My New Wheels
2007-08-30 03:55:00
As you know, I thought about getting a new car, I bought a pre-owned used car (despite crappy service) which was hit and rendered undriveable thereby whirling me back into the world of car buying. Ugh.Since the previous car obviously wasn't meant to be mine, I decided I would do even more research and figure out exactly what car was the right one for me.I test drove sedans, big SUVs, little SUVs, and minivans. I test drove Hondas, Toyotas, Subarus, Nissans, Saturns, Chryslers, Dodges, Fords, Chevys, and VWs.I decided:* I don't want a small SUV (because Gavin has one).* I wasn't going to get another big SUV. That was a bust.* Even though I like the option of extra seating, I don't want a minivan.* I should get leather seats (thanks for the advice, Sara!) because they are easier to clean should when the kids puke. Or spill something.* I want functionality.* I want room.* I don't want a sedan.Which lead me to this conclusion.... I need a station wagon. (Very RetroMama, I know.) No
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It Might Be Time To Wean
2007-08-27 20:18:00
Now that Elise is one year old, I don't worry so much about breastfeeding. She often prefers cow milk. But there are still moments when she wants to nurse and I indulge her because there is a part of me that isn't quite ready to accept that we don't have a baby in the house anymore.This morning was not one of those moments.Elise asked to nurse, so I put her on. Quickly, she decided she was done. Often, when she does this, she just wants a quick break before resuming nursing. So I put her back on.And she got mad.She let out a yell, reached out, grabbed my boob... and twisted.Gavin laughed. Then he whispered to me, "She's such a woman!"Yes, I think it's time to wean.
Blog Makeover
2007-08-25 13:48:00
The beginning of the school year is a great time to start new: to redefine yourself, to sharpen your goals and to make new goals. To that end, it was time for a makeover. Thanks to Heather, this blog has a great new look!If you're looking for a new look, check her out! (She did Sarah's design, too!) Heather was fantastic to work with. And now I'm struttin' my new look. Yay me!
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What Did He Say?
2007-08-23 18:18:00
This morning, Nicholas was talking about the addition we built on our house two years ago. In particular, he was naming all the rooms and the things in the house that were 'old.'Nicholas - My room. Elise's room...Gavin - What's he talking about?Shauna - He's listing all the things in the house that are old.Nicholas - That bathroom. The garage.Gavin - What about your mom?Shauna - WHAT!?!Gavin - Yeah. I think your mom is old.Shauna - (whispering in Gavin's ear) Yeah. I'm thinking it'll be awhile before you see these bad girls up close and personal.
Dear Neighbor
2007-08-20 21:30:00
I've got a proposition for you...You can sit in your garage, drink beer and sing karaoke to all hours of the night. I'll even stop complaining about you peeing in your yard.If you never ever say this to your kids ever again:Why is your hand dirty? What the fuck? Fuckin' shit. Fuckin' asshole. Get into the fuckin' house and wash your fuckin' hands. Shit.Deal?
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The Day In Which I Wondered If My Husband Was Gay
2007-08-16 14:59:00
Gavin and I have been together for 18 years (well, married for 8, but together for 18). So you’d think I know him pretty well by now and wouldn’t be surprised by much. After all, you get into a rut after awhile. (Right, Heather?) But when I got home today, I had an entirely new experience.When I walked into the house, I noticed Gavin had vacuumed. The house looked great!I walked past the laundry room and the washer was going. And there was a bottle of Tide Simple Pleasures "Rose and Violet" on the floor.Shauna: Hey, Gav. Who gave us the laundry detergent?Gavin: No one. I bought it.S: You bought it? That one?G: Yeah.S: Why?G: I thought it would be nice to use on our sheets. Help us sleep better.S: Oh. (pause) You went to the store?G: Yeah. I needed a couple of things.S: And you saw the detergent when you were there.G: Yeah.S: And you bought it?G: Yeah. Your shampoo was on sale so I got you some.S: My shampoo?G: Yeah.S: You know what shampoo I use? Really?G: Yeah.S: And you bought so
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In How Many Languages Can You Say "Holy Shit"?
2007-08-15 14:30:00
Remember the pre-owned used car I bought despite the crappy service? Well, the hits just keep on coming...Yesterday was the birthday for one of my staff, so we went to lunch. While at lunch, my car was hit while in the parking lot. This wasn't a fender bender. This was a "you must have been going too fucking fast in a parking lot" bender. And one wheel was hit hard, bending the axle and rendering the car undrivable. Thank goodness no one was hurt (as far as I know since the person who wrecked the car didn't leave a note).My insurance company towed the car and I just found out the car is considered "totalled." Which means they are paying me off for the car.Obviously, this was not meant to be the car for me. So, I'm back in the market for a car. At least the car insurance company is paying for a rental.I think I need to crawl into a cave for a couple of weeks.
Read more: Languages
, Holy Shit
If My Husband Had A Blog...
2007-08-14 17:49:00
If Gavin had a blog, surely this would be one of his posts:I have the best wife. I don't know where I'd be without her.If it weren't for her, I would have had food poisoning multiple times. She throws everything out of the fridge before it goes bad. And even though I think she's overreacting (you can eat around the fuzz, right?), she means well and I love her. If it weren't for her, I would get the shits and cry like a baby not feel well and I wouldn't want her to have to take care of me.My beloved Shauna, she's so organized. If I can’t find something, all I have to do is ask here where anything is. It's a good thing I don't bother to put anything away because I'd just put it away in the wrong place. This way, she puts it away for me and I don't even need to think.My beloved Shauna, she wakes my lazy ass when I fall asleep on the couch. She says it's because I'm snoring too loud but I know it's really because she wants me to sleep in a comfortable bed and get a good nig
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Another F*cking Recall!
2007-08-14 01:31:00
They sure make it hard for us to keep our kids from ingesting lead paint, don't they? I can't believe another recall will be announced... tomorrow. I think I'm going to lock my kids in a bubble now.
Chinese Executive Kills Self Amid Recall
2007-08-13 14:36:00
BEIJING (AP) - The head of a Chinese
manufacturer whose lead-tainted Sesame Street toys were the center of a massive U.S. recall has killed himself, a state-run newspaper said Monday.Cheung Shu-hung, who co-owned Lee Der Industrial Co., committed suicide at a warehouse over the weekend, apparently by hanging himself, the Southern Metropolis Daily reported."When I rushed there around 5 p.m., police had already sealed off the area," the newspaper quoted a manager surnamed Liu as saying. "I saw that our boss had two deep marks in his neck."Though the report did not give a reason for Cheung's apparent suicide _ and the company declined to discuss the matter _ Lee Der was under pressure in a global controversy over the safety of Chinese made products.This month, Mattel Inc., one of the largest U.S. toy companies, was forced to recall 967,000 plastic preschool toys made by Lee Der because they were decorated with paint found to have excessive amounts of lead. The toys, sold in the U.S. unde
Read more: Executive
, Kills
My Little Shitling
2007-08-13 14:00:00
This weekend, Nicholas was a little shit. I don't know what his deal was, but he didn't listen, he acted out, he threw tantrums. He disobeyed me and broke a glass jewelry box I had on my dresser while climbing on my dresser to get a toy I had confiscated from him. All around, he was just a little shit. All weekend long.Today, I'm happy to be at work.
The Deleted Post
2007-08-11 19:21:00
Some of you might be looking for a post I deleted.It actually wasn't supposed to be published.... At least not yet.I was working on a bunch of posts/ideas. Brainstorming, polishing some of them up/uploading pictures and then the cat (the damn cat!) jumped on my laptop and the computer fell on the floor and dammit the thing got published. (It also looks like the door to my CD drive is now broken.)Looks like I need to come up with some new ideas for blog posts. :( Argh!
The Beautiful People
2007-08-11 18:57:00
Last night, Gavin and I went on a date – a real date! We left the kids with a sitter and went out for dinner. It made our day when we were carded after ordering a bottle of wine. We proudly showed our IDs. Yes, we’re over 21, but not much (snort!). And then the waiter stopped. He examined the IDs. He took them to the bar. Then he came back. “I’m so sorry, I had to take these to my manager because I didn’t think you were in your 30s.” Gavin and I beamed with pride. Gavin told him, “Would you believe we’ve got 2 kids?” The waiter said he didn’t. To which Gavin said, “Yes, and we feel much younger when we’re not with them!” Later, the manager stopped by our table to check on our meals and commented on our IDs. “This is the table of the beautiful people!” he said. Shauna likey that restaurant. Waiter likey the big fat tip.
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OCD Much?
2007-08-09 18:14:00
I took the kids to see my parents this weekend. In preparation for our visit, my dad took out my brother's old lego for Nicholas. We're talking about 25+ year old Lego. In the original box.With the price tag still attached. $32 in the 1980s!And since the Lego was old and dusty, my Dad washed each piece. Then sorted them by like pieces and bagged like-pieces together. Can you say OCD?I couldn't help but think, "Wow, that's a great idea!" Then I thought, "Will I be as neurotic as my father when I'm old?" And that thought scared the crap out of me because the answer was YES! Uh oh...
Garage Doors, Car Doors. Oh My!
2007-08-06 13:37:00
I haven't been having a lot of luck around doors lately. It started last week when our garage door went kaput. As I was leaving in the morning (with the kids - Gavin was gone already), the garage door wouldn't open. After some investigation, I figured out I couldn't fix the problem myself.But, since I needed to get my car out of the garage, I needed to manually open the garage door. Yes, I needed to lift the fucker sucker by myself. Now I'm not a tall woman; I'm shorter than your grandmother with osteoporosis petite. I got the damn thing open. I thought I was going to bust an atery or give myself a hernia, but I got it open.I left the garage door open and drove away. (You've got to be kidding if you think I was going to close the damn thing after that. After all, I wanted to be able to put my car back in the garage when I came home.) And I called the garage door company and asked when they could send someone out to take a look at it.We've had a lot of problems with our garage do
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, Doors
Dena Vs. Shauna
2007-08-02 18:32:00
My sister-in-law, Dena (Gavin's brother's wife), has always set up a competition between the two of us. And I've never understood why.When Gavin and I got engaged (after being together for 9 years), she asked Matt, "Are you going to let your younger brother get married before you?" Matt's response? "Yes. Because they've been together forever and we're not ready to get married!"And when we got pregnant before them, she commented to me about how I would be the one to bear the first grandchild and how happy our in-laws were. And how she wouldn't bear anyone's first grandchild (her younger sister already had the first grandchildren for her parents).Then when I was pregnant with Elise, it was the same thing - not only had I borne the first grandchild, but I was also then bearing the first granddaughter. Shame on me again!And now she's pregnant with her #2. And it's a girl. (Phew.) I am so relieved. Not only will Elise have a girl cousin to play with, but Dena won't be able to say
I’m Not Sure If I Should Be Proud Or Insulted
2007-08-01 16:47:00
Gavin - It’s so cute how you snore. Shauna - What? Gavin - Yeah. When either of the kids stirs at night, you stop snoring. And when the kid goes back to sleep, you start snoring away again.
Read more: Proud
Breastpumps
2007-07-31 15:31:00
As I'm washing the parts of my breastpump at work, people often feel the need to comment. Yesterday's comments were more amusing than most…- Don't you wish your husband could breastfeed? When I was breastfeeding I wished my husband could. But then I realized he would have bigger boobs than me and I didn't wish for that anymore.- I always felt like I was using some sort of alien probe when I used my breastpump.- Boy, those suckers haven't changed in 13 years. And I do mean suckers.
Because You Need Another Car Story From Me
2007-07-30 15:46:00
As you know, I bought a pre-owned used car last month.(If you remember the story, you can skip this paragraph.) Since the car was still under warranty, I had them look at it. It had some minor work to be done and so they worked on it before I brought it home. And because they would never give me a straight answer about the status of my car, I got frustrated and went to the dealership owner and complained. He upgraded my loaner and gave me a gift certificate for a nice restaurant.Very soon after that, my car was ready (no, we didn't take the loaner to the beach and get sand in it). When I picked it up, I asked to see the dealership owner, Allen. I explained I didn't want anything from them. I just wanted the level of service to change - and it did - so I returned the gift certificate. Because I cannot be bought. They were dumbfounded. So I left it on Allen's desk and drove away in my car. (Yay!)The next day, I received flowers at my office from the dealership. A really gorgeous arra
The Obsession Over My Boobs
2007-07-25 13:56:00
Apparently, you aren't the only ones who like to talk about my boobs. Last night, I asked Nicholas to draw a picture of our family. He started by drawing me. Then he drew Elise "in Mommy's lap." And then he drew "Mommy's breasts because Elise is sucking on them." Lovely.I stopped him there. I had a feeling he'd draw his penis when he drew himself. To which Gavin said, "He can draw my penis. As long as he draws it big. You know, because it is." Nicholas replied, "Yeah Dad, your penis is HUGE!" Gavin was very proud.
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It's A....
2007-07-24 13:20:00
Thanks to everyone who voted for the gender of this baby. Apparently the baby is usually dressed in white onesies, which adds to the confusion. My friend (who only kind-of knows the mother) told the mother what some of you said - when babies are this little, it's often hard to tell. She also suggested to dress the baby in gender specific clothes when they go out to avoid the confusion but the mother said it's too much of a hassle to change the baby's clothes when they go out. Oh well, I guess she'll have to learn to deal with the confusion if you aren't going to give people any help.As for your guesses... I'm gonna break it down because I'm a nerd that way.12 (44%) said boy1 (4%) said you thought the baby was a girl so guessed boy10 (37%) said girl4 (15%) said you thought the baby was a boy so guessed girlSo, I think it was pretty evenly split between boy and girl guesses. So what is the baby? (.....drum roll.....)It's a girl!Thanks for playing, everyone!
Boy or Girl?
2007-07-21 18:14:00
I got an e-mail from a friend. She knows someone who has a friend or cousin or dogwalker (I don't remember the details) who has a baby; and said baby is always being confused as being the wrong gender.And this upsets the baby's mother. So this poor woman sent out pictures of her baby and asked all her friends whether the baby is a boy or a girl. But since my friend already knows the gender of the baby, she didn't think it was fair for her to say objectively whether the baby looks like the other sex. So she asked my opinion. I gave it to her and I asked whether I was right.Here's the baby. What do you think? Is this Patrick or Patricia?P.s. I'll tell you whether I guessed correctly - and the baby's gender - tomorrow.
Sour Skittles
2007-07-19 13:20:00
Apparently many of you come to my blog for my boob stories. (Gavin will be so proud.) But anyway, this isn't a story about my boobs, but it's a boob story nonetheless.I'm sure I'm not the only one who has seen the commercial for sour skittles. And I'm sure I'm behind the times on this, but since Gavin and I live and die by our TiVo, we never watch commercials. So, as we were fast-forwarding through commercials last night, Gavin said, "STOP! You have to go back. I want to see that commercial." And we watched it. Three times. Because Gavin couldn't stop laughing. He couldn't decide if he was laughing because he thought it was funny, laughing because he was horrified or laughing because he was uncomfortable. Being a breastfeeding mother, I was a little offended, although I couldn't really put my finger on why. I just was. What's your take?(Sorry, I couldn't get the video to load. Click here to view the commercial on You Tube.)
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NC-17
2007-07-17 13:31:00
No doubt because I talk about my boobs, my nephew's penis, car salesmen, and my non-existent sex-life.
It's Going To Be One Of Those Days
2007-07-16 14:42:00
Ever have one of those days where you wake up and you know it's going to be one of those days where the world shits on you? And when you think that there can't possibly get any worse, you get shit on again? Today is one of those days.It actually started last night. Elise came down with the runs. She had three nasty diapers in the hour before bed. She woke twice overnight with more nasty poopy diapers, and wanted to be held, comforted and nursed to sleep.Nicholas woke up at 5 AM (five! frickin'! o'clock!) this morning, climbed into bed with us and talked incessantly about the toy he wanted to buy with the gift card he was given for his birthday. He suddenly leapt out of bed only to have an pee accident. I cleaned him and the floor and climbed back to bed only to have the alarm go off 10 minutes later. On full blast. Apaprently, as he was chattering, Nicholas was playing with the volume knob on my alarm clock.Elise started screaming, a sure sign she had yet another nasty diaper for m
Read more: Going
I Almost Gave Myself A Stroke
2007-08-31 14:26:00
This morning, as I was taking him to school, Nicholas wanted to count. So we counted. We're working with him on memorizing the 10s (10, 20, 30...) because once he gets those memorized, he'll be able to count on and on and on (which, you know, is fantastic for my sanity while driving a 2000 pound vehicle on a crowded highway. Ha!).Nicholas: 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39.....[pause]Shauna: What's next, hon?N: I dunno.S: Think.N: I'm thinking. Um... Forty!S: Good job!N: 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49...[pause][long pause]S: Fifty! C'mon... You know it... It's fifty. Still thinking?N: Yeah.[pause][long pause][even longer pause]S: Need help? Cause I just want to give you the answer!N: Not yet, Mom. I'm still thinking!S: Okay. Please come up with it soon. Don't leave me hanging like this!N: Um... Okay. Oh! Fifty!S: Whew! Okay. Let's stop there for today.N: No, Mom. I want to keep going. 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59. There. Now we can stop.S: Niko, let's not stop at 5
Read more: Almost
, Stroke
Holy Moly!
2007-09-24 17:14:00
Nicholas walked in on me as I was getting out of the shower and said, "Holy moly, Mom! That's your vaginus!" I scurried him out of the bathroom and heard him say to Gavin, "Dad, why is Mom's vaginus so small? It's not big like my penis!"*sigh*Just when he got over being obsessed with my boobs... Looks like he'll be obsessed with my "vaginus" now.
Blogga Blogga Bling Bling
2007-09-21 08:11:00
Please don't mistaken me for an ingrate. I really do appreciate the awards from my friends. I don't know how I managed to neglect these for so long. I blame it on reverse menopause which can make a girl go crazy.But really, that's just no excuse, is it?Jennifer and Nicole said I'm a nice blogger, and I hope they haven't changed their minds about that or I'll have to turn in my awards - and that's not going to happen. :)It also looks like I need plant a big wet on Jessica for the Big Fat Kiss Award. And one on Jenny for the "This Blog Kicks Donkey Butt" Award, which is really much better than the "this blog is written by a donkey butt" award which I think I totally deserve by being late in thanking everyone... You girls sure know how to make a girl proud. Because every girl loves her some blogga blogga bling bling.Mmmm-wah!
Read more: Bling
The Difference Between Men and Women...
2007-09-18 13:10:00
The difference between men and women is...- When men get sick, they are babies and stay in bed all day. When women get sick, they suck it up and take care of the kids.- When men get sick, they still want to have sex. When women get sick, they don't want to have sex because they are tired from being sick and taking care of the kids.- When men get sick, they won't even get out of bed. When women get sick, they still go to the store to get food to feed everyone else.- Men think that wiping the sink constitutes "cleaning the bathroom." Women
know how to disinfect.- Men put their dirty clothes next to the hamper. Women put their dirty clothes in the hamper. - Men throw all the dirty laundry into one load. Women sort the laundry so that everything doesn't turn gray.I could go on for days... but the stomach flu is rampant in our house, so I leave you to finish the list... Thanks!
I'm Not A GapMom, But I Play One On TV
2007-09-13 15:05:00
Last night was the first PTA meeting for Nicholas' school. And make no mistake: it's run by GapMoms.GapMoms without the sense to banish the catalog fundraiser.GapMoms who say they want people's opinions and when people give their opinions, don't listen.GapMoms who asked if anyone had suggestions on how to get more families involved. So I mentioned that it would be good to alternate the day of the meeting so that parents who are unable to attend on Wednesdays might be able to attend on another day. Of course, there would be no day where all families are able to attend, but by alternating the day, potentially more parents can participate some of the time rather than leaving some parents unable to participate at all - and thus leaving the GapMoms do it all (one of their complaints).They liked this idea.But when it came time to schedule the next meeting, the GapMoms decided that since everyone there (except me) said Wednesdays are a good day to meet, they would have the next meeting on
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