are safe at my parent’s cozy house in Canada after a daunting drive yesterday. Tomorrow morning we wake up with before the sun to drive across the Rocky Mountains to my grandmother’s house.)
Except that I am not sure how well I would do at writing about my strengths. I’m better at self-deprecation. I still remember the first poem of mine that was published in highschool, and how the editors wrote, “Wittily self-deprecating,” or something like that.
Lightbulb! Strength is a strange thing. Sometimes weaknesses are our greatest strengths. So, without further ado, my Five Writing Strengths are:
1. A Flair for the Dramatic. I understand the inner workings of despair, because sometimes I lo Read more:Three
Two 2007-11-02 17:40:52 It’s true that I finally melted down yesterday, standing in the midst of the debris of my life, melted into a tear puddle on the floor.
It’s true that when my friend called, I answered my phone with the words, “You are so glad that you are not me right now.” It’s true that she replied, “Really? Because I’m pretty sure I would be glad to be anyone else in the world than me at this moment.” And then we laughed. It’s like when I was a kid and my brother and sister and I would argue over who was feeling “worser.”
It’s true that I waved goodbye to the Land yesterday, and that I did so in such a flurry of limbs and papers and financial issues that I almost forgot to blow a kiss.
But it’s also true that my Superstar Husband is the most brilliant star in my sky. It’s true that he sang love songs to me before I left, that he told me about twenty-six times to drive carefully, and that he took care of the rest of
Nine 2007-11-09 22:46:10 While Aunty Becca was here she got the kids using her camera. She’s brave like that. I thought I’d share some kid photography with you.
Here’s YaYa’s photo of me.
I look pretty happy, don’t I? It’s probably because YaYa spread her special blankie on me just minutes before she took the photo, and then she told me to say “cheese”, like all good photographers do.
Next we have a photo of Kid A’s perspective of the house.
Notice that I have my hands on my hips, like all good mothers do. Also that I have half a head.
And here is YaYa from Leafy’s perspective. This one is pretty abstract. I like the lines.
And my favorite, this one that Aunty Becca took. Me and my precious YaYa, who let me snuggle with her and her blankie.
Rae, Becca, and Abednego* 2007-11-09 00:58:18
*You know, in the fiery furnace. In the Bible. Hey, isn’t it weird that we’re matching? We totally didn’t plan that.
Eight 2007-11-08 21:20:43 Bear with me while I post the lamest post ever because I have to post today and I am empty like an empty sack of peanuts with only a few shells left. Who put the shells back in the bag anyways? That is so rude, when people do that, like people want to reach into the bottom of a bag of peanuts and think, “Woo! More peanuts!” and then realize that it’s just a shell.
But life can be disappointing that way.
However, Ketchup chips never disappoint, with their sweet salty red tartness, their delightful crunch. All you Americans who have never bitten into a Ketchup chips should wring your hands and bend your heads in sorrow. Maybe one of your Canadian friends (I hope you all have Canadian friends- if not, go find one. Now.) will take pity on you and send you a bag. Right now I am sitting at Uncle “Jesus” Matty and Aunty Lara’s house eating ketchup chips. And Aunty Lara just told Uncle Matty that he was really rude, like any good newlywed w Read more:Eight
Seven 2007-11-07 11:05:53 I am still writing my way through this. People have expressed surprise that I can write so soon after the accident, but writing is kind of my way of making sure that I am still here.
I woke up this morning at my grandmother’s house, to the call of “Breakfast is ready!” from my grandfather. It is like stepping back in time, being in this house. I’ve been longing to come back here for years, and haven’t, simply because Edmonton is a long, long way from California. But here I am now. My sister and I flew out here yesterday morning.
The kids are with their Grandma, and there is probably no other reason under heaven that I’d leave them at this point in time, but I’m always amazed by how secure they feel around their Grandpa and Grandma. The family thing is so strong.
I have so much to say, but it will have to wait. I’m going to squeeze as much time with Grandma and Grandpa as I can out of this short visit.
Read more:Seven
Six 2007-11-06 07:27:08
Casualty, originally uploaded by journeymama.
You made cup after cup of steaming hot espresso in my little house in the woods.
An untimely demise on a Canadian mountainside.
Don’t be offended… but although I’m sad, I’m glad you were the only casualty.
I will miss you.
Rest in Peace in that junkyard I left you in. (Sorry about that, but what was I supposed to do?)
Fifteen 2007-11-15 13:23:46 I missed it. The culmination of lack of rest and not having internet access at our house conspired to kill my nablopomo zeal.
The good news is that the new house is great! I’ll show pics soon. And that I’ll try to keep posting every day if I can. Now, off to Ikea.
Read more:Fifteen
Thirteen 2007-11-14 01:40:55 Squeaking in here to say that I am here. I’ve arrived. Well, just in Sacramento, I haven’t arrived in life in general, but I am so, so, so glad to be DONE DRIVING.
SO GLAD.
Read more:Thirteen
Twelve 2007-11-12 09:42:01 It starts to feel a little unrelenting, writing these posts day after day, no?
Friends, I could use your prayers today. I found myself wondering vaguely whether I should put the kids in their jammies last night, because the night before the accident I put them to sleep in their next-day clothes so that we could simply stick them in their car seats when the time came. Maybe I should not do that again. Because, you know, it may have caused the accident. (!)
I am not at all superstitious, and I think that there is an underlying anxiousness in me that I cannot even reach with my awake mind. The kind of anxiousness that would have me doing things in a different order so as to not repeat the accident. Leafy has been crying a lot when we try to put him in his car seat. I bought him a new one yesterday (since the other one was involved in an accident, and can’t be used anymore) and hopefully that will help.
Prayers of love and safety and oceans of grace will surround us as Read more:Twelve
Eleven 2007-11-11 23:18:38 Has it really been only eleven days since the beginning of November? They have been eventful, to say the least.
Tomorrow we begin our journey back down to California, to our new home in Sacramento. I can’t wait to see our house, meet it and move into the corners of it, and fill the fridge with baby carrots.
I kind of want to see my Superstar Husband, too. (ACK. I MISS HIM SO MUCH I COULD JUST LAY MY HEAD ON THE TABLE AND MOAN FOR AN HOUR AND THREE QUARTERS.)
It has been delightful, though, spending time with my mum and dad. They put up with me well, their daughter who just happens to come home and wreck their vehicle. It’s so funny, really, I feel responsible and they feel responsible (because it was their car) but really, as my dad puts it, “You just can’t even go there.” They are so incredible to me, though, so giving and warm and I have been feeling really safe recuperating here. Now it is time to go home and behave like a grownup. Read more:Eleven
Ten 2007-11-11 00:25:34 Oh, I’m sore. My sternum feels like pigeons have found a home in my ribcage and are fighting amongst themselves in there. I’m trusting that this hasn’t happened.
I found this quote in the book, Walking on Water, by Madeleine L’Engle, which I’m reading and loving right now.
“Unamuno might be describing the artist as well as the Christian as he writes, ‘Those who believe they believe in God, but without passion in the heart, without anguish of mind, without uncertainty, without doubt, and even at times without despair, believe only in the idea of God, and not in God himself.’”
These are good words to take to heart when living in a confusing and war torn world. Or after free falling in your vehicle. Or when you’re five, and trying to figure out why we were allowed to be in the accident in the first place.
All I know is this: My driving may be a little bit white-knuckled, lately, and my baby may cry whenever he g
Nineteen 2007-11-19 16:13:37 My Superstar Husband is also a chemistry genius.
Eighteen 2007-11-18 21:19:26 One thing about not having internet access is that it’s hard to know if your site goes down. Sorry about that. It’s a little embarrassing and all, that message that some of you might have seen said that I was under suspension. It’s like being sent to the principal’s office or something. I mean, like, whatever. But I guess it’s what happens when your move coincides with your hosting expiry, which coincides with your billing address being changed, which coincides with you not checking your email.
I’m playing with the camera that I’ll be using in Burkina Faso. I’ll post some of the results. And tomorrow we dip our clothes in some kind of magic solution that keeps the mosquitoes away. I didn’t know about the magic solution until a few days ago, but thank God for the magic solution because who wants malaria? I sure don’t.
Seventeen 2007-11-17 22:41:26 This month is beginning to pick up speed.
I’m getting farther along with setting up my house, and was mentioning to some friends tonight that having no internet access probably helps. I’m sure none of you know what I’m talking about. (cough cough-addiction-cough)
So, today I was sitting on my porch with my cup of coffee, attempting to knit a baby hat (the second cup of coffee, after Kid A knocked over the first one) and the yard guy was cutting the grass (he’s employed by the company that owns the house).
It was late afternoon and the sun was at that sweet angle where the whole world is suddenly cast in its best light, and the oak leaves that are scattered across our porch steps looked like Martha Stewart put them there on purpose. This neighborhood for some reason reminds us of the South, and it also reminds me a little of Detroit, and never more so than when the ice cream man comes around in his rusty black van. Like he did this afternoon. I know, you&rsqu Read more:Seventeen
Sixteen 2007-11-16 12:08:25 It’s kind of a bummer that there is no fourteen, I agree. One day our fourteen will be found stuck under one of my shoes, or in the dusty console in my car, and I’ll post it, and we’ll all be content and that itchy feeling will go away.
I’ve decided that since now I don’t qualify for a prize, I will have to give myself a prize. Hmmmm, what do I want? I KNOW! A trip to West Africa!
No, really, I’m going to Burkina Faso to do some writing, filming, and photography for LJUrban, the company that Chinua is working with here in Sacramento. The upcoming project that I’ll be writing about is just bone shakingly cool. I’m so, so excited to be a part of it, with my good friend Jessie, and my new friend Cyndy.
Seriously, I haven’t traveled out of the continent since before Chinua and I were married, back in the sleeping in hammocks on the beach on an Indian island days. I remember how for years I would grow covetous when I was driving f Read more:Sixteen
Twenty-five 2007-11-25 23:12:41 I feel a little scared that the Leafy Boy might grow up in the ten days that I am gone. I really, really don’t want that to happen. What if I come back and he’s like, four? He’s already learning about sixty-five words per day, I don’t want any extra growth happening as well.
I’m probably worried over nothing. They’ll all be fine. The dads will be fine. They may make more videos, but they’ll be fine.
Mostly, I’m ecstatic. I’m finally allowing myself to be excited about this trip and the good that is going to be happening through it. I’ll be glad when I can finally write all about it. I hope to give tidbits, even before LJUrban posts from their site, but I’m willing to concede that Nablopomo may truly be over for me. We’ll see.
In the meantime, Jessie and Cyndy and I will be boarding our flight early tomorrow morning, on our way to Paris, then Burkina Faso. The Paris part is crazy, I quite honestly never t
Twenty-four 2007-11-24 23:25:57 Sometimes having dreadlocks is interesting. When Becca and I were at the airport, an older couple were obviously fascinated with our hair and couldn’t quite believe that it wasn’t “artificial”. Even my grandmother barely believes that this is all my own hair.
Today, at the big library downtown (I think I’ll be okay in the city as long as I stick to the libraries. I went into Bed Bath and Beyond tonight to buy a travel pillow and pretty much gave myself a hernia. I am afraid of things, especially so much silicone cookware and so many digital scales…) a boy took a picture of my hair.
I was wandering by, minding my own business, and I semi-noticed him lifting his phone up and aiming it at me. Then, I heard that unmistakably loud fake shutter sound that cameras on phones have, trying to make up for the fact that they are nothing that should really be legitimately be called a camera. And then the boy (he was about fifteen or sixteen) kinda
Twenty-three 2007-11-24 01:08:37 It’s too bad that we have to hang out in our own heads so much. I kind of feel like my own experience of life would be a lot better if I didn’t have this brain of mine to deal with. But here I am with these old eyes, and this spastic motherboard that processes all that they see, and this is what I get. These are the tools I’ve been given, fidgety and twitchy as they are. Can God do anything with poor old me?
Life is good. My children are my deepest blessing, and you are right, friends, my husband is adorable. He’s funny, he’s smart, and he sings silly songs almost as often as he breathes. Our house is incredible, funny and Victorian and hilly and I love the friends who are around us and we had a wonderful Thanksgiving.
But my self is unsettled, and I haven’t found the ground underneath my feet yet. I feel like I’m tripping, I’m not sure of where the boundaries lie. I’m not sure of what I am and am not allowed to do. That sounds stupid, doesn’t it?
But for
Twenty-two 2007-11-22 21:15:37 Guess where I am right now!
I’ll give you a few hints. The search for wifi has brought me to that small room in the house with all the plumbing. Yes. I’m sitting on the pot, writing to you. We get wifi in the bathroom! Nowhere else! We had no idea, until this very evening. Oh, the Google Maps I could have searched, here in the bathroom, the thrift stores I could have found.
Happy Thanksgiving. What more can I say? We had our very good friends over and cooked a completely traditional meal. I did my first turkey, first stuffing, first gravy. Usually at the Land I’m in charge of the mashed potatoes. That’s it, because there are so many people cooking and there are people everywhere. This Thanksgiving has been sweet, good friends, good food.
But like a lot of other things lately, it is bittersweet.
I miss you, Fam Fam.
Twenty-one 2007-11-21 21:31:01 There are four days until we leave for Burkina Faso. FOUR DAYS. Can I just say that this is the craziest November that I’ve ever had? EVER EVER.
The move, the driving, the accident, the new house, the preparation for this trip. And Thanksgiving! Shopping with my kids today was probably almost as crazy as any of the aforementioned things. Basically, to maneuver around the store we needed to walk in single file. However, my children don’t understand the concept of single file. What they do seem to understand is the concept of touching everything and bouncing around in front of people’s carts, including mine, until I accidentally run them over.
I am so excited about going to Burkina Faso that I’m practically rabid with it. I’m foaming at the mouth. And now I am going home to brine a turkey. Disconnect. Hmmm.
(I really would love to have internet access at my house, if only to shelter you from any more of these five minute posts. But he
Twenty 2007-11-20 20:09:17 Okay, guys? Not giving anything away or anything, but don’t try the iPod charging thing at home. I’m just saying. Okay? Just take my word for it. And you didn’t hear it here. I just don’t want you to think that I was misleading you or anything. And I don’t want you ruining your iPods.
Right now I’m at the library. I haven’t even changed my address at the DMV yet, or even got my name on our bank account, but I HAVE A LIBRARY CARD. Which equals power. Power to be on the internet while my kids wreak havoc, cavorting among the books. Who needs a debit card when you have the library?
***
Okay, I just took a break to go and use the potty, bringing all three kids with me. When Kid A went to flush his toilet, it decided to take a break from the norm and erupt! All over the floor! And our feet! We got our sorry selves out of there, and then I had to tell the lady at the front, “Hi, nice to meet you, we’re new in town! We just
Who knows what day it even is? 2007-11-28 18:38:28 Paris.
We have been meeting with the director of the project we are working on, and all I have in my head is his accent. It is making it difficult to write in English, because I am composing my words with the understanding of someone who writes little English in mind.
En Francais, s’il vous plait.
We have mastered the Paris Metro. Yesterday it was not so good, but today, Voila! We glide from stop to stop with the greatest of ease. The subway is interesting. Let’s just say that the way the French use arrows is very different from the way we use arrows. But yesterday we were also suffering from lack of sleep. We went for 32 hours without sleep and then fell in our beds and slept for twelve hours. It’s a good way to get on the right time schedule.
Since we missed the 26th, here is a little post that I wrote on the plane:
***
Okay, we’re getting close to Paris and I’ve realized something for not quite the first time. I CANNOT sleep sitting up. I try and try,
Coming back 2007-12-08 10:33:16
You think that you won’t forget, but you do.
When you are there you feel that the red dust has crept all the way inside of you, that you will never look again at your world of wealth with the same eyes, that your ribcage holds a whole new heart.
You feel that this new music is yours forever, that the drums have found their way inside your bones, that the voices will never stop ringing, that the laughter will continue and you will always see white smiles flashing, that you will be able to bring some of this joy back.
You know that never again will you waste food or water, that a simple thing like a grocery store will always feel like a palace, that you will not forget the bad millet harvest, the fact that the well goes dry for four months a year. You will remember. You will not settle back in.
But you don’t. And you do. And quickly wealth is normal again, and you are not sitting under the shade of a tree in a village with red dust and chickens and children all around yo
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