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The Best of Yo Momma: Jesus
2007-08-27 11:23:40
Jesus H. Christ. The central figure of the Christian faith. The purported savior of humanity. The main man to 3 billion of the world’s people. And apparently the best battler on YoMomma .tv. It takes a lot of hubris to pretend to be God on a website, but whoever Jesus is, it’s working for him – he (He?) has won an amazing 88% of almost 300 battles. So with Jesus’ domination over Christianity and YoMomma.tv in mind, I’m compiling the best jokes on the site that have to do with that dude up on the cross. In Jesus’ name, amen. From Franklin: “Yo momma so fat that Jesus said, ‘Render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s, render unto God what is God’s, and render unto yo momma some freakin’ Slim Fast.’” From Imani: “Yo momma so ugly even Jesus wouldn’t save her.” From TonyStark: “Yo momma so ugly Jesus doesn’t want her as a sunbeam, he wants her as a plague.” From CabroniBaloney: “Yo m
Read more: Jesus

Deep Yo Momma thoughts.
2007-08-25 05:14:48
Hey y’all, Lately I’ve been wondering why, of all the insults in the world, an insult directed at one’s momma is the most cutting. Most times if you insult a person to his face, you can laugh it off or somehow misdirect the attention of the insultee so that it’s no big thing, but in certain nations of the world, if you insult a man’s mother, he will immediately begin threatening your most precious cargo with a sharp bladed instrument he was, up until that moment, using to slaughter a goat. Such people will not suffer any sort of barb aimed at their mothers. You can say to them, “Your wife’s demeanor reminds me of any number of aquatic mammals,” and they will laugh and offer you a glass of their particular nation’s undrinkable alcoholic beverage and say their native tongue’s varation on “Women – you can’t live with ‘em, you can’t live without them,”but if you were to begin a sentence with “
Read more: Momma , thoughts

Yo Momma Afghanistan part 1
2007-08-24 09:04:51
The Yo Momma crew is stirrin’ it up the middle east for this special edition. Don’t forget to check out part two! Short Circuitz Wants Your Best TV Parody! Send us your funniest TV and music parodies and they just might end up on the air. Click here to find out more!
Read more: Afghanistan

Worldwide Yo Momma
2007-08-24 02:16:27
I’m convinced that insulting one’s mama crosses all cultural, racial, ethnic, religious, geographic and any other lines. Why? The answer is quite simple, actually. It’s all about the spelling. There are pretty much two most common spellings for one’s mother: Yo Mamma and Yo Mama. But….there are also educational limits to this spelling (i.e. improper punctuation): yo mama, yo mamma, yo mama and yo mamma. Then there’s the South: Yooo Momma (or, again, yooo mama). We also have the fast talkers, the people who are either always on the move or from somewhere in the mid-Atlantic: yomamma, yomama, Yomama, Yomamma, YoMamma and YoMama. The proverbial sweater-wearing preppy boy has his Yo Mother (your mother) and the jock has Yo Mama! Or Yo Mamma! Latinos have Tu Madre (tu madre), Italians have Yo Muda, and Jews have Yo bubby. Insulting one’s mother is such a popular pastime that I’m sure many, many, many more variations could be found. For now I’m willing to settle on the tra
Read more: Worldwide

Robyn on Yo Momma - Part 2
2007-08-23 01:24:53
Going into each battle, my main goal was to remember all my jokes really well. The last thing I wanted was to look like a complete jackass on national television. Once I thought I was set, I definitely had a strategic plan in place. Right off the bat, after meeting my competition I would check them out and try to come up with jokes about their appearance…only extra arsenal in the bag. In the first episode, one of my competitors, Gary, had braces so immediately I came up with a joke about him having a training grill. I never had the chance to say the joke, but oh well - at least I had personal material ready to go. I would try to start off with what I thought was the strongest joke, in order to get the audience on my side. Then after the battle got started, really I didn’t have a plan or order to my jokes. When you are in the heat of the battle you really just have to go with the flow and say the jokes you can remember off the top of your head. Overall I was actually shocked when I
Read more: Momma , Robyn

Robyn on Yo Momma - Part 1
2007-08-22 13:58:53
I have grown up watching MTV and I always thought it would be fun to be on a reality show of some sort. Of course there are some out there, particularly of the dating variety, that I could never see myself on. Just because I’m not the type of person to put myself out there romantically and “fall madly in love” with a Flava Flav type in a one week time span. Let’s be real, that’s bull. But when a co-worker of mine sent me an email saying that Yo Momma was holding auditions in Atlanta, for some strange reason I got really excited. All my friends thought I was crazy and I literally ending up showing up to auditions by myself. And I was the only girl I might add, yeah that’s right. Prior to auditions when I started thinking about yo momma jokes I really wasn’t familiar with all the ones out there. Of course I knew the standard yo momma so fat, she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out or the ever popular yo momma so fat she wears a microwave as a beeper…did I even think
Read more: Robyn

Introducing…
2007-08-22 13:55:54
We got an extra-special tasty treat for y’all on this fine day. See, this blog ain’t just about Yo Momma trivia and Best Ofs. Oh no, we are devoted to bringing you the very hottest and most unique in Yo Momma content (sure, we don’t have much competition, but hey, that doesn’t change our devotion.) And to that end, we’re bringing in a very special guest blogger. I want y’all to put your hands together and give a very warm Yo Momma welcome (without any disses, please) to Robyn Singer, one of the contestants from the Yo Momma show. Robyn was gracious enough to write down her experiences relating to Yo Momma and some handy tips on coming up with some brutal snaps, so we’re leaving the blog in her capable hands for a little while. Enjoy!
Read more: Introducing , hellip

The Best of Yo Momma - History
2007-08-21 06:54:50
All men are created equal, but unfortunately it’s not the same for Yo Momma jokes. There are 20000 disses on YoMomma.tv, but not all of them are quite battle-ready; a Yo Momma joke should burn, but some just sputter like a wet lighter. A lot of it has to do with a lack of creativity; there’s a million jokes about how yo momma is so fat that she bleeds some kind of fatty food product, or how yo momma is so fat your daddy was the Colonel, and maybe that was funny in like 1987 – but in today’s world, when Yo Momma jokes are popular enough to have their own TV show, you have to come more original and provocative. Don’t just crib jokes from websites and rappers and fast food commercials – use your education! Try to think of something different. To help you along, here are some of the best Yo Momma jokes on the site dealing with history (and you thought you’d never use it). “Yo momma so fat, she counted as a whole person under the Missouri Compromise.
Read more: History

The History of Yo Momma
2007-08-17 16:33:42
Hey y’all, I see everyone out there slinging Yo Momma jokes, but how many people know the history of Yo Momma? Where did momma jokes come from, and how did a simple retort become so universal in our culture? Yo Momma jokes are part of the African-American tradition of “playing the dozens,” a verbal sparring game where insults are traded between two or more combatants in front of an audience. Some scholars claim that the dozens goes all the way back to African custom; others claim that it was an invention of slaves in America, a way to assert masculinity and resolve conflicts without resorting to violence.  The concept of the dozens filtered into black music as well. Bluesmen often incorporated snaps into their lyrics. Jazz musicians put the idea of a verbal battle into an instrumental context, attempting to top each other with back-to-back solos, or “trading fours,” short call-and-response segments traded back and forth between musicians. And of course, hip-hop has elevated
Read more: History

Yo Momma So Stupid I bet She Don’t Even Read This Blog!
2007-08-10 14:28:06
What’s up, y’all!?! We just started up this new blog for the yomomma.tv universe, so you’ve got a place to hear all the latest website news and get a chance to get some trash talking tips from some of the best baggers around. We’ve got a whole set of guest bloggers from the show lined up to hit you with their personal stories, best jokes, and a whole lot more. Once we get this thing off the ground, stay tuned for tons of cool stuff….like a chance to be guest blogger for the day so you can drop some knowledge about the latest trends and hotspots in your hometown and tell everyone about you, your jokes. . . .and even yo momma! We’ll also have blogs for shoe-heads, hip-hop fiends and everyone else. So here you go….have fun with this and let us know what you want to see on the new blog! YM Team
Read more: Momma , Stupid

Yo Momma Afghanistan part 2
2007-08-31 15:08:29
As promised, here is part 2 of Yo Momma Afghanistan ! For more parodies check out Short Circuitz. Short Circuitz wants your best TV parody! Send us your funniest TV and music parodies and they just might end up on the air. PLUG IN YOUR TV PARODY NOW!


20,000 Leagues Under Yo Momma
2007-08-31 04:12:44
Hey y’all, Put on your jewel-encrusted party hats and get ready to play a tune on your pimp kazoos, because your favorite portal for the very finest in brutal snaps and verbal slaps, YoMomma .tv, has just passed a major milestone. That’s right, YoMomma.tv is now home to over 20,000 disses. That is twenty. thousand. yo momma jokes. Let’s think about that number for a little bit. Let’s say that you wanted to slay one person a day, every day of the year (even Christmas) with a crippling Yo Momma snap you found on YoMomma.tv. Definitely an admirable goal, and 20,000 available snaps means you could totally ruin a dude’s day every day for more than 54 years. By the time you got done, civilization would have progressed so much your jokes wouldn’t even be relevant. Yo Momma jokes would have evolved into “Yo momma’s so fat that if chickens had not been obliterated by the great Rigelian Poultry Plague of 2049, she would enjoy them in excess.”
Read more: Leagues

Yo Momma and racism
2007-08-30 04:22:25
Peace to all of you and your mommas, I’ve been wondering about something lately due to all the time I spend voting on jokes and battles on YoMomma .tv. Even for a casual observer, it’s pretty hard to miss that a lot of the jokes people are posting can seem kind of racist. A popular trope, even in jokes that make it onto the show, is the one that starts with “Yo momma’s so black….” In my mind, there’s a couple of problems with this. First, a whole lot of people on YoMomma.tv, and in the world at large, aren’t exactly black. You tell some Korean dude, or some Finnish dude, that his momma is so black and it’s gonna be you that winds up looking the fool. I mean, it is readily apparent to any observer that these dudes’ mommas are not black in any way, shape or form. These dudes’ mommas are so not black that whenever they pop in a Tupac CD all that comes out of the speakers is ABBA. When these dudes’ mommas cook a pot of


The Pharcyde: A Yo Momma Moment
2007-08-29 04:07:38
Some of you might not be too schooled on your hip-hop history, so I thought I would talk about rap music’s most shining example of the pure art of Yo Momma , the song that was made theme to MTV’s Yo Momma: the Pharcyde’s “Ya Mama.” “Ya Mama” comes straight off the California foursome’s debut album, Bizarre Ride II The Pharcyde, which was released on the famous Delicious Vinyl label way back in 1992, the golden age of New Jack Swing and P-Funk samples, the same year Dre and Snoop blew up the West Coast with The Chronic and ushered in the gangsta era. The Pharcyde weren’t gangstas, though – they were straight up funny, hard-partying dudes, and their hilarious, often confessional raps prove it. In “Ya Mama,” they sling disses like “Ya mama’s got a glass eye with a fish in it” and “Ya mama’s got a peg leg with a kickstand” - pure Yo Momma bliss. Any appreciator of hip-hop should get the a
Read more: Moment

The Yo Momma Weekly Roundup!
2007-09-22 03:21:57
Yo momma so fat that the Lord took six days to create her, and on the seventh day He no longer had room to rest. I guess that one was kind of weird. But it’s been a long week, and I’m kind of in a weird mood. But it has, of course, been another reliably fruitful week of Yo Momma ’s hot snaps and deep thoughts, and we ain’t got any plans to keep serving you up steaming platters of the tasty stuff. On last week’s menu was: - Alphabet Mama Soup, a delicious can full of flavorful recipes to spice up the regular old Yo Momma ingredients. - A frank discussion of that common household fixture that gets our food after we’re done with it, the toilet, and its relation to yo momma. - A little combination of lyricism and pop culture references with a Yo Momma-inspired twist on John Lennon’s patchouli-scented anthem “Imagine”. - And a fresh twist on playing the Yo Momma ratings game, which could certainly use some innovation. Just another week
Read more: Weekly

A New Rating System
2007-09-20 18:59:28
I’ve probably spent more hours on Yo Momma in the lab and in the battle ring in the last months than I have reading the paper, working or watching TV. Now, having voted, I believe, on every insult there is in the lab, and having checked out most of the battles, I think I’ve got a great idea for a new ratings system. It’s not enough to simply let someone know if they’re insult is whack or dope. We need to start lowering the whackest of the whacked with a “Whacked scale” and elevate the dopest of the dope with a “Dope scale”. Each scale will keep track of the total votes and the lower or higher you get the larger your pic will be – oh yeah, no pic or a pic that doesn’t go with your age or sex automatically lowers you on the Whacked scale. The more whacked a user, the larger their pic gets and maybe that will motivate them to start putting some better insults up. Also, I’d stop letting people jack other people’s insults. If people were caught doing that I’
Read more: Rating , System

Imagine
2007-09-19 23:06:03
Imagine there’s no mamas. It’s easy if you try. No one to insult or battle for; with us only guys. Imagine a world with no gender, then there wouldn’t even be those guys. Imagine all the people, actually insulting each other – you may say that I’m a dreamer. But I’m not the only one. Please say you’ll stop dissing, and then all the insulters will be as one. Don’t think I’m crazy, yall….it’s just that what’s with all the mama dissin’? Yo, we need to respect our mamas. We need to remember where we all came from, where we all….. Ha, gotcha, all of ya! Yo keep the dissin’ coming! Keep the insults rolling! The battle ring is tha bomb and I’m telling all of you that we need to keep those insults fresh! I see a few that are out there and a few that are whack, but most of them are pretty good. Some are a bit gross but it’s all cool. I can’t stop. I’m an insulting machine. So don’t stop either cause I want as many insults as can fit in
Read more: Imagine

Yo Momma on the toiiilllettt…
2007-09-18 23:12:58
Have you ever noticed how the word “toilet” seems to make people think that something will be funny? It appears to me that while this may not be something we like to think of, it may indeed be true. Let’s take a look. I ran through the “tags” in the “lab” and found the word “toilet”. Guess what I found. Seventeen pages of toilet insults. Now the first page had a few “short” “poor” and “nasty” insults. But on the second one I found a creative one: “yo mamma so ugly I had to look at her picture while I was on the toilet just so it’d scare the sh* out of me”. Now that was funny; using the toilet as the setting – not the point of the insult. I thought that was very clever. Having checked out that piece of Americana I moved on to the classic tag of “doo-doo”. That search took me to three different insults. Those three were funny when I thought of Eddie Murphy circa early SNL days saying something like, “yo momma breath smells like she
Read more: Momma , hellip

Alphabet Mama Soup
2007-09-17 20:19:22
My brother and I have figured out a great new game. We buy about ten cans of alphabet soup and each get two bowls that we split all the soup into. Our friend starts a stopwatch and we each have two minutes to create the most insults possible (usually one is all we get). It’s pretty fun, though. We got the idea checking out the search engine for the lab. We just put in the word “soup” and they came up – five pages of insults. While we were reading them and laughing our little brother started singing the “A B C D” song. Then we had the idea. The cool thing about the game is that if you match insults that appear in battle ring you get twice the points (each insult is worth ten points). The way to get the most points is to spell the names of the best battlers in the VIP room. That’s the hardest challenge and whoever loses that one has to eat the other one’s insult. The only bad part about the whole thing is that we can’t really insult each other, cause we’re
Read more: Alphabet

New Spins on Yo Momma
2007-09-14 03:17:16
I think we should put some new spins on this contest.  As it is right now there isn’t so much at stake.  Yeah, someone can insult someone’s mama but after that episode we’re not even thinking about him anymore.  It’s not that I don’t think we should be having the show, it’s that I want Yo Mama to have more consequences.  Here are a few ideas: 1.  Whoever loses should have to go to his old neighborhood and walk around with a sign on that has the best insult about his mama, but it would say something like, “my mama’s so fat…..” or “my mama’s so stupid……”.  That would keep out the guys who shouldn’t be there to start with and keep it real. 2.  Whoever wins should be able to insult the other guys mama while the other guy has to sit and watch, as in, “you’re so fat….” Or “you’re so stupid….”. I think if we had a few of these consequences the competition would be much much more interesting.
Read more: Momma , Spins

The Yo Momma Weekly Roundup!
2007-09-14 19:17:17
Another week, another series of frank observations on your momma’s various physical and mental deficiencies. That’s how we do here at the Yo Momma blog. Yo Momma - and you don’t stop. So this was a week especially filled with unique Yo Momma conflict and content. Let’s look back for those of you just tuning in whose down arrow key may be broken. Hey. It could happen. We like to talk about the rich and varied history of Yo Momma snaps and the dozens, the African-American verbal tradition from which they sprang. But it turns out that Yo Momma may actually go back a lot further than the dozens…all the way back to the Bard himself. And then, the fights began. First, Kanye West and 50 Cent’s album sale beef spilled over onto YoMomma.tv, with a savage one-on-one Yo Momma showdown between the two stars. And then it turned out that even politicians like to come provocative with a good diss, which is probably the reason we witnessed the Yo Momma battle for t
Read more: Weekly

More celebrity battles
2007-09-13 04:36:38
And you thought it would end at Fiddy and Kanye. Sure, rap feuds are ugly, but as nasty as the rap game can get, there’s something much darker and more insidious out there, something whose inherent feuds are not only savage, but have the potential to dramatically affect all our lives. Oh yes. I’m talking about politics. As you probably know, we’re gearing up for yet another election season in America. For you non-Americans out there, election buzz in the US starts about six months after the inauguration of the current president (or at least that’s how it seems). And the names on everyone’s lips right now are Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, the contenders for the Democratic nomination for the presidency. It is, of course, starting to turn into a beef that would put Nas and Jigga to shame. But what if there were a different way to settle political differences, a better way? A…Yo Momma way? I bet it would go something like this.


It’s goin’ down at YoMomma.tv
2007-09-11 21:25:48
What’s goin’ down, you ask? The newest and hottest feud in hip-hop music of course. Rappers love to feud. It’s as much a part of the music as turntables, microphones and Parliament/Funkadelic samples. Rappers were feuding even back in the mid-’80s (usually about which neighborhood in New York could lay claim to giving birth to American rap music). That eventually turned into the massive coast-to-coast feud in the early ’90s which unfortunately culminated in a few too many deaths, and now rappers will beef about almost anything - as long as they think it will help them move some music. So the latest beef? It’s between 50 Cent and Kanye West. Check out the full scoop here: US rapper 50 Cent - real name Curtis Jackson - is set to go-head-to-head with rap star Kanye West when both their albums are released on 11 September in the US. Fans of both artists are being forced to choose between the two as 50 Cent has announced if West sells more records then he


Mo’ History
2007-09-10 23:17:01
Hey y’all, I’m about to bust out some history on you. You may think that Yo Momma jokes are a fairly recently phenomenon. A lot of you kids out there probably think that you and your boys invented them sitting around the lunch table at school pretending to be bad while slinging Yo Momma snaps staler than your cafeteria’s hot dog buns. But Yo Momma is mad venerable. If you’ve been reading this blog from the outset, you know that generally Yo Momma falls into the African-American verbal insult tradition known as “the dozens.” But I’m about to blow your minds with the revelation that Yo Momma jokes are so old, even yo old-ass momma wasn’t around when they got invented. And how do I know this? Because a great man once wrote a great snap, hundreds of years ago. A man you may have heard of. A man you probably think is about as cool as daytime TV. That man is William Shakespeare. Oh, you don’t believe me. You’re saying, “Ain&rs
Read more: History

The rest of the world should pay attention to Yo Momma.
2007-09-27 20:32:34
I don’t know about you, but if you come from a country that doesn’t think insulting someone’s Momma is a big deal I’m not sure you could hold up to us.  This is what I’m trying to say.  After David Beckham got in trouble for calling a Spanish referee’s mother a whore he said “I didn’t realize what I had said was that bad.  I had heard a few of my team-mates say the same before me.”  Oh really, Mr. Beckham?  Let’s assume this is true.  Hey, yo Momma’s so ugly you came to play for the Galaxy just to get away from her.  Hey, yo Momma’s so fat elephants use her to play “football”.  Get the point?  I go through battles and the lab and all I can say is if you don’t think even the slightest insult of someone’s Momma isn’t a big deal it’s no wonder you lost to us back in the 18th century; and again in 1812.  No wonder we had to come over there and help stop Hitler.  No wonder we’re getting better at soccer and you all are…well just look where
Read more: attention

Yo Education
2007-09-26 17:11:58
So I was watching TV the other day and this professor was talking about sociology and culture evolution and stuff. He said that if we look at certain things like video games at first all we see is, well, a game. But if we look a bit harder we see something else. Games (at least some of them) require planning, strategy and hand-eye coordination. Games can educate and they can also spoil. What do I mean? Well one game can help you think about city planning. Another can simulate combat. Yet another can teach kids to hate. So I thought about “Yo Momma.” It seems to me that what we have here is not just a competition to insult one another’s moms. What we have here is an opportunity. Think of it like this. If you go into the lab and go through insults we see analogies and metaphors- people using descriptive comparison tools without even knowing it! We also see some people trying to say the same thing as others, but with different words (synonyms). And when you run out of
Read more: Education


2007-09-26 03:59:04
Check it out! I’m famous! Well at least my insult is. I put up an insult about Yo Momma bein so poor that I KNOW no one has ever used before. I’m good like that. Now I’m not gonna tell you which one it was here…you’ll just have to trust me. So anyway I was walking down the street and I heard some people talking about the site. They were all about voting everyone whack, which in itself is pretty whack if you ask me. Anyway they were talking bout the site and so I stopped to “tie my shoes” so I could hear what they were saying. One of them started quoting battles and he went straight for mine! They were actually battling each other with other people’s battles but this one guy was battling with all my insults. So then I heard the other guy use one of mine and his friend called him out! Then the next day I heard a little kid use that same insult, my favorite, on one of his friends! Yo, I’m famous! It’s cool having an impact on people and I gotta tell ya


Yo Momma keeps people sane.
2007-09-24 22:45:26
I have a theory. I think Yo Momma is keeping people sane. I’ll bet you crime has gone down since Yo Momma came on. I’ll bet you fights are down. See, instead of people going out with nothing to do and sitting around insulting people they don’t know they’re getting on this site, checking out battles. They’re watching the show and talking about who the best battler is. Then they’re having their own battles. Then neighbors and blocks are battling. I’m serious – I’ve seen it. But it’s all being done within the setting of Yo Momma. There are rules. No one’s taking it personally. And everyone’s getting they’re aggression out. This is why I think that violence is going down. In my neighborhood the more people “battle” the less they really want to fight and the more tired they are at the end. The more they have to think about insults the more they realize that insults really do hurt but that it’s ok as long as it’s done in the Yo Momma framework
Read more: keeps

Yo Momma in Music
2007-10-03 20:39:35
Yo Momma ’s so greasy that she’s seeped into pop culture.  Yeah, I’ve noticed something you all haven’t.  Yo Momma’s in a whole lot of songs.  Though not necessarily an obvious Yo Momma insult, Aerosmith has a whole song entitled “Yo Momma.”  The lyrics for part of the song go “your Momma wants to do me and your Daddy wants to do me in” and the end of the song “Then it all came back to me that night back in 1973 it must have been yo Momma Lord have mercy on me.”  Ohhhhhh…..Niiiiiice.  There’s more.  Lil’ Wyte goes on and on not only about ‘yo mamma’ but about “Yo daddy” and “Yo grand mammy”!  He’s all “I seen her butt naked….” And “Yo mamma wanted spinners for Christmas”.  Probably the best line is “Yo daddy, sees Mike Tyson and wanted to put a tattoo on his nose.”  Huh?  But my favorite would have to be Frank Zappa, who uses the phrase “Yo’ Momma”  to sing the praises of mothers.  “Maybe you should stay with y
Read more: Music

50 Ways to Use Yo Momma
2007-10-02 21:35:22
So get this. I’ve been loving the site, checking out the different kinds of insults – you know: fat, stupid, skinny, etc. But guess what I’ve found out. A quick glance at the Urban Dictionary lists a ton of definitions (or ways of using “yo momma“…). The first definition is “A phrase used as a formal declaration of defeat. For example: “Kenneth replied ‘yo mama’ when he realized he could not counter his opponent’s point.” Another one, and this is very helpful when trying to get to someone, is, “”yo momma” is something you say in front of every sentence that some1 says just to piss then off.” This definition was my favorite. Too bad it wasn’t used in a battle. “A lame phrase someone I know keeps saying whenever I ask him a question about PE because he has it before me.” And, of course, the actual insult, “Me: Hey, what are we doing in PE today? Him: Yo Mama!” LOL…right? This one I take issue w
Read more: Momma

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