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Mike Rowe, look here: The Queen is requesting your attention.
2007-10-22 10:37:52
This Mike Rowe. This is the Discovery Channel, where they feature Mike Rowe in virtually every frickin' show. This is the Queen of Shake-Shake. This is the Queen of Shake-Shake's blog, where she features Mike Rowe in virtually every frickin' post. This is the Queen of Shake-Shake's current topic on which she is the #1 authority. This is the topic of which the Queen of Shake-Shake would like to be the #1 authority. She'd like to do this so that maybe some peon over at the Discovery Channel will stumble across her odes to Mike Rowe while they are Googling, say, who is covering the 150th Dirty Job Extravaganza, which airs October 23 from 9-11 pm ET and then point Mike in her direction.  To celebrate Mike's 150th dirty job, the Discovery Channel is airing an all-day marathon of Dirty Jobs episodes.   This is a good time to be Googling Dirty Jobs. I know you Discovery Channel employees are out there in Google land, looking for Mike Rowe b
Read more: attention

Just a Boy
2007-10-27 20:14:13
This Saturday Squatter guest post is brought to you by Mamma of Mamma Loves... Finally, he was no longer a freshman. Though he could probably still pass for an eighth grader, he had survived his freshman year and was looking forward to this school year when he would eventually get his driver's license...and a car. It would still be a while before he shaved, or be taller than most of the girls, but he was no longer a freshman. He planned to spend the summer mowing lawns. A great workout and a good tan all while making money. She was new. Just moved here from somewhere "up north." She didn't look like most of the girls in school. She was tall, she had long dark hair and she didn't wear any makeup. She didn't know anyone having moved there in the middle of the summer. She was desperate to have someone her own age to talk to...someone other than her sister that is. Did they meet that summer? Did he mow her yard? Was it his friend who had the business? Did he just tag alo


Hierarchy of Suffering. Who wins?
2007-10-25 10:25:44
Suburban Oblivion recently complained that her two year old had been replaced by demon spawn.  She welcomed any interest in buying him on eBay.  As luck would have it, someone took her up on the offer.  Someone that apparently can not have children.  Sara responded with an exercise in gratitude, expressing that it sometimes takes getting bitch-slapped in the comments to remember how good you have it.  What followed was a discussion in Suburban Oblivion's comments that touched on a topic that I take very personally.  The topic of gratitude and our right to be ungrateful some days.  This is something that I've been meaning to write about for some time, but always back down.  Sara is a great fire-starter, so here goes. In response to Sara's post on gratitude, CharmingBitch said that "some days off-handed comments about selling children hurt worse than other days. Just like most days with your kids are great but some suck..." 
Read more: Hierarchy , Suffering

All that work and I don't get to be in the picture?
2007-10-31 05:00:00
Peek-a-Booooooooo!.... Two days before this 1919 photograph was taken of World War I R.A.F. Airmen, fellow airman Freddy Jackson, an air mechanic, was killed in an accident involving an airplane propeller.  The group squadron photo was taken the day of his funeral... Looks like Freddy was sticking around for the group photo op.   See him in the back row, four guys from the left? His fellow airmen easily recognized him immediately upon seeing the photograph. Ghosts love a Kodak moment just as much as the rest of us. Happy Halloween, ya'll!  


One More Day til Halloween
2007-10-30 08:21:17
from a simple apology by Mark Gleim
Read more: Halloween

GoBloMeMoFo 2007!
2007-11-05 11:40:19
Save the Bunny.  Save the Blog. GoBloMeMoFo 2007! The lazy blogger's response to NaBloPoMo. ************ The response to my call for guest bloggers for GoBloMeMoFo* has been great so far, but there is always room for more!  Not convinced, yet?  Still think you can go all NaBloPoMo on your own and don't want to play with us?   Your refusal to guest mini-blog at Velveteen Mind could cost a bunny its, well, see for yourself...        Do the right thing.  Guest post here during the month of November.  No way in hell I can NaBloPoMo by myself.  But together, we can... Save the Bunny.  Save the Blog. Brief recap of the full guidelines (ha.  "guidelines" is tongue-in-cheek, I promise): Any blogger. Any content. Any length. Any time. You'll get a non-PETA-friendly button (take as many as you want from the button page!) and a spot on my GoBloMeMoFo page.  I'll also cross-po


NaBloPoMo is Beyond Me. Guest Mini-Bloggers, anyone?
2007-11-04 05:17:00
See that badge?  The one up there that has been taunting me on other people's sites, promising to be so much fun and make me uber-popular?  I finally caved. Except this time, I know there is no way in hell I'll be able to do it.  You see, the rules for National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo) more or less state that you just have to post every day for the month of November.  That's it.  So simple, I'll surely be able to screw it up. We all know there is no way I can post every single friggin' day for a month.  Not to mention that I'm going to New York City in a couple of weeks.  Aaaaaawwwwww, yeah, suckas!   Without the kids.  Or the husband.  I am magic!  But I digress... into every mother's dream... Damn that cat.  Okay, I'm back. Here's where you come in:  Want to play NaBloPoMo but don't think you can keep up, either?  You can play here! Since there is no way I can do the eve
Read more: Guest

A Sense of Home
2007-11-03 12:32:42
Squatter Guest Post by Natalie from The Mommy Chronicles ********************** What is a home? Is it the place you lay your weary head? Is it a place filled with memories? Is it a region, and not an actual abode? Do you feel like you are home when you enter your house at night? I feel like that some days, too. But not today. Today I feel like a wanderer, a Nomad. When I say today, I mean this general time frame. As in this month year decade. Anybody who knows me knows that I’m suffering from stability withdrawal. I have recently become a single mother and I’m a lifelong apartment dweller. For those who may feel disconnected from the whole lease/rental situation, I have compiled an actual list of things I had to initial before my new home was officially mine. 18. Environmental Indemnification: To the fullest extent allowed bylaw (I didn’t miss a space, they did), Resident acknowledges that certain materials containing potent
Read more: Sense

This looks just about right.
2007-11-02 10:00:00
And now, because I am still too busy juggling all those damn balls and can't seem to sit down long enough to write a real post...  I present to you, a gem I found while procrastinating (and, yes, not actually writing anything).  Enjoy. Have I ever mentioned the time I met John Cusack?  Yeah, I thought so.  Well, just wanted to mention it again.  I met John Cusack.  I think he still thinks about me.


BOOBs Need Friends, Too
2007-11-01 17:43:03
Apparently it is sometimes hard to make friends as an adult.  Particularly for moms that are locked in the castle mostly of the stay-at-home variety. I wouldn't know.  I have so many friends that I'll be too busy to be part of the BOOBs BlogTalkRadio podcast tonight about the art and science of making friends as a dragged down grown-up mama. I know you'll miss me, but you'll have Playgroupie, the Queen, and one hot bible salesman to keep you entertained. I am quite sure there will be some fierce playgroup-bashing going on.  Love 'em?  Hate 'em?  Speak up! Me?  I'll be chillaxin with all my kids husband parents grown mommy friends.  Either that, or I'll be working on paying the bills.  Take your pick. I will try to listen live and call in if I have anything brilliant to add. You call in, too!  You can talk to Nell, which is the main reason I'll probably call in myself! The BOOB on Blog Talk Radio! Live!  Tonight at 8pm
Read more: Friends

What's In A Name
2007-11-09 21:51:03
Guest Post by Maureen from I'd Rather Be Blogging... When Megan asked for guest-posters, I was sure I wouldn't be up to the task.  I mean, I've never done this before.  Heck, I have a hard enough time trying to come up with something un-stupid for my own blog, never mind for someone else's. Oh bugger, what if I drove away her loyal readers with some trite diatribe that no one found interesting, informative, or funny? What if I included words like "trite" or "diatribe" that made me sound like a pompous twit? What if I was so bad, I would forever risk being refused entrance into the Bloggers Secret Society? (What, there IS no Bloggers Secret Society?  Oh, sure there isn't...) Then I realized that I really wanted to squat over here not only because Velveteen Mind is one of my favorite blogs to visit every day, but that Megan and my daughter share the same name (well, it's Daughter's middle name, actually).  How could I say no


The Best Laid Plans
2007-11-08 21:44:53
I am pissed.  At myself.  I can't post anything eloquent tonight, so if you are looking for velveteen, move along.  This is some threadbare. The best laid plans... That's a line I just wrote on a post over at my eMoms at Home channel, eBay Selling for eParents.  People, I am nothing if not full of plans. I am also full of sh*t. I had a beautiful post for today, loaded with pictures from my Mary garden, which I finally finished last weekend.  Unfortunately, I am not in the mood to write about flowers or mothers of saviors. Have you noticed that I've been a little scattered lately?  Lost my focus?  Stretched too thin? Yeah, ya think? Maguire is working 7 days a week, 12 hour weekdays and 8 hour weekends.  The holidays are coming and I am swamped under eBay work that is yet to be finished.  Hell, yet to be started.  Pants's school seems to have some kind of activity every week for which I have to deliver the equivalent of a Ros


Why NaBloPoMo Scares Me
2007-11-07 16:36:33
Guest Post by ~JJ from Gaining Balance! One reason. I can’t commit. To much. Well, I’ve committed myself to my husband and my daughter but that pretty much spreads me as thin as I could possibly get. I can’t do much more than that. And it’s the first commitment I have ever made. And stuck to. So far. Wish me luck. So you see, NaBloPoMo or as we like to affectionately call it here in these ‘rebellious’ parts GoBloMeMoFo, scares the living shit outta me. I blog to release some stress in my life. I blog to vent and get some crap off my chest. I have also learned in these few, short years that I blog to connect. With others, like me. And of course, I have connected in the name of NaBloPoMo. As the “bad seeds” of the blog world. The rebels. The non-committers. And I love it.  However,  I couldn’t possibly join in on the daily commitment of blog posting at my place. Which is why I have agreed to help the Velveteen out. This commitment seems to


Vote Fussy in '07!
2007-11-06 13:11:23
I'm thrilled to be the first to keep the bunny from meeting such an unfortunate demise! OK, guest squatters, you're up next. I have set the bar way low for y'all. No where to go but up. I'm here, shamelessly, for votes.  What?  You haven't been hit by my brilliant marketing campaign yet?  Sheesh! My little blog, Fussypants, is a finalist for Best New Blog. One of my 5 readers must have been a judge. Oh, you want to go vote? Sure, go ahead, I'll wait. ~whistles, twiddles thumbs.~ My desperate call for votes all began with the help of my homeboy, The Donald. (I could so win in Worst-Photoshopped-Blog category!) I offered up some eye candy! I went to the ends of the earth to find more votes. Jack Bauer made threatening calls on behalf of Fussypants. I explained that it will not be pretty if I lose!   So, how is my little blog doing in the polls? It ain't pretty, y'all. I have a whopping 5% of the vote. I am now in the De


I Hope I Heart NY
2007-11-14 22:05:04
That's it.  I'm out. I'll be in New York City until Monday.  Thank you all for your lovely comments the last couple of days.  Some of you have been quite revealing and I love that.   I'll get back to you all once I get back from living the high life as a swinging single in the city. That sounds dorky even to me. Do me a favor and be sure to check in on my GoBloMeMoFo bloggers while I'm away.  If you haven't already, scroll down and check out their latest posts, as well. I'm scheduling posts to publish themselves while I'm gone, but if they don't go through for some reason, then GoBloMeMoFo, indeed. I hope to return being able to sport one of these: In the meantime, I heart you!  Have fun without me! *I think I've figured out this phone Twittering thing on a primitive scale for dummies, so check in on my Twitter for updates from NY.  To see them from here, it's in the right sidebar under "You stalk me?"  Then a
Read more: Heart

Fear My Indifference
2007-11-13 22:44:02
Do you feel like I'm talking to you?  Do you feel like I'm really talking to you? Or do you feel like I'm talking at you? This is not about blogging.  This is not even about writing.  This is about communication and relationships. I could have and may have alienated some of you when I wrote about my Mary garden or when I delved into the stickiness that is "Mary worship." However I had to risk our relationship in order to be able to truly talk to you about something that was important to me.  You may not agree with me, but at least you were given the opportunity to know how I feel.  To see me. It is not necessary for us to always agree with each other in order to maintain a relationship.  I won't even go so far as to call it a friendship.  It is not beyond my grasp to imagine that some of you may not like me at all, may not agree with what I say, but you stick around because something about the way that I express myself speaks to you


Mary Garden: Church of the Kitchen Window
2007-11-12 22:24:29
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Those are the first words of the Hail Mary.  They are also the words of the Archangel Gabriel, as spoken to Mary during the Annunciation, the occasion of Mary learning that she would conceive a child to be born the Son of God. Growing up, I always thought of the Hail Mary as a prayer to be uttered when vampires were on your tail or some kind of demon had you holed up in a church.  Maybe when a dinosaur was about to eat you, too.  Good luck with that, by the way. I also knew that it had something to do with clickey-beads (the Rosary), but pretty much associated that with old ladies and nuns.  Given how often I pray the Hail Mary these days, you would think I was an old nun with vampire dinosaurs from hell hot on my heels. Raised Methodist but with some devout Catholics sprinkled throughout our family, I grew up with faith, but not necessarily religion.  We had many spiritual discussions in our family, but
Read more: Garden , Church , Kitchen , Window

see what happens when you let just anyone in the door....
2007-11-11 22:03:58
Guest Post by Wendy from Let the dog in! Um, hi.  Is this thing on?  thump, thump Megan decided that I could Let the Dog In over here at her house, so here we are.  Becca's paws are a little muddy.  Do you know where she keeps her vacuum? Well, anyway, we're here to discuss a topic near and dear to my heart (and yours) -- boobs. A friend (male) emailed me this article suggesting a new use for a baking sheet and a bowl of warm water. No, we are not making pizza dough. We are measuring our boobs. Oh, it's all scientific like and stuff.  With a valid purpose--better bra fit.  Some scientist figured out how various amounts of displaced water equal different bra cup sizes. Not that I am against better fit.  It's just that 30 years into this bra-wearing deal, I have come to acknowledge that bras just don't fit boobs.  Or mine, anyway.  Or not for long, like five minutes.  Especially after decades of walking briskly and years


A Birth Plan that Works
2007-11-10 21:45:34
Guest Post by Lyssa from FuseMomsI am absolutely addicted to A Baby Story.    It’s not because I like to witness the miracle of childbirth.  It’s not that I adore seeing a beautiful baby enter the world because, seriously, babies tend to look like old baseball gloves just after they have traveled through the birth canal.  And it’s not that I secretly wish I had another buttercup to hold in my arms.  For the love of umbilical cords, I am so over that phase in my life.   I am devoted to the show because I LOVE to watch first-time mothers-to-be, who are adamant about having a drug-free birth.  I am so pro-epidural that I inquired about mine during my first visit to the OB/GYN after I realized I was pregnant.  I hold no ill will towards women who do not believe in epidurals.  I just suggest that these gals leave the doorway to relief open, just in case they find that another human being exiting their body is a tad bit painful.   On
Read more: Works

I Did, Indeed.
2007-11-19 21:56:00
Wait, wrong one. ********* This one.


Oops, This Might Soil The Velveteen Fur...
2007-11-18 20:00:00
Guest post by Sarcastic Mom, aka Lotus. What was Megan thinking, letting me in here, people?  I mean... she knew I might come slinging poo, right?  [Megan, really, did you KNOW?] I'm ABSOLUTELY delighted to help save the bunny... I just may be soiling his fur a little. I don't know how many "crossover" readers we may share... but this repost from my site is worth a second look.  If you're brave.  Enjoy! The Scatastrophe All the poo in the world was smeared into my living room carpet last night. Ok. So maybe not ALL the poo. But it sure SMELLED like all the poo. Oh, before I go deep into this, I'm going to be a nice girl (please be appropriately shocked) and warn you that if you are squeamish about things like stinky, smooshy DOODOO, then you might not want to hang around for long. By the way, as some of you will recall, this is definitely not the first time we've had a Turdrageous Experience around here. And it' won't be the last, I'


Flip off?
2007-11-17 20:00:00
Guest Post by Lori from Fairytales and Margaritas. True conversation: me:  Man, my middle finger really hurts. hubby:  Why? me:  I don't know.  It's weird because it's just that finger. hubby:  Maybe you should stop flipping people off. me:  Very funny.  If you hadn't noticed it's my right hand.  If that was the cause it would have been my left hand.  Other drivers can't see it if I use my right hand. You see, my middle finger on my right hand has been hurting for days.  At first I figured I sprained it somehow.  You know how many things I do with my middle finger?  Like open soda cans, carry my purse, change dirty diapers.  No?  Exactly!  I couldn't figure out why in the world just THAT finger would be sore.  I had vision of some strange arthritis sneaking up on me.  I was worried that this was just the beginning.  Pretty soon I wouldn't be able to use any of my fingers.  I


Men may kiss your bunny but women will save it!
2007-11-16 20:00:00
Guest Post by Erin from Expecting Executive. Hi there!  I am one of those people who love corny phrases.  You know expressions like I'm busier than a one armed grave digger or She's a sandwich short of a picnic.  But one of my favorite saying is;  Men will kiss your ass but women will save it.  It's a phrase that seems resonate well here.  Or, more appropriately, men may kiss your bunny but women will save it. As a blog squatter, I might be an unfamiliar voice to Velveteen Mind's amazing readers.  Me?  Well, I am a pretty dry, pragmatic writer over at the ExpectingExecutive blog.  When I post, it is always my intent to try and provide practical, level-headed information, support, reassurance or compassion that might help women manage their everyday life's details.    I worry, often, about the amount of stress, concern, fear and loneliness that women are accepting, creating and facing in their everyday lives.  The


Southern Burials: Froggin Weird!
2007-11-15 20:00:00
Oh, my goodness. I’m here, inside the Velveteen Mind, looking out at you! I can’t believe this! I have always been so impressed with Megan's blog. I read her everyday and I never-ever-ever thought I’d be posting anything here. I’m completely freaked out. This might not be pretty. My plan is to write about something I can’t write about over at Milk Breath and Margaritas: my husband’s family. I married up. Pretty way up from whence I came. If it were medieval times it would be like the Young Lord of the Manor married The Milk Maid. It would have been utter scandal.  Mr. P’s family is Old Southern Money, genteel accents and all. I was initiated quickly with a gift of opera-length pearls and given references to join the Junior League. These are Harvard and Vanderbilt people thankyouverymuch. Lots of doctors. At his family gatherings when the meal
Read more: Weird

Double Your Family, Double Your Holiday Fun
2007-11-25 22:34:43
Guest Post by Nell @ Meanwhile...This is the second post I have written for the Velveteen Mind this month, and no, you're not missing anything, I didn't publish the first one. But the two are related. And in the interests of time (a valuable commodity in these final days of NaBloPoMo) here are some things you should know before I begin: There are always two or more members of my husband's family who are not speaking to each other in a given month, and this makes for some tricky organizing around the holidays. The first post was about juggling family during the holiday season and how much more difficult it is when members of your husband's family are not on speaking terms. Although half of S's family lives right across town, we barely ever see them. This is more or less a no-fault situation as far as I can tell, neither of us makes much of an effort, and we're all busy. I am terrible at remembering people's birthdays. I once called my very best friend in the whole world on
Read more: Family , Holiday

No End to November
2007-11-25 22:26:25
I am only vaguely aware that I have a computer lately.  The thought that I have a blog is really just a joke. I mean, I don't even have a shower every day. Today, we made an offer on a house.  For the first time in more than two years, I am entertaining the thought of having my own home again. A real home. Tomorrow, I am relaunching my eBay store for the holidays.  For the first time in months, I am entertaining the thought of managing my own steady income again.  A real workload. Both of these things equal no time to think, let alone write.  Both of things also equal a desperate need to write, to keep my head straight. Both of these things equal positive changes.  But I'll have to work for them. This week is going to be insanely busy for me, so please continue to embrace my GoBloMeMoFo guest bloggers.  Come the first of December, things should begin to stabilize into a more steady pace of chaos, as opposed to the herky jerky chaos that has
Read more: November

Turning down the hearing aid for Thankgsiving
2007-11-24 20:23:34
Guest Post by Mrs. Flinger My parents are here visiting from Texas. It's a wonderful visit... if by wonderful you mean you're completely PRO Texas and ANTI Northwest-liberal-hippy. Apparently we're all three hemp necklaces away from a commune up here. The recycling! The trees! All. That. Fresh. Air! It's enough to make a girl almost appreciate the 3,000 miles between Seattle and Houston. I once told a friend, when asked what my favorite part of Texas was, "The middle. That way, no matter what direction you're going, you're always heading out." So, like I was saying, this visit is going well(ish). But I'm remembering why we as a generation have chosen to move far beyond the lands of our roots. Far beyond that place formerly known as "home". Beyond the umbilical chord. It's because of the TV. See, right now, even as I attempt to think, or write, or work, or godforbid hold a conversation, the TV is up so loud it impales my brain.  Old people? Th


Here it is - my feeble attempt at bunny CPR...
2007-11-23 21:38:43
Guest Post by Deb from Mom of 3 Girls "GoBloMeMoFo" Wow, having to keep the bunny alive – what a lot of pressure! What if the bunny dies while on my watch? Sigh… Well, here’s my best effort to keep this NaBloPoMo thing rolling over here at The Velveteen Mind. Keep in mind this is my first time guest posting anywhere ever, that I’m way out of my comfort zone here and we’ll all get along just fine… I’m Deb, otherwise known as ‘Mom of 3 Girls’. Yes, I know it’s such a creative name. I have no idea where I could’ve come up with that. Nope, none at all.  :) Although it does really fit, due to a serious lack of ‘boy parts’ around my household, other than my poor outnumbered husband, of course. Yes, even our 2 cats are female… So that puts the ratio at 6 to 1. Yikes, no wonder the poor guy works so much, LOL. One question we get all the time is whether or not we’re going to ‘try for a boy’. And people started asking this question
Read more: attempt

Feathered, Furred and Finned
2007-11-22 21:09:13
Guest Post by Veronica from Sleepless Nights Or an alternate title - 'Weird Foods I have Eaten' I didn't have a conventional upbringing. I haven't really talked about what my childhood much yet (aside from saying that I had a good one), but I plan to go into it soon. You can visit me on my very own blog, Sleepless Nights. Firstly I feel the need to mention that I am Australian and we eat our national coat of arms - the kangaroo and the emu. I do NOT condone animal cruelty in any way and I feel that no animal should be killed unless it is for food. I can't stand the thought of people shooting something and not eating it. Like I said I had a unconventional childhood and for alot of it, money was scarce. We always had plenty to eat though, thanks to my father's great hunting skills. So without further ado I have eaten- Kangaroo/Wallaby - You never would have guessed right? I prefer wallaby over beef any day. It is delicious! Pidgeon - Oh my, pidgeon....*drools* Baked pidg
Read more: Feathered

changing my status? complicated.
2007-11-21 22:06:05
Guest post by Carrie from Is There A Doctor In the House? So it used to be when you spied someone holding hands in public. Or when two people showed up together at some mutual event--arrived in the same car, sat together, left together, seemed awfully...familiar. THAT was when you knew something was going on. Not anymore. Welcome to the 21st century, folks. Welcome to the world of Facebook. "It's not real unless it's on Facebook."  This? I've said it. I've said it to people that I've known were dating but who didn't go public until they made that crucial move.  It was meant to be a "huzzah! yay for being brave and going public! yay for being in a relationship!" I had no idea that the act itself--of changing your status--could be so...terrifying. It's basically opening your life up to strangers. Coming clean about the things that have been, if not secret, definitely kept quiet.  It's saying "yes, please, I'd love for you to
Read more: complicated

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