Sharon Underwood’s letter
2007-09-13 11:25:00
Once again I have come across something online that many of you may or may not have seen before. I would like to republish it here because I think it conveys a message with the grace and dignity that we all wish we possessed at one time or another. Words like this should be shared over and over again.This editorial is from Sunday's Concord Monitor. Sunday, April 30, 2000By SHARON UNDERWOODAs the mother of a gay son, I've seen firsthand how cruel and misguided people can be. Many letters have been sent to the Valley News concerning the homosexual menace in Vermont. I am the mother of a gay son and I've taken enough from you good people. I'm tired of your foolish rhetoric about the "homosexual agenda" and your allegations that accepting homosexuality is the same thing as advocating sex with children. You are cruel and ignorant. You have been robbing me of the joys of motherhood ever since my children were tiny.My firstborn son started suffering at the hands of the moral little thugs
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, Underwood
Wave the Magic Wand
2007-09-11 21:28:00
I was chatting with my pals Margo Moon and Ask A Lesbian and suddenly, I felt the urge to thank those responsible for relief of all the tension in my life as full time mom, full time wage slave, and part time blogger. They agreed, it needed to be said.Etsuhiko Shoyamacom Hitachi, Ltd. 4-6, Kanda-Surugadai, Chiyoda-kuTokyo, 101-8010, Japan Dear Mr. Shoyama: I have not felt compelled to write to a company regarding a product since I got into that little skirmish with T-Fal 15 years ago over the non-sticklessness of the pan they sold me. I know they appreciated the fact I sent the pan back to them, scrambled eggs melded to the sides and all, so their representative could understand when she argued the impossibility of such an event. It was a successful contact, however, having received a check, once I suggested where she could stick the non-stick pan, but, I digress. Some little time ago, after being told by several friends that I seemed a bit tense due to my unanticipated
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I wouldn't need much since I'm sure I would be insane by week 4
2007-09-11 13:51:00
I've been asked the "what would you bring on a deserted island?" question before, but being a realist never gave it much thought. (Just a note here that the dreamer in me CANNOT believe I just admittedly called myself a realist) So with a little more time to think on thing this is what I've come up with. I am taking some poetic freedom with the strictness of the number 3 however.An endless supply of pen and paper. I can't imagine going crazy and talking to a volleyball, but I can go insane
on paper with peace of mind. And there will always be the hope that being stranded was all for not. Perhaps down the road and after I have long been gone my writings will be found and they will make up a religion in my honor. (I'm going to Hell for that one!)A few thousand cartons of cigarrettes and tons of matches. At that point... why the heck not really!A solar powered Ipod (specially made of course) full of all the songs that make me cry. I'll need inspiration for the paper and pen!After rea
3 Little Things
2007-09-09 09:52:00
1. A solar powered telephone so I could order from REI and have stuff delivered. 2. One of those radios like the Professor had in Gilligan’s Island that can be cannabilized to make an iPod or a Hitachi Magic Wand. Are there coconuts there I can turn into batteries? 3. A fully loaded, multi-purpose tool belt. Person: Sela Ward. Reason: I think we have some chapters to finish. Visit Lori at Hahn at Home
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Stranded
2007-09-03 19:33:00
It's hard to pick just three things and just one person to have with me on a desert island. The first thing that pops into my head is my iPod, but after the battery is dead, what would I do with it? Make a battery out of coconuts? Use it as a weight for a fishing line? So, after thinking more about it, my list of things is as follows:A pen (with refills--do they count as "things"?)A big notebook/journalMy teddy bearAnd the person is...obviously, my lovely wife, Meredith. We could spend our days basking in the sun and teaching our snow white skin to tan, swimming in the ocean, and other things (wink wink). And my pen and journal would serve to keep me sane because without some sort of outlet, I would be a complete nutcase.I can sit all day and rethink my list of things. They change as often as my mood changes. The only constant in this "what if" game is Meredith. She's the most important person in the world to me. I could not possibly live without her. She's the only person I can thi
Telling
2007-10-15 11:53:00
© 2007 Sandra Jean-PierreWhitish-grey smoke curled around the tar-black shards of wood. The heat was just beginning to cool enough to allow anyone near the rubble. She squat down near the seething mass. Maybe trying to inhale the last living bits of what was, maybe trying to make sure it was all done. Being there in either case.It was then that she knew it was time for her to give up Voice. For what would it serve now? The people around busied themselves, tamping out flare ups, dousing drenched mounds of smoking burn, anything to keep from looking at her. Maybe they were afraid of looking into her eyes, of asking what would be next because they didn't know, they couldn't imagine what she would say or think. She caught someone's eye - they looked down. She said nothing. Reaching her hand into a cooled pile, she brushed aside the soot, ash, debris. Beneath, a char-edged picture lingered; bright gap-tooth smiles emerged: an impromptu picture of when they all moved into the house. Brot
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The Highway
2007-10-14 01:51:00
This sunlight that has chased me since I stepped out into it this afternoon is warming my face as I drift into dreams. It’s a constant I can feel as I am whisked down the highway. In the background, I can hear Bob Marley whaling out his earthly tones and tunes. The slight burning I can feel on my right cheek is so welcome. It is May and it has been a long winter. This warmth is reassuring to me.The window is open part way and as we drive further west, the air which is slightly cool begins to change. Everything is good when you are lightly snoozing through these transitions. I awake gently as the car slows. We are leaving the main highway and entering a two-lane road. Even though I am not sleeping I keep my eyes closed now, hoping for the sleep to return, but it does not. Soon, and by slow degrees I open my eyes. We have just passed a garden centre and just after that turn left onto a familiar road, which is also a highway. This area, which had been farmland exclusively until very rec
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National Coming Out Day
2007-10-12 12:40:00
Grab a cocktail, this is a long one! When I was growing up in a small city in Iowa, I knew I was different. It was indefinable, because no one ever said the word “Gay” or “Lesbian” and no one I knew was gay, or at least that’s what I thought then. I didn’t know what “it” was or what it meant. I struggled through my various phases of adolescence and experimentation and came out on the side of “normal;” a normal that was never really who I was. Things were different then—and even more different for the generations of Gays and Lesbians who had their own struggles before mine. One day, I knew in my heart of hearts if I didn’t come out, I would surely explode into a million pieces. Every facet of my life was crumbling around me because of my own fears of being who I was. The process was painful. Painful for me and painful for some of the people in my life whose range of reactions was anything from: I was duplicitous and my entire life to th
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Happy National Coming Out Day 2007
2007-10-11 09:47:00
It's been 11 years for me since coming out to my family and friends. 11 years sounds like a long time, but I can still remember what it felt like to hide. I still remember the frustration I had in high school when I couldn't hold my girlfriend's hand walking down the hall. The worst part was how alone I felt when she left me. In honor of National
Coming Out Day I thought I would share a few links of interest. Feel free to share some of your own in comments. National Coming Out Dat WikiWatch HRC’s Coming Out Day Video on YouTubeAbout.com's: National Coming Out DayT.R. Knight Records National Coming Out Day Message
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Admire is not a strong enough a word...
2007-10-10 09:41:00
As soon as I read what this month’s topic was I immediately thought of my step-mother JoJo and why I admire her. On February 8, 2007, at age 51, she lost her 6 year battle with breast cancer. To say that event changed so many lives would be an understatement.When I was 3 years old my parents divorced. They we probably headed for a split from the beginning. They were 17 when they got married and didn’t really know each other the way a couple should when they make that life time commitment. After 10 years of marriage my father had an affair. My mother had him followed by a PI and found out that way.My Dad stayed with his mistress (JoJo) for the next 25 years. It took me until I became pregnant (at 19) to even allow myself to get close to her. JoJo never treated me any different then her daughter, who at the time she met my Dad was about 7 (and is now one of my best friends). I put my Dad and JoJo through so much. I guess I was just acting out at the time. No matter what I did
Aging and Gay, and Facing Prejudice in Twilight
2007-10-09 08:05:00
I found this to be a very interesting article via The New York Times. Please feel free to comment your thoughts, post, or email them to me to post on TLL.Even now, at 81 and with her memory beginning to fade, Gloria Donadello recalls her painful brush with bigotry at an assisted-living center in Santa Fe, N.M. Sitting with those she considered friends, “people were laughing and making certain kinds of comments, and I told them, ‘Please don’t do that, because I’m gay.’”The result of her outspokenness, Ms. Donadello said, was swift and merciless. “Everyone looked horrified,” she said. No longer included in conversation or welcome at meals, she plunged into depression. Medication did not help. With her emotional health deteriorating, Ms. Donadello moved into an adult community nearby that caters to gay men and lesbians.“I felt like I was a pariah,” she said, settled in her new home. “For me, it was a choice between life and death.”Elderly gay people like Ms. Donade
Read more: Prejudice
, Aging
, Facing
, Twilight
The Sleeping Giant
2007-10-06 22:42:00
The sleeping giant had been slumbering for such a time that when she awoke there was much to see and do. It had been so long since her senses were alive that everything seemed new and fresh and the flowers were so fragrant, that she inhaled greedily of this. She took great gulps of the air and blinked into the dawning new day. Slowly she arose, yawning and stretching.The sleeping spell she had been under could still be felt deep in the muscle tissue that surrounded her strong frame. She clamored about the forest seeking a clearing and while she was looking around, she found a pool of water that shimmered in the new daylight and she gasped at its beauty. Never before had she seen such a sight.As she drew nearer to it, she heard the gentle current breaking over the sharp rocks and could smell the way the earth was damper in this area. It was so beautiful to the giant that she wished not to destroy anything around it and she stepped carefully over the trees. She was thirsty from sleeping
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Someone I admire
2007-10-04 15:45:00
Instead of citing once more why I admire the Dalai Lama I think I will say why I admire my friend Petra.I know her since 20 years. Before starting university I took a one year course in foreign language correspondence – a language focused secretary training basically that my Mum insisted upon before I started studying literature - not exactly a subject that promises a job afterwards…So I went. An all girls class. Sounds nice? I can assure you in reality it was not at all what one might imagine. Anyway. I came to sit next to a plump blonde with glasses. We started talking casually immediately, but nothing special. Then, a few hours into the first day, our Spanish teacher, Senor Gonzalez, started cracking jokes, clearly enjoying his all-female audience. Petra started laughing – and didn’t stop for about 10 minutes. In the end everybody was laughing just because she was.This is how I got to know her: a truly devastating sense of humour, a laughter like a 9.5 Richter earthquake. A
Opposites Attract?
2007-10-19 21:09:00
I could write a whole book about my parents and my relationship with them. Actually, I could write three or four books. One about my dad, one about my mom, one about them, and one about them and me. At least. That doesn't even count my two brothers and one sister, and how they fit into this family picture. But for now, I will try to condense just a little bit of the essence of my relationships with my parents into this small space.First of all, there was love. Before I say anything else, I will state unequivocably that my parents loved me, and I loved them. They are both gone now, my dad from pancreatic cancer in 1990, and my mom just last July (2006), her body and spirit just flat worn out with the ravages of type 2 diabetes. I miss them both every day, but also continually feel their presence in my life. How such two totally different people ever got together--and stayed together--continues to be a mystery to me. I suppose you can attribute it to the 50's, to small town life, to an
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, Opposites Attract
No More
2007-10-19 10:58:00
© 2003 Sandra Jean-PierreIt was like it always is: seething agony touched with desire. The faces changed or the perfume was familiar, besides that, it was the same. Except this time, this time there was no giving in, not really. Not until it was the right time or the right place, if ever the right person.Ashes fell in swirls, covering her eyelashes in gray soot and I kissed them, transferring darkish splotches on my lips. She only laughs like she does and I am taken. The soot is gritty between my teeth but I am slow to grind it further into dust, now mud as it mixes with my saliva." Carolyn... Carolyn..."" Yes, I am sorry. "And I give her my far away look; the one that always makes her ask me where have I been and all I can tell her is no where. But all she ever manages to do is come closer and kiss my lips, like kissing me is going to make it all go away.I stir the beans on the side range and turn the ribs over on the grill. I wait until she goes to see about the desert before I sque
Introducing "Queer Love"
2007-10-16 11:42:00
Speaking of letters...I would like to introduce you all to a new blog that a friend of mine has started. It's a submission based blog, much like TLL, but she is looking for love letters. Here's a bit from her first post.There is nothing more intimate or soul exposing than a love letter. For many, the written word is the best way to express their true feelings. It is the way by which we open ourselves up to the one person in the world we care the most about. It seems that the "love letter” is a dying breed by postal mail standards. Modern technology has given us email, cell phones, and the like that have gladly replaced the need for pen to paper. This blog is not taking a stand towards the downfall of technology. It is working to bring the love letter back through it!Queer
Love was created to share love letters, written by queer people, with the world. It’s mission is to share the love and show others just how “undifferent” our love, as gay individuals, truly is. Did he leave
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An apology
2007-10-15 21:20:00
My relationship with my parents has had its good moments and its bad ones. This is a work in progress...a letter to my dad. I doubt it'll ever get sent to him because he won't understand it. Here's hoping someone does...Dad,I hate it when we argue. I didn't write this to hurt you or to make you feel guilty. I'm writing it to try to help you understand how I feel. Please listen. Please try to see where I'm coming from.I love you with all my heart. I love you unconditionally. Every night I pray that you could love me half as much. I used to think you hung the moon. You were my Superman...my "big daddy." No one has shown me the kindness and love that you showed me when you adopted me and chose to be my dad. Not many kids get to say that. 14 years later you tore my whole world apart the day you decided you didn't want a family and left. I didn't understand then and now, 6 years later, I still don't understand. I'm still mad at you. I'm 23 and it still hurts just as bad as it did
Ask the Middle-Aged Lesbian
2007-10-24 08:02:00
I've been through the wars. The dyke drama. I am strong. I've attained some wisdom. I am a middle-aged dyke. So, I decided it's time to share my unique spin on things for those who find themselves confused. Join me for my new weekly feature at Hahn at Home Saturdays.Dear Middle-Aged Lesbian,My girlfriend of 3 years recently bought a cell phone, despite being vehemently opposed to being attached to yet another piece of technology. And, she’s now never without it. In fact, if she walks out of the room and forgets it, she races back in and slides it into her pocket. I was starting to worry she’d never get into the 21st Century! She’s also started taking long speed walks in the evening alone. I asked if I could join her, and she said she needed time to herself. She must be getting in a pretty good workout though, because sometimes she’s gone for 2 or 3 hours. When she comes home, she jumps straight into the shower and into bed and falls fast asleep, poor tired baby. We haven’t
GUEST POST: She's Perfectly Imperfect!
2007-10-21 11:35:00
My former partner was the first and thus far only woman I have ever loved and ever been sexual with. I'd like to tell you about her because I admire her so very much. We began as friends. After our partnership ended and we'd both grieved the loss, we renewed our friendship. This is a true friendship. We trust each other with our deepest feelings. We want the other to be happy and loved. During our time together, she was a true partner, sharing the joys and sorrows of life, sharing household chores, communicating her needs/wants/hopes. My family did not model speaking the truth or identifying emotions. When issues would come up, as they always do in relationship, my ex-partner would reach deep inside to confirm the integrity of what she was about to say. As I watched her consistently honor her personal truth and communicate her needs, I wanted to be as open and honest. In the past, when I would be upset about something, I would shut down and hide. But I was choosing a
Forgive Me Father
2007-10-25 09:52:00
© 2007 Sandra Jean-PierreForgive me Father
,for I have sinned...It has been half a year since I last tasted the salts of a woman.It has not been for lack of effortor torment of soul,for truth be told,I hungered for her vernal flesh with my entire being.The way her backcurves soft,over me in the moonlight,I have been remisedNo longer do my eyesgrow widefrom the sightof her breastsInstead I keep companywith the many nightsof our memoriesand these cold, hard sweatsForgive me Father,for it has been 6 monthssince the last timeI shared in The Lord's gift of passions.If I could,I would have rationed myself,three nights throesfrom this additionInstead, I would haveindulged in her kissesand done away with whatI thought was my callingin making her a Proper Mrs.I have sinned,Dear Father,I have sinned!It has been 24 weekssince last I grew weak fromthe elixir of hervolition'ssince I succumbed toher wicked womaninsistence that Ihave more of herNOW!Oh...dear God...My judgment-it clouds,with this pr
Jan's Top 10 Guilty Pleasures
2007-11-02 06:38:00
10. checking out the lesbians in my area and online9. staying up very late (or until early in the morning)8. dancing all night long7. chocolate mousse or chocolate souffle6. Julie's Organic Chocolate ice cream and ice cream bars5. Hummers made with vanilla ice cream4. Sander's Hot Fudge Cream Puff (a tradition in Michigan - now long gone)3. Hagen Daz Dulche de Luche (hum, not sure how to spell)2. reading all day or putzing on the computer1. making love to the woman I loveJan
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, Guilty Pleasures
The Last Time I Cried
2007-11-02 06:37:00
The Last Time I Criedwas earlier this year. I was still grieving the end of my first lesbian relationship. Then HER brother-in-law died. He was a gentle soul, interested in everything and everybody.He would sit by whomever and meet them where they were. He just dipped into our minds and the conversation started.He was a husband, a father of two beautiful boys, a musician, a friend, a cousin and more. It hurt so much to lose him. The loss felt personal.Some people shouldn't be allowed to leave their bodies until those who remain are ready.....which never happens.I have a lot of experience with families.....there was my family, there was ex #1's family, there was ex #2's family. There were my various friends' families. So when it came to her family, though I am shy and don't know how to start a conversation, I was happy being part of the gathering. I'd occasionally throw in a comment or help set the table. But it wasn't really MY family though they seemed very accepting and friend
Guilty as Charged
2007-11-01 19:16:00
Guilty pleasures? Oh my god, I have to narrow it down to 1o? Well, here goes nuttin:1. Taking a long drive to nowhere, just looking at the scenery. (Didn't used to be a guilty pleasure, but now with the price of gas....)2. Watching old movies on TV when I should be dusting, vacuuming, raking leaves, whatever.3. Fritos and French onion dip.4. Watching Iron Chef. (while eating Fritos and French onion dip!)5. Snuggling in with my sweetie when I should be....doing anything else.6. Cooking a steak at midnight 'cause I woke up hungry--and eating the whole thing!7. Going to a movie by myself.8. Re-reading favorite books for the umpteenth time ("You're reading that AGAIN???")9. Taking a nap in the yard while my wife does yardwork (yes, it's happened!)10. Two words--HOT SPRINGS!!!
Read more: Guilty
, Charged
Last Day to Raise Money for Children's Charity
2007-10-31 11:17:00
For the past month, Hahn at Home has been part of the voting at Blog Interviewer. I'm trying to take the #3 position. The prize shall be donated to the Sacramento Children
's Receiving Home, who work with abused and neglected kids through emergency placement, foster, and group situations. They do good work and their holiday program has started. I'd like to snag one of the big prizes for one of their kids for Christmas.This is the last day of voting. Please click this link and vote THUMBS UP for my blog and tip me into #3. Thank you!Hahn at Home Don't forget to submit your questions to Ask the Middle-Aged Lesbian either!
Read more: Money
, Charity
Entangled
2007-10-31 09:14:00
© 2003 Sandra Jean-Pierrehip-joints sorebut I won’t beginby complaining$350.00 Armani suitscattered on the floor,but I won’t continue onwhiningthe weight of your torsobetween my butterfly-ed legsyour breasts resting on my steady bellyhead dozing on my tender breastsbut I won’t bore youwith cum-plete detailsof how I find myselfwaking up to being entangledin you…hours later,I stroke my index fingerbeneath my nose and smell yourcuntcolognesalivaelixir still permeating my skinentangled in youfor days laterI find I need to ease into my seatto keep my hips from feeling likethey’ve been on punishmentfor keeping my thighs closedcause I am so entangledin yourswaggerand machisma andyou…the way your breasts give yoursuits a new dimensionand the way youalign yourself to my feelingsthe way you stroke my cheekjust to say, I care - I’m hereI want to always wake upto being opened andentangled in you.
Will "everything" ever be the same again?
2007-11-04 01:51:00
I'm now lost. Everything used to be a great word. I used to associate "everything" with "freedom". I tell you everything because I can. When I say something to you it is not a mere whim for verbal diarrhea. When I tell you an event or a thought and even the simplest of dreams, the only thing lacking is your presence when it happened because in the story that I am retelling, I do not leave out anything for you. But now I find myself losing to a battle that I was not aware of. That by opening up to you the way I had gotten used to would now mean a tragedy waiting to happen just around the corner. I can no longer tell you everything. I am suddenly turned into an insensitive devil who spits balls of fire without me knowing it. I become a villain who feels horrible in the end when this very villain never deviced a devious plan in the first place. I am bound to say sorry when I never waged a war right from the start.When I tell you something in yellow why do you turn it into red?I speak to
GUEST POST: From Hayley Johnson in the UK
2007-11-03 10:31:00
Endings and BeginningsWhy do people invest everything they have, all their time, energy, money, emotions, in something as volatile as love? She asks herself as she moves dazedly from room to room of the silent, empty house. Why do we even attempt to try and establish a future, a home, a life, a partnership that we at one time or another, believe will last forever, with something as fickle as another human being? At the door to the living room she pauses, gazing around in complete bafflement. How to even begin dividing things up? How to start the soul destroying process of, ‘that’s mine’ ‘you can have that’ or ‘we bought that together so...’Their entire lives are encompassed in this place, this house they called a home, filling it with material possessions, laughter and music, voices sometimes raised in an argument, sometimes in the passion and ecstasy of their love. This place they lavishly decorated together, they spent days, weeks, working late in to the night, agreeing
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, Johnson
Day Job vs. Passion
2007-11-02 13:01:00
I am working as an HR-Development manager in a multinational company. That's my day job. My passion is writing. Simple as that. Ever since I'm actually able to write.Balancing the two is increasingly difficult as the day job responsibilities are growing and I feel that my job becomes ever so much more demanding and time consuming.Recently I have started writing a historical novel. The story really gripped me from the first line I typed in my word processor. In my job I have a 45-minute lunch break. 15 minutes I spend for the walk from the office to the café and back and for eating my sandwich. 30 minutes I sit there, writing.In the evenings I mostly don't manage a lot in terms of writing because I am just too exhausted and the few hours (like 2 or 3) I need to recharge my batteries and spend time with my girlfriend. She's presently writing her master thesis, which means that the computer and the desk are occupied most of the time and of course an academic thesis with a deadline
Read more: Passion
Lesbian Gamers Launch Website
2007-11-14 08:43:00
I don't know about you ladies, but this girl is a HUGE gamer. The last two months killing people in online multiplayer for Halo 3 on my Xbox 360 has been my own personal therapy. You can imagine how excited I was when I received this press release in my in box. (PS: My gamer tag is KELLY1878 if anyone is interested in playing)Lesbian Gamers
Launch
WebsiteNew Website Dedicated to Lesbian GamersThe blurb says “because sometimes we like to use our hands for other things”, so clearly the newly launched Lesbian Gamers .com knows how to have fun whilst delivering video game content, for lesbian gamers, by lesbian gamers.Stunned to see the lesbiangamers.com domain name free these women set out on a mission and started the site, which will feature daily news, articles, a forum, shoutbox and reviews - all with a little pinch of tongue in cheek lesbian sprinkles. Originating in Australia, on the sunny Gold Coast, Lesbian Gamers.com launched at the beginning of November and is hoping to gain
Women's Work
2007-11-25 17:41:00
© 2007 Sandra Jean-PierreDown to riverslowly we tread,I in back, you in the leadUntidy bundlesupon our backs, beneath our armsI carry the buckets,You the washing powder...In silence,we minister to the sweat stains,the work stains, the aroma of our human-nesscloudy swirlson rivers' surface,wash down and out and away,leaving river clear again...In tandemwe develop our rhythm,yetthrough the corner of mine eyes,I spy your scent,dripping from the precipice of your noseBeing wife,I stand, grabbing the hemof my blouseand wipe your forehead.This chore,this cleaning,we women,doing this women's work...Laundered lives,now hanging and flappingdrying in the yardI fill the sink,bathing the vegetablespassing the rinsed onesfor you to peelYou at my side,I taking the leadMine hand on my hip,the other stirring the potfire beneath brewingnourishment and loveyetfrom the corner of your eyeyou see my sway,my exhausted stanceBeing, You, wifeoffer a chairallowing me to sit,taking the spoon from my hand to
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