Owner: La Bella Noire's Ramblings URL:http://labellanoire.blogspot.com Join Date: Fri, 03 Nov 2006 09:50:12 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: I'm a twentysomething black female navigating through life after college--aka adulthood. I grew up between Albany, NY and NYC, and decided to transplant myself to the DC Metro in January 2006. I'm enjoying my journey, missteps and all. I think hard, play Site statistics:Click here
Called Out! 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Lately myself and a few friends have had some run ins with people and they need to be called out! I'm putting their foolishness in the Bullshit Bag:Don't hate the player, hate the gameMy friend Anyiah called me the other day bitching about this dude she was dealing with and how completely ignorant he started acting. They met about a month ago and have been building a nice little dating relationship. You know--talking on the phone every day, chillin at each other's cribs, movies, dinner, and of course uglies bumpin. I just knew they was about to win the "bun and bunnette" award of the year. But all of a sudden he just stopped calling. No returned phonecalls, no nothing for three days. She knows the deal, she's not so silly as to think that he's just really tied up at work or some foolishness, but she's mad at his attempt to pull the BS. Real playas know how to tell someone point blank that they aren't trying to be exclusive anything, and all you can do is respect that and get you
Got a Date? 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I've tried online dating a few times and figured it might be a fairly easy way to weed out the foolishness and get right down to the decent men. I don't know where my head was at, because anyone who's tried it will tell you that it's just as bad, in some cases worse than doing the in-person "how you dooin.." type stuff. But the in-person is too much fun and I participate like a champ!This is how it's supposed to happen (according to the websites):After digging around the thesaurus for the best words to use in your 2,000 word profile and finding your very best pic, it's on. Educated, articulate, classy, ready-for-relationship (or raw monkey sex depending on the slant of the website) men come out of the woodwork and become great dating prospects. Their profiles are on point, they have great pictures, great email and phone conversation, etc. You go out with a few of them and finally decide to settle down with "The One!". Yall get married, then have your pictures plastered all over t
Friday Flashback! 1970-01-01 00:59:59 This week it's The Fat Boys "Louie Louie"Happy Friday
!
But I Live Here 1970-01-01 00:59:59 This weekend, per usual I hung out with a bunch of my friends and we travelled around DC and Sunday, I decided to amble around the city alone and go to a few places I've been meaning to get to but haven't had the time. Of course, during my travels we ran across none other than the omnipresent tourists. They're everywhere...Metro trains, buses, in the streets, in restaurants...I can't escape them. So like many bloggers before me, and like many that will come after me, I've decided to pen an open letter to the tourists of my city (yeah, I live in a burb, but dammit it's my city too and I hang out and spend a lot of my time here, so I get to voice my unhappines...hmmph)Dear DC Tourists,Welcome to our city. I'm glad you're here to visit, really I am. I know for many of you, this is your first time in a big city and the first time taking public transportation, so let me help you out in a few areas.MetroPlease understand that mornings and evenings are rush hour here, just like in you
Thank You 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Thank You Dr. King for helping to ensure that my future includes doors being opened rather than doors being shut. Thank you for fighting so hard for our people, thank you for standing your ground when others would have crumbled, and thank you for the ultimate sacrifice you made.Most of us are lucky enough to have today off, but rather than sit on your behind and watch TV, go out and do something to honor this great man. Volunteer or even just read to a bunch of kids, just be sure to do something to help someone else realize their dream.Again, thank you Dr. King for helping to make my dream a reality. Read more:Thank
Calling Miss Cleo... 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I've always wondered why the first people to offer up some advice are the people who need advice themselves. Somehow it's the people who are apparently not very good at life telling other people how to go about living theirs. Come on now, what does it look like me taking advice on preparing myself for a promotion at work from someone who can't even spell JOB, let alone have one?Anyway, my bestfriend Lauren and I were at a smallish coffee/bookstore the other day talking about some stuff that her and I both went through with our exes and this crazy little woman came sat down at the head of our table and started dishing out her brand of advice. No doubt that this was rude, but we were so stunned at first by this woman's oblivious eccentricity that we just let her talk. My thought to myself: "This lady looks like the only people she ever speaks to are her cats, so what kind of advice is she going to give? How to select the proper blend of Meow Mix?"Crazy Lady: "Ladies, you need to find Read more:Calling
Ghetto Fabulous for $200 Alex 1970-01-01 00:59:59 **Warning: There is some cooning going on in this post**My melanin-deficient friends and sheltered black fam, I'm really going to need you to stop the use of the word "ghetto" as a backhanded insult immediately. See, the problem with you using the word so freely is that you don't really know the first thing about real ghetto. You wouldn't know the projects if you were magically dropped there. I can hear it now, "Hmm, this is an interesting looking skyscraper condo complex…The residents must be into that shabby chic look" That statement alone disqualifies you from using this word. I know you're probably looking at me funny asking why I'm allowed to use the word, so allow me to explain. I'm an alumnae of The Illustrious School of Ghetto
Hoods and Crackhead Survival. I earned my stripes, along with most of my people who grew up knowing at least one person named June Bug or Pookie. Let's get some things straight about what ghetto is and isn't, and here to help m
Egg Foo Young 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Some stuff you just don't do, and you should just know better. My male co-worker has been asking all of the females at work if he can be our "egg-agent". Basically, he's trying to get us to sell our eggs to a fertility clinic for profit, which he'd take 30% of for recruiting you into the program. He's been trying to hype up the fact that when you go through one cycle of egg donation, you make $5000, but he never mentioned all of the hormones you'd have to be put on nor did he mention the painful procedure of egg harvesting, the psychological evaluations, the genetic evaluations,the body fat restrictions, and the other inconveniences and unpleasantries involved. He was really having trouble understanding why a bunch of us were offended by this. In his eyes, donating eggs would be no different than donating sperm or something, but he doesn't remotely comprehend the personal sacrifice involved. All he sees is the potential for dollar signs. I can't get up with his progra
Negress Natasha 1970-01-01 00:59:59 [sarcasm]I think I'm going to write to Mattel and ask them to create a Barbie-type doll in my likeness with that name. Yes, I can see the slogan now... "Negress Natasha
, cuz she's black like me!" Let's go all out and give her a wide nose and big-ass Wanda lips, too! [/sarcasm]I think a few of my co-workers are on that stuff, or they've got a case of justdontgiveafuckism. Another of my co-workers came to my office to ask some questions about a project. She's one of those females that just looks like she eats small rodents for dinner, chain smokes Black&Milds, and enjoys the smell of her own gas. She looked at the pictures on my desk, and took a keen interest in a picture of my brother and I from New Years Eve and one of me and my girls (you know the obligatory studio pic where yall have on variations of the same damn outfit). She looked at the picture, then looked at me and said... "You're pretty for a black girl. I wish my daughter could have a doll that looked like you"Ohmyfuggi
Friday Flashback 1970-01-01 00:59:59 This week it's Big Daddy Kane, "Smooth Operator"Happy Friday
!
Conversations with La Bella Mama 1970-01-01 00:59:59 My mom has got to be the coolest, craziest, most direct person I know. Of course I mean that in a good way, though (well most of the time). I talk to her at least once a day, and she never fails to cheer me up when I'm having the shittiest of days, not so much because she's my mama, but more because she's like the *female* version of madea (but a lot better looking and more stylish).Anyhoo, I got off the phone with my mom not all that long ago, and she had me almost in tears laughing at the advice she was dispensing.Me: "Mom, I don't know if it's a smart thing to do me talking to him. You know, the daughter thing and all..."Mom: "Ok, and how many good, decent, non-crazy men have you met in the last year?"Me: "..."Mom: "Alright then, soooo what's the problem? He fits the bill and has no drama with his daughter's mother. Why are you trying to act like you don't wanna make that move with him? You've been looking forever for someone who has all his qualifications"Me: "I dunno"Mom:
Let it Snow and Weekend Roundup 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I went up to Baltimore this afternoon to visit my brother, and when I left my place at around 1, it was lightly snowing and blowing around I-95. Already the drivers were acting a mess, but things were generally smooth sailing. By the time I left my brother's and was making my way back home, the snow had gotten much heavier and drivers were acting like they were on a collision course with guardrails and trees. I swear in the 20 or so miles between here and my brother's house, I must have seen at least 6 different roll-over or my-vehicle-is-totaled-to-hell accidents. I'm not sure why it seems like a lot of Maryland-brand drivers didn't get the memo that explained that when it rains or snows that is not the time to drive 85 mph down the left side of the highway. (although I wish more people would drive that fast when the roads are clear and get out of my way). Once I got back toward the DC Urrea I decided to go grocery shopping and within the 40 minutes I was in there, it turned into Read more:Weekend
You Got Served 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I know that waitressing is probably one of the hardest jobs there is—dealing with all kinds of people and their attitudes and bad tipping. I respect that, but while I empathize, I at least expect to be treated with some sort of respect while I'm in a restaurant. I'm a good tipper, so I would at least hope to get treated better than a dog.Me and the girls ate at Uno's on Saturday before going to see that really disturbing "Alpha Dogs" movie. We've been there plenty of times before on Saturday nights, so we weren't put off at all by the number of scandalous looking teenagers in clumps that were cloying for each other's attention and the attention of a few members of the waitstaff.About five minutes after we were seated, our server came up to us and said, "Yall gon' have to wait 'bout five minutes then I'mma come and get ya order for dranks and appetizers"We made the collective "What in the damn hell?" face, but let it slide. Once this chick came back she was like, "Whatchall w
Sex, Lies, and Tap Shoes 1970-01-01 00:59:59 If you weren't already aware, I've been tap dancing for most of my life, and have been teaching for about seven years. This past September, I started teaching a competition class for 5-8 year olds and a regular performance class for 9-11 year olds. I teach my older girls two mornings a week. Now I know that girls this age can be a handful. That whole pre-teen, "tween phase is really awkward for most as they try to figure out who they are and what they want to be, but I'm really worried about these girls. This morning, just as we were getting ready to stretch, I caught a bit of a conversation that really disturbed me. Keisha*: "I think I'ma get up with him on Saturday" Meija*: "You mean do it with him?" Keisha: "Yeah" (whispered something very low—couldn't hear it) "I know Carmen and Da'Ron did it, and she said it didn't hurt too bad" Meija: "Oh my God. Well I don't know. That's such like a crazy thing to decide. And where will you do it? And wha
Little Girl, Interrupted 1970-01-01 00:59:59 After I left the dance studio yesterday morning, I went to work but couldn't really think straight. I was pretty much operating on autopilot thinking about all of the things I wanted to say to my lost dance student. So when I got home, I called her and offered to take her to dinner to talk. I really wanted to get into her head to see what she's been thinking about and let her know that she can come to me if she needs. I didn't tell her that I heard her conversation, but instead told her that I'm talking to each of the girls this way because I know it's a hard age for them. So I let her tell me what's going on in her own words. Me: "If you ever have anything at all you need to talk about and you feel like you can't go to anyone else, I'm here to listen, ok. I just want you to know that"Keisha: "Thank you. Miss Tasha, can I tell you something?"Me: "Of course."Keisha: "My boyfriend wants to do it but I'm scared because I know that's how you get babies and I know you can get si
Beltway Buggin' 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Everyday I'm on that asphalt go-kart track also known as I-495, The Capital Beltway
, The Capital Parking Lot, Hell, or whatever you want to call it. Without fail, I see some crap-tastic demonstrations of driving skills and other mess that sends me into unflattering bouts of road rage. This morning, I think I forgot my calmness at home, because it was all cussin, fussin, and middle fanger flailin from Laurel to Vienna. So even though the people I'm talking about will probably never read this, I'm gonna put them out there anyway.Silver Benz Truck w/Delaware Tags- Get your gotdamned finger out your nose. You are a grown ass man, if you're going to "pick and roll" like that in your car, at least do it in the darkBlack Yukon w/the basketball clingy stickers on the back- Two words bytch: turn signal. Those are the little arrows pointing to the right and left on your dasboard near the speedometer. When you want to change lanes, use those so you can tell the people behind you that you're
To Whom It May Concern 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Normally I'm not a shy person. I can usually say what's on my mind with relative ease to anyone,regardless of how much "power" they hold. That being said, there are some things that i just haven't been able to say to various people in my life, so I'm taking this time to write them short letters to say the things I need to say."...You make me feel like a little bitty girl in the best way possible. I can't help but be happy when I see your name in my inbox or whatever and when you say the things that you know make me smile. You're so different from the rest and in a short time have taught me a lot about the relativity of happiness and how to be happy and confident in every situation I'm in...""...Thank you for everything that you do for me. I don't know what I would do without you. You're everything I want and hope to be when I grow up. I love you more than life itself...""...You stepped in when you didn't have to. Most people just ignore the "problem" and don't make it their Read more:Concern
Friday Flashback 1970-01-01 00:59:59 This week it's Ice Cube, "Today Was a Good Day"Happy Friday
!!!
Five Things 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Aulelia and JaySpice both tagged me, so here you go...Five Things Yall Didn't Know About Me1. When I was a little girl, I wanted to grow up to be a rodeo clown My mom took us to Texas for the first time to visit family when I was about 5 or 6. We went to see a rodeo, and I was enamored with the rodeo clowns. For a period of about a year, all I wanted was western wear and lasso lessons.2. I'm a Michael Jackson semi-stan I ADORED MJ with every fiber of my being as a small child, and the first time I saw the Thriller video (well actually The Making Of..), I knew I wanted to take dance lessons so I could be like him and his backup dancers, and maybe be in his next big video spectacle. I used to run around with the red leather jacket and one white glove, with one of my gramma's jheri curl wigs on--this was the 80s, so she was allowed to have a wig like that :-). To this day, I still love old school Mike,can still do the dances blindfolded, and will get real defensive if people
In Pursuit of Trashyness 1970-01-01 00:59:59 My apartment complex is a pretty nice little place, many of us are single or are young couples, some with little children. We tend to be very tidy people and mostly keep to ourselves. However, there is always that exception to the norm. These people have me wondering if it's time to move or if I should get grimey and do something to teach them a lesson. My next-building-over neighbors are some mullet-having, tight-jeans wearing, cheap beer drinking, trashy-ass people. I mean, these people are the type to toss trash out to the dumpster from their windows—their apartment is situated about 15-20 feet from the dumpster outside. Now I've seen nasty people before, but these trailer-trash rejects absolutely take the cake. A girlfriend of mine lives in the apartment directly under them, so I've had a few too many run ins. These people will walk around in public with fly unzipped, gut hanging out, gray grizzly mountain man beard (YES the woman too), suspenders over a grody looking plaid
Double Dutch Bus 1970-01-01 00:59:59 That was my JAM! "Dizzouble Dizzutch! Dizzouble Dizzutch!"A few weekends ago when the weather was still resembling Miami, a bunch of my friends and I were feeling nostalgic (well actually someone started singing "Back in the days when I was young, I'm not a kid anymore, but some days I sit and wish I was a kid again..."), so we went to the church parking lot next door to where I live and played some of our favorite playground games. We played a mini-me version of dodgeball for about 20 minutes, then got down with the ropes. It took a minute for us to get our legs back under us, but it seems like double dutch is like riding a bike…once you learn, you never forget.While we were playing, a group of about 4 or 5 girls walked by and asked us what we were doing. We told them that we were playing double dutch and invited them to join in. They didn't even know what they game was, which was almost surprising to me, because many little girls seem to have an instinct of what to do with two j Read more:Dutch
Stop The Madness Now! 1970-01-01 00:59:59 When will shit like this stop?!I refuse to believe that a bunch of COLLEGE students don't see how throwing a party and dressing like this could be remotely considered unoffensive:Two separate incidents at separate colleges, this time at Clemson University. Some kind of fraternity, Delta Iota Kappa (more like Dumbass Ignant Kids) threw this party as a Martin Luther King, Jr. day party/celebration. So when does dressing in blackface equate honoring a great man? Right, that's exactly what I thought...it doesn't!There have been more parties like this being trickled throughout the media, so I guess maybe I shouldn't be as shocked as I am. But I'm having a hard time getting past the statement that gets echoed each and everytime a party like this gets leaked or posted on Facebook, etc : "We really didn't mean it to be offensive". Riiiiiight, and your great great granddaddy didn't see it as offensive either when he was buyin and selling negroes for sport. Riiiiight. Save that damn argue Read more:Madness
Phenomenally 1970-01-01 00:59:59 This is in dedication to all of the women out there who do the every day balance between "superhero" and "around the way girl". Everyday we get up and deal with the ugliness in this world, but we manage to do it with grace and style. We manage to hold our own in a man's world without compromising our womanhood or femininity. Whether we're being a student, being a CEO, being a mommy, being a lover, just being, or all of these we're all phenomenal women.Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's sizeBut when I start to tell them,They think I'm telling lies.I say,It's in the reach of my armsThe span of my hips,The stride of my step,The curl of my lips.I'm a womanPhenomenally.Phenomenal woman,That's me.I walk into a roomJust as cool as you please,And to a man,The fellows stand orFall down on their knees.Then they swarm around me,A hive of honey bees.I say,It's the fire in my eyes,And the flash of my teeth,The swing in my waist,And the
Creating a Black HerStory 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Ring ring ring.Me: "Hello?"Keisha: "Miss Tasha?? It's Keisha*"Me: "What's up? Sweetie, it's really late, why are you up?"Keisha: "I need to talk to you. I promise you I didn't know"Just from that statement alone I knew I was in for some news I didn't want. Holding on to the promise of an 11 year old is an uncertain thing to do, but way in the back of my mind and the back of my heart I just knew she wasn't going to allow herself to be compromised in that way.Me: "What didn't you know?"Keisha: "He told me that it wasn't sex if I let him put it in my ass-hole. Sorry, I know that's not good to say that word like that, but that's what he said. So I let him, but I found out that it was sex. I promise I didn't know"Me: (to myself: Lawdamercy!) "Wait. You mean what we talked about. Saturday at the party?"Keisha: "Yeah. Miss Tasha, I'm sorry. I didn't know. I didn't know!!"Me: "Calm down, I'm not mad. Are you okay though? I mean like is your body ok?"Keisha: "Yeah, I'm okay and Read more:Black
, Creating
Black History Friday Factoid 1970-01-01 00:59:59 In honor of BlackHistory
month, rather than do a Friday
Flashback, I'm giving out Black History
factoids.On this day in 1990, South African president F.W. De Klerk promised to free Nelson Mandela and lift the ban in his country on Black membership in the African National Congress.Also on this day in 1995, the first African American walked in space. While other African Americans preceeded him in space, he was the first to perform a spacewalk. He served as Payload Commmander on STS-63, the first flight of the joint American-Russian space flight program. Read more:Factoid
Big Game Weekend Recap 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Hope yall had a good weekend and enjoyed watching The Colts run stuff last night. At least the first quarter was good, but it was all downhill for Chi-town after that. Anyhoo, this weekend had the potential to be relaxing, but somehow it just didn't go that way. Friday night was the usual...friends over till the wee hours of the AM, really long talk with PrettyBoy (wannabe Mr. Tasha #2) and that was that. EXCEPT for this shit here.... Ol' Girl (my friend till the grave) called me at 10PM saying, "Yo Tash, can you come pick me up? I'm on the side of I-895 up in Bmore city next to the entrance to the tunnels. A cop pulled me over and says I need someone to come get me or he'll lock me up and have my car towed."Me: "What in the hell? Are you drunk"Her: "Nah, I was speeding. So I need two people to come get me, one to drive my car home and the other to drive up here cuz you can't do both. Hurry cuz you know I don't know Bmore too well"Me: "Umm. Well, you can't go anywhere since they Read more:Weekend
, Recap
Sick on a Snow Day 1970-01-01 00:59:59 It snowed an inch overnight, and it seems like just about every school in the DC Urrea is closed or on some kind of delay. This is pure comedy to me. Back home in the tundra, an inch of snow is nothing but an annoyance. I saw people here stocking up on water and batteries like the apocalypse was coming. I'm afraid to see what would happen if we got some real snow here.Anyhoo, I'm home sick today and probably tomorrow too. I fell and busted my ass in the shower last night and ended up bruising a kidney and at the doctor today found out that I also have a kidney stone on the same side. So I'm in take it easy mode all day since I'm in pain. I'm gonna try and get my taxes done and catch up on some at-home paperwork. But more than likely I'll fall victim to my sofa and these horse-pill painkillers I was prescribed and end up napping like the doc told me to. What a way to enjoy a snow day right? Two thumbs waaaay down.
Friday Flashback 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Hey yall, I'm back in business! Thanks for the get well wishes. I'm not back to 100%, but definitely back from the grave. Anyhoo, this week we have "Bassline" by Mantronix. The quality isn't great, but you get the idea.Happy Friday
, have a great weekend!
More Conversations with La Bella Mama 1970-01-01 00:59:59 My mom is coming to visit this weekend and I'm so happy since I haven't seen her since Christmas. Normally she Fed.Ex's me cookies in between my visits back home (call me a mama's girl, I don't care!), but she's been slacking lately so she told me that she'd make me some when she gets here. Yay for moms! (Yeah I said it, and what!?My mom is just as crazy as the day is long, and of course she always manages to find some way to get on the topic of my dating life.Mama: "So, this PoliceBoy character...He's a real cop, right?"Me: "Yes ma'am"Mama: "So did he graduate from the police academy or did he go to one of those schools that advertise during the daytime talkshows offering a 'Degree in Law Enforcement'?"Me: "Mom. He's a real cop. Police Academy and all"Mama: "Okay, cuz I can't have you dating some substandard wanna be Sgt. Hightower (from the Police Academy Movies if you don't know)"Me: "Stop playin, were not at the dating point though"Mama: "I'm serious baby. What if so
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