Owner: Me, Myself An Eye URL:http://thebeautifulstruggler.blogspot.com Join Date: Fri, 03 Nov 2006 00:48:41 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: This is the ranting space of a single Black female artist warrior trying to survive her early twenties/ the crazy things that happen to her each day/the gentrification that forced her to live outside the city/the GRE and grad school applications/ the sorr Site statistics:Click here
Please Accept This 'Pology From Me 2007-03-11 18:24:00 Oh, baby.Who'da thunk this fool would have found his way BACK into my blog, only days after the last time? Thanks to the dastardly minds at Crunk And Disorderly , I have found the next step in K-Ci "Kendu can't do what I can do" Hailey's attempt at world domination. I present to you K-Ci's new video, "I Apologize", sponsored by Wild Irish Rose, Night Train and a lil' bit of that Ron Reagan*. Enjoy!-When a student in the poetry class I took in high school would recite a piece that was unclear, my teachers would always say "In one sentence, tell us what this poem is about". I would like to throw that question to the director of this video. 'Cause from where I'm sitting, it didn't make any sense. There's the Mary J. Blige character (K-Ci's ex-girl, for those who didn't know), who somehow ends up rubbing his tummy at the end. Then there's all the other women. If he's apologizing to all the women he's hurt, then why did he put his hand in the White girl's face like that? That Read more:Please
, Accept
Me, Being Lazy 2007-03-14 15:34:00 Yeah, I'm doing a survey. I have no story to tell from my heart today. So enjoy learning more about me or send me some bomb-ass allergy medicine to bring my soul back!1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RING?No, but I have 6 more years until I panic about it.2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP?Negligable. I think Malcolm X was longer.3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED?Can't remember. I don't think anyone loves me.4. EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE?One too many time on one too many phones.5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU PLAYED TRUTH OR DARE?Sometime last year.6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON?Alcohol, gas. Hmmm. Sounds sad.7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE?I tried to put canned salmon in the oven and trick myself into thinking it was like fresh salmon. It was disgusting.8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?"Is he cute?"9. SOME FAVORITE SONGS?Today- "Come With Me Angel" by Marvin Gaye10. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?Pretty Ghetto County, in the shadows of DC.11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED:Whitney M. Young Magnet High School,
Since I've Been Gone 2007-03-15 15:29:00 Hello, children. I've been in a funk all week, for no particular reason. And I've been shamming on my blog. In the meantime, there have been a lot of things going on in the world, and you haven't had the guidance that you need in this thing called...life. Have no fear, Toldja's here.Having Too Many Babies Is The Jolie-PittsDespite having numerous children under the age of 8 (one of whom was only born about a year ago), Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are adopting ANOTHER baby: a Philapino boy. Jolie has been quoted as saying she wanted another Asian and another African baby. This woman is a mommy pimp! There's not hardly enough love to go around for so many kids, but I bet she makes them all feel real special. "Maddox, you know you're my favorite- you're my first!" "Oh, Zahara! You're my first girl! Of course you're my favorite!""Shiloh, you have a very special place in my heart. I carried you for nine months. However, it's not quite the same as when you pick out a poor little i
The Realest Sh!T I Ever Wrote 2007-03-17 05:11:00 Hello, my friend. I know you may have come here for your daily dose of laughter, or even a piece of biting social commentary. You may even just want to hear me bust on your favorite R&B singer, so you can leave me a nasty note in my comments section. I'm sorry, but I may just have to disappoint you this evening. I gotta get some personal things of of my mind. Feel free to bounce. And if you want to hear a joke, go to http://thebeautifulstruggler.blogspot.com and click on "Greatest Hits". The Ikea post is always good for a chuckle. But tonight, it's just me being me, in a very different way. One of my favorite books, "Shifting: The Double Lives Of Black Women In America", has a line that gave me great pause. One of the authors pointed out how the fact that Black women refer to Black men as their "brothers" may complicate some of our gender issues. I have recently realized that the fact that I think of Black men as brothers has certainly allowed me to have some somewhat unrealistic ex
Since I've Been Gone 2007-03-15 15:29:00 Hello, children. I've been in a funk all week, for no particular reason. And I've been shamming on my blog. In the meantime, there have been a lot of things going on in the world, and you haven't had the guidance that you need in this thing called...life. Have no fear, Toldja's here.Having Too Many Babies Is The Jolie-PittsDespite having numerous children under the age of 8 (one of whom was only born about a year ago), Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are adopting ANOTHER baby: a Philapino boy. Jolie has been quoted as saying she wanted another Asian and another African baby. This woman is a mommy pimp! There's not hardly enough love to go around for so many kids, but I bet she makes them all feel real special. "Maddox, you know you're my favorite- you're my first!" "Oh, Zahara! You're my first girl! Of course you're my favorite!""Shiloh, you have a very special place in my heart. I carried you for nine months. However, it's not quite the same as when you pick out a poor little i
There Are, In Fact, Things That Make Me Smile 2007-03-18 18:34:00 Since my last blog entry was sort of a downer, I decided to share 22.5 things that bring me some happiness at 22.5 years of life. 1)The T-Mobile MyFaves Plan- Even though I had to lose my phone to get it, I am so excited that I can sit and talk to certain people outside the T-Mobile network all day long! That combined with my Mobile-To-Mobile and unlimited text messaging, and my phone bill will be crumbs! 2)"Smooth Grooves: Crusing Classics" Yeah, I got (another) one of those dusties compliation CDs; had I a burner, I would have wrote down the track and just downloaded them at home. But it's a great record: "Be Thankful", "Golden Time Of Day", "Let's Do It Again", "Cruisin'", etc. Makes my raggedy Jetta feel like a '87 Buick Lebaron.3)Babies And Children- I have a very bad case of "baby lust" for someone my age. Even though motherhood is a ways away (about 8-9 years to be exact, if everything goes according to plan), I honestly can't say there isn't a day I don't look forward to Read more:Smile
Love Jones: The Greatest Lie Ever Sold 2007-03-17 17:39:00 I wrote this on Saturday afternoon, as I was trying to stack my entries for the week in advance. Clearly, I was in the same mood as I was with the last post. I will warn you that some of what I said, I personally found to be a bit out of pocket. But, this entry sparked a very interesting debate on my Myspace page, so I have decided to post it here. I swear, I have some funny anecdotes for you very soon! Please, flood the comments section with your thoughts! And thank you for everyone who posted something on Monday. I read and absorbed all of your words and I do appreciate them! Sidebar- So, I'm in one of those crowded hipster restaurants using the free wi-fi. My waiter took THIRTY minutes to get to me, and greeted me right at the same time he did two tables who came in minutes ago. And he took one of their orders before he took mine! When I called him on it, he SNAPPED on me- "How would I know how long you have been here, when they keep seating me? I'm sorry but I have a very large s Read more:Greatest
, Love Jones
Yo! Bum Rush The Grocery 2007-03-21 15:12:00 I found this funny: it's Jason Alexander (George Costanza) singing about the McDLT. Prize for who ever can figure out what the "D" stood for.Speaking of Mickey D's, remember the commercial with "Calvin"- the boy who got a job flippin' burgers and became the MAN in his neighborhood? Well, due to technology and corporate greed, there won't be too many more Calvins. One day, it may be the case that you drive to a fast food window and the voice you hear is coming to you from India. And no, I am NOT kidding! Calvin has a lot to compete with to keep that crummy job. The same is happening at the grocery store. Have you seen those self-checkout machines? What is that about? Are they there so you can fulfill your long time fantasy of being a grocery clerk? No, those things are there because they are cheaper to have than real life people who need jobs. I also have another theory: as you know, theft allows stores to raise prices, to cover the cost of the items they lose. Some areas experience Read more:Grocery
A Life Truly Like No Other 2007-03-18 20:31:00 I know I've said this before, but I honestly do see things that no one else does and the things that happen to me in my day-to-day life are, at times, odd. I hope that these aren't my "riches"- that my tendency to have funny things happen to me/before my eyes is NOT the prize the Lord has bestowed upon me. I'd rather take what's behind door number three, God. -The other day, I was driving downtown and bumping Public Enemy's It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back. As I sat in a parking spot, waiting for it to become legal 6:30, a crackhead approached my car. He asked me for some money and I told him no. Then he said "I hear you playing that old school Public Enemy. Let me hear "Night Of The Living Baseheads". Okay, if you don't understand what just happened, please go to Urbandictonary.com and look up "baseheads"....yeah, that was crazy, right?- I saw six fire-fighters, dressed in bright orange and lime green hazmat gear,on Rhode Island Avenue, NE. The sight of them scared
You Got Smited b/w It's Good To Be Bad 2007-03-25 20:04:00 In my last post, I mentioned the magical windfall I recieved in the amount of $55 on Thursday night. Well, it turns out that after purchasing a round of drinks in the amount of $24 for myself and my friends, I must have dropped the rest of the cash. Gone. Just like that. The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away.Was I wrong for taking the money in the first place? I honestly think that the dude was trying to give it to me, to show off. Like "making it rain", except for with one person and two bills. I'm trying to figure out why I lost it. Was God punishing me? And what is the past tense of smite? Smote? Smited? I'm gonna roll with smited. I totally got smited. Even though I think smote is the proper word. Oh well. I don't think I deserve much smiting, 'cause I'm a REALLY good person. It just so happens that I am also a bad girl. There's no better dichotomy, and you wouldn't want to meet a person what was the other way around: a good girl who is a bad person....in other words, a
I'm A Trip, So You Would Fall For Me 2007-03-27 06:23:00 You know what I think?I think DJ Premier and Pete Rock should hook up and do a record, a la Madlib and Jay Dee (RIP) with Jaylib. They could call it "PreRock" or "Premier Rock", or even "DJ Premier and Pete Rock Actually Have Talent, Unlike These New Suckas". I already have the emcees and singers lined up: Guru, Mos, Kweli, Jean Grae, Pharoahe Monch, Q-Tip, Common, Murs, Jill Scott, Bilal, Jeru The Damaja, De La, Nas, Lupe. Jay-Z would probably make it on there (but not at my behest), because people think he is God. He's like a cancer. Last I heard from Premier was when he did Christina Aguilera's last record. I'll just say this: one, if Hip-Hop is dying (which it is) we need our masters at home. Not working on dirrrty Pop. Two: I hope Primo wasn't a beneficiary of Christina's "fucking for tracks" habit. She's a slore.Also- I don't know who I hate more: Akon and T-Pain, or their mothers for chosing life*. The former, who has the second shittiest voice of life, had the nerve to d
I'm A Trip, So You Would Fall For Me 2007-03-27 06:23:00 You know what I think?I think DJ Premier and Pete Rock should hook up and do a record, a la Madlib and Jay Dee (RIP) with Jaylib. They could call it "PreRock" or "Premier Rock", or even "DJ Premier and Pete Rock Actually Have Talent, Unlike These New Suckas". Last I heard from Premier was when he did Christina Aguilera's last record. I'll just say this: one, if Hip-Hop is dying (which it is) we need our masters at home. Not working on Pop. Two: I hope Primo wasn't a beneficiary of Christina's "fucking for tracks" habit.Also- I don't know who I hate more: Akon and T-Pain, or their mothers for chosing life*. The former, who has the second shittiest voice of life, had the nerve to discover the latter, who has the first. T-Pain needs his ass whupped for actually CROONING the words "I'ma buy you a drink/I got money in the bank". Speaking of money, I hope he got a fair share of that bag of nickles someone beat him and Akon with. Additionally: I hate 3-6 Mafia more than almost anything
Death And The Queen's Horsefly 2007-03-28 01:53:00 There is the biggest fly of LIFE in my apartment. I am just sitting here quietly, waiting for him to kill me. There can be no other ending to this. I've seen smaller children than this fly.Shucks. What a way to go. In the meantime, I just thought about something I read in Vibe Magazine about two years ago, maybe more. There was a brief interview with Shock G aka Humpty Hump* of Digital Underground. He stated that the Humpty character tookover his being and overshadowed whatever image he had as Shock G. He went on to say that he had woke up in a cold sweat on more than one occasion, screaming "NO! I'm Shock G! I'm Shock G!"Now, either this is one of those examples of satire or sarcasm not translating well in to print, or dude is crazy. Shock G ain't no damn real name. For those of you who have nicknames or blogger aliases, when you think of yourself, do you think "Peaches" or "Ray Ray" or "Kitty Karmel" or "AngryBLKMan" or "SoccerMom45"? Or do you think of yourself by your grown up, Read more:Queen
The End Of An Era (THANK GOD!!!!!) 2007-03-29 17:03:00 Starting next Monday, my "single housewife, no kids" days are done. I am returning to the working world. No more sleeping in (boooo), no more "discount salmon" (eh...) and no more brokeness (whoo-hoo!). Well, there's gonna be a few more weeks of brokeness, 'til I get paid. And I have some bils to catch up on, so I won't be truly enjoying the fruits of my labor for a little while. But there will be an improvement in the quality of my life, oh yes indeedy.So, the job.....I must say first that it pays significantly better than my last gig (I was a middle-school teacher). But my last job didn't pay poorly at all (not for a 22 year old with no kids) and I LOVED it. This one, I don't see me loving so much. I am going to be working for a major national retailer. I wish I could say it was somewhere glamorous like Bloomingdales or Saks or even Macys. No dice. In fact, the only way one would be able to distinguish me from an hourly cashier or stock person, is the fact that my brightly colo
The End Of An Era (THANK GOD!!!!!) 2007-03-29 17:03:00 Starting next Monday, my "single housewife, no kids" days are done. I am returning to the working world. No more sleeping in (boooo), no more "discount salmon" (eh...) and no more brokeness (whoo-hoo!). Well, there's gonna be a few more weeks of brokeness, 'til I get paid. And I have some bils to catch up on, so I won't be truly enjoying the fruits of my labor for a little while. But there will be an improvement in the quality of my life, oh yes indeedy.So, the job.....I must say first that it pays significantly better than my last gig (I was a middle-school teacher). But my last job didn't pay poorly at all (not for a 22 year old with no kids) and I LOVED it. This one, I don't see me loving so much. I am going to be working for a major national retailer. I wish I could say it was somewhere glamorous like Bloomingdales or Saks or even Macys. No dice. In fact, the only way one would be able to distinguish me from an hourly cashier or stock person, is the fact that my brightly colo
The End Of An Era (THANK GOD!!!!!) 2007-03-29 17:03:00 Starting next Monday, my "single housewife, no kids" days are done. I am returning to the working world. No more sleeping in (boooo), no more "discount salmon" (eh...) and no more brokeness (whoo-hoo!). Well, there's gonna be a few more weeks of brokeness, 'til I get paid. And I have some bils to catch up on, so I won't be truly enjoying the fruits of my labor for a little while. But there will be an improvement in the quality of my life, oh yes indeedy.So, the job.....I must say first that it pays significantly better than my last gig (I was a middle-school teacher). But my last job didn't pay poorly at all (not for a 22 year old with no kids) and I LOVED it. This one, I don't see me loving so much. I am going to be working for a major national retailer. I wish I could say it was somewhere glamorous like Bloomingdales or Saks or even Macys. No dice. In fact, the only way one would be able to distinguish me from an hourly cashier or stock person, is the fact that my brightly colo
I Need A New Sista For This Dark Cloud To Follow 2007-03-30 20:28:00 I have some seriously bad luck. I lost my cell phone AGAIN!!!! This is the second time in a 30 day period. Even the T-Mobile lady was baffled. And, since I am no longer gonna be a "single housewife" next week, I won't be home to recieve the package, which will likely come the day I am travelling to Jersey anyway! That can't happen, because I certainly can't travel all the way to Newark with no damn phone! I can't get a break! I'm sulking real hard right now, so I am gonna just leave you with some music to get your weekend off to a better start than mine, hopefully:Common f/ Sadat X- "1999"Sigh, I remember 1999 so well. The last year of my precious 90's. Did you peep Talib in the video looking extra yummy and young? He must have been about the age I am now. Him and Common are totally like my ideal mens, from what I know about them. Handsome, intelligent, talented, witty. *Sigh* Reflection Eternal- "The Blast"Pharoahe Monch- "Simon Says"He's a another hot one, on the low. I can' Read more:Cloud
, Dark Cloud
I Need A New Sista For This Dark Cloud To Follow 2007-03-30 20:28:00 I have some seriously bad luck. I lost my cell phone AGAIN!!!! This is the second time in a 30 day period. Even the T-Mobile lady was baffled. And, since I am no longer gonna be a "single housewife" next week, I won't be home to recieve the package, which will likely come the day I am travelling to Jersey anyway! That can't happen, because I certainly can't travel all the way to Newark with no damn phone! I can't get a break! I'm sulking real hard right now, so I am gonna just leave you with some music to get your weekend off to a better start than mine, hopefully:Common f/ Sadat X- "1999"Sigh, I remember 1999 so well. The last year of my precious 90's. Did you peep Talib in the video looking extra yummy and young? He must have been about the age I am now. Him and Common are totally like my ideal mens, from what I know about them. Handsome, intelligent, talented, witty. *Sigh* Reflection Eternal- "The Blast"Pharoahe Monch- "Simon Says"He's a another hot one, on the low. I can' Read more:Cloud
, Dark Cloud
I Need A New Sista For This Dark Cloud To Follow 2007-03-30 20:28:00 I have some seriously bad luck. I lost my cell phone AGAIN!!!! This is the second time in a 30 day period. Even the T-Mobile lady was baffled. And, since I am no longer gonna be a "single housewife" next week, I won't be home to recieve the package, which will likely come the day I am travelling to Jersey anyway! That can't happen, because I certainly can't travel all the way to Newark with no damn phone! I can't get a break! I'm sulking real hard right now, so I am gonna just leave you with some music to get your weekend off to a better start than mine, hopefully:Common f/ Sadat X- "1999"Sigh, I remember 1999 so well. The last year of my precious 90's. Did you peep Talib in the video looking extra yummy and young? He must have been about the age I am now. Him and Common are totally like my ideal mens, from what I know about them. Handsome, intelligent, talented, witty. *Sigh* Reflection Eternal- "The Blast"Pharoahe Monch- "Simon Says"He's a another hot one, on the low. I can' Read more:Cloud
, Dark Cloud
I Need A New Sista For This Dark Cloud To Follow 2007-03-30 20:28:00 I have some seriously bad luck. I lost my cell phone AGAIN!!!! This is the second time in a 30 day period. Even the T-Mobile lady was baffled. And, since I am no longer gonna be a "single housewife" next week, I won't be home to recieve the package, which will likely come the day I am travelling to Jersey anyway! That can't happen, because I certainly can't travel all the way to Newark with no damn phone! I can't get a break! I'm sulking real hard right now, so I am gonna just leave you with some music to get your weekend off to a better start than mine, hopefully:Common f/ Sadat X- "1999"Sigh, I remember 1999 so well. The last year of my precious 90's. Did you peep Talib in the video looking extra yummy and young? He must have been about the age I am now. Him and Common are totally like my ideal mens, from what I know about them. Handsome, intelligent, talented, witty. *Sigh* Reflection Eternal- "The Blast"Pharoahe Monch- "Simon Says"He's a another hot one, on the low. I can' Read more:Cloud
, Dark Cloud
The Questions 2007-04-01 06:10:00 Hello all! I am in much better spirits, mainly because a kind samaritan found my phone and I got it back! Makes my life a whole lot easier.This has been an odd weekend, but there was a big highlight: my friend's baby son had a party for his first birthday! He is such handsome little one! So, you know the maternal urges were kicking in extra hard. Especially when I spent a little time in the playground with one of the party's five-year-old guests. He was too funny, asking me why I had a nose ring, and why I "painted" my eyes blue (shadow, people). It was great spending time with a bunch of my Howard friends, some of whom came to town for the occasion. But the shining moment of the shindig was the gift my broke friend came up with: a dollar-store baby bookbag with scary Anime characters (complete with price tag) and a "newly purchased" copy of Breakin' on DVD, wrapped in a paper napkin. I laughed so hard my stomach ached. Dude is the funniest person I know. So, once I opened up the fl
Don't Push Me, Cause I'm Close...To..The...Eeeedge 2007-04-03 03:57:00 Hold my phone calls, cause I'm finna go to sleep. Today was a terrible, no good, very bad day. I'm just gonna do a Hate List to expose everyone and everything that done pissed me off. The Bitch Next Door: Gee, it's nice not being the only one on my floor now. Good to know if something horrible happens, I can run to you and not the dude on house arrest upstairs. However, something terrible is going to happen to YOU, Bitch, if you keep playing those same two gotdamned songs over and over and OVER again. It seems that you have a great sound system, but yet you have only two Afrobeat songs to play on it. Now, I like Fela as much as the next person. And you looked like a hoodrat, if I can recall, so I am a bit surprised and impressed at your musical taste. But you gonna meet Fela sooner than you thought if you don't SHUT THAT SHIT UP. What the fuck? It's been four days straight of this! I'm going to go kick your ass very soon. I hate you. Puffy Combs- You're continued existance and r Read more:Cause
, Close
Your Girl Wants To Party All The Time 2007-04-06 02:00:00 ...party all the time, party all the tiii-iiime.Remember the end of the video, when Eddie "hits that note" and Rick James is pumped like he won the NCAA Final Four pool at the crackhouse work? So, NCAA is over? Good. Bars can go back to being less annoying. Oh, and how great is it that the same DC Negroes who root for Georgetown's Hoyas have no love for Howard University. You know, that little largest-and-most-prestigous Black university, with unparalled contributions to African-American history? But, then again, G-Town basketball DID yield Allen Iverson. And HU seems to have supported the gentrification of Ledroit Park. Sometimes, I hate Howard too. Anyway, yes, Sister Toldja wants to party all the time. And when she's not partying, she wants to sleep. And when she's not doing that, food is the ticket. But I can't sleep, eat and party all the time. No, I have to work a craptastic job that pays well (when this stupid training is over). I have to be somewhere work related at SIX AM Read more:Party
An Open Letter To The Rutgers Women's Basketball Team 2007-04-10 03:04:00 I am interrupting my planned posts for the week to do three entries concerning the controversy surrounding Don Imus' comments. I'm droppin' science, so if ya want jokes, I suggest you check out The Onion or Lenzism . I first want to commend you ladies on a great season. If this unfortunate incident has done nothing else, it has drawn more attention to your team's successes from people like myself, who do not usually follow basketball. I hope that you will, in time, be able to look back at this season and focus on the positive memories and your remarkable achievements. That said, within the next few days, Don Imus and his co-hosts will inevitably ask your forgiveness for their despicable comments. They will express regret and remorse, yet they will likely downplay the hateful and cruel nature of their words. As a young woman and as a Black person, I have a very important request to make of you: do NOT accept the apology.For decades, Black people and women have responded to racism an Read more:Letter
, Rutgers
, Women
, Basketball
And Every Word I Say Should Be A "Hip-Hop Quotable"**** 2007-04-11 03:29:00 ****-I started this post before I read about the Imus/Rutgers controversy. As promised, I am addressing it again today.For real. Well, maybe not EVERY word. Perhaps the (RARE) stories about drunken debauchery needn't, nor the story about the time I liberated myself from the high price of farm-raised fish. But much of what I say, in this blog and out my actual mouth, is certainly the stuff Hip-Hop should be made of. But it ain't. I could be the 999th sister to write about my mixed feelings about Hip-Hop, or about how I'm abandoning the art form, culture, music or whatever we are calling 'it' these days. 'Cept my feelings aren't mixed and I'm not abandoning shit. I know exactly where I stand, and I never stood behind that which I now decry. The name of the speaker escapes me, but someone once said "Being Black is no longer enough; I need to know what your politics are." You could change "Black" to American, Democrat, Republican, female, Latino, young, etc. and get a nation of peo
I'm Off To See The Wizard- Pt. 1 2007-04-13 03:40:00 Hello internet homeskillets and real-life friends. I have not been in a blogging mood this past two days, but I decided to get on here anyway. This has been a frustrating and draining week for me, emotionally speaking. The Imus controversy made me think about a lot of upsetting things and on top of that, there have been some classist, racist things said at work that have kept this whole race debacle on my brain. I'm getting very tired of it all.A White co-worker asked me if I was always aware of my race in all situations (she is NOT the one who made the comments that upset me), and I told her yes. As I expected, she told me that isn't the case for her. Must be nice. The two of us, along with a third (Black) female co-worker had a long talk about race, class anc gender the other day. It was...good. Er, productive? These talks are difficult, but neccessary. Don't get it twisted- I'm not out here handing out "Ghetto Passes", nor is it my duty to try and explain the Black experience to Read more:Wizard
I'm Off To See The Wizard- Pt. 2 2007-04-15 20:58:00 When last we spoke, I was preparing for a trip down the Red, Black And Green Road to see the Wizard
of Blackness, so I might hand in my application for racial resignation...I finally found the gentleman I was looking for who could help me on the next step on my journey. Brother Ahmed was a tall, handsome bespectacled fellow. He wore a flawless black suit with thin, almost invisible red and green pinstripes, and a sharp red bowtie. I could smell the buttery nutmeg goodness of the fresh bean pies in his left hand and the Kwanzaa*-like spice of the incense sticks in his right. For a moment, I was enraptured and considered abdonining my task and digging for some cash so I could sample Brother Ahmed's goods. Then I recalled Snoop Dogg's response to Don Imus' comments, and my resove returned. Sister Toldja- Asalaam alaikum, Brother Ahmed.Brother Ahmed- Wa-laikum salaam, sister. What can I do for you?ST- I am looking for the, um, Red Black And Green Road. Can you help me find it?Brother Ah
Something, Something....Wizard, Part 3 2007-04-18 04:03:00 The third installment of Sister Toldja's journey on her way to meet the Wizard
of Negritude-I opened my eyes.... and I was still standing in some older lady's slighty musty closet. I felt like a plum fool- why did I even entertain this mess? "Miss Jolene? Um, didn't nothing happen Miss Jolene! Hello?" Annoyed, I headed downstairs. The lady of the home was nowhere to be found and honestly, I was glad. I really did not feel like talking to her, nor trying to get to the Wizard in any other foolywang manner she may have suggested. I just wanted to go home. Defeated, I went outside. Something was....different. Actually, EVERYTHING was different. For starters, all the greedy real estate agents had left Miss Jolene's yard. There was no mini-mansion on her left, nor a condo building on the right. The old woman's rowhouse was just that- one unit in a row of of modest, two-story walkups. The Buick LeBarons and Coup DeVilles parked outside meant one thing: Jolene was NOT the only elderly Bla
Tryin' To See The Wiz, Part 4 2007-04-20 01:20:00 Part 4 of Sister Toldja's journey to see the Wizard of Negritude!In the car was Fergie! Ewwww! I automatically put my hand up to shield myself from the fugliness that is her "meth face". "Shit" I thought to myself: surely she wanted to confront me about all the horrible-but undoubtebly true-things I have said about her over the years. Fergie: Um, scurrr'se me. Can you be telling me whurr da RBG road is n' shit?Sister Toldja: Why are you talking like that?Fergie: 'Chu mean why I be talking like dis' n'shit?ST: That's not what I said. I said "why are you talking like that"? And you are still doing it. Fergie: Dis be how I been talkin' n'shit, every since my momma and huh baby daddy maded me. Um, n'shit. Can you tell me whuur the Red Black 'n Green Road be? ST: Why? I thought you were working to become Puerto Rican?Fergie: I was, right. 'Till I fount out I were gonna have to learn Spanish. I was like "Hecky naw!" Dats way too hard. I could just watch BET and pick....uh....this
Sister Toldja Finally Meets The Wizard Of Negritude! 2007-04-21 19:01:00 The final chapter in Sister Toldja's epic tale.....part 1!Jaleel informed me that the Wizard
was on lunch. So I shot the breeze with Steve Urkel for a few minutes.Jaleel White: So, why do you want to resign from the race?Sister Toldja: You see, I've been one of those Black Power Feminists ever since I was a little girl. And....well, "This Bridge Called My Back" has gotten weary. I'm sick of nothing getting better and I'm sick of trying to help people who don't realize they need help, or who don't think they need it. I'm sick of dealing with White people who are ignorant and act like they just couldn't possibly know any better. And dammit, I want to have as little in common as possible with Clarence Cleophus Thomas!Jaleel White: Well, sorry to dissapoint but if your application goes through, you are gonna have something in common with him after all. ST: Oh shoot! Why didn't I think of that? Clarence Thomas had to have resigned from the race. JW: Well, sort of. He never handed i Read more:Finally
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