Owner: The Beat of my Drum URL:http://thebeatofmydrum.wordpress.com Join Date: Sat, 04 Aug 2007 00:18:57 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: This is a personal blog site. I named it The Beat of My Drum because I have chosen to march to the beat of my own drum and to nobody else's. I write about my beliefs, thoughts, and whatever goes on in my life. My ideas are, I guess, a little differen Site statistics:Click here
Finally free 2007-08-02 20:47:52 I’m still reeling from the shock, but I stumbled upon some rather magnificent? stupefying? mind-blowing? news yesterday. To protect my friend, I will continue using initials. W is finally out of the closet! There have always been speculations, but there has never been a definite answer. We were friends in college. He and A and I were often together. The two of us weren’t close to the extent that we could tell each other about our dreams, our hidden craziness, and our deepest, darkest secrets. But we were close enough to miss the other’s presence when one of us wasn’t around. He was one of the college heartthrobs because he was goodlooking in a wholesome way, well-bred, a gentleman, articulate, and very, very smart. He was boyfriend, even husband, material. But some girls who were interested in him would ask A and me if he was available and, more importantly, if he even wanted to be available to girls. I couldn’t really figure out why some people questioned Read more:Finally
Etc… 2007-08-02 04:15:35 Gotta run, but just so I don’t forget, S has asked me to write about a) the existence of god; b) where we go if there is no heaven or hell; c) why, if we were created by god, there is a third sex; and d) if god meant there to be a third sex at all. Pretty tall order, dude, but I’ll try to put my opinions into words and pretend (!!!) that I know the answers. I won’t have time to think about these things until next week, so until then, my articles are going to be about frivolous and silly stuff. Unless I get some sort of insight at 3 in the morning, that is.
Btw, do you know that I almost always wake up at 3 AM? Of course, I go right back to sleep. But isn’t 3 AM supposed to be the witching hour? Mmmm, pretty interesting, don’t you think?
Oh, and another thing, here’s my horoscope for today&hellip
;I like!
Others may be impressed with your apparent spontaneity and abandon, but you have probably rehearsed your actions in the safety of your mind. You look
Steep 2007-08-02 03:51:57
Softly, gently
I will let you down
‘Coz I don’t love you
In the same way now
I can hold you
But not with a lover’s arms
‘Coz you are more of
A brother to me now
And I can lie next to you
But I can’t lie to you
So walk into the sun
And watch me
Running to the rain
For you, the future’s easy
So don’t weep
The wind’s getting steep
I loved you for
Exactly who you are
And I’d say you’ve come
The nearest yet by far
And I can lie next to you
But I can’t lie to you
So walk into the sun
And watch me
Running to the rain
For you, the future’s easy
So don’t weep
The wind’s getting
Steeper…
And in the dark side’s
Where I want to be
Deeper…
I’m going somewhere
You won’t want to see
So walk into the sun
And watch me
Running to the rain
For you, the future’s easy
So don’t weep
Yes, I will watch you
W
We’re in heaven 2007-07-29 22:49:39 A message from S (I am so not happy that I have to use initials!): “You need to feel a bit deprived at times, a bit lonely, and in a way, incomplete… Cause if you’ve got everything here on earth, would you still look up to heaven?”
My question for S and everyone else is this, why is there a need to look up to heaven? What is being imparted in his message is that humans need to look up to heaven, whatever their concept of heaven is, to be satisfied, happy, and complete. But why is that so? Why does everyone have this yearning to look elsewhere for the answers? I don’t get it. I’m sorry, I just don’t. The way I see it, if a person could transform his own life, his own existence, into whatever he imagines heaven is like, he would have it infinitely much better than those who struggle to find the key to happiness in religious organizations, pilgrimages to faraway places, graven images, meditation, and in people who they believe know the meaning of
Codes 2007-07-27 22:09:42 N (I’m using initials now because my friends have asked/begged me to stop using their real names…spoilsports!) told me that I write beautifully but she couldn’t figure out what some of my blogs mean. So I reread my posts and started laughing. She was right. Sometimes, I do sound cryptic. Those who do not know me personally will not get my meaning. Even those who know me personally won’t really fathom the meaning of my words. Well, at least I know what my words mean, which is the most important thing, since my words are my truth. This is somewhat a disadvantage, however, because I want to cater to a wider audience now (ooh, feeling celebrity!), but I tend to write down whatever is going on in my mind without really giving a thought to whether or not it makes sense at all. That’s one purpose of blogging, for me at least. It’s a way of catching your thoughts while they are trying to run away from you.
G read “Centripetal Motion” the other d Read more:Codes
Friggin’ hair! 2007-07-27 20:47:17 Aaah! My hair is so stubborn! I’ve been coloring it black because I want to have long, straight, jet black hair. The long and straight parts are easy to maintain, since my hair is naturally long and straight. But it seems to refuse to stay jet black! Just two weeks ago, I had it darkened again. And now, it’s turning brownish! Again! For the nth time! Grrr! So what I’m gonna do today is go to the salon (again!), and ask them to use the darkest shade of black they can on my hair. I’m thinking blue black. Now, if my hair turns brownish again after that, then, I guess that’s it. I’m giving up! But please, please, pleeeaaassseee, oh lovely, spoiled, clever hair of mine, stay black! For once, okay? Just do this for me and I’ll give you all the love and pampering that you need.
Publicity 2007-07-26 05:41:11 Hey, I’m getting good feedback regarding this site. The thing is, I meant for my blogs to be read only by strangers. My former blogsite was on another domain, a private one not displayed on search engines. Then I decided to transfer my files here, since I wanted my site’s domain to be called the beat of my drum. That title signifies my desire and decision to march to the beat of my own drum, and not to the beat of anyone else’s drum. The problem was, my other site’s domain name could not be changed. So I had to either stick with that domain (a Latin term I was getting tired of), or get a new site. I decided to go with the latter option. Then, I chose to make this domain public. However, I didn’t mean for this site to be seen by anyone who directly or indirectly knows me. I didn’t give the URL to my friends, even when they asked for it. Only two other people knew about this site, my BFF’s. I meant for my other friends and acquaintances to be in
Just friends? 2007-07-24 22:27:27 Oh, btw, remember Dean? The guy I can’t figure out? It’s official. He is really weird. Yup, he texted me again. Just a “Hi, Russ!” And that was it. If all he wants is somebody to exchange text messages with, then he’s going to have to find someone else because I’m not into that. Remember that all he does is imply that he wants to go out with me, but he never actually asks me out? I don’t know… Maybe he’s intimidated. Maybe he thinks I’m too hot for him? Hehe Awww, Russ, you’re too conceited. Okay, okay, I take it back! Seriously, maybe he wants me to be the one to ask him out. Well, if he’s waiting for an invitation, then he’s in for a big disappointment. I have never, in my life, made the first move to get a guy I want. And I never will. I’m too proud to chase men. I like being chased instead.
I have to admit, the unpredictable behavior keeps me tuned in, though. Maybe that’s his M.O. Remain a
Centripetal motion 2007-07-24 21:39:55 I am finding myself in a very weird situation right now. To avoid any more drama, I will not elaborate. Although I think it’s too late by now… The plot already has enough twists that I’m pretty sure it would be tabloid fodder if I and the other thespians in this play were celebrities. Imagine the commotion it would cause! Our homes would probably be swarming with paparazzi by now. But enough with the drama, thank you very much. I did not ask to be in this situation. One seemingly innocent (okay, so maybe not so innocent) meeting a couple of months back set the wheels in motion, and now we’re here. I’ve been saying, “This is really none of my business.” The response? “Well, it is your business now.” I would very much like to be left alone, but since I have already been pulled into this by certain forces, then it’s futile to try to deny my involvement. So yes, like it or not, and for all intents and purposes, I guess I am invol
Sex and whatnot 2007-08-05 23:01:54 As proposed by law, sex will now be taxed:
Upon penetration - (VAT) Vaginal Access Tax
More than 30 minutes inside - Burial Tax
Upon withdrawal - Exit Tax
Those who do not have a sex life - Idle Asset Tax
Those who practice the withdrawal method of birth control - Withholding Tax
Entering vagina other than wife’s - Road Users Tax
If this bill is passed in every country, all countries, including the third world, will be able to pay their debts. This makes for a very good argument for sex - pre, intra, or extra. Eh?
So sex can save the world after all. What do you say? Let’s all make love to make poverty history!
Well then, stop reading this blog and go get yourself some action! (Or you can continue reading this, and when you’re done, go get yourself some action!)
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A rich widow is looking for a mate who
won’t beat her up;
won’t run away;
is great in bed.
Many prospects have
WOLF 2007-08-05 04:02:51 I don’t think I’ll get to finish writing my entire collection of poems on my poetry page today. I’ll try to have it done before the end of next week, I promise. But here’s a teaser. This is one of my favorites, and it was the movie Wolf, starring Jack Nicholson and Michelle Pfeiffer, that inspired me to write it. I wrote this on June 8, 1997. I was 20 years old then.
Enjoy!
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Wolf
His sleek, black hide
Rivaled the darkness
Of the moonless night
Giving the surroundings
The appearance of hell.
I saw black trees
And red sky
Sensed death
The instant
I laid eyes on him.
His own eyes
Were two pools of light
Two brutal forces
Glowing, staring
Right through me
To the void inside.
It struck me as odd
That fear
Had not seized my limbs.
Ordinarily
I would have run
Run with all my might
Away from that beast
Run, run, run,
Till I could run no more.
Ironically, there was
No smell of danger
In the air.
What
AMONGST MANY LIVES 2007-08-05 02:12:36 I feel like I am living amongst lives, amongst lifetimes. The state I am in at this point could be a permanent one, or it could also be just a temporary incarnation of one girl (all right, woman), and a year from now I could be living a totally different life again. I am completely at peace with that possibility, and very excited to see what else is in store for me, albeit more than a little scared, too. But I have never really been afraid of change. In fact, I welcome change, and I know it’s true that change is the only constant in life. I do get apprehensive sometimes, and I can’t help but fear changes that will not be beneficial to me. I know I’m equipped with the tools to cope, so I refuse to be daunted or intimidated. I think I can describe my life as somewhat akin to living in different dimensions from one moment to the next. In this lifetime, or in this space in time, I am one person. In the next, I am nothing like the girl I was just a few weeks, a few months
Before I take a shower 2007-08-04 04:21:12 This is gonna make you laugh. And if it doesn’t, then I guess that will just prove how weird I am for finding humor in this story, if you can even call it that. Try to make sense of it. It’s a classic example of a crime against the English language.
A Love Story
There’s this persona ingrata from my alma mother who asked for my number so we can keep intact. I said, connect me if I’m wrong, but are you asking me out? He said, what the fact?! I mean, tell me to the marines, the face! The nerd! I cried out of madness, I cried buckles of tears! Then he said, don’t cry. Just think this is a blessing in the sky. Irregardless of how I feel let’s go out still. Though we’re not yet so in love. Mute and epidemic is the past. Thanks god we swallowed our fried. Because I’m 36 already and I’m running out on time. My biological watch is clicking. After two weeks, he asked me, will you marriage me? Oh, really when it rains it’s four! This i
It’s raining men! 2007-08-08 20:19:53 Er - I wish it were raining men, that is! The reality is, it’s raining…well…cats and dogs! Been raining cats and dogs since the other day. It’s typhoon season, the streets are flooded, classes were suspended yesterday, and people are stuck inside their homes. Yes, people are staying in, and your writer has no choice but to stay in, too. And your writer staying in means that:
your writer = royally pissed that instead of being out boozing, playing billiards, people-watching, and people-okraying, she’s forced to stay inside because she doesn’t want to be stranded on the road at 3 in the morning;
the guardians of the gate = jubilant, ecstatic, über-grateful, doing cartwheels, raising their hands to the heavens because your writer has no recourse but to stay in;
JK Rowling, the first novelist to ever become a billionaire = will become even richer because her newest baby, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, has been chosen to keep your writ
Hyperfocus and Flow 2007-08-07 21:59:56 I came upon an article by another blogger about hyperfocus and flow. It was enlightening because it was only then that I realized the two terms are the technical terms for the popular phrase “in the zone”. I think the subject makes for an interesting discussion, so I looked both terms up in Wikipedia.
Hyperfocus is an intense form of mental concentration or visualization that focuses consciousness on a narrow subject, or beyond objective reality and onto subjective mental planes, daydreams, concepts, fiction, the imagination, and other objects of the mind.
From a neurodiversity (an idea that asserts that atypical (neurodivergent) neurological wiring is a normal human difference that is to be tolerated and respected as any other human difference) perspective, hyperfocus is a mental ability that is a natural expression of personality. However, hyperfocus can also be regarded as a psychiatric diagnosis, as a distraction from reality and a symptom of attention deficit hyperact
In absentia 2007-08-06 19:25:37 ID’s moving back to D.C. The Washington bigwigs have spoken, and the move has to be completed by the end of the month. So ID’s leaving for D.C. For good. As in, never to return.
Bummer. Just when things in life are going well. Ah, c’est la vie! Vraiment?
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So what’s with the French? Finally thought of something to do while waiting for the results. I’m going to take French classes. Yep. Seems like I’m addicted to studying, huh? G’s taking Mandarin, and she’s encouraging me to join her. I’m tempted, so maybe after the French lessons, I’m going to take Mandarin classes, too.
Never let the brain tissue atrophy (MedSurg101: the term is mostly used to refer to muscles, but can be used to refer to other tissues, organs, and various body parts as well), some wise doctor once said.
Take 2 2007-07-22 22:52:40 The Mata guy from May? I’m seeing him again tonight. I saw him again last Tuesday, actually. He’ll be in Manila until the 28th. Yes, I’m still interested. And he’s still not exhibiting any signs of psychosis, so I guess I’ll keep seeing him until he leaves. Well, there’s actually a psycho twist in the situation, remember? But that’s a different story altogether, one I’m not going to get into right now.
And my adventures continue…
Playing with fire 2007-07-21 21:18:45 The time has come, the walrus said, to talk of many things -
Of shoes and ships and sealing wax,
Of cabbages and kings…
The time has come, I have been saying,
To talk about this game I’m playing.
B.I.T.C.H. logo 2007-08-09 22:39:57 Have you noticed that the middle image on my header has changed? It used to be of The Body Shop strawberry collection, and now it’s of the B.I.T.C.H. logo. This new one definitely kicks the former’s ass, don’t you agree? I’m loving it! Originally intended for it to be displayed on my Multiply homepage, but I figured I could use it as a statement on this site, too.
Excuse any more changes in the succeeding days/weeks. I’ve said it before. My life is one big experiment at present.
Keep viewing! Oh, and vote for me while you’re at it, will you? (I know, I know…This is shameless self-promotion. ) Thanks!
The Death of Perfection 2007-08-09 20:29:28 The death of the supermodel is the death of perfection, or more accurately, the death of the icon of perfection.
In the August issue of Vogue, there is a letter from John Casablancas, former chairman of Elite, Brazil, about the cover of the May issue, 5 models who are supposedly the new supermodels. The former chairman says that, even though all the girls on the cover are beautiful, none of them are recognizable. That is so true. Is any of the new models on magazine covers and on the runways a household name? Can you name any current model who is nearly as famous as the original supermodels were? I don’t think so. I believe the supermodel died with Gisele Bündchen. There was a time when you could recognize a model by her first name alone: Iman, Cindy, Claudia, Naomi, Paulina, Tyra, Heidi, Kate. And yes, Gisele. I concede that there seems to be a lot more models now, and all of them are beautiful (except for those who are clearly suffering from anorexia nervosa), but no one stand Read more:Perfection
Ode 2007-08-15 01:21:12
She of the Air
- R
She looks you up and down
She of the knowing smile
She arches her brow
She then tosses her head
Turns right around
You’re stuck, mute, and bound
She reminds you of winter
She of the cold, cold hands
She with the freezing stare
She strokes with cunning fingers
The small of her back
Flaunts strength that you lack
She walks towards a god
She whispers to his neck
She moves to hold your gaze
She laughs, you turn away
Because if you look in her eye
You will break down and cry
She knows that you know
She will never be yours
She knows that you see
She will not give her soul
Nor a strand of her hair
She belongs to the air
The She in the poem is based on the Estella character from Great Expectations. Do you remember her, the one who kept torturing Pip; his unattainable dream? (They did end up together, at least in one version of the ending.) But her cruelty and apathy intrigued and inspired me. Hence, the poem. I’m still workin
Get paid to review my posts! 2007-08-13 22:59:18 Notice the “Review my Post” button at the bottom of a couple of my posts
? Click on that, post a review
of my post on your weblog, and generate some money. Of course, your review is subject to approval. And you have to become a Payperpost member first. But once your review has been approved, you and I will both get paid! Not a bad deal, huh? Nothing to lose and everything to gain. So why not try it?
I’ll leave you with some medicine:
Question: How will a gentleman tell his dinner date that he has to pee?
Answer: Excuse me. I have to shake hands with a friend who hopes to meet you after dinner.
What the heck, I’ll also insert a review button here. You might want to review this post, too. Doesn’t hurt to create as many income-generating opportunities as possible!
Good day!
I am the keeper of a happiness that is relentless and shamelessly free 2007-08-13 03:46:09
The tandem of pain and sorrow is overrated. Life is always being defined by this tandem. We are taught to learn to cope with it. We are in great fear of it, and we avoid it at all costs. A friend describes herself as the master of masters at handling pain, displaying the description as a form of achievement in her young life. That is all well, and I admire her for her ability to handle pain, and to handle it well. But I will genuflect, kowtow even, to the master of masters at handling happiness
. Most of us assume that it is effortless to manage happiness. After all, it is what we all strive for. Happiness is what we stake our claim to, in spite of and against all odds. It is only when we are truly face to face with its majestic and formidable form that we become aware that it is much more difficult to be happy than it is to be sad. It takes discipline, courage, and strength to accept happiness. Notice that when we are assailed by this sometimes elusive feeling or mental state or judg Read more:relentless
My jet black hair 2007-08-13 02:15:50 …is staying jet black! Yay!!! It’s well into week 2 of my jet black hair, and I’m extremely pleased because it’s not turning into any shade of brown. I know it’s still too early to tell, but I’m hoping it will stay jet black. Keeping my fingers crossed!
I really wish my parents had named me Raven instead. Raven Anne has a very nice ring to it.
Picture(s) to come!
Results not out 2007-08-18 00:18:09
I’ve been getting queries about the results and requests to send them via email. I will, once they’re out. BON officials are denying the rumors that they will be out this week. A BON official who was interviewed by Inquirer said that they will most likely post the results towards the end of the month.
To calm your nerves, party the night away or take some anti-anxiety drugs. I’m kidding, by the way. Well, just about the drugs. You’re free to party the night away. In fact, methinks it’s a good suggestion.
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Speaking of drugs, let me just put the ff. here so that I don’t forget them. I keep forgetting them:
Atropine SO4 = Generally, atropine lowers the “rest and digest” activity of all muscles and glands regulated by the parasympathetic nervous system. This occurs because atropine is a competitive antagonist of the muscarinic acetylcholine receptors. (Acetylcholine is the ma
The goddamn skies, my patron saint, Grisham, and social networking sites 2007-08-17 10:40:50
Those darn cats and dogs are once again raining on my parade. I thought they’d eventually stop their bickering and have the decency to leave this country in peace so I could go out tonight. No such luck. If anything, they’re even more aggressive now. Oh well, what did I expect? It’s typhoon season, so I guess those goddamn
cats and dogs have every right to be here. And that feisty señorita La Niña is not helping things any. So, I had to cancel my date with my constant companion and patron
saint Miguel (he of the 100 calories). I now have a date with John (Grisham
, that is). I’m answering his summons. In a nutshell: A sick, retired judge summons his 2 sons, Forrest and Ray. “But the family meeting does not take place. The judge dies too soon, and in doing so leaves behind a shocking secret known only to Ray. And perhaps someone else.” Ooh, intriguing, huh? Yeah, I think good old Johnny is a good enough substitute for my darling Saint Miggy. In any Read more:networking
That cool dude Quentin 2007-08-17 10:20:10
I have to rave about Quentin Tarantino. I’ve always known that guy was cool, but I didn’t know he was this cool. He came to the Philippines to attend the Cinemanila International Film Festival. Wednesday, on his way to Malacañang to meet with the president and to accept a lifetime achievement award, his limousine got stuck in traffic in the flooded streets of Manila. He was forced to take - get this - a pedicab! It’s a bicycle with a sidecar, and it’s a mode of transportation for people who can’t afford a jeepney or cab fare. I watched him being interviewed about the experience. He didn’t seem fazed or annoyed. If anything, he looked like he was having fun. He was wearing a barong Tagalog, a formal, traditional attire for men and usually worn instead of a coat and tie, with what looked like a pair of jogging pants! I’m sure that there is now a soft spot for him in most Filipinos’ hearts. And the fact that he’s currently writing a
Play, baby! 2007-08-15 22:37:40 The wisdom of Meredith Grey:
“So go ahead. Argue with the ref, change the rules. Cheat a little, take a break, and tend to your wounds. But play. Play. Play hard, play fast. Play loose and free. Play as if there were no tomorrow. It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game…right?“
This angst-ridden, volatile surgical intern may be a train wreck just waiting to happen, but her words ring true. I’ve said it before. Life is one big game, and the stage has been set from the very beginning. As with any game, there are rules. If you want to remain true to yourself, you can amend those rules. You can even break them. Or heck, why not just make your own rules? It’s your game, after all. Play hard. Play to the best of your ability. Play as if the end was near. Don’t look back. Just keep your eye on the ball. No matter what happens, your goal is to get your hands on that ball. Once it’s in your court, don’t lose it. You better not los
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