Owner: A Wild Ride URL:www.awildride.net/blog Join Date: Sat, 08 Sep 2007 20:54:52 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: A Blog for mothers of challenging children. Includes current news and research, parenting strategies, self-care tips, mothers' stories.
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Readers Comment on Bipolar Study 2007-09-08 20:42:42 Several readers sent comments regarding our story Study
Questions Bipolar
Diagnoses on the recent Bipolar research. One of the comments came from the author of my-bipolar-blog. This is new site offers some insightful essays. If you ever wonder what goes on in the mind of someone with Bipolar disorder, check out this site.
From the Welcome page of this site:
This was my outlet when I had problems; I still use it as a form of self-expression today. It's called creative writing. This is one of my favorite subject poems in class. We had to write a poem about the weather.
Forrest Rain
On the window, the rain will clap.
I can smell the pine-tree sap.
I can see all the beautiful green,
when I look through my window screen.
I love the idea of a cleansed world.
My dog sleeps on a quilt curled.
Whenever I see the rain come in,
I know new life will begin.
"I don't want this feeling to ever end."
I say as I curl up beside my best friend.
Other other articles of interest from this sit Read more:Comment
Study Questions Some Bipolar Diagnoses 2007-09-06 19:24:26
This just in from the Associated Press:
Study
Questions Some Bipolar
Diagnoses By LINDSEY TANNER
CHICAGO -- A new analysis suggests there's been a huge increase in the number of U.S. children diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but experts question whether the surge is real and say some kids have been mislabeled.
Researchers looked at the number of times children under 19 went to the doctor and were diagnosed with or treated for bipolar disorder, also known as manic depression. They found a 40-fold increase, from an estimated 20,000 visits in 1994 to 800,000 in 2003. The jump coincided with children's rising use of antipsychotic medicine.
The numbers echo other estimates suggesting as many as 1 million U.S. children are bipolar, but it remains a controversial diagnosis in children. That's partly because their symptoms often differ from adults', and because most powerful antipsychotic drugs used to treat bipolar disorder were approved for adults and have not been well-studied in
Building friendships through support groups - Part 1 (by Sarah) 2007-09-05 09:15:55
When I first met Joan five years ago, she and a few other women had already formed a support group for moms of challenging kids. She explained to me that they met monthly to offer each other encouragement during these frustrating and often painful times. In the few short years since Nicholas’s birth, I could not recall a day that was not difficult. At that time, his baby book had a few snapshots of him as a smiling child, but most photos were images of a worried child, a painfully shy child, one who was clearly troubled by everything around him.
Joan shared with me that she too had a son, Neil, who tested her every waking moment. But he sounded like the exact opposite of Nicholas. Neil was aggressive toward other people; Nicholas withdrew into himself. Neil needed many friends; Nicholas wanted limited social interaction – the fewer people the better. Neil had been labeled socially deviant and expelled from pre-school; Nicholas didn’t even want to start pre-school.
Read more:Building
, Sarah
Back to School & the Friendship Scene (by Mary) 2007-09-02 11:52:09 Technorati Profile
FRIENDSHIP STRATEGIES
Here it is -- September already. The “not-so-lazy daze” of summer is waning as we gear up for another school year. If you have a school-age child, her emotions may be all over the map; from anticipatory excitement to extreme dread.
This is true for pre-schoolers as well. This may be the first time your little guy has been away from his parents on a regular basis. A big change that may give the whole family the shivers.
The social scene at school, though it changes as children age, presents countless challenging situations: difficulty sharing, hurt feelings, bullying, teasing, competition, pressure to fit in.
To help your child (ren) work on making and keeping friends, I offer various strategies depending on the age of the child. Some of those strategies include:
For preschoolers:
1. Make sure your child's play dates are short, about 1-1 1/2 hours.
2. Listen in with a baby monitor so you can short circuit any conflicts tha Read more:School
, Friendship
Benefits of Blogging (by Elizabeth) 2007-08-30 10:26:48 I love my Blogging
job. Not only do I have the privilege to spend hours researching and writing on a topic that effects millions of mothers, I also enjoy the opportunity to meet other moms and share their thoughts and stories. Sometimes I meet these moms in person (like Jen Zug at The Pile I'm Standing In). Sometimes through the Blogosphere.
Today one of our readers posted this comment in response to Jen’s essay Teachable Moments:
“What a great story, Jen. Thanks for sharing it and reminding us to stay in the moment.”
I noticed that the comment came from Kirsten at Mommy Needs a Cocktail ‘Cause Sometimes the Brownies Just Won’t Do the Trick.
To me, sarcasm is a beautiful thing and often helps me get through the day. Immediately drawn to Kirsten's site by the title alone, I read her latest entries and laughed out loud. (Laughter = Therapy)
So, if you haven’t discovered Mommy Needs a Cocktail yet, check it out. Here’s the beginning of a piece many-a-mom c Read more:Benefits
, Elizabeth
Teachable Moments (by Jen Zug) 2007-08-28 13:23:41 Returning from a week's vacation (more on that later), I panicked when I saw 382 email messages waiting for me in my Inbox. As I sifted through the junk mail my Spam filter did not pick up, the work email, the personal email and the school email, I came across this gem from The Pile I'm Standing In author Jen Zug. Enjoy this gentle reminder to slow down. ~ Elizabeth
Teachable Moments
One day a few weeks ago I was busy preparing our family of four to go on a five day camping trip. It often feels like my kids' clingy-ness is exponentially related to my inability to make time for them. They can sense that I don't have time for snuggles, which only makes them more demanding for a snuggle.
On a beautiful day when she would otherwise be content to play in the yard, my four year old daughter, Ruthie, was particularly clingy to me in the house. She whined, she begged to be held, she pushed her brother and made him cry, and she threw her toys around angrily.
Exasperated and
Taking a Break from Blogging (by Elizabeth) 2007-08-21 09:35:24
I'm off for a few days. In the meantime, enjoy some of the posts you may have missed. A few of my favorites include:
Virtual Hugs
A true friend is never farther away than needing her can reach
Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places
Nurturing Ourselves for a Change
Look for new stories and information on the A Wild Ride Blog starting August 28th. Read more:Blogging
, Taking
, Elizabeth
, Break
From the archives: Whitterer on Autism 2007-08-20 09:24:04 Our first Guest Blogger is McEwen (Whitterer on Autism
). McEwen offers us seven coping tips that apply to any parent dealing with a challenging child -- no diagnosis necessary.
7 Tips - Coping mechanisms for parents of children who have just been diagnosed with autism
1. Make sure that you are alone. Scream as loudly as your lungs permit, for as long as you are able. Cry until you are incoherent. Ensure that you have an adequate supply of tissues. [translation = several catering sized boxes of Kleenex]
2. Take a damp cloth and wipe your face until your breathing returns to approximately normal. [translation = your regular breathing rate]
3. Visit or phone a true pal [translation = friend] and/ or relative [translation = family member] and talk. Advise them that you are likely to blub [translation = weep] and that they do not need to respond, merely listen.
4. Start reading the paperwork that the professional who diagnosed your child gave you. N.B. If the pile of paper is too
Back to School Tip of the Day #7 2007-08-19 09:10:32
Here's a good reminder from Terri Mauro. On her site, About.com Parenting Special Needs, Terri offers Five Ways to Stop School
Behavior Problems. The advise below is a good reminder regardless if your child is challenging or "normal."
Be realistic about your child's abilities.
Pushing and motivating and holding high expectations can drive some children to be all they can be, but it can drive others straight into anxiety and depression. Would you want to work at a job, day in and day out, where you always had to be at the top of your abilities, handling things you weren't quite on top of and hoping things turn out alright? Kids can't quit, and they have very little recourse in terms of demanding better working conditions, but they can find all sorts of ways to act out their anger and despair. Be honest and compassionate when considering what sort of classroom your child will learn best in and what sorts of supports he or she will require. Academics are important, and it's n
Back to School Tip of the Day #6 2007-08-18 10:33:25 Whether dealing with your child's fear of school or other anxieties, here's some good advice from Don't ignore your child's fear of school by Sandy Spurgeon McDaniel, originally published in the August 7 edition of the Orange County Register.
Every great philosopher says to live in the moment. To live tomorrow robs the potential of today. Teach your child to focus on something worth doing today. Put a fearful thought about school, which is not happening today, in a balloon and let it go.
Read more:School
Back to School Tip of the Day #5 (by Mary) 2007-08-17 09:02:47
If your child is in counseling – think ahead and schedule appointments outside of school hours, if possible. This makes it less intrusive on her day and alleviates any "make up" work.
Photo by Michael Flippo Read more:School
Back to School Tip of the Day #2 (by Mary) 2007-08-14 09:48:38
If your child has difficulty with transitions or is slow to adapt to change, begin an earlier bedtime and wake-up routine a few weeks before school starts. At least one week before, have your child go to bed and get up at the actual time school will be starting. This will help her begin – and get used to – a predictable routine before that first day of school. This should also help her nervous system adapt to the new schedule.
To read more of Mary's Strategies, click here.
Read more:School
Back to School Tip of the Day (by Mary) 2007-08-13 13:21:54
Make the rest of the summer memorable and fun so your child starts school refreshed with memories she can draw on during the school year.
To read more of Mary's Strategies, click here. Read more:School
Building friendships through support groups - Part 7 2007-09-28 11:08:26 My child is inflexible, unable to handle change and has little emotional resilience.
“I guess I’m lucky in that Jared doesn’t have physical ailments, but parenting him is just too damn difficult,” says Jackie, introducing herself as she offers me a cup of tea. “I find it hard to accomplish anything in the course of the day. It’s hard to endure his moods, crying spells, tantrums. Hard to comprehend why he thinks in his negative, oppositional way. Hard to persuade or convince him differently if his mind is set. His physical energy simply outdistances mine. When he gets upset he bounces back very slowly. He needs hours, sometime days, to recover.”
Every mother in the room understood this lack of resiliency. Disappointment over a lost baseball game, a difficult piano lesson, or a simple math assignment can drive these kids into an inconsolable depression or rage that goes on and on. I could relate 100 percent.
“The other day I realized that through his inflex Read more:Building
Building friendships through support groups - Part 6 2007-09-26 09:46:10
My child complains of physical ailments that have no obvious cause.
Many of the moms nodded in agreement because their children also complain of physical ailments when there is no identifiable cause, not even after repeated trips to the doctor. “For months Neil would double over with intense stomach pain every morning before school,” Joan told us. She and her husband had consulted numerous doctors and also tried alternative dietary approaches – more acidophilus, less junk food. More fruits and vegetables, no dairy. Vitamin supplements. “I’m willing to try anything,” says Joan. “Anything that would help Neil get through the day without any physical discomfort.
“The problem is – he’s not faking it. Neil really does feel awful. His head is pounding. His stomach is hard and hollow. Sometimes I am certain that other parents, and even Neil’s teacher, think I am heartless when I don’t respond with sympathy to his latest physical complaints. Their attit Read more:Building
Building friendships through support groups - Part 5 2007-09-24 10:03:46 If anyone wants to find, or join with others to start, their own support group for parents of challenging children in New Jersey, just call Ed. He's glad to help with contacts, ideas, and support:
N.J. Self-Help Group Clearinghouse
Phone 1-800-367-6274
More easily remembered as 1-800-FOR-M.A.S.H. (Mutual Aid Self-Help).
Building
friendships through support groups - Part 5
My child is easily over stimulated and overwhelmed.
Maria describes her son, Graham, as intense to the extreme. “It doesn’t take much to over stimulate and overwhelm him. If Graham’s withdrawn, then he’s barely reachable. If he’s energetic, he becomes out-of-control. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to dive under the shopping cart at the grocery store. And if I lose it at the end of a tough day, and yell at him, other shoppers glare at us with imperious, unfounded contempt. That feels real good.
“Graham is never just a little tired – he’s exhausted and unable to function
Building friendships through support groups - Part 4 2007-09-20 09:29:07
My child exhibits persistent, impulsive, and unpredictable behaviors.
I was next introduced to Valerie:
“I agree with what both of you are saying,” adds Valerie, another mom. She is the sole support of her family and is raising Caroline, her 12-year-old daughter, alone. “I think that sometimes people just don’t see kids for who they really are. Caroline has a classmate who has purple hair, a tattoo on her neck, and a pierced eyebrow. People think she’s a pot-smoking, disenfranchised rebel. Well, that girl is on the honor roll and she’s the favorite babysitter in the neighborhood!” I notice Valerie let out a big sigh.
“Now my daughter,” she continues, “dresses in the latest teen fashion, has plenty of friends, and never gives her teachers or softball coach a hard time. People think she is an ordinary, sweet teenager. But at home she is a Jekyll and Hyde nightmare. Her constant oppositional behavior and ugly, hurtful accusations drain and demoralize Read more:Building
Building friendships through support groups -- Part 3 2007-09-19 09:04:19
Joan suggested, “Maybe to help Sarah know she is on common ground here, we could introduce ourselves and each answer the question – based on our own child and our parenting experiences – how do you define a challenging child?”
My child is aggressive, defiant, and frequently out-of-control.
“Hi, Sarah. I’m Mia. Welcome to our group. I think that some of the emotional and behavior problems our kids have are similar to those of other kids but more intense. Like the difference between a night-light and a bare bulb. My daughter Katy struggles with ADHD and as a single parent, this is really hard on both of us. Dealing with my daughter’s father is also problematic because he and I have very different parenting styles. Consistency in Katy’s life would certainly help her ADHD, but the shift from my house to her Dad’s and back again is disruptive.
“I feel as if I am on a perpetual roller coaster ride when it comes to dealing with Katy. She swears at me, not ju Read more:Building
Building friendships through support groups - Part 2 2007-09-18 09:04:42
During the next year, I would see Joan around town, and each time, she asked about Nicholas with sincere concern and interest. I would roll my eyes and give her a brief update of our constant day-to-day struggles. “Come meet the other moms, Sarah,” Joan would say. “You don’t have to go through this alone.”
Finally, the years of dreadful isolation and loneliness drove me to attend my first group session. Joan introduced me to the other moms – Mia, Valerie, Jackie, Janet, and Tess. I sat comfortably on the sofa while the others sat in the surrounding overstuffed chairs, all eyes looking at me, welcoming and curious. I introduced myself and mentioned that I was having difficulty with my son. “I’m not sure how you can help me.”
Joan suggested, “Maybe to help Sarah know she is on common ground here, we could introduce ourselves and each answer the question – based on our own child and our parenting experiences – how do you define a challenging child?”
Read more:Building
More School Tips 2007-09-14 09:05:28
Kelly at AutismSupportsForYou.com sent us this piece printed in the Charlotte Observer:
Parents, some school tips for special-needs children
Find your child's strengths, let go and follow his lead by BETSY FLAGLER
For students with special needs, going back to school is far more complex than new backpacks and the hottest clothes. Here are tips from parents, professionals and two kids to make the school year a success for kids with special challenges:
First, words of wisdom for teachers and parents from a boy diagnosed with autism: "Respect your students' diverse routes to learning and their diverse styles of manifesting what they have learned."
Having respect means walking on a two-way street, where each child's different learning styles are understood, not squashed, says his mother, Morton Ann Gernsbacher, a psychology professor at the University of Wisconsin in Madison.
Read More... Read more:School
Does your child have convergence insufficiency disorder instead of ADHD? 2007-09-13 11:14:00 Interesting article in the New York Times on September 11, 2007:
Health
Not Autistic or Hyperactive. Just Seeing Double at Times by Laura Novak
Difficulty in school isn’t always a sign of a learning disorder
, it may just be a sign that a child
’s eyes aren’t working properly.
After several different diagnoses, including autism, anxiety disorder and ADHD, one 9-year-old
found that she suffered from "convergence insufficiency, in which the patient sees double because the eyes cannot work together at close range.
The article goes on to quote Dr. Eric Borsting, an optometrist and professor at the Southern California College of Optometry who has also studied the links between vision and attention problems, “We know that kids with C.I. are more likely to have problems like loss of concentration when reading and trouble remembering what they read,” he said. “Doctors should look at it when there’s a history of poor school performance.”
Something new to consider when trying
Classroom Support Plan Offer 2007-09-12 10:56:26
Kelly from AutismSupport
sForYou.com wrote to us about a new "interactive tool that asks parents, caregivers or teachers about a child's specific learning needs and then recommends individualized classroom supports that can be used for students with Autism and other similar learning styles."
I checked out the site (love the graphic) and found it very user-friendly. Parents are asked to complete a survey that asks questions from a parent, caregiver or educator about a child’s particular learning style and needs. Based on that feedback, it generates a report of individual strategies that can be applied immediately.
According to the site: "The Classroom
Support Plan provides individualized, hands-on recommendations to parents and teachers about how to help students with Autism and similar needs have the most successful experience at school."
In an email to me, Kelly explains that "the individualized suggestions focus on using what students with Autism are best at to help them ac Read more:Offer
Parenting & Practitioner Classes 2007-09-10 10:31:16
For seminars throughout the U.S. visit:
Cross Country Education
Education Resources Inc.
Seattle Area Classes
and Seminars:
Below are classes, groups and seminars offered in and around the Seattle area. This information is provided by Catherine Whiting , MS, OTR/L, and Shannon Renae West, MS, Registered Counselor.
Bainbridge Island, Washington
Sensory Avoiding and Sensory Seeking Behavior (from babies to adults)
Presented by Catherine Whiting
Saturday September 29th
10:00 .am. -11:30 am
13881 John Street NE
206.855.7996
Free. Adults only please. RSVP
The classes below are held at Collaborative Family Therapy
9431 Coppertop Loop, Suite B
206.780.7822
Voices: A Group For Adolescent Young Women
This group for middle school and junior high teens is intended to be a fun and creative place for teens to bring their voices together: to talk about their experiences, to support one another in friendship, and share their expertise and encouragement about navigating the teen Read more:Parenting
Kids Aren't the Only Ones Who Need Friends at School (from Terri Mauro) 2007-10-02 12:33:36
I just had a chat with the mom of one of my son's classmates. We touch base from time to time, and we learn things. I learned that there might be one more kid in their class than my son had mentioned, and that my son has a new friend named Michael. She learned that there was a little bit of homework last night that her daughter didn't mention.
When your kid doesn't always give you the full story, comparing notes on the story fragments other parents get from their kids can help both of you put together the puzzle.
This may be true for non-special-needs parents, too; for all I know, that's what those moms are chatting about in their cliquey little knots on the lawn waiting for kids to come out of school. But parents of children in special education have a particular lot to offer each other, and a particularly hard time doing it. When your child takes the bus to a school outside your neighborhood, you miss that lawn-gathering time, and that knowing-who-the-other-parents-even-are e Read more:Friends
, School
, Terri
, Mauro
Building friendships through support groups - Part 8 2007-09-29 12:43:08 My child is so often inconsolable.
This conversation is really touching on one of Nicholas’s core problems, so I jump right in. “Did these behaviors begin when your children were babies? I’ll tell you why I ask. Nicholas was difficult beginning the day he was born. My baby never slept and he always cried. I am not exaggerating. He ALWAYS cried. He seemed joyless, despite our attempts to entertain or comfort him. True, he would easily fall asleep, but he never stayed asleep long. He’s five now and anxieties and night terrors still plague him. On most days he awakens before dawn, looking to me for comfort. Years of sleep deprivation and exhaustion have made me less resilient and have taken their toll both physically and mentally. They no doubt have also taken a toll on Nicholas.”
“Not all our children were difficult from birth,” says Joan, “but I believe that most of them showed some problems early on. On the very day we brought Neil home, I had the unea Read more:Building
William Tell Overture for Moms 2007-09-28 13:10:26 Laughed till I cried! Check this out. A mom (Anita Renfroe) has condensed everything a mom might say to her kids in 24 hours into less than 3 minutes - to the tune of the William
Tell Overture
! For more from Anita Renfroe go to her site.
Building friendship through support groups - Part 11 2007-10-12 16:33:47 To create a support group of your own, visit Support. In the meantime, here's the latest installement from Sarah and Joan's group. To read the series, go to Friendship.
My child is highly sensitive.
Clearly exasperated, Mia chimes in. “And when we confront these children with their behavior, they are hurt beyond belief. I’m talking about a little slight on the school playground, or a negative comment from the teacher, those everyday assaults that life throws their way. My son seems so fragile and easily bruised. He reacts way out of proportion to any adversity. Of course his sensitivity isn’t only over hurt feelings. Mark can’t bear to have anything rub against him. The tag on the back of his shirt feels like a knife scraping his neck. He is troubled by the seams on his socks and any new clothes. He flat out refuses to wear anything but previously worn clothes, broken in and soft on his skin.
“Nicholas hates smells,” I add. “Fragrance of any kind dr Read more:Building
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