Owner: YoMomma Blog URL:http://yomomma.tv/blog/ Join Date: Tue, 28 Aug 2007 11:28:41 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: YoMomma's more than just an insult - it applies to life. Read, laugh and learn how to better call out someone else's momma.
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Mommas in the News: Nicole Kidman 2008-07-08 01:39:13 Hey y’all,
It’s been a remarkably fertile year for celebrities worldwide - even for those you wouldn’t quite expect. Like, say, Nicole Kidman
. Logic would dictate that Nicole Kidman
would have lost the ability to biologically reproduce after the countless tucks, nips and lifts that transformed her into the rictus-stricken Auton she is today gradually dragged [...]
Hittin’ the sauce, slappin’ yo momma 2008-07-04 11:50:17 Hey y’all,
Yo momma drinks. Yo momma so drunk that her breast milk is 80 proof. Yo momma such a lush they’ve even started naming cocktails after her. Or at least, one restaurant in Minneapolis has:
Now you’re old enough to drink you know that whiskey and Country Time Lemonade isn’t that big of a deal, but [...] Read more:sauce
Calling for a revolution 2008-07-03 00:00:41 Hey y’all,
I’ve been thinking, and if you’ve been reading this blog for as long I’ve been writing it, you know that that can get dangerous. But bear with me.
So as we all know, there are few verbal blades more cutting than the Yo Momma snap. Those eggheads at Wikipedia claim the crux of momma jokes [...] Read more:Calling
, revolution
Yo Momma goes international 2008-07-31 07:39:10 Hey y’all,
Okay, maybe I lied a bit with that title. It seems one of the defining aspects of the dozens as a practice is that - Canada aside - it’s mostly limited to the United States. Is it something to do with our comic sensibility? The longtime presence, and interaction with the dominant population groups, [...] Read more:Momma
Mommas in the News: Angelina Jolie 2008-07-29 01:22:54 Hey y’all,
The celebrity stork is making the rounds again, and somebody forgot to inform him that Hollywood’s most overexposed ubercouple already had a brood large enough to completely dominate film within 15 years. Imagine how tangled the visitation rights are going to be when this all falls apart.
And the requisite snap?
Yo momma so loose she’s [...] Read more:Angelina
, Jolie
, Angelina Jolie
Yo Momma hits Canada 2008-07-22 05:58:32 Hey y’all,
Residents of the icy, Molson-slamming, hockey-obsessed tundra wasteland known popularly as Canada
may have among the world’s highest standards of living and Montreal going for them, but they didn’t have MTV2, and they didn’t have Yo Momma
. Well, until now, that is.
TORONTO, July 21 /CNW/ - The Much MTV Group announced today that MTV2 [...]
Mommas in the News: Jamie Lynn Spears 2008-07-10 03:51:32 Hey y’all,
Nicole Kidman seems a bit too weathered and plastic for offspring. And Jamie
Lynn Spears
, the younger sister of Britney, doesn’t seem quite weathered and plastic enough. But as you well know, that didn’t stop either of them. Spears recently gave birth to her future divorce-proceeding bargaining chip, and she’s pretty happy about it.
So [...] Read more:Jamie Lynn
Yo momma is a joke 2008-09-26 07:36:13 Yo momma so fat that to have sex with her you have to establish base camp and gradually acclimate.
Yo momma so stupid she thinks is Family Guy a gripping docudrama.
Yo momma so fat even Cubism can’t make her skinny.
Yo momma so fat even Sir Mix-A-Lot wouldn’t hit it.
Yo momma so stupid she refuses to visit [...]
You know what I want to see? 2008-02-21 02:35:58 Some more playing of the dozens in hip-hop. I mean, yeah, we have the Pharcyde’s “Ya Mama,” but Bizarre Ride II the Pharcyde came out more than a decade and a half ago (feeling old yet?) and so far not a single rapper or group has stepped up to fill its bright red boxer drawers. [...]
Shaq is back! 2008-02-20 03:44:22 Well, not that he ever went away or anything.
The big news in sports, which I’m sure y’all are aware of, is that Shaquille O’Neal, who is 487 years old and has been playing basketball since all the game entailed was throwing a misshapen chunk of rock at the heads of opponents, has been traded to [...]
Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay… 2008-02-19 00:12:11 Hey y’all,
Let’s say you achieved a great measure of success in your field, and then spent the next several years spending nearly every waking moment (and with all the stimulant use, there are a lot of those) furiously eroding your position with an endless series of extremely poor decisions. How would you go about undoing [...] Read more:Lindsay
The Yo Momma Weekly Roundup! 2008-02-15 21:02:46 Hey y’all,
Have I been a little cranky this week? It feels like it. You know me - for better or for worse, I’m passionate about bringing Yo Momma
snaps to a higher plateau, to elevate them into the respected form of humor you and I know they can be, and sometimes I get a little [...] Read more:Weekly
Damn, Britney. 2008-02-15 04:32:14 Hey y’all,
I know that the important news lately has to do mostly with politics and civil wars - and we’ve been trying to cover that dutifully - but one news item that’s been on the front page near every day for the last couple of months is the slow-mo collapse of the pop star formerly [...] Read more:Britney
I’ve said it before… 2008-02-14 04:50:19 And right now, I’m saying it again. Do something for me, peoples. Go to the Yo Momma homepage. Look at the leader board. The top 5. Notice anything familiar?
If your memory needs a jog, the five top battlers are the exact same as they’ve been almost since the very beginning of YoMomma.tv. And that can [...]
What kind of lamery is this? 2008-02-13 03:09:54 Hey y’all,
Like I mentioned yesterday, Amy Winehouse, R&B’s most crack-addled generation-defining talent, swept up a whole basketful of Grammys the other night and, fresh out of rehab, delivered a performance that even the most cynical pundit would describe as “surprisingly decent.” So I figured that at least a couple of those perennial jokesters over at [...]
You look for a topical snap and… 2008-02-12 03:11:26 So as y’all are probably aware, the Grammy Awards, that annual celebration of the best, or at least the most omnipresent music in the Western world, took place last night. There were no real surprises, save for Herbie Hancock snagging Album of the Year for his Joni Mitchell tribute; Amy Winehouse hoovered up awards like [...]
The Yo Momma Weekly Roundup! 2008-02-09 01:20:49 It’s been one of those exhausting weeks news-wise. Politicians duke it out, storms ravage the nation, gunmen prowl the streets, striking writers clog the streets of Hollywood, and Africa is just…having problems. Some of that was touched on this week on the blog, and some, thankfully, wasn’t. Because who wants a Yo Momma
snap about [...] Read more:Weekly
A little tip for you battlers out there. 2008-02-08 03:25:55 A lot of jokes I see out there on the Yo Momma site have an incredibly narrow focus and incorporate references that the vast majority of people simply are unable to understand. Now a good and obscure reference to history or pop culture can make a merely decent snap seem great, but sometimes the reference [...] Read more:little
Since politics are in the air… 2008-02-07 03:16:44 Super Tuesday may be behind us, but given the lack of a clear winner in any camp, it seems like we’ll all be weathering another few months of the carousel of glee that is political campaigning. To lighten that heavy burden a bit, I thought we might try some relevant political Yo Momma snaps. Like [...] Read more:politics
Super Tuesday 2008-02-06 00:49:01 Unless you’ve been living in the sweaty, fetid area between yo momma’s gargantuan rolls of fat, you’re probably aware that we’re in the midst of the most heated presidential nomination race since…well, since probably anyone who reads this blog can remember. Today was SuperTuesday
, the day that usually decides the front-runner - but it [...]
Versimilitude. 2008-01-31 23:27:36 Well, I can certainly see it…
…although it’s kind of uncomfortably vivid. I imagine this with the plastic still on.
addthis_url = 'http%3A%2F%2Fyomomma.tv%2Fblog%2F2008%2F02%2F01%2Fversimilitude%2F';
addthis_title = 'Versimilitude.';
addthis_pub = 'yomomma';
You’re not even trying. 2008-01-30 00:48:23 What the hell is this?
There is absolutely no excuse for any aspect of this. It’s terrible. He didn’t even bother to type “other” in correctly. There’s an entire verb missing. Camels weigh a lot more than that. It… I can’t… this is almost as bad as Padiwan. Someone’s Momma oughta be ashamed.
addthis_url [...]
The Momma Heresy. 2008-01-29 00:14:52 Have you noticed the odd religious bent certain jokes at Yo Momma
have?
This frightens me, because this man imagines a timeless, infinite mother, existing beyond space, of such enormous and terrifying dimensions that she inconveniences God. It’s really pretty Lovecraftian. I’ll have a hard time sleeping tonight.
addthis_url = 'http%3A%2F%2Fyomomma.tv%2Fblog%2F2008%2F01%2F29%2Fth Read more:Heresy
Yo Momma weekly round-up. 2008-01-25 17:07:10 Three fouls and a double this week at Yo Momma
. We dealt with defunct art movements, complete incomprehensibility, apparent dyslexia, and the rare gem of genuine humor. I always learn something from Yo Momma. I usually didn’t want to know, but I do always learn something.
addthis_url = 'http%3A%2F%2Fyomomma.tv%2Fblog%2F2008%2F01%2F25%2Fyo-momma-weekly-round
-up%2F';
addthis_title [...
Every thorn has its rose. 2008-01-24 21:40:31 Well, after a couple of kind of dispiriting examples, my faith in the gang at Yo Momma has been partially restored:
It has the usual disregard for grammar and punctuation, but it has two great strengths:
It’s spelled right, except for that “slingshot” is one word; and
It’s funny. Watch and learn, Padiwan.
addthis_url [...]
Our public schools. 2008-01-23 22:05:08 Today in “All Children Left Behind:”
It took me five minutes to get “parachutes off the curb” out of that mess. This man’s momma should schedule a parent-teacher conference.
addthis_url = 'http%3A%2F%2Fyomomma.tv%2Fblog%2F2008%2F01%2F24%2Four-public-schools%2F';
addthis_title = 'Our+public+schools.';
addthis_pub = 'yomomma';
What what what? 2008-01-22 19:24:49 Am I missing something here?
She… what? Wears a kimono and can inflate her throat? Has bound feet and eats flies? “Chinese bullfrog” doesn’t appear to be an actual animal; the top search result in Wikipedia is the Chinese Edible Frog, also known as the East Asian Bullfrog.
Go to Yo Momma and write some new insults [...]
Surrealism. 2008-01-21 22:29:02 I don’t understand this.
It reminds me of this old gem:
“How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?”
“Fish!”
Is the general idea “Yo momma so fat, she speaks only in complete non sequiturs?” Because that’s pretty fat.
addthis_url = 'http%3A%2F%2Fyomomma.tv%2Fblog%2F2008%2F01%2F22%2Fsurrealism%2F';
addthis_title = 'Surrealism.
Yo momma weekly roundup. 2008-01-18 09:25:22 Not our classiest week here at Yo Momma. We had random incest news, and then the Three Faces of Eve Padiwan to keep us company. I see from the stats of the lovely Padiwan that, while she has been a member of the site for a six months, only two battles she’s been in [...]
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