Owner: Once Upon A Lifetime URL:http://onceuponalifetime.wordpress.com Join Date: Tue, 11 Sep 2007 09:38:19 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: A blog about the chaos that is my life as a mother, wife, and full-time college student. Always, very entertaining. Site statistics:Click here
Goliath’s Accusations and Police Chases 2007-11-07 21:58:14 I awoke late yesterday morning rushing and prodding my way out the door. I was running behind, and that just makes me nervous. You see, I hadn’t been as resourceful as I usually am the night before. I generally have everything ready that I need to take with me the following morning. I sit it by my front door to ensure that I remember to take it all with me. Of course, on the morning I’m running late, I have accomplished nothing. I have to run through my house gathering everything last minute while trying to not wake Allie up, because that would make the process of leaving the house take much longer.
(You wouldn’t believe how difficult it is to convince a two year old to wear pants some mornings. Some mornings it’s just that she wants particular pants and yada yada yada.Blue jeans, purple pants, blue jeans, repeat.)
Back to the story, my tardiness would have been fine had I not gotten half way into the drive to Allie’s babysitter for my low f Read more:Goliath
, Police
One Time..I Got Stabbed By A Toothpick 2007-11-14 21:19:34 Last spring, I was walking through the carpeted (yuck!) living room in our old house picking up Allie’s toys. She had been sleeping for about an hour or two, and I could no longer deal with the toy infested mutiny that was my floor. (Honestly, sometimes I feel like Mario when he’s in the level where you have to consistently hop from mushroom to mushroom in order to survive. Well, that’s survival in my living room.)
Anyway, I guess to really envision how this was working you have to know that when I walk around my house picking things up, I am a speed walker to the third power. With that in mind, I was barreling through my carpeted living room at full speed when all of a sudden I felt a sharp, pinching pain in my big toe. Also, I felt as though I had stepped on something. Either way, I screamed like a rabid hyena. Then, I looked down, thinking to my myself, “hey? I wonder if what I stepped on is still beneath my foot? What the hell was that anyway?&rd Read more:Stabbed
I’M A MERMAID! I’M A MERMAID! 2007-11-13 22:43:00 You know, I often find myself wondering how the tiny little gears that crank the brain of a toddler work. It’s amazing really, their thought processes and the constant WHY? WHY? WHY? I love every bit of it. every single moment.
I like it best when I watch her think something through, even if the result is as ridiculous as the following:
Allie while admiring a picture of the Little Mermaid, “the little mermaid has red hair….
She then grabs a lock of her own red hair and stares, thinking for a moment or two…
Then, she looks at me, her eyes bordering a hopeful sort of insanity, ” MOM! MOM! MOM! I’m A MERMAID
! I’M A MERMAID! SHE HAS RED HAIR!! AND…AND…I HAVE REDHAIR!! I’M A MERMAID!!! I’M A MERMAID! WOOOOO!!!!”
hmm…=?
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On a slightly related note, when I was little, like 3-4, I was totally and completely convinced that little elves ran my brain.
Simmering.. 2007-11-10 23:44:02 You know, I’m not comfortable yet with divulging details of my marriage with the internet. However, I am comfortable with telling you that at this very moment I am so angry with my husband, I might possibly pull out each of his eyelashes individually. One at a time.
Believe me, he has a lot of eyelashes. long, pretty ones. THAT I AM GOING TO YANK OUT!
Men just aren’t as considerate as women. bottom line. Don’t get your panties in a wad. I do not expect him to be considerate all of them time; rather, I expect him to NOT be inconsiderate.
Leaving my mail in the floorboard of your truck and not carrying it into the house for two weeks is inconsiderate! Particularly, when it was just my mail. Not your own. Your own was carried into the house. You didn’t leave your own in your truck. Just my pile, my little pile.
I don’t get excited over mail. Normally, I could not care less. However, in this particular mail was a notification telling me I had been no
Supporting the Troops 2007-11-19 21:09:47 Jess’s husband is currently overseas with the Army. There are no stores close to where they are located. They are also not even able to shower daily. So, they need lots of baby wipes and such. They also need lots of very basic supplies. Here is the list she posted of things she’s sending and things you could possibly send:
-Advil, Tylenol, Cold/Cough drops, Sinus meds, Immodium
-Antibiotic cream (Neosporin)
-Anti-bacterial wipes / hand gel
-Baby wipes (LOTS)
-Chapstick
-Cotton balls
-Dental floss
-Deodorant
-Toenail / fingernail clippers
-Dusting cloths (for removing sand)
-Eye drops
-Foot/Boot powder
-Insect repellent wipes / non-aerosol bug spray
-Lotion for body and hands
-Mouthwash
-Q-tips
-Sunscreen
If you are interested in donating anything, click here for more information. Read more:Troops
Natalie Dee & A Meme 2007-11-16 23:22:41 Since I have pink tools, I thought this would be an appropriate time to slip in a Natalie
Dee comic. I can’t get enough of them
I can also totally relate to this one, because I feel this way often times after a few hours in front of the microscope.
And one last one that I love:
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It’s once again meme time. I’ve been tagged again over at Momisodes.
Rules:
1. Link to the people that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself
3. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
4. Let each person know that they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
Seven Weird and/or Random Facts About…Moi
1.) Once I got slightly lost in Brussels, Belgium.
2.) When I was in middle school I was an addictive prank caller; I mean, I had cohorts in these phone calls. I wasn’t just sitti
Wordpress Headers & Blog Future 2007-11-15 17:14:17 You know what really bakes my cookies? The fact that I worked forever on a super cute header, and then when I uploaded it..wordpress ate it. Then, it gave me random gray sludge in lieu of the 100% cuteness I created. I changed the format of the photo and tried again..and still..it ate it. The pictures I used in the header have been colorized. I’m not sure if that’s causing it, somehow, or not?
Anyway, I think I’m going to purchase a domain and hosting. I was going to a while back; however, I really wanted to make sure I enjoyed the blogging and such.
Also, oddly enough, a domain seems so public to me. I mean, I realize this is just accessible as a domain would be. And it isn’t that I don’t want to be public. But at the same time, I don’t tell every single person I know that I have a blog. In fact, only my close friends are aware of my blog. It isn’t that I necessarily want it that way. I just haven’t broad casted it or anything. Read more:Wordpress
, Headers
, Future
Shiraz, Frost Bite, and Third nipples 2007-11-25 01:49:52 I had lots of things I hoped to accomplish today. Instead, I spent the beginning of the day nursing the Shiraz
hangover from hell. It wasn’t a hangover as much as it was the result of my friend Allison and I convincing ourselves it would be wise to to sit outside in 20 degree weather and drink wine for hours.
(Hey! We had a fire pit and a roaring fire to keep us warm..)
Oddly enough, this sitting outside in bizarre temperatures became an even better idea as the glasses were emptied and refilled. My husband, of course, decided to be a wise ass and holler as we walked out the door, “see you guys in five minutes. it’s too cold out there. blah blah blah.”
At that point, we had to stay outside. At least for a time longer than five minutes, because who was he to tell us how to tolerate the FREEZING air? Psshh. I was going to be tough.
Of course, this morning when I was trying to tuck my cold feet between his in bed, rubbing my cold nose against his ba Read more:Frost
, nipples
Have You Elfed Yourself? 2007-11-22 22:08:17 Have you elfed yourself yet? I sure did. I elfed my family. Go watch for a good laugh!
Thanks Megan!
Read more:Yourself
I Get It From My Mama 2007-11-20 23:34:45 Recently, I was helping my mother get things down from her attic in her semi-annual attempt to reminisce when I decided that being a packrat (and probably a potty mouth) was a heritable trait. I was on the ladder leading up to the attic, while my mom, transplanted meniscus and all, was inside of the attic digging through the chronologically stored crates that contain a portion of our lives.
She handed me down the remains of a rock collection my brother once attempted to start (half gravel and half of a premade purchased rock collection in abox). Then she handed me down all of the Barbie’s from my childhood. She continued going through things and handing some down. repeat repeat repeat.
And then, I hear her yell, “WHERE IN THE HELL DID I GET ALL OF THIS SHIT? WHERE DID IT COME FROM? WHY DID I KEEP FREAKIN’ GRAVEL? YOU KIDS SHOULD PUT ME IN THE DAMN NUT HOUSE! I’M A NUT! I KEPT ALL THIS SHIT?? ALL OF THIS??ALL OF IT?”
(that was of course after she ha
Tasers & Eating Crow 2007-11-29 20:52:50 Neither Adam nor Allie is the type of person you should wake up in the middle of the night. So last night when Allie had released buckets of urine in the bed and it almost acknowledged its buoyancy and floated away, we all had to wake up to remedy this situation. Allie & I awoke for obvious reasons while Adam woke up to tell us to be quiet.
I, too, am a grumpy gus if you wake me up in the middle of the night; so it really didn’t help that he woke up thinking his new job was to be the silencer of our house. He has several duties, and the last time I checked house silencer sure as hell wasn’t one of them.
Recalling this situation in conversation this morning went a bit like this:
Adam: You guys were really loud, you kept turning on all of the lights and looking for stuff. Allie kept yelling about wanting to go back to sleep. Then you flipped the light switches even more. I couldn’t sleep! It was really annoying! I don’t know why guys are so loud. It
Where Have All the Assholes Gone? 2007-11-27 17:09:39 Generally, I’m the type of person that casually plans their day. I don’t get all natzi-licious on myself if I stray from the plan. If the time increments don’t fit, or a thing or two gets tossed out of the plans, I can deal with it. But I do like to have the plan. It’s nice to know what’s going on and such.
Anyhow, yesterday, when I fell asleep around 8:00 while laying down with Allie, I was sort of pissed when I woke up at 11:00 p.m and discovered I’d been snoring away. Probably, I should be thrilled that I managed to steal a few extra hours of sleep. But no. The hours from 8-12 are usually the only hours of the day that truly belong to only me. They are mine. Just mine. It’s when I study, when I read, or if I choose, when I watch endless hours of television. Regardless, when I fall asleep early, I sort of feel like I’ve been cheated out of my hours.
Particularly when I need those hours to study like I did last night. Grrr. Read more:Assholes
Crystallized Bullshit & Possums 2007-12-05 22:11:09 It snowed here today! The first snow of the season. Which would be exciting, but instead of snow it was more like “Crystallized Bullshit
“. A term recently coined by Jen. But I have to use it. Because that’s exactly what we got. A snow that started so promising but ended up as crystallized bullshit.
It is no where near enough snow to play in, but just enough to slightly hinder a paranoid driver.
I hope this weather drives the random possums out of my backyard. (I KNOW! I LIVE IN TOWN! WHAT’S GOING ON?)
Seriously though, there are currently four huge possum that have taken up residence in my backyard. They drag their nasty, gruesome looking bodies out from the bushes to feed on my trash. I mean, have you ever actually seen a possum? In order to spare you, I will link a picture.
Nasty, I tell you. I’m not really sure what they’re doing here, but surely, they should be out in the country torturing the trash of the country folk?
In closing
Miniature Cars, Reading, and Adorable Allie 2007-12-04 16:52:47 Saturday, my little country town had their annual Christmas parade. It isn’t anything over the top or incredibly fantastic, but it is very cute and festive. I know Allie would enjoy it, and since Adam was working, my mother and I took her to see it.
(Note: A trip with my mother generally involves me having to walk back to the car 4-5 times to either channel my sanity or fetch random items. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mother. She’s precious. However, precious and taxing can often be synonymous.)
It was the same as always, the parade and my mother’s company. The parade consisted of random rednecks with cars that are allegedly classic, Firetrucks, horses, dogs, and, of course, Santa Clause. Even the Shriner’s in their little miniature cars & trucks!
(What they did not have –was a band!? What parade doesn’t have a band? “Where in the hell is the band?” my mother asked. Who knows? Since the old band director is locked Read more:Reading
, Adorable
A Seizure-Inducing,Fluorescent 8×10 of Jesus 2007-12-02 22:00:42 If you’ve noticed by the new look around here, I love, love, love Christmas. My new header is from a picture I took of my tree last year. I just love the holidays and the festivities.
Although the actual day of Christmas is quite hectic for me since I inherited a bajillion relatives when I got married. I know I should be grateful that I get to go that many places and share the christmas cheer and blah blah blah *insert more bullshit about how grateful I should be*, but going that many places really is stressful.
It’s like, here at 12:00, there at 2:00, there at 4:00, there at 6:00, and so forth and so on.
(Note: Upon re-reading this, I noticed I had a complete mood changeat this exact point and festive transformed into feisty and possibly blasphemy. It’s your call I guess. Just roll with it if you want.)
Plus, I have to purchase presents for even more people. It isn’t the purchase of the present, but picking it out, that bugs me. I hate picking out gifts for Read more:Seizure
, Fluorescent
, Jesus
Wedding Anniversary 2007-12-01 20:34:40 I love my husband. I really do. So much that I am willing to refer to him as my husband even though the word somewhat sticks in my crawl. I even love him on the days I discuss the idea of tasing him.
My first, and always, favorite thing about Adam is how genuine he is. What you see is what you get. I remember being so impressed with this when we first began dating. There wasn’t a facade to dig through in order to discover his true personality. It was always on display, easily accessible, and true, very true even when the situation was negative.
Before Adam, I always felt like I had to fiercely hunt down the real personality beneath the person I was dating. But with him, it was so different. It was so easy. He was smart, funny, and just wonderful. He was the person I wanted to be with. We could talk for hours about what seemed like nothing.
Now, when I say it was so easy, I’m not saying that every day in our marriage is a walk in the park. We disagree sometimes. Read more:Anniversary
, Wedding Anniversary
Backseat Parenting 2007-12-18 22:36:21 I have returned! It’s nice to be back in my own home. While we had a wonderful time, home is always nice. I’ll be elaborating more about this trip after I dig up the cord to the digi-cam to post some pictures. Until then, I plan on ranting something awful.
I’m sure most [...] Read more:Parenting
Vacating! :) 2007-12-15 15:08:32  I’m off for a few days to a chalet in the Great Smoky Mountains. I hope you all have a nice weekend! Also, you should check out these posts:
My Favorite Things
Sally Lou Bitch Face
The Mange-Man
Those are a few of my favorite posts.
My Favorite Things.. 2007-12-14 22:28:29 I decided I would make a list of some of the random things I like some that I placed on my christmas list. Some of them are practical and most are very impractical, either way they are all things I enjoy. I come from a family where [...] Read more:Favorite
Breakin’ Out the Beatin’ Stick! 2007-12-13 14:03:43 I heard this conversation today, and I’m guessing that if the subject matter isn’t a good enough reason to rant, I’m really not sure what is:
Random Loser Guy: I’m so tired of paying child support.
Random Loser #2: Be Like me, just don’t pay it! *insert nasty redneck laugh*
Random Loser Guy: I [...] Read more:Stick
, Breakin
Red Headed Angel 2007-12-11 22:29:06 It’s strange how most of the time you can watch your child’s reactions and fail to recognize them as yours–both the positive and the negative.
Sometimes when Allie smiles, I see myself. Her smile is wide and happy, toothy and beautiful. She’ll flash you her smile for free. Such [...]
Less coffee, More pages 2007-12-09 22:17:53 I thought it would be to my advantage this weekend that my internet magically went down. (Eff You, NewWave Communications!) I thought I would get massive amounts of studying completed less the blogging and such. But who am I kidding?
Truthfully, I need various distractions in order to function. [...]
Christmas Hoopla 2007-12-22 21:33:55 Moanna of Desperately Seeking Serenity tagged me to do this Christmas
Hoopla. Since I love Christmas, the word hoopla, and randomly divulging details about myself via the world wide web, I am on this. Thank you, Moanna.
The rules established by this meme’s creator, Andrea, are:
1. List 12 random things about yourself [...]
Pubes on the Playground (really). 2007-12-22 00:47:09 Some people have horror stories about taking their children to their local park and being stared down by Stepford Wive-ish gals in candy colored, cashmere sweaters adorned with festive pins. Truthfully, I wish that was my case. I wish that at the park today the women were discussing ridiculous [...]
Filling My Brain with Shit 2007-12-19 23:46:42 My husband is an avid sports fan. He is always watching some sort of ball game or questioning me about random sports facts that I would never actually know. Some how the victory of teaching me the fact is worth the snear he gets after asking the question. And [...] Read more:Brain
Moving On Up…(Domain & such) 2007-12-29 10:53:45 I’ll no longer be posting here. But you can find me at my new place.
So if you had me blogrolled or bookmarked, change it on over! And if you did have me blogrolled or bookmarked, you are awesome! There are also some new feed options over. So head on over.
[...] Read more:Moving
Big. Loud. SCREAM! 2007-12-27 22:39:06 At this very moment, the insides of my head are reverberating with frustration and tension.
Oh, where shall I begin? It all started today with my husband calling to tell me that in our house (in all of it’s post-christmas glory) was being shown to potential buyers in less than three hours. While three hours [...]
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