Owner: La Bella Noire's Ramblings URL:http://labellanoire.blogspot.com Join Date: Fri, 03 Nov 2006 09:50:12 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: I'm a twentysomething black female navigating through life after college--aka adulthood. I grew up between Albany, NY and NYC, and decided to transplant myself to the DC Metro in January 2006. I'm enjoying my journey, missteps and all. I think hard, play Site statistics:Click here
Stomp-down at the Toystore 1970-01-01 00:59:59 It's Christmas shopping season again, so that means the toy stores are full of savages trying to get the popular toy in time to put under the tree and slap a "From Santa" tag on the box. I had to go to a big toy store yesterday afternoon to buy a birthday and Christmas gift for my godson and I saw grown people acting like jungle animals stalking their prey.I was looking for one of the new Elmo dolls, and when I saw one, it was the last one on the shelf. As soon as I reached my arm out to pick it up, a flash of hair and acrylic nails came out of nowhere and snatched the doll up. The woman ran between me and the shelf so fast that I lost my balance and almost hit the floor, and to top it off, the biyotch broke my bracelet in her haste. Hmmph.I regained my balance, and proceeded to pick up a few more items. Just as I was making my way to the checkout, there was an announcement that Playstation 3's were being made available at the store. All of a sudden I felt the floor shake and I heard
Phawkin Pigeons!! 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Ok, it's getting cold outside. I thought birds fly south when it gets cold. At least that's what they do back home. But I suppose this is as far south as some of those birds go. Fairfax County, VA. Yes, I can see the birds' travel agent trying to sell this location now..."Yes, Vienna is a beautiful town, just across the bridge from DC, with lovely smog from Beltway traffic, and plenty of low-lying tree tops on which to rest your laurels. There are lots of office workers there who take up space for the majority of the day. It's a great place to spend your winter." Well I'm mad at that travel agent now.I was on my way back from lunch and I heard all of this commotion in the trees just above my head. Lots of rustling and strange gutteral sounds that pigeons make when communicating with their homies. I'm not sure if the red shirt I have on today makes me look like some type of extra large berry but out of nowhere, three big-ass birds land on my shoulders and start pecking at my shirt Read more:Pigeons
Michael "Kramer" Richards not laughing today 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I wasn't even going to give this situation my time, but after seeing the apology for his 3-minute racial tirade at the Laugh Factory, I have to say something. I'm mad at the fact that he dropped the N-bomb more times than some 2-bit black comic on Def Comedy Jam, but I'm not mad at him per se. Obviously, that wasn't some drunken misstep or some sad attempt at a joke. Those are his true feelings, even as many times as he says he's not a bigot. Even the 'drunken missteps' are usually someone's true feelings, seeing as most people become brutally honest when they're drunk.When you have to make a statement like "I'm not a bigot", that usually means you are. People who are not racist don't have to quantify their statements like that because their lifestyles speak for themselves. When I hear, "My best friend is black" or "I have black people at my house all the time", that's usually a sign that they've kept track of these things because they're uncomfortable with the fact.Anyw Read more:Kramer
, Michael
Happy Thanksgiving 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I'm going home to see my family today, so I probably won't be blogging until I get back. Have a safe and blessed Thanksgiving
, and eat until you're stuffed. Watch all the football you can! See you Sunday!!!~Tasha Read more:Happy
Fraternity Fake!!! 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Anybody who's spent time on a college campus will tell you that greek life can be the centerpiece of student life. People, especially black people, take their greek affiliations very seriously. Certain fraternities and sororities hold special places in our community. While I myself am not affiliated with any of the "Divine Nine" or any other greek organization, much of my family is. One thing I have learned is that it's completely not cool to fake like you've been through the intake/pledge process if you haven't. The process is very integral, important, and unique to each group and not every average Joe is a good fit.A male co-worker of mine for the last two Fridays (we have casual Friday at my office) has been wearing a T-shirt with the greek letters of a well known Historically Black Fraternity (not revealing the group as a matter of respect). I'm quite familiar with this organization, and the shirt he's been wearing isn't to be worn without the wearer's line name, semester,
Friday Flashback! 1970-01-01 00:59:59 This week's Friday
Flashback video is O.P.P. by Naughty by Nature:Happy Friday!!
Blue Blockers 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Ladies, for the love of everything good, please stop wearing cakey blue eyeshadow if you're darker than mahogany midnight. See, makeup is made to enhance our faces, not make us look like androgynous smurfette creations. I was in a meeting this morning and one of our clients was sporting that look--I wasn't able to concentrate on the meeting at all. I'm on my way into another meeting, but I just had to rant for a moment.
Bourgeois Baby 1970-01-01 00:59:59 An old friend of mine called me at work today and asked to borrow $800 to pay her rent. When I said no, she actually caught an attitude and called me way out of my name. I was shocked not only by the amount she asked for, but by the fact that she just expected me to give her money. It's not the first time she's asked for money unashamedly.This girl and I have been friends since the crib, so that's really why I haven't given her the walking papers. She's a good person at heart, but there are some things about her that I can't subscribe to. First off, she's 25 and refuses to get a job. She's completed her graduate degree and is done with her education, so being in school isn't an excuse.When I asked her why she won't get a job, she told me that she needs to spend her time making herself comfortable and making herself look good. Her parents have paid for her rent, bills, shopping trips, and spa days up to this point but they recently gave her an ultimatum. They told her that she Read more:Bourgeois
Grand-Mama Baby Mama Drama 1970-01-01 00:59:59 "Oh my goodness I'm so happy for you!", I tried to muster as much saccharine happiness as I could when I heard the news. Sometimes I feel guilty for having to pretend that I'm sharing in someone's joy when I'm really actually pretty heated, but this time I don't even feel bad. I just acted happy because bewilderment doesn't travel across phone lines very well.See, I love babies and the hype surrounding them just as much as the next person. Of course I do get irked when people talk about babies and baby showers ad nauseum, but I really don't have a problem with people bringing them into the world responsibly.If KC (initials being used) was telling me that she was expecting a baby for herself, then I wouldn't have batted an eyelash and my happiness would have been genuine. This was not the case though, she was calling me that she'd just found out that she was going to be a grandmother. She's 26 years old!! And she's going to be a GRANDMOTHER. If you want the details, she had h Read more:Grand
Culinary Malfunction 1970-01-01 00:59:59 People will study for years on end to become master chefs, and some cook for fun or practicality. There is a subset, however, that just CAN'T. Boiling water somehow turns into a five hour ordeal and making toast turns into a demonstration of intestinal fortitude. When you have a standing reservation with 911 because you start a fire everytime you cook, you really should eat take out every day. Every. day.How do you tell someone that their food tastes like rotten shoe leather without hurting their feelings? People seem to be territorial over their cooking, and usually for good reason since most people can cook. Cooking ability is something most people tend to trump up. Like, how many times have you heard, "Girl, I put my foot in that potato salad" and when you tasted it, you thought you could actually taste the cook's foot?One of my sweet older neighbors made dinner for me last night because she saw that I've been working hard lately, so she thought she'd be nice and take the stress Read more:Culinary
When home isn't home anymore 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I got back a little while ago from spending Thanksgiving with my family at home in NY, and I'm happy to be back. Usually when I leave there, I do so with a heavy heart, but this time it was different. Of course I was more than glad to see my parents and eat yummy home cooked food, but for the first time in my life, I felt like I was at my parents' house, not at home. For some reason, I felt out of place, more like a guest. I know now what my brother (he lives up I-95 in Baltimore) and my other friends who've moved away mean when they say that when you leave for good, home is never quite the same.Now don't get me wrong, I will be a very proud New Yorker until the day I die, but being back in my hometown just felt odd. I'll always have a strong connection to home--I talk to my mom at least once a day and still keep in touch with my friends who haven't left yet--but I see now that when you leave, most of your soul goes with you. I've lived away from home before, but always in the s
NYPD shoots a groom 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I tried all weekend to make heads or tails of this story (another version of events here) about the NYPD shooting up an unarmed man on the night before his wedding day, and I'm still struggling. My stepsister, who is an NYPD detective, I'm sure has some strong opinions about what's happened, but she's done the honorable thing and hasn't said jack. I wasn't there, so I really don't know the true story of what happened. However, judging by the intense grief of the families and the tight-lipped attitude of the NYPD, this situation has the potential to damn the organization forever.I could very easily pull the race card in this situation, but I'm going to wait until I more facts have been revealed. I will go so far as to say though, that I have never seen something like this happen where the races are reversed. I can't even imagine how something like that would play out. Anyway, what I'm most sad about is that the brother we lost seemed to be a good one. He was engaged to his hig Read more:groom
, shoots
Sketchy Crazy Man of the Week! 1970-01-01 00:59:59 This week's sketchball is brought to you by the letter E for Exxon-Mobil.I was getting gas after work, minding my business. Just after I'd started the pump, I hear SCREEEEEEEECH and see a car fly like a bat out of hell up to the front of my vehicle. I got into "ready mode" because I thought this fool was about to run up on me and do some damage. I kind of wish that had been the case.Instead he goes "Psst. Babygirl. Psssssssst". I ignored him because I don't respond to PSSST. That's just disrespectful. People should know better than to try and approach a woman like that. He did it again, so I answered with a rude "What? What do you want?". I expected some pseudo-slick pimp type of response, but I got much more than that."Girl, you's a healthy muthaf***a. I know how you thick girls do. I wanna get all in that ass and I'll tear it up. I just got out the pen too, so I'm ready to do some xxx-rated shit"I really thought I'd heard him wrong so I pointedly asked him to repeat himself, Read more:Crazy
World AIDS Day Today 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Today is WorldAIDS
Day. Visit The World AIDS
Day Site to learn more about what can be done to fight this insidious disease. We all know how to protect ourselves in the sexual realm and know to stay away from IV drug use and the like, so rather than give some preachy sounding lecture or put all kinds of statistics out there, I'm going to be quiet and allow for some reflection time. Just reflect on the disease and how it affects every single one of us, whether you're infected or know someone who is or are just saddened by the images of and pathos surrounding it.And to the people close to me who've died at the hands of the HIV and AIDS--my godfather, one of my uncles, a childhood friend, and most recently one of my tap teachers--may you all rest in peace. And my prayers are going out to the souls of those who have died, the people left dealing with the aftermath, the survivors, the family members, and people like me--supporters of a cure. With time, patience, prayer, and science we ma Read more:Today
, World AIDS Day
The Great Christmas Tree Caper 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I love Christmas
, so I decided this year to put up two Christmas trees. I figured I could do a nice faux tree in the dining room and a real one in the living room. Having two trees would be great for the holiday party I'm hosting in just over a week. Two of my girlfriends came over to help with all things tree related. The faux tree went up without any major issues, it's one of those pre-lit plug-it-in type of things, so there's no way to easily jack that up. We put on some red bows and left it alone...very classic looking. It actually almost looks real, shedding faux pine needles and all. Nice job, drink some eggnog. Mission #1 accomplished.We then decided it was time to go purchase the real tree, so we piled in my friend's pickup truck and headed to the tree farm/lot/golf course (whatever you want to call it). Walking around looking for the perfect tree felt like something out of the Black Brady Bunch, minus the boys, the parents, and Alice. We were singing all of the corny Chris Read more:Caper
, Christmas Tree
, Great
Hereditary Racism 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I've been paying attention to a startling phenomenon that's got me questioning what we're teaching our young people. I was in the library and I heard some young black females talking about a white girl and how they dislike her based solely on her whiteness. They got to talking about white people and went on a racist tirade of their own. They were saying that white people have no soul and they're essentially horrible people and we need to be segregated once again. These girls couldn't have been much older than 13, so the hatred being spewed from their mouths sent me reeling.Seeing an opportunity for dialogue and education, I asked them to sit down. I honestly didn't expect them to, given the attitude present in so many kids lately. I asked them why they hate white people so much and why they let the word HATE come out of their mouths so freely in regards to an entire subset of people. I don't know what kind of response I expected, but what I got definitely wasn't it. Basically w Read more:Racism
Karate Kid Part 912 1970-01-01 00:59:59 After the kickboxing class debacle at the gym a while back, I haven't had it in me to go back. I've been back to the gym, but to that class—absolutely not. I wasn't about to subject myself to another random butt whoopin', sucker punchin' sparring session at the hands of an over-zealous instructor. I don't enjoy being in pain.I saw that the insane instructor had been replaced, so I decided to give it another shot. I figured the worst it could be would be to have Richard Simmons show up in some red and white spandex and some crisp Reebok Classics telling us to "Sweat! Sweat and kick with the oldies!" I really like the concept of cardio-kickboxing class, so I figured I'd tough it out no matter what.Maybe I should have waited until the evening class, because 5AM was definitely not the right time to be laughing so hard. I got in the classroom, and standing before me was none other than Bruce Lee Jenkins himself! I swear I caught a sniff of Hai Karate
cologne and could hear "Everybo
Holy Hair, Batman! 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I got my hair cut over the past weekend, nothing extreme, just a few inches cut off. I added some highlights, and that was that. The people that I've run into have simply passed along a compliment or acknowlege the haircut and keep it moving. This is what sane people do. But of course, there always has to be someone who oversteps their boundaries. A co-worker of mine whom I haven't seen since before Thanksgiving came up to me a little while ago and said, "Ohmygoodness, you look so great. Let me touch your hair". She said this with arms outstretched toward my noggin and before she could finish her first sentence her fingers were all up on my scalp feeling the texture of my hair. I actually had to swat her away like I would a mosquito.I absolutely hate when people do this. It could be after a haircut, or after I do something different to my hair like get braids or *gasp* a weave, but the end result is still the same. Someone always feels the need to touch my head to inspect the work. A Read more:Batman
Friday Flashback! 1970-01-01 00:59:59 This week it's "Poison" by Bel Biv DevoeHappy Friday
!
The Name Game gone BAD 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I work in an industry that forces me to look at the profiles and demographic information of people across the country day in and day out. So of course, I run across all kinds of names. Normally, I'm not really bothered by the more creative sounding names or the so-called ghetto black names. To each their own. But today, I'm in shock and horror over the names I'm seeing. Parents, I beg you, pleeeeeeease at the very least check a dictionary before bestowing a name upon your child. Your darling offspring will have to live with that name for the rest of his or ner natural life or at least until the legal age to change a given name.I know most of us have heard the jokes. But this is seriously turning into an epidemic."Gonorrhea" "Syphillis" "Oncology" "Chlamydia" "Amoeba" "Dysentary" "Escherichia" "Clostridium" "Angina" "Carotid" "Parotid"Yes, those are all names of medical terms and diseases, and they're also the names of real children. I've spoken to each of their parents. Carotid an
Toddler Say What? 1970-01-01 00:59:59 "Lady you need to move!"Not bothering to look behind me, I said "Sorry, I'll be done in a second""Move bitch"Oh no, you are not about to disrespect me in public like that. I turned around fully expecting to see a grown woman behind me, but I saw nothing. I looked down and I saw nothing but 2 and a half feet of three year old standing there with the fiercest face I've ever seen. I had to stop a second and make sure I was in my right mind before I spoke."Sweetie, where is your mother? You know you shouldn't speak to grown ups like that""Don't worry bout me and my mama she's coming. You need to move, okay"There I stood, a completely grown woman about to get in an argument with a toddler. I was really about to come out of my face with some grown folks words and hurl them at a child. At the grocery store about to get into it with someone whose idol is Dora the Explorer. All I could do was gather my stuff from the self-checkout, and leave in silent fury.What m
Jamaica Funk 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Please pardon the jacked-up attitude of this post, but sometimes I just can't help myself. Let me just put a piece of life advice out there for all of you: if two people are having a conversation that in no way concerns you, stay out of it unless you're invited in or can provide relevant discussion.A co-worker and myself were joking about our Jamaican heritage. Yes people, I'm a full-blooded Jamerican (for those of you who can't figure this word out, Jamerican means half Jamaican, half American. My mom's American and my father--not to be confused with the stepfather that I call daddy--is Jamaican.) Any-stinkin-way, we were enjoying our jokes, some of which would only be funny if you grew up or were closely associated with an island family. Enter co-worker #2 who decides to chime in, "Hey Mon, Me like de Bob Marley Mon. You know you be de Rastafari"Record scratch, dead silence. What in all the hell? Here was this woman whose only experience with Jamaica was a family trip in 1987 an
Neo Soul Neo Bigot 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I hardly ever refer to myself like this, but La Bella Noire is angry.There is a subset of black people that some refer to as the "Neo-Soul" crowd. For whatever reason, many look to this group for their stereotypical academic prowess. More often than not, these are the people that mainstream society sees as the poets, the ones who are racially conscious, working toward creating a united front for our race. Some people, often very inaccurately, refer to these people as the open-mic set, always talking on a philosophical, in tune to the metaphysical aura of our race; able to tap into the emotional nerve of the people and express a pain and passion not easily articulated by most.I can't say that I've completely bought into this stereotype, because I realize that everyone who wears the "neo-soul uniform" per se doesn't think the same way. Everybody has his or her own motivation and vision, and I respect that. But what I don't respect is intolerance.I have quite a few friends and associa Read more:Bigot
Friday Flashback! 1970-01-01 00:59:59 This week it's Run DMC and Aerosmith, "Walk This Way" Enjoy, Happy Friday
!
Thanks! 1970-01-01 00:59:59 When people shout out my blog, I like to take the time to thank them. I was reading an article at Daily Kos and saw a nice comment, even though the author thinks my social commentary is young. So go here and see for yourself. Thanks
for the shout out and considering my thoughts to be interesting.
Sketchball of the week 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I went on a group date (yeah I said date, and what!?) on Saturday and it was all too much fun. Me and an old friend from back home who just moved to the area went duckpin bowling in Baltimore with a few of our friends. Yes yall, old friend trying to be Mr. La Bella Noire, go figure (*swoon* or something like that). For those of you who don't know, duckpin bowling is like regular bowling but the pins are much shorter and the bowling balls are much smaller--about 4lbs.--and don't have holes. So it's easy to launch the ball into oblivion, and it's rare to have a score over 100.Anyway, we were all having a great time bowling and having a few drinks, catching up on old times and the like. Me being the lush I am went back to the bar behind the lanes to get a round for everyone, when out of nowhere comes this gremlin. Let me just reinforce GREMLIN, and I do NOT mean one of those cute 'Gizmo'-type joints either. Allow me to show you what I mean...Just straight up nastiness. I think I thr
Thanks again! 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Thanks to the hat tip over at African American Opinion! Go check their site out. Nice roundup of black oriented blogs. Read more:Thanks
Requiem of a Cellphone 1970-01-01 00:59:59 My baby is gone. GOOOOONE! Not even quite a year old, my favorite Christmas present from last year has died. I may as well call the funeral home to arrange a proper homegoing ceremony.Digression—You ever notice how we black folk tend to act a gotdamned fool at funerals? Always talking about some, "Pookie, take me with you!!" type of mess. I mean, I've seen some odd crap go down at funerals that had me crying laughing and at the same time fearing for my life. At my uncle's funeral, I saw my aunt actually try to climb in the effin casket with the man and when the pall bearers pulled her away she started ripping up the flowers and screaming "Negro, you ain't dead, stop playing with me!!!". I was about ready to start running for Jesus and out of the funeral home. Anyway, she died such a tragic death, ohmygoodness I could cry. I went out bowling with a few friends on Saturday, and left the phone in my bag. Somehow the bag fell on the floor and no one noticed. My friend was c Read more:Requiem
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