Owner: YoMomma Blog URL:http://yomomma.tv/blog/ Join Date: Tue, 28 Aug 2007 11:28:41 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: YoMomma's more than just an insult - it applies to life. Read, laugh and learn how to better call out someone else's momma.
Site statistics:Click here
The Math of Yo Mom (m)a 2007-10-01 20:30:18 So the way I see it there are two mathematical explanations for the success of an insult. First of all, if we take “yo mama” and add the numerical values of the letters (where a = 1 and z = 26) the total value is 68, which together is 14, which together is 5. Every fifth insult I’ve read has been great! Take this for example. I was in the lab, checking out dope or whack insults, and the first fifth insult was: “yo mom so poor that she hangs her toilet paper out to dry”! I laughed out loud! I mean, if someone said that about my mama I’d be pretty pissed, but that was a damn good insult! But there is a problem. If we take the spelling “mamma,” with two M’s, the total comes out to 9. Now on the ninth insult in the lab I got “Yo momma is so poor her house’s “welcome” mat just says “wel”. I thought that one was pretty weak, along with every ninth insult after! Pretty freaky, right? Now, it doesn’t seem to matter if the spelling in the
The Yo Momma Weekly Roundup! 2007-10-12 17:38:00 Hey y’all,
It’s Friday. We officially done with yet another 7-day chunk of our fleeting time on this whirling chunk of rock. I hope everyone reading out there managed to make the most of it.
Man, I’m sorry, did that sound a little morbid? Just been one of those weeks, I guess.
Anyway, onto what’s really important, what has always and will always add just a drop of flavor to your week: Yo Momma
.
We started the week off by doing like Mr. T and pitying some mad fools, with our in-depth exploration of Mr. T and Yo Momma.
Then we reminded the people out there of some of the most epic battles in Yo Momma history and dug up some classic New York Yo Momma snaps.
After that, we made a quick pit stop at the drive-thru and picked us up a number 6 combo with a large Coke and two sides of Yo Momma served up raw with our fast food jokery.
And we wrapped up with a technological retrospective as seen through the eyes of the battlers on YoMomma.tv.
We got some good stuff coming Read more:Weekly
Yo Momma loves technology 2007-10-11 22:12:34 Hey y’all,
We’re living in a computer-centric society today, and even Yo Momma
disses have been upgraded from their analog past and entered the digital age. Look at yourself right now: you’re reading an online blog on a big Web 2.0 site where users get together to sling sick disses about the weight and sexual desires of their mother. Give yourself a pat on the back. You have harnessed the awesome and ever-growing power of human technology to tell a dude that his mother’s got more seamen in her than the US Navy. And you can watch funny videos too. Ain’t the Internet something special?
So with technology in mind, here’s a bunch of the very finest in computer-themed disses from YoMomma.tv. Enjoy!
yo momma so fat she aint got a laptop she got a bellytop computer – hodaddy
Yo momma’s a lot like computers, they both carry viruses. - keet
Yo momma so stupid she thought rebooting her computer was kicking it twice – ICEZ19
yo mama such a ho…
The Best of Yo Momma: Fast Food 2007-10-10 23:19:51 Hey y’all,
If there’s anything I’m pretty sure about after spending all this time on YoMomma
.tv, it’s that y’all love yourselves some fast food. I mean, I suppose everyone does from time to time – like the book says, we’re living in a fast food nation, and it’s pretty hard to say no to some delicious grease formed into patties at 3 AM after a long night, I ain’t gonna lie. But Yo Momma battlers seriously got some chicken thighs and Quarter Pounders on the brain. I suppose when most of the disses are about being fat, there’s gonna be a lot of dudes invoking the Colonel.
Anyway, you want evidence? Here’s my evidence: the very best of fast food on YoMomma.tv.
Your momma’s so fat, when Dorothy wanted to find KFC da munckins pointed 2 yo momma and say,”Follow the really fat b****, follow the really fat b****!” - The Fierce One
Yo mamma so fat the cashier at kfc asked her what size bucket she wanted she said the Read more:Fast Food
Epic Battles 2007-10-09 17:24:38 Hey y’all,
Who can forget the most epic battle in televised Yo Momma history? You know what I’m talking about - the first round of the final battle of Yo Momma Season 2 New York, where every snap had to be related to New York City. Battler BGB eventually won, but the fight was closer than yo momma’s relationship with Popeye’s wings and biscuits. So I wanted to see what the battlers on YoMomma.tv had come up with about the Big Apple, and this is what I found…
“Yo Momma is so fat and stupid, She wanted on the subway diet so she moved to New York!” - FooBash
Yo Momma is so old and stupid, I told her that I used to live in New York and she said: “Really? Well I used to live in the Old York.” - Walde
YOUR MAMMA IS LIKE A NYC UNLIMITED METRO CARD,,,,,EVREY 18 MINUTES SOMEONE ELSE GETS A FREE RIDE - D Money
Yo Momma is so fat, she tripped over New York, stumbled over Chicago, and landed in L.A.! - Antonio
Yo momma so fat when she Read more:Battles
Mr. T and Yo Momma 2007-10-08 21:11:41 Of course I’ve been laughing my ass off reading about fat, thin, stupid, old and ugly mamas. I’ve also been checking out some pretty amazing battles between people of all races, ages, creeds and sexes. There is something I think we should remember, though. The way I see it, we all need to take a step back and remember the great words of a prophet perhaps not quite appreciated enough by today’s youth. In the days before UBL and high-speed internet connections there was one man who tried to remind us that we need to treat our mother’s right. Of course I am speaking of the oh-so-wise Mr. T. In his words, “Remember when you put down one mother, you putting down mothers all over the world. Mother, there is no other, like mother so treat her right. Mother, I’ll always love her, so mother, treat her right.” You don’t believe me? Check it out here.
Read more:Momma
The Yo Momma Weekly Roundup! 2007-10-05 22:54:16 Another long week gone by. I will tell you, there’s nothing like stepping inside your house at the end of work on Friday, sinking into the couch, popping the top off something appropriately bubbly and stupefying, cuing up something familiar and beloved on the DVD player, and making sure to call your boys over so they can be informed just how fat, loose, or stupid their mommas are.
So what did we talk about this week here on the Yo Momma
blog?
We got a little bit too out there for some of y’all with our numerological interpretation of the significance of Yo Momma. Hey - it was Monday, what can I say?
With a tip of the hat to Paul Simon, who is admittedly not exactly the kind of musical artist normally associated with Yo Momma, we offered up 50 ways to use Yo Momma. Or more like a handful, but it was a good title.
And speaking of music, we dug up some more Yo Momma-related musical gems. And you thought only rappers played the dozens.
And finally, because this blog is primaril Read more:Weekly
A bit more history 2007-10-04 18:50:52 A brief inspection of the history of insulting one’s Momma (see Yo Momma) reveals that the first recorded instance of a “Yo Momma’s so…” took place during the Third Dutch War (a military campaign that took place from 1672 – 1674). During England’s attempt to blockade the Seven United Netherlands, fisherman would row out under cover of darkness and fog to within arms reach of the English sailors and scream out insults such as, “Yo Momma’s so stupid she believes that the Church of England should indeed be separate from the Holy See!” The insults quickly developed between English sailors and the fisherman and finally, on December 25, 1673, the first “Yo Momma’s so fat” insult was heard as an English sailor hurled a “Yo Momma’s so fat she’d sink yo row boat!” The insults died quickly though as arms were taken up and fighting commenced. Just over 200 years would pass before the practice of insulting another’s Momma would develop again, though attempts
The Yo Momma Weekly Roundup! 2007-10-19 23:33:34 Hey peoples and mommas,
What’s happening with you? Man, I’ll tell you, I could unload on y’all for about three hours straight about this week, but I know that’s not what you came here to check. You’re interested in Yo Momma
, and it is my sworn and solemn duty to bring you that dozens joy. I think we did a pretty good job of that this week. Let’s look back.
We started out with a couple of ideas. First, one for a new crossover show called “I Love the Real Super Sweet Flavor of Yo Momma 2,” and then a campaign to bring in some new and different guest star blood to the Yo Momma TV show.
And then it was on to the babies, because just like you gotta love yo momma, you gotta love yo babies.
And then we closed up with some supergroovalisticness from a musician who knows how to treat his momma.
Are we gonna have more of that solid Yo Momma gold for you next week? Man, you already know the answer. Peace!
Read more:Weekly
Yo Momma, Yo Music 2007-10-18 20:59:11 Hey y’all,
I was bouncin’ around the web today, like I do, looking for some quality music on that most beloved and cherished of subjects: yo momma. You know we like to talk about music here on the Yo Momma
blog, and we view it as our nigh-on sacred duty to bring you, the loyal fans, the highest quality in Music
to Yo Momma By. Today YouTube yielded this selection:
It’s called “Treat Yo Mama,” and it’s about how you should treat yo momma right. This is an important lesson to take to heart. We spend so much time dissing our friends’ and enemies’ mommas that we might let that carry over into our relationship with our own momma, who of course deserves nothing but our love, understanding and respect.
The music sounds like regular old crunchy American folky-bluesy slide guitar rock ‘n roll, but the singer, John Butler, is actually Australian. Everybody’s mad cribbing our homegrown styles! Still, gotta admit, it sounds pretty good
This one goes out to the babies 2007-10-17 23:23:54 Okay, dig, peoples, I got another idea comin’ straight from my momma-obsessed brain and arriving at your computer screen.
We have to bring Yo Momma to the children.
Again, I’m not talking about your actual momma, because the only time she was ever brought to the children was when your high school had her appear at an assembly as a living example of what can happen to somebody who becomes a teenage crack mother. And I’m not even talking about Yo Momma the TV show specifically. No, I want to bring the entire concept of playing the dozens to all the world’s children, the white ones and black ones and brown ones, the American ones and Mexican ones and Uzbek ones, the boys and the girls, the Jews and the Gentiles, the Swedish and the Norwegians, the Muslims and the Hindus, everyone. All the babies.
And it’s not just because I think the idea of little kids trading vicious snaps is funny, although it most certainly is. Playing the dozens is a free and proven effe
Let’s class up Yo Momma 2007-10-16 19:30:54 I mean Yo Momma
the TV show of course. Nobody could class
up yo actual momma, because she’s so trashy that when she stands at the end of your driveway the city sends a couple dudes to take her to the dump. Yo momma so trashy that you get Christmas cards from Oscar the Grouch. Yo momma so trashy when you told her you wanted to join the diving team she took you to the nearest Dumpster.
But I digress. I think it would be hilarious to mix up the guest stars a little on Yo Momma and maybe get somebody a little unexpected. Usually the guests are rappers, and they bring a reliably down and dirty kind of flavor to the show, but what would Yo Momma snaps sound like when delivered from the lips of, say, James Earl Jones? (They would sound thunderous, that’s what.) Or, like, little Natalie Portman slinging Yo Momma disses. Or how about Jack Nicholson? Can you imagine Jack Nicholson cutting somebody down to size Yo Momma-style? The man is a crazy person - just crazy - and I’m sur
I Love the Real Super Sweet Flavor of Yo Momma 2 2007-10-15 19:51:00 Hey y’all,
Alright, stand back, because I’m about to bust out some unprecedented TV-executive skills the likes of which none of y’all have ever seen before. I am going to blow the minds of any MTV high-ups reading this post. I am going to straight inaugurate a new golden era of quality television programming.
So dig: we have Viacom, one of the big American media companies, right? Now among Viacom’s holdings are MTV and VH1. Back in like 1986, MTV and VH1 were music channels which played “music videos,” which for you young kids out there who may never have seen one are short videos that accompany a specific artist’s song which usually feature the artist doing something silly, like screaming in empty spaces (U2), getting buried under a mountain of naked thighs on the hood of a luxury car while smoking a cigar(any rap video), or flying an airplane for some reason (Jennifer Lopez, the Foo Fighters). Anyway, those days are behind us, and now MTV and Read more:Momma
, Super
, Sweet
, Flavor
OH SCHNAP! 2007-10-24 02:54:06 Hey y’all,
You know that part of trading Yo Momma snaps is having a sense of humor about it, because if you don’t realize it’s all in good fun, you’re bound to get just a little upset. But don’t worry, we here at the Yo Momma blog know how to take a good diss in stride, and to prove it, we’re gonna hook you up with a funny YouTube spood of Yo Momma we dug up. Check it:
Oh snap! I think we got told! Good job, boys.
Miami Bass! 2007-10-23 04:52:38 Miami Bass, if you can remember all the way back to the very early ’90s, was about as raw as music could get. Not raw like “bad-ass,” raw like “Damn, can you say that on tape without it melting?” 2 Live Crew was terrifying staid America with their pure, uncut funky raunch and lewdness long before some dudes from California loaded a Glock and lit up some endo and slowly lowrode their way straight into the middle of America’s deepest fears.
And since Miami Bass was raw about sex, you best believe it was raw about Yo Momma too. Check out this old-school video number from The Dogs.
Man. That poor little girl. She’s standing up for her momma, but I would probably have just busted down crying eventually.
Read more:Miami
The Yo Momma Weekly Roundup! 2007-10-27 00:19:46 Hey y’all,
Man! Finally, a fast week. It seems like just last night I was writing the last Yo MommaWeekly
Roundup, but here I am, primed to kick back and enjoy a high-quality weekend right as soon as I get this roundup fired off and sent to the digital presses. Great how that works. I’m in a good mood. I hope y’all have a fantastic weekend.
Anyway, what ports did our ship of Yo Momma call in this past week? They seem to be mostly YouTube-related - I guess I figured this here blog could stand a little visual enhancement.
First we put on our flashlight helmets and excavated a pristine nugget of classic Miami Bass to wear in your ear holes.
Then we found out about some bright young men who just may have given our beloved Yo Momma a little bit of a razzing.
And we didn’t hop off the YouTube train after that, oh no, we found some Canadian MTV commentators waxing philosophic about Yo Momma.
And then we sent you into a glorious Friday with some meta-Mamma musings.
So
YouTube and Meta Yo Momma 2007-10-26 01:21:24 Hey y’all,
I’ve noticed a bit of a trend brewing in the Yo Momma
community. Much like in the greater world of humor in general lately, certain Yo Momma battlers have embraced the meta-joke, skewering the standard template of a Yo Momma snap with self-referential humor, or something just plain non-humor. Here’s an example taken from the Yo Momma site:
And here’s something I dug up on YouTube
, a Yo Momma battle between Batman and Superman trading some amusingly unamusing meta-Yo Momma snaps. Check it:
I gotta admit, meta has got its charm…
Yo Momma’s video intellectualizing 2007-10-24 23:54:45 Hey y’all,
I’ll admit it, sometimes we at the Yo Momma
blog are guilty of perhaps a wee bit of overthinking when it comes to our beloved Yo Momma and the dozens in general. “But wait,” you say, “Can it even be possibly possible to spend too much time thinking and talking about a verbal sparring tradition and its accompanying TV show?” Yes, I say to you. Yes it can. Not that we’re planning on stopping or anything.
But take a look at these peoples brought together by MTV Canada to discuss Yo Momma. If we’re guilty of it, they’re just as bad.
You know, for comedians, I feel like something was missing…I think it was laughs…
Read more:video
Yo momma so fat even the Force couldn’t move her. 2007-11-02 01:03:34 Oh yeah, I just busted out some Star Wars-flavored Yo Momma dissage. Because Star Wars is undeniably a cultural landmark, as is playing the dozens, so it’s only right and natural that they should be combined into one sweet and sticky piece of pop cultural taffy. But of course, the Yo Momma Blog ain’t the first to come up with such a thing. I don’t know who was, but I do know that the undeniable kings of Star Wars Yo Momma have gotta be those wacky boys who make Robot Chicken. Check it:
Damn! Return of the Momma! Tell me that wasn’t so sick it was choleric. I can think of no more noble use of the esteemed tradition of Yo Momma.
Read more:Force
I…I have no words. 2007-10-31 13:37:06 Okay, I have a few words. Namely, oh my God, I’m glad I don’t really remember most of the ’80s, because they look like they were abjectly terrifying.
To offer ample proof, and to speak some words in defense of all the mothers out there dissed by Yo Momma snaps (with the help of some awkwardly twisting backup singers/dancers and poofy haired ’80s people), here is the one, the only, Mr. T.
What I think we should take away from this is that while it may not be okay to sling a Yo Momma diss, it definitely is okay to work your mom over with one of those trick books that have snakes pop out of them. I’ll try that tonight. Thanks, Mr. T!
Read more:hellip
From an unlikely source… 2007-10-30 14:13:53 Hey y’all,
Sunny day
Sweepin’ the clouds away
On my way to where the air is sweet
Can you tell me how to get
How to get to Sesame Street
Man, who doesn’t get a bunch of warm and fuzzy memories welling up inside when they hear those lyrics? I just immediately go back to my pudding and popsicle days, sitting rapt in front of the TV while a bunch of brightly colored puppets of indeterminate species and gender taught me how to count to ten. And I’m sure it’s pretty much the same for you too. But now I want you to try a little mental exercise with me. Instead of “Sesame Street,” imagine you were trying to get to the corner of “Yo Momma” and “Fat,” and I think the result might run a little something like this&hellip
;
Man, now ain’t that delicious sacrilege? Although I think I would have enjoyed it more - in a childhood-shattering sort of way - if Bert and Ernie had used some more cusses. Maybe that’s just me. But
Shaq, Yo Momma and Israel 2007-10-29 20:58:35 Hey y’all,
Did everyone have a good weekend like I told you to? You best have. I don’t want to hear no reports of frowns or tears, unless the tears are yours because I kicked it to yo momma Saturday night. Ohhhhhh.
Anyway, I was digging around for Yo Momma
-ness, like I do, and I found this interesting bit of pop culture flotsam. It’s Shaq, on an Israel
i news broadcast, dishing out some serious Yo Momma hurt to groups of assembled reporters. The commentary is all in Hebrew, but the Yo Momma snaps are of course in the Queen’s English. Check it:
And what Shaq said to Israel, I say to you, faithful readers: mazal tov, shalom, and I’ll see you tomorrow.
Oh! Ohhhh! 2007-11-06 03:06:23 Okay y’all. I want you sit down. I want you to prepare. Because the Yo Momma blog is about to stick you in a toaster and butter you all up with some especially serious flavor of the old-school variety. For most of you, this will be a trip right back to your heady childhood years, those years when just the mere mention of Yo Momma was enough to start a playground brawl. Oh yes. This will bring you back to grilled cheese sandwiches and apple juice on your momma’s couch while you watched TV. This. Is. Nostalgia!
Fresh Prince of Bel Air - Yo Momma
Uploaded by finash
You know and Will Smith knows - sometimes all it takes to haul off on somebody, even if they are a girl possessed of an impressive sexiness, is for them to imply a disparagement of yo momma.
(And if you couldn’t tell, I got all kinds of fuzzy memories about the Fresh Prince of Bel Air.)
The Yo Momma Weekly Roundup! 2007-11-02 15:54:12 Hey y’all,
The afternoon is winding down. Everyone’s looking longingly out the window as the clock counts down inexorable and slow the few remaining hours and minutes before the weekend finally begins. It’s a time to kick your feet up. It’s a time to hate on people’s mommas. Yours, for example, is so ugly that the timeclock punches her.
Anyway. What did we get into this past week on the Yo Momma
blog? Seems it was another week of sweet online media confections around a chewy caramel Yo Momma core (hey, it’s getting on dinner time).
We started you out with Shaq’s cogent views on the Middle East and Yo Momma.
Then we served up a video platter of mad Sesame Street Yo Momma snaps, courtesy of everyone’s favorite luridly-colored duo, Bert and Ernie.
And after that, Mr. T came out to play, or more accurately to pick you up by your collar and shake you a little for dissing people’s mommas, you disrespectful child.
And then we sent you home Read more:Weekly
The Yo Momma Weekly Roundup! 2007-11-10 05:49:48 Hey y’all,
Kind of a week of foreshortened posts this time around, due to some of those oh-so-extenuating circumstances. Yesterday the whole damned blog was down. I blame the Internet. The Internet, like beer, is the cause of and solution to many of life’s problems. Anyway, I promise that next week will be a little fuller, richer and…dare I say it…fatter. Like yo momma.
What did we get ourselves into this past week then?
First we drank deeply from the well of ’90s nostalgia with the Fresh Prince. It scares me a little that we’re already nostalgic for the ’90s, which seem like they were just yesterday, and also featured many hits by Alanis Morrisette, which is not a great commentary on a decade, but there you have it.
Then I tried a weird little something that I guess went over some heads. Sorry y’all. Not my best, I’ll admit.
And then we bounced back a little with some, um, wordplay. Yeah, wordplay.
So I’ll see all y’ Read more:Momma
, Weekly
You won’t believe what me and yo momma did last night. 2007-11-08 02:55:37 Oh man. Me and yo momma last night…whoo boy.
I’ll tell you what went down, blow by blow.
Yo momma showed up at my door, with some special treats.
And that’s when we started getting down. We stirred it up. We beat. We kneaded. Yo momma sprinkled her sugar and cinnamon all over, and you best believe
that sugar was brown. We put the heat on, and like Marvin Gaye, we were hot just like your oven. And then we baked.
The pie was delicious.
Hey, what’d you think I meant?
The one line diss post. 2007-11-07 04:21:40 Yo momma so dirty she scraped her corns with a cheese grater, mixed ‘em with milk, and made you cornbread.
Yo momma so hairy she was Chewbacca’s stunt double.
Okay, so I lied.
More Shakespeariffic Yo Momma 2007-11-14 03:05:14 Yeah, yeah, I know what y’all are thinking. Shakespeare is boring, Shakespeare is incomprehensible, Shakespeare is to be suffered through in ninth grade English and then forgotten, its place in your mind occupied with remembering the jingles from beer commercials. I know all that. But I’ve told you before and now I’m telling you again, Shakespeare was the rawest cat around in his day. Shakespeare was the kind of person who made dudes bite their knuckles and go “Awwww, daaaaaaaaaamn!” Check out this excerpt from Titus Andronicus, one of Shakespeare’s lesser-known and less-loved plays:
Demetrius: “Villain, what hast thou done?”
Aaron: “That which thou canst not undo.”
Chiron: “Thou hast undone our mother.”
Aaron: “Villain, I have done thy mother.”
Schnap! That joke would be as fresh today as it was in the 1500s! Who said Shakespeare was for the classroom? The dude is meant for the streets!
Read more:Momma
Etymology of “Yo” 2007-11-12 08:42:24 I love words. By manipulating my tongue, making some sounds and moving my lips I’m able to put together a few and diss someone’s Momma. It’s really unbelievable. I also love the meaning of those words. So I’ve wondered about “Yo Momma,” specifically the word “Yo”. See, “Yo” could easily be the possessive “your” but did you know that, according to the Online Etymology Dictionary, it was also used, “as a greeting, 1859, but the word is attested as a sailor’s or huntsman’s utterance since c.1420. Modern popularity dates from World War II (when, it is said, it was a common response at roll calls) and seems to have been most intense in Philadelphia.” Let’s see – hunters used it (when they were hunting Yo Momma’s fat ass that moved like a bear!). Sailor’s used it – well, let’s not even go there. Roll call – Yo Momma’s so fat that when the have roll call, they have to call out all her rolls … one, two, three….. And Ph Read more:ldquo
, rdquo
As 20,000 users approaches… 2007-11-21 03:54:35 Hey y’all,
Check it. YoMomma.tv is currently representing almost 17,000 fierce-tongued battlers. Can you imagine such a thing? 17,000 people all aspiring to bring much hurt to others’ mothers. Sometimes I wish there were more fresh and original jokes, sometimes I wish I didn’t see 500 people all stepping out with the same diss, but still. Damn. 17,000 people.
So of course, if current sign-up trends continue, we’re going to see 20,000 users
on the site soon. I think we need to commemorate that somehow with a special event. I don’t mean like cake and punch special. I mean big. I mean epic. I mean Guinness Book of World Records. A 20,000-man Yo Momma battle. The largest game of dozens that’s ever been played. Think about it. The dozens times 20,000 players must be something like playing the two hundred forty thousands. Are you listening, Guinness?
Read more:hellip
Recommend Site To A Friend
