Owner: Up in the Night URL:http://belknapkids.blogspot.com Join Date: Sun, 09 Sep 2007 00:26:23 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: I am a single, work-at-home mom trying to raise healthy, happy kids. I freelance to pay the mortgage and fill the fridge. If you know where I can blog for food, let me know--I would love to earn a living writing about vomit and poo. It is what I know best Site statistics:Click here
The Toilet Paper Epiphany (from the Way-Too-Much-Information Files) 2007-09-11 14:44:00 I deleted this post after realizing that today was 9/11, but after reading Karen's comment to my new-and-improved September 11th post, decided to repost the toilet-paper epiphany... Just yesterday I had an epiphany while sitting on the porcelain throne. And lest you think I spend unwarranted amounts of time there, it was a toilet-paper related thought and thus, completely justified.I decided that we go through toilet paper all too quickly in my home. As I sat there and replaced yet another toilet paper roll, I realized that I do that approximately once a day. Now I’m no expert on toilet paper consumption, but that seems a titch excessive.So I considered (as I sat and thought) different ways to remedy the problem. Years ago I read a book called The Complete Tightwad Gazette that talked about how to save money and get out of debt. There was an entire section on saving toilet paper, from establishing a rationing rule that dictated how many squares were allowed per function (i.e. 4 squa Read more:Toilet
In Remembrance 2007-09-11 12:24:00 I had to remove another post today when I realized it was far too inappropriate for September 11th. Because I believe we should honor the memories of those who died that day and reflect back on this, the 6th anniversary of 9/11.When I think back to 9/11 I remember exactly what I was doing when I found out; just as I’m sure all of you do. What I remember most, however, is that palpable fear that spread through my body with each report of another assault on our country. I too couldn’t be pried from the coverage as I wondered how I could protect my then newborn son from terrorism. I imagined running from those crumbling buildings with him in my arms. I imagined fleeing the Pentagon, frantically pushing him in a stroller. I imagined sitting on a plane, trying to sooth him with a trembling whisper. In a weakened moment I felt helpless and lost.That is, until the news coverage began to unearth the true nature of our country. We heard about the firefighters and EMT who ran towards those s Read more:Remembrance
It’s Not a Wedding Reception, but for Tonight It’ll Do 2007-09-09 21:30:00 My daughter just turned five, but from the conversations she’s been initiating these days you’d think she had just turned twenty. Here are some things she’s asked me lately:“Will you come to my wedding?”“Can I wear a black dress to my wedding?”“When I get married will you buy me a necklace, earrings, a ring, and makeup?“When am I grown up enough to get married?”“Can I drive you to my new house when I’m grown up?”“Can I borrow your makeup when I’m grown up?”“Some day will you give me a diamond? Just the jewel, not a ring.”Okay, so my neurosis is showing here, but is she preoccupied with marriage and being grownup because her father and I are currently failing at both? And is this an “issue” that needs addressing? If so, how do I address it?As the hub and I have worked through this separation, we’ve encouraged the kids to be open with us about their feelings. The tricky thing with children is, sometimes they don’t know enough about what they’ Read more:Reception
, Tonight
, Wedding Reception
Rat + Patootie = Ew! 2007-10-01 01:55:00 It is just me, or are rats gross?Now before I go any further I have to say that I am an avid Pixar fan. Monsters, Inc. is one of my all-time favorite movies. I mean, really, a closet as a monster portal into the human dimension? Clever, right? And the whole Toy Story series with Tom Hanks and Tim Allen as Woody and Buzz? Brilliant! Even the one about the ant colony trying to outwit the grasshopper mafia is fun. But a rat cooking in a famous restaurant? Ew.A little backstory might be necessary. Our first home was a small Victorian over 100 years old. Kaleb was nearly two and Leah about six months old when we realized that the previous occupants of our home had never moved out. We were cohabitating with a large family of mice. They were everywhere, as were their little mousey droppings and their little mousey germs. I was grossed out. I had two babies in my home and a host of vermin threatening our health and livelihood (no, I am not overreacting…okay, maybe I am just a little...).Thus
Tooth Fairy Economics 2007-09-28 19:53:00 This week marked my first stint as Tooth
Fairy. Kaleb, my oldest, surrendered his third lost tooth and faithfully placed it under his pillow (his first two, which he had decided to keep, were lost somewhere in the house a couple years ago where I’m afraid Zacky snacked on them). Being in an especially generous mood, I replaced this tooth with a five-dollar bill.“Heh, Mom?” he said the next morning. “How come the Tooth Fairy doesn’t give much for teeth these days?” He waved the crisp bill at me as evidence. Apparently, the neighbor boy, who has one year on Kaleb and a couple more lost teeth, gets toys under his pillow.“Five dollars is a lot!” I said. “Do you know I only got a quarter for my teeth?” Later that day a friend of mine echoed those sentiments, telling him, “I was lucky to get a dime.” Suddenly Kaleb turned braggart, telling everyone that his teeth were worth much more than his mother and her friend’s teeth combined.Later that day, while I folded laun Read more:Economics
Thanks, Long Overdue 2007-10-11 12:46:00 Eileen over at A Life of Triggers gave me this Reflections Award (I heart you, Eileen!). Ain’t it purty? And because Eileen’s blog is so genuine, so open, and reflective, it means even more that the award came from her (please read her blog—she shares so much of herself it makes me cry almost everytime I read it). And to share the love I’m giving this same award to these lovelies…I Can Fly, Just Not Up…I know. I’m always giving Heather awards, but she’s just dandy! And her blog is open and genuine. One of my absolute favorites…Cheerio Road…a blog I’ve recently discovered, Karen’s posts are always so thought-provoking (Plus, she’s a Zen Buddhist Priest. How cool is that!).The Prairie Preacher…who is very open and honest about his life in transition. And doesn’t it just make you happy to read good guy blogs?Now I have to say that as much as I love getting awards, I hate nominating others for them because there are so many bloggers out there that I just love Read more:Thanks
Back for Now 2007-10-10 12:46:00 Sorry, people. I did, in fact, fall off the face of the earth and have just clawed my way home. Unfortunately, I haven’t been lounging my life away (although if anyone knows where I can apply for THAT job, do tell…). My absence included all of the following: the arrival of my soon-to-be ex in-laws who are temporarily residing in my home, a road trip to Boise, approximately 52 hours of intoxicating family time, three emotional and pseudo psycho outbursts directed at the soon-to-be ex Hub, a broken water heater, and the creation of an underground blog that may have saved my life. Phew. I’m better now.More on all that later…
Popcorn Cancer 2007-10-18 23:13:00 My mom is worried about me because I'm not posting to my blog. "Mom," I said. "Just call me. You can always call to see how I'm doing." "I know," she said. "But that's your blog. You love your blog."She's so right. The last month or so I've been swamped by life and don't even visit my own blog let alone anyone elses. For those of you who check back periodically, thanks so much for your interest and concern. I'm trying to get to a point where I can return to this community I love. Please forgive my absence. I miss you all and hope to come back for good soon. Until then, here's my latest column. It's all I got for now...So did you hear the news? Apparently butter-flavored microwave popcorn causes lung cancer. Not that I think the Universe is listening or anything, but I take issue with that. Initially they thought only factory workers were coming down with this rare type of lung cancer, called bronchiolitis obliterans or “popcorn workers’ lung” (I’m not making this stuff Read more:Cancer
Thanks for your support! 2007-10-22 22:46:00 To all of you who emailed and have continued to check back, the twins are faring well. Another Cat Scan revealed the bleeding has been contained to one side of the brain which is good news. This little gals seem to have new battles daily, but they're both fighters. I promise to keep everyone posted as I learn more myself. Thanks
so much for your prayers!
Please Pray for My Brother's Babies 2007-10-20 00:19:00 Last Sunday my sister-in-law had twin baby girls, beautiful Ava and Emma. While they were more than two and a half months premature they were life-flighted to a larger hospital in Spokane, WA, where the babies seemed to be doing well. Until today. Apparently Cats Scans indicate that both girls have blood on the brain. You can imagine that we’re all extremely worried, and the burden my brother and sister-in-law, Jeremy and Natalie, currently bear is unimaginable. Please
pray for them and their girls. They’ll be running some tests on Sunday morning that will provide them with more information. We’re all praying that information will be hopeful and positive. We’re also praying that Jeremy and Natalie will be granted peace of heart and spirit. If you could, please, offer a prayer for them and their beautiful babies. Read more:Brother
, Babies
ALOHAlloween 2007-10-26 00:13:00 I'm going to have to take a break from my blog (officially)--at least from posting regularly. Until I get a better handle on things, I'll only post my column here. You people are great! I hope to be back soon...My children have finally decided what they’re going to be for Halloween this year. Indecisive. Yep. That’s right. They are going to be wishy-washy, can’t-decide, too-late-to-actually-buy-something-at-the-store werechildren.It’s not that they haven’t had ideas. No, they’ve been full of those. Kaleb has already run through the following options: the Avatar, a white ninja, a red ninja, Yoda, Batman, anything with a cape, anything with face paint, anything with a sword. Leah, on the other hand, has tossed around the following: Wonder Woman, a ladybug, a butterfly, anything with makeup, anything with jewelry, and Lilly Lightly Princess of all the Twinkles and Glows. But ask any of them what they want to be today and everyday until Halloween and they’ll say,
Mission Mompossible 2007-11-01 23:22:00 The other night I watched Mission
Impossible for the first time in years. And as I watched I realized why I will never be a secret agent. Not because I can’t hold my breath for more than five minutes while I defuse a bomb underwater. Not because I can’t scale an elevator shaft in an evening gown. And not even because I’m probably taller (and heavier) than Tom Cruise with Suri on his back. No, not for any of those reasons.I could never be a secret agent because I wouldn’t be able to listen to the entire secret recording without rewinding it. By the time it self-destructed I’d be turning to the person next to me asking, “Did you hear what he just said?”The truth is, I’ve become my mother (bless you, mom!). In order to follow a movie I have to rewind it at least 5 times or ask my children to 1) repeat what’s just been said or 2) turn up the television, again.Now there are valid reasons for this. One is my poor hearing. My mother was right; all that rock music did make me
You're Fired! 2007-11-08 22:57:00 About three weeks ago I was unceremoniously fired from a job I’ve held for a little more than 6 years. I’ve never been fired before so, I admit, I took it personally. Unemployed, and from a volunteer position, no less. You know where I’m going with this. My three year old let me go.Following an especially difficult trip to the grocery store, I was buckling a disgruntled Zack into his car seat when he informed me, “You’re fired, Mom!”I was stunned, because really, where had he learned to say that? And then, shouldn’t he have warned me in some kind of formal performance review? “So are you giving me two weeks’ notice or should I leave you here so you can call a Taxi?” I asked. He wasn’t amused. I continued my bitter monologue home. “Do you have someone in mind or are you just going to take this to the classifieds?” And then, “Remember to ask for someone who will wipe your tears, wipe your nose, and yes, wipe your bum. Not a very appealing job descrip Read more:Fired
A Storm of Pain, and other shameless metaphors 2007-11-07 10:57:00 Humans are interesting creatures, not unlike animals in their desire to shun pain, to do what they can to avoid the sting of a wound, be it physical or emotional. About the time I stopped posting to my blog I had stepped into the axis of my pain, and I have to admit, it surprised me.Just weeks earlier I had been talking with my friend Mary, explaining that I had already mourned the end of my marriage three years ago. All that was left to grieve was the impact it was having on my children (can we say denial?). I was efficiently moving through my divorce, checking through these emotional steps like items on a To-Do list. That’s when the unbearable pain hit me, stealing my breath. Suddenly my heart resembled a split melon, wide and messy with emotion. I thought I was going to die, thought I wanted to die, and gravitated towards my ex, the only one who truly understood how much our divorce hurt.Not until this moment have I recognized two types of pain. One steals upon you slowly and befo Read more:Storm
, metaphors
A First Date 2007-11-14 00:29:00 I'm going to take a break from my melancholy self and write an uplifting post. I'm determined to think my way to a happier place so I'm going to tell you about my date. Yes, I'm newly single and tonight I went on my very first post separation date. With whom, you ask? My son. I know—you feel a little ripped off. You were expecting a juicier story - the likes of which I don't expect to experience in the immediate future. But believe me, people, if I ever have a juicy story, you'll be the first to know (because I'm shameless that way).Anyway, my date with my son was fabulous. He was the perfect gentleman, and while I had to pay my own way (and his), he was a good conversationalist, well-mannered, complimentary, and asked if we could go out again. Soon. Now how often does all that happen on a first date?I guess it's a misnomer to call it a first date. We've gone out before. In fact, I've gone out on dates with Leah and Zack too. And I've got to say that while I d Read more:First
, First Date
Without My Children 2007-11-10 22:51:00 I both relish and despise the weekends my ex has the kids. On the one hand it's exhilarating to have hours to myself—to freelance, to watch movies, to take baths. I can go shopping, without a cart, and meander the store looking at things—me-things. Body wash, jewelry, handbags, magazines. And then it gets late and I start to ache, wondering what my children are doing, if they're having fun, and how much of their lives I've just missed.Kaleb has another loose tooth—will that go under a pillow at our house or his Dad's? What profound questions will Leah ask that I won't be there to answer? And what of Zack and his potty training—will he finally get it when he's not with me? They are my children, flesh of my flesh, and I'm sharing them like luxury vehicles, piecing out moments of their lives like poker chips. And I wonder how they feel about this, passed between my ex and I without thought or question of what they want, of how they would like to spend their time.If y Read more:Children
What I Know for Sure 2007-11-15 13:33:00 (I know, I stole it from Oprah, but the woman’s too busy getting pedicures with hundred dollar bills rolled between her toes to sue lil ole me – so I’m gonna run with it. Love ya, Oprah. And should you ever want to run a show about poor bloggers trying to become multi-millionaires on nothing but poopy posts, I’m here for you.)While at BYU-Hawaii a kazillion years ago I attended a devotional that changed my life (unfortunately, the same portion of my brain that remembers the devotional can’t remember the person who delivered it. Sorry.). The speaker said, “Just because it feels good doesn’t mean it’s right, and just because it’s right doesn’t mean it feels good.” I’m certain he used an example of making out in the back seat of a car. Feels good, not so right. You get the gist.At the time I was engaged to a great guy, one who treated me very well. I loved him and was caught up in everything that was Wedding (there was a $200 deposit on the dress and a luau with a
Black Friday 2007-11-23 23:42:00 I have a riddle for you. Where do you find a bunch of crazy people crowded together before daylight without their straight jackets on? Answer: BlackFriday
, otherwise known as the Day after Thanksgiving Day sales. And I say that with love, people, because I’ve been a loyal attendee for years. When I lived in Utah my ex and I were great Black Friday
strategists; we would pour over the ads and make lists of where to go and at what time. We would wake up at 4 and wouldn’t get home until after 10 (for you sane people, that’s in the a.m.). And while I haven’t had much experience shopping in Idaho Falls, Black Friday in Utah was more than a day, it was an Olympic event.I made my sister, a Black Friday virgin, come with me one year. She was amazed to see retailers passing out refreshments to 5am shoppers on their way into stores. But on Black Friday those shoppers are more like marathoners taking the paper cups of orange juice and hot chocolate to pour over their heads as they st
Bye Bye Bling... 2007-12-01 13:27:00 I can’t afford therapy so I’m writing in my journal, religiously. It sits on my bedside table and sometimes I stay up until one in the morning, writing down my feelings and reflections, trying to figure stuff out and make myself accountable for changes I’m trying to make.Recently I’ve been made acutely aware of how much I worry about what other people think. Does anyone else struggle with this? When I’m at church, with my family, talking with my ex, and yes, even publishing posts to this here blog. It’s been something I’ve struggled with since high school. Before that I remember being a carefree child who could care less what anyone thought. What changed that?Junior high. At least that’s when I realized that others’ judgments could impact me in a very public way. There was this popular pack of boys who would roam the halls before school, circling the 8th grade wing and bulldozing anyone in their path. I remember having my locker closed on me, being goosed while trying Read more:Bling
, Bye Bye
The Longest Finger of All 2007-11-30 12:10:00 At church on Sunday, after Leah had tired of drawing in her notebook, she sat back in our pew and began fiddling with her hands. Minutes later she lifted her fist high in the air, her middle finger erect. I cupped my hand over hers and whispered, “Leah, don’t do that.”“Why, Mom?” she asked.“Because it’s not nice.”“But, Mom,” she said. “It’s my longest finger.”How could I reason with that?“Yes, Sweetie. It sure is,” I said. “Just keep it to yourself.”So for the rest of sacrament meeting she admired her middle finger, the longest of all, from the safety of her little lap. Read more:Longest
And thus it begins... 2007-11-29 21:44:00 A sign Kaleb penned himself and hung on his bedroom door just this week.
Dating-Service Guy 2007-11-26 12:53:00 Okay, so I’m sitting here in the library, waiting for a desk with an internet hookup and there’s this guy browsing some electronic dating service. Can I just say, ew? Now I don’t mean to be nosey (okay, so I do) but he must have set his search specifications to “busty” because he’s enlarging all these pictures of very buxom woman with come-hither looks (it’s certainly no eHarmony). And he’s sat himself right in the middle of one long desk with two internet hookups. Now I come to the library to freelance – if I stay home where my ex mother-in-law is watching my children I don’t get anything done. So I come here to focus for 4 quiet hours a day and work at a desk with a free internet connection. I know, it’s a public place where everyone’s welcome to use these services, but, pah-lease! Try to get lucky somewhere else, mister.Sheesh. That was a grumpy post. It's now one hour following this aforementioned "encounter" with Dating
-Service
Guy, and I've gotten my o
Deck the Halls, Not the Children 2007-12-07 11:20:00 This week's column...Because I’m now the only adult in my home, I’m frequently outnumbered on things like food preferences and movie picks. That’s why on the 26th of November Christmas decorating commenced at the Belknap house.Now I’m not a Type A personality. In fact, I’m more like Type C, if there is such a thing. My house is not meticulous, Mt. Laundry looms in my basement, and my children believe cooking simply requires a can opener and microwave. So you’d think I’d be easy-going when it comes to Christmas decorating. Not so much.I’m not sure if it’s because the majority of our decorations are breakable or I’m just a grinch, but as soon as I popped the seal on our Christmas tubs I became Martha Stewart preparing for a party at the compound. I was barking orders, telling children to stop touching things, and finally made everyone sit at my feet to watch me place everything “just so.” Yes, someone should nominate me for the Christmas Spirit award.When we set Read more:Halls
, Children
Hawaii, my Ku'uipo 2007-12-06 14:06:00 Last night I found the Israel Kamakawiwo'ole CD, "Alone in IZ World," and played it as I fell asleep. Ever since I've been homesick for Hawaii
, my sweetheart, my Ku'uipo. So in honor of Pink and Blues Girls Flashback Thursday I'm going to indulge myself a bit and write this lovepost in honor of the place I once called home and am missing dearly today.Have you ever had that odd sensation of coming home? I don't mean returning home from college for Christmas break, although the feelings are similar. I mean landing in a place you've never been before and feeling like it was the place meant to be the setting for your life? And like a tuning fork your heart resonates whenever there? Hawaii was that for me. It's the only place I still have reoccurring dreams about, and when I wake up I feel melancholy and apart.But enough of that. On to the good stuff. As I closed my eyes last night and listened to the very local Hawaiian music I remembered so many things:I could hear the ocean throug
Calling all readers... 2007-12-05 12:35:00 People, I need your help. Seriously.I’m about ready to tackle the task of sending out Christmas cards, but I’m a little stumped. Generally I try to write a light-hearted newsletter that tells people what we’re up to. But how do you share the earth-splitting news I’ve got to share (i.e. divorce) without putting a damper on the Christmas spirit? I’ve considered not sending anything at all, but then lots of people will just be confused next year when I return to the ritual. I’ve also considered just sending out the picture postcards and signing it “Shauna and the kids.” Is that enough? I welcome (and beg for) your advice and/or suggestions. Read more:Calling
, readers
My Day Spa, or more appropriately titled, I Have Strep 2007-12-04 01:10:00 Today I went to the doctor to get a throat culture (Yes, people, the Belknap’s have strep), and I was a magazine whore in the waiting room. I’m guessing this is what happens when you confine a woman in a room without her children (and her laptop), forcing her to sit quietly by herself for nearly 20 minutes.First I raided the wall rack, snagging a Good Housekeeping, a Country Cottage, and a Redbook with Kelly Ripa on the cover. I binged, flipping through pages furiously, trying to get as much mindless magazine-ing in as possible. The other lady in the waiting room looked up from her Newsweek with raised eyebrows and then back down as if embarrassed for me. I read magazines I never would pay for—People’s issue naming the sexiest men alive, and then the one about that guy they think killed two of his four wives.When the nurse called me in I scowled at her. I would have waited for an hour. or two. I’m probably the only person who views a trip to the doctor for a throat culture ak
Collateral Damage 2007-12-17 14:46:00 This year has been taxing on my little man, Kaleb. The divorce has been hardest on him, and in just a few short months he's matured more than I'd like to admit. My toothless wonder is more reflective, thoughtful, and introspective.Last week was the most difficult of my life. I won't drag you through the details—suffice it to say that ending a marriage is a painful, difficult, and often, ugly thing. On Tuesday night I placed my kids in front of the TV and shut myself in the nearby empty playroom to talk with my Mom. It wasn't long before I was sobbing uncontrollably, wiping snot from the faceplate while trying not hyperventilate. Kaleb walked in. At that exact moment I realized that while my children have seen their mother cry (in a dainty, dab-a-tissue-at-the-corner-of-my-eyes kinda way) they've never seen me broken like that, incoherent and hiccupping with emotion. He stood in the doorway, stunned. "Why are you crying, Mom?""Mommy's just sad," I said. (W Read more:Damage
, Collateral
An Undeniable Will for Chocolate 2007-12-12 07:29:00 This week's column...One parenting trend suggests you describe your child's shortcomings in a positive light to avoid pidgin-holing them early in life. If that were the case I would say my daughter is selective, discerning, and astute. Unfortunately for her I don't subscribe to that trend. Leah is a picky, persnickety, finicky eater.If my daughter had her druthers, she would eat Honey Nut Cheerios, chocolate ice cream, and grilled cheese sandwiches everyday. Again, unfortunately for her, she doesn't get her druthers much.So dinner is a battle at the Belknap house. It doesn't matter what it is, child-friendly though the meal may appear, the girl won't eat it. Spaghetti? Nope. Tacos? Too spicy. Pork chops and mashed potatoes? What is this, Mom?But I won't budge. She has to have a bite of everything to get down from the table; her plate must be clean to get any dessert. And tonight's piece de resistance is chocolate ice cream. The situation has now become a moral dilemma fo Read more:Chocolate
Picture Retakes 2007-12-12 07:14:00 I took all the kids in to get their pictures taken at the school. And after getting retakes for Kaleb and Leah, they have returned. Thankfully they turned out pretty durn good. They're cute, right? Kaleb, or as we like to call him, "No Teeth"LeahZack, Zackers, Zacky, Zackerino Read more:Picture
Leah at Church, Again... 2007-12-10 21:17:00 Yesterday, Leah sat next to me in church (sound familiar?), cross-legged on the pew with her dress covering her legs. She was concentrating on her notebook, painstakingly placing stickers (thanks, mom) all over the cover. When out of nowhere (and in the stark silence of the chapel) she let loose the biggest piece of flatulence that congregation has ever heard. And at first I had to look back, expecting to see a gassy elephant sitting behind us. But no. It was my dainty daughter, acting as if letting one rip in the middle of church was completely natural. And not to be gross, but it had a noticeable flapping effect and was long. Long enough for me to look back at the pew behind us, not see an elephant sitting there, and then turn back to my daughter and say, "Stop, Leah," to which she responded (yes, still flatulating), "But, Mom, it's my toot. I CAN'T stop that"Why, of course!And that's when the man sitting in front of us looked back (expecting to see an elephant) and la Read more:Again
, Church
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