Owner: J's corner of randomness URL:http://i-am-random-j.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Tue, 28 Aug 2007 13:05:39 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: Gaming news, random goings on and insightful outlooks on sh*t from the perspective of a 20 something year old UK gamer. This blog will corrupt your mind and you will like it! :D Site statistics:Click here
Britney Spears 2007 VMA performance (uncensored) 2007-09-13 16:07:00 I'm sure some of you have heard about BritneySpears
' train wreck VMA performance a few nights back. Well in case you didn't catch it, here's a cool summary of the whole thing.That was pretty much the whole performance. If anything, the clip above features more choreography that what Britney herself managed to pull off. Imagine Homer Simoson walking up and down a stage for 3 minutes in a bra, hot pants, knee length boots and a weave that looks like the hair of the scarecrow from The wizard of Oz and that is pretty much Britney's '07 VMA performance. It's a damn shame, because I really do like the song.To make matters even worse, Britney hit the town later that night wearing a dress with no knickers and once again the paps caught several shots of her woo-woo. Britney obviously has no concept of the term 'Damage control'. The bitch needs help. She pretty much just headshot her own career.Tags: Britney Spears
, Gimme more, Humour, MTV, Train wreck, VMA, YouTube
Read more:uncensored
Play with pussy on the Nintendo DS 2007-09-13 12:27:00 Sega have a new game on the way for the Nintendo
DS which is pretty much Nintendogs with Cats instead of Dogs! It's officially titled Dream Cat. But I think that title is shit and lacks impact. So instead, I'll be calling it Care for pussy DS.Given what a mammoth success Nintendogs was (and still is), you can bet this game will end up shifting millions. Though some may criticize Sega for pretty much ripping off every aspect of Nintendogs right down to the interface. The game looks exactly the same except your virtual pet is able to interact with the scenery by climbing all over it and that users are able to decorate their living space by placing in new furniture, tables, wall units and even a flat screen TV! If this game allows for you to starve your Cat to death and beat it for climbing onto furniture, knocking the flat screen over, not obeying you or not doing tricks - then I'm so buying this. Nintendo would never condone animal cruelty in their games. But given Sega's butchering
Beth Llewelyn leaves Nintendo 2007-09-29 06:15:00 Nintendo are currently on the brink of a huge relocation from Redmond to San Francisco and New York. As a result, inevitably quite a few members of staff will be leaving the company. Old geezer George Harrison recently announced he will be leaving Nintendo and Beth Llewelyn will be doing the same. I actually cared a little about George Harrison leaving. He always came across as a decent fella. A bit like that cool uncle who says way too much - way more than he should. Beth Llewelyn on the other hand just seemed like an anybody. I don't even know what she did for Nintendo. She should be grateful they didn't sack her. If I was a CEO at Nintendo I would've sacked her with the upmost quickness. I would've lashed out at her and blamed her for shit she couldn't have possibly have had anything to do with. I would've blamed her for the failure of the GameCube, the crappy sales of Metroid Prime 2 and Rare turning crap. Why? *shrugs* I don't know.I wish her all the best, but she ain't i Read more:leaves
, Nintendo
PokéRape in Super Smash Bros. Brawl 2007-09-28 03:07:00 The pretty cool but could easily wind up being annoying because you can't punch him in the face Pokémon trainer has a final smash which has him summon all 3 of his Pokémon to unleash their attacks at the same time. The attack is officially named 'Triple finish'. I'm just going to call it 'PokéRape'. Because that's what this attack is. Gang rape by Pokémon.God help anybody who has this unleashed on a stage with no platforms to avoid it. If this attack catches you, you can be certain that your damage is going up into the 80's and that your character is going to be ejected straight out of the screen.The 'Smash
balls' are a great new addition to the game. I can imagine the scramble to grab one as soon as it appears and then the frantic fleeing from the character who obtains it.Check it out: Shots of PokéRape in actionTags: Beat 'em up, Final smash, Gaming, Nintendo, Pokemon, Smash Bros., Wii
Read more:Super
, Brawl
Cosplay of the day: Yuffie 2007-09-27 17:10:00 Yuffie is supposed to look cute and bubbly, with a smidgen of sexiness. This cosplayer looks like a crack head on the run from her dealer who she owes money to. She also looks like she could do with a bath, some food, a good night's sleep and a mug of Ovaltine.(Credit goes to Lisa Rye for the awesome Yuffie artwork).Tags: Advent children, Cosplay
, Final Fantasy, Gaming, Square Enix, Yuffie
The jukebox plays... Mutya Buena - Strung out 2007-09-26 18:50:00 Mutya's debut solo album is a pile of shit. But it does have a couple of cool tracks and this is one of them. I think what made me gravitate straight towards this track upon hearing her album is that it sounds alot like the kinda song the Sugababes would do. Which is no surprise given that she was a founding member of the group and that "Strung out" is produced by Jony Rockstar - who has written and produced tracks for all of the Sugababes' albums released whilst Mutya was a part of the group. His productions were always some of my faves. Sweeping strings, hot drums and a great vocal performance. So it's no surprise to me I like this song.My only criticism towards "Strung out" is that it's far TOO strung out. It drags on for one minute too many. But Mutya's sounds great and I love the music and how it switches from R&B to emotive, alternative pop.I also have to say Mutya look pretty nice in that picture above. She usually looks cheap, as rough as a dog and like she'll suck y Read more:Mutya
, Buena
, Mutya Buena
The Kingdom Hearts three 2007-09-26 14:16:00 Square Enix are a bit like OJ. They just murder everything and get away with it. Three KingdomHearts
games are on the way. THREE! This is ridiculous. Why do Square Enix insist on saturating the market with so many games from one franchise at the same time? What ever happened to the days of just a sequel?Three Kingdom Hearts game were unveiled at the '07 TGS. Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 days, Kingdom Hearts: Birth by sleep and Kingdom Hearts: Coded358/2 days will be an adventure game for the DS which will focus on Roxas from the moment of his creation, up until a confrontation with Riku. The title of this game is rubbish and as for the story, they could've told it in Kingdom Hearts II. It would've actually caused the game to make sense.Birth by sleep is for the PSP and focuses on the keyblade masters who came before Sora. This is the game that the Kingdom Hearts 2: Final mix+ secret trailer will be based on and is a prequel to the original game. The game runs on the same engine as Crisis
Jail time for video game piracy 2007-09-26 12:50:00 A man has been arressted for being in posession of pirated games and as a result, will have to do time. Jail time. Ninety days jail time!"Police seized over 1,000 pirated game discs during the raid on Brown's home, along with 'numerous' mod chips. Ric Hirsch, Vice-President of Intellectual Property Enforcement at the ESA, said, 'Sentences that include jail time send a clear message that violating intellectual property rights is a serious crime with significant consequences and violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.'"I know piracy
is wrong, but DAMN! The whole time the Police were raiding a man's house over pirated games there was some crack deal going down in the flat of some run down council estate on the edge of town. I'm not saying piracy should be over looked, but it definitely is a case of the Police not having priorities in order. Whilst Brown will be occupying a cell in one of many prisons that are already way over crowded, some bastard who stabb Read more:video
Game review: Streets of rage 3 2007-09-25 21:47:00 I hate this game so much and think that it is so terrible, that it deserves a review
from yours truly. I spoke briefly about this game in my ninth podcast. But I felt I should do a written review. Just to bring the message home about how terrible this really game is. Streets of rage 3 stole my money and hours of my life and I will never forgive it for that. NEVER!Streets of rage 1 and 2 were great games. The first game was fun, if a little repetitive and the second game was a flat out masterpiece. So how in the world did Sega mess up so badly with its sequel!? Easy. They changed the formula and stripped the game of everything that made the last two games fun. Streets of rage 3 tries to fuse the best of the first 2 games, whilst throwing some new stuff into the mix - but it doesn't quite pull it off. Not by a long shot. There are some new additions which are welcomed: Axel, Blaze and the rest of the crew have a larger set of moves and are able to dodge up and down the screen and can al
Princess Daisy - The ghetto princess 2007-09-25 16:16:00 Daisy is gangsta. She doesn't do kidnapping and will knee any guy in the nuts that touches her. She doesn't do cuisines or fancy dinners. She much prefers 6 dollar buffets, Drive thru Popeye's and KFC. She grew up in the hood. She sits in her castle listening to NWA on her cassette player. She's too gangsta for the iPod. She keeps it real with analogue technology. She also likes thugs. If your status ain't hood, she will not be checking for you. You have to have beaten up an ex wife, been to jail at least twice, have 7 different kids by 5 different baby mothers and been shot or stabbed at least twice to even register on Daisy's radar.Do you like what she's wearing? Nope. Me neither. But the last person that told Daisy that "Homegirl needs to find new threads" got ghetto stomped in broad daylight. You don't diss Daisy. You just don't do it.Princess Daisy. Thug misses. Ghetto princess. Worrrrd!Tags: Gaming, Humour, Nintendo, Princess Daisy, Super Mario
Read more:Daisy
It's an epidemic. Streets of rage 3 is out. 2007-09-25 13:54:00 It was inevitable given the releases of the first two games, but Streets of rage 3 is now available on the North American Virtual console. I can't believe Sega actually had the nerve to release this. If you've yet to see this poor excuse of a game in action, then feast your eyes on this doozy of a video. If you just watched that and thought to yourself "Hmmm...it doesn't look that bad". Don't be fooled for a second. This game is a mess. The kind of mess you don't even try to clean or sort out. You just leave it. Like when your dog takes a shit on the green of a park when it's not supposed to. But instead of using a doodie bag to pick it up and put it in the dog doodie bin, you just walk off and leave it. I'll be posting a review of it later this evening, explaining why this game is so bad. So hold onto your Wii points until then.Tags: Gaming, Rubbish, Sega, Shit, Streets of rage 3, Video, Virtual console, Wii
Read more:epidemic
Look-a-likey: Lil' Kim / Bellatrix Lestrange 2007-09-24 18:20:00 Believe it or not Lil' Kim actually used to be pretty. Now she looks like a death eater on crack, whose face has been sucked through a wind tunnel and then smacked full pelt with a pillow full of Johnson's baby powder. As a result, she reminds me a little like Bellatrix Lestrange from Harry Potter. Only I think Bellatrix is nicer looking.Tags: Bellatrix Lestrange, Harry Potter, Humour, J.K Rowling, Lil' Kim, Random
Show Wii love for the glove 2007-10-04 05:04:00 Nintendo are giving away free Wii
gloves, Wii johnnies's, Wii condoms, Wii rubbers - whatever dirty little name you can come up with to call 'em. I think somebody at Nintendo HQ is a fan of toilet and penis humour. They call the console Wii and then offer to give out free rubber gloves for gamers' Wii remotes?!The Wii remote johnnie's protect your remote from grubby mitts and soften the blow for those who are still sending projectile Wii remotes into walls. I personally think it's a waste of plastic. But that didn't stop me from ordering one. I lied and said I needed four. But just as I was about to click the 'submit' button I saw:"We reserve the right to request evidence of ownership of Wii Remotes for which a Wii Remote Jacket is requested".So I thought I'd better play it safe and just ordered two. Just in-case Nintendo did request evidence that I do own four Wii remotes and then Nintendo representatives to my house to confiscate my Wii for lying. I don't even need a Wii re
Album review: Sugababes - Change 2007-10-03 16:42:00 Girl groups do not last the distance. That's a fact. They argue, bitch, pick on a girl, kick her out of the group, replace her like she's a dead battery and then completely meltdown and break up. Despite the curse of the girl group, the Sugababes
have managed to stick it out and reach the milestone that is the fifth studio album. Even the Spice girls or Destiny's child can't say that. With Mutya out of the picture and fans questioning whether they could go on without her, the surviving girls had to prove they could keep the music as tight as ever. Did they manage to pull it off? *scoff* Did they ever! Mutya who!?'Change
' doesn't stray too much from the Sugababes' previous albums and is pretty much what you'd expect from the girls. Whilst the style of the music on the album isn't a major revamp of the Sugababes sound or even much of an evolution, the songs are solid and has the girls doing what they do best - bluring the lines of genres and putting their unique stamp on things Read more:Album
, review
The prologue of Super Mario galaxy 2007-10-03 08:21:00 Super Mario
Galaxy has nothing else to prove to me. I know this game is going to rock my gaming world and satisfy my gaming needs. But Nintendo aren't quite done showing us gamers why we need to just give them our money come November. They've released a video of the prologue to the game, where we get a first look at Peach doing what she does best (getting kidnapped) and Bowser and Kamek getting up to no good as usual. It's amazingly epic for Super Mario
game and it shits all over the...(Peach sends Mario a letter which reads...)"Come to my house. I've made you a cake."(Mario goes to Peach's house just to hear Bowser's voice echo from out of nowhere)Bowser: I've kidnapped the bitch. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaa!Toad: Get stars to save the princess. There's a painting in a room just there. Jump yo' fat ass through it to get a star....intro that was in Super Mario 64.Now THIS is what I'm talking about. Did you see those graphics? That shit wasn't FMV. REAL TIME BITCH! That was running Read more:Super
Game review: Sonic rush 2007-10-02 23:30:00 Don't ask me why I decided to review
this game. It's best you don't ask me why I post half the stuff I do on this stupid blog. But I felt like doing a review of it. I've decided I'm going to try and do at least one review a week of every game I've played to date. I'll probably stick to that for all of 2 weeks, but we'll see how it goes. Talking about Sonic
rush adventure a couple of posts back got me thinking about it predecessor Sonic rush. So I decided I'd say some kind words about it. Given it's one of the few Sonic games that I actually liked enough to buy.Sonic rush plays like pretty much every other Sonic game, though it comes with some new gameplay altering twists. First off is that the game is played across two screens. Sonic and Blaze will shoot up into the top screen and swoop down into the bottom screen during their races through stages. It's a minor thing, but it really does add to the frantic pace of the game and the sense of speed and freedom the characters hav
Link - The silent threat 2007-10-02 18:34:00 Link is a born trouble maker. Many know him as a hero, but he has done some terrible things to some innocent people. Link was a little terror when he was a child. At the age of 11 he was put in a young offenders institute for randomly stabbing people and taking their money. His childhood sweetheart gave him her flute, something she had treasured for as long as she could remember. She hoped Link would give her something in return, but instead he stared in her face, then ran off and left her standing there. Once Link turned of age he was due to marry Princess Zelda. But when it was time to exchange vows and the King of Hyrule asked if he would take Zelda to be his lawful wedded wife, he wouldn't answer and just stood there. After 3 minutes of waiting and hoping Link would say something, Zelda cried and ran off. The King of Hyrule called Link "a trampy, insensitive bastard" for making his daughter cry, to which Link said nothing.Link also likes to travel, but he's afraid of buses and ha Read more:threat
Sonic rush adventure is out?! 2007-10-02 17:28:00 I didn't think this game was out for months and it turns out it was released across Europe a few weeks ago! Damn. Sega released this game on the down low, because I had no idea it was even out. I've been in several video game stores over the past few weeks and never even spotted it or saw so much as a poster in the window promoting the game.I really enjoyed Sonic
Rush (even though I still haven't completed it yet), but I don't know if I'll be buying this. Reviews of this game are all pretty positive though, so if you're partial to a bit of playing as a super speed hedgehog, a pyrokinetic cat and collecting rings, then you may wanna pick this up. As for me? I think I'm going to pass. The reviews that speak highly of this game admit that whilst it is alot of fun, it's not that much different from Sonic rush. I have a bunch of DS games on my 'need to buy' list and this isn't on it. At least not right now.For those who have yet to experience Sonic rush, I'll have a review of it
Snake gets down in Super Smash Bros. Brawl 2007-10-02 14:12:00 I want this game so bad that it's giving me chest pains. Smash
bros.com has been updated with some Meal Gear Solid goodies that you REALLY do need to check out. This game is going to be off the heezy fo' sheezy! Yes. J just said 'heezy fo' sheezy'. Super
Smash Bros. Brawl
has me jonseing more and more everyday. Nintendo are not skimping on production values when it comes to this game. Check out Solid Snake
in action...Who the f**k needs Sonic the hedgehog in this game when we've got Snake?! Sonic can go whistle. Maybe when his games are decent again he'll be worthy of appearing in a Smash bros. game.Snake's stage has also been unveiled to be Shadow Moses island from Metal Gear Solid 1. It looks cool, but nothing amazing. Though I can't think of any location in a MGS game that was particularly amazing or memorable. Hopefully we'll get at least one other MGS themed stage though.Be sure to head to the official Smash Bros. website where there are some codec conversations about Sna
Nasty NiGHTS 2007-10-01 10:55:00 Oh HELL no! This shit looks awful. I don't want anybody telling me these graphics look good, because they don't. You can count the edges of the main characters' wrist and fingers. The developers didn't Mesh or Turbo smooth those edges whatsoever. If this is the level of character modelling you need to have to work at Sega, then they need to employ me.I'm sick and tired of developers using the innovation of the Wii remote and the control scheme as a way to compensate for shitty graphics on Wii games. Sega had Sonic and the secret rings looking real nice, so what the hell happened with NiGHTS!?I'm sure the game will play like a dream and all the rest of it. But those graphics need to be polished up. I don't care if I sound shallow. This is the seventh generation of gaming. I shouldn't be able to see or count the edges of character models unless the character is a Tetris block. Those ships should've sailed out along with Virtua Fighter 1 and every other game from the 32 bit era.
Another grey day in London 2007-10-01 09:54:00 October 1, 2007 and the sky is a depressing shade of grey. Summer failed to make an appearance this year in London and when it did, it was quick to make an exit. It was only 2 weeks ago I was making my way to work with no jacket or coat. Now I'm heading to work in big old jackets and scarves.I absolutely HATE the cold. But I have a love / hate relationship with the rain. I do have my moments when I enjoy walking in it. Even when it's pouring down. Sometimes it's nice. Rain helps me think for some reason. I find walking in it quite theraputic.Tags: Random, UK, Weather, Winter
...as a dog 2007-10-15 16:40:00 My immune system is a funny old thing. I'm fortunate enough to have a pretty strong one, but at the expense of it lobbing everything at me at once every once in a while. I rarely ever get ill. But when I do, I fall ill really badly. At two moments within the year I'll come down with absolutely everything. Yesterday was one of those moments in the year.Yesterday I was fine, but by the time it hit midnight, my eye sight went blurry, my nose blocked up, I couldn't stop sneezing, my body went completely cold but my head was boiling hot, I had a migrane, my stomach was killing me and I felt weak. I hit the sack at 2 am, which is actually really good for me considering I usually don't go to bed until 4 am on most nights. I don't know why I even bothered because I didn't get a wink of sleep. I spent the whole night thrashing around, sweating, tossing, turning, moaning and groaning and not of the sexual kind. It was like something out of The Exorcist. I did everything but spin my head, p
Metroid Prime 3 preview channel for European gamers 2007-10-16 04:52:00 Some of you fellow European
gamers (the few of you who actually have your Wii's plugged in) would've received an e-mail informing you that the Metroid
Prime 3 preview channel is now available for download. I doubt many European gamers even care. Because of something called 'the Internet' and another thing called 'embeddable video' we all saw the trailers that the preview channel had to offer when North American gamers got access to it in August. Still, it's worth downloading just to pad your Wii menu out with an extra channel if nothing else.Thankfully the preview channel wasn't all Nintendo had to offer in the way of Metroid goodies. Super Metroid is now available in the Wii shop! I never owned this game for the Super Nintendo and I only rented it. I remember loving every second of it and wishing I had owned it. I'll wish no more, because I will be downloading the hell out of this game tonight and if you haven't done so already, then you need to do the same.If you can't be
The J-Pop jukebox plays... Kumi Koda - You 2007-10-14 18:59:00 I've decided that the J-Pop jukebox shall play every Sunday night. It's been a while since I shared some J-Pop with you hasn't it? I dunno why I bother though. I posted some gems of J-Pop songs before and they got passed on. But... *shrugs* Your loss!If Kumi Koda were as consistent with putting out good music as she is at looking like an easy slapper and being a prick tease, she'd be up there in my stable of hottest J-Pop acts along with Hikaru, Crystal and Namie. Alot of her songs are like cookie cutter versions of US R&B records. But every album she puts out has at least two really nice slow jams that show off her vocals and that she can actually hold a song. One of such songs is "You". I am such a sucker for a slow song with a bassline, piano and orchestrated strings - so Kumi Koda has reeled me in big time with this one. It's a really nice song and I play it on a regular basis when I want something relaxing to listen to. It sounds like it should be a theme to a Square Enix
Re-release it: Perfect Dark 64 2007-10-14 15:54:00 You'd never know it given their more recent works, but Rare actually used to make good games. During the SNES and the N64 era Rare were ruling the roost on Nintendo's consoles. Gamers used to look forward to Rare's games just as much as Nintendo's. But somewhere along the way, key staff left, Rare got handed a skip full of money by Microsoft, they went over to the Dark side and then they turned a bit crap. So I say that Rare stick with what works and go back and re-releasing the gems that showed they could actually make a good game. Starting with Perfect
Dark 64.Perfect Dark was a great game on the N64. It got shitty in later levels when the Skedar and all that crap got brought into things. But it was a great game. However, as great a game as Perfect Dark was it did have some shortcomings. The most major one being that it was a little ahead of its time. Citing a game being ahead of its time as a shortcoming may seem odd. But it is a shortcoming when the end result is a game that ha
Dead Fantasy I 2007-10-14 08:35:00 The Internet famous Monty Oum (the dude responsible for the fantastic 'Haloid' video) is back with another animated masterpiece by the name of 'Dead Fantasy'. This video is BAD!! Can you guess which fusion of games this is of? The choreography is something else. Not that I really need to say it, but Monty Oum has got skills. SERIOUS skills. Square Enix need to hire this guy, because Heaven's knows their FMV has fallen off in the 'Wow factor' stakes since Final Fantasy IX - the last Final Fantasy game to feature FMV that was actually interesting and worth watching.I didn't like how those Dead or alive bitches were handling Yuna and Rikku towards the end of the fight - but they were out numbered and you know Tifa is going to lay the smackdown in Dead Fantasy II. Monty Oum plans on going all the way up to Dead Fantasy V! He's caught my interest big time. I'd buy Dead Fantasy on DVD if he was selling it. Dead Fantasy I on its own shits all over the snoozefest that was Advent
Super Mario galaxy - new abilities pr0n 2007-10-13 14:27:00 Between Super
Smash Bros. Brawl and Super Mario
Galaxy videos releasing left, right and centre, I'm in Nintendo heaven at the thought of owning these games. I actually forgot that Metroid Prime 3: Corruption gets its European release in 2 weeks! Yesterday I posted some Smash bros. pr0n, now it's time for the Mario galaxy pr0n. Check out these new videos of Mario getting his platform action on with the aid of a Star, an ice flower, a Stingray, a balancing ball, a bubble and an oversized flower. Only in Mario game folks...only in a Mario game...These new power ups crap all over those shitty hats from Super Mario
64. Metal cap, winged cap, invisible cap my arse. It's all about the Bee, the Phantom, the Star and the ice flower. The fire flower will also make a return, along with some wierd slinky power up which has Mario wrapped in coils. It'll probably allow him to spring and jump to higher areas, but that's me going out on a complete whim. Videos of Mario lobbing firballs and workin Read more:abilities
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