Owner: Velveteen Mind URL:http://www.velveteenmind.com Join Date: Fri, 14 Sep 2007 21:26:35 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: Relish the Velveteen. Revel in the Threadbare. Life of a mom articulate... Mom of two toddler boys on the Mississippi Gulf Coast, writing about rebuilding a life with perspective and serious doses of humor. Revel with me! Site statistics:Click here
Because I Am Made of Time, Energy, and Focus... Just Like You 2007-09-12 15:22:25 My first post at the new eBay channel at eMoms at Home began with the admission that Goose had just eaten a piece of pink chalk while I was launching an eBay listing. As the revamped eMoms at Home was on the cusp of launching, I sat here pondering how to announce my channel, eBay Selling for eParents. While I delved into the recesses of my velveteen mind, my divided attention was drawn to Goose once again... and his purple mouth.
While he and Pants were drawing with markers (non-toxic washable markers, thank the Lord for some good sense around here), Goose decided that his looked good enough to eat. So he bit off the entire tip and apparently sucked out some of the ink. You've heard of "Pinch the Tail, Suck the Head"* for crawfish? Mah son is a good ole' Southern boy through and through, because if it's good for crawfish, it's bound to be great for art supplies.
And with that illustration of my multi-tasking prowess, I proudly Read more:Energy
, Focus
Biscuits and Beer 2007-09-11 09:32:50 I look good in BCBG Max Azria clothes. Particularly the dresses. So good, in fact (this is me, tongue in cheek), that I thought I would pack an incredibly cute one for our beach vacation with our favorite college-friends couple, Heather and Jarrod.
This dress is darling, let me tell you. It's a knee-length sleeveless number, in lightweight chartreuse material with a slight sheen that totally compliments the 1960's housewife cut, complete with two open front pockets. Almost like an apron, only smashingly darling, with a fitted waist and A-line skirt. Looks faboo with chunky Bakelite jewelry, finishing off the retro vibe quite nicely. Perfect for a patio dinner overlooking the Gulf of Mexico over drinks and good conversation about how crazy we were in college.
Someone forgot to mention to me that three toddlers would be attending this dinner.
Three little boys, ranging in age from 1-3, do not mix with easily wrinkled, easily stained dresses Read more:Biscuits
Bad-Ass Nice to be back! 2007-09-09 20:17:26 What is that smell? Good grief, the Queen left her fresh mait out the entire time I was gone?
I know Fenicle did not write "F*ck You" in nail polish on my bed! Well, at least I'll have another good story to add to my own bed's history... although it still can not rival that of Mrs. Mustard's.
And what is this scattered all over my desk? Playgroupie's rough drafts of thank you
notes for some truly hideous baby clothing, meticulously edited by my
favorite wordsmith, Dr. Bolte?
Maybe I can get Christine to use her freshly-dusted-off schmoozing skills to sweet talk Poot and Cubby's little Elliot into cleaning up this mess.
We can make a party out of it! JJ throws the best Truth or Dare parties, which would have been the best game to play while getting to know Sara rather than just drilling her over cups of coffee and cider. Really, could you be friends with a non-coffee drinker? It's a challenge, but she's so flat
Toddler for hire 2007-09-06 09:51:45 First, introductions. I'm Andi from Poot and Cubby and I'm so excited to be the last guest-poster on Megan's blog. She will be back writing here shortly - I miss her, don't you? She was the first person I didn't know in real-life to leave a really thoughtful and downright flattering comment on my blog. Since then, her blog has been on my list of must-reads. Yes, I am just that much of a sucker for flattery, plus I think she is a brilliant writer. Now, onto business - the post...
******My husband and I have been joking about my daughter, Elliot's need to "earn her keep" ever since we got her a social insurance number as a baby (we needed one to set up her education savings plan). Now that she's almost three, I think it may be time to finally put her to work. It seems a shame to let all of her marketable talents go to waste.
The idea to hire her out came after she had a wake-over (Elliot does not do sleep when she fears s
Party over here!!! 2007-09-05 05:58:36 Did you ever have someone read your diary?
I mean, really read your most private thoughts and then make you regret you ever wrote them?
I did.
I was devastated.
I was 16 and my boyfriend found my diary under my mattress. He read everything. From the crushes I had before him to the crushes I had during him….He was m.a.d.
We broke up. I threw out my diary and vowed never to write in another journal again.
I was 16. I was tortured. I was hormonal.
So what’s changed you ask?
Nothing.
I blog now. And I’m not 16 anymore. Far from it. But I’m still tortured, and still very hormonal.
And strangers read my innermost thoughts. Some comment. Some lurk.
And some ask me to guest post at their place while they are hooting it up somewhere probably more fun than here with a cute little umbrella in her drink!
Hi, I’m JJ. You can usually find me here.
Hang on a minute while I open up Megan’s windows and air out her living room. Where did she say she was keeping the goldfish fo Read more:Party
"Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind."--Rudyard Kipling 2007-09-04 13:49:43 Hi all, I'm Carrie, crazy PhD candidate non-mommy blogger, taking the Tuesday night shift for Megan while she's off reveling in time with her boys. I'm honestly honored to be here!---
The phone rang
yesterday as I was immersed–or attempting earnestly to be–in articles about Jane
Austen, trying to figure out how they all fit into my dissertation.
On the other end was a car full of guys I know, headed back from the
beach. I was surprised, startled almost, by the Snow Patrol ringtone.
Snow Patrol and Jane Austen make strange bedfellows.
“Hey, Carrie,” they asked, the phone reception fading in and out as they traveled. “We have a question for you.”
Knowing this was likely to be more professional than anything else,
I encouraged them to ask it. After being told that I was like their Who
Wants to Be A Millionaire lifeline (sheesh, no pressure…), they asked,
“So, what’s the rule with words like burnt and lit–you know, with the t
on the end of them. Read more:Words
, Kipling
, course
, mankind
Confessions of a Prolific Writer 2007-09-04 06:48:16 Hello everyone! It's me, Jennifer, from Playgroups are No Place for Children. I'm not sure if I actually belong HERE. Unlike Megan, I'm not really a writer, I merely play one on the Internet.
Megan assured me, however, that I'm an "amazing writer whom she emulates and envies." * She went on to say that she is "continually blown away by my unbelievable posts and wishes she could use fancy $5 words like me."** (That's actually $5.27 words for you Canadian readers.) This made me feel MUCH better about writing here at her site.
I should also say that Megan did say I used "foul-language" in one of her recent posts, I'm sure she meant it in a love you *mwa!* kind of way. I took her name-calling as a challenge to write an ENTIRE post sans curse words. Go me!
Since I'm here and not at my regular place, I thought this would be the perfect setting to reveal a little secret of mine. It's a risk to make this confession, Read more:Writer
, Prolific
Reminiscing 2007-09-03 07:13:20
Sara here from Suburban
Oblivion!
Posting on Megan's blog is a really big deal to
me, in an intimidating kind of way. The girl is smart, like 'uses a lot of 5
dollar words' smart. I'm pretty sure she majored in anthropological theories of
the physical universal philosophies of medicine or something. Ok, I exaggerate,
but not much. So here I am feeling like the cute but dumb girl who got invited
to the MENSA banquet because someone needed a date. I'll play along, but don't
expect me to put out tonight.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I met Megan this past winter on an online site. We really
didn't talk much beforehand, but she came highly recommended by a few other
people there, so when she said she'd be in town and wanted to meet up, I said
sure. We met at a coffee shop, and probably spent the first five minutes
doing nothing but reveling in being away
My Shining Moment (X2) 2007-09-02 09:58:22 This is my first assignment as a "guest blogger." Everyone has done such a fabulous job so far that it's made me so nervous I can't sleep! Who am I kidding.....I can always sleep!
To introduce myself a bit, my name is Emily but my blogs name is FENICLE. If you wish to know where that name came from and what exactly it is you'll have to go here and find out.
I started reading Velveteen Mind many months ago and fell instantly in love! She's a definite favorite of mine (and probably yours).
Without further stalling....here is my shining moment as a guest blogger.
***************************************************************
I've never been a girly-girl. Meaning I don't fuss much over my hair. My purse doesn't always mat Read more:Moment
, Shining
Not a shiny blogger, but working towards happy 2007-09-01 10:06:00 Hi all! It's Christine from Watch me! No, watch me!Oh,
wow. My first guest blogger gig. I've been trying to figure out how to
play this...should I be all deep and introspective and try to
demonstrate how erudite I can be? Or maybe I should go the sassy,
humorous route so that it's clear I'm really flipping
funny and hip? Then there's the edgy me...should I let that beast out
to I show you how fucking cool I am (despite the fact that I drive a
minivan)?What to do, what to DO? Must think of something Velveteen Mind blog-worthy.Hmmm.No, what I'm going to do is pretend that I'm writing for my own blog and take the enormous pressure off. Phew!--------------------------------------------------------------Last
week I was at our storage unit, paying our bill (late again). The guy
who runs the show there is pretty bitter and jaded; he's told me that
himself. The only thing he loves and can count on, he says, is his dog.
The elderly dachshund sits on what little b Read more:working
An Illustrated Guide To Exercising Fresh Mait Authori-tay. 2007-08-31 09:04:00 Hello all you other velveteen relishers out there! Yes, I'm speaking to those of you who revel in the threadbare. If threadbare is your thang, then boy, are we in the right place together or what?!? Because if you saw my bra, it would send you into reveling fits, I swear.
But onto more important things. This is Heather, Queen of Shake Shake and I'm Megan's guest poster of the day. At a recent un-playdate, *ahem* I vaguely remember Megan asking me to guest post while she was on vacation and I vaguely remember protesting that I didn't like to guest post. Come on Megan, I went on vacation myself and had no guest posters yet my blog still stands, which is a fact that is a mystery in itself.
Somehow here I am...guest posting. How did that happen?? Another question I will have to add to my Mysteries of the Universe list and deeply contemplate at another time.
For now though, let's have some fun!
I'm going to start the fu Read more:Guide
, Illustrated
, Exercising
Bed Buddies 2007-08-30 13:57:04 Hi there! I'm Mrs. Mustard from Cheeze Whiz and Mustard, blogsitting for Velveteen Mind. You may remember me from such posts as this. Or you may not know me at all. That's ok, you're about to get to know a LOT about me :)
I am at the tail end of a month long visit with my family, as we
live 2 flights away from them. A typical meal at my mom's house usually
involves conversations that most families would not have. Ever. So
while sharing a meal with my parents, step-brother Ryan and his
girlfriend Charlotte, and Tony, Ryan suddenly makes reference to his
bed (which we are using while we're here) and the action going on IN
the Bed.
Me: What? TONY! What did you talk about?
Tony: What? Like it's a secret that we have sex. We were talking while we golfed.
Me: Oh. God. Why would you talk about that?? On the GOLF COURSE!
Ryan: Well, that would be the second Mustard* girl to have sex in my bed.
Tony: Who else? O Read more:Buddies
Indignation and Defiance. A Bad Ass and a Donkey Butt. 2007-09-28 13:02:17
During the week, I usually try to stick to non-meta blogging stuff and avoid too many memes and awards. You know, just ride my high horse. ;) However, I've been having a little fun with my blog lately (as opposed to the pure torture it usually is?), posting my 100 Things milestone post and ranting about Bill Maher being a big flabby boob. I've been using words like "dildo" and "masturbation" and not thinking a thing about it. This is my home, right? I can not shave my legs or clean under the fridge all I want. Right? I'll certainly clean up if I'm expecting company, but until then, let's just relax.
I forgot that I invited some company over.
Said company poked their head in, saw the mess up in this joint, and left me a smug note on the door to let me know that they were here and did not approve of what they had seen. In fact, they told me that the "quality" of my work was not up to par Read more:Donkey
I Am a Have but I Happen to Have Not 2007-09-26 10:57:54 My husband considers himself lucky because I am not into spending money on clothing, makeup, shoes, or other material possessions. Particularly after Katrina, I am in no hurry to put our money into anything that can go *poof* and simply disappear.
Rather, I research interest rates of money market accounts online, study the bios of companies whose stock I'm interested in buying, and listen to Clark Howard on talk radio with an avid interest I used to reserve for BOP articles about Corey Haim. As much as I might like, deep down, to spend a huge chunk of cash on a new wardrobe from Saks Fifth Avenue, I just can't get all fired up about it. I can get all fired up about earning a 10% return on the cash that would buy that wardrobe, though.
This is an easy, responsible financial approach to take for me because, well, I don't really have any money. Therefore, I don't really have any temptations. Not right now, anyway.
Due to a combination of f
Silver Screen Sunday 2007-09-23 20:43:51 As I've written about previously, it takes strength to take time for yourself.
After an incredibly long week, during which I stretched myself too thin and found balls dropping all around me as I failed to fulfill an obligation or two for which I had overextended myself, I realized that my patience reserve was running low, along with my sanity. You know those days when you think you can't take it anymore and might need to run away? I had begun considering the cost of flights to New Zealand, as that seemed a satisfactory distance from my chaotic life in Mississippi.
It's all my own fault, too, but that doesn't change the fact that I was frazzled. I needed to recharge. Reorganize. And, yes, I did just get back from vacation, but as I've already explained, a vacation isn't really a vacation unless there are no kids involved.
So I dropped my kids off on the side of the road this weekend.
Fortunately, their grandmother's house was also on the s Read more:Silver
, Sunday
The Wannabee Gap Mom and Me 2007-09-22 06:34:13 Saturday Squatter Guest Post by Nell at meanwhile...
As a mother I feel like I am always comparing myself to other moms. I don't want to, it just happens. I also really like to watch people, try to figure them out, imagine what their lives are like when they're not in public. It turns out elementary school is the perfect place for these two elements to co-exist, they develop a symbiotic relationship: each one feeding off the other.
Since my daughter Matilda started kindergarten two weeks ago, I have found myself surrounded by new and interesting people and there is one mother in particular whom I find fascinating. She is like an undiscovered species. She is so strange, so completely my opposite, that I find myself compelled to speak to her every day.
In many ways, she fits the profile of a Gap mom, but not quite. It's like she's trying to be a Gap mom, like she wants everyone to think she's a Gap mom, but she's not, and she feels badly about that somehow.
Gap Mom cha
100th-ish Post. 100 Things. Sex, Drugs, and Satan Detectors. 2007-09-21 11:04:44 There's a party in my blog! So yummy! So yummy! (That's right, I am insistent that Yo Gabba Gabba! is a rockin' show for the drunk toddler in you. Do you still dare to defy me on this?)
Happy 100th post to me! Or 101st post, but whatever. Blogging Rules state that I am now obliged to post 100 things about me that you didn't know, didn't want to know, could care less about, and will probably skip with the hope that I'll stop posting about Bill Maher, boobs, and get back to regular posting soon. Well, first of all, don't tell me what to do, and second of all, I'm not posting tomorrow, either. Nope, it's the first day of my Saturday Squatters and I've got one of my favorite bloggers lined up, so you and Bill Maher can both suck it. ;)
Do you like how I make it to 100 posts and start talking serious smack to my loyal readers? And then my loyal readers mutter, "Start talking smack? She's got to be kidding.&q Read more:Drugs
, Satan
BOOBs Podcast! BOOBs talk about Bill Maher NOW! 2007-09-19 19:50:00
What are you doing here?
Tune in! Call in! Blathering of Outrageous Bitches on BlogTalkRadio is on right now! Whip 'em out and show us whatcha got!8pm Central TonightCall in 646-716-7841
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *This post totally doesn't count as my 100th post, as I intended to delete it as soon as the radio show was over-- I'm going to go ahead and leave it up, though, in case anyone wants to comment on the podcast or catch it in the archives.
Thanks to our fantastic callers! You made the show for us! How great was it that our first caller was a guy?
Read more:Podcast
, Maher
Temporarily Me Over There 2007-09-19 11:16:18 This is my 99th post. That means tomorrow is the big 100th post and the obligatory 100 Things About Me post. Are you excited? What? Not so much? Come on! Aren't you dying for 100 secrets about me that you may not have known?!
How about this... I'll give you until the end of the day today to send in any requests for secrets to be revealed about me in my 100 Things post. If I don't receive any requests for juicy tidbits of threadbare goodness (or badness, as it were), then you'll end up with lots of info about my favorite colors and television shows. Yawn, right? My ability to deliver the dirt now lies in your hands.
Until then, I've decided to smear some of my dirt onto temporarily me today as a guest blogger. I needed to give my old blog here some time to rest before I loaded it down with the 100th post.
As a temptation to click over there and check out temporarily me, I included a link to a video of me si Read more:Temporarily
Bill Maher meets Suburban Oblivion. Masturbation vs. Breastfeeding. Let's whip 'em out. 2007-09-16 22:00:00 Bill Maher
likened breastfeeding in public to masturbating in public.
Then Sara at SuburbanOblivion
ate his head. But not before she kicked him in the balls.
This was supposed to be a simple post to redirect you to Sara's post of Bill Maher
- Applebee's Nurse-in and Lactivism Are a Waste of Time, Breastfeed in Private.
I wanted to add a funny picture of a giant woman eating a cowering man. Somewhere along the line in my Google searches, I became a lot more interested in the story, though.
As I mentioned in Sara's comments, if someone as intelligent as Bill Maher could display such verbal diarrhea of ignorance, imagine what the Lowest Common Denominator out there must think of breastfeeding in public. I'm at a loss for words.
But I'll get over that.
I couldn't put this (I'll be gracious here) lapse in judgment on Bill Maher's part into words better than Sara, so I'll stick to my original plan of redirecting you to her brilliant post.& Read more:Masturbation
Marco? Polo! Find me... 2007-10-02 11:23:09 You. Me. We need to talk. Ssshhhhhh! Not here. Quick, follow me...
I'm spreading secrets over at TopBlogMag this week. Think you know me? According to your responses to my 100 Things, I'm thinking not anymore. Consider this a dare from the "non-voting virgin ballerina" to Catch Me If You Can.
Had enough secrets from me to last a while? I have one more hideout that I'll let you in on today...
The Queen of Spain and I had an illicit tryst late last night.
She let me try on her crown and then rode off on her Harley without saying good-bye. This all may or may not have involved George Clooney. It is entirely possible that I just wanted to use this picture.
Help ease my "morning after" hangover and hang out with me at her pad today. I don't know when she'll be back, so we'll have to make this quick!
*By the way, I know it's a cheap trick to keep dragging you all over the internet w Read more:Marco
BOSSY is the new Dooce. 2007-09-30 23:10:25 Ever played Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon? Well, we're going to play Two Degrees of Dooce. Yep, that's right, I'm going to connect myself to Dooce in two degrees. Here we go:
Megan loves Bossy.Bossy loves Dooce.The end.
Impressed, right?
Wait, did you not know that Bossy loves Dooce? In fact, there is a movie about it. It's fabulous, sure to win some kind of blog award this year. Watch it right now. Bossy Loves Dooce. The Movie.
So Bossy was looking for some well-deserved Dooce love. I don't know if she ever got it, but I offered her some Megan Love, which I affectionately refer to as Mooce Love. But Bossy deserves better than a little Mooce Love in Bossy's comments.
If you aren't reading Bossy, you should. Right now. I've been hooked on her since the first time I stumbled into her site. Now I hope with each new Bossy post that Bossy might some day think of Megan when she mentions her readers
Nine Circles of Blogging Buzz... Don't say I didn't warn you. 2007-10-13 19:54:29 Before I went to college, my dad gave me this piece of advice:"There will always be someone somewhere doing something... and they'll want you to do it with them." His
point was that there will always be something fun to do, and it will
seem like everyone is always doing something other than studying, but
if I try to keep up with everyone and do everything, I'll flat out flunk out. People generally don't advertise when they are doing their real work.
I remember an episode of "The Cosby Show" when Vanessa was having
trouble with her grades. She had been studying with her friend Janet
at the Huxtable house, but after the friend would go home, Vanessa
would consider her studying done. Little did she realize that Janet
would then go home and do her real studying there. Her friend was
keeping up her good grades and Vanessa couldn't understand how it was
possible, given that they were studying the same amount. Wrong,
Vanessa.
Read more:Blogging
Praise Jebus! 2007-10-12 14:58:17 Good grief. When I go down, I go down hard. Didja think I was dead? You did, huh?
That little bit of food poisoning seemed to magically manifest itself in every single member of my family by the end of the week, so you can imagine how far I was from being able to post or even look at the computer for a while there. That, combined with Maguire starting a new job, and, well, it was a miracle that I remembered to breathe.
This is what I looked like:
Not pretty. (by the way, that is the absolute most photoshopping-ish skillz my program is capable of... pathetic, I know.)
Fortunately, we are all on the upswing and I am rarin' to go! I have so much to catch up on, but I'm ready for it. Lots to tell ya'll about, lots to share, lots to do. Once again, I'll be Squatting here myself on Saturday, as I figured a guest blogger would be sort of silly when I am finally able to post again. Just fun stuff this weekend and Read more:Praise
Thar She Blows! No to Squatting, Yes to Delurking. 2007-10-06 17:29:22
If you are looking for the Saturday Squatter for today, she's not here.
I forgot about Saturday Squatters this week because I've spent the last 24+ hours squatting in front of the toilet.
Food poisoning. It blows.
Literally.
Saturday Squatters will be back next week and may very well begin to pick up every Saturday, instead of every other. Want to Squat with the Thread-Bear? Just drop me a note and tell me you are ready to pop a squat. ;) If you've already sent me a note about it, hang in there because I'm about to send out some dates for you. About time, right? Yeah yeah.
************
Speaking of dropping me a note, I'm watching all of you lurkers out there and your time has come.
I get comments every now and then from readers that say something along the lines of, "I've always wanted to leave a comment but I didn't know what to say..." Why not use this down time to sneak in your first comment h
Mom, Look at My Face: Relearning how to play. 2007-10-04 10:56:38 I have forgotten how to play. Really play. With my kids.
I am sort of like a toddler participating in parallel play. I can sort of play near my kids, alongside my kids, but when it comes to fully throwing myself into a game with them, I soon realize that my mind has begun to wander.
Then I hear this from Pants:"Mom. Look at my face."This well-worn phrase means, "I've been either talking to you or trying to get your attention and you've been staring off into space. I'll only trust that you are listening if I can see it in your eyes. Now look at me."
If the walls of my home office could talk, their first words would be, "Mom, look at my face." That phrase has been uttered in this room far too often.
Ashamed of myself? Yeah, that would be an understatement.
When I was little, my brother and I could inhabit imaginary worlds of play like no other kids on the block. Our ability to suspend
Chocolate and Tae Bo: Mommy of the Year nomination nods continue. 2007-10-17 09:55:02 When are those Mommy
of the Year Awards? I have another letter of recommendation to support my nomination.
Pants crawled into bed with us around 3am last night. This is a new habit of his, one that I have been unable to break. I've been unable to break it largely because I haven't tried. At all. Look, at 3am I would let a Gila monster crawl into bed with me; I'm too tired to fight it. But that's not my nomination support. No, it gets much better.
Sometime around 6:30 or so this morning, I vaguely remember Pants waking up and saying he wanted to go into the living room. I vaguely remember thinking I had better wake up and go with my three year old. I vaguely remember convincing him to wait for me for a little while longer. And I vaguely remember giving into his statement that he was really leaving this time, muttering, "I'll be right there..." and then closing my eyes for just one more minute. I was up pr Read more:Chocolate
Not-so-Hostile Takeover of TopBlogMag Begins 2007-10-14 23:51:03 I just referred to myself as He-Man over on TopBlogMag. Why, you ask? Because...
I have the power!
Except it's not by the power of Grayskull, but rather by the power of Heather from Running in Wellies, TopBlogMag's founder and amazing former editor...
That's right, folks, I'm the new owner and editor of TopBlogMag. Lock, stock, and two smoking barrels.
Scary, isn't it?
And because I can never leave well enough alone, I have a lot of changes in mind. Heather has done a wonderful job, but I just can't help myself. Must tweak. This week's issue is definitely one of transition, as I am putting out the call for a little brainstorming action. Come over and lend me some of your brainpower, won't you?
TopBlogMag is a magazine written by you. Now it's time for it to be a magazine designed by you, as well. From the content to the site design. In fact, I'll let you be He-Man. You can have the swor Read more:Hostile
, Takeover
smooshin' the moosh 2007-10-23 09:51:55
I'm hiding over at moosh in indy today.
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