Owner: Sims Weekly World News URL:http://www.swwn.info/blog Join Date: Tue, 04 Sep 2007 17:48:43 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: All the news that is fit to read in Sim City...or not. Site statistics:Click here
Elvis buys Starbucks Coffee 2007-08-31 12:50:20 On August 16, 1977 it was announced that Elvis
Presley had left the building…permanently. Many people were shocked, distraught, some were even hysterical. Others didn’t want to believe it. Since that day there have been Elvis sightings, everything from working at a local 7-11 to training Elvis impersonators in Las Vegas. There are even reports that he had been abducted by aliens. The truth is, Elvis moved to Sim City and opened a Starbucks
. This picture was taken yesterday outside his establishment.
For those nonbelievers that doesn’t believe that is Elvis standing outside Starbucks, he invited us inside for a brief interview.
SWWN: So, Elvis, what have you been doing since the reports of your death? Some people have said they seen you working at 7-11, others claim you were abducted by aliens. What is the real story?
Elvis: Well, it’s like this. I did work at 7-11 briefly. I had to learn business management somewhere. That was after the aliens retur Read more:Coffee
Autumn Coast Canceled 2007-08-24 14:19:55 Many people were looking forward to the SimTV reality show AutumnCoast
, that would follow four people for two months as they lived in and fixed up a haunted lighthouse. Word came earlier today that the show, scheduled to premiere next week, was canceled. At the same time it was also announced that the editor of the Sims Weekly World News would be fired because of lack of spelling skills.
“He’s made a mockery of The Sims Weekly World News.” The owner of the tabloid tells us. “He can’t spell the word canceled. We can’t have someone representing us that can’t spell. It makes us look like a third rate paper and our readers won’t take us seriously. Furthermore, we are firing our web designer who is too lazy to fix the offending graphic when supplied with a corrected one.”
As for Autumn Coast, there are many rumors as to why the show is being canceled at the last moment. We have heard everything from a lawsuit filed by Stan Lee fo
KSIM Satellite Conspiracy Theory Turns Into Reality 2007-06-22 22:21:27 Over the years Sim City has seen a lot of crazy and improbable things happen. The most recent proves that sometimes conspiracy theories, no matter how far fetched, are sometimes reality.
Over the last several months, eccentric millionaire and long time resident of Sim City, Mr. Douglas Clayton, has been telling anyone that would listen to him that KSIM radio launched a spy satellite just to spy on him. Mr. Clayton’s history of conspiracy theories in Sim City is notorious. The irony is that it was by conspiracy theories that he made his 1.2 million simoleons.
He was the first resident of Sim City to spot an alien spacecraft over twenty years ago. It was that UFO sighting that inspired Douglas to invent the EMF Helmet, or Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie, to block out alien mind control devices. It was the EMF Helmet that made him rich. It took him less than a half hour to make each one and he would sell them on sBay for 20 simoleons each to others who believed in the alien ab Read more:Satellite
, Conspiracy
, Theory
, Conspiracy Theory
Gay Bigfoot Family Adopts Child 2007-05-15 22:32:42 It doesn’t take much to be a parent in Sim City, the Sim City Adoption Agency, will allow anyone adopt. This was proven once again when a child was turned over to Big and Bob Foot, a gay sasquatch couple.
Bob was amazed at how easy it was for them to become parents. “All I had to do was pick up the phone and make a phone call. There was no paperwork, no background check, no home visit. I was just told that within twenty-four hours we would have a child.”
“Our new daughter is great. You would think that she would be afraid, because we are sasquatches and all, but she accepted us right off, happy to finally have a loving family. She didn’t realize right off that we were a same sex couple, all the hair really confuses things,” Big told us. “When we explained everything she didn’t seem to have a problem with it. She’s happy to be here.”
Sims through out Sim City are appalled and shocked by this turn of events. In a city known for it Read more:Bigfoot
, Family
New Toy a Sucess! 2007-05-13 17:41:16 Many famous people have moved to Sim City and it’s surrounding suburbs over the years including Marylin Manson, Tom Cruise, and those meddling kids from Mystery Inc. Ironically, the citizens of Sim City have more enthusiasm that the creative toy designer, S. Casino, from Gobler Toys has moved into town and started a toy company.
Bob Newbie went as far as to throw a block party in Mr. Casino’s honor. “This is the best news we have ever had. Our children will have more to play with than just teddy bears. Nothing against teddy bears, we just need some variety around here.”
The first new toy that Mr. Casino designed and put into production is Mr. Bricks-a-Lot. “It’s twice as exciting as a teddy bear and does ten times the damage when small children throw it at each other.”
Sims don’t seem to be concerned that toys have officially become more dangerous. “It’s part of their appeal.” Samantha from inciner
Rain in Sim City? 2007-04-24 12:40:48 For the first time in their lives, many sims experienced rain. Sim City has always been known as the city where it’s always 80, sunny and the weather never changes. In a city that is used to alien abductions, vampires, werewolves and other oddities, you would think the citizens could handle a little rain. “I blame global warming for this.” Bob Newbie, who was less than impressed, told us. Other sims were more excited.
“It was great seeing rain. The last time I saw rain I was on tour in Japan, I am big there you know. I considered running outside and dancing naked in it, but I wasn’t sure what the neighbors would think. Trent Reznor told us. “If my camera crew would have been here, don’t think I wouldn’t have done it. It would have made great footage for my next music video.”
The rain did confuse the children. Many of them thought that there was a hole in the sky. Others told us that they thought that rain was somethin
Fire at Reticulated Splines Factory Leaves Sims Without Splines 2007-04-20 23:42:51 Today in Sim City a fire broke out in the top floor lunch room of the Sim City Spline Reticulating Factory
. The fire spread so quickly that the factory was burned to the ground before firefighters could get the blaze under control.
The building was somewhat of a historical landmark. Built in 1850 it was the only factory that reticulated splines over the years. Sim City has seen many spline factories come and go over the years that were unsuccessful because they didn’t offer reticulated splines.
Citizens are upset over the loss of the factory. Bob Newbie was found in a fetal position next to the rubble crying. “There is nowhere to get reticulated splines now. Whatever will we do?” He could be heard sobbing as the men in the white coats loaded him into the ambulance.
Yes, this is a huge loss for Sim City. Ironically we couldn’t find a single sim that could tell us what a reticulated spline was, but they all had to have them. They have become a part of pop culture
Ramen Noodles…Tasty Food or Dangerous Substance? 2007-04-16 00:57:15
In a recent study done in Sim City it was discovered that sims who cooked ramen noodles in the microwave had a 75% increase in fires than sims that did not. There are currently three theories. The first theory on faulty microwaves was thrown out because it only happens when cooking ramen noodles. The second theory is that ramen noodles are highly flammable. The third theory brings into question the ability of sims to properly prepare ramen noodles.
Dr. Vermicelli, who is heading up the study, tells us “It’s not that hard to cook ramen noodles, so I am having a hard time believing that is the cause. However, we have mailed out IQ tests to everyone in Sim City and the surrounding suburbs. Hopefully we will get enough of them back to rule out general stupidity.”
There has been some concern with other scientists around Sim City Labs about mailing out the IQ tests and allowing sims to take them at home. They are concerned that people will use the internet to look up the answe Read more:hellip
, Tasty
, Substance
Burglers Union Complians (archive) 2007-04-13 19:38:00 Once again, someone in Sim City is complaining about the absurd. This time we learned something valuable from it. Sim City has a burglars union, and they are unhappy. What about the people who are robbed, shouldn’t they be the unhappy ones? They really don’t seem to mind. “It’s what professional burglars do. They need to work too.” One citizen told us.The Sim City Burglars Union
(SCBU) was founded five years ago by Carlito Bandito. The union was formed originally to help lobby for laws against guard dogs after many burglars complained about dog attacks, especially bites to their ass. Over the years they have tried to lobby against burglar alarms and tried to convince people that their houses should be painted by colour code where they would know who had the good stuff.
The complaints from the union this time are about uniforms. Burglars in Sim City have always been required to dress in a black and white stripped shirt, black jeans, black hat and gloves. To
SWWN Archives: Sacred Hamburger Found in Medical Dummy 2007-04-09 09:06:00 Loki Beaker was surprised to find a hamburger in a medical dummy that he ordered from the Sims Home Shopping Network. “That was the last thing that I expected to find in there. I thought that someone at Dummies R Us had accidentally put left his lunch behind but that wasn’t the case.”The hamburger that Loki found just happened to be the Sacred Hamburger
of King Winkie. For those who are new to Sim City, or slept through history class, King Winkie was ruler of Sim City back in 986 BC. Some said he was crazy, but it was his obsession for the perfect hamburger that drove him. The story goes that once his chefs had mastered the skill, Winkie took one bite and had the hamburger preserved forever. That hamburger was believed to be lost forever. It was delivered to the Beaker house where Loki found it while practicing his dissecting skills.
The hamburger has since been turned over to the Sim City University for further study. “We can’t wait to find out wha Read more:Archives
, Dummy
September 26, 2007 Downloads 2007-09-26 21:16:00 Just a handful of t-shirts that I have been working on here and there over the last few days. I have been working on a custom Sim project for a friend that has been taking up a lot of my time. It is my goal to have it done by the end of the week. As usual, the .rar file contains both male and female versions of the shirts. First up are sim versions of some rather rude t-shirts I found on various websites that made me giggle a bit.
Humanity
WTFWJD?
I hated Bush before it was cool
For English…
Jesus Saves
The other day we went to Chipotle’s to get dinner. Next door is our local EB Gamestop store. At 5:00 in the afternoon people were already lining up outside with with their lawn chairs for the midnight release of Halo 3. I was inspired…
Download Read more:September
, Downloads
Scientists are Wrong - The World is Flat 2007-09-26 12:36:56 Originally it was thought that the world was flat and that ships would sail right off the edge. Later it was proven that the world was round. Over the years many scientists have questioned if the research involved was faulty. Today, The Sims Weekly World
News brings indisputable proof that the world is indeed flat.
The following photo taken from a house on the edge of the earth has been checked five times by different photo labs, including Kodak, to certify that the picture has not been tampered with and that it is authentic.
“If you look at the picture, you can clearly see the water line and you can see that the water goes under the deck of this house.” Professor Columbus of Sim City Institute for Geologic Impossibilities explained. “The upside-down mountain things are actually the underwater landforms. You can actually see fish swimming around. Now what we need to figure out is why the fish don’t go floating into space since everything just ends. You Read more:Wrong
New Sims Playthings Toy Lab Unviels Two New Toys 2007-09-22 00:40:03 Four months may not seem like a long time, but in Sim City a lot can take place. The weirdness is a constant catalyst for change and you never know what is going to happen. When we did a brief interview with Steve Casino, toy designer for Gobler Toys, four months ago and didn’t hear from him again despite several unreturned phone calls, we didn’t think anything of it. We heard rumors of alien abduction as well as a kidnapping conspiracy headed up by Bob Newbie to obtain three thousand Mr. Bricks-a-Lot toys to sell on the sBay black market. Mr. Newbie has denied those rumors and claims there was never any truth to them. “Sbay’s black market sucks. You could get more for something at a yard sale.”
So, what happened to Mr. Casino? Were the alien abduction rumor true? Did the conspiracy theory hold water? In a town where alien abductions happen almost daily and conspiracy theories are more accurate than fortune cookie papers anything could be possible
New House 2007-09-21 12:21:36 Originally I wasn’t going to post this house for download, I was making it just where I would have something I could mess around with and change decor on to make a promo video for a friends internet radio show. I then decided that I spent all that time on it, it was defiantly an original so I might was well. Since I had no original intentions of posting it when I started there is some custom content. There are some trees that can be found over at Wood for Sims and the spiral stairs came from ModtheSims2. I originally had Maxis default stairs in the house but when I found the spiral stairs, I decided they would work much better.
Download Read more:House
September 18 Downloads 2007-09-18 01:31:13 I made lots of goodies for everyone this time around. There is one dress that I don’t remember where I got the mesh from, if you recognize it please let me know where I can put credit up or take it down if that is what the creator wants. There are 7 different Foamy the Squirrel t-shirts and 8 more t-shirts sporting tattoo flash art. This time around the theme I picked was skulls. Each rar file contains both the male and female shirt. I didn’t make a male version the dress, I just wasn’t that motivated. Besides, I don’t think men look good in strapless numbers ;-).
French Fry Shirts
Human Idiocy Shirts
Nuts Shirts
Side Effects Shirts
Squirrely Wrath Shirts
Foamy Shirts
Zen of Anger Shirts
Shirt 1 Shirt 2 Shirt 3 Shirt 4
Shirt 5 Shirt 6 Shirt 7 Shirt 8
&nb Read more:September
, Downloads
LOLSimCats 2007-09-15 09:43:33 One of my favorite websites is I Can Has Cheezeburger, it has the funniest lolcats on the internet. At least I think so. I mean, there are other lolcat websites out there, but none of them make me laugh as much as ICHC. After checking out the new captioned pictures that were up yesterday I decided I wanted to play lolcat with pictures of sim cats. I have also decided that if anyone wants to submit lolsimcats to the site, I will be more than happy to put up a page for them. You can email your submissions to georga@simsweeklyworldnews.com.
September 14 Downloads 2007-09-14 19:35:48 Today I bring you a house that took me three days to make because I couldn’t get it where I was happy with it. I have also gone off on a tangent of creating t-shirts with tattoo flash art on them. The first collection is eight mens shirts with pin up girls on them.
Download House
Download shirts
I love these flash poll things. In order to use them I have to ask a question…so here is your chance to give me some feedback without leaving a comment…like anyone ever leaves comments….;P
geolocation Read more:September
, Downloads
September 11 2007-09-11 13:28:59 It’s been 6 years today that the US experienced one of the worlds greatest terrorist attacks. 2996 people died that day. I created 8 shirts (4 male, 4 female) in remembrance of that day because I am sure, if sims were real people, they would want to show their respect to those that died that day. Well, at least my sims would, they are like that. I also wanted an excuse to post to the blog that I wrote for the 2996 project last year here. I originally had it up on the Blue Doodle thinking that it would be there forever, but I didn’t realize that 1. None of the submissions there were archived and 2. That the Blue Doodle was not going to last more than 6 months.
For those of you that only show up for the downloads, I will put those up first where you can go along your merry way. Each rar file has both the male and female shirt in it. For people who actually read what I write, the tribute blog follows.
Download Eagle Tribute Shirt One
Download Eagle Tribute Shirt Two
Do Read more:September
September 7, 2007 Downloads 2007-09-07 20:26:54 Three days without internet and I had nothing better to do but play the Sims. Such good fortune that Bon Voyage just came out and I was feeling creative. There is a second part to the good fortune of having Bon Voyage. I got to put up my Seasons disk. It’s threatening to not work. Somehow it cracked around the inside hole (does that thing have an official name?) and the crack is threatening to venture into actual disk area. It’s safely packed away where no more damage occurs. Hopefully I won’t have to reformat the computer or reinstall the Sims anytime soon.
Now, the downloads.
I haven’t made any neighborhoods in a long time since I needed to replace my copy of Sim City 4. So, internet-less I created three neighborhoods as well as two houses. Enjoy.
I was inspired (or possessed) to name the first two neighborhoods after llamas. Wednesday was the first time while playing Sim City that I seen the random message “hunting llamas” come up and I Read more:September
, Downloads
Forbidden is Forbidden 2007-09-05 18:26:59
This time last year Christine Dolce, AKA Forbidden
, was one of the biggest celebrities on myspace spawning 44 fake profiles of people who wanted to be her. She was so popular in fact that PlaySim had to have her do a photo spread. She even graced them with a short video of her doing her ever popular pee pee dance.
Today, things aren’t looking so good for her popularity. Her pee pee dance video has been removed from YouTube where it had gained a cult following with a 4.5 rating and 18,880 views.
Many sims do not understand why this happened. After all, even sims that have undergone various forms of plastic surgery and augmentation still have the sex appeal of a Barbie doll. Since when are naked sims inappropriate? “At some point every sim has been naked and doing the pee pee dance. Forbidden just did it better than the rest of us. I know many sims that tried to copy her style and never got it quite right.” Bob Newbie told us. So, if sims don’t find
September 30 Downloads 2007-09-29 23:38:08 Today I have a lighthouse and 12 wallpapers for download.
Download Lighthouse
Download Blue Set
Download Pink Set
Download Black Set Read more:September
, Downloads
Moving 2007-10-08 09:46:25 I just wanted to let everyone know that the reason for lack of updates (either news stories or downloads - I have no idea why people come here) is that we are in the process of moving. I know, everyone hates moving. Try being me and doing it with seven kids. No, that wasn’t a typo.
I will get some stuff up as soon as time allows, including the winner of the Miss Sim City contest.
Read more:Moving
Miss Sim City Update 2007-10-04 19:08:27 With tomorrow night being the deadline for entries for the Miss Sim City contest, pageant officials are less than hopeful. There have only been two entrants and one was disqualified earlier this morning. “If no one else enters, Toni Dallas wins by default.” One of the judges told us off the record. “I am not sure that she is the best candidate to represent Sim City. However, we will do what we have to do.”
Jessica Small was disqualified earlier this morning after the judges watched the talent tape that was sent in. “Jessica wasn’t disqualified because of prejudice. I want to nip that rumor in the bud right now. There was clearly a violation of the rules.”
Which rule was that? The one that states that contestants must be female.
In the following picture Jessica appears female enough
“If Jessica had submitted a video with a normal talent, and not one showcasing the process of going from male to female, complete with fak Read more:Update
October 15 Downloads 2007-10-15 21:36:26 I hate moving. I really really do. If anyone can come up with something more stressful than moving…with seven kids…I will be totally amazed. However, no internet for a few days means making stuff for the sims. I have lots of goodies for everyone today. The first item is a house. I tried to make a starter home, but I can never keep it under $20,000. I came close this time. There are also 15 wallpapers, another Foamy the Squirrel shirt, 8 Gothic Charm School shirts, 6 myspace shirts and two tattooed skins, one male one female. The male sim that comes with the skin is based on my tattoo artist, complete with his 3 Inches of Blood t-shirt. I say based on because he is covered in tattoos and I am afraid that I couldn’t duplicate them. Also, the dreads aren’t right (I hate sim hair). There is custom facial hair with it that I had to make (my first facial hair!!). Let’s just say that my tattoo guy is one of a kind and getting the sim this close was Read more:October
, Downloads
The Internet is for Porn 2007-10-23 19:30:04
Get great free widgets at <a href=”http://www.widgetbox.com”>Widgetbox</a>!
YouTube Link
Please feel free to visit the YouTube link and rate the video.
Read more:Internet
Sims Numa Numa (Dragostea Din Tei by O-Zone) 2007-10-31 17:45:47
Get great free widgets at <a href=”http://www.widgetbox.com”>Widgetbox</a>!
THE LOVE UNDER THE LIME-TREE
Ma-ia-hii
Ma-ia-huu
Ma-ia-hoo
Ma-ia-haa (x 5)
Hello, hi, it’s me, a knight
and please, my love, receave the happiness
Hello, hello, it’s me, Picasso
I made you a ring and I’m pretty
But you must know I’m asking you nothing
You want to go but you don’t, you don’t take me with you
You don’t, you don’t take me with you, you don’t, you don’t, you don’t take me with you
You’re face and the love under the lime-tree
remember me your eyes (x 2)
I call, to tell you, to tell you what I feel, now
Hello, my love, it’s me, the happiness
Hello, hello, it’s me again, Picasso,
I made you a ring and I’m pretty
But you must know I’m asking you nothing
You want to go but you don’t, you don’t take me with you
You don’t, you don&rs
October 29 Downloads 2007-10-29 12:04:26 Ok, I admit it, I haven’t made anything in a while because I have been too busy making machinima with the Sims. If you haven’t seen the videos they are The Internet is for Porn, Dead Mans Party, and Tonight (my “official Halloween video” of the year. Last years was This is Halloween).
I posted a poll the other day wanting to know what everyones favorite thing is on the website. I don’t know how much it will affect what I put up here or not, but I am curious. I really have no idea why people come to my website. The site is mostly up here where I have something to amuse myself with. It’s an added benefit if others are amused along the way. So, please, give me your two cents.
Now, on with the downloads.
It’s cliche, but I had to do Halloween downloads like everyone else.
Download Womens Shirts
This is my costume shirt
Jack-o-lantern shirt
&n Read more:October
, Downloads
Amborwood 2007-11-25 10:50:38 I spent an obnoxious amount of time working on this house, it’s why there hasn’t been any updates in a while. I was also checking out Sim City Societies. If you like Sim City you will like Sim City Societies. The game play has been changed from zoning areas to building up [...]
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