Owner: Once Upon A Lifetime URL:http://onceuponalifetime.wordpress.com Join Date: Tue, 11 Sep 2007 09:38:19 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: A blog about the chaos that is my life as a mother, wife, and full-time college student. Always, very entertaining. Site statistics:Click here
Playing Winter & Lisa Frank 2007-09-11 08:53:05 I love to play winter when Adam and I watch tv or a movie. Playing winter is when I basically freeze out my living room in order to comfortably curl under blankets on my couch while watching tv. It’s quite nice. I love cuddling beneath blankets.
On a completely unrelated note, I was a real putz as a kid. I loved Lisa Frank
school supplies. Loved them. So when I was in first grade, I decided that I should write a letter to Lisa Frank to tell her how much I enjoyed school supplies covered with characters like these:.
I thought Lisa Frank was quite the gal. Surely, she would want praise, I thought. So, I wrote her a letter that was something along the lines of this:
Dear Lisa Frank,
Hi!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :) I thank (that’s right, I put thank..not think) that your stuff is kool.
Thanks,
Amanda *********
I remember it word for word. This is due to the beef I had with Lisa Frank after my 6 year old ass didn’t get a letter in return. I guess I just expected that
Spears-o-rama 2007-09-09 20:00:13 For the record, I have my television on MTV in preparation of the VMA’s. I’m not a big VMA fan or anything. However, I am anxious to see the performance of Britney Spears
. It isn’t necessarily that I’m a huge fan of hers. I mean, I know I’m not “supposed” to be a fan. After all, I’m a female, mother, etc.
The thing is: I’ve never been a huge fan of doing what I was supposed to unless it was wanted I wanted to do. Honestly, I’m sort of pulling for her. At this point, I see her rich-spoiled ass as the underdog. I know a lot of people are pulling for her to mess up somehow. But I’m not. I love to root for the underdog. I guess because I often feel that I am an underdog. Anyway, I love when people defy those randomly against them. I like people who don’t feel like they have to follow the rules. Even when it is someone as mundane yet attention catching as Britney Spears.
I mean, I’m not gonna lie
List of Things That Suck Ass Through a Straw.. 2007-09-04 22:20:00 List of things that basically suck ass through a straw:
1.) The roots I’ve neglected to get fixed that now leave me looking like a bedridden harlot. Or…just like someone who has neglected their roots for too long. After all, I’m sure not all bedridden harlot have bad roots. Probably some of them get them fixed in an adequate amount of time.
2.) Waking up at 5:30 in order to have my day in line. (Cleaned, dressed, out the door for both allie and I by 7:oo. Do you know how long it takes to convince a two year old to put her pants on? Seriously?!?) I hate waking up anytime before 7:30 a.m. In fact, 7:30 is really pushing it. In fact, I’d rather have my neck slammed in my car door than get up at 6:30 a.m.: So, I’m not even going to give you an analogy about my thoughts regarding 5:30.
3.) “Huffers & Puffers” which is my moms grouping for people who basically blow & hiss lots in public places when they are annoyed. Seriously, Huffer Read more:Straw
What an Imagination 2007-09-03 22:33:24 Allie has a very, very vivid imagination. It’s actually pretty insane. She loves playing by herself and will act like she is randomly saving animals I’ve rarely heard of from the tops of trees (Pigmy Marmosets, Pumas). She catches imaginary butterflies and names them ‘Rusty’. Rusty? Seriously?
It’s amusing, really. I’m usually rolling with laughter at her. However, she also uses her creativity to craft insanely long lies.
Today she told my mother the world’s largest lie of story claiming that, “Me, mommy, and daddy went fishing. We catch da biggest fishes EVER. We catch the big fish ‘errr (every) time. Of course. After all, we like fishing.”
We never went fishing. Like…ever. I find it terribly amusing that she also randomly adds “of course” in her stories. And “after all”.
Also, this is her story about losing her dads video game when she picked it up and took it off
just breathe 2007-09-02 21:40:04 I’ve had one of those days where my limits have been pushed, my patience worn thin, and my tolerance at basically zero. I like to relax and enjoy my Sundays. I like to read books, catch up on blogs I read, scoop out postsecret, etc.
It seems as if my day has went completely awry. By 10:30 on Sunday, i am usually fraught with relaxation. I am generally so lazed over that my legs are no longer familiar with their job.
Right now, it’s 10:30 and instead of feeling like the world’s largest pile of lazy..I feel like frustration is banded around all of my internal organs. Seriously. You should try having frustrated kidneys, it’s not easy.
Uggh. I could make a list of things I’m frustrated by but at this point, it would probably only evoke more insanity. I’m calling it a night. I hope you’ve all had good weekends.
Read more:breathe
Braces 2007-08-31 22:42:59 So, I know most people have all these horror stories involving braces. Preach on about them. However, you should all know that I was allergic to the metal in my braces. I am allergic to many metals.
But anyways, you might wonder:what happens when one is allergic to the metal in their braces? Well, I’ll show you…
As if middle school/junior high isn’t hard enough for a girl, imagine having a damn rash ring around your mouth for a year. It <i> was</i> rough. My skin took forever before it would react to one of the many things to cure the random rash ring.
So, my poor adolescent self had to deal with people questioning my rash ring…like daily. Seriously. My poor mother almost had a cow over it.
Uggh..I can’t imagine what people said about it behind my back. I’m glad I never had to hear it.
I mean..I’m not going anywhere entirely important with this. Just basically letting you know that my braces experience w
Stiletto’s & Shoulder Pads. 2007-08-29 21:24:26 When I was a little girl, I had visions about what my life as an adult would be like. The visions were clad with stilettos, jewelry, and shoulder pads. (Yes, I said it.) But really, I guess I was envisioning the life of the Barbie dolls I owned or the women I saw on television. (Come to think about it, I looked a little too much like Barbie in my adult vision for myself. I was clearly being kind to myself.) My adult life in my mind was always situated around the beach. Still, I wore a variety of stilettos.
The best part of my vision of adult life was that all I wanted to be was the owner of a Cassette Tape Store. Laugh all you want, but I was pretty serious about it. I practiced by rearranging and alphabetizing my mothers plethora of cassettes. I even incorporated VHS tapes later. I’m sure you can imagine how bummed I was when cassettes became less popular. I’m even more sad now because they are all but void.
I think it’s funny to think back about how I vi Read more:Stiletto
, Shoulder
The Flame Shirt Winker 2007-08-27 21:31:48 My friends are always complaining that there is only one type of guy that hits on them. And it just happens to be this douche bag:
All of my friends are beautiful and hilarious ladies. In their entirety, they are simply wonderful; they are the full package. So I am not sure why flame-shirt/winking guy has to hit on them and bring down their self-esteem.
Because that’s what happens to most people, when someone that is not quite up to ones standards decides to hit on you….your self-esteem drops at least 10 levels. Because hey, that the flamed shirt winker, for one reason or another, thought he was actually within your realm. He soooo wasn’t. We both know he wasn’t. In fact, the only person who didn’t know–was that guy!
Anyway, I’m basically scared of the flame-shirt/winker. As it is, if he is in a grocery store with five kids he does manage to zoom in on me. That’s right. If you go to the grocery store with you Read more:Shirt
Vegas! 2007-08-26 22:13:09 While I made fun of people who do extreme countdowns at least 20 blogs ago, I’m making one today. However, I am justifying it because it’s the only countdown I am making. For the record, it’s only 27 days until my friends and I go to VEGAS!!! YAY!!!
I’ve been to Atlantic City before (last summer) and it was wonderful. I can’t wait to go to Vegas
with my friends. Comedy Shows, Concert, Gambling, Good Food, Good Drinks..I’m pretty pumped. You’re probably not all that concerned, but I just thought I would blog about how excited I am. Because right now, it’s overwhelming me. Obviously, I should be doing something way more important like studying Genetics. However, in lieu of massive amounts of reading…I have chosen excitement. YAY! <–seriously, what is wrong with me right now?
Our Lingo 2007-08-25 19:57:11 We have our own language in this house. It’s odd how those develop over the years. Things that start as jokes eventually really become the jargon of your home. I like it though. So, I thought I might share some of the lingo along with the origins with you.
Instead of serious, Adam and I always say “serial” or “cereal”. As in, “I’m totally cereal about this!” I’m pretty sure this evolved from a random tidbit caught of SouthPark (go ahead and judge, but it is funny) one time. Regardless of its juvenile origin, it’s quite funny. Especially when it slips out by accident in front of people who don’t understand it.
Adam and I always call each other “LOVA!” you have to yell it and draw out the end. This began after watching a Best of Will Ferrell DVD. They have this hilarious skit where they endlessly repeat the word “lova”. It just kind of stuck. You can watch it here.
We also make fun of Read more:Lingo
Vegas 2007-09-19 20:55:29
I am super excited. 48 hours from now…I will be in Las Vegas
with two of my very best friends.
Vegas + Friends=YAY!
However, I’m in a mad rush to study for all of the tests I need to take early, because I’ll be gone on the days they are being held. I need to pack. I need to pick up some last minute items. I need to pack Allie’s bag for her Mimi’s house. I need to do laundry. And, oh yeah, I need to sleep! And study some more. And shower.
Yeah, showering is good.
I’ll be back soon with lots of pictures!!
Guns, Bad Influences, & Creativity. 2007-09-17 21:50:57 When Adam was in elementary school, he was very lively. His liveliness was often interpreted as mischief. Which was fine with him, because sometimes it was mischief. At some point in the 4th grade, his best friend’s mother (Pearl) made her son stop hanging out with Adam because she claimed he was a bad influence.
Seventeen years later (sometime this week), the boy who was not allowed to hang out with my wonderful spouse was on the front of our local paper for armed robbery. Niiiiiiiiice.
Well, Pearl, Perhaps you should have allowed your gun-toting,automotive-parts-store -robbing son’s ass to hang out with Adam. Seriously, Pearl, he could have learned a few things from my well-mannered, well-behaved, well-groomed, and highly intelligent spouse. Maybe he should mail you his myriad business cards to exemplify his successful entrepreneurship and awesome personality. None of the business cards advertise armed-freakin’-robbery. Just kiding, Pea Read more:Creativity
Scrunch It! 2007-09-14 22:11:15 I’ve always sort of had this pet peeve with people wearing cloth scrunchies out in public. Just in case you are not familiar with scrunchies (lucky you!) here is an example:
I mean, I understand wearing them around in the privacy of your own home. After all, they are quite comfortable since they don’t pull the hair too much and seem to hold an appropriate amount. But honestly, why wear them in public? They are soooo tacky.
You should see the variety of broken-down patterns in which they are manufactured. Oh my, it’s unbelievable:
I mean, if Joy from My Name Is Earl is wearing them in her hair, you should definitely stay away from them. Probably, they’re only legal for girls under the age of 9 or 10. They should be taken away at the same time as velcro shoes.
Now, I realize I am not the queen of beauty tips. Especially when you take into consideration that the time I spend glammed out is slim to none. However, I don’t think you
The Human Radiator 2007-09-12 21:46:43 I’m pretty sure that anytime it is cold in our home Adam is ready to chop off my feet. If we’re sitting on the couch and my feet get cold I dig and dig and dig them under his legs for warmth. I can’t help it. He provides an overwhelming amount of heat. He’s like a human radiator.
Sometimes I do unintentionally do it. And it can’t be comfortable. But I can’t help it. There is so much warmth under there. He is so warm!
If Allie sleeps with us, she slowly migrates over to Adam as the night passes. She sleeps right on his pillow to catch the insane body heat that he projects.
So I’m really not sure why I just wrote a whole blog about my spouse’s body heat. But really, it’s been one of those weeks. I’ve just been buried in school work. Labs on top of Labs. While I enjoy them, some weeks are just heavier and more consuming than others.
I really, really, really need a good laugh.
Read more:Radiator
Internet Down 2007-09-29 14:24:17 My internet is currently down, and will be for the next couple days. I’m at our office typing this up right now. I can’t wait until it’s up and running again. I’ll be back to regular updates! Hope life is treating you all well. If you’re still even reading! haha
Read more:Internet
To Hell With Call Service People 2007-10-13 20:04:54 I hate call service people. By call service people, I mean any person that answers the calls at any 1-800 number you call for repairs/problems and such; whether it be for cable, technology, toilets or whatever. I fucking hate them. Seriously.
I mean, I somehow manage to always get the rude people. ALWAYS. This happened to me twice today. Twice. I am ready to pull my hair out.
What I really wonder is what these evil call service people do when they aren’t busy doing super evil things like drowning kitten or burning out the corneas of newborns. (that was a joke.) <– You see. These people piss me off so badly that I feel like I need to justify my sarcasm.
I understand they are just doing their jobs. However, sometimes they work extra hard for their money and by being total rude asses. Seriously. It takes a vast amount of effort to be a total asshole to someone. It takes more thought to rude to someone than to be kind to them, at Read more:Service
The Mange-Man 2007-10-09 15:42:25 When Adam and I first met, he really wasn’t all that hairy of a guy. He was hairy in a minimalistic sort of way. The hair existed, but it wasn’t out of control…yet. However, it’s been almost five years now and the hair growth has snowballed out of control. Not that I mind, I love him..hairy or not.
However, I sometimes like to involve myself in trickery of sorts. When he is sleeping, I will randomly shave a couple of spots bald so that he looks like he has the mange. haha. It’s all in good fun. The best part of this is that I will then act totally surprised about the missing hair spots later, and be all like, “WHY IN THE HELL DO YOU HAVE RANDOM BALD SPOTS ON YOUR CHEST??? DO YOU HAVE THE MANGE??? CAN PEOPLE GET IT?? WHAT’S GOING ON???”
Of course, he just stares at me blankly a look that says, “Seriously?? You really thought I would wake up and think I had mange?”
Yeah…he doesn’t think it is near as
MY SHARONA! 2007-10-08 21:21:07 Earlier today I was playing around andwith attempting to edit WordPress themes. For a brief amount of time, I changed mine to a theme with a random giant picture of a scary man. I just liked the giant header space and not the bright colors or scary man. However, I got off of the computer and headed elsewhere, completely forgetting that I had scary man on here. So if you stopped by while I had up the big, ugly, scary theme. I’m sorry. I’ve been doing a lot of fighting with this because I am fairly new to all of it.
I’m trying to get myself back into this blog. I feel like between all of the stress with school, home, and getting my act together I’ve somewhat neglected it, which sucks. Because I really, really, really love writing here. Even though at times, I do feel like I have to censor myself; I still enjoy blogging.
Now, time for an Allie story:
Allie: MOM! MOM! I HAVE A BIG IDEA. (at this point, her ideas are “big”.)
Moi: And what wou
Up & Running 2007-10-04 09:23:00 My internet is in action after being down almost a week. I haven’t posted a real post in about two weeks. Where to start…where to start….
Well, I went to Las Vegas. It was alright, but I missed my family and I was really happy to get home to them. While I was in Vegas I had a few tests at school, so when I came back I had to make up a bunch of them. I would rather have my armpits attacked by rabid fleas than ever have to make up tests with jet lag and minimal sleep time. The tests basically resulted in the worst test grades I’ve ever made in my life.
Enough with school talk, let us move on to my cable company. I HATE YOU CABLE COMPANY. They are basically idiots. We argue at least once a year. But the bad part is….I liked the week when my cable and internet was down. I got a lot accomplished. I try not to spend much time on the internet while I’m at home, but I guess it is sometimes distracting. Not as distract
Snake Phobia 2007-10-17 20:43:20 There aren’t many things that frighten me. I’m not saying that in a “I think I’m a brave, brave gal” kind of way. I’m saying it in an honest way. I’m totally cool with bugs. Truth be told, I am a science geek;therefore, I love bugs. They are neat little creatures.
Anyway, I’m also cool with being in the dark. I’m even semi-cool with enclosed places, and thunderstorms are awesome. Neither vomit nor heights bother me, and I’m game for flying.
But…I am terrified of snakes. Phobic of them, really. The mere thought of encountering one seriously makes me semi-paralytic. I’ve never actually encountered one while outside. In fact, the idea that I might encounter one has stopped me from entering the woods numerous times. My brother saw one in our backyard once I didn’t step out there for a year. Seriously. They are just soooo creepy.
The best part is that I’m only discussing my fear because tom Read more:Snake
Me Whining, And Well, Me Wining. 2007-10-15 22:01:57 I have an uncanny ability to convince myself that tasks that need to be accomplished will magically accomplish themselves. I’m like–dirty floor; surely, it’s auto-clean? Seven chapter of genetics to read about–why that should seep into my brain via Osmosis. I mean, why should I do these things when they’ll magically find a way to be completed? I’m serious. That is my current mindset.
It isn’t lack of motivation. Believe me, I have motivation out the yin-yang. I just have so much to accomplish, and often, so very little time.
On a totally different note, I once worked with a girl so out-of-the-loop that she thought you could vote any day in November, not just election day. She actually thought November was election month. To make matters worse (or more interesting depending on your take), she was specifically referencing the presidential election. She was also an assistant manager. She also once asked me how to spell ‘of&rsqu
The Evolution of Friendship 2007-10-21 22:19:52 You know, I think the various levels of friendship are quite odd. It’s strange, really, that most people have friends that are nice to have for different reasons. I mean, there are friends that are fun just to do random things with, out of character things with, friends that you can actually talk to about things, friends that are always there, friends that act like they would be there, etc.
I think sometimes the rules and boundaries that evolve in friendships are odd. I don’t feel like I have many true friends. The kind that you can tell anything with the advantage of true acceptance, and the knowledge that they will relay it to not a soul, not even the person they sleep with (that is tough, trust me). The kind of friend that is there for you even when it is inconvenient for them. The kind you can let visit your home when it is at it’s worst, because you know they aren’t going to blab to everyone that you can’t keep your act together. The Read more:Evolution
, Friendship
Where in the hell did I put that? 2007-10-21 21:35:35 So I have this awful habit of hiding things from myself. Not intentionally, of course. In fact, I think I’m being cunning and strategic when I do this. In the depths of my brain, I tell myself that when I place the object I am about to misplace in its ambiguous location that I am actually placing it in such a strange place I will certainly remember it is.
Yeah, not so much. Usually, a month later when I need the object I am sitting here thinking, “Now, where the hell did I put that? I know I placed it somewhere strange so that I would remember where it was. However, now I have no effing clue where it actually is…”
It’s a tiresome process, really. This odd placement system I have.
The worst part of it all is that I only do it with objects that I know I will absolutely need in the future. It would be wise of me to just place them in a normal place. But no, that’s not for me. How would I give myself a stress-induced headache if
One Foot at a Time 2007-10-26 15:59:28 I’m nearly convinced my laundry manifests itself into monstrous piles just to taunt me. It’s as if the laundry is thinking, “lets mess with amanda today. I mean…really, really play games with her. Big deal if she spent most of her day in a lab using e.coli and staph. Playing with dangerous bacteria isn’t stressful. I’m sure after messing with those all day…she is totally game for doing laundry. Especially large piles of it. *wink wink*”
“No,” the well-behaved dirty red t-shirt says to the naughty monstrous pile, “Amanda knows that she just washed several loads of laundry. In fact, amanda really tries to keep her laundry up to date with its washing so that bastardly humongous piles don’t form.”
“EXACTLY, that’s why we have to play games with her,” the monstrous laundry pile replies to the red shirt.
Crazy or not. It is unbelievable how quickly laundry can accumulate even betwee
Camp Anawanna We Hold You In Our Hearts…. 2007-10-25 17:32:45 When I was a little girl, I desperately wanted to go to summer camp. Not 4-H camp, church camp, or heaven forbid, girl scout camp&hellip
;I wanted to go to a snazzy New England Summer Camp. You know, the classic kind in movies like the one in the beginning of The Parent Trap or even Meatballs. Visuals:
However, I was the child of a single mother who was raising two children while working on her Masters degree. That summer camp shit was not happening in my house. In lieu of summer camp, I would sit in front of the TV and be super jealous over the kids in shows about summer camp. Assholes, I would think to myself (I would, my potty brain has always been in action). I wasn’t deprived or anything. I got to lots of cool things as a kid. This was just one of those off the wall ideas I had that didn’t quite mesh.
Honestly, I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. Because to be candid, my indoors loving ass would not have cut it outside. While I am quite Read more:Hearts
Abnormal Ass Heat? 2007-11-01 12:12:53 So, I just ventured into the computer lab in the science building and plopped down into a chair. IT IS FREAKISHLY WARM! I mean, not warm like…hmm someone must’ve been sitting here before me warm, but warm like the person sitting here before me was clearly on fire, that kind of warm. the bad, freaky kind of warm.
It’s slightly gross and discouraging to feel a stranger’s warmth in this manner. Really, I am sitting here basking in another human beings outrageous ass heat. If I hadn’t decided to start writing an entry about it I would switch computers. OH WAIT! I’ll just switch the chairs..*deedle dum deedle dum*
Okay, I’m back with a new chair, and hopefully, a better attitude. I definitely need one. I am abnormally close to useless on Thursdays, because I know that tomorrow is Friday. Friday usually means that I have several lab reports due and a couple of tests also. *BOO* However, I know that Saturday is around the corner. Instead
Running Lists of Reasons I Love My Husband 2007-10-28 23:19:55 I love Adam. I absolutely adore him. He is so hilarious and versatile. I always say he is the most hilarious person I know, and I think that will always be true. Sometimes I just love the innocence of the obscure things he does. Especially like when his manliness somehow falls into the shadows and things like the following happen, because while he normally attempts to reign as King of Masculinity he has slipped up quite a bit tonight:
1.) He is currently singing “Say My Name” by Destiny’s Child and has yet to miss a word.
2.) He earlier made the statement, “I really wish Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson hadn’t broken up. I mean, I know you liked that show and everything, but I just liked them as a couple in their own weird celebrity way. Not that I knew them or anything, but Nick just seemed like a cool guy.”
3.) He finally decided to start wearing underwear again after a three year hiatus, and me begging him to wear them.
4.) He sleeps naked no m Read more:Lists
, Reasons
, Husband
Scoliosis, Lice, Hearing Tests, and Camel Toe’s (yes, i put all those in a title.) 2007-11-04 22:57:04 So, I used to be anxious about the strangest things as a kid. When I was in both elementary and middle school, the school nurse would come around once or twice a year to do various checks on students. I’m not sure if this was common for all school systems, but it was for mine. If you came to school, you were getting checked. They basically just checked for lice (YIKES!) and scoliosis (DOUBLE YIKES!). Still, it was quite creepy to have some woman come in and run her latex covered hand down your back and dig through your scalp.
I remember always fearing that while I had absolutely no symptoms of lice, the nurse might magically find them in my hair. Then I’ would have been totally be outed as a lice-haver. A lice-haver. That’s right. The nightmare of most elementary aged children along with their parents. Because they would totally out the lice-havers. They wouldn’t come back into the classroom, because they’d be taken to the office to call their Read more:Hearing
, Camel
Crazy 8’s 2007-11-09 19:42:07 I’ll admit that I am slacking. I was tagged by Sandy at momisodes a few days ago. I’m just getting around to completing this. But I’m excited because I secretly love memes.
8 Things I’m Passionate About
1) Allie, my daughter. She is the wonderful in every possible way. I love her shining personality and her bountiful red curls. I love the precious way she kisses me. I love that she’s a good mommy to her baby dolls. It makes me feel like I’ve set a good example.
2) Adam, my husband, who is forever making me laugh. He is wonderful to be around. He’s giving, understanding, and very clever.
3) My mother, I have a wonderful mother. She’s the best . She worked very hard and sacrificed a lot of things to ensure that my brother and I were her top priority. She’s just amazing.
4)Literature (I’m including formula fiction in this also)- I love to read. Reading is very therapeutic for me. I can’t get enough of it. I am alway Read more:Crazy
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